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From Mom to Me Again: How I Survived My First Empty-Nest Year and Reinvented the Rest of My Life
Rediscover your own identity after your kids leave home with this top-rated empty nest book for moms! This empowering and insightful book is packed with practical advice, inspiring anecdotes, and valuable strategies to help you navigate the transition into empty nesting and discover a vibrant new identity. Written by an experienced author who has been through the journey herself, this book is your trusted companion as you embark on this transformative phase. Whether you're feeling lost, overwhelmed, or uncertain about what lies ahead, From Mom to Me Again offers a roadmap to reclaiming your independence, rediscovering your passions, and embracing the joy and opportunities that come with an empty nest. Inside, you'll Whether you're a newly empty-nester or have been on this journey for some time, From Mom to Me Again is your go-to resource for embracing change, rediscovering yourself, and living life to the fullest. With its wealth of wisdom, actionable steps, and uplifting guidance, this book is a must-read for every woman ready to embark on a new chapter of her life. Also makes a great gift for empty nesters!
224 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2016
About the author
Melissa Shultz
2 books11 followersI’m a freelance writer, and acquisitions editor with Jim Donovan Literary. My essays and articles have run in publications such as The Washington Post, The Dallas Morning News, Reader’s Digest, The New York Times, Ladies’ Home Journal, Babble.com, Newsweek, Huffington Post, Scarymommy.com, The Los Angeles Times, Table Magazine, as well as CNN Radio. From Mom to Me Again is my first book.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
June 19, 2016
This book was a perfect read for this stage of my life. One child has graduated college, one child is a high school senior this year, and the last one is starting high school. The winds of change are blowing harder, and this Stay at Home Mom of the past 21 years is starting to feel the breeze.
I enjoyed the style of the writing: a combination of memoir and research, liberally sprinkled with helpful resources and links throughout. I found myself highlighting and bookmarking things I will go back and refer to over the next few years.
Most importantly, reading it helped me acknowledge that my thoughts, concerns and worries are normal, and also helped me realize some things I would not have even thought of.. and actions I can start doing to make this life transition something to look forward to.
Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for the advance reader copy of this book. All words and opinions herein are solely my own.
I enjoyed the style of the writing: a combination of memoir and research, liberally sprinkled with helpful resources and links throughout. I found myself highlighting and bookmarking things I will go back and refer to over the next few years.
Most importantly, reading it helped me acknowledge that my thoughts, concerns and worries are normal, and also helped me realize some things I would not have even thought of.. and actions I can start doing to make this life transition something to look forward to.
Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for the advance reader copy of this book. All words and opinions herein are solely my own.
January 19, 2024
I really enjoyed this book. As I read it I discovered that the author is a lot like me at this stage of my life. She gives practical advice on how to approach the empty nest phase but these are merely suggestions as you of course have to do what’s suitable for you. If nothing else, it’s just nice to know someone can relate to what we’re going through and that we’re not alone.
February 13, 2023
There were some very helpful tips in this book and some things that were good places to start. However the overall organization and layout of the book made it difficult for me to follow. It seemed very stream of consciousness and mixed too many different people’s perspectives together. I would not read it from cover to cover but maybe just apply some of it to areas of struggle.
November 29, 2021
They make me proud every day.
I won't always be here for my kids, but while I am still here I'm going to have to learn to accept what I cannot control and learn to control a whole lot less.
Ask how can I help? Instead of telling them what to do.
Remember that I am still in the game. I just moved from pitcher to catcher and they are the one's who are up to bat.
What kids need now is not instructions about how to do everything right but the resourcefulness and resilience to cope with things when they go wrong.
Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago, internalized when you were too young to know the patterns you were learning.
Regret reflects a sense of responsibility, and that's an honorable thing. But when it's taken too far, it can keep you stuck in the past, concentrating on something you are powerless to change.
Healthy regret moves through stages, as grief. The operable word is moves.
Learn from the past and move on. Don't dwell on it.
The thing about a transition is that it provides opportunities to revisit the past and leave behind what isn't relevant to your future or what may be preventing you from imagining it. After my father died, his physical absence made it easier for me to work through feelings without being swayed by his behavior.
It's not your fault. You were just a kid. All kids deserve to be loved and protected. Don't blame yourself for what your parent did or didn't do, what they said or didn't say.
A negative relationship with a parent doesn't need to define you. As mature adults, we have the power to set the course of our lives.
