The Last Days of Disco (1998)

Chris Eigeman: Des

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Quotes 

• Des McGrath : You know that Shakespearean admonition, "To thine own self be true"? It's premised on the idea that "thine own self" is something pretty good, being true to which is commendable. But what if "thine own self" is not so good? What if it's pretty bad? Would it be better, in that case, *not* to be true to thine own self?... See, that's my situation.

• Des McGrath : Do yuppies even exist? No one says, "I am a yuppie," it's always the other guy who's a yuppie. I think for a group to exist, somebody has to admit to be part of it.

  Dan Powers : Of course yuppies exist. Most people would say you two are prime specimens.

• Des McGrath : Yuppie stands for "young upwardly mobile professional". Nightclub flunkie is not a professional category. I wish we were yuppies. Young, upwardly mobile, professional. Those are *good* things, not bad things.

• Alice Kinnon : That's odd he knew I drank vodka tonics. I never told him.

  Des McGrath : It's uncanny.

  Alice Kinnon : You mean it's a complete cliché? All women recent college graduates drink vodka tonics, or something like that?

  Des McGrath : Well, maybe.

  Alice Kinnon : [to Charlotte]  So, Jimmy thinks I'm a total cliche?

  Charlotte Pingress : I ordered a Vodka tonic too. So what? You're plenty original without having to order something weird to drink.

  Des McGrath : Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. Can I get you another?

  Alice Kinnon : Thanks. Actually, if you don't mind, I think I'd prefer - um - a whiskey sour.

• [last lines] 

  Des McGrath : One of the things that makes me happy in life is knowing I don't envy anyone. I don't want to be anyone else or do anything that I want to do... which of course right now is nothing now that I'm unemployed, but I have good projects for the future. Can I speak honestly?

  Charlotte Pingress : Yeah.

  Des McGrath : You and I are similar. We both got big personalities. That's good. What the world really needs is more big personalities. Perhaps ours burn too brightly, or are too big for people with normal healthy sized personalities like Alice. Or people with abnormal sized personalities like Josh. Or the itsy bitsy teeny wienie little polka dot bikini sized personalities like Jimmy Steinway.

  Charlotte Pingress : That's why I'm confident that I will ultimately be successful in television.

  Des McGrath : Absolutely. You see, one of the problems of finding the right person and settling down is that it takes all the fun and interest out of going to nightclubs. I mean if you are already living with somebody, why bother going out? Getting seriously involved with someone really just means ruining your nightlife. What I mean to say is... Jimmy, Alice, Josh... so what? That's what I say.

  Charlotte Pingress : I think I agree with you.

• Des McGrath : Its women like you whose attitudes towards men are so dehumanizing.

  Charlotte Pingress : Like what?

  Des McGrath : That men are swine, obsessed with large breasts and the sex act, devoid of any idealistic romantic sensibility. When, in fact, we have that idealistic sensibility, in spades. For instance, you have no idea what men really think about women's breasts.

  Alice Kinnon : What do men think about women's breasts?

  Des McGrath : Well, its not just something you blurt out. Its far more complicated and nuanced.

• Des McGrath : Do you really think the neurological effects of coffee are similar to that of cocaine?

• Des McGrath : [to Josh]  Are you taking your medication?

• Des McGrath : I'm not an addict. I'm a habitual user.

• Bernie Rafferty : So you don't know anything about this investigation.

  Des McGrath : No!... Well, a sort of *acquaintance* of mine who now works in Morgenthau's office approached me, but... I didn't tell him anything.

  Bernie Rafferty : You didn't tell me about that.

  Des McGrath : I didn't think it was important, it only just happened.

  Bernie Rafferty : When?

  Des McGrath : Tonight - just now.

  Bernie Rafferty : Why did you use the past perfect, then?

  Des McGrath : I used the past perfect?

  Bernie Rafferty : Yeah: "I was approached." It sounds like a while ago.

• Charlotte Pingress : You're not fit to lick the boots of my real gay friends.

  Des McGrath : Well, I don't *want* to lick the boots of your real gay friends.

• Des McGrath : 'Yuppie scum'? In college, before dropping out, I took a course in the propaganda uses of language; one objective is to deny other people's humanity, or even right to exist.

  Jimmy : In the men's lounge someone scrawled 'kill yuppie scum'.

