- Dennis Hope: If you think Mick Jagger will still be out there trying to be a rock star at age fifty, then you are sadly, sadly mistaken.
- Penny Lane: I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.
- Lester Bangs: Aw, man. You made friends with them. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong.
- William Miller: Well, it was fun.
- Lester Bangs: Because they make you feel cool. And hey. I met you. You are not cool.
- William Miller: I know. Even when I thought I was, I knew I wasn't.
- Lester Bangs: That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.
- William Miller: I can really see that now.
- Lester Bangs: Yeah, great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start.
- William Miller: I'm glad you were home.
- Lester Bangs: I'm always home. I'm uncool.
- William Miller: Me too!
- Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
- William Miller: I feel better.
- Lester Bangs: My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.
- Penny Lane: How old are you?
- William Miller: Eighteen.
- Penny Lane: Me too! How old are we really?
- William Miller: Seventeen.
- Penny Lane: Me too!
- William Miller: Actually, I'm sixteen.
- Penny Lane: Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth just sounds different.
- William Miller: I'm fifteen.
- Russell Hammond: [Russell grabs phone away from William] Hey, mom! It's Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met? Hello? Hello...? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...
- Elaine Miller: Hey, hey, listen to me, mister. You're charm doen't work on me - I'm on to you. Of course you like him...
- Russell Hammond: Well, yeah...
- Elaine Miller: He worships you people. And that's fine by you as long as he helps make you rich.
- Russell Hammond: Rich? I don't think so...
- Elaine Miller: Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted fifteen year old kid with infinite potential.
- Russell Hammond: [Russell is stunned]
- Elaine Miller: This is not some apron-wearing mother you're speaking with - I know all about your valhalla of decadence and I shouldn't have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?
- Russell Hammond: Yes - yes, ma'am...
- Elaine Miller: If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession which is law - something you may not value, but I do - you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone and it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?
- Russell Hammond: Uh, yes, ma'am...
- Elaine Miller: I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.
- [Elaine hangs up]
- Russell Hammond: [Russell stands holding phone in stunned silence]
- Elaine Miller: Well there it is, your sister used the "F" word.
- Young William: I think she said "feck."
- Elaine Miller: What's the difference?
- Young William: The letter "u."
- Sapphire: They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts.
- Russell Hammond: If something should happen. maybe I never said this enough, I love all of you.
- Dennis Hope: I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan. A hit and run. I hit him and just kept on going. I don't know if he's alive or dead; but, I'm sorry. Not a day goes by I don't see his face.
- Leslie: Oh my God!
- Dick Roswell: Look, I love you all too. You're like a family to me. Especially since Marna left me. And listen, fellas, I just want you to know, if I took an extra dollar or two here and there, it's because I knew I'd earned it.
- Russell Hammond: Yeah. I slept with Marna, Dick.
- Jeff Bebe: I did too.
- Larry Fellows: I waited until you broke up with her, Dick. But me too.
- Jeff Bebe: [to Russell] I also slept with Leslie, when you were fighting.
- Russell Hammond: [to Leslie] You slept with Jeff?
- Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't count. It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules!
- Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you love me!
- Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man. I never did. None of us love you. You act above us. You always have.
- Larry Fellows: Finally, the truth.
- Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us, like you might leave. Like we're lucky to be with you. And we had to live with it, man. I had to live with you, and now I might die with you, and it's not fucking fair!
- Russell Hammond: Please, enough!
- Jeff Bebe: And I'm still in love with you, Leslie.
- Leslie: Oh, I don't wanna hear any more. Shut up, Jeffrey!
- Dick Roswell: Jeffrey, It's all happening.
- Russell Hammond: What the fuck! Whatever happens, Bebe, you're dead.
- Jeff Bebe: Don't be self-righteous, Russell. Not now, man. You were sleeping with Penny, that fucking groupie, last summer up until yesterday. Why don't you tell Leslie that?
- Russell Hammond: Shut up!
- Dennis Hope: I quit!
- Russell Hammond: I'm gonna kill you!
- Dennis Hope: I quit!
- William Miller: "That groupie"? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!
