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Stuck in the Loop: My Showdown with OCD
My book “Stuck in the Loop: My Showdown with OCD” concerns Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Intrusive Thoughts) and the effect of this destructive and debilitating illness on the life of an ordinary, intelligent, thoughtful woman.
What this book is not – a pity party, a happiness hoover, a depressing catalogue of the life of someone with mental illness, a voyeuristic view into the world of someone who has been driven to the edge.
What it is – a lively, serious, funny exposition of my mental illness, a genuine walk through therapy, the life story of a fighter who is gradually turning life around for the better.
OCD is a little understood, chronic illness affecting at least one in a hundred people. The popular myth that we can all be “a little OCD” at times needs to be busted beyond repair. Thankfully this is a great time for mental health with programmes, articles, interviews and blogs by people who want it to have the high profile it has deserved for so long. Other authors have written movingly and eloquently on their experiences of mental illness and recovery. My book is angled slightly differently – it covers a lifetime (from one to 57 years of age) and it details my engagement, session by session, in exposure response prevention therapy - a crucial tool for conquering this illness.
I feel ideally qualified to talk about this particular virulent strain of OCD as it has tarnished my life and scuppered my opportunities on countless occasions for over 40 years. It seemed completely logical to me to write about this subject and I began the book a number of weeks into my therapy. It has been a cathartic experience, but this has been the by-product rather than the objective of my work.
In this book I want to reach out to people who need to know they are part of an enormous and rather special club of average, decent, sensitive individuals who have the misfortune to suffer from a condition which is a complete ball-breaker. Some of them will know or suspect that OCD is their problem, some will know that they have a gigantic problem but not be able to put a name to it. .
In the first part of the book I use a multitude of short chapters to capture the different stages of my life in the build up to my OCD meltdown. I realise, sometimes even as I write, my likely predisposition to OCD through genetics and upbringing. I recall the fearful times, the desperate times but also the joyous times and days of enlightenment.
The second part of the book concerns my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – a programme of 18 sessions with a grounded and expert therapist. Each session has its own chapter and the reader will get to grips with the nitty-gritty of the overbearing tyrant which is OCD and my battle over six months to put right the cognitive and behavioural distortions of a lifetime.
The third part concerns the transformational effect of this therapy on my life, my relationships, my work, my energy and my love of life itself. This is a short section as this book is not about how great my life might become. It has one aim –to encourage other sufferers to seek the help which can bring them out of the prison and into the real living, breathing, laughing world which is all around them.
“This is an excellent book which is extremely well written in a detailed and accessible manner. I commend you highly for your courage in facing down the OCD. As you wrote in your book; “my OCD is part of me, but it is not the most powerful part of me”, hence, your courage and immense resolve enabled you to recruit the resources of the most powerful part of yourself to embark on the successful journey with your therapist as an active participant in change.
You have been frank and honest with a generosity of spirit.
What this book is not – a pity party, a happiness hoover, a depressing catalogue of the life of someone with mental illness, a voyeuristic view into the world of someone who has been driven to the edge.
What it is – a lively, serious, funny exposition of my mental illness, a genuine walk through therapy, the life story of a fighter who is gradually turning life around for the better.
OCD is a little understood, chronic illness affecting at least one in a hundred people. The popular myth that we can all be “a little OCD” at times needs to be busted beyond repair. Thankfully this is a great time for mental health with programmes, articles, interviews and blogs by people who want it to have the high profile it has deserved for so long. Other authors have written movingly and eloquently on their experiences of mental illness and recovery. My book is angled slightly differently – it covers a lifetime (from one to 57 years of age) and it details my engagement, session by session, in exposure response prevention therapy - a crucial tool for conquering this illness.
I feel ideally qualified to talk about this particular virulent strain of OCD as it has tarnished my life and scuppered my opportunities on countless occasions for over 40 years. It seemed completely logical to me to write about this subject and I began the book a number of weeks into my therapy. It has been a cathartic experience, but this has been the by-product rather than the objective of my work.
In this book I want to reach out to people who need to know they are part of an enormous and rather special club of average, decent, sensitive individuals who have the misfortune to suffer from a condition which is a complete ball-breaker. Some of them will know or suspect that OCD is their problem, some will know that they have a gigantic problem but not be able to put a name to it. .
In the first part of the book I use a multitude of short chapters to capture the different stages of my life in the build up to my OCD meltdown. I realise, sometimes even as I write, my likely predisposition to OCD through genetics and upbringing. I recall the fearful times, the desperate times but also the joyous times and days of enlightenment.
The second part of the book concerns my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – a programme of 18 sessions with a grounded and expert therapist. Each session has its own chapter and the reader will get to grips with the nitty-gritty of the overbearing tyrant which is OCD and my battle over six months to put right the cognitive and behavioural distortions of a lifetime.
The third part concerns the transformational effect of this therapy on my life, my relationships, my work, my energy and my love of life itself. This is a short section as this book is not about how great my life might become. It has one aim –to encourage other sufferers to seek the help which can bring them out of the prison and into the real living, breathing, laughing world which is all around them.
“This is an excellent book which is extremely well written in a detailed and accessible manner. I commend you highly for your courage in facing down the OCD. As you wrote in your book; “my OCD is part of me, but it is not the most powerful part of me”, hence, your courage and immense resolve enabled you to recruit the resources of the most powerful part of yourself to embark on the successful journey with your therapist as an active participant in change.
You have been frank and honest with a generosity of spirit.
96 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 18, 2017
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