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Lost & Found: Nine life-changing lessons about stuff from someone who lost everything
240 pages, Hardcover
First published December 31, 2024
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206 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
March 28, 2024
Informative, enlightening yet digestible read. I finished this in three days! Bonus points for the fact that the author is one of my best friends.
April 5, 2024
I must firstly say to Helen, I am so very sorry for the heartbreaking event which led you to write this book. My first lesson in reading is that I will never use a storage facility.
The book is easy to understand and relatable, and whether you are wanting help with your hoarding or you are just interested in the psychology of buying and collecting this book is a must read. I just knew I’d really enjoy it when I read the synopsis as I fit into both categories.
Helen talks about impulse buying, collecting, how shopping will never satisfy you and so much more.
Such deep thought and huge amounts of research have been put in to write a book which gets down to the basics of why we buy stuff and why we find ourselves surrounded by clutter.
Many discussions with neuroscientists and psychologists explain how our brains work, sometimes going back to our roots and our basic need to feel secure and provide for our families.
The book has helped me understand why my sentimental brain finds it so hard to get rid of stuff.
I’ve already shared with some friends what I have learned about our brain choosing not to remember insignificant things. It’s not just that we have a bad memory!
This is a book I’m going to be reading again whenever I need the motivation to declutter, and recommending to friends.
Many thanks to Anne at Random Things Tours for my spot on the tour and my copy of the book.
The book is easy to understand and relatable, and whether you are wanting help with your hoarding or you are just interested in the psychology of buying and collecting this book is a must read. I just knew I’d really enjoy it when I read the synopsis as I fit into both categories.
Helen talks about impulse buying, collecting, how shopping will never satisfy you and so much more.
Such deep thought and huge amounts of research have been put in to write a book which gets down to the basics of why we buy stuff and why we find ourselves surrounded by clutter.
Many discussions with neuroscientists and psychologists explain how our brains work, sometimes going back to our roots and our basic need to feel secure and provide for our families.
The book has helped me understand why my sentimental brain finds it so hard to get rid of stuff.
I’ve already shared with some friends what I have learned about our brain choosing not to remember insignificant things. It’s not just that we have a bad memory!
This is a book I’m going to be reading again whenever I need the motivation to declutter, and recommending to friends.
Many thanks to Anne at Random Things Tours for my spot on the tour and my copy of the book.
June 4, 2024
After the author lost everything in a fire, she took stock and came to a new understanding about owning stuff. Combines memoir with self-help, including a look at why we buy and keep too much. Thoughtful.
April 23, 2024
My name is book_a_holic_17 and I am a hoarder!
Ok, I've said it out loud, I know I need help and I have all these good intentions - but I just can't be cured....
So, when I saw this book and read the blurb, I knew it was for me!!
This is described as part memoir, part self-help and part research and I was totally hooked from before even opening the first page!
We take a look back at a time when the author lost all her worldly possessions in a container fire after her break up and honestly, this broke my heart.
I have a lot of "stuff" and the idea of losing it in this way and how this would feel, really petrified me.
So, to read the author's journey through this loss - the pain, the emotional attachment to our things really resonated with me.
Moving on from this, we take a look at why it is that so many of us are so attached to the things around us and quite honestly this was utterly fascinating!
I love anything psychological and so loved looking at some of the science behind our attachments and need to surround ourselves.
This was so well written - to tell their story, but also the help us understand and even help us declutter our own lives.
I was completely hooked and totally onboard throughout and it really got me thinking about my own relationship with the things I keep around.
I can't say that I'll be completely cured - but I will definitely be more mindful in the future.....and what a brilliant read!
Ok, I've said it out loud, I know I need help and I have all these good intentions - but I just can't be cured....
So, when I saw this book and read the blurb, I knew it was for me!!
This is described as part memoir, part self-help and part research and I was totally hooked from before even opening the first page!
We take a look back at a time when the author lost all her worldly possessions in a container fire after her break up and honestly, this broke my heart.
I have a lot of "stuff" and the idea of losing it in this way and how this would feel, really petrified me.
So, to read the author's journey through this loss - the pain, the emotional attachment to our things really resonated with me.
Moving on from this, we take a look at why it is that so many of us are so attached to the things around us and quite honestly this was utterly fascinating!
I love anything psychological and so loved looking at some of the science behind our attachments and need to surround ourselves.
This was so well written - to tell their story, but also the help us understand and even help us declutter our own lives.
I was completely hooked and totally onboard throughout and it really got me thinking about my own relationship with the things I keep around.