- Elaine Miller: May I speak with William, please?
- Sapphire: He's not here. He's down in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello?
- Elaine Miller: No, this is not Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message for me? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him - I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
- Sapphire: All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know men, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. I mean, you created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, he's having a great time, he's doing a good job, and don't worry - he's still a virgin. And we're all looking out for him. And that's more than I've ever even said to my own parents, so there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way.
- Lester Bangs: Here 's a theory for you to disregard - completely. Music, you know, true music - not just rock 'n' roll - it chooses you. You know, it lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones, with vast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. You know, it's a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America.
- Russell Hammond: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!
- [crowd cheers]
- William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!
- Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words - I dig music.
- [a few claps]
- Russell Hammond: [beat]
- Russell Hammond: I'm on drugs!
- [crowd cheers]
- [Finally getting his interview with Russell Hammond]
- William Miller: So Russell... what do you love about music?
- Russell Hammond: To begin with, everything.
- Lester Bangs: So, you're the one who's been sending me those articles from your school newspaper.
- William Miller: I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper, too.
- Lester Bangs: What, are you like the star of your school?
- William Miller: They hate me.
- Lester Bangs: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.
- William Miller: Do you have to be depressed to write a sad song? Do you have to be in love to write a love song? Is a song better when it really happened to you? Like "Love Thing," where did you write that and who was it about?
- Russell Hammond: When did you get so professional?
- Jeff Bebe: Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but, that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am - and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world - all of us together. And the chicks are great. But, what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something from your music. What I'm talking about is - hey, what am I talking about?
- William Miller: The buzz.
- Jeff Bebe: The buzz. And the chicks! And whatever is an offshoot of the buzz. Like, you say you like, "Fever Dog." *That* is the fucking buzz!
- Penny Lane: Look, *you* should be happy for me. You don't know what he says to me in private. Maybe it is love - as much as it can be for somebody...
- William Miller: Who sold you to Humble Pie for fifty bucks and a case of beer? I was there. I was there! Look, I'm sorry.
- Penny Lane: [sniffs] What kind of beer?
- William Miller: [on meeting Stillwater] Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. And the guitar sound... is incindiary. Incendiary. Way to go.
- [He turns to leave. The band members regard one another for a moment]
- Russell Hammond: Well, don't stop there!
- Jeff Bebe: Yeah, come back here! I'm incendiary, too, man!
- Penny Lane: We are not Groupies. Groupies sleep with rockstars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids.
- Russell Hammond: Your mom kind of freaked me out.
- William Miller: [places hand on Russell's shoulder] She means well.
- Anita Miller: First it was butter; then, it was sugar and white flour, bacon, eggs, bologna, rock 'n roll, motorcycles. Then! It was celebrating Christmas on a day in September when you knew it wouldn't be commercialized! What else are you gonna ban?
- Elaine Miller: Honey, you want to rebel against knowledge, I'm trying to give you the Cliff Notes on how to live life in this world.
- Anita Miller: We're like nobody else I know!
- Elaine Miller: I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me!
- Anita Miller: Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I'm a "Yes" person and *you* are trying to raise us in a "No" environment.
- Elaine Miller: Well, clearly "No" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.
- Anita Miller: I can't live here! I hate you! Even William hates you!
- Young William: I don't hate her.
- Anita Miller: You *do* hate her. You don't even know the truth.
- Elaine Miller: Sweetheart, don't be a drama queen.
- Anita Miller: Feck you!
- Elaine Miller: Hey!
- Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!
- Elaine Miller: [to William] Your Dad was so proud of you. He knew you were a predominantly accelerated child.
- Anita Miller: What about me?
- Elaine Miller: You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love.
- Lester Bangs: So, you're talking to Ben Fong-Torres, right? Here's what you do. Tell him it's a think piece about a mid level band struggling with their own limitations in the harsh face of stardom.
- [Chuckles]
- Lester Bangs: He'll wet himself.
- Penny Lane: I've made a decision, I'm gonna live in Morocco for one year. I need a new crowd. Do you wanna come?
- William Miller: Yes! Yeah. Yeah.
- Penny Lane: You sure?
- William Miller: Ask me again.
- Penny Lane: Do you wanna come?
- William Miller: Yes! Yes.
- Jeff Bebe: "Rock 'n' roll can save the world"? "The chicks are great"? I sound like a dick!
- Russell Hammond: [to himself] You are a dick.
- Jeff Bebe: I never said that.
- Russell Hammond: Maybe we just don't see ourselves the way we really are.
- Jeff Bebe: Is it that hard to make us look cool?
- Russell Hammond: Hey William, we showed you America. Did everything but get you laid.
- [William looks out the window and smiles]
- Russell Hammond: No! Yeah?
- All in car: No!
- Russell Hammond: You know, I think we both wanted to, uh, to be with her. I guess she wanted us to be together.
- William Miller: [to Penny, who is on the toilet] I thought maybe we could hang out, you know, do some stuff back home like... like regular stuff, get to know each other a little bit better, and *then* I'd see you pee.
- Ben Fong-Torres: A Mo-Jo, it's a very modern machine that transmits pages over the telephone! It only takes eighteen minutes a page!
- Russell Hammond: From here on out, I'm only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm interested in, from here on out.
- Penny Lane: Call me if you need a rescue, we live in the same city.
- William Miller: Sometimes I think I live in a different world.
- Elaine Miller: Keep the small bills on the outside and call me if anyone gets drunk.
- William Miller: I will call you if anyone *anywhere* gets drunk.
- [Regarding the t-shirt picture]
- Russell Hammond: Can we just skip the vibe, and go straight to us laughing about this?
- Jeff Bebe: Yeah, okay.
- Russell Hammond: Because I can see by your face you want to get into it.
- Jeff Bebe: How can you tell? I'm just one of the out-of-focus guys.
- Polexia Aphrodisia: [to William watching Penny Lane] Act One, in which she pretends she doesn't care about him.
- Polexia Aphrodisia: [sees Russell strumming his guitar and staring at Penny] Act Two, in which he pretends he doesn't care her, but he goes right for her.
- Polexia Aphrodisia: [Russell goes to Penny] Act Three, in which it all plays out the way she planned it. She'll eat him alive.
- William Miller: We gotta stop them!
- Polexia Aphrodisia: Stop them? You... were her reason for coming here.
- William Miller: [on the phone with Dick, talking about Russell] Dick, I got him. He's okay. He is on acid, though.
- [pause]
- William Miller: I can't really tell. How do you know when it's kicked in?
- [Cut to Russell standing on the roof, screaming "I am a golden god"]
- Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Are you Mr. Miller?
- William Miller: Yeah.
- Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [politely] You have a message from Elaine, your mother.
- [pause]
- Sheldon the Desk Clerk: She's a handful.
- William Miller: I know.
- Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [seriously] She freaked me out.
- Anita Miller: All the kids make fun of him. They call him the Narc behind his back.
- Elaine Miller: What's a narc?
- Anita Miller: It's a narcotics officer.
- Elaine Miller: Well, what's wrong with THAT?
- Russell Hammond: [high on acid; laughingly, to Dick] Look at him, he's taking notes with his eyes.
- [Violently grabs William and shouts to his face]
- Russell Hammond: How do we know you're not a cop, huh? The enemy! Stop fucking looking at me!
- Dick Roswell: [calming Russell] He's your guardian angel, alright?
- [to William]
- Dick Roswell: Don't worry, he only means half of what he says.
- William Miller: [to himself] Which half?
- Penny Lane: You're too sweet for rock and roll.
- William Miller: Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and *pissed off*! And I could be very dangerous to all of you! You should know that about me... I am *the enemy*!
- Lester Bangs: You *cannot* make friends with the rock stars... If you're going to be a true journalist, you know, a rock journalist - first, you never get paid much. But, you will get free records from the record company. Fuckin' nothin' about you that is controversial. God, it's gonna get ugly. And they're gonna buy you drinks, you're gonna meet girls, they're gonna try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs. I know, it sounds great. But, these people are not your friends. You know, these are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars and they will *ruin* rock 'n' roll and strangle everything we love about it. Right? And then it just becomes an industry of - cool.
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