Bad Santa (2003)
Bernie Mac: Gin
Photos
Quotes
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[Willie has just passed out]
Gin : Look here, get himy outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something.
Marcus : What do you mean, get him outta here?
Gin : Take him to the car.
Marcus : In case you didn't notice I'm a motherfucking dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand hmm?
Gin : That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause you're handicapped. You're all the same.
Marcus : Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-fucking-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?
Gin : Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!
Marcus : Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.
Gin : What'd you call me thigh-high?
Marcus : I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!
Gin : I could stick you up my ass, small fry.
Marcus : Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?
Gin : You got some lip on you midget.
Marcus : Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!
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Bob Chipeska : I just can't help it. There's something about the guy that makes me uneasy.
Gin : Well sure. Santa fucking someone in the ass...
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Gin : Santa likes to fuck fat chicks in the ass.
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Marcus : How much?
Gin