Night Wars

Oh, dear, this one is awful! I once bet a Navy Chief Petty Officer, a Marine Gunnery Sergeant, and a couple of enlisted guys a case of beer if they could get through it without "losing it," and I let them decide for themselves what "losing it" meant. I won the beer.

One learns a number of interesting things about infantry combat in this little retcher - for one thing, the Viet Cong ought to sue the makers for defamation (it was shot in Mexico, and most of the bad guys are remarkably un-Asian types who the credits reveal have names ending in "ez.") Let's start with the a new martial arts technique - get your opponent face-down and pull his hair back and voila! his neck breaks. Evidently that's what my little sister was after lo those many years ago...

The idea, of course, is a post-traumatic-syndrome exploitation flick. One views a patrol of good guys, evidently Woodstock castoffs, stumbling through the Vietnamese jungles falling over one another - "combat separation" here evidently refers to "get 12 guys into the camera's viewfinder simultaneously." One shot down the trail would have shish-kebab'd these goofs out of their misery. And what misery it was...

Here we have the hero, in the middle of a desperate firefight, ducking behind a tree and for some reason popping the magazine out from his .45 - perhaps to see how many "bullets" were left - I use the term "bullets" advisedly since the camera closeup reveals, in all its brassy glory, the crimped end of a blank cartridge. Appalling.

The climax involves our heroes stuffing a cheap hotel room with enough ordnance to sink an aircraft carrier, then, as do all who are minutes away from furious mortal combat, falling asleep. I shall leave the denouement for those stubborn enough to last that far...

Three thumbs-down, but a decent effort for the truly masochistic.