- Nancy Potter: You talk as if astrology is something to be ashamed of, like witchcraft or being a Democrat.
- Vicky Whitley: There's still time for you to show me that I'm really your wife - and not just a pretty woman you like when you're not working.
- Margaret Sibyll: [reveals behind a secret door, hordes of canned food] Three thousand of them. Yesterday, I declared every item to the Ration Board. I won't get any coupons until 1987 and it serves me right.
- Pearl: [Talking on the phone] Well, I'm new here. Mrs. Whitley hired me at 8:00 and left at 8:15. Her husband? Well, there's a gentleman down here who won't wake up. If he's what you want, you better come and wake him yourself!
- William S. Whitley: Don't kiss me. It's Tuesday.
- Vicky Whitley: There you go. You never take me seriously.
- William S. Whitley: How can I when my planetary emphasis is in my eleventh bungalow?
- Vicky Whitley: How did you live? How did you eat?
- William S. Whitley: I shot my food.
- Vicky Whitley: Quail?
- [the sound of a tally-ho bugle is heard on the soundtrack]
- William S. Whitley: Soup!
- William S. Whitley: [indicating a pile of tin cans] Noodle soup!
- Vicky Whitley: Suppose it gets around that Professor Whitley's wife goes to an astrologist?
- Nancy Potter: Well?
- Vicky Whitley: Well, it would be like Dr. Einstein's wife getting caught in playing the numbers game.
- Nancy Potter: I don't know the Einsteins.
- Pearl: A man from the conservatory called. He was all hep about some comet or sumthin'. Said it's gonna hit sumthin'!
- Lloyd X. Hunter: It's a nice instrument you got here, Bill. You know, I had one exactly like it, but I went broke and had to pawn it in a hock shop in a little Arabian village called Al-Shaababeba.
- William S. Whitley: Yeah, that's where I bought it.
- Vicky Whitley: His life is empty; no home, no companion; sleeping in hotel lobbies; always walking alone.
- William S. Whitley: I'll buy him a dog.
- Vicky Whitley: [angrily] You should be ashamed of yourself. You deserve a good beating!
- Vicky Whitley: [lovingly] And, darling, so do I - for not knowing I meant so much to you.
- Lloyd X. Hunter: Remember, Vicky, no matter where you are, if you ever need a good Air Raid Warden, just leave your light in the window.
- William S. Whitley: It was ordained from the beginning of time that these two bodies would eventually get together. No cosmic power could prevent it.
- Lloyd X. Hunter: For my money, give me a place called Samarkand, the city of phantoms and poets. "In Xanadu did Kubla Khan, A stately pleasure-dome decree."
- Vicky Whitley: Bill, what a surprise.
- William S. Whitley: I flew down! Darling, your words gave me - wings.
- Vicky Whitley: Bill, don't you realize?
- William S. Whitley: What?
- Vicky Whitley: It's happened.
- William S. Whitley: What happened?
- Vicky Whitley: He came.
- Vicky Whitley: You coward. Hiding in the closet and quite right too. You great big fake. You cheat. You forger! Open up at once. I know everything. So many lies just to tell me that you love me.
- Vicky Whitley: Good, go ahead, shoot me. I wouldn't blame you.
- William S. Whitley: Well... I'm sorry, but I'm not shooting anybody except by appointment.
- Lloyd X. Hunter: [singing] I want to be called pet and sweetheart, I want to be loved and caressed...
- Lloyd X. Hunter: [singing] I'm dying...
- Vicky Whitley: Yo-de-la-he-hoo...
- Lloyd X. Hunter: I'm sighing...
- Vicky Whitley: Yo-de-la-he-hoo...
- Lloyd X. Hunter, Vicky Whitley: To love and be loved in return.
- Professor Stowe: Out with it, Bill. What's up?
- William S. Whitley: [pointing upward] Jupiter.
- Professor Stowe: Jupiter?
- William S. Whitley: Jupiter has been facing a square aspect of the moon, in Vicky's, uh, seventh house.
- Professor Stowe: What are you talking about?
- William S. Whitley: [sarcastically] Oh, a great science. A science that says I mustn't kiss my wife on Tuesdays, because the semi-sextile aspect of Neptune is in opposition to Donald Duck.
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