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We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America
The shocking, deeply reported story of a murder-suicide that claimed the lives of six children—and a searing indictment of the American foster care system.
On March 26, 2018, rescue workers discovered a crumpled SUV and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff beside the Pacific Coast Highway. Investigators soon concluded that the crash was a murder-suicide, but there was more to the story: Jennifer and Sarah Hart, it turned out, were a white married couple who had adopted the six Black children from two different Texas families in 2006 and 2008. Behind the family's loving facade, however, was a pattern of abuse and neglect that went ignored as the couple withdrew the children from school and moved across the country. It soon became apparent that the State of Texas knew very little about the two individuals to whom it had given custody of six children—with fateful consequences.
In the manner of Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's Random Family and other classic works of investigative journalism, Roxanna Asgarian’s We Were Once a Family is a revelation of vulnerable lives; it is also a shattering exposé of the foster care and adoption systems that produced this tragedy. As a journalist in Houston, Asgarian became the first reporter to put the children’s birth families at the center of the story. We follow the author as she runs up against the intransigence of a state agency that removes tens of thousands of kids from homes each year in the name of child welfare, while often failing to consider alternatives. Her reporting uncovers persistent racial biases and corruption as children of color are separated from birth parents without proper cause. The result is a riveting narrative and a deeply reported indictment of a system that continues to fail America’s most vulnerable children while upending the lives of their families.
On March 26, 2018, rescue workers discovered a crumpled SUV and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff beside the Pacific Coast Highway. Investigators soon concluded that the crash was a murder-suicide, but there was more to the story: Jennifer and Sarah Hart, it turned out, were a white married couple who had adopted the six Black children from two different Texas families in 2006 and 2008. Behind the family's loving facade, however, was a pattern of abuse and neglect that went ignored as the couple withdrew the children from school and moved across the country. It soon became apparent that the State of Texas knew very little about the two individuals to whom it had given custody of six children—with fateful consequences.
In the manner of Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's Random Family and other classic works of investigative journalism, Roxanna Asgarian’s We Were Once a Family is a revelation of vulnerable lives; it is also a shattering exposé of the foster care and adoption systems that produced this tragedy. As a journalist in Houston, Asgarian became the first reporter to put the children’s birth families at the center of the story. We follow the author as she runs up against the intransigence of a state agency that removes tens of thousands of kids from homes each year in the name of child welfare, while often failing to consider alternatives. Her reporting uncovers persistent racial biases and corruption as children of color are separated from birth parents without proper cause. The result is a riveting narrative and a deeply reported indictment of a system that continues to fail America’s most vulnerable children while upending the lives of their families.
322 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 14, 2023
About the author
Roxanna Asgarian
1 book81 followersRoxanna Asgarian is a Texas-based independent journalist who writes about child welfare and the law. Her work has appeared in The Washington Post, New York, and Texas Monthly, among other publications. She received the 2022 J. Anthony Lukas Work-in-Progress Award for We Were Once a Family.
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May 6, 2023
We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America – Roxanna Asgarian – 2023 –
The tragic deaths involving a family of eight and the failure of state child welfare agencies that failed to protect the adopted children involved: Markis,19; Hanna, 16; Devonte, 15; Jeremiah, 14; Abigail, 14; Ciera, 12; is the focus of this critical and disturbing narrative. On March 26, 2018 California state investigators found the wreckage of a family SUV along the Pacific Coast Highway. The driver of the car had accelerated, no skid marks were found, huge amounts of Benadryl were listed in toxicology reports of the children’s bodies. The crash and deaths were a deliberate act and determined to be a murder-suicide by the adoptive parents Sara and Jennifer Hart.
The massive media coverage that followed was intense. Roxanna Asgarian, a court journalist for The Texas Tribune, (Houston) studied and researched the Hart adoption case for nearly five years for this book. She was placed in an unfortunate position to tell the birth families in Texas of their children’s deaths, they were never informed. The children were forcibly removed from their birth families in Texas (2006-08) and child custody rights were immediately terminated. The Adoption and Safe Families Act (1997) that required a family reunification plan with minimal time spent in foster care was blatantly disregarded and ignored by state officials. The children were placed on the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange for fast-track adoption as soon as possible. It was never determined why a white out of state lesbian couple would be more suitable parents for six traumatized children of color some with learning disabilities and all with a great need for health, social, and educational support services.
Before the children were withdrawn from public schools, the Hart’s were reported to Child Protective Services six times between 2010-11 and in that time frame Sara Hart was charged with Domestic Violence and received a 90-day suspended sentence with a year’s probation. The Hart’s may have avoided further notice and questioning by child welfare agencies by moving the children from Minnesota to Oregon and Washington state. At the time of the tragedy, a new investigation of the Hart’s had been launched by CPS. There were few records of the children receiving any medical, dental, or educational services. Since the Harts were receiving about half of their family income from the state of Texas adoption subsidies, there should have more accountability and stringent verification and welfare checks into status of the children’s health and safety with federal, state or government agencies.
The state of Texas excessively claimed federal funds for adoption placement services, and seemed to provide inadequate funding for state residential treatment centers (RTC’s) that largely provided services for foster children, at risk youth, and/or wards of the state. Social workers, child experts and advocates agree that RTC’s are not the best placements for children/youth/teens yet they serve a necessary and needed purpose. As a nation, our public officials and law makers often fail to invest the needed funding for child and family services—our national “safety net” is threadbare (when compared to the spending of other developed countries and nations) it remains disgraceful. Through this book readers have a clear understanding of child removal and how outcomes can change or be improved. Our future as a nation depends on it. **With thanks to Farrar Strauss and Giroux for the DDC for the purpose of review.
The tragic deaths involving a family of eight and the failure of state child welfare agencies that failed to protect the adopted children involved: Markis,19; Hanna, 16; Devonte, 15; Jeremiah, 14; Abigail, 14; Ciera, 12; is the focus of this critical and disturbing narrative. On March 26, 2018 California state investigators found the wreckage of a family SUV along the Pacific Coast Highway. The driver of the car had accelerated, no skid marks were found, huge amounts of Benadryl were listed in toxicology reports of the children’s bodies. The crash and deaths were a deliberate act and determined to be a murder-suicide by the adoptive parents Sara and Jennifer Hart.