I can't say that I'll be completely cured - but I will definitely be more mindful in the future.....and what a brilliant read!
April 17, 2024
Helen Chandler-Wilde shares with us this heartbreaking and honest story. I think we will all be able to understand and relate with parts and even most of this book, I know I do. This is a book that I recommend to everyone, whether you are in need of help with hoarding, wondering why we/people do this or the psychology side, you will find it interesting. Some people feel a need to shop/buy something everyday, even when they don't need it, but it's that feeling inside that we need to look into. Helen has done a lot of research before writing this book, she has spoken to psychologists and neuroscientists to find out how our brains work and why we need to keep things. I think we all need to hold onto somethings, but it's how much it to much. I have found this book helpful, since my husband died suddenly 11 years ago, I have never parted or even moved anything from where they were when he was alive.
May 21, 2024
This book was an easy read for me. I think anyone who reads this will gain knowledge and insight into their stuff, how they think about that stuff, and why they feel the way they do about it. I think this book is well written, enjoyable, relatable, and well researched. I just really like how this information about all the stuff in our lives is presented in this book. I will be purchasing a physical copy of this book for myself once it has been released. I will be recommending this book to friends, and I will likely purchase this book for gift-giving. I look forward to reading any other books this author may write in the future. Thanks to the author, publisher, and Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this ARC!
March 28, 2024
10/10 read!! Digestible, thought-provoking and incredibly readable. Helen is clearly a very talented writer who can talk about heart-wrenching and difficult topics in a relatable way. This will make you rethink your relationship with material possessions. Telling everyone I know to read.
April 1, 2024
Funny, insightful, and easy to read. As someone who is always trying to pare down her things, this book offered me some top tips for how to relate differently to my possessions.
Read
April 16, 2024Lost & Found begins with a thought-provoking question: “If you could save one thing from a fire, what would it be?” I took a moment to think on this one. Though there are many things that I have attachment to, and the thought of losing my journals is the most terrifying, I could not think of anything that I could not buy again or replace. As long as my family is ok, I think I will be ok. It is easier to say though when nothing bad has happened and the question is a thought experiment rather than a reality.
Helen Chandler-Wilde did not get a chance to pick things that the fire in her storage unit would not destroy. Throughout Lost & Found, she shares the impact of losing her possessions, the grief of the loss, the many times she found herself downplaying what had happened and the ways in which she herself and people around her reacted to this news. Already, the language to support grief for losing people is limited. How do we handle the loss of objects? I understand the place from which Chandler-Wilde writes. Many months back, there was a glitch on my blog. I was devastated. Though it took about a week for it to be good again, the loss of how it used to be was something I had to work through.
Lost & Found is a collection of lessons learned from the fire. I liked that the nine chapters are named as the lesson and contain extensive research and conversations about the topic. Each chapter ends with a bullet point list of things that the reader can try or think further about. This book is a wealth of knowledge about the environmental and emotional factors that get us stuck in the loop of buying more, even when we know we won’t be using the things we buy. The author puts into perspective what is happening to the things we waste. She challenges the beliefs that we might have like connecting our clothing and objects in our house to social status, revealing the hidden costs.
Until I read this book, I had never sat down to think about the many aspects of material possessions. Chandler-Wildedives deep into the psyche of what motivates us to shop and collect things, why we reach for things to avoid the things we actually need to face. I liked the distinction between hoarding and collecting and my favorite chapter of all was Lesson 8: Beauty is necessary.
I found a wide variety of strategies in Lost & Found and was happy to see some of what I already do reflected in these pages. Here are two strategies I have applied and vouch for:
(1) Waiting to buy things: I often add things to my cart for a couple of weeks if the purchase isn’t urgent before actually pressing the buy button.
(2) Packing up clothes based on season: This is a standard practice in India, one that I lost and recently cultivated after my move to Canada.
Lost & Found is a quick read. The writing is engaging and I flew through this book. I recommend it to anyone who thinks they spend a little too much time shopping or are interested to learn about the psychology of material possessions.
Many thanks to Random Things Tours for giving me a chance to highlight this book on my blog in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for reading my thoughts. 🙂
This review was first published on my blog.
- Kriti, Armed with A Book | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
Helen Chandler-Wilde did not get a chance to pick things that the fire in her storage unit would not destroy. Throughout Lost & Found, she shares the impact of losing her possessions, the grief of the loss, the many times she found herself downplaying what had happened and the ways in which she herself and people around her reacted to this news. Already, the language to support grief for losing people is limited. How do we handle the loss of objects? I understand the place from which Chandler-Wilde writes. Many months back, there was a glitch on my blog. I was devastated. Though it took about a week for it to be good again, the loss of how it used to be was something I had to work through.
Lost & Found is a collection of lessons learned from the fire. I liked that the nine chapters are named as the lesson and contain extensive research and conversations about the topic. Each chapter ends with a bullet point list of things that the reader can try or think further about. This book is a wealth of knowledge about the environmental and emotional factors that get us stuck in the loop of buying more, even when we know we won’t be using the things we buy. The author puts into perspective what is happening to the things we waste. She challenges the beliefs that we might have like connecting our clothing and objects in our house to social status, revealing the hidden costs.
Until I read this book, I had never sat down to think about the many aspects of material possessions. Chandler-Wildedives deep into the psyche of what motivates us to shop and collect things, why we reach for things to avoid the things we actually need to face. I liked the distinction between hoarding and collecting and my favorite chapter of all was Lesson 8: Beauty is necessary.
I found a wide variety of strategies in Lost & Found and was happy to see some of what I already do reflected in these pages. Here are two strategies I have applied and vouch for:
(1) Waiting to buy things: I often add things to my cart for a couple of weeks if the purchase isn’t urgent before actually pressing the buy button.
(2) Packing up clothes based on season: This is a standard practice in India, one that I lost and recently cultivated after my move to Canada.
Lost & Found is a quick read. The writing is engaging and I flew through this book. I recommend it to anyone who thinks they spend a little too much time shopping or are interested to learn about the psychology of material possessions.
Many thanks to Random Things Tours for giving me a chance to highlight this book on my blog in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for reading my thoughts. 🙂
This review was first published on my blog.
- Kriti, Armed with A Book | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
April 10, 2024
Subtitled “…from someone who lost everything”, Lost & Found drew me like a magnet. Journalist Helen Chandler-Wilde, had stowed her worldly goods in a storage unit and moved back in with her parents after a break-up. Sadly, everything was lost in a fire on New Year’s Eve!
Her intro tells the story of the immediate aftermath and how it affected her, “No one had died, but it almost felt like I was grieving.” She and the other victims of the fire formed a social media group – they were the only people who got what she/they were all going through. There was also the fact that a lot of the stuff lost had been shared with her ex – “The past – cremated!” forcing her to get with life.
It all led her reassessing her relationship towards stuff and our love-hate relationship to it. Stuff changes our behaviour, from using it as status symbols, to collecting and hoarding, but also positively as an expression of our selves, its role in triggering memories. Wants and needs will be considered too, before turning to philosophy to consider the role of beautiful things in our lives. I was intrigued to see that she ends the book with “the science-backed ways that allow you to truly buy happiness.” – not a concept I was expecting from this book, but the discussion of pausing before you buy and related psychology was thought-provoking.
Throughout the book, the author talks to experts, psychologists and the like, and talks to all kinds of people about their possessions, including a nun, who owns nothing, which is both freeing and confining for her. I loved the way the author built in cultural references, from a discussion of the Hermès ‘Birkin’ bag, to the pivotal speech in which Miranda Priestly explains the theory of the ‘diffusion of innovations’ to intern Andy in The Devil Wears Prada.
Each of the nine main chapters tackles one topic, or lesson if you will, and finishes not only with a conclusion, but a section of ‘final thoughts’ which gives some advice on how to implement positive changes or questions to ask yourself such as:
- Why are you collecting?
- Be careful with discount shopping
- What objects make you feel like yourself?
- Have at least one thing that you find beautiful in every room of your house. (and it doesn’t have to be costly, shiny conkers will do).
As someone who a) owns too much stuff, b) has a tendency to impulse buy, c) can’t stop acquiring books, d) has too many boxes of in case it might come in useful oddments, e) could never ever be a minimalist, but f) is a cured Star Trek memorabilia and phone cards collector, this book spoke volumes to me. I loved reading about the psychology of ownership of stuff and I’ve learned a lot from these lessons. Highly recommended.
Her intro tells the story of the immediate aftermath and how it affected her, “No one had died, but it almost felt like I was grieving.” She and the other victims of the fire formed a social media group – they were the only people who got what she/they were all going through. There was also the fact that a lot of the stuff lost had been shared with her ex – “The past – cremated!” forcing her to get with life.