  Des McGrath : Do yuppies even exist? No one says, "I am a yuppie," it's always the other guy who's a yuppie. I think for a group to exist, somebody has to admit to be part of it.

• Des McGrath : Group social life has its place, but at a certain point other biological factors come into play. Our bodies weren't really designed for group social life. A certain amount of pairing off was always part of the original plan.

• Des McGrath : A gay mouth? I have a gay mouth? What does that mean?

• Des McGrath : Jimmy...

  Jimmy : Where were you? What a nightmare.

  Des McGrath : Listen, I don't know how you got in, but you better go.

  Jimmy : What?

  Des McGrath : This way.

  Jimmy : You're asking me to leave?

  Des McGrath : Van has gone *crazy.* He made Bernie promise to fire me if he found you here. Bernie *hates* ad agency people. It's nuts.

  Jimmy : I can't believe it. That's like something out of the Nazis.

  Des McGrath : Come on. I will get you back on the list, but tonight it's best if you go.

• Des McGrath : [indicating Van]  I tease him a *little* bit...

  Bernie Rafferty : No teasing, Des.

  Des McGrath : No *teasing*?

• Des McGrath : I'm going to turn over a new leaf in Spain. I'm going to turn over several new leaves.

• Charlotte Pingress : I am hardly a militant feminist.

  Des McGrath : No, you're not. A militant feminist would be a lot fairer.

• Des McGrath : We're getting older. We've lived through a period that's ended. It's like dying a little bit.

• Des McGrath : Nina! Its not what you think. I - I think I'm gay.

  Nina : What? Its not possible. How?

  Des McGrath : Its always been there, I guess. I've only begun to acknowledge it, now.

  Nina : You really think you're gay?

• Bernie Rafferty : I don't want a lot of ad people in the club, particularly not this guy.

  Des McGrath : Well, I didn't let him in. If Van didn't either, then he's not in the club.

  Bernie Rafferty : Did I ever tell you my first job was in advertising at Y&R? In those days the big thing was to be nice to everybody - to the secretaries, to the media department, to the art director, to the client.

  Des McGrath : Well, I don't think its that way now.

  Bernie Rafferty : I don't care. I don't want that element in the club.

• Des McGrath : I'm sorry. I know why you're so upset. I mean, I know what really happened with Tom.

  Alice Kinnon : What?

  Des McGrath : That he thought you were really slutty or something. That's so stupid!

  [Alice runs to a cab and Des chases after her] 

  Des McGrath : You can't worry about what misinterpreters think. That's so unfair. Come back to my place, we should talk. There, nothing will happen. I just need somebody to talk to. Maybe you do too.

  [Alice slams the cab door shut] 

• Des McGrath : I could be gay.

  Nina : If you think you're gay, you're gay. Tell me honestly, have you had sex with men?

  Des McGrath : Well, that's defining it rather narrowly.

• Van : The new owners couldn't make it work. They had to hire people to stand outside and pretend that they couldn't get in. Anyway, disco's over, it's dead.

  Josh Neff : What do you mean?

  Van : Well, people just don't go out like they used to. They're tired. Some are sick, strung out. Its not just the prosecutions and all the owners that Bernie squealed on.

  Charlotte Pingress : Could part of it be related to the herpes epidemic?

  Van : Maybe. I've got a friend at Casablanca Records and Tapes and she said that like two months ago the bottom dropped out of all disco record sales. Suddenly, it's - dead. Over.

  Josh Neff : God, it's sad.

  Des McGrath : We're getting older. We've lived through a period that's ended. It's like dying a little bit.

• Des McGrath : Ever since I was six years old or so, I sensed I was somehow - different.

  Diana : Then, every time you made love to me, you must have wanted to vomit!

  Des McGrath : No, no, no. You're beautiful. You don't have to be some sweaty, horny, hetro, he-ape to admire and appreciate female beauty. Only very, very recently did I come to the final realization.

  Diana : Exactly when did the final realization come?

  Des McGrath : Two days ago. I get up late and usually turn on the TV sort of a reflex. Wednesday afternoon there was a rerun of "Wild Kingdom" - Mutual Omaha's nature program with Marlon Perkins. And that - attractive, younger guy - it triggered something. Suddenly, everything fell into place. I'm gay - and always have been.

  Diana : You only found out you were gay on Wednesday?

  Des McGrath : Only then, definitively. Wednesday was - gay day, for me.