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Family Family
“Not all stories of adoption are stories of pain and regret. Not even most of them. Why don’t we ever get that movie?”
India Allwood grew up wanting to be an actor. Armed with a stack of index cards (for research/line memorization/make-shift confetti), she goes from awkward sixteen-year-old to Broadway ingenue to TV superhero.
Her new movie is a prestige picture about adoption, but its spin is the same old tired story of tragedy. India is an adoptive mom in real life though. She wants everyone to know there’s more to her family than pain and regret. So she does something you should never do—she tells a journalist the truth: it’s a bad movie.
Soon she’s at the center of a media storm, battling accusations from the press and the paparazzi, from protesters on the right and advocates on the left. Her twin ten-year-olds know they need help–and who better to call than family? But that’s where it gets really messy because India’s not just an adoptive mother…
The one thing she knows for sure is what makes a family isn’t blood. And it isn’t love. No matter how they’re formed, the truth about family is this: it's complicated.
India Allwood grew up wanting to be an actor. Armed with a stack of index cards (for research/line memorization/make-shift confetti), she goes from awkward sixteen-year-old to Broadway ingenue to TV superhero.
Her new movie is a prestige picture about adoption, but its spin is the same old tired story of tragedy. India is an adoptive mom in real life though. She wants everyone to know there’s more to her family than pain and regret. So she does something you should never do—she tells a journalist the truth: it’s a bad movie.
Soon she’s at the center of a media storm, battling accusations from the press and the paparazzi, from protesters on the right and advocates on the left. Her twin ten-year-olds know they need help–and who better to call than family? But that’s where it gets really messy because India’s not just an adoptive mother…
The one thing she knows for sure is what makes a family isn’t blood. And it isn’t love. No matter how they’re formed, the truth about family is this: it's complicated.
400 pages, Hardcover
First published January 23, 2024
About the author
Laurie Frankel
23 books3,548 followersLaurie Frankel is the bestselling author of five novels: FAMILY FAMILY, coming 1/23/24, as well as ONE TWO THREE, THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS IS, GOODBYE FOR NOW, and THE ATLAS OF LOVE. She lives with her family on a very steep hill in Seattle, but she's an east coaster at heart. She is also a baseball fan, a soup maker, a theater lover, a yoga practicer, a comma expert, and a huge reader (just like you).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,789 reviews
February 16, 2024
In a Nutshell: A contemporary drama that highlights a special family, and what makes it a family, and even what IS a ‘family’. Dragged a little bit in between, but overall, I loved how thought-provoking this read was. Definitely recommended!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Plot Preview:
Having recently read and adored Laurie Frankel’s ‘This Is How It Always Is’, I had very high expectations from this one. While it may not have worked to the same level, it still offered plenty of satisfaction.
Bookish Yays:
😍 I loved how the book highlights that family isn’t necessarily father + mother + child. There are n number of combinations possible, and no specific combo makes a family better or worse.
😍 We see adoption from a very different viewpoint herein. To be clear, this novel is not THE story of adoption; rather, it is A story of adoption. This is most important to understand. My mind rebelled at times while listening to this book as it kept chiming, ‘This is not how an adoption story is supposed to go.’ But then I realised that this is exactly the point of the author – that there is no single adoption story!
😍 Just as in the above-mentioned novel that deals with a transgender child, the author doesn't generalise the solution nor promote India’s actions as universally true or necessary or justified. There are no judgemental remarks about what should be done or should have been done, but just a mention of what the characters did.
😍 A great chunk of the story in both timelines comes to us from the perspective of children. I found this interesting as we get to see varied troublesome events through innocent eyes and hence, through a filtered point of view.
😍 Fig was my favourite character. She sounds too grown-up for a typical ten-year-old, but as the author says in her parting note, not every ten year old is necessarily childish, and I agree. Fig reminded me a lot of how my elder daughter was at ten (except for the trauma), so it was somewhat nostalgic to see her stumble through big words and try to handle mature situations in what she thought was the best approach.
😍 Through India’s acting career, we get excellent insights about life for actors in theatre and on television. It felt so authentic that I googled to see if Frankel was an actress as well.
😍 A small part of the book is set during the COVID pandemic and the resultant lockdown. I quite liked how the impact of the pandemic was depicted in the story. (That said, readers who are sensitive about the COVID might not like this section.)
😍 The author’s note is again eye-opening, where she reveals her own experiences as an adoptive mother.
Bookish Mixed Bags:
😐 The goody-goody characters: Don’t get me wrong. I liked almost all of the characters in this book, but the problem was exactly that: all of them are too likeable. There was not a single negative character. Without going into spoilers, all I can say is: there were many scenes where a character could have been angry or accusatory or argumentative, but in this book, almost everything is resolved with barely an increase in the decibel level.
😐 The storyline drags somewhat in between. Thankfully, this wasn’t so bad on audio, but I still felt like the same topics were being repeated time and again. The start and the end were mostly good.
Bookish Nays:
😟 Some of the character actions are too farfetched to digest without complaining. Not a single character (bar Fig) seems to have trauma from their past, which is questionable, and has no grouses in the present, which is unlikely. The whole book goes by too smoothly to feel realistic.
😟 The dialogues seem somewhat stilted at times, especially when the conversations involved only two people. The flow felt jumpy.
🎧 The Audiobook Experience:
The audiobook, clocking at almost 15 hours, is narrated by Patti Murin. She does a pretty wonderful job of ensuring that each character sounds distinct without going overboard in her accents and voices.
The audiobook includes the author’s note (Thank you, Macmillan! Rarely do we ARC listeners get to hear the author’s note in the audio!) It also has a bonus interview between the author and the narrator. This was quite enlightening for me, both in terms of the writing process as well as the narration process. If ever anyone thought that narrating an audiobook is just picking up a book and reading into a mic, they need to hear this interview. I also learnt that narrators cannot always sing any included songs in the audio version as the song rights need to be purchased separately. Wow!
All in all, despite the little niggles I had, I still enjoyed this story. We are so used to seeing the negative kind of adoption narrative that this overly positive portrayal feels odd, untrue, unacceptable. But in the realm of adoptive permutations and combinations, this story is also plausible. As the author states, ‘Representation matters but positive representation matters more.’
Definitely recommended to readers who enjoy books that make them ponder the what-ifs and why-nots. This would also make a great book-club read.
4 stars.
My thanks to Macmillan Audio for the ALC of “Family Family”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the audiobook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connect with me through:
My Blog || The StoryGraph || Instagram || X/Twitter || Facebook ||
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Plot Preview:
India Allwood has always wanted to be an actor. Her dreams start to come true at sixteen when she joins a drama course, and then gets a role on Broadway and later, as the lead of a TV superhero series.
Her new movie is a story of adoption, the kind of story that has been depicted multiple times before. So when a journalist asks India’s opinion about it, she honestly states that the movie isn’t good.
This creates an uproar, and India is soon at the centre of a media storm, battling all kinds of accusations about her position on adoption. This is when India’s ten-year-old twins, Fig and Jack, step in to help by calling up the family.
Who else is in this family?
Ah… that’s where it gets complicated!
The story comes to us through the third person perspective of various characters, and in a dual timeline – one contemporary and the other beginning in 1998 and leading up to present time.
Having recently read and adored Laurie Frankel’s ‘This Is How It Always Is’, I had very high expectations from this one. While it may not have worked to the same level, it still offered plenty of satisfaction.
Bookish Yays:
😍 I loved how the book highlights that family isn’t necessarily father + mother + child. There are n number of combinations possible, and no specific combo makes a family better or worse.
😍 We see adoption from a very different viewpoint herein. To be clear, this novel is not THE story of adoption; rather, it is A story of adoption. This is most important to understand. My mind rebelled at times while listening to this book as it kept chiming, ‘This is not how an adoption story is supposed to go.’ But then I realised that this is exactly the point of the author – that there is no single adoption story!
😍 Just as in the above-mentioned novel that deals with a transgender child, the author doesn't generalise the solution nor promote India’s actions as universally true or necessary or justified. There are no judgemental remarks about what should be done or should have been done, but just a mention of what the characters did.
😍 A great chunk of the story in both timelines comes to us from the perspective of children. I found this interesting as we get to see varied troublesome events through innocent eyes and hence, through a filtered point of view.
😍 Fig was my favourite character. She sounds too grown-up for a typical ten-year-old, but as the author says in her parting note, not every ten year old is necessarily childish, and I agree. Fig reminded me a lot of how my elder daughter was at ten (except for the trauma), so it was somewhat nostalgic to see her stumble through big words and try to handle mature situations in what she thought was the best approach.
😍 Through India’s acting career, we get excellent insights about life for actors in theatre and on television. It felt so authentic that I googled to see if Frankel was an actress as well.
😍 A small part of the book is set during the COVID pandemic and the resultant lockdown. I quite liked how the impact of the pandemic was depicted in the story. (That said, readers who are sensitive about the COVID might not like this section.)
😍 The author’s note is again eye-opening, where she reveals her own experiences as an adoptive mother.
Bookish Mixed Bags:
😐 The goody-goody characters: Don’t get me wrong. I liked almost all of the characters in this book, but the problem was exactly that: all of them are too likeable. There was not a single negative character. Without going into spoilers, all I can say is: there were many scenes where a character could have been angry or accusatory or argumentative, but in this book, almost everything is resolved with barely an increase in the decibel level.
😐 The storyline drags somewhat in between. Thankfully, this wasn’t so bad on audio, but I still felt like the same topics were being repeated time and again. The start and the end were mostly good.
Bookish Nays:
😟 Some of the character actions are too farfetched to digest without complaining. Not a single character (bar Fig) seems to have trauma from their past, which is questionable, and has no grouses in the present, which is unlikely. The whole book goes by too smoothly to feel realistic.
😟 The dialogues seem somewhat stilted at times, especially when the conversations involved only two people. The flow felt jumpy.
🎧 The Audiobook Experience:
The audiobook, clocking at almost 15 hours, is narrated by Patti Murin. She does a pretty wonderful job of ensuring that each character sounds distinct without going overboard in her accents and voices.
The audiobook includes the author’s note (Thank you, Macmillan! Rarely do we ARC listeners get to hear the author’s note in the audio!) It also has a bonus interview between the author and the narrator. This was quite enlightening for me, both in terms of the writing process as well as the narration process. If ever anyone thought that narrating an audiobook is just picking up a book and reading into a mic, they need to hear this interview. I also learnt that narrators cannot always sing any included songs in the audio version as the song rights need to be purchased separately. Wow!
