Train Ride to Hollywood

WARNING! This movie could HURT. Imagine a film musical FAR WORSE than "At Long Last Love", "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" or "Lost Horizon" then multiply it by TEN, then you almost can conceptualize how heinous this thing is. A very, VERY small amount of the music and dance is vaguely enjoyable. The song in the railway station which ends up in laughable faux Busby Berkley-style kaleidescope formations is about the only thing that can be sat through without throwing an anvil at the TV set. Most of the rest is so painful it should be run on a continuous loop in high school detention halls. The "lookalikes" in this turkey are so way off that you have to strain to imagine who most of them are! Gable's voice is okay and WC Fields is so-so. The Bogart guy isn't too horrible, but ALL of the rest are incredibly lame. (The one playing Brando in "The Wild One" deserves some minor credit.) And anyway......the whole thing is so senseless and impossibly stupid that it doesn't even matter! Here's the kicker... The DVD comes with a little mini card of the original release poster. It boldly features the REAL faces of all the stars that the lame imposters are trying to impersonate! Imagine people's horror when they thought they might see something resembling these celebrities, but instead found Dan Tanna's casino hostess from "Vegas" flopping around with the most inappropriate Scarlett O'Hara accent imaginable and two perfectly ordinary-looking people acting like they're Nelson Eddy and Jeannette McDonald. The man playing Clark Gable is a particular insult when confronted with Gable's real face (as briefly shown in this turkey). The impersonator looks like Gable if Gable were an overweight used car salesman from Peoria. A MESS!!!!