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313 pages, Nook
First published February 1, 2014
McKale was from another family of ancient magic. His people had only been able to produce male children for many, many years now. I was told they needed a special, magical girl to bind herself with one of their special, magical boys to ensure the continuation of their family’s bloodline. It sounded extraordinary to me as a child—like I was a princess—special, chosen.Well, aren't you both just so fucking special?
“Oh, Cassidy Renee,” she whispered into the air. Her eyes watered. “Why must you learn everything the hard way?”This book lets you think that, when two people are cheating, it's the girl's fault for being the seductress. Let me tell you something. It takes two to fucking tango.
“You kissed her?” He nodded once. His eyes were strained. “Really kiss her?” Another nod.This book lets you think that it's ok to live in a society of people who thinks it's "just tradition" to believe that women are lesser. This book lets you believe that sexual harrassment is ok, just as long as, you know, men didn't MEAN to offend.
Jealousy reared, but I didn’t feel angry at McKale. I knew he did what he had to do.
There was an abundance of winking going on, and no female’s backside was safe from an onslaught of pinches, including mine.To that, I give a big "Fuck you" to this book.
It wasn’t viewed as an act of disrespect. Even McKale thought it was funny.
The term “prearranged marriage” was thought of as something from the old days, or something that other societies did. I should have been terrified or indignant, but the way Mom presented my future eleven years ago made me feel important and useful.There was never such a beauty as Robyn Mason. Cleopatra gnashed her teeth in jealousy. Helen of Troy could only aspire to such beauty. Queen Elizabeth I would have eliminated Robyn in her cradle---
[Her mother] had a sudden fervent wish that Robyn was bald and funny-looking like so many precious babies she’d seen. Instead, the consort admired an inch-plus of wavy chestnut hair, rounded pink cheeks and the sweetest puckered mouth. Chocolate eyes and black lashes blinked at the Faerie. Beauty.She has been engaged since birth to a special guy from a special family.
“Mom…” My heart pounded and I chose my words carefully. “What is McKale’s clan called?”But it's ok, because special, different, 5'11 Robyn (She's the 3rd 5'11 YA heroine I've read this year)...
She wouldn’t look at me. The cabin space seemed to close in on me. It was forever before she answered in a cracking voice. “They’re the Leprechauns.”
I’d always felt like an Amazon woman, standing as tall as the guys at school, and even taller than many of them....is going to marry the special, different McKale. Who is a giant among Leprechauns. Who has always felt...different.
He sighed and swallowed. “When I was a wee lad, I dreamed of running away. I didn’t understand why I had to be different. Not just my height."
“So you can get big, like us?” she asked her tiny admirer. He nodded. “Can you do it now?”The entire book is composed of a fucking courtship. There is no plot beyond that. I don't know how, but it took the entire fucking length of the book for McKale and Robyn to fall in love when they already fell into insta-love when they first met.
A short blast of tingling magic hit us at our backs and we spun around. There on the top of the table sat Rock, full-sized, limber legs crossed.
I’d expected to feel emotional when I laid eyes on him. But I hadn’t expected the emotion to be so intense that it would impact me physically. Blood rushed through my veins at an alarming speed. My mind swirled and I swear I tilted to the side, off balance and unable to fully fill my lungs.The entire book is composed of such inanities as soccer-playing:
At one point I had the ball and when I turned to dribble away she tripped me, and then we were at it again. The crowd was clapping in sync and chanting, “Ma-son Girls! Ma-son Girls!”Hopper-racing:
“Hopper racing,” McKale said.Clubbing.
As we got closer I could make out the barrier of rocks lining the “racetracks” and a dozen frogs hopping every which way inside.
My Leprechaun had rhythm. And it was hot in a way that made me dizzy. I let myself lean back hard against him, raising my arms to the air and moving my hips.And sexual harrassment.
At one point in the game Cassidy screamed, “The next pair of grabby hands that touches my boobs or butt is getting a beatdown!”But not all is well in Ireland! There is an evil Fae princess, by the name of...Khaleesi!
Her tiny oval face was made of delicate features that would break any girl’s heart with envy. I was mesmerized by her big, almond shaped eyes of icy blue and her round, innocent flower of a mouth. Her hair was amazing: long, past her hips, straight and thick without a single hair out of place. The color was like white gold: the ultimate platinum blonde.
“I daresay not, Melindalah,” Khalistah answered.Or her other friend, Mirandalah.
“Is this the one who fancies you to pieces, Princess?”Khalistah wants him! That bitch! She has the nerve to desire McKale! I don't know why, since he doesn't have a penis, but there you go, she wants him! Will Robyn be able to save the innocent, virginal McKale form the evil seductress fairy princess's evil clutches?! Will she able to do it before I pass out from hysteria induced by extreme laughter?!
“The very same, Mirandalah.”
My entire body tightened and pulsed with a sensual charge. I was filled with need and want and—Oh please, feelings of horniness? I get wetter every time I see Tom Hiddleston's face onscreen.
“Do me a favor,” she said to Rock. “Say ‘They’re always trying to steal me Lucky Charms.’”There's no shortage to Irish stereotypes in the book. The main character is a redhead! They all play fiddles! They get really rowdy, naked, and drunk. They dance on tabletops. They get drunk some more! They play more fiddles! Ye gods!
Cass sang, “They’re magically delicious!”WHAT FUCKING LEPRECHAUNS?! What's the fucking point of featuring Leprechauns in a book if you're going to make him (the love interest) the ONE SINGLE GIANT FUCKING LEPRECHAUN IN A SEA OF TINY ASS PEOPLE?
He pulled me to him again and laid his lips gently against mine.McKale---or Kale, as he prefers to be called---is not a man. He doesn't have a penis.
“I fancied it when ye called me Kale.”
I watched him go, noting his long limbs and thin frame. It was hard to believe he was fifty-years-old and his body still had some filling-out to do.Am I the only one who finds this incredibly creepy? Leprechauns age slowly, but still. 50, dude. No.
I felt my ponytail lift and I stopped cranking. A slow turn of my head caught McKale letting the hair fall from his hand. He’d been smelling my hair. And now he wore an expression like a boy who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.They are content to sit there, gazing lovingly into each others' eyes.
His hands held each side of my face. I reached up and held his forearms until he pulled away just enough to see my eyes. We sat there, reading each other and savoring our prospects.Well, savoring our prospects! That's just gosh darned dang diddly romantic!
"I had never met a living thing like you. Brave enough to seek me, yet too shy to touch me. Such a refreshing change from the arrogance of Fae males."WELL THAT JUST EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. Are you fucking kidding me?
• Why is the leprechaun society so afraid of the fae?Robyn is our protagonist here, and I found to be decent enough. She's much like your typical fantasy protagonist - a bit naive about the situation she's in, with a special destiny she knows nothing about. Her optimism and intelligence definitely made me admire her, however.
• Why do they insist on living like they're in the Medieval era - especially considering all they have to do is just travel to the next town over to get some modern-day technology?