The massive media coverage that followed was intense. Roxanna Asgarian, a court journalist for The Texas Tribune, (Houston) studied and researched the Hart adoption case for nearly five years for this book. She was placed in an unfortunate position to tell the birth families in Texas of their children’s deaths, they were never informed. The children were forcibly removed from their birth families in Texas (2006-08) and child custody rights were immediately terminated. The Adoption and Safe Families Act (1997) that required a family reunification plan with minimal time spent in foster care was blatantly disregarded and ignored by state officials. The children were placed on the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange for fast-track adoption as soon as possible. It was never determined why a white out of state lesbian couple would be more suitable parents for six traumatized children of color some with learning disabilities and all with a great need for health, social, and educational support services.
Before the children were withdrawn from public schools, the Hart’s were reported to Child Protective Services six times between 2010-11 and in that time frame Sara Hart was charged with Domestic Violence and received a 90-day suspended sentence with a year’s probation. The Hart’s may have avoided further notice and questioning by child welfare agencies by moving the children from Minnesota to Oregon and Washington state. At the time of the tragedy, a new investigation of the Hart’s had been launched by CPS. There were few records of the children receiving any medical, dental, or educational services. Since the Harts were receiving about half of their family income from the state of Texas adoption subsidies, there should have more accountability and stringent verification and welfare checks into status of the children’s health and safety with federal, state or government agencies.
The state of Texas excessively claimed federal funds for adoption placement services, and seemed to provide inadequate funding for state residential treatment centers (RTC’s) that largely provided services for foster children, at risk youth, and/or wards of the state. Social workers, child experts and advocates agree that RTC’s are not the best placements for children/youth/teens yet they serve a necessary and needed purpose. As a nation, our public officials and law makers often fail to invest the needed funding for child and family services—our national “safety net” is threadbare (when compared to the spending of other developed countries and nations) it remains disgraceful. Through this book readers have a clear understanding of child removal and how outcomes can change or be improved. Our future as a nation depends on it. **With thanks to Farrar Strauss and Giroux for the DDC for the purpose of review.
September 13, 2022
This is 5 star journalism! I’m in awe honestly. I was interested in this story because I’ve had a few friends online tell horrific adoption stories lately and I only knew what we’ve all been told, that adoptive parents are angels and that the terrible, awful, no-good parents just didn’t want their kids. I didn’t realize at the time that I’d heard this story! The Hart family, two moms, and six adopted kids went off a cliff and apparently it was on purpose. It fell out of the news, at least the news I watch, pretty quickly and I hadn’t really thought about it. Just evil, open and shut case. Wow, was I wrong. There is SO much going on here.
The Harts, Jennifer and Sarah(white women; a couple), adopted six kids(all black or mixed race). The kids are two sets of siblings, both sets begin 3 from each family. On the outside it looks kind. Siblings being able to stick together and Jennifer took every opportunity to toot her own horn on Facebook.
Let’s just be frank, these children were stolen from families that wanted them because they were poor(being poor is often mistaken for neglect) and given to abusers who looked better on paper. I had no idea how hard they fought to keep them. It’s absolutely heartbreaking and if it doesn’t show you there is a systemic issue, I don’t know what will. The generational trauma revealed in this book is absolutely harrowing.
This author, a journalist, took the time to get the whole story and to know all of the people involved, warts and all. She is not playing armchair psychologist and this isn’t a cutesy true crime book where she’s trying to get in the mind of these disgusting murderers. Her goal is to shed light on the children, share the stories of their families, and indict the system that failed them all.
These kids were living an absolute nightmare and they were failed by every person meant to protect them. The bio families were punished at every turn and the adoptive moms(faux white saviors) were given every benefit of the doubt and opportunity. It’s unfair and quite frankly, it’s racist. At best, it’s classist. I’m not saying the families are blameless but the systems put in place to help should actually help and not cause more harm because that’s their job.
This is especially important to hear right now because with the overturning of Roe, I’m going to take a wild guess and say these systems will be under even more pressure than they already are.
I don’t know how many times I need to say this, not everyone deserves a child just because they can’t birth one on their own. Keeping the child with family should always be the first priority. It seems counterproductive to pay someone to foster or adopt when you could use those funds, and probably less honestly, to help the mom keep their child.
After the book, I watched a documentary and an ID show about it. I just wanted to put faces to names because this really touched me. This story is going to stick with me and I appreciate the journalist for what she put into this. At a time when the media isn’t portrayed in the best light, it’s refreshing to see a good journalist out there doing the real work.
Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review.
The Harts, Jennifer and Sarah(white women; a couple), adopted six kids(all black or mixed race). The kids are two sets of siblings, both sets begin 3 from each family. On the outside it looks kind. Siblings being able to stick together and Jennifer took every opportunity to toot her own horn on Facebook.
Let’s just be frank, these children were stolen from families that wanted them because they were poor(being poor is often mistaken for neglect) and given to abusers who looked better on paper. I had no idea how hard they fought to keep them. It’s absolutely heartbreaking and if it doesn’t show you there is a systemic issue, I don’t know what will. The generational trauma revealed in this book is absolutely harrowing.
This author, a journalist, took the time to get the whole story and to know all of the people involved, warts and all. She is not playing armchair psychologist and this isn’t a cutesy true crime book where she’s trying to get in the mind of these disgusting murderers. Her goal is to shed light on the children, share the stories of their families, and indict the system that failed them all.
These kids were living an absolute nightmare and they were failed by every person meant to protect them. The bio families were punished at every turn and the adoptive moms(faux white saviors) were given every benefit of the doubt and opportunity. It’s unfair and quite frankly, it’s racist. At best, it’s classist. I’m not saying the families are blameless but the systems put in place to help should actually help and not cause more harm because that’s their job.
This is especially important to hear right now because with the overturning of Roe, I’m going to take a wild guess and say these systems will be under even more pressure than they already are.
I don’t know how many times I need to say this, not everyone deserves a child just because they can’t birth one on their own. Keeping the child with family should always be the first priority. It seems counterproductive to pay someone to foster or adopt when you could use those funds, and probably less honestly, to help the mom keep their child.
After the book, I watched a documentary and an ID show about it. I just wanted to put faces to names because this really touched me. This story is going to stick with me and I appreciate the journalist for what she put into this. At a time when the media isn’t portrayed in the best light, it’s refreshing to see a good journalist out there doing the real work.
Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review.
June 27, 2023
A thoughtful and well-researched book about the foster care and adoption system in the United States, centering the story of two white women who adopted six Black children and proceeded to kill them all in a tragic murder/suicide. Roxanna Asgarian did a great job of discussing the nuances of transracial adoption and highlighting the privilege and abuses of power white adoptive parents can enact, in controlled yet effective prose. I was struck while reading her descriptions of this case about how we often stereotype white women as fragile or dainty or needing of care and protection, which can then obscure instances of when they perpetuate racism such as in this case.
At the same time, Asgarian makes sure to also focus on the six children and their birth families, to not just provide perspective on the two white women in this tragedy. She discusses their experiences with the foster care system and the racism they faced time and time again. Through her journalism and reporting, she makes a convincing case for addressing the root systemic inequities that perpetuate racism and the disempowerment of birth families, particularly Black and brown birth families facing poverty, addiction, and mental illness. All in all, We Were Once a Family is a harrowing and ultimately necessary read.
At the same time, Asgarian makes sure to also focus on the six children and their birth families, to not just provide perspective on the two white women in this tragedy. She discusses their experiences with the foster care system and the racism they faced time and time again. Through her journalism and reporting, she makes a convincing case for addressing the root systemic inequities that perpetuate racism and the disempowerment of birth families, particularly Black and brown birth families facing poverty, addiction, and mental illness. All in all, We Were Once a Family is a harrowing and ultimately necessary read.
July 18, 2024
Non-fiction November
There are a myriad of problems with transracial adoption. Adoptees already grow up with a plethora of problems, before you add in the issue of race.
In this worst case scenario, a white married couple who adopted six Black children from two different Texas families commits murder-suicide, thus ruining the children's only chance at happiness and survival.
According to family and case workers, there were signs of abuse. Why didn't anyone go in and help? Why weren't these children placed with family members?
🎧 Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio
There are a myriad of problems with transracial adoption. Adoptees already grow up with a plethora of problems, before you add in the issue of race.
In this worst case scenario, a white married couple who adopted six Black children from two different Texas families commits murder-suicide, thus ruining the children's only chance at happiness and survival.
According to family and case workers, there were signs of abuse. Why didn't anyone go in and help? Why weren't these children placed with family members?
🎧 Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio
April 4, 2023
This is one of the best things I've read this year. The storytelling, the research, the writing, it is all so so so good. This story is heartbreaking and not easy to read but this book is worthy. These kids and their families deserved better and in writing this book Asgarian gave them a chance. You must read this book.
March 30, 2023
Audiobook….read by Suehyla El-Attar
…..7 hours and 34 minutes
“WHO HAS POWER AND WHO DOESN’T”?
Journalist, Suehyla El-Attar deserves every award she’s considered for and more for the five years of her meticulous investigation and research….
[read the blurb if you don’t know what I’m referring to]
The basic facts…
….March 26, 2018, was a murder-suicide.
….Six adopted Black children from two different families in Texas had died… along with
Sarah and Jennifer Hart, a married white couple, who adopted the children.
….Rescue workers discovered a crumbled SUV, and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff besides the Pacific Coast Highway.
The Bottom Line…
….A HORRIFIC CRIME ….devastating and sad as hell!!!
….the more details we learn, it makes one so damn furious, it’s almost too much to contain.
….SOOOO MANY RED FLAG WARNINGS… about Jennifer and Sarah Hart were ignored!!
….a look at how poverty, neglect, trauma, child abuse, racism, prejudice and injustice of all kinds, and violence — CONTINUES to FAIL children.
….WE NEED MORE …functional - superb - AWAKE - child welfare workers - to keep children from harmful abuse and neglect.
It’s sooo complicated and painful when a mother has substance abuse and the children are removed into a foster care program and or adopted—only to be treated inhumanly— and murdered?/!!!
Roxanna Asgarian, an advocate for children’s rights their safety, and permanency ….almost single-handedly, took on this case — to uncover the TRUTHS ….
“we have a racist child welfare system”.
There are times when we say “THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BOOK” …..and
“THIS IS A CAUSE WORTH ADVOCATING FOR”…..
Well,
THIS IS!!!! > THAT BOOK!
DYSFUNCTIONAL child welfare system has been EXPOSED!!!
We can not NOT SEE the truth!!!
There are many personal and detail stories in here…
Blessings to the children -
RIP: Ciera, Abigail, Jeremiah, Devonte, Hannah, and Markis
And ….
the big message is we must SYSTEMICALLY PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!!
Calling for child welfare system REFORM!!!
…..7 hours and 34 minutes
“WHO HAS POWER AND WHO DOESN’T”?
Journalist, Suehyla El-Attar deserves every award she’s considered for and more for the five years of her meticulous investigation and research….
[read the blurb if you don’t know what I’m referring to]
The basic facts…
….March 26, 2018, was a murder-suicide.
….Six adopted Black children from two different families in Texas had died… along with
Sarah and Jennifer Hart, a married white couple, who adopted the children.
….Rescue workers discovered a crumbled SUV, and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff besides the Pacific Coast Highway.
The Bottom Line…
….A HORRIFIC CRIME ….devastating and sad as hell!!!
….the more details we learn, it makes one so damn furious, it’s almost too much to contain.
….SOOOO MANY RED FLAG WARNINGS… about Jennifer and Sarah Hart were ignored!!
….a look at how poverty, neglect, trauma, child abuse, racism, prejudice and injustice of all kinds, and violence — CONTINUES to FAIL children.
….WE NEED MORE …functional - superb - AWAKE - child welfare workers - to keep children from harmful abuse and neglect.
It’s sooo complicated and painful when a mother has substance abuse and the children are removed into a foster care program and or adopted—only to be treated inhumanly— and murdered?/!!!
Roxanna Asgarian, an advocate for children’s rights their safety, and permanency ….almost single-handedly, took on this case — to uncover the TRUTHS ….
“we have a racist child welfare system”.
There are times when we say “THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BOOK” …..and
“THIS IS A CAUSE WORTH ADVOCATING FOR”…..
Well,
THIS IS!!!! > THAT BOOK!
DYSFUNCTIONAL child welfare system has been EXPOSED!!!
We can not NOT SEE the truth!!!
There are many personal and detail stories in here…
Blessings to the children -
RIP: Ciera, Abigail, Jeremiah, Devonte, Hannah, and Markis
And ….
the big message is we must SYSTEMICALLY PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!!
Calling for child welfare system REFORM!!!
May 18, 2023
One of the most valuable, and most gutting, books I have read. Asgarian dives deep into the well-publicized story of 6 Black and mixed-race children murdered by their abusive adoptive White mothers, Jennifer and Sarah Hart. This is not an opportunity to gawk, but a searing look at the way in which the foster care system in many places, and especially in Harris County Texas, acts against the interests of children in the system. People in positions of authority penalize lawyers and caseworkers who try to keep families together. Those same people rig the system so that children are carelessly snatched from Black families while trying desperately to not see or acknowledge clear evidence of abuse when parents are White. I cannot imagine anyone would not be outraged by the way Texas took children from families equipped to care for them, and desperate to care for them, in order to draw down federal funds by removing children, terminating parental rights, and shipping these children to other states. These people in Texas and other places created a cottage industry by selling vulnerable children. The evidence of the ways in which the system conflates poverty and neglect to justify ripping children from their families is also maddening.
Perhaps Asgarian's greatest accomplishment is showing the ways in which the child protection system punished and misrepresented the actions of the loving stable members of the birth families of these six children. They did so in order to send these kids to a home where they were horrifically abused and eventually murdered by their adoptive parents. That same system gave the White adoptive mothers the benefit of the doubt time after time even after complaints were made to Child Protective Services in three different states by teachers and neighbors. Eventually those complaints caught up with the Harts, but it took years during which 6 children were starved and tortured. Even when the abuse allegations caught up with the Harts, officials gave the women enough of a warning that they could get a head start long enough to murder the children and kill themselves.
This is an engrossing and powerful read which gave me information I need to make me a better citizen. I took a star from the rating because Asgarian interprets a lot of data in ways that are intended to support her thesis rather than inform. She is clear that she is not writing this as a true journalist because she has not kept her distance, she has become entangled with these families, so I did not expect things to be even-handed and I was theoretically okay with that. However, it was clear to me that Asgarian stopped asking good questions about the meaning of data on foster/non-family adoption outcomes vs. children who stay with family members. She is too smart, too analytical, to not know what she is doing here. She blames many things on fostering and adoption that might easily be the result of the unstable environments and nutritional and medical want children in the child welfare system have often experienced in the homes of bio parents. She also sees things from an "abolish" perspective when common sense should tell us that we need a child welfare system, just not the one we have built.
In the end the book asks some great questions about how we define good parenting in a culturally chauvinistic way and also effectively shows the ways in which race, class and wealth impact parents' interactions with the system in ways that are harming and killing our most vulnerable children. Highly recommended.
Perhaps Asgarian's greatest accomplishment is showing the ways in which the child protection system punished and misrepresented the actions of the loving stable members of the birth families of these six children. They did so in order to send these kids to a home where they were horrifically abused and eventually murdered by their adoptive parents. That same system gave the White adoptive mothers the benefit of the doubt time after time even after complaints were made to Child Protective Services in three different states by teachers and neighbors. Eventually those complaints caught up with the Harts, but it took years during which 6 children were starved and tortured. Even when the abuse allegations caught up with the Harts, officials gave the women enough of a warning that they could get a head start long enough to murder the children and kill themselves.
This is an engrossing and powerful read which gave me information I need to make me a better citizen. I took a star from the rating because Asgarian interprets a lot of data in ways that are intended to support her thesis rather than inform. She is clear that she is not writing this as a true journalist because she has not kept her distance, she has become entangled with these families, so I did not expect things to be even-handed and I was theoretically okay with that. However, it was clear to me that Asgarian stopped asking good questions about the meaning of data on foster/non-family adoption outcomes vs. children who stay with family members. She is too smart, too analytical, to not know what she is doing here. She blames many things on fostering and adoption that might easily be the result of the unstable environments and nutritional and medical want children in the child welfare system have often experienced in the homes of bio parents. She also sees things from an "abolish" perspective when common sense should tell us that we need a child welfare system, just not the one we have built.
In the end the book asks some great questions about how we define good parenting in a culturally chauvinistic way and also effectively shows the ways in which race, class and wealth impact parents' interactions with the system in ways that are harming and killing our most vulnerable children. Highly recommended.
March 21, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley and MacMillan Audio for the opportunity to listen to this advanced copy. All opinions are my own.
I was very interested in this book coming from a background of working for almost a decade in children’s protective services. I understand that there are bad workers and bad foster parents just as there are really amazing ones and that situations like this do happen. I was interested to hear what led to this event and learn if it was a negligence thing on the part of CPS workers or a mental break of the adoptive parents or what exactly happened. I was expecting a true crime type book involving a protective service case/adoptive family. What I wasn’t expecting was a complete rant about the failures of the entire child protective service field with skewed statistics to prove those points. I know for most people they would read/listen and take this as unbiased fact with the way it is presented and for the general public that hasn’t worked in that field that may lead to enjoying this book more than I did.
I was very interested in this book coming from a background of working for almost a decade in children’s protective services. I understand that there are bad workers and bad foster parents just as there are really amazing ones and that situations like this do happen. I was interested to hear what led to this event and learn if it was a negligence thing on the part of CPS workers or a mental break of the adoptive parents or what exactly happened. I was expecting a true crime type book involving a protective service case/adoptive family. What I wasn’t expecting was a complete rant about the failures of the entire child protective service field with skewed statistics to prove those points. I know for most people they would read/listen and take this as unbiased fact with the way it is presented and for the general public that hasn’t worked in that field that may lead to enjoying this book more than I did.
March 30, 2023
In depth book
She did a great job with a gut wrenching story. Following the heartbreaking whys behind the Hart family children's deaths is just heartbreaking.
Reading about the foster care system and CPS will make you furious.
Full review:
You all probably recall this story. Back in 2018 we all read about how two women who were married drove their van off a cliff in California instantly killing themselves and their 6 adopted children. And then of course, people realized that one of the children, was the boy whose photo went viral for hugging (and crying) a police officer with a sign that said free hugs. FYI, I hated that freaking photo the first time I saw it. Not too derail too much in this review, but I remember going why are people acting like this is good? That child looks traumatized? Why would his mother even allow this. And when I saw more posts from the boy's mother, Jennifer, I just felt very....this woman seems to see this child and the rest of them as props. I was devastated when I heard about the children's death, but got really ticked off when I read all of the ins and outs of this case and how after repeated calls to CPS by teachers, neighbors, and even friends of the Hart women (Jennifer and Sarah) the children were not removed from their home.
I have to say that the author Roxanna Asgarian did a wonderful job with this book. She clearly lays out the backstory of the Hart family: Ciera (aged 12), Abigail (14), Jeremiah (14), Devonte (15), Hannah (16), and Markis (19). Asgarian follows what led each of the children to become part of the Texas foster care system and how they were eventually adopted by Jennifer and Sarah Hart.
I think foremost, Asgarian deserves kudos. Because most of the articles and even that one [terrible] podcast did not dive deep enough into this for me. They either gave sympathy to Jennifer and Sarah, or implied that both women were at the end of their rope trying to care for 6 children. And then the subtle this is the birth family's fault that they ended up in foster care. There was a documentary that I think did the best in-depth dive into this ugliness called, Broken Harts which actually tackled the foster care system in the U.S. and how CPS seems inclined to ignore reports of neglect and abuse by white families. This book also takes a hard look at trans-racial adoption and all of the stumbling blocks with that along with the system that allowed this tragedy to occur.
Asgarian starts off with giving us the backstory of 3 of the children who were taken away from their birth mother, Sherry, Ciera, Devonte, and Jeremiah. Reading about Sherry and her struggles, and the man who considered himself the father of all of her children was heart wrenching. I also felt myself baffled when we find out why the children were taken away from the home they were all living in with their older brother Dontay (who was never adopted) because their birth mother had given up her rights to them, she technically was not allowed to be around them again. When she stayed overnight to watch the kids, a CPS worker found her there and her supervisor told the worker to remove the children because they were in harm's way. The foster mother (relation to the kids through their actual birth father) tried to get the children back, but was blocked. And instead they were eventually adopted by Jennifer and Sarah.
The backstory of the other three children, Abigail, Hannah, and Markis was just as sad.
Asgarian does a great job of also following Dontay's struggles with being in the system and wanting to be back with his family and his brothers and sisters. Feeling as if there is something wrong with him and knowing those in charge, don't care, and won't do anything.
I think the book also does a great job of showing us the backstory of Jennifer and Sarah, and how Jennifer isolated her and then their children. The story of their first and only foster child should have rang some alarm bells and I felt so sorry for this young woman. And then of course as the women get the first 3 children, there are already allegations. But it seems even though Abigail was found to have bruises, and Sarah pled guilty to assaulting her (yep you read that) she just got a year's worth of community service.
Yes, you read that right again, a year's worth of community service.
As I said above, there were allegations by a lot of people, even friends of these two women, and the most that seemed to occur was CPS leaving a card. You of course can be cynical like me and wonder if the fact that two white women adopted six black children meant that CPS was reluctant to do much.
The aftermath of the children's deaths is just as upsetting as what went before. The birth family's are left reeling, and in the case of one of the women's families, denial seems to be rampant.
Asgarian includes along with these details, information about judges, lawyers, the CPS system, history behind some laws, and also as I said the struggles with transracial adoption. I thought this was a solid book, but a very hard read. There is no happy ending. And you just wish things had gone differently for everyone.
She did a great job with a gut wrenching story. Following the heartbreaking whys behind the Hart family children's deaths is just heartbreaking.
Reading about the foster care system and CPS will make you furious.
Full review:
You all probably recall this story. Back in 2018 we all read about how two women who were married drove their van off a cliff in California instantly killing themselves and their 6 adopted children. And then of course, people realized that one of the children, was the boy whose photo went viral for hugging (and crying) a police officer with a sign that said free hugs. FYI, I hated that freaking photo the first time I saw it. Not too derail too much in this review, but I remember going why are people acting like this is good? That child looks traumatized? Why would his mother even allow this. And when I saw more posts from the boy's mother, Jennifer, I just felt very....this woman seems to see this child and the rest of them as props. I was devastated when I heard about the children's death, but got really ticked off when I read all of the ins and outs of this case and how after repeated calls to CPS by teachers, neighbors, and even friends of the Hart women (Jennifer and Sarah) the children were not removed from their home.
I have to say that the author Roxanna Asgarian did a wonderful job with this book. She clearly lays out the backstory of the Hart family: Ciera (aged 12), Abigail (14), Jeremiah (14), Devonte (15), Hannah (16), and Markis (19). Asgarian follows what led each of the children to become part of the Texas foster care system and how they were eventually adopted by Jennifer and Sarah Hart.
I think foremost, Asgarian deserves kudos. Because most of the articles and even that one [terrible] podcast did not dive deep enough into this for me. They either gave sympathy to Jennifer and Sarah, or implied that both women were at the end of their rope trying to care for 6 children. And then the subtle this is the birth family's fault that they ended up in foster care. There was a documentary that I think did the best in-depth dive into this ugliness called, Broken Harts which actually tackled the foster care system in the U.S. and how CPS seems inclined to ignore reports of neglect and abuse by white families. This book also takes a hard look at trans-racial adoption and all of the stumbling blocks with that along with the system that allowed this tragedy to occur.
Asgarian starts off with giving us the backstory of 3 of the children who were taken away from their birth mother, Sherry, Ciera, Devonte, and Jeremiah. Reading about Sherry and her struggles, and the man who considered himself the father of all of her children was heart wrenching. I also felt myself baffled when we find out why the children were taken away from the home they were all living in with their older brother Dontay (who was never adopted) because their birth mother had given up her rights to them, she technically was not allowed to be around them again. When she stayed overnight to watch the kids, a CPS worker found her there and her supervisor told the worker to remove the children because they were in harm's way. The foster mother (relation to the kids through their actual birth father) tried to get the children back, but was blocked. And instead they were eventually adopted by Jennifer and Sarah.
The backstory of the other three children, Abigail, Hannah, and Markis was just as sad.
Asgarian does a great job of also following Dontay's struggles with being in the system and wanting to be back with his family and his brothers and sisters. Feeling as if there is something wrong with him and knowing those in charge, don't care, and won't do anything.
I think the book also does a great job of showing us the backstory of Jennifer and Sarah, and how Jennifer isolated her and then their children. The story of their first and only foster child should have rang some alarm bells and I felt so sorry for this young woman. And then of course as the women get the first 3 children, there are already allegations. But it seems even though Abigail was found to have bruises, and Sarah pled guilty to assaulting her (yep you read that) she just got a year's worth of community service.
Yes, you read that right again, a year's worth of community service.
As I said above, there were allegations by a lot of people, even friends of these two women, and the most that seemed to occur was CPS leaving a card. You of course can be cynical like me and wonder if the fact that two white women adopted six black children meant that CPS was reluctant to do much.
The aftermath of the children's deaths is just as upsetting as what went before. The birth family's are left reeling, and in the case of one of the women's families, denial seems to be rampant.
Asgarian includes along with these details, information about judges, lawyers, the CPS system, history behind some laws, and also as I said the struggles with transracial adoption. I thought this was a solid book, but a very hard read. There is no happy ending. And you just wish things had gone differently for everyone.
March 18, 2023
This book should be mandatory reading for anyone involved in child protection - lawyers, judges and social workers. I was floored by what was allowed in this situation. We have a flawed system of child protection in this country that is tightly tied to the systemic racism that exists in our nation.
My heart breaks for the children and their birth families. We need to have a system that learns how to support families. I don’t know if that is possible but we, as a nation, need to do a better job of trying to make it happen.
My heart breaks for the children and their birth families. We need to have a system that learns how to support families. I don’t know if that is possible but we, as a nation, need to do a better job of trying to make it happen.
March 9, 2023
TW: child abuse
My love of true crime ended with Sarah and Jennifer Hart. I remember sitting in a Whole Foods when the story broke that they had driven their car off a cliff and into the Pacific Ocean, killing themselves and their 6 adopted children. All 6 children were Black. All of them had been abused. As more and more details began to pour out about the mothers, the children were relegated to footnotes. Articles verged on ironic - how had these kids, coming from poverty, landed with a seemingly liberal, conscientious couple, only to end up worse off? I started to get an icky-feeling that I couldn’t explain, but that I also couldn’t explain away. Soon after I drifted away from true crime.
Asgarian reeled me back in with the understanding that these children’s lives did not start when they were adopted. They had lives before that, with their birth families, and those stories deserved to be told just as much as the Hart’s. Their abuse did not start with their adoptions either; they were put through hell by the foster care system and by a racially biased court system in Texas, where their birth families were not given a fair shake at reuniting with them. While not perfect by any means, there was a system of love and familiarity set up to help these children that was pushed aside in favor of a cleaner story. The system interpreted poverty as neglect, and addition and mental health crises as cruelty, and this book shines a light on all the many ways things need to change before this happens again.
Read If You:
Are starting to reevaluate your relationship with true crime content
Don’t know what the “Christian Alamo” was
Are familiar with the “white savior” complex
My love of true crime ended with Sarah and Jennifer Hart. I remember sitting in a Whole Foods when the story broke that they had driven their car off a cliff and into the Pacific Ocean, killing themselves and their 6 adopted children. All 6 children were Black. All of them had been abused. As more and more details began to pour out about the mothers, the children were relegated to footnotes. Articles verged on ironic - how had these kids, coming from poverty, landed with a seemingly liberal, conscientious couple, only to end up worse off? I started to get an icky-feeling that I couldn’t explain, but that I also couldn’t explain away. Soon after I drifted away from true crime.
Asgarian reeled me back in with the understanding that these children’s lives did not start when they were adopted. They had lives before that, with their birth families, and those stories deserved to be told just as much as the Hart’s. Their abuse did not start with their adoptions either; they were put through hell by the foster care system and by a racially biased court system in Texas, where their birth families were not given a fair shake at reuniting with them. While not perfect by any means, there was a system of love and familiarity set up to help these children that was pushed aside in favor of a cleaner story. The system interpreted poverty as neglect, and addition and mental health crises as cruelty, and this book shines a light on all the many ways things need to change before this happens again.
Read If You:
Are starting to reevaluate your relationship with true crime content
Don’t know what the “Christian Alamo” was
Are familiar with the “white savior” complex
July 13, 2023
I hate to give this such a low rating, as I’m super in agreement with the author’s aims and purposes with regards to child welfare and adoption reforms, but holy hell did it need a better editor. This book is disorganised as all shit, at least fifty pages too short, and I was mentally rearranging chapter order as I read. There’s a compelling book in here, but it needed a tighter editorial hand. Also, there’s some off stuff about American conservative Protestantism that pinged my “that’s not correct” radar. Although I’m by no means a conservative Protestant, it’s a subject I know a fair bit about on an academic level, unlike the child welfare system. And when I come across inaccuracies about things I know a lot about, I’m always worried I’m missing other inaccuracies and oversimplifications on the subjects I don’t.
August 30, 2023
As a non-American, the whole concept of CPS is something of a national blind spot to me. This book was an eye-opener; it made me reconsider a lot of my preconceived notions and acknowledge the prejudices I never realized I held.
I would see news about CPS cases, happening thousands of miles away from me, and think "Well, as long as the children are happy... If it's the best for them..." but this book made me truly consider, for the first time, each and all of the variables in the family equation. The fact that children might not even know what would or could make them happy. Where can they find happiness? Who gets to decide what's best? How do they decide that? I can't even begin to think of the manifold of answers those heavy questions would bring and I certainly wouldn't like having to weigh those answers.
This book really forced me to put my accusatory instincts on hold in order to take a fuller picture, actively resist the tendency to oversimplify, and just sit with the understanding that these kind of things are never that fucking simple.
I would see news about CPS cases, happening thousands of miles away from me, and think "Well, as long as the children are happy... If it's the best for them..." but this book made me truly consider, for the first time, each and all of the variables in the family equation. The fact that children might not even know what would or could make them happy. Where can they find happiness? Who gets to decide what's best? How do they decide that? I can't even begin to think of the manifold of answers those heavy questions would bring and I certainly wouldn't like having to weigh those answers.
This book really forced me to put my accusatory instincts on hold in order to take a fuller picture, actively resist the tendency to oversimplify, and just sit with the understanding that these kind of things are never that fucking simple.
December 25, 2023
We Were Once a Family, A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America by Roxanna Asgarian and
Narrated by Suehyla El-Attar was a 5 ⭐️.
This was great! Difficult but great. I didn’t know about this crime and I’m glad in some ways that I didn’t. The author does an excellent job presenting all of the facts. I thought the narrator was perfect and highly recommend listening to it. Nothing is cut and dry about life and I realized after finishing that I need to hug my loved ones more. I can’t do this justice but I think you should read this. It’s life changing.
Thanks McMillan audio via NetGalley.
Narrated by Suehyla El-Attar was a 5 ⭐️.
This was great! Difficult but great. I didn’t know about this crime and I’m glad in some ways that I didn’t. The author does an excellent job presenting all of the facts. I thought the narrator was perfect and highly recommend listening to it. Nothing is cut and dry about life and I realized after finishing that I need to hug my loved ones more. I can’t do this justice but I think you should read this. It’s life changing.
Thanks McMillan audio via NetGalley.
March 15, 2023
This book has so much potential. I really wish the author had left politics, anti-Trump and the anti-cop propaganda out of it. Minus those things this book is a good read.
December 9, 2023
This book covers such an important topic (the child welfare system ), and one adjacent to the field in which I’ve spent my professional career - I thought I would be all over it. However, as a couple other reviews have stated, I found the writing, editing, research/fact-checking, reasoning and conclusions drawn, and perhaps the tone just a bit lacking consistently throughout. I also agree that the Harts’ story seemed sort of minimally shoehorned in to sell the book. Definitely still consider reading this book or any other book about important social justice issues, especially those pertaining to child wellbeing - I’m just saying this one didn’t resound or ring as true with me as many others. The audio also was somewhat draining to follow.
April 9, 2023
I feel as though this book was intended to be a history/evaluation of the child welfare system, but needed a more juicy hook in order to attract readers. That hook could be found in the story of the Hart family murders. This book is probably close to 85% child welfare system analyses and critiques, bio family histories, and statistics, and 15% the story of the Hart family. I believe the study of the child welfare system is important and necessary. However I also feel that the author likely knew that a true crime angle would increase number of readers.
April 1, 2024
BookTube read. Review in April
August 24, 2023
4.5 stars
This was an exceptional book about that horrific event that happened off Hwy 1 in California a few years ago.
When I began reading this book, I did not remember the premise of the story. I often lend a dozen books from the library at a time so it wasn't until I was almost half way through this one that I remembered the story from the news and made the association. Of course the first half of the book was more than good enough to keep my attention span until the "mothers" showed up.
This book is in large part an indictment on the foster parenting system. This is especially true in Texas where they send a shocking number of children from Houston to other areas of the United States including Minnesota.
Glad I read it.
This was an exceptional book about that horrific event that happened off Hwy 1 in California a few years ago.
When I began reading this book, I did not remember the premise of the story. I often lend a dozen books from the library at a time so it wasn't until I was almost half way through this one that I remembered the story from the news and made the association. Of course the first half of the book was more than good enough to keep my attention span until the "mothers" showed up.
This book is in large part an indictment on the foster parenting system. This is especially true in Texas where they send a shocking number of children from Houston to other areas of the United States including Minnesota.
Glad I read it.
November 3, 2022
I received a free copy of We Were Once a Family, by Roxanna Asgarian, from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Jennifer and Sarah Hart, fooled so many people, including the people who are supposed to protect foster children. The white couple, adopted colored children, they wanted a big family. Allegations of abuse and neglect were not always followed up.. These poor children were never protected, by the people meant to help them and love them. A well written book on such a tragic story that could of been prevented.
April 23, 2023
A necessary if brutal book that is about much more than the Hart family, who I—like many others in the Pacific Northwest—saw in public and thought they seemed like a “perfect” family. In reality, the children were starved and neglected; one of the oldest, who appeared to be 9 or 10 when I was encountered them in Astoria, Oregon, was actually *16*. The crimes committed against the children are unthinkable, but it’s the indictment of the entire American foster system that makes this book such an important read.
September 30, 2022
This is an excellent book! Told with compassion and truth. The author tells all sides of a horrible murder/suicide. It is an indictment of the foster care system and those who make decisions about who is and who is not fit to keep their children. My overwhelming feeling after reading this is deep and profound sadness. I do not know any answers but I know that it's the children that suffer and continue to suffer. Well written and important.
November 18, 2022
This is a very in-depth look at the story behind the headlines of the tragic deaths that were so in the news at the time. If you ever wanted to know more than the basic reporting when it happened, this is a really good book. It tells how the kids ended up with the Hart women, despite red flags. Also, it tells about some surprising laws and policies in place at the time that helped the situation happen.
March 5, 2023
When the story of the Hart family’s murder-suicide broke, I knew this book would come, but I have been holding my breath for a long time about what kind of book it would be.
As a former foster parent who became interested in learning everything possible about the winding ins and outs of the system historically thru today, I’ve read my fair share of overviews. Many fall into the trap of considering what is best for children based on length of time in care alone, and the problem of impermanence. This book is not that — and thank goodness.
This book takes the tragedy of the Hart family and does not scour Jen & Sarah’s psyche past the obvious nor does it cast them thru the sympathetic lens as overwhelmed women and mothers doing the best they could til they reached a breaking point as so many stories do (even the final verdict of the coroner’s inquest handled them with kid-gloves, refusing to call it murder but rather death of children by the hands of another — as though the overdose levels of Benadryl and driving them over a cliff were not clearly intentional, to say nothing of the logistics of the car having clearly accelerated, and Sarah’s final google searches retrieved from her phone asking how much it would take to overdose them & die by drowning and hypothermia). It is outrageous the level of giving the benefit of the doubt Jen and Sarah enjoyed in life and then in Murder-Suicide, while the children’s birth families received no such benefit and often were cruelly denied it (the children’s aunt in particular is a cruel tragedy; just one example — her appeal to adopt the children was denied based on the fact the children were in her care 5 1/2 months instead of the required six. Yet Jen and Sarah’s adoption was finalized in breakneck speed, before the appeal had even gone through the court).
This book unwinds the much more complex story of how the Hart children came to be adopted by the mothers in the first place, and how the system fails birth families and, by default, those children. It also importantly follows the living sibling whose story showcases the generational trauma of foster care. It should break your heart and then infuriate you.
This is a great modern case study in injustice, racism rampant in the child welfare political game, and the impact of poverty and generational trauma. It is a modern version of the classic LOST CHILDREN OF WILDER by Nina Bernstein, and a readable entry into understanding what’s wrong with foster care. This book handles tragedy without lurid details or assuming birth families must have been the worse option as so many hit pieces do. I am grateful it exists so I can recommend it to any wishing to look beyond the savior narrative of adoption and foster parenting.
Well-researched, searing and compassionate to the right people. Highly recommend.
Thank you to NetGalley for my copy.
As a former foster parent who became interested in learning everything possible about the winding ins and outs of the system historically thru today, I’ve read my fair share of overviews. Many fall into the trap of considering what is best for children based on length of time in care alone, and the problem of impermanence. This book is not that — and thank goodness.
This book takes the tragedy of the Hart family and does not scour Jen & Sarah’s psyche past the obvious nor does it cast them thru the sympathetic lens as overwhelmed women and mothers doing the best they could til they reached a breaking point as so many stories do (even the final verdict of the coroner’s inquest handled them with kid-gloves, refusing to call it murder but rather death of children by the hands of another — as though the overdose levels of Benadryl and driving them over a cliff were not clearly intentional, to say nothing of the logistics of the car having clearly accelerated, and Sarah’s final google searches retrieved from her phone asking how much it would take to overdose them & die by drowning and hypothermia). It is outrageous the level of giving the benefit of the doubt Jen and Sarah enjoyed in life and then in Murder-Suicide, while the children’s birth families received no such benefit and often were cruelly denied it (the children’s aunt in particular is a cruel tragedy; just one example — her appeal to adopt the children was denied based on the fact the children were in her care 5 1/2 months instead of the required six. Yet Jen and Sarah’s adoption was finalized in breakneck speed, before the appeal had even gone through the court).
This book unwinds the much more complex story of how the Hart children came to be adopted by the mothers in the first place, and how the system fails birth families and, by default, those children. It also importantly follows the living sibling whose story showcases the generational trauma of foster care. It should break your heart and then infuriate you.
This is a great modern case study in injustice, racism rampant in the child welfare political game, and the impact of poverty and generational trauma. It is a modern version of the classic LOST CHILDREN OF WILDER by Nina Bernstein, and a readable entry into understanding what’s wrong with foster care. This book handles tragedy without lurid details or assuming birth families must have been the worse option as so many hit pieces do. I am grateful it exists so I can recommend it to any wishing to look beyond the savior narrative of adoption and foster parenting.
Well-researched, searing and compassionate to the right people. Highly recommend.
Thank you to NetGalley for my copy.
May 10, 2023
This journalistic nonfiction read will leave you equal parts angry and devastated at how we are failing foster children in our so-called “family court system.”
My husband aged out of the foster system in the south side of Chicago, so this topic hits directly at home.
There is so much to comment on, but one of the main points that was mentioned many times, was how CPS often punished parents who were struggling with POVERTY.
Yes, poverty. Not abuse, not neglect, but simply had limited resources and it made it hard to take care of children, but never because of a lack of love.
There is no easy solution to this monster of a problem that has ruined millions of lives of children…but the first step can be to read or listen to this book.
My husband aged out of the foster system in the south side of Chicago, so this topic hits directly at home.
There is so much to comment on, but one of the main points that was mentioned many times, was how CPS often punished parents who were struggling with POVERTY.
Yes, poverty. Not abuse, not neglect, but simply had limited resources and it made it hard to take care of children, but never because of a lack of love.
There is no easy solution to this monster of a problem that has ruined millions of lives of children…but the first step can be to read or listen to this book.
June 6, 2023
I really wanted to like this book. The biological families so often get lost in these stories...and there's way too many of them. However, this book is so biased that it turns into a rant about her dysfunctional childhood and her opinion of the Houston family court system. She makes statements that basically say that an unstable home life with addicted neglectful parents is fine.
Don't get me wrong, she makes some good anecdotal points throughout. She completely loses me when she blames the system for a grown man's criminal choices, domestic violence, irresponsibility and not showing up for court in a fight to retain parental rights of his own child.
This could have been such a good book, but it's not.
Don't get me wrong, she makes some good anecdotal points throughout. She completely loses me when she blames the system for a grown man's criminal choices, domestic violence, irresponsibility and not showing up for court in a fight to retain parental rights of his own child.
This could have been such a good book, but it's not.
May 6, 2023
What an indictment of the foster care to adoption pipeline in this country especially within poor Black communities! The author is thorough and balanced in her presentation of her research. Be prepared to experience some very strong emotions. It’s far past time we stopped criminalizing poverty in this country.
July 7, 2023
A devastating and necessary exploration of the American foster care system told through the lens of the Hart children, who were adopted as two sets of siblings who were taken from their families in Texas and raised by a couple in Minnesota who routinely abused and starved the children before ultimately driving them off a California cliff in an infamous murder-suicide.
Unlike most other versions of the Hart's story, this book focuses less on the women who adopted the children, and more on the birth mothers and the systems that removed their children, including the many failed attempts to keep them all together and with family, the negligence and corruption within the CPS and courts in Texas, and the devastation wrought upon the relatives once the children were taken out of state and out of contact, especially on Dontay, the surviving older brother of three of the children who spent his entire youth bouncing around the foster care system, group homes, mental health facilities, and later, prisons.
The details of the Hart children's lives and deaths are heinous and heartbreaking, and the author does share what they went through along with a bit of their adoptive mothers' backgrounds and their history of abuse allegations documented in three different states – but more importantly when discussing the Hart parents, it explores why these two white women raising six Black children were never seriously considered harmful while their birth mothers almost instantly had their children taken away, and why Black children are disproportionately represented in the foster care system relative to the general child population (the answer may shock you: racism).
Unlike most other versions of the Hart's story, this book focuses less on the women who adopted the children, and more on the birth mothers and the systems that removed their children, including the many failed attempts to keep them all together and with family, the negligence and corruption within the CPS and courts in Texas, and the devastation wrought upon the relatives once the children were taken out of state and out of contact, especially on Dontay, the surviving older brother of three of the children who spent his entire youth bouncing around the foster care system, group homes, mental health facilities, and later, prisons.
The details of the Hart children's lives and deaths are heinous and heartbreaking, and the author does share what they went through along with a bit of their adoptive mothers' backgrounds and their history of abuse allegations documented in three different states – but more importantly when discussing the Hart parents, it explores why these two white women raising six Black children were never seriously considered harmful while their birth mothers almost instantly had their children taken away, and why Black children are disproportionately represented in the foster care system relative to the general child population (the answer may shock you: racism).
June 11, 2023
Just incredible. Took me a while to finish it because it is so devastating and sad. Asgarian does an amazing job telling the whole story of the horrific story of the two lesbian adopted moms who drove themselves and their 6 Black adopted kids off a cliff. Readers get to learn all about the birth families and the foster/adoption industry in general. Just the fact that the official report of the MURDER of those 6 kids never used the word murder is insane (“at the hands of another, other than by accident” WTF). This book goes great w other NF books Invisible Child and Torn Apart. Thanks to my rdg friend Hope for telling me about this one.
May 23, 2023
A great book that takes into account a horrible tragedy - the murder of the six adoptees at the hands of their adoptive mothers in 2018 - to tell a larger story about Child Protective Services, family separation, and adoption. It's so incredible how much power the state has in family matters, how the lines between neglect and poverty are so often misconstrued, and how the state inflicts trauma not just on a nuclear family level but through the generations of a family. The author calls out a podcast I listened to about this case (Broken Harts) which focuses on the psychology of the mothers and their parenting style/abuse allegations against them. This book is much more fascinating than the podcast because it doesn't focus on the psychology of these mothers very much; it's about the kids and their birth families. Learning about Markis, Hannah, Abigail, Devonte, Ciera, and Jeremiah's families taught me so much. Their families have many struggles: addiction, poverty, lack of resources, lack of education, lack of upward mobility. But these are struggles that many families face in the United States. It's the author's argument that because of their race and location (Texas), the state surveilled and punished them more than other struggling families. This is a story that leans on the human element and telling stories about multifaceted people, which I loved. It's a sad story, and the saddest thing is that not /that/ much has changed since these adoptions took place.
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