All in all, despite the little niggles I had, I still enjoyed this story. We are so used to seeing the negative kind of adoption narrative that this overly positive portrayal feels odd, untrue, unacceptable. But in the realm of adoptive permutations and combinations, this story is also plausible. As the author states, ‘Representation matters but positive representation matters more.’
Definitely recommended to readers who enjoy books that make them ponder the what-ifs and why-nots. This would also make a great book-club read.
4 stars.
My thanks to Macmillan Audio for the ALC of “Family Family”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the audiobook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connect with me through:
My Blog || The StoryGraph || Instagram || X/Twitter || Facebook ||
February 23, 2024
At six, author Laurie Frankel’s adopted daughter, who was assigned male at birth, announced that she wanted to wear dresses.
So began Frankel’s journey as a parent of a transgender child, which inspired her groundbreaking novel This Is How It Always Is (2017), currently in development as a television series.
Adoption also comes into play in her most recent release Family Family.
Acclaimed actress India Allwood, star of the television hit “Val Halla,” has just finished shooting a movie about a tragic, drug-addicted couple whose baby winds up in the social service system.
All hell breaks loose after she publicly criticizes the film that she’s meant to be promoting.
India’s outspoken belief that adoption isn’t only about trauma, loss, abandonment, and lifelong grief sets off a media firestorm and leads to the release of private information about her past — including her own decision in high school to give a baby up for adoption.
Turns out, India chose to place not one but two biological children up for adoption, at age sixteen and again at twenty.
She later becomes a single mother by choice, adopting four-year-old twin siblings who are traumatized by their mentally ill birth mother.
Now 10-years-old, the twins decide to intervene on India’s behalf, and well, all hell breaks loose at home, too.
At its heart, Family Family is a contemporary love story that artfully raises questions about what makes a family and what a family looks like.
India and her motley crew are proof positive that not every adoption story is a tragedy. Adoption can be joyful — and heartbreaking, and difficult, and confusing — for everyone involved.
Frankel’s latest offering is filled with thought-provoking little nuggets of life wisdom like, “Regardless of how they get made, family is a force to be reckoned with.”
Family Family is one of those books that everyone involved in adoption should read.
Scratch that.
It’s a book that everyone involved in a family should read.
January 17, 2024
Laurie Frankel has become a favorite author of mine over the years. I had previously read her books One Two Three and This is How It Always Is and enjoyed them both very much. Therefore, when I saw that Laurie Frankel had written a new book I was so excited to get my hands on it. Family Family was centered around the concept of adoption, among other things. If we are honest with ourselves, when we hear the word “adoption”, many of our minds often think that it was probably a last resort, that it might prove challenging for both the adoptive parents or parent and the child who was adopted and that a stigma might be attached to the adoption. Laurie Frankel presented such a refreshing outlook on the process of adoption through India Allwood, one of the main characters in the book.
India aspired to become an actress since she was a young girl and fortunately for her that dream came true. The latest movie that India had been cast in happened to be about adoption. India was not pleased with the way the movie portrayed adoption. In the movie, adoption was seen as something that was tragic. India knew it was nothing close to being tragic and so she could not he,p herself when she voluntarily voiced her opinion about abortion to a journalist. As a result of that unplanned and out of character decision, India found herself in the middle of a “media storm”. India’s unsolicited comments proved to have provoked dire consequences for her acting career unless her family can come to her rescue and figure out a way to save her career.
The topic of adoption was one that meant a lot to Laurie Frankel. I really enjoyed the way Laurie Frankel presented adoption in Family Family. It was positive and uplifting. She created characters that were believable and quite likable. I don’t think that there were any characters that I did not like in this book. There were quite a few twists in this book that I didn’t see coming. I enjoyed that certain parts of the book that made me laugh, shake my head in agreement and even say good for you. The author’s notes at the end were very informative and so worth reading or listening to. I was lucky enough to have won a print edition of Family Family in a Goodreads giveaway. Thank you to Henry Holt and Company for providing me with this ARC. I was also approved to listen to the audiobook of Family Family through Netgalley. Thank you to Macmillan Audio for allowing me to listen to it. The audiobook was narrated very well by Patti Marin. I mostly listened to the audiobook but did occasionally read the print version at the same time. Family Family was about choices, adoption, pregnancy, single parenting, how to find a good balance between a demanding career and bringing up children, standing up for what you believe in, a father’s involvement in an unplanned pregnancy, the choices available after the birth and the ability to follow your dreams. I really enjoyed Family Family and recommend it very highly.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio for allowing me to listen to the audiobook of Family Family through Netgalley in exchange for a honest review. Thank you also to Henry Holt & Company for allowing me to read the print edition book of Family Family through Goodreads in exchange for a honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. Publication is set for January 23, 2024.
India aspired to become an actress since she was a young girl and fortunately for her that dream came true. The latest movie that India had been cast in happened to be about adoption. India was not pleased with the way the movie portrayed adoption. In the movie, adoption was seen as something that was tragic. India knew it was nothing close to being tragic and so she could not he,p herself when she voluntarily voiced her opinion about abortion to a journalist. As a result of that unplanned and out of character decision, India found herself in the middle of a “media storm”. India’s unsolicited comments proved to have provoked dire consequences for her acting career unless her family can come to her rescue and figure out a way to save her career.
The topic of adoption was one that meant a lot to Laurie Frankel. I really enjoyed the way Laurie Frankel presented adoption in Family Family. It was positive and uplifting. She created characters that were believable and quite likable. I don’t think that there were any characters that I did not like in this book. There were quite a few twists in this book that I didn’t see coming. I enjoyed that certain parts of the book that made me laugh, shake my head in agreement and even say good for you. The author’s notes at the end were very informative and so worth reading or listening to. I was lucky enough to have won a print edition of Family Family in a Goodreads giveaway. Thank you to Henry Holt and Company for providing me with this ARC. I was also approved to listen to the audiobook of Family Family through Netgalley. Thank you to Macmillan Audio for allowing me to listen to it. The audiobook was narrated very well by Patti Marin. I mostly listened to the audiobook but did occasionally read the print version at the same time. Family Family was about choices, adoption, pregnancy, single parenting, how to find a good balance between a demanding career and bringing up children, standing up for what you believe in, a father’s involvement in an unplanned pregnancy, the choices available after the birth and the ability to follow your dreams. I really enjoyed Family Family and recommend it very highly.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio for allowing me to listen to the audiobook of Family Family through Netgalley in exchange for a honest review. Thank you also to Henry Holt & Company for allowing me to read the print edition book of Family Family through Goodreads in exchange for a honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. Publication is set for January 23, 2024.
October 22, 2023
Publication date: January, 2024
My emotions have been buffeted about for years after reading books either glorifying or vilifying adoption, abortion, single parenthood ...among other issues regarding children and child-raising. True, its not always a good experience however its done. People may carry childhood trauma with them forever.
So, about this book- it started slow for me, got to second and third gear, and then found fourth gear, humming beautifully along at a steady pace of great, creative, smart dialogue. Some of the come-backs I will try to remember for my own future use. It's slightly outrageous, nails social media and often shows great common sense and hopefulness. For all parents and all children. Highly recommended.
My thanks to the author, Laurie Frankel, and the publisher, Henry Holt & Co. for my ARC of this book. #Goodreads Giveaway
My emotions have been buffeted about for years after reading books either glorifying or vilifying adoption, abortion, single parenthood ...among other issues regarding children and child-raising. True, its not always a good experience however its done. People may carry childhood trauma with them forever.
So, about this book- it started slow for me, got to second and third gear, and then found fourth gear, humming beautifully along at a steady pace of great, creative, smart dialogue. Some of the come-backs I will try to remember for my own future use. It's slightly outrageous, nails social media and often shows great common sense and hopefulness. For all parents and all children. Highly recommended.
My thanks to the author, Laurie Frankel, and the publisher, Henry Holt & Co. for my ARC of this book. #Goodreads Giveaway
December 12, 2023
TW//
It’s hard to rate this book because on the one hand, this book does really great things that will be lifechanging for some people, but on the other hand, it wasn’t perfect. I settled on giving it three stars based on my personal enjoyment level of the book. However, if you haven’t read a positive adoption story or if you have only read books where adoption is viewed as a last resort, please read this book (or one like it.) This book shows that adoption isn’t a walk in the park, but it also shows really well how adoption isn’t always a traumatic event.
I loved how this book dealt with a lot of hard hitting topics. Adoption was obviously the biggest one in the story and I appreciated Laurie Frankel’s unique viewpoint on the topic, especially given her personal history with adoption. I also felt that how Fig and Jack dealt with their trauma was done really well. They each show different ways that childhood trauma effects kids. While I personally related more to Fig with how I deal with trauma, seeing Jack’s reponse was really eye opening for me. The pro-choice plotline was amazing as well. It was written beautifully. It highlighted what the movement is actually for, and what being pro-choice looks like for someone who is pro-choice but doesn’t choose to have an abortion.
I also appreciated how much drama and intrigue was in Family Family. When I would think I figured out what was happening next in the story, Frankel would throw in a new plot twist that would throw me for a loop and make me eager to read more. This masterful way that she weaves plot twists together and keeps people invested in her character’s lives reminds me a lot of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s books.
Despite the good parts to this book, there were two issues I had with the book.
The first one was a lot of the characters seemed autistic coded, but Frankel never addresses this in the story. For a book that deals with how so many hard hitting topics intersect with each other, inserting autism into the equation would’ve led to an even deeper and more complex analysis of adoption. I’m not meaning to say that only one character seemed autistic coded - I mean at least five of the ten main characters (half of them) seemed to have autism. Instead of labeling their autism, these characters are instead defined as quirky, awkward, and weird. This is something I see a lot of media do instead of addressing that characters most likely have autism, so I wasn’t surprised to see it in Family Family. I was disappointed though because I thought this book would’ve been the perfect way to address how autism and adoption can interact with each other.
My other issue with the book is harder to define. It just felt like there was something missing to make me fall in love with the book. It may have been how the book felt way longer than it actually is or it may have been that I was not a huge fan of a lot of the characters. I’m honestly not sure, but I truthfully wanted to love this book more than I actually did. It just felt like that magical, undefineable quality that makes a book feel amazing to me was not in Family Family.
I'd honestly recommend this book to most people because of the many important conversations that the book has, but I know that not everyone will click with this book. At the very least everyone should read a diverse range of adoption stories to see how complex adoption actually is. Whether Family Family is part of that diverse range is entirely up to you.
Thank you to the publisher and Goodreads for this arc of Family Family that I received via a Goodreads giveaway.
