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24/7 Demon Mart #1

The Graveyard Shift

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A frightfully funny novel for fans of Tom Holt and Christopher Moore.

Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

The gate needs a hero, but Lloyd's a zero, a loser with a capital L. He's ten thousand dollars in debt and lives with his parents. He's been fired from every job he's ever had. He was the first thing his ex-girlfriend tossed to the curb when she upgraded her life.

He had no money and no prospects until the night he accidentally slayed a one-eyed tentacle monster hellbent on world domination. And, impressed by his pure heart and bravery, the suave but devilish owner of the 24/7 Dairy Mart gave Lloyd a job.

His coworkers—a karate-chopping bombshell and a talking roach with a really bad attitude—need Lloyd's help to keep the demons in line. Can he man up and become a world-saving hero? Or, will he remain a couch-surfing zero? The fate of the world is on the line. What could go wrong?

24/7 Demon Mart is a new horror-comedy / humorous fantasy series for fans of
A. Lee Martinez
David Wong
Tom Holt
Christopher Moore
Mark Cain
Heide Goody

If you love Exorcist-level demon vomit, brooding Lovecraftian hell monsters, and plenty of laughs, this novel is for you. The Graveyard Shift is the first book in the 24/7 Demon Mart horror-comedy and dark satire fantasy series.

214 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 15, 2019

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About the author

D.M. Guay

18 books309 followers
DM Guay is a big geek, huge horror fan, and loves stand-up comedy. She mish-mashes her love of all that's scary/gory/geeky/funny into stories about creeps and critters, ghouls and ghosts, and all of the unseemly things that go bump in the night.

Denise lives in Ohio, loves Godzilla, tiki bars, liquid eyeliner, 24-hour horror movie festivals. She has stage 4 kidney cancer, despite being young and having no risk factors. She donates some of her book profits to the Kidney Cancer Research Alliance. (KCCURE.org).

She also runs "Monsters In Your Inbox" a monthly round-up of B-horror movies, horror comedy books, and weird news.

Website: http://dmguay.com
Monsters in your Inbox: http://eepurl.com/czs0Rr
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B06XVFZ2X2
FB:https://www.facebook.com/DMGuay
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DMGuay

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5 stars
772 (41%)
4 stars
653 (35%)
3 stars
305 (16%)
2 stars
77 (4%)
1 star
37 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 203 reviews
Profile Image for Frank.
Author 35 books126 followers
August 1, 2022
THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT had a lot of heart and good intentions but it failed in execution. This is the type of story that's right up my alley, a fun monster romp that doesn't take itself too seriously. Unfortunately, I found the narrative clunky and over-repetitive. If this went through a solid editing process, it could sparkle. Instead, it falls flat for me.

The premise is very good. An unsuspecting, directionless kid takes on a job at a convivence store. Thinking its just another throwaway job to keep his mom happy and bills paid, he finds the job pays ridiculously well and is chock full of corporate level perks. Of course, he's unaware of the hazards he must face every shift. Turns out, the 24/7 Demon Mart is a gate to Hell after mindnight. And the demons stop in for more than just a pack of smokes and a Red Bull.

The book is loaded with fun characters. The manager is a talking cockroach. One of the regulars is a giant centipede and the doughnuts in the doughnut case are not to be eaten at any cost. There's even a magic 8-ball that doubles as a guardian angel.

Everything, on paper, should make this a home run read for me. But, its the writing. Barely passable. I wanted to quit the book many, many times. But I fought through. There's a ton of potential for a great book here but it needs a lot of cleaning up.

There are more books in the 24/7 Demon Mart series. I just don't see myself following through on the rest based on the rough writing in this one. I hope D.M. Guay has gotten better with time or at least get's someone to give her an honest edit. Her storytelling has got tons of potential with improvement.
Profile Image for Jareth Navratil.
Author 1 book100 followers
July 8, 2024
This book had zero right being as good as it was. It felt like Kevin Smith decided to fuse Clerks and Dogma Dragonball Z style. The characters were beautifully fleshed out and I felt genuinely concerned for their well-being amidst the numerous hellgate fiascos they faced.
Profile Image for Eli Hornyak.
294 reviews46 followers
July 7, 2022
Very good read. Definitely laughed out loud. Fast paced and fun.
Profile Image for Janet (iamltr).
1,188 reviews69 followers
September 28, 2022
I dunno how to start this one. I laughed my butt off for most of this, but the main MC, Lloyd is really unlikable. I mean, he is a "My Dear" fedora dude in the flesh and I would think he spent a lot of time on certain sections of reddit, because that is how he comes across. He dropped out of college, got kicked out of his girlfriends apartment, and now lives with his parents. He also owes a lot of money to everyone. He has no job, no money, no self respect. Nothing.