It all led her reassessing her relationship towards stuff and our love-hate relationship to it. Stuff changes our behaviour, from using it as status symbols, to collecting and hoarding, but also positively as an expression of our selves, its role in triggering memories. Wants and needs will be considered too, before turning to philosophy to consider the role of beautiful things in our lives. I was intrigued to see that she ends the book with “the science-backed ways that allow you to truly buy happiness.” – not a concept I was expecting from this book, but the discussion of pausing before you buy and related psychology was thought-provoking.
Throughout the book, the author talks to experts, psychologists and the like, and talks to all kinds of people about their possessions, including a nun, who owns nothing, which is both freeing and confining for her. I loved the way the author built in cultural references, from a discussion of the Hermès ‘Birkin’ bag, to the pivotal speech in which Miranda Priestly explains the theory of the ‘diffusion of innovations’ to intern Andy in The Devil Wears Prada.
Each of the nine main chapters tackles one topic, or lesson if you will, and finishes not only with a conclusion, but a section of ‘final thoughts’ which gives some advice on how to implement positive changes or questions to ask yourself such as:
- Why are you collecting?
- Be careful with discount shopping
- What objects make you feel like yourself?
- Have at least one thing that you find beautiful in every room of your house. (and it doesn’t have to be costly, shiny conkers will do).
As someone who a) owns too much stuff, b) has a tendency to impulse buy, c) can’t stop acquiring books, d) has too many boxes of in case it might come in useful oddments, e) could never ever be a minimalist, but f) is a cured Star Trek memorabilia and phone cards collector, this book spoke volumes to me. I loved reading about the psychology of ownership of stuff and I’ve learned a lot from these lessons. Highly recommended.
December 21, 2024
What would you do if you lost everything? Helen Chandler-Wilde experienced this situation in 2018. She had gone through a break-up with her boyfriend and moved back into her parents’ home temporarily, packing up her own belongings into a storage building. She was stunned when her mother broke the sad news that the storage company that she’d rented space from had suffered a devastating fire. Her belongings were all gone.
Chandler-Wilde decided, once the initial shock wore off, to study the role things play in people’s lives. Her work as a journalist had given her the tools to ask questions, collect information, and draw conclusions. She wondered what makes us crave, shop, choose, collect. And how might we have a healthier relationship with our stuff?
This is a topic I’d long been interested in due to family circumstances. When I retired and moved to this area, it was because my parents and youngest brother were living in the house in Trion, Georgia, where my grandparents and great-grandmother had lived since the early 1950s. Generations of family members had brought their worldly goods to that home. And when people moved out, died, or just wandered off, their stuff remained. My mother resisted discarding anything, a position that hardened as she slipped further into dementia.
I had dreaded the day when, inevitably, the responsibility for cleaning it all out would fall to me. I’d read several books about decluttering and the psychology of hoarding in preparation for the great clean out. When the time came in spring of 2020, the pandemic actually simplified the whole process. We kept a little, threw away plenty, and gave lots of things away to people who could use them. It wasn’t easy but it was manageable.
Still I was curious about Lost & Found. The book sounded intriguing, but I wondered if it would be able to give me more insight than I already possessed. The author was much younger than me, and I suspected she enjoyed shopping much more than I did. Would this book be worth my time?
It was.
Chandler-Wilde’s journalistic skills pay off as she describes the sadness she experienced at losing her belongings and then explores cultural trends and research into how humans express inner longings through the things they choose to own. Each chapter begins with an item she lost in the fire and the questions it leads her to ask about possessions. The first chapter addresses her shopping habit, how it arose and how the dopamine hits her brain experienced when she purchased something new reinforced the drive to shop more. After all, the pleasure is in buying something new, not the possession itself. Which soon leads to another purchase and another.
Additional chapters discuss the need to understand that we are more than our possessions, something that’s increasing hard to grasp in a materialistic culture. Science shows that while the trappings of wealth and taste may impress people who don’t know us well, true happiness comes from the respect and friendship of the people who know us best. Being kind and competent, it turns out, make it much easier to earn respect, increasing our odds of living happier lives.
Although Chandler-Wilde dives into topics like commodity theory as a way of thinking about scarcity and how it influences choices, the book is never dry. The author takes the science and breaks it down into easy-to-digest pieces, always referencing the very human implications of the conclusions. At 242 pages, it’s a relatively quick read that is full of information and thoughtful reflections.
Lost & Found is an excellent read for anyone who would like to better understand how we gather things around us, while becoming more intentional about those possessions. Its publication date is December 31, 2024. It will soon after be available for check out at Moon Lake Library. Patrons can also place a hold on the digital copy I’ve ordered for Camellia Net, the ebook collection accessible with the Libby app.
Chandler-Wilde decided, once the initial shock wore off, to study the role things play in people’s lives. Her work as a journalist had given her the tools to ask questions, collect information, and draw conclusions. She wondered what makes us crave, shop, choose, collect. And how might we have a healthier relationship with our stuff?
This is a topic I’d long been interested in due to family circumstances. When I retired and moved to this area, it was because my parents and youngest brother were living in the house in Trion, Georgia, where my grandparents and great-grandmother had lived since the early 1950s. Generations of family members had brought their worldly goods to that home. And when people moved out, died, or just wandered off, their stuff remained. My mother resisted discarding anything, a position that hardened as she slipped further into dementia.
I had dreaded the day when, inevitably, the responsibility for cleaning it all out would fall to me. I’d read several books about decluttering and the psychology of hoarding in preparation for the great clean out. When the time came in spring of 2020, the pandemic actually simplified the whole process. We kept a little, threw away plenty, and gave lots of things away to people who could use them. It wasn’t easy but it was manageable.
Still I was curious about Lost & Found. The book sounded intriguing, but I wondered if it would be able to give me more insight than I already possessed. The author was much younger than me, and I suspected she enjoyed shopping much more than I did. Would this book be worth my time?
It was.
Chandler-Wilde’s journalistic skills pay off as she describes the sadness she experienced at losing her belongings and then explores cultural trends and research into how humans express inner longings through the things they choose to own. Each chapter begins with an item she lost in the fire and the questions it leads her to ask about possessions. The first chapter addresses her shopping habit, how it arose and how the dopamine hits her brain experienced when she purchased something new reinforced the drive to shop more. After all, the pleasure is in buying something new, not the possession itself. Which soon leads to another purchase and another.
Additional chapters discuss the need to understand that we are more than our possessions, something that’s increasing hard to grasp in a materialistic culture. Science shows that while the trappings of wealth and taste may impress people who don’t know us well, true happiness comes from the respect and friendship of the people who know us best. Being kind and competent, it turns out, make it much easier to earn respect, increasing our odds of living happier lives.
Although Chandler-Wilde dives into topics like commodity theory as a way of thinking about scarcity and how it influences choices, the book is never dry. The author takes the science and breaks it down into easy-to-digest pieces, always referencing the very human implications of the conclusions. At 242 pages, it’s a relatively quick read that is full of information and thoughtful reflections.
Lost & Found is an excellent read for anyone who would like to better understand how we gather things around us, while becoming more intentional about those possessions. Its publication date is December 31, 2024. It will soon after be available for check out at Moon Lake Library. Patrons can also place a hold on the digital copy I’ve ordered for Camellia Net, the ebook collection accessible with the Libby app.
May 23, 2024
What sort of book would you write if you lost most of your belongings?
For this book, I was expecting essays about items she lost and the meanings, maybe also something about the breakup that had her put her stuff into storage. (A fire destroyed the Storage unit she had rented.)
I was so pleased and surprised by intellectualness of this book. Helen is a capable writer and she is exploring the 'big picture' of buying, owning, and (possibly) parting with your things. Topics include status, and scarcity, trends, and collections.
I loved a concept she introduced in the status section. That, if you think you're on the bottom rung socially---meaning people don't respect you--then your well-being is lowered. Helen says this is probably not a surprise to you, considering how many people use things as a way to achieve status. I include this example because I'm sure many of Helen's comments will give you pause for thinking.
A good, approachable book that features philosophies of things with straight forward writing.
I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
For this book, I was expecting essays about items she lost and the meanings, maybe also something about the breakup that had her put her stuff into storage. (A fire destroyed the Storage unit she had rented.)
I was so pleased and surprised by intellectualness of this book. Helen is a capable writer and she is exploring the 'big picture' of buying, owning, and (possibly) parting with your things. Topics include status, and scarcity, trends, and collections.
I loved a concept she introduced in the status section. That, if you think you're on the bottom rung socially---meaning people don't respect you--then your well-being is lowered. Helen says this is probably not a surprise to you, considering how many people use things as a way to achieve status. I include this example because I'm sure many of Helen's comments will give you pause for thinking.
A good, approachable book that features philosophies of things with straight forward writing.
I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
May 22, 2024
I loved this book! I’m a person who has always struggled with having too much stuff. Books like The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning and The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up just don’t cut it for me. It’s not so cut and dry!
I really appreciate how this book considers the issue from so many different angles, in addition to sharing the author’s unique life experience. I’m obviously not happy that this happened to her, but hearing the results of this event are reassuring for packrats (like me).