It’s hard to rate this book because on the one hand, this book does really great things that will be lifechanging for some people, but on the other hand, it wasn’t perfect. I settled on giving it three stars based on my personal enjoyment level of the book. However, if you haven’t read a positive adoption story or if you have only read books where adoption is viewed as a last resort, please read this book (or one like it.) This book shows that adoption isn’t a walk in the park, but it also shows really well how adoption isn’t always a traumatic event.
I loved how this book dealt with a lot of hard hitting topics. Adoption was obviously the biggest one in the story and I appreciated Laurie Frankel’s unique viewpoint on the topic, especially given her personal history with adoption. I also felt that how Fig and Jack dealt with their trauma was done really well. They each show different ways that childhood trauma effects kids. While I personally related more to Fig with how I deal with trauma, seeing Jack’s reponse was really eye opening for me. The pro-choice plotline was amazing as well. It was written beautifully. It highlighted what the movement is actually for, and what being pro-choice looks like for someone who is pro-choice but doesn’t choose to have an abortion.
I also appreciated how much drama and intrigue was in Family Family. When I would think I figured out what was happening next in the story, Frankel would throw in a new plot twist that would throw me for a loop and make me eager to read more. This masterful way that she weaves plot twists together and keeps people invested in her character’s lives reminds me a lot of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s books.
Despite the good parts to this book, there were two issues I had with the book.
The first one was a lot of the characters seemed autistic coded, but Frankel never addresses this in the story. For a book that deals with how so many hard hitting topics intersect with each other, inserting autism into the equation would’ve led to an even deeper and more complex analysis of adoption. I’m not meaning to say that only one character seemed autistic coded - I mean at least five of the ten main characters (half of them) seemed to have autism. Instead of labeling their autism, these characters are instead defined as quirky, awkward, and weird. This is something I see a lot of media do instead of addressing that characters most likely have autism, so I wasn’t surprised to see it in Family Family. I was disappointed though because I thought this book would’ve been the perfect way to address how autism and adoption can interact with each other.
My other issue with the book is harder to define. It just felt like there was something missing to make me fall in love with the book. It may have been how the book felt way longer than it actually is or it may have been that I was not a huge fan of a lot of the characters. I’m honestly not sure, but I truthfully wanted to love this book more than I actually did. It just felt like that magical, undefineable quality that makes a book feel amazing to me was not in Family Family.
I'd honestly recommend this book to most people because of the many important conversations that the book has, but I know that not everyone will click with this book. At the very least everyone should read a diverse range of adoption stories to see how complex adoption actually is. Whether Family Family is part of that diverse range is entirely up to you.
Thank you to the publisher and Goodreads for this arc of Family Family that I received via a Goodreads giveaway.
January 20, 2024
Once again, adoptive parents voices are at the center of adoption and all narratives therein. While acknowledging adoption trauma, the author simultaneously dismisses it in favor of love without getting a pulse on how the adoptee feels. Adoption ought to center the adoptee, not the adoptive parent who has the most power in the dynamic. Sick of these types of books and movies that erase adoptee experiences and paint them in positive lights, or worse, that the adoptive parent is a savior. The main character is also a birth mother, and that was a poorly represented perspective. Adoptive parents should not be writing books on the adoption experience.
March 10, 2024
What an amazing story!
I always learn so much after finishing a Laurie Frankel novel! This time I learned so much about adoption and how everyone involved in the adaption process (biological parents, adoptive parents, and the child and/or children) are negatively stereotyped.
This is one of those books that will stay with me long after reading and quite possibly be one of my favorites of the year.
I always learn so much after finishing a Laurie Frankel novel! This time I learned so much about adoption and how everyone involved in the adaption process (biological parents, adoptive parents, and the child and/or children) are negatively stereotyped.
This is one of those books that will stay with me long after reading and quite possibly be one of my favorites of the year.
January 24, 2024
Do you remember that Parks and Rec episode where Leslie makes a campaign ad and gets so caught up listing all of the things she’s “pro” she forgets to mention she’s running for city council? Family Family feels a little like 400 pages of that.
Late in the story, a character says: “Just so we understand… you’re pro-children, pro-family, pro-choice, pro-abortion, pro-adoption…” and, well, yes. This novel is pro- everything, but at the cost of nuance, character development, and brevity.
I thought I was going to love this one. It made me cry twice in the first 16%. I highlighted passages and anticipated where it was going. And while the plot progressed, the reflections surrounding it just… went in circles. I wish that Frankel had decided to write some essays on this topic and then write a shorter novel, because I think that sharing everything she wanted to say via dialogue and internal character reflections made this feel less authentic and more like an opinion piece than a novel.
Frankel is clear throughout the novel and in her author’s note that this book was written to show a perspective that is under-represented in adoption literature: one in which adoption is not a tragic last resort nor a miracle. And Family Family does portray a different kind of narrative.
In this story, well-supported and well-resourced young people have the agency to make adoption plans for their children that are not motivated by religious objections or lack of access to safe abortions. They have the knowledge and insight at 16 and 20 to know what kinds of adoptive parents they are looking for. They believe adoption to be a gift to adoptive parents. They choose closed adoptions because they think it’s in the best interest of all involved parties. When we see the futures of the characters, everyone is thriving.
I’ll own my own bias here. I have not personally been impacted by adoption: I am not an adoptive parent, an adoptee, nor am I a birth parent. I am a clinical social worker who has specialized in working with adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents. I've seen lots of ways that families are impacted by adoption. It’s not the same as lived experience. I’ll also own that folks seek out attachment-focused and adoption competent mental health providers for reasons that bias my own perspective. Arguably, I’m also pro-everything on that list. Arguably, I’ve also seen that adoption is a lot more complicated than it’s depicted to be here.
And I’m not arguing for tragic stories about adoption. I’m not. Just nuance. Even if we take India’s experiences at face value, there are other things we almost touch: the ambiguous and disenfranchised grief of biological fathers, and the ambiguous and disenfranchised grief of adoptees who are growing up in safe homes with caring and attentive parents whose motivation adopt was in the best interest of the child. There are glimmers of ambivalence in both of these areas, but even when Frankel raises questions, they’re swallowed by the overwhelming “pro” messaging before they’re fully explored. These questions include what it’s like to parent (or not) after placing a child for adoption (particularly for the birth fathers), or the ways that the adoption story and internal story for adoptees may or may not match when they don’t have access to birth parents in order to ask questions, but are constantly exposed to media portrayals of their birth parent's life. And because there are so many characters in this book impacted by adoption and whose perspectives are explored otherwise, it felt like a conscious decision to not explore these elements of experience.
I’m pretty sure this book is going to be a hit, and it’s not without justification. Frankel has created a story that’s full of heart, enough plot to drive it forward, and precocious characters you root for.
I’m glad that this perspective exists, but please don’t let it be your only perspective. Please listen to reviews of this one from adoptees and birth parents. Please also read other perspectives centering adoptees, and those centering birth parents who didn’t have the privilege and agency that India, Robbie and Davis had. Not every child comes to be adopted because birth parents make that choice unilaterally, or because something objectively horrific happened to them at the hands of their birth parents. Please consider that there’s a lot of grey between the circumstances that led to the different adoptions depicted here, and there are legacies of racism, classism, and ableism that exist in that grey.
Thank you to Henry Holt and Co. for providing a DRC to review.
Late in the story, a character says: “Just so we understand… you’re pro-children, pro-family, pro-choice, pro-abortion, pro-adoption…” and, well, yes. This novel is pro- everything, but at the cost of nuance, character development, and brevity.
I thought I was going to love this one. It made me cry twice in the first 16%. I highlighted passages and anticipated where it was going. And while the plot progressed, the reflections surrounding it just… went in circles. I wish that Frankel had decided to write some essays on this topic and then write a shorter novel, because I think that sharing everything she wanted to say via dialogue and internal character reflections made this feel less authentic and more like an opinion piece than a novel.
Frankel is clear throughout the novel and in her author’s note that this book was written to show a perspective that is under-represented in adoption literature: one in which adoption is not a tragic last resort nor a miracle. And Family Family does portray a different kind of narrative.
In this story, well-supported and well-resourced young people have the agency to make adoption plans for their children that are not motivated by religious objections or lack of access to safe abortions. They have the knowledge and insight at 16 and 20 to know what kinds of adoptive parents they are looking for. They believe adoption to be a gift to adoptive parents. They choose closed adoptions because they think it’s in the best interest of all involved parties. When we see the futures of the characters, everyone is thriving.
I’ll own my own bias here. I have not personally been impacted by adoption: I am not an adoptive parent, an adoptee, nor am I a birth parent. I am a clinical social worker who has specialized in working with adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents. I've seen lots of ways that families are impacted by adoption. It’s not the same as lived experience. I’ll also own that folks seek out attachment-focused and adoption competent mental health providers for reasons that bias my own perspective. Arguably, I’m also pro-everything on that list. Arguably, I’ve also seen that adoption is a lot more complicated than it’s depicted to be here.
And I’m not arguing for tragic stories about adoption. I’m not. Just nuance. Even if we take India’s experiences at face value, there are other things we almost touch: the ambiguous and disenfranchised grief of biological fathers, and the ambiguous and disenfranchised grief of adoptees who are growing up in safe homes with caring and attentive parents whose motivation adopt was in the best interest of the child. There are glimmers of ambivalence in both of these areas, but even when Frankel raises questions, they’re swallowed by the overwhelming “pro” messaging before they’re fully explored. These questions include what it’s like to parent (or not) after placing a child for adoption (particularly for the birth fathers), or the ways that the adoption story and internal story for adoptees may or may not match when they don’t have access to birth parents in order to ask questions, but are constantly exposed to media portrayals of their birth parent's life. And because there are so many characters in this book impacted by adoption and whose perspectives are explored otherwise, it felt like a conscious decision to not explore these elements of experience.
I’m pretty sure this book is going to be a hit, and it’s not without justification. Frankel has created a story that’s full of heart, enough plot to drive it forward, and precocious characters you root for.
I’m glad that this perspective exists, but please don’t let it be your only perspective. Please listen to reviews of this one from adoptees and birth parents. Please also read other perspectives centering adoptees, and those centering birth parents who didn’t have the privilege and agency that India, Robbie and Davis had. Not every child comes to be adopted because birth parents make that choice unilaterally, or because something objectively horrific happened to them at the hands of their birth parents. Please consider that there’s a lot of grey between the circumstances that led to the different adoptions depicted here, and there are legacies of racism, classism, and ableism that exist in that grey.
Thank you to Henry Holt and Co. for providing a DRC to review.