One day, he decided to go get a slushie with the remaining money he had only to find out that he must have lost some of the coins as he rode his bike to the store. Having already made the slushie, he was thinking of stealing it. Then some weird stuff happens and suddenly he has a job. Now mind you, he never reads the manual for the job so he was thinking that this was a normal store and that is not what he got.

He literally spent the rest of the book learning things he would have already known had he read the book. Or asked questions. Or even used two brain cells.

I have no idea why, but I was sucked into this audio and this new to me narrator, and I am about to start book two.
Profile Image for Natalie .
3,087 reviews30 followers
November 25, 2021
I saw horror comedy pop on the recs and thought I’d give it a go. Was not disappointed. It was nuts and only got crazier with each new encounter. I’m not sure if I felt sorry for Lloyd or not. He’s slowly becoming a hero and I liked how he takes down nearly every foe with food. Favourite character was Faust and just how easily he gets what he wants. The guardian angel was entertaining and the demon Caroline was just creepy. Curious about Kevin’s roommates. Looking forward to the next one.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
2,214 reviews52 followers
June 20, 2020
Main character is a moron.

That sums up how far I got into this book. Having a lazy, forgetful and idiotic main character for a humorous book is funny and, to a certain point, expected. But this guy is too blind, too lazy and too idiotic to bother reading about. I just feel that he is a waste of my time and that ruins what could have been a wonderful reading experience
Profile Image for Chris Tullbane.
Author 19 books183 followers
October 28, 2022
In which a hero's journey is more like an ultramarathon... and Lloyd Wallace hates cardio.

This was a delightful read. Quick, imaginative, and funny, with a great cast and a ton of potential for sequels (some of which are already out, waiting for me to read them). I don't think anyone who's ever been to a 24/7 quickmart--especially after dark--would be totally shocked to find it contained a portal to hell, and D.M. leverages that central idea to great effect in introducing not just those tasked with monitoring the portal but also the wide range of creatures who come through it.

The central protagonist, Lloyd, would score somewhere in the negatives on the zero-to-hero scale, but he's helpfully surrounded by a delightful cast of characters who make up for at least some of his many inadequacies. It also helps that his primary concerns (debt, failed romance, and a lack of both direction and motivation) are relatable to a lot of us. By the end of the first book, he hasn't evolved so much as recognized that maybe he needs to, and that sets a great foundation for future books in the series.

Definitely a fun one! I'm excited to see where the story goes.
Profile Image for Brenda Hudson.
146 reviews1 follower
October 20, 2021
I wanted to like this. It had everything I normally like in a book, humor, monsters, good concept, but the protagonist’s inner and outer dialogue irritated me. No one is that stupid or clueless. Even with things spelled out he never learned. Really disappointed because was looking forward to reading the series. Unfortunately don’t know if I can attempt the next book.
Profile Image for Katherine  R.
283 reviews2 followers
February 26, 2022
We didn't finish this book. The main character is so stupid or the author didn't edit enough because the number of times he freaks out or goes over the same details got to the point of exasperation before we'd hit 30% of the book. Also, main character is a self-proclaimed loser and it was hard to listen to all the ways in which he was NOT improving.
Profile Image for Cujo.
196 reviews12 followers
April 23, 2022
1st book in a series that I already know I'm going to love and one that I hope has an extremely long life. It is filled with likeable, almost believable characters who it is very hard not to root for. Hell, I even found myself rooting for the love interests which is something I hardly ever, ever so. I must be getting soft in my old age
Profile Image for Mark Cain.
Author 25 books217 followers
December 2, 2019
Crazy fun story!

A wacky tale of a young man, down on his luck, who discovers his inner hero in the aisles of a convenience store. Odd characters, odder situations. Lovecraft monsters and Bruce Campbell attitude!
Profile Image for Nico.
377 reviews16 followers
October 11, 2021
Audiobook review: I stumbled upon this self-published book and I have no regrets, since I’m a big ol’ kid and I love shows like Archer, Futurama (in fact the main character reminded me of Fry) or really anything on Adult Swim. Monsters, demons, talking cockroaches, a motley crew - I’m all in. If you don’t want to read/listen to something with incessant anti-fatness as a device to represent sloth (my opinion of course) or don’t like adult cartoons, especially the crude ones, my guess is you will not enjoy this one. This was excellent as an audiobook and I wonder if that elevated the book for me, regardless I’ll be continuing on and hoping this gets turned into an adult cartoon.
Profile Image for Scott Burtness.
Author 16 books208 followers
March 17, 2022
Metal!

Fantastic world, crazy fun characters, bonkers monsters, wickedly funny story… This was a hell (ha pun intended) of a good start to what’s likely to be a damned (ha pun intended) enjoyable series. Must-read for fans of horror-comedy.
36 reviews
March 26, 2023
This book wasn't for me. Too much satire, not enough story. It was also incredibly repetitive. I'm sure to others who like this type of book it's great. I'm basically categorizing this as a DNF as I skimmed the last 17%.
Profile Image for Monica Erlano.
16 reviews
October 1, 2024
the most questionable 4 i've ever given 🤔

while i was reading this book i'd take pauses just to sht talk the characters sometimes. everything was just so preposterous. my eyes hurt from eye-rolling too much. i guess the premise is so wild, i shoulda seen that coming. basically, 3 characters guard the portal to hell that's disguised as a backroom in a convenience store. Lloyd, the main character is so unlikeable... at first. literally, every time he tells us to "not judge" him for his priorities that were CLEARLY out of whack, i judged him even more. Actually PLENTY characters were quite unlikeable. but somehow... i love this book?

IDK i'm as confused as Lloyd was when he started his job.
Profile Image for Olivia Ambs.
14 reviews
August 28, 2024
This book was so funny! It had a really good base for a whole little series, and Lloyd and DeeDee and Kevin are really good characters. It’s a stupid and funny horror book, and I love that type of genere in horror!! So good
Profile Image for Gilbert Stack.
Author 75 books76 followers
December 5, 2021
I have a confession to make. While I read a fair number of books that are supposed to be comedic at least in part, the comedy often escapes me for most of the novel. That wasn’t the case here in The Graveyard Shift. I was laughing very early in the book and sharing the jokes with my son who would laugh uproariously at them second hand. Guay has a gift for the absurd and it really works in this first book of his 24/7 Demon Mart series.

The hero (Lloyd) is a loser. It’s not nice to say, but even he recognizes it. His major problem would appear to be pure laziness coupled with a remarkable lack of even a modicum of ambition. He seems essentially happy living in his parents’ house, playing video games, and going every night to a convenience store to sample one of their 100+ varieties of slushies. Oh, and I should also mention, that he is really, really, stupid. I’m not saying he has a low IQ, just that he’s really amazingly dumb—but weirdly enough, in a totally believable way.

So here’s the set up. Lloyd goes into the convenience store where he has a schoolboy crush on one of the attendants who probably doesn’t know he exists and while he’s there a demonic snake creature appears and tries to escape the store and he helps his fantasy crush stop this from happening. In addition to the snake creature, genuine magic is displayed. Keep this in mind for later.

Long and the short of it is that the store owner arrives and offers our hero a job at an extraordinarily good hourly rate. Since he is in desperate debt, and it will let him be near his crush, our hero accepts. It is very clear to the reader, and in all fairness, the demon hiring Lloyd tells him, that this store is not a normal place. There are genuine threats to life and limb here. There are demons involved. But Lloyd immediately zones out on the training video and never does get around to reading his employee handbook which tells him how to survive these dangers. He also has a really hard time accepting that the supernatural is in play in this store. All of which produces hilarious situation after hilarious situation. It’s as if he just can’t process magic and the supernatural even when he keeps seeing it.

The author also manages to show Lloyd growing as a person without having him overcome the qualities that have made him basically unsuccessful so far in life. So it’s sweet when his mother’s sheer joy that he has gotten a job keeps him from quitting. And it’s also nice to see him starting to want the things that other adults around him desire. Oh, and I should mention that even though Lloyd thinks he is a coward, he’s actually intensely brave and steps up when he has to. And again, credit to the author, this is done in a very believable way.

So, to sum up this review, I really enjoyed this book and am seriously looking forward to reading the rest of the series.

If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.
Profile Image for Si.
24 reviews
December 21, 2022
This should definitely be marked as Young Adult, or more correctly, suitable for your annoying 12 year old brother. Fart, butt, puke and boob jokes will be right up his alley, but the sheer number of mentions of “ice Cream Cake” gave this book 1 star, we get it DM, you were stoned whilst writing and really needed some frozen confectionary.

The casually racist “French Exit” ( alluding to the French being rude and leaving without saying goodbye, Google it if you doubt it’s origin) would have taken that 1 star away, if I could rate something as ZERO stars.

It has been (over?) said that men can’t write convincing female characters, this book is proof that this works both ways, female adults can’t write convincing man-baby characters.

I’m so glad that I paid nothing for this trash, it being on the Kindle Unlimited thing…. If you want to read a truly funny, similar genre series, with actual plot and likeable characters, check out Jack Townsends “Tales from the Gas Station” that’s how you write a loser 20something in a dead-end supernatural night shift job
May 7, 2022
WOW!

I LOVED this book! There's a loser dude named Lloyd who can't hold on to a job, a ninja co-worker named DeeDee, and a moody talking cockroach named Kevin... And that's just the employees. What could be better? Oh yea! Throw in some magic, a one-eyed monster, and sketchy (yet delicious looking) doughnuts and you have a fun and interesting first story in the series.

Kevin and DeeDee work at the 24 Hour Demon Mart guarding a gate to where else; HELL. One night in the middle of protecting the humans of the world from a one-eyed monster, in strolls Lloyd... From that moment on hilarity and heroism ensues. With these three guarding the gate, what could possibly go wrong? They might even save the world a time or two... If Lloyd would just read his damn employee manual.

Profile Image for charlie.
76 reviews2 followers
October 17, 2023
awful. just awful. constantly repeating the same lines, the same information; it felt like reading the same chapter over and over again. and Lloyd is just fucking UNBERAAABLEEE. SOOOOO fucking ANNOYINGGGGGGG 😭

i can’t believe we actually kept reading this. we may as well have just read chapter one and imagined how the rest of it goes and come up with a better story. at least that way we wouldn’t have read the same thing OVER and OVER and OVER interspersed with the worst comedy i’ve read in a book in ages. awful
Profile Image for Andrew Shaffer.
Author 44 books1,484 followers
October 24, 2021
The action and world-building is campy and fun. The main character is an irritating loser with zero redeeming qualities, though, which is a drag—I’d like to see him grow as a character in subsequent books, or see this world through a different character’s eyes. A writer to watch if you like Christopher Moore and Douglas Adams.
October 29, 2021
I've read this book before. I was called Tales from the Gas Station by Jack Townsand. Not to say it is a bad book. If I hadn't read the Tales series, then I may have liked this more. I just felt like I was reading a poorer version.
Profile Image for Kathy.
2,816 reviews18 followers
November 1, 2021
1.5 stars. Don't compare something to Christopher Moore unless it's amazing. This was a fun monster book but the main character's willful laziness wore me out.
Profile Image for John.
291 reviews
December 9, 2021
What could happen guarding the gates of Hell?

This book is outrageously funny. It will make you smile, snort,roll your eyes and laugh out loud. The story is told in the 1st person,and the great humour is in the main character's (Lloyd) mental dialogue throughout the story. The monsters are extreme in character and description.
The storyline includes the development of Lloyd's meaning in life, beginning of a romance and the fight between good and evil. I'm not going to give a run-down of the story, because the blurb says enough and you really should read it yourself.
Recommended read.
Profile Image for Bunny Cakes.
268 reviews4 followers
November 18, 2022
A wonderful parody

A wonderful parody of every awful male character I can think of. The story was put together quite well and I look forward to the next book!
Profile Image for Jennifer .
682 reviews14 followers
December 1, 2022
Super cute (at times) but always funny! Will definitely continue the series. I'd totally work at a demon mart if it paid off all my debt! Sign me up! Lol. Listening on Audible.
Profile Image for Simon Burdus.
279 reviews
September 3, 2023
Very good read. Fast paced and fun. Great characterisation. Excellent start to the series.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 203 reviews

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