I expect to return to this time and time again because frankly, I need the help.
Thank you for the advance copy in exchange for my honest review, NetGalley!
I really appreciate how this book considers the issue from so many different angles, in addition to sharing the author’s unique life experience. I’m obviously not happy that this happened to her, but hearing the results of this event are reassuring for packrats (like me).
I expect to return to this time and time again because frankly, I need the help.
Thank you for the advance copy in exchange for my honest review, NetGalley!
June 23, 2024
As someone with a love/hate relationship with all my stuff, I adore books that help me understand/redefine/change that relationship.
This quick read was a great dive into the many layers of thought, emotion, sensation we experience acquiring, shedding, losing our stuff.
I wished for more integration of the objects the author lost into each chapter. I expected the objects to be an organizing principle, but they felt tacked on sometimes.
Good read.
Thank you to Chronicle Books and the author for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley.
This quick read was a great dive into the many layers of thought, emotion, sensation we experience acquiring, shedding, losing our stuff.
I wished for more integration of the objects the author lost into each chapter. I expected the objects to be an organizing principle, but they felt tacked on sometimes.
Good read.
Thank you to Chronicle Books and the author for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley.
May 29, 2024
I have read a number of books about minimalism and simplicity and also practice this myself. I also enjoy memoirs, so this book was a good blend of both. The author became an unexpected minimalist when a fire destroyed virtually all of her belongings. This led her to explore her relationship with “stuff” as well as dig in to the research on possessions and its’ effects on people. The author is a journalist, so this book is a great mix of memoir and reporting on the topic. If you want to explore your relationship with possessions as well as discover one person’s journey to discovering what is enough for her, I recommend this book.
I received an advanced from the publisher via NetGalley.
I received an advanced from the publisher via NetGalley.
February 1, 2025
Full review at: https://readingourshelves.wordpress.c...
So, we see the setup here: a journalist, who is temporarily living with her parents and has most of her possessions in storage, loses said possessions when the storage facility catches fire. Amidst rebuilding her life, she wonders if she can build back better, and not just dive into buying random stuff. During this process, she reads books and interviews experts, as well as talking to a few other victims of the same fire that claimed her “stuff.”
To give you an idea on how she breaks up the topics at hand, the chapter titles are:
Satisfaction isn’t found while shopping; You are more than your things; Plentiful things aren’t worthless; You are not what you own; Collecting is more than buying stuff; You can’t hold onto every memory; You might not need that; Beauty is necessary; and True pleasure lasts.
Within these, we learn about how marketing tactics make us buy more than we need, how keeping our dopamine levels up all the time doesn’t lead to long-term happiness, and how clutter might contribute “unseen” costs to our life.
But it’s not all doom and gloom! The author also examines when collecting things contribute to a person’s happiness, or how we are all programmed to enjoy beautiful things – even if what is beautiful might seem subjective.
In the end, she proposes a few challenges to try to determine what you really need to keep around in your space. The real aim is to get us to examine our shopping habits and make better choices before things get cluttered to begin with. And there are definitely allowances for mementos, collecting things as a hobby if the hunt for them brings us joy or adventures, and finding things of beauty all around us.
This is absolutely a book that could only be released on NYE, amiright? Not only did the inciting incident take place on that date, but the ensuing challenges to our habits is perfect for those who love making New Year’s resolutions.
So, we see the setup here: a journalist, who is temporarily living with her parents and has most of her possessions in storage, loses said possessions when the storage facility catches fire. Amidst rebuilding her life, she wonders if she can build back better, and not just dive into buying random stuff. During this process, she reads books and interviews experts, as well as talking to a few other victims of the same fire that claimed her “stuff.”
To give you an idea on how she breaks up the topics at hand, the chapter titles are:
Satisfaction isn’t found while shopping; You are more than your things; Plentiful things aren’t worthless; You are not what you own; Collecting is more than buying stuff; You can’t hold onto every memory; You might not need that; Beauty is necessary; and True pleasure lasts.
Within these, we learn about how marketing tactics make us buy more than we need, how keeping our dopamine levels up all the time doesn’t lead to long-term happiness, and how clutter might contribute “unseen” costs to our life.
But it’s not all doom and gloom! The author also examines when collecting things contribute to a person’s happiness, or how we are all programmed to enjoy beautiful things – even if what is beautiful might seem subjective.
In the end, she proposes a few challenges to try to determine what you really need to keep around in your space. The real aim is to get us to examine our shopping habits and make better choices before things get cluttered to begin with. And there are definitely allowances for mementos, collecting things as a hobby if the hunt for them brings us joy or adventures, and finding things of beauty all around us.
This is absolutely a book that could only be released on NYE, amiright? Not only did the inciting incident take place on that date, but the ensuing challenges to our habits is perfect for those who love making New Year’s resolutions.
April 10, 2024
I was so drawn to this book, as soon as I read the blurb. There was just something so raw about it, the honesty of losing everything and the pain one goes through, and then exploring both that pain and why we experience it for material possessions.
I really liked how the author dove straight in, really sharing with us the sorrow and depth of the situation, as they lost everything in that fire. I was able to truly put myself there and feel their pain. Then they went straight for looking at items and their connection, and the emotional ways they tried (or sometimes didn't) to deal with with it.
Overall, the book is unique, honest and written so well. It really looks at something unique and true to all of us, in the material world we live in, with the emotions and physical memories we attach to the items. It was a brilliant read.
I really liked how the author dove straight in, really sharing with us the sorrow and depth of the situation, as they lost everything in that fire. I was able to truly put myself there and feel their pain. Then they went straight for looking at items and their connection, and the emotional ways they tried (or sometimes didn't) to deal with with it.
Overall, the book is unique, honest and written so well. It really looks at something unique and true to all of us, in the material world we live in, with the emotions and physical memories we attach to the items. It was a brilliant read.
May 16, 2024
Journalist Helen Chandler-White lost nearly everything she owned in a fire. This book is her response to that. Of course she addresses the feeling of loss, almost of grief, for her destroyed photographs, clothes, souvenirs, favorite books and belongings. But then she examines various aspects of the event, such as consumerism, ownership, hoarding, minimalism, collecting. As she considers our relationship with things, she builds a more mindful attitude towards her things and acquiring them. There's nothing ground breaking here, if you've read about consumerism, minimalism, etc. before, you'll have come across most of these "discoveries." But it's good to revisit them from time to time, as you make another payment to the mini storage or search for more closet space. (Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for a digital review copy.)
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January 9, 2025When the author loses everything in a fire she is forced to confront her relationship to "things". I really wished for more emotional connection here! As someone who recently had a fire (and the as we speak devastation of Los Angeles area) I don't think it's as simple as moving on not caring what you lost. I think having an emergency plan and list would be a helpful takeaway. I think a compassionate approach to assessing our belongings while we are mentally in a good space would be more beneficial. This lacked the depth to be a memoir, and lacked the tools to be a minimalist/downsizing book for me. I'm not too sure of the inbetween in landed on! Likely a good starting spot if you're considering your relationship to "things", perhaps I'm too deep into the space to feel connected to the lack of nuance!
March 29, 2025
I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘stuff’ as I’m helping my hoarding elderly Mum & my elderly in-laws to de-clutter. I’m a collector myself too & at the age of 60, I’ve had a bit of a sea change in my thinking. ‘Stuff’ however lovely can become a burden. In trying to figure out why we keep things that no longer mean much to us or that we don’t need, I’ve read quite a few books & articles on the subject. This book is definitely one of the more interesting & thought provoking ones. I read it in a couple, of days which is fast for me. It’s a fascinating subject & this book is good at looking at the research into the psychological reasons for our sometimes weird& illogical ideas of what has value or adds value to our lives.
Just wish I could get my Mum to read it.
Just wish I could get my Mum to read it.
April 8, 2024
My relationship with my stuff over the years has been complicated, contradictory and, at times, confounding.
I rebelled against my family’s bah humbug spirit by decorating my entire bedroom each Christmas as a teenager. I went through a stage in my 20’s where I attempted to recapture my childhood Disneyana style.
When I’m fidgety, I love nothing more than sorting through and throwing out stuff I don’t need anymore. I don’t plan on stopping adding to my book collection until I’m crushed under its weight. My stuff was in a storage unit for over six months during lockdown and I was surprised by how few items I use on a daily basis.
It’s pretty safe to say this book and I were destined to find one another.
This was a fascinating read, combining memoir and investigation. The author lost almost all of her belongings in a storage unit fire in her 20’s. Just thinking about that makes me want to hug my Nan’s paintings.
This experience has given the author a unique perspective regarding what our stuff means to us and how it changes over time.
Looking at the role social status and nostalgia play in how and why we accumulate stuff, as well as delving into scarcity and hoarding, I don’t think you could read this book without examining your own experiences and maybe taking some action. I was compelled to stop reading mid chapter to tackle some items I’d been meaning to sort through for months and I felt so much better afterwards.
Handy hint: If you want to buy something, holding off for just 72 hours can be enough for you to determine if it’s something you really want or an impulse spend.
Blog - https://schizanthusnerd.com
I rebelled against my family’s bah humbug spirit by decorating my entire bedroom each Christmas as a teenager. I went through a stage in my 20’s where I attempted to recapture my childhood Disneyana style.
When I’m fidgety, I love nothing more than sorting through and throwing out stuff I don’t need anymore. I don’t plan on stopping adding to my book collection until I’m crushed under its weight. My stuff was in a storage unit for over six months during lockdown and I was surprised by how few items I use on a daily basis.
It’s pretty safe to say this book and I were destined to find one another.
This was a fascinating read, combining memoir and investigation. The author lost almost all of her belongings in a storage unit fire in her 20’s. Just thinking about that makes me want to hug my Nan’s paintings.
This experience has given the author a unique perspective regarding what our stuff means to us and how it changes over time.
Possessions can fix a memory, for good or bad. They make one version of the past permanent, giving it an outsized importance that it hasn’t earned, while other memories fall away.Each chapter tackles our “thoughts and behaviours around our possessions”, beginning with an item lost in the fire that’s relevant to the lesson. The author explores her own relationship to her possessions as well as sharing what insights fields such as neuroscience, psychology and philosophy have to offer.
Looking at the role social status and nostalgia play in how and why we accumulate stuff, as well as delving into scarcity and hoarding, I don’t think you could read this book without examining your own experiences and maybe taking some action. I was compelled to stop reading mid chapter to tackle some items I’d been meaning to sort through for months and I felt so much better afterwards.
Handy hint: If you want to buy something, holding off for just 72 hours can be enough for you to determine if it’s something you really want or an impulse spend.
We can choose things that please us or help us to feel that yesterday wasn’t so long ago. If chosen smartly, they can please us for a while, but they will never be the centre of our lives.Thank you so much to Random Things Tours and Aster, an imprint of Octopus Publishing Group, for the opportunity to read this book.
Blog - https://schizanthusnerd.com
March 30, 2024
This book is fantastic! Funny, thought-provoking and heartwarming it makes you think about our relationship with our stuff. Would highly recommend it!
January 13, 2025
Interesting read and easy to read.
January 14, 2025
quite good, but not for me. Can't stand the story about fire kept repeating in the book.
January 23, 2025
Nothing that is already widely known.
April 25, 2024
As soon as I heard about this book, I wanted to read it. It sounded fascinating, with a really interesting mix of personal insights as well as in depth research. The author Helen Chandler-Wilde, lost all of her possessions in a storage unit fire in 2018. In Lost and Found, she discusses her findings into the reasons why we buy things, how we form connections with our possessions, and why we hold onto things for so long.
I liked the way that each chapter was focused around an object that Helen had lost in the fire. The start of the chapter explored her personal feelings and then jumped into the wider research she had carried out. I enjoyed the anecdotes with the people she had spoken to, exploring their own situations and attachments to certain items or collections that they owned. Each chapter concluded with some final thoughts, which provided a useful summary of what had been discussed.
I personally am a lot more minimalist than I ever used to be (with one exception being my books). I do have attachments to certain objects that hold particular memories though and I have a very big box containing old cards, letters and journals which I don’t think I would be able to part with. The book definitely made me reflect on my own habits and inspired me to think differently about the things I hold onto.
Very well written and researched, I identified a lot with certain parts and kept stopping to read bits aloud to other people. It was fascinating and thought provoking to explore the psychology of what you would do if you had to start over again without any belongings at all.
I liked the way that each chapter was focused around an object that Helen had lost in the fire. The start of the chapter explored her personal feelings and then jumped into the wider research she had carried out. I enjoyed the anecdotes with the people she had spoken to, exploring their own situations and attachments to certain items or collections that they owned. Each chapter concluded with some final thoughts, which provided a useful summary of what had been discussed.
I personally am a lot more minimalist than I ever used to be (with one exception being my books). I do have attachments to certain objects that hold particular memories though and I have a very big box containing old cards, letters and journals which I don’t think I would be able to part with. The book definitely made me reflect on my own habits and inspired me to think differently about the things I hold onto.
Very well written and researched, I identified a lot with certain parts and kept stopping to read bits aloud to other people. It was fascinating and thought provoking to explore the psychology of what you would do if you had to start over again without any belongings at all.
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