January 3, 2024
I am an adoptive parent so the premise of this novel interested me right away! It tells the story of India Allwood a famous actress and adoptive mother who finds herself in a mess of trouble when she voices her opinion on her new movie, about what else…adoption! India is tired of the same old take on movies involving adoption: tragedy, pain and regret. Not all adoption stories are tragedies. “Why don’t we ever get that movie?” India asks.
The novel is told in a dual timeline as we follow India in present day and as she grows through her teenage years to the present. I enjoyed following her rise to stardom despite (or perhaps because of) two challenging life events and the people she meets along the way. The characters were interesting and the dialogue fun! The setting is both the NYC theatre world and Hollywood which kept me intrigued. The novel does challenge many preconceived notions of adoption and addresses the process quite well I think. It looks at what makes family family, and I could relate to so much of the story line. Frankel writes from experience as she is an adoptive parent herself and did a really great job of giving depth and emotion to all involved in the process; from adopters, birthmothers, the adoptees, and birthfathers who are often left out of the process altogether. I found their perspectives especially enlightening. I think anyone curious about or involved in some way with adoption would enjoy this novel as would those who like a story about family dynamics told through an honest and open outlook with warmth and humor. Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt Co. for the chance to read Family Family.
The novel is told in a dual timeline as we follow India in present day and as she grows through her teenage years to the present. I enjoyed following her rise to stardom despite (or perhaps because of) two challenging life events and the people she meets along the way. The characters were interesting and the dialogue fun! The setting is both the NYC theatre world and Hollywood which kept me intrigued. The novel does challenge many preconceived notions of adoption and addresses the process quite well I think. It looks at what makes family family, and I could relate to so much of the story line. Frankel writes from experience as she is an adoptive parent herself and did a really great job of giving depth and emotion to all involved in the process; from adopters, birthmothers, the adoptees, and birthfathers who are often left out of the process altogether. I found their perspectives especially enlightening. I think anyone curious about or involved in some way with adoption would enjoy this novel as would those who like a story about family dynamics told through an honest and open outlook with warmth and humor. Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt Co. for the chance to read Family Family.
February 15, 2024
2/7 I am an adoptive parent (AP) and have been in the adoption world now for twenty years. When I first entered this world I was naive and ignorant and didn't understand a lot about the issues involved in adoption. But in the last two decades, I have learned so much. I've spent a lot of time in adoption-focused groups and given some thought to some issue related to adoption every single day throughout these last twenty years.
During that time, in these adoption groups, I've encountered a lot of people - especially APs, who, for whatever reason, refuse to engage and learn. They have varying degrees of a "rainbows and roses" vision of adoption issues on matters involving all parts of the adoption triangle (that is, 'birth mothers' (aka first mothers, biological mothers, genetic mothers), adoptees, and APs. Some APs are extremely dedicated to preserving their 'rainbows and roses' view of adoption. Whenever their views are questioned or probed in any way they will either leave the group, or fight for a while and then leave. Sometimes they go off and start their own groups and only allow others who share the rainbows and roses viewpoint to join. Sometimes they veer into vilifying birth mothers. Occasionally they glorify birth mothers. They often dismiss the viewpoints of adoptees. Adoptees are frequently written off as simply "angry" or they had some kind of unusually bad experience, or they're blaming too much on adoption. Sometimes the adoptee's APs are acknowledged to be bad or harmful, but sometimes not. There's not a lot of room for nuance -- it can be hard for these APs to allow for the fact that many adoptees have conflicting feelings. They love their APs and adoptive family, they had good childhoods, they are happy about many things. Yet they still have a yearning for their original families, feel disconnections from their adoptive families, and may have issues with identity and abandonment.
Basically, there are a lot of APs who are fighting a full-time battle to insist that adoption is a wonderful, beautiful thing.
And APs have all the power, most of the money, and control a lot of the narrative surrounding adoption.
Which brings me to why I got this book.
I was perusing my Book of the Month offerings and saw this new novel by Laurie Frankel. I knew this was going to have a lot of buzz, because her previous book, This is How it Always Is had a lot of buzz. I was among the minority of people who really disliked that book. I did like how it was a positive story of a trans child that wasn't focused on a tragedy. But I couldn't stand the family. The children were all extremely precocious and precious. To the point of unbelievability. Too many things didn't seem plausible or rational. And the dialogue was just not believable. One of my immediate disappointments in this book was that these characters are exactly the same way. The 10-year-olds are too precocious. I really don't like the personalities of any of the characters. They're just annoying. And the way they speak is like they're speaking to impress. They think they're better than most people - and I get this feeling because when they talk, they are not talking to communicate succinctly and clearly. They're talking to show how many big words they know and to create complexity from simplicity. They talk in ways that divert from the subject matter about which they are speaking, rather than to enhance it. One example: Teen tells mom she's pregnant. Says she has a plan. Response is as follows:
MOM: "And how are you going to execute this plan?"
TEEN: "Execute?"
MOM: "Yes, a plan suggests a detailed proposal addressing all necessary steps and eventualities between one's current state - pregnant and admitted to college -- and one's goal state -- childless and enrolled."
Please. I would bet pretty much anything that no conversation between a parent and a pregnant teen has ever gone anything like this.
But, back to how I decided to read this book.
As I said, I was perusing BOTM and saw this book. I noted that it had an adoption theme. Hmmmm. That's always sus. [BTW: "Sus" is some Gen Z lingo that this Gen X'er finds very useful]. Anyway, it's sus. Because if it's written by an AP, there is a pretty high likelihood it's furthering the AP narrative, which we don't really need. We already have plenty of that. Then I see that the theme of this book is "Not all stories of adoption are stories of pain and regret. Not even most of them. Why don't we ever get that movie?"
Huh?
That's like, almost ALL the mainstream stories of adoption. We get that all the time. WTF is she talking about?
So I got this book, thinking I might give it a hate-read and point out the problems. I was hoping though, to be pleasantly surprised. I truly would love a mainstream novel that gets the complexity of adoption and explains those to the masses. Because mainstream society who has never had any reason to contemplate adoption thinks it's great. It's thought of as a 'win win.' This narrative has triumphed over the last several decades, through an almost over-compensation from the olden days where adoption was shameful. There are many societies and parts of our society that value a bloodline most of all, so adopting a child is almost nonsensical. Add in our societal shame and hangups about sex and women's roles, and you get all the conditions for exploitation and oppression and all kinds of other bad things. When women were (and still are, in too many sectors of our society) only used for breeding, if a woman couldn't become pregnant, that was shameful. If a man could not impregnate his wife, that was shameful. It would lead to questioning his masculinity. So if you couldn't have children, you were 'less than.' Or maybe God was punishing you. You must be bad somehow. And people, especially girls, were not allowed to have premarital sex. And oof -- the worst evidence that you had done so -- if you became pregnant, well, that was ripe for the highest level of shame. No one must ever know any of this. This led to all kinds of terrible problems, but essentially, the marketplace formed for bringing these "unwanted" babies (who usually were, in fact, very wanted once they were born, even if the pregnancy was unplanned) to respectable married couples who didn't want anyone to know they weren't able to do their duty or were failures in their respective male/female roles. A "bastard" child was damned from the start, so the best thing was to cover that up. Pretend the child was the 'natural born' child of this poor childless married couple. Some people even go so far as to decide that this was actually God's plan -- that rather than just having the woman become pregnant and have a baby, he thought it was better that someone else become pregnant, endure a pregnancy and childbirth, and then remove that baby and give it to these other people. Really strange plan for a God who has too much time on his hands, and does things like this rather than, say, cure cancer or stop wars.
While everyone was trying to work their way out of this huge pile of shame, there was a lot of work that went into changing the narrative surrounding adoption -- that it was not shameful, but that it was a beautiful thing. It should be celebrated, not hidden.
Now that we've reached the 21st century, this changing of the narrative has been wildly successful. It's a positive that we've lessened some of the shame and stigma, because those things certainly need to go away. But the narrative has tipped into making adoption seem very positive. We see "Orphan Sunday" and this drive by right-wing Christians to "save" the children (for Jesus, as always). We see lefties viewing adoption as a way to save the earth -- why add to the population? Take care of children who are already here. We see people who just don't want to be pregnant. We see people who can't get pregnant. We have LGBTQ+ marriages now, where many couples (especially male couples) don't really have any options other than adoption or surrogacy. And we see people who want to adopt because they see it as a good thing to do (which veers dangerously close to saviorism, which is a huge problem in the adoption world.). All of this has led to extreme excess demand, which in turn, has led to all kinds of coercion and corruption. So when I see people who are still touting the narrative that adoption is a great thing to be celebrated, I wonder why they feel the need to push this. (Often I think it is tied to a person's unresolved issues surrounding infertility and their need to convince themselves that adoption is not only a good thing, but the best thing you could do, and their choice needs to be infinitely celebrated. They need to overcome any grief or longing in themselves for a genetically-linked child.)
So, the book arrived. I see that Laurie Frankel is indeed an AP. As far as I can find she is neither an adoptee nor a birth mother. Upon starting this book, I also see that she's got a lot of the lingo down. She is familiar with some of the issues and the arguments. She's clearly been in some adoption groups. What I'm seeing, though, is that she's setting up a rebuttal. I feel like this entire book is a straw man argument.
The setup: The main character is BOTH an adoptive mom AND a birth mother. She makes a movie about adoption and this movie is criticized by adoptee groups. Aha! The way to get in all those silly arguments Frankel sees in the adoption groups. Here, she's able to rebut those arguments without anyone pushing back. The main character, India, doesn't have the "lived experience" to talk about birth mothers. Begone adoptee- and birth mother-focused arguments! Those people making those arguments don't know what they're talking about! (She and her 10 year olds coin them "dwebs" because they're dweebs on the web. [How do I insert an eyeroll emoji?]) Because even though Frankel isn't a birth mother, she has created a main character who IS. Genius! This made-up birth mother can prove that being a birth mother is not traumatic. This is the trump card Frankel has needed. At this point, I'm pretty sure I know who Frankel is. She's stayed in the adoption groups long enough to learn the lingo, see the arguments, and memorize the statements from adoptees and birth mothers. She's either been chastized in these groups or has been smart enough to keep quiet and just watch the discussions play out. She'll get her say. She's going to write a novel and show them all they are wrong, or that their experiences are only theirs and in no way universal or even broadly applicable.
In addition, there are some weird things:
- The main character (India) is a famous actress with 10-year-old twins whom she adopted. She also has a child that she relinquished for adoption when she was 16. That child is now 16. While I was reading, I was distracted -- some quick math -- 16-10.... 6 years. 16 (maybe 17) + 6 = 22 (maybe 23). So.... she then ADOPTED TWO children when she was only 22 years old???? As a single mom? How TF does this happen? Even if she is a wildly successful actress who gets almost unprecedented early success upon college graduation, why and how does she adopt twins at that age? Many adoption avenues won't even let that happen for someone that young. We do later find out more information, but it isn't satisfying.