Raising activity in the regions of our brain associated with planning and our sense of reward, we can experience for longer periods of time.
Look around and see what you can control in your life. Today. Make that small behavior change or attitude change today.
Grow your own life.
If you could make a documentary about any subject, what would you choose and why?
We don't own our children. We shape them and introduce them to the world and then we set them free.
Shit really does happen. Sometimes for days or weeks or years in a row. You have to believe that it will come to an end, or it never does.
Believe in yourself. No one else will if you won't.
Rethink endings. When you think you've reached one, make it a middle instead.
They go away, yes. But not forever. Just for longer and longer. Transitioning to their absence is about shifting the focus, allowing yourself to reevaluate your own needs hopes and dreams.
We must not dwell. It's not about what you didn't do that matters; it's about where you go from here. And you'll never get anywhere if you beat yourself up.
I won't always be here for my kids, but while I am still here I'm going to have to learn to accept what I cannot control and learn to control a whole lot less.
Ask how can I help? Instead of telling them what to do.
Remember that I am still in the game. I just moved from pitcher to catcher and they are the one's who are up to bat.
What kids need now is not instructions about how to do everything right but the resourcefulness and resilience to cope with things when they go wrong.
Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago, internalized when you were too young to know the patterns you were learning.
Regret reflects a sense of responsibility, and that's an honorable thing. But when it's taken too far, it can keep you stuck in the past, concentrating on something you are powerless to change.
Healthy regret moves through stages, as grief. The operable word is moves.
Learn from the past and move on. Don't dwell on it.
The thing about a transition is that it provides opportunities to revisit the past and leave behind what isn't relevant to your future or what may be preventing you from imagining it. After my father died, his physical absence made it easier for me to work through feelings without being swayed by his behavior.
It's not your fault. You were just a kid. All kids deserve to be loved and protected. Don't blame yourself for what your parent did or didn't do, what they said or didn't say.
A negative relationship with a parent doesn't need to define you. As mature adults, we have the power to set the course of our lives.
Raising activity in the regions of our brain associated with planning and our sense of reward, we can experience for longer periods of time.
Look around and see what you can control in your life. Today. Make that small behavior change or attitude change today.
Grow your own life.
If you could make a documentary about any subject, what would you choose and why?
We don't own our children. We shape them and introduce them to the world and then we set them free.
Shit really does happen. Sometimes for days or weeks or years in a row. You have to believe that it will come to an end, or it never does.
Believe in yourself. No one else will if you won't.
Rethink endings. When you think you've reached one, make it a middle instead.
They go away, yes. But not forever. Just for longer and longer. Transitioning to their absence is about shifting the focus, allowing yourself to reevaluate your own needs hopes and dreams.
We must not dwell. It's not about what you didn't do that matters; it's about where you go from here. And you'll never get anywhere if you beat yourself up.
March 25, 2021
This had some good insights and great stuff to think about as I prepare for my youngest to leave home in the fall. However, the organization seemed a little haphazard, and most of the career advice was not applicable to my situation. I also had a hard time relating to most of the women the author interviewed, as they were mostly working moms and professional writers/journalists and entertainment execs. I think there was only one who had chosen to stay at home full time, and she made a comment about regretting that choice as "enforcing negative stereotypes about women." That one stabbed me right in the heart. The book was definitely worth reading, though, and inspired me to do a couple of things that I wouldn't have otherwise.
December 30, 2016
Half of this book is just quotes from people that are struggling with their kids leaving to go to college. The other half is hokey advice, mostly targeted at stay at home parents.
May 1, 2018
I didn’t find this book that helpful. Most seemed very obvious
August 12, 2021
With twins entering their senior year of high school, I am doing a lot of thinking about my 4th life chapter, which I call "empty nest" (chapter 1: childhood and college, chapter 2) professional focus, chapter 3) marriage and parenting, and soon, chapter 4) empty nest).
I really enjoyed how this author normalizes the range of emotions that moms may feel when coming up to the empty nest. You don't have to feel weird about your anxiety and lack of a full plan for the empty nest time - it is totally normal to feel this way and most women do! We all know we need to rediscover our own interests, but Ms. Shultz does a good job of talking about how to do that and process your emotions on a big range of topics related to the empty nest. I found it really interesting, motivating and generating hope for a positive transition for me personally.
I recommend reading this in advance of kids moving out and start "pre-processing" your fears and feelings about the transition so they won't be quite so overwhelming as you get closer to it happening. 4.5 stars.
I really enjoyed how this author normalizes the range of emotions that moms may feel when coming up to the empty nest. You don't have to feel weird about your anxiety and lack of a full plan for the empty nest time - it is totally normal to feel this way and most women do! We all know we need to rediscover our own interests, but Ms. Shultz does a good job of talking about how to do that and process your emotions on a big range of topics related to the empty nest. I found it really interesting, motivating and generating hope for a positive transition for me personally.
I recommend reading this in advance of kids moving out and start "pre-processing" your fears and feelings about the transition so they won't be quite so overwhelming as you get closer to it happening. 4.5 stars.
December 12, 2023
Quick read, better than the last empty nest book I read. This one was more of a story rather than explicit advice about situations that may arise when your children leave home.
There were 3 notable quotes or passages:
(From the letter the author wrote to her eldest child upon moving into the dorms the first time) 1. Be the friend you'd like to have. Don't expect to do everything right, right from the start. Actions have repercussions, and people will judge you less sympathetically now that you're on your own.
2. Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago. Progress, not perfection.
3. What you focus on grows in significance. Shift your focus away from how difficult you think it will be to adapt to (your kids) leaving home to more positive and productive thoughts.
There were 3 notable quotes or passages:
(From the letter the author wrote to her eldest child upon moving into the dorms the first time) 1. Be the friend you'd like to have. Don't expect to do everything right, right from the start. Actions have repercussions, and people will judge you less sympathetically now that you're on your own.
2. Just be gentle as you work to free yourself from following old lessons that were given many years ago. Progress, not perfection.
3. What you focus on grows in significance. Shift your focus away from how difficult you think it will be to adapt to (your kids) leaving home to more positive and productive thoughts.
June 14, 2018
Although my "nest" is still full, I am beginning to realize that life goes by fast and soon it will be empty. We still have one college kid at home for breaks (when she isn't traveling the world :) ) and our son has two years of high school. But while driving home from moving our oldest daughter to her first job (post college graduation), I had a moment. Holy moly our lives have been totally wrapped up with our kids. What will things look like when our nest is totally empty? This book was recommended to me and I liked it. Shultz gave some very practical advise and although there were a few times when she went off on some random tirades (her father), overall I thought it was well worth the read.
January 27, 2021
I got this book when I was a new empty nester. The recommendation resonated with me because the author is like me, a writer, blogger, and someone who is reinventing herself. I think the blogger part made me think the chapters would be shorter, easier to sit down with. Instead, the book is organized into 4 parts that feel more like chapters...really, really long chapters. It became daunting to read and, as you can tell by the time it took me to finish the 187 pages of copy (not resources or books referenced), I began to not look forward to reading it.
It is a decent read overall. It has helpful tips, cited sources, and relatable stories.
It is a decent read overall. It has helpful tips, cited sources, and relatable stories.
May 17, 2017
Gave me some good laughs, sorely needed as I am in the grief stage of my empty nest season. It's taken me a year to sink, I've been so busy. I realized that I'd not missed this step of transition, it was simply delayed. Then one morning I woke up and the blues were sitting firmly upon my chest. So, I'm working my way through it, and as books are some of my best friends I decided I'd look to them for some succor and help and compassion. Melissa has a slew of resources at the end of this book, which many will undoubtedly avail themselves of for more of the same.
Good job, Melissa.
Good job, Melissa.
December 29, 2017
A great read about what to expect when your kid goes off to college/leaves the house. I'm a few years away from this, and though I imagine this will be a daunting time for me, Ms. Shultz shows with her down to earth and easy prose that yes, it is a daunting time, but there is much going for it, too. The memoir side made it a bit heart-wrenching, but then the information and research peppered throughout elevate this from what could've been a self-centric navel gazing into something that aims to help other women who will be in the same boat one day.
January 5, 2018
This was such a helpful book. I have four children - two that are actively leaving the nest (one a college freshman and one a high school senior). After staying home to raise my family, I am 19+ years deep of putting others before myself... and I wouldn't change any of it. The question of "what now?!" Is addressed time and time again - regarding finances, marriage, friendships and careers. I will be recommending this book to all of my friends when the time has come for them to "start over". A gentle combination of reality, compassion and humor - and I need it all right now!
August 23, 2018
Although I couldn't relate on every level with Ms. Shultz, I took away some important advice and things to try as I make my way into being an empty-nest parent. Wendy Tremont King was an excellent narrator for this book. She kept the pace just right and made me feel as though I was chatting with a friend.
Full review to come...
*I received a complimentary copy from Tantor Audio. This did not affect my rating and my review is provided voluntarily.*
Full review to come...
*I received a complimentary copy from Tantor Audio. This did not affect my rating and my review is provided voluntarily.*
August 24, 2018
I have three years before our second and last child leaves home, but I'm already starting to question what our lives will look like when that happens. There is surprisingly little out there (in my library, at least) on the topic of being an empty nester. I enjoyed parts of this book, but it didn't really give me the answers I was looking for. Much of it was common sense, and not something new to me.
January 2, 2019
My daughter gave me this book for Christmas and was worried it would hurt my feeling. However, it did the opposite! It set me free from guilt, worry and gave me the validation needed to forgive myself for wallowing in my grief as each child has left for college. The author's mix of humor with reality was freeing. I shed tears and laughed as I raced through the pages. I recommend this book to any parent who is getting ready for their child/children to leave for college.
June 25, 2021
This was a great book. It's chock full of advice from empty nester moms who are professional writers, producers, and bloggers. Melissa Schultz put into words like no other what it feels like to have the kids grow up and leave home. Nothing short than having your heart go walking around outside your body. I'd recommend this book to any mom who is struggling with the transition from being mom to being herself again.
January 7, 2024
Excellent book
This book has all the ingredients to make it one of my favorites and cherished. It reflects my feelings and thoughts so purely, with so much depth and humor at the same time. Makes you laugh, cry and reflect in such a genuine way. I'm deeply thankful to this great author who I have no doubt is a great person as well. Thank you very much for such a beautiful journey.
Judith
This book has all the ingredients to make it one of my favorites and cherished. It reflects my feelings and thoughts so purely, with so much depth and humor at the same time. Makes you laugh, cry and reflect in such a genuine way. I'm deeply thankful to this great author who I have no doubt is a great person as well. Thank you very much for such a beautiful journey.
Judith
August 6, 2024
I hate writing negative reviews, so I'll make this one short. This book was a disappointment. I read the whole thing, hoping it had something good to offer at some point - maybe a little inspiration or friendly encouragement - but it never did. It was mostly recycled blog posts with very little emotion, no warmth at all. It didn't really tell me anything that I couldn't figure out on my own, and it made the empty-nest future seem bleak and flavorless.
October 25, 2020
I’m glad I read this since my only child, my son, potentially will be moving away next year. I’ve been struggling and overall this book was helpful and had some great tips and reminders about the transition. But some of the personal stories were too long and the end about reinventing yourself doesn’t apply. Still, very helpful and worth the read.
September 30, 2018
I didn't really get anything out of this that I didn't already know, and there was a lot more just about the authors personal life, that I didn't really think had anything to do with this topic..... but overall it was a fairly good read.
May 9, 2019
This is a good book to skim. Many of the blog excerpts were not as relevant as the main text of the book and not all sections were helpful, but there were enough helpful bits that I don't regret reading the book.
December 16, 2019
While there is some very helpful information in this book, it only pointed out what I already knew about how to adjust from being "Mom" to being me. Someone else may find more take aways from the reading than I did and give it more stars.
March 22, 2021
I liked the author's writing style and her honest feelings about being an empty nester. However, I didn't like how this seemed to be a compilation of posts that the author had previously published. I was intrigued by the author's story but left wanting more - there were many loose ends.
July 19, 2022
Listened to this on audio. I have triplets heading off to college this fall so wanted something to cheer me up for the empty nest I will be experiencing coming next month. It was a light read and great to know that I am not alone in the feeling of grief.
October 2, 2024
There are parts of this that I really want to review again. My first child has left for college, and I'm ready to look forward to what my life might look like in five short years when my baby finally leaves.
September 12, 2017
Great insights and resources to reinvent your life after kids. After dropping off my eldest child at college, I really appreciated reading this book.
October 14, 2017
Great to read BEFORE your first/last child goes off to college.
June 26, 2018
this became my bible when my 16 year old son left for college - It literally made me laugh cry smile and helped me survive
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews