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309 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 12, 2017
“Don’t you want to be happy, Ace?”
And because he was my best and only friend, I said, “I don’t know. I don’t remember what it feels like anymore.”
That was the strange thing about misery: it loved company.
“How can you not know I love you, Archer? I’ve dreamt of you every night that you weren’t by my side. I can’t imagine someone knowing you like I have and not loving you.”
“And maybe I have. Maybe it’s the change of seasons this year, or maybe it’s been enough time. But I’m finally feeling like the wound, right now, isn’t quite as deep as it used to be.”
Maybe if this universe of ours was different. Maybe if everything was different and the sky was the ocean and the clouds were the soil. Maybe if life hadn't engrained me with apprehension or uncertainty or a longing for some things I obviously could not have. Maybe then, we would've had words for each other.
"One morning I woke, but the two halves of my heart did not.
"Around him, the world continued. Around me, the world must’ve continued as well. But it didn’t feel like it.[...]
He might’ve still looked like an angel, but even from a mile away, I would be able to see the devil on his shoulder. Archer."
⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Does Time Heal All Wounds?*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱
His eyes sparkled but his face remained stern. I blinked at him, heart racing, head spinning. “Do I want to know why you so badly want me to go with you?”
“You know why.” His voice sounded gentle—too gentle—and I had to stare at the wall behind his head.
This was what it came down to.
The same thing it always came down to: I, Archer Hart, couldn’t be trusted to be alone because my best friend thought the moment I was, I’d pull out my father’s old Smith & Wesson and blow my brains out.
I leaned forward, head in my hands, and breathed in deeply, letting the smell of dark coffee waft around me. Danny didn’t say a word, and I wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse.
Eventually, when we both knew I was breaking, I nodded into my hands.
Sometimes words weren't enough. Sometimes words weren't anything at all.
Sometimes words meant nothing. Other times, they meant far, far too much.