- We also see India, in earlier times, as a high school senior who gets into college. She gets pregnant. She is so happy to get into the college she wants that she decides she wants to 'make someone else's dream come true'. -- some "deserving" couple unable to have children and who desperately want one. But then she chooses a single woman, who apparently could become pregnant but chooses not to. Kind of seems incongruous with her original rationale, regardless of how nonsensical or stupid that rationale is.
- India further states that she wants to give up the baby to another couple to get more 'family,' because her family is very small, yet she decides she wants a completely closed adoption with no contact of any kind, ever. So, how does that situation create more family for her?
- In a totally stupid and not believable manner, India's adopted kids
- Suddenly on page 87 we're told that the adopted kids are "at least half Korean." Really. Well, they're not adopted from Korea (like Frankel's child), probably because Korea did not allow single people who were 26 years old to adopt. And now we've got the interracial aspect thrown in that creates even more complexity in adoption.
- makes somewhat more sense and is a tad more realistic, although Frankel still takes great pains to make this a "perfect" situation where the birthmother has almost no trauma. In fact, Frankel specifically throws in all the issues surrounding many of the exceedingly common issues with birth mothers -- poor financial circumstances, little support, coercion in relinquishing, etc., and turns them on their head to make India angry and resentful at even these allegations. I don't like this trick -- again, this further supports my hunch that this whole book is written as some kind of rebuttal to the issues brought up in adoption groups, and Frankel creates this imaginary birth mother to show that not all birth mothers experience these unsavory practices.
- Then we get this bizarre pro-life gathering or rally in front of India's house when the news gets out that she, a famous actress, relinquished for adoption. When India has never made any anti-choice statements or expressed any support for any anti-choice policies, politicians or laws. While this would be some evidence they could use to help their cause, I don't think the pro-life groups are stupid enough to not only assume she'd support their cause, but to become an advocate for them on this basis alone. Might they ask her? Sure. But I'm certain they wouldn't assume, and I'm even more certain they wouldn't form a rally in front of her house on this basis.
More broadly, the idea that there would really be a significant dustup regarding India's comments or actions surrounding adoption is far-fetched. I can certainly see a situation where adoptee groups would object to her portrayal of adoption in a movie -- I've seen this happen. Sadly, though, this would not get much traction more broadly in society. There just isn't enough empathy or understanding regarding the issues in adoption in the general public. It's a little more possible there could be a larger dustup surrounding abortion, but without her making any kind of concrete statement regarding any of the issues, I also have a hard time buying this would be some kind of career-killer. Look at Patricia Heaton - she is pro-life and has spoken out widely on the issue. Her career seems just fine.
Here's an example of a statement from India's agent (who is not portrayed as connected to adoption at all) in a conversation that just would never happen outside of an adoption group: "The pro-life mob is angry you're pro-choice. The pro-choice mob is angry you're advocating adoption. The adoptee advocates are angry you're not acknowledging their trauma. The adoption advocates are angry you're downplaying the inequities in the system and the lasting emotional and psychological pain on all sides." That is a synopsis of many conversations that take place in online adoption groups. This conversation would never happen or catch fire in our broader society. It just wouldn't.
So, in the end, this is a story of a strong, capable woman who decides to become this benevolent baby machine and suffers no trauma or regret whatsoever. In fact, her relinquishing not only benefitted her but led to her wild success in life -- multiple times over. This is a nice fantasy and this is what every adoptive parent wants to believe. But sadly, this is an uncommon scenario. At best, most birth mothers are deeply traumatized by having relinquished, and it lasts for the rest of their lives, even if they have made peace with the decision (which may not even have been theirs.).
There are also way too many unbelievable scenarios that just would never happen. I'm sometimes criticized for being too hard on novels, because if a story purports to take place in the real world, it's REALLY important to me that it be accurate and realistic.
During that time, in these adoption groups, I've encountered a lot of people - especially APs, who, for whatever reason, refuse to engage and learn. They have varying degrees of a "rainbows and roses" vision of adoption issues on matters involving all parts of the adoption triangle (that is, 'birth mothers' (aka first mothers, biological mothers, genetic mothers), adoptees, and APs. Some APs are extremely dedicated to preserving their 'rainbows and roses' view of adoption. Whenever their views are questioned or probed in any way they will either leave the group, or fight for a while and then leave. Sometimes they go off and start their own groups and only allow others who share the rainbows and roses viewpoint to join. Sometimes they veer into vilifying birth mothers. Occasionally they glorify birth mothers. They often dismiss the viewpoints of adoptees. Adoptees are frequently written off as simply "angry" or they had some kind of unusually bad experience, or they're blaming too much on adoption. Sometimes the adoptee's APs are acknowledged to be bad or harmful, but sometimes not. There's not a lot of room for nuance -- it can be hard for these APs to allow for the fact that many adoptees have conflicting feelings. They love their APs and adoptive family, they had good childhoods, they are happy about many things. Yet they still have a yearning for their original families, feel disconnections from their adoptive families, and may have issues with identity and abandonment.
Basically, there are a lot of APs who are fighting a full-time battle to insist that adoption is a wonderful, beautiful thing.
And APs have all the power, most of the money, and control a lot of the narrative surrounding adoption.
Which brings me to why I got this book.
I was perusing my Book of the Month offerings and saw this new novel by Laurie Frankel. I knew this was going to have a lot of buzz, because her previous book, This is How it Always Is had a lot of buzz. I was among the minority of people who really disliked that book. I did like how it was a positive story of a trans child that wasn't focused on a tragedy. But I couldn't stand the family. The children were all extremely precocious and precious. To the point of unbelievability. Too many things didn't seem plausible or rational. And the dialogue was just not believable. One of my immediate disappointments in this book was that these characters are exactly the same way. The 10-year-olds are too precocious. I really don't like the personalities of any of the characters. They're just annoying. And the way they speak is like they're speaking to impress. They think they're better than most people - and I get this feeling because when they talk, they are not talking to communicate succinctly and clearly. They're talking to show how many big words they know and to create complexity from simplicity. They talk in ways that divert from the subject matter about which they are speaking, rather than to enhance it. One example: Teen tells mom she's pregnant. Says she has a plan. Response is as follows:
MOM: "And how are you going to execute this plan?"
TEEN: "Execute?"
MOM: "Yes, a plan suggests a detailed proposal addressing all necessary steps and eventualities between one's current state - pregnant and admitted to college -- and one's goal state -- childless and enrolled."
Please. I would bet pretty much anything that no conversation between a parent and a pregnant teen has ever gone anything like this.
But, back to how I decided to read this book.
As I said, I was perusing BOTM and saw this book. I noted that it had an adoption theme. Hmmmm. That's always sus. [BTW: "Sus" is some Gen Z lingo that this Gen X'er finds very useful]. Anyway, it's sus. Because if it's written by an AP, there is a pretty high likelihood it's furthering the AP narrative, which we don't really need. We already have plenty of that. Then I see that the theme of this book is "Not all stories of adoption are stories of pain and regret. Not even most of them. Why don't we ever get that movie?"
Huh?
That's like, almost ALL the mainstream stories of adoption. We get that all the time. WTF is she talking about?
So I got this book, thinking I might give it a hate-read and point out the problems. I was hoping though, to be pleasantly surprised. I truly would love a mainstream novel that gets the complexity of adoption and explains those to the masses. Because mainstream society who has never had any reason to contemplate adoption thinks it's great. It's thought of as a 'win win.' This narrative has triumphed over the last several decades, through an almost over-compensation from the olden days where adoption was shameful. There are many societies and parts of our society that value a bloodline most of all, so adopting a child is almost nonsensical. Add in our societal shame and hangups about sex and women's roles, and you get all the conditions for exploitation and oppression and all kinds of other bad things. When women were (and still are, in too many sectors of our society) only used for breeding, if a woman couldn't become pregnant, that was shameful. If a man could not impregnate his wife, that was shameful. It would lead to questioning his masculinity. So if you couldn't have children, you were 'less than.' Or maybe God was punishing you. You must be bad somehow. And people, especially girls, were not allowed to have premarital sex. And oof -- the worst evidence that you had done so -- if you became pregnant, well, that was ripe for the highest level of shame. No one must ever know any of this. This led to all kinds of terrible problems, but essentially, the marketplace formed for bringing these "unwanted" babies (who usually were, in fact, very wanted once they were born, even if the pregnancy was unplanned) to respectable married couples who didn't want anyone to know they weren't able to do their duty or were failures in their respective male/female roles. A "bastard" child was damned from the start, so the best thing was to cover that up. Pretend the child was the 'natural born' child of this poor childless married couple. Some people even go so far as to decide that this was actually God's plan -- that rather than just having the woman become pregnant and have a baby, he thought it was better that someone else become pregnant, endure a pregnancy and childbirth, and then remove that baby and give it to these other people. Really strange plan for a God who has too much time on his hands, and does things like this rather than, say, cure cancer or stop wars.
While everyone was trying to work their way out of this huge pile of shame, there was a lot of work that went into changing the narrative surrounding adoption -- that it was not shameful, but that it was a beautiful thing. It should be celebrated, not hidden.
Now that we've reached the 21st century, this changing of the narrative has been wildly successful. It's a positive that we've lessened some of the shame and stigma, because those things certainly need to go away. But the narrative has tipped into making adoption seem very positive. We see "Orphan Sunday" and this drive by right-wing Christians to "save" the children (for Jesus, as always). We see lefties viewing adoption as a way to save the earth -- why add to the population? Take care of children who are already here. We see people who just don't want to be pregnant. We see people who can't get pregnant. We have LGBTQ+ marriages now, where many couples (especially male couples) don't really have any options other than adoption or surrogacy. And we see people who want to adopt because they see it as a good thing to do (which veers dangerously close to saviorism, which is a huge problem in the adoption world.). All of this has led to extreme excess demand, which in turn, has led to all kinds of coercion and corruption. So when I see people who are still touting the narrative that adoption is a great thing to be celebrated, I wonder why they feel the need to push this. (Often I think it is tied to a person's unresolved issues surrounding infertility and their need to convince themselves that adoption is not only a good thing, but the best thing you could do, and their choice needs to be infinitely celebrated. They need to overcome any grief or longing in themselves for a genetically-linked child.)
So, the book arrived. I see that Laurie Frankel is indeed an AP. As far as I can find she is neither an adoptee nor a birth mother. Upon starting this book, I also see that she's got a lot of the lingo down. She is familiar with some of the issues and the arguments. She's clearly been in some adoption groups. What I'm seeing, though, is that she's setting up a rebuttal. I feel like this entire book is a straw man argument.
The setup: The main character is BOTH an adoptive mom AND a birth mother. She makes a movie about adoption and this movie is criticized by adoptee groups. Aha! The way to get in all those silly arguments Frankel sees in the adoption groups. Here, she's able to rebut those arguments without anyone pushing back. The main character, India, doesn't have the "lived experience" to talk about birth mothers. Begone adoptee- and birth mother-focused arguments! Those people making those arguments don't know what they're talking about! (She and her 10 year olds coin them "dwebs" because they're dweebs on the web. [How do I insert an eyeroll emoji?]) Because even though Frankel isn't a birth mother, she has created a main character who IS. Genius! This made-up birth mother can prove that being a birth mother is not traumatic. This is the trump card Frankel has needed. At this point, I'm pretty sure I know who Frankel is. She's stayed in the adoption groups long enough to learn the lingo, see the arguments, and memorize the statements from adoptees and birth mothers. She's either been chastized in these groups or has been smart enough to keep quiet and just watch the discussions play out. She'll get her say. She's going to write a novel and show them all they are wrong, or that their experiences are only theirs and in no way universal or even broadly applicable.
In addition, there are some weird things:
- The main character (India) is a famous actress with 10-year-old twins whom she adopted. She also has a child that she relinquished for adoption when she was 16. That child is now 16. While I was reading, I was distracted -- some quick math -- 16-10.... 6 years. 16 (maybe 17) + 6 = 22 (maybe 23). So.... she then ADOPTED TWO children when she was only 22 years old???? As a single mom? How TF does this happen? Even if she is a wildly successful actress who gets almost unprecedented early success upon college graduation, why and how does she adopt twins at that age? Many adoption avenues won't even let that happen for someone that young. We do later find out more information, but it isn't satisfying.
- We also see India, in earlier times, as a high school senior who gets into college. She gets pregnant. She is so happy to get into the college she wants that she decides she wants to 'make someone else's dream come true'. -- some "deserving" couple unable to have children and who desperately want one. But then she chooses a single woman, who apparently could become pregnant but chooses not to. Kind of seems incongruous with her original rationale, regardless of how nonsensical or stupid that rationale is.
- India further states that she wants to give up the baby to another couple to get more 'family,' because her family is very small, yet she decides she wants a completely closed adoption with no contact of any kind, ever. So, how does that situation create more family for her?
- In a totally stupid and not believable manner, India's adopted kids
- Suddenly on page 87 we're told that the adopted kids are "at least half Korean." Really. Well, they're not adopted from Korea (like Frankel's child), probably because Korea did not allow single people who were 26 years old to adopt. And now we've got the interracial aspect thrown in that creates even more complexity in adoption.
- makes somewhat more sense and is a tad more realistic, although Frankel still takes great pains to make this a "perfect" situation where the birthmother has almost no trauma. In fact, Frankel specifically throws in all the issues surrounding many of the exceedingly common issues with birth mothers -- poor financial circumstances, little support, coercion in relinquishing, etc., and turns them on their head to make India angry and resentful at even these allegations. I don't like this trick -- again, this further supports my hunch that this whole book is written as some kind of rebuttal to the issues brought up in adoption groups, and Frankel creates this imaginary birth mother to show that not all birth mothers experience these unsavory practices.
- Then we get this bizarre pro-life gathering or rally in front of India's house when the news gets out that she, a famous actress, relinquished for adoption. When India has never made any anti-choice statements or expressed any support for any anti-choice policies, politicians or laws. While this would be some evidence they could use to help their cause, I don't think the pro-life groups are stupid enough to not only assume she'd support their cause, but to become an advocate for them on this basis alone. Might they ask her? Sure. But I'm certain they wouldn't assume, and I'm even more certain they wouldn't form a rally in front of her house on this basis.
More broadly, the idea that there would really be a significant dustup regarding India's comments or actions surrounding adoption is far-fetched. I can certainly see a situation where adoptee groups would object to her portrayal of adoption in a movie -- I've seen this happen. Sadly, though, this would not get much traction more broadly in society. There just isn't enough empathy or understanding regarding the issues in adoption in the general public. It's a little more possible there could be a larger dustup surrounding abortion, but without her making any kind of concrete statement regarding any of the issues, I also have a hard time buying this would be some kind of career-killer. Look at Patricia Heaton - she is pro-life and has spoken out widely on the issue. Her career seems just fine.
Here's an example of a statement from India's agent (who is not portrayed as connected to adoption at all) in a conversation that just would never happen outside of an adoption group: "The pro-life mob is angry you're pro-choice. The pro-choice mob is angry you're advocating adoption. The adoptee advocates are angry you're not acknowledging their trauma. The adoption advocates are angry you're downplaying the inequities in the system and the lasting emotional and psychological pain on all sides." That is a synopsis of many conversations that take place in online adoption groups. This conversation would never happen or catch fire in our broader society. It just wouldn't.
So, in the end, this is a story of a strong, capable woman who decides to become this benevolent baby machine and suffers no trauma or regret whatsoever. In fact, her relinquishing not only benefitted her but led to her wild success in life -- multiple times over. This is a nice fantasy and this is what every adoptive parent wants to believe. But sadly, this is an uncommon scenario. At best, most birth mothers are deeply traumatized by having relinquished, and it lasts for the rest of their lives, even if they have made peace with the decision (which may not even have been theirs.).
There are also way too many unbelievable scenarios that just would never happen. I'm sometimes criticized for being too hard on novels, because if a story purports to take place in the real world, it's REALLY important to me that it be accurate and realistic.
February 8, 2024
Laurie Frankel has done it again. Every book I read of hers gives a fresh perspective on family, and this is no exception. This book follows India Allwood, who makes the decision to place her baby for adoption. She does so with the support of her mother and boyfriend, with the freedom of choice, deciding it is the best thing for her and her baby.
India’s dream of becoming a successful actor becomes true, but after appearing in a movie about the trauma of adoption, she makes comments to the press that leave many angry. For her, adoption and the families created are positive. Messy and complicated like all families… but not a lesser option.
The author mixes the past and present timelines effortlessly, so that you come to love India and all the people in her life. The characters are rich and dimensional, flawed and beautifully sweet. By the end the pieces of the puzzle fit together in such a satisfying way. Topped off by an epilogue by the author. I am such a fan of this author and how she writes about families.
India’s dream of becoming a successful actor becomes true, but after appearing in a movie about the trauma of adoption, she makes comments to the press that leave many angry. For her, adoption and the families created are positive. Messy and complicated like all families… but not a lesser option.
The author mixes the past and present timelines effortlessly, so that you come to love India and all the people in her life. The characters are rich and dimensional, flawed and beautifully sweet. By the end the pieces of the puzzle fit together in such a satisfying way. Topped off by an epilogue by the author. I am such a fan of this author and how she writes about families.
June 11, 2024
A clever and intelligent homage to the family in all its beauty and messiness. But for a few places where i either had to suspend belief or wait for the messaging to pass by, I would have given 5 stars. If you loved The Guncle you will love this one….
April 5, 2024
I wasn’t expecting to love this so much! My social worker heart is so full after reading this endearing story about motherhood, adoption, and found family. Mix The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (but make it about motherhood) and The People We Keep together, and Family Family would be the result.
July 16, 2023
You know those kinds of books where you are like, “let me just read one more chapter,” well, it was that kind of book. So good! Laugh out loud funny with witty banter between the strong characters and relationships, well-paced, thought-provoking on the important topic of adoption (a refreshing viewpoint), clever, and easy to read! My fave yet by Laurie Frankel! A standing ovation from me for sure! 9.75/10.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Company for the advanced reader’s copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Company for the advanced reader’s copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
January 23, 2024
Family Family is the story of India Allwood, a 32 year old actress who is an adoptive mother to ten year old fraternal twins. While promoting her latest film she inadvertently becomes the subject of a tabloid scandal.
Despite this novel's promising premise, loving previous books by Frankel, as well as her easy reading, often comedic, lighthearted writing style, I just could not connect with this book. I get what Frankel is trying to do here - and appreciate it - that adoption isn't always a traumatic or shameful event - it just doesn't work for me.
The book seems to dismiss the fact that tragedy and trauma often do occur with adoption. The novel is told entirely from one positive point of view. The trauma that is shown is largely glossed over in favor of a story filled with rainbows, lollipops, and rays of sunshine positivity.
It's also highly unrealistic. While I'm willing to suspend my disbelief for a lot of things, I just couldn't here, it was too much.
The author's portrayal of the characters, particularly India's is hugely disappointing. It's not true to life. There's no real emotion shown behind her thought process regarding her decisions. While the author is an adoptive mother, she is neither an adoptee or a birth mother. She can't really speak to how either would actually feel. (For context, I talked with a family member of my own who placed a baby for adoption at that age.)
I know a lot of people will enjoy this book and that I'm in the minority on this one.
Thank you to Henry Holt & Company, Laurie Frankel, and Netgalley for an advance digital copy. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and given voluntarily.
2 Stars
Recommended for readers of:
General Fiction, Women's Fiction, Contemporary Fiction, Family Fiction, Book Club Reads
Despite this novel's promising premise, loving previous books by Frankel, as well as her easy reading, often comedic, lighthearted writing style, I just could not connect with this book. I get what Frankel is trying to do here - and appreciate it - that adoption isn't always a traumatic or shameful event - it just doesn't work for me.
The book seems to dismiss the fact that tragedy and trauma often do occur with adoption. The novel is told entirely from one positive point of view. The trauma that is shown is largely glossed over in favor of a story filled with rainbows, lollipops, and rays of sunshine positivity.
It's also highly unrealistic. While I'm willing to suspend my disbelief for a lot of things, I just couldn't here, it was too much.
The author's portrayal of the characters, particularly India's is hugely disappointing. It's not true to life. There's no real emotion shown behind her thought process regarding her decisions. While the author is an adoptive mother, she is neither an adoptee or a birth mother. She can't really speak to how either would actually feel. (For context, I talked with a family member of my own who placed a baby for adoption at that age.)
I know a lot of people will enjoy this book and that I'm in the minority on this one.
Thank you to Henry Holt & Company, Laurie Frankel, and Netgalley for an advance digital copy. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and given voluntarily.
2 Stars
Recommended for readers of:
General Fiction, Women's Fiction, Contemporary Fiction, Family Fiction, Book Club Reads
January 29, 2024
“Not all stories of adoption are stories of pain and regret. Not even most of them. Why don’t we ever get that movie?”
This beautiful novel explores family … adoption being at the forefront of the complicated, heart-wrenching, endless love and emotional journey that affects everyone involved. Frankel makes her poignant position, that children are “placed” not given up for adoption - that not every adoption story is one wrapped up in tragedy.
This utterly brilliant novel will leave you with all the feels! The messy, the beautiful, the complicated and everything in between. I just want this review to say READ IT, just read it! You can thank me later 😉
Have plenty of tissues handy and don’t skip the Author’s note - have more tissues at hand!
🎧 Beautifully narrated by Disney Princess @pattimurin 👸
This beautiful novel explores family … adoption being at the forefront of the complicated, heart-wrenching, endless love and emotional journey that affects everyone involved. Frankel makes her poignant position, that children are “placed” not given up for adoption - that not every adoption story is one wrapped up in tragedy.
This utterly brilliant novel will leave you with all the feels! The messy, the beautiful, the complicated and everything in between. I just want this review to say READ IT, just read it! You can thank me later 😉
Have plenty of tissues handy and don’t skip the Author’s note - have more tissues at hand!
🎧 Beautifully narrated by Disney Princess @pattimurin 👸
August 14, 2023
India Allwood is one of a kind. She's a well known TV start and just hoping to launch a movie career when aspects of her teenage life are brought to life. They aren't secrets, but they weren't broadcast and suddenly India finds herself in a public position of discussing choice, adoption and more.
This story is just so beautiful, so happy. As the book bounces from character to character we piece together India's childhood and the lives of her children. It's truly a patchwork of stories that comes together to be a quilt you will never forget.
Laurie Frankel illustrates again and again that family comes in all shapes and sizes and India is an inspiration to us all
Pick up this wondrous book! .
#HenryHolt #FamilyFamily #laurieFrankel
This story is just so beautiful, so happy. As the book bounces from character to character we piece together India's childhood and the lives of her children. It's truly a patchwork of stories that comes together to be a quilt you will never forget.
Laurie Frankel illustrates again and again that family comes in all shapes and sizes and India is an inspiration to us all
Pick up this wondrous book! .
#HenryHolt #FamilyFamily #laurieFrankel
February 29, 2024
I did not enjoy reading this book - it started well, but India grated on my nerves, and although I could believe one teenage pregnancy it was difficult to believe she found herself in the same situation 4 years later. The ending with all the affected parties coming together seemed very contrived. It also got under my skin that India's decision about pregnancy and adoption were from a very entitled viewpoint. I guess the plot and circumstances of the the story did not sit well with me.
February 1, 2024
"This Is How It Always Is" by Laurie Frankel is one of my favourite books! I was super excited to hear about her new novel "Family Family".
This story focuses on adoption depicted from different types of families. Told in multiple timelines and POV's, it is easy to follow.
This book is about love, parenting and more specifically adoptive family relationships.
Told in a positive light I was captivated by this heartfelt story on what makes a family.
Wonderful narration by Patti Murin.
The audiobook includes an author's note read by the author and a conversation between the author and Audie Award-winning narrator Patti Murin.
Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for an advanced copy of this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
This story focuses on adoption depicted from different types of families. Told in multiple timelines and POV's, it is easy to follow.
This book is about love, parenting and more specifically adoptive family relationships.
Told in a positive light I was captivated by this heartfelt story on what makes a family.
Wonderful narration by Patti Murin.
The audiobook includes an author's note read by the author and a conversation between the author and Audie Award-winning narrator Patti Murin.
Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for an advanced copy of this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
June 10, 2024
"Family Family" is a contemporary book about adoption filled with humor, happiness, sadness, and warmth. Actress India Allwood just starred in a movie about a drug-addicted mother giving up a baby for adoption. But she felt that most adoptions don't have the tragedy behind them pictured in the movie. India is a woman with two adopted children. She also knows what it's like to be a teenager with an unplanned pregnancy. The story explores what makes a family from many points of view--and how it's complicated.
This is a heartfelt story full of characters to care about. The reader does have to suspend disbelief that everything in the plot could ever happen to one extended family. However, Laurie Frankel is an adoptive mother herself and a good storyteller who wrote a thoughtful and entertaining book. 3.5 stars, rounded up.
This is a heartfelt story full of characters to care about. The reader does have to suspend disbelief that everything in the plot could ever happen to one extended family. However, Laurie Frankel is an adoptive mother herself and a good storyteller who wrote a thoughtful and entertaining book. 3.5 stars, rounded up.
Read
June 28, 2024I liked this one. The pacing worked for me as well as the plot twists spooling out without feeling tooooo over the top.
July 22, 2023
I haven't read such a good book in a while! I liked everything about this one -- the writing, the plot, the characters. India Allwood is a famous actress whose family secrets are exposed, causing her to come to a reckoning about what family truly is.
Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Co. for the ARC.
Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Co. for the ARC.
January 22, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC! Family Family is a kind story about adoption, relationships, and a woman's coming-of-age while all throughout being a mother. Unfortunately, the heart of this book ends up completely buried beneath a mass of unconvincing characters and ineffectual dialogue, to the extent that the narrative came off more like an affectation of sincerity with everything else as accessory.
Family Family's sentiments drown in a surplus of characters and backstories — most of them unnecessary and vacuous in depth — and incessant dialogue that feels equally purposeless. As a result, Frankel suffocates its reader in a claustrophobic attempt to convey its message, which all in all delivers nothing truly profound or introspective to gain. I think that's the central issue with the story; the narrative is so unsubtle and in-your-face that it leaves zero room for actual contemplation for the reader.
It might have been mistake on my part having never read Frankel's work before, but this feels more like an airport book to fill the time rather than a novel that truly speaks. And while Frankel's intentions and passions in illustrating an unconventional yet nonetheless wonderful family is evident, so much of its body is lost in execution. Reading Frankel's writing felt almost like eating a bowl of cornflakes: all content yet no substance. That's not to say that there's no conviction in this book, because there is. So much love sits in this plot, and yet the amount of pages dedicated to it feels unequal to a story that only seems to be lacking.
Family Family's sentiments drown in a surplus of characters and backstories — most of them unnecessary and vacuous in depth — and incessant dialogue that feels equally purposeless. As a result, Frankel suffocates its reader in a claustrophobic attempt to convey its message, which all in all delivers nothing truly profound or introspective to gain. I think that's the central issue with the story; the narrative is so unsubtle and in-your-face that it leaves zero room for actual contemplation for the reader.
It might have been mistake on my part having never read Frankel's work before, but this feels more like an airport book to fill the time rather than a novel that truly speaks. And while Frankel's intentions and passions in illustrating an unconventional yet nonetheless wonderful family is evident, so much of its body is lost in execution. Reading Frankel's writing felt almost like eating a bowl of cornflakes: all content yet no substance. That's not to say that there's no conviction in this book, because there is. So much love sits in this plot, and yet the amount of pages dedicated to it feels unequal to a story that only seems to be lacking.
June 23, 2024
India Allwood, (fictional) TV star, is in hot water after some controversial comments. She’d taken on a side movie project, and she made some people angry with her seemingly cavalier treatment of the film’s subject: adoption. Turns out she has some experience, since we learn she’d given up a child from a teenage pregnancy. She has kids of her own now, and you go ahead and make whatever assumptions you want. Because in just a few pages, it all goes pear-shaped.
Each chapter is a switchback, from past to present, most of it from India’s point of view. It’s done so well: vibrant, pertinent, sharp, full of detail. The dialogue is simply brilliant, revealing very smart and clever characters. I really liked India as a protagonist: loved the index cards, the focus, the determination to make her dream of acting a reality. The love affair with Robbie was sweet, touching, even fun, and how the pregnancy happens and the ensuing decisions to be made were so natural, so real, so compelling. As for the characters, there were none I didn’t like. I LOVED Fig: what an authentic voice Frankel gives her; what great, kid-like choices she made. Loved the adventure she and the others take.
This is not the kind of novel you’d think was twisty, but in every chapter there was a plot shift, taking the story in a whole new direction. There’s a pretty straight story arc up until about 33%, right when India goes to college in New York. But after that, things get very complicated. And yet, Frankel handles it all deftly. She hides each situation within the past/present storytelling, and the reveals are surprising, even stunning. She communicates India’s rationale, even a tricky one about 2/3 through, in a way that made total sense to me. Such clear character development makes me smile.
There’s a point to be made about family structure, and particularly about adoption. The ending scenes try to do this in conversation with India and other characters. While it isn’t bad, after several hundred pages of snappy dialogue and perfectly lain-out plot, this felt a little slow, like the conclusion paragraph of an essay. That said, you should read the afterword: you’ll gain some respect and understanding for the author.
I love a good family drama, and this takes that genre to a new level. Creative, intricate, funny, wonderfully intelligent. One of the best of the year!
Each chapter is a switchback, from past to present, most of it from India’s point of view. It’s done so well: vibrant, pertinent, sharp, full of detail. The dialogue is simply brilliant, revealing very smart and clever characters. I really liked India as a protagonist: loved the index cards, the focus, the determination to make her dream of acting a reality. The love affair with Robbie was sweet, touching, even fun, and how the pregnancy happens and the ensuing decisions to be made were so natural, so real, so compelling. As for the characters, there were none I didn’t like. I LOVED Fig: what an authentic voice Frankel gives her; what great, kid-like choices she made. Loved the adventure she and the others take.
This is not the kind of novel you’d think was twisty, but in every chapter there was a plot shift, taking the story in a whole new direction. There’s a pretty straight story arc up until about 33%, right when India goes to college in New York. But after that, things get very complicated. And yet, Frankel handles it all deftly. She hides each situation within the past/present storytelling, and the reveals are surprising, even stunning. She communicates India’s rationale, even a tricky one about 2/3 through, in a way that made total sense to me. Such clear character development makes me smile.
There’s a point to be made about family structure, and particularly about adoption. The ending scenes try to do this in conversation with India and other characters. While it isn’t bad, after several hundred pages of snappy dialogue and perfectly lain-out plot, this felt a little slow, like the conclusion paragraph of an essay. That said, you should read the afterword: you’ll gain some respect and understanding for the author.
I love a good family drama, and this takes that genre to a new level. Creative, intricate, funny, wonderfully intelligent. One of the best of the year!
January 25, 2024
Laurie Frankel writes the best family-affirming stories, hands down. Her 2017 book, This Is How It Always Is, is in my top 10 books of all time, so I am a super fan - but that also gave me some pause as I started Family Family. That's a hard act to follow, and I had some trepidation that she wouldn't deliver a believable story. I am a single mom to a large family created through birth and adoption, so Family Family needed to hit the right cords to speak to me. And Frankel delivers.
Adoption is complicated. There is always some loss, some trauma, and some grief - but as this book portrays so eloquently- adoption brings people together and creates crazy, diverse, complicated, and connected families.
Frankel places word and phrase echos throughout the book, like the title Family Family. I enjoyed this literary device and smiled every time I encountered a new echo. Readers can interpret these echoes in many ways, but they all make one pause for a second and think about words and language - how a small thing like a comma or changed emphasis on a word can alter the meaning.
Book clubs will find a lot to discuss about this book.
Thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an electronic ARC in exchange for a review.
Adoption is complicated. There is always some loss, some trauma, and some grief - but as this book portrays so eloquently- adoption brings people together and creates crazy, diverse, complicated, and connected families.
Frankel places word and phrase echos throughout the book, like the title Family Family. I enjoyed this literary device and smiled every time I encountered a new echo. Readers can interpret these echoes in many ways, but they all make one pause for a second and think about words and language - how a small thing like a comma or changed emphasis on a word can alter the meaning.
Book clubs will find a lot to discuss about this book.
Thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an electronic ARC in exchange for a review.
February 3, 2024
4.5. So this was my first book by Laurie Frankel! I have to say I get the hype: I immediately checked out two more of her books!
I’m stunned I liked this as much as I did. I’m the one who normally hates anything with even a touch of sentimentality. I’ve only ever watched a Hallmark movie when I was trapped at a sub-par all-inclusive resort and it was either that and room service or another terrible plastic cuplet of technicolor sugared alcohol and deafening decibels of Pitbull by the pool.
And I do admit I found this book a wee bit sentimental, with a lot of idealized characters, nearly magically far-fetched coincidences, and fairytale or Shakespearean levels of comedically joyous resolution. But, if the tale was a tad escapist, it was also completely charming and unique and fun and funny and happy-making and vibrant and full of life and love - especially in the portrayals of the children and the various child-parent relationships. I really liked it, even if despite myself!
I felt similarly about Hello Beautiful, although that book had more darkness and (some) more realism. (It still felt ultimately like a happy family fairy tale to me, though, in the end.)
I will say that I can totally appreciate how some readers who have been adopted may have a variety of responses to an, again, extremely idealized portrait of adoption being written by an adoptive parent. I read some reviews to this effect and I think they are really valuable perspectives to have been shared. Own-voices stories from people who have actually been adopted are most critically important to be written and read. That being said, I also appreciated the viewpoint in this story and its afterword (and title) that it is still necessary and important to tell a variety of stories, about adoption or anything else, to represent the complex diversity of the human experience - and especially when it comes to family.
I also never say this, but could enjoy seeing this made into a film!
I’m stunned I liked this as much as I did. I’m the one who normally hates anything with even a touch of sentimentality. I’ve only ever watched a Hallmark movie when I was trapped at a sub-par all-inclusive resort and it was either that and room service or another terrible plastic cuplet of technicolor sugared alcohol and deafening decibels of Pitbull by the pool.
And I do admit I found this book a wee bit sentimental, with a lot of idealized characters, nearly magically far-fetched coincidences, and fairytale or Shakespearean levels of comedically joyous resolution. But, if the tale was a tad escapist, it was also completely charming and unique and fun and funny and happy-making and vibrant and full of life and love - especially in the portrayals of the children and the various child-parent relationships. I really liked it, even if despite myself!
I felt similarly about Hello Beautiful, although that book had more darkness and (some) more realism. (It still felt ultimately like a happy family fairy tale to me, though, in the end.)
I will say that I can totally appreciate how some readers who have been adopted may have a variety of responses to an, again, extremely idealized portrait of adoption being written by an adoptive parent. I read some reviews to this effect and I think they are really valuable perspectives to have been shared. Own-voices stories from people who have actually been adopted are most critically important to be written and read. That being said, I also appreciated the viewpoint in this story and its afterword (and title) that it is still necessary and important to tell a variety of stories, about adoption or anything else, to represent the complex diversity of the human experience - and especially when it comes to family.
I also never say this, but could enjoy seeing this made into a film!
October 26, 2023
FAMILY FAMILY is a big-hearted (you guessed it…) family drama that explores the nuances of adoption and the family we choose.
Actress India Allwood finds herself in the midst of a media storm when she asserts her true feelings about her latest movie: its depiction of adoption as tragic is one-dimensional and flat out wrong. India knows firsthand the complexities of family as an adoptive mother to twins and her own layered past.
I just adored the way this story unfolded. Through this rich cast of characters, Laurie Frankel confronts readers with ideas about who and what constitutes a family. As an adoptive mother herself, Frankel has a clear message about the way “unconventional”/non-biological families are perceived by those with “traditional” family structures. Rather than viewing adoption as a last resort to build a family, Frankel explores the various reasons why people choose the path of adoption as their first option.
If you love complicated family stories be sure to pick up FAMILY FAMILY.
RATING: 4/5
PUB DATE: January 23, 2024
READ THIS IF:
Reading about fictional celebrities and musical theater strike a chord
You appreciate authors who write from personal experience
You read and enjoyed ANY OTHER FAMILY by Eleanor Brown
Actress India Allwood finds herself in the midst of a media storm when she asserts her true feelings about her latest movie: its depiction of adoption as tragic is one-dimensional and flat out wrong. India knows firsthand the complexities of family as an adoptive mother to twins and her own layered past.
I just adored the way this story unfolded. Through this rich cast of characters, Laurie Frankel confronts readers with ideas about who and what constitutes a family. As an adoptive mother herself, Frankel has a clear message about the way “unconventional”/non-biological families are perceived by those with “traditional” family structures. Rather than viewing adoption as a last resort to build a family, Frankel explores the various reasons why people choose the path of adoption as their first option.
If you love complicated family stories be sure to pick up FAMILY FAMILY.
RATING: 4/5
PUB DATE: January 23, 2024
READ THIS IF:
Reading about fictional celebrities and musical theater strike a chord
You appreciate authors who write from personal experience
You read and enjoyed ANY OTHER FAMILY by Eleanor Brown
April 4, 2024
In order to enjoy Family Family, I believe that I need to have the right mindset. Laurie Frankel tackled the subject of adoption and twisted into her own. Most people are used to the same stories so she decided to change things up. She didn't want to deny the trauma or challenges, she wanted to write the story from another angle and shine lights on other aspects of adoption.
The writing was candid and captivating, there were some ramblings in between but it added a degree of carefreeness. India wasn't an easy character to understand, she had her own ways of doing things. She wasn't always right but she could convince people that she was trying to do the right thing. That was why she was so interesting and unique.
3.75 stars, the writing style and plot was current and refreshing. The first half of the book was stronger than the second half. I felt there were parts were left unexplained, maybe Laurie Frankel deliberately left it the way it is.
The writing was candid and captivating, there were some ramblings in between but it added a degree of carefreeness. India wasn't an easy character to understand, she had her own ways of doing things. She wasn't always right but she could convince people that she was trying to do the right thing. That was why she was so interesting and unique.
3.75 stars, the writing style and plot was current and refreshing. The first half of the book was stronger than the second half. I felt there were parts were left unexplained, maybe Laurie Frankel deliberately left it the way it is.
January 12, 2024
3.5 stars. *I’m struggling to put my thoughts together for this one but I guess I’ll start with what it’s about. It’s about India Allwood, a movie star who has found herself on the wrong side of cancel culture. But lucky for her, she has 10-year-old twin children ready to show the world who their Mom really was and is and maybe share a bit about their family family along the way.
*I am drawn to adoption stories and I immediately knew I wanted to read this one! I have a feeling while I didn’t absolutely adore this book, it’s one I’ll think about for awhile. I love that it felt like a totally original book I’ve never read before and you all know I love a found family book!
*I won’t mention some issues I had that will be spoilers but I did struggle with one character flinging around falsities about Christianity. I understand that that character had been hurt but it still felt like it was being written as if they were truth and as a Christian that didn’t sit right with me. Totally a personal issue but hey it’s my review so I’m mentioning it! I would love to hear what adopted readers/ adoptive parents think about this book.
Thank you, @henryholtbooks for this gifted ARC! Pub date: January 23, 2024!
*I am drawn to adoption stories and I immediately knew I wanted to read this one! I have a feeling while I didn’t absolutely adore this book, it’s one I’ll think about for awhile. I love that it felt like a totally original book I’ve never read before and you all know I love a found family book!
*I won’t mention some issues I had that will be spoilers but I did struggle with one character flinging around falsities about Christianity. I understand that that character had been hurt but it still felt like it was being written as if they were truth and as a Christian that didn’t sit right with me. Totally a personal issue but hey it’s my review so I’m mentioning it! I would love to hear what adopted readers/ adoptive parents think about this book.
Thank you, @henryholtbooks for this gifted ARC! Pub date: January 23, 2024!
July 17, 2024
I tried but I can't.
It's too bad since I think the topic is fascinating. Adoption and abortion need to be open for discussion. Society needs to remove the shame they put on those who give children up and be realistic about those who take children in. There needs to be understanding about how teenaged pregnancies happen (spoiler: it takes two!) and compassion for those who admit that it was a mistake which they are not ready to take on.
In this novel, there is something really odd about the writing that I found very off-putting. I think it was the shift from precocious 10 year old Fig to her dull mother and back. Maybe it would have been smoother if it were written in the 1st person? Maybe it was the jarring back and forth between vacuous YA voice and regular general fiction?
But whatever the reason, when I got to page 80 and was rolling my eyes at the series of incomplete sentences, talk of pap smears and prickers, I was relieved to remove my bookmark and set the book down in my 'return to library' pile.
Done, and done.
It's too bad since I think the topic is fascinating. Adoption and abortion need to be open for discussion. Society needs to remove the shame they put on those who give children up and be realistic about those who take children in. There needs to be understanding about how teenaged pregnancies happen (spoiler: it takes two!) and compassion for those who admit that it was a mistake which they are not ready to take on.
In this novel, there is something really odd about the writing that I found very off-putting. I think it was the shift from precocious 10 year old Fig to her dull mother and back. Maybe it would have been smoother if it were written in the 1st person? Maybe it was the jarring back and forth between vacuous YA voice and regular general fiction?
But whatever the reason, when I got to page 80 and was rolling my eyes at the series of incomplete sentences, talk of pap smears and prickers, I was relieved to remove my bookmark and set the book down in my 'return to library' pile.
Done, and done.
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