Have you been involved in a bar fight? Brett Kavanaugh has. In case you didn't hear, he was reportedly involved in a scuffle after a UB40 concert in 1985, along with friend and future NBA big man (and career 46 percent free throw shooter) Chris Dudley.
After the news broke, conservatives took to Twitter to brag about their own bar fights. (After all, when you're a white guy, drunken fighting is a rite of passage with zero consequences.) Take it away, Fox Business Network's Charles Gasparino:
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That's not all, though. Gasparino was joined by a cavalry of Kavanaugh supporters hellbent on proving two points: One, you don't have to be blackout drunk to attack a stranger, and two, fighting in public is actually good and cool.
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"Bar fights are good and cool" is an interesting take. So we contacted Mobeen Chishti, the manager at Pizza Mart, the original jumbo slice joint in Washington D.C., to ask him if he's seen anything. Maybe even the aforementioned Douthat jumbo-slice battle royale. Chishti confirmed that jumbo slice scuffles do, in fact, happen, though only rarely. Once, a woman launched a slice of pizza heavily sprinkled with red pepper flakes at a male customer, but Chishti shoved the man out of the way and took the brunt of the cheesy damage himself. (Allegedly) afterward, she apologized profusely. "Even though it was two or three in the morning, she said a million apologies," Chishti says.
Surely, Chishti would unequivocally condone jumbo slice fights and bar fights, right?
"I think it's not cool to fight anywhere," he says. "That does not bring peace. You cannot justify fighting with fighting."
Our recommendation is to not get in bar fights. And definitely do not get in dozens of bar fights.