- Lamar: [7:54] We're V.I.P.s
- Stewardess: [directing] Right over there.
- Booger: Very Immense Penises.
- [Flight Attendant slaps Booger]
- Snotty: To truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul.
- [Poindexter just addressed some "Seminole" in their language.]
- Arnold Poindexter: Lewis, I don't think these guys are Indians.
- Lewis Scolnick: What makes you say that.
- Arnold Poindexter: When I said "Bite my crank" in Seminole, no one responded.
- Lewis Scolnick: You said that to *these guys*?
- Arnold Poindexter: So what you're saying essentially is, is that along with infinite space which extends beyond perpetual bigness there's also infinite smallness?
- Harold Wormser: [nods head in agreement]
- Arnold Poindexter: How?
- Harold Wormser: Easy. Take an asymptotic line and extend it outward.
- Arnold Poindexter: Oh.
- Stewart: Right, right, right. So perpetual bigness exists simultaneously with perpetual smallness. What was I thinking?
- Ogre: What if uh C-A-T really spelled dog?
- Arnold Poindexter: Wow.
- Harold Wormser: God.
- Stewart: Yeah.
- Arnold Poindexter: That's heavy Ogre. Dog.
- Mr. Scolnick: You've really got the pedal to the metal, don't you, son?
- Lewis Scolnick: Yeah, I do, Dad. I've got the cruise control locked in at 35.
- Mr. Scolnick: Tell you what. Kick it up to 37. Let's live dangerously.
- Lewis Scolnick: [shocked] Dad!
- Lewis Scolnick: [firmly] I would like to speak in our defence!
- [the Alpha Betas try to grab Lewis, but are blokced by other Tri Lambdas]
- Tri Lambda: Hey! We want to hear what the brother has to say!
- [grabs Chip by his neck]
- Tri Lambda: Right, *TINY*?
- [the Tri-Lambs have been arrested]
- Harold Wormser: Hey, wait! I'm only 15. I'm just a kid!
- Policemen: [showing Wormser his fake ID] That's not what it says here, Senator Wormser!
- Harold Wormser: What do you think they are going to do?
- Lamar: I don't know. I think they're going to sacrifice a virgin.
- Booger: I hope not. A virgin's a terrible thing to waste.
- Roger: [admitting that he framed the Tri-Lambs] OK. Maybe I did. What are you gonna do about it, Skolnick? You gonna make a little speech? It's not gonna do any good. Wanna know why? Because I'm strong and you're weak. Because I'm the type of guy that everybody here wants to be like, and you are pathetic. That's the way it is. That's the way it's always gonna be, and there's nothing you or your pencil-neck geek friends can do or say about it. Comprende, dickhead?
- Lewis Scolnick: You're right, Rog. There's nothing I can say about it.
- [his friends are stunned]
- Lewis Scolnick: But there's something I've got to do about it!
- [he punches Roger in the face, sending him into the pool]
- [Ogre is being initiated into the Tri-Lambs]
- Gilbert Lowell: Our newest Tri-Lamb may drink.
- Lewis Scolnick: Right this way, Frederick.
- Ogre: Ogre, Louie.
- Lewis Scolnick, Gilbert Lowell: [firmly] Frederick.
- [Gilbert is warning Lewis not to trusts the Alpha Beta's invitation]
- Lewis Scolnick: What do you think, Gilbert? That I'm some kind of weenie who can't take care of himself. I'll tell you something, man, I'm not that kind of weenie.
- Stewart: Whoa!
- [coconut falls and hits Tiny on the head]
- Sunny Carstairs: Are you okay, sir?
- Tiny: I'm fine. Is my hair okay?
- Arnold Poindexter: Hey, you know what?
- Lewis Scolnick: What?
- Arnold Poindexter: According to this, the year-round mean temperature in Fort Lauderdale is 72 degrees.
- Lewis Scolnick: Well, guys, it's located at 26° 4' north latitude, 80° 9' west longitude. What did you expect, 68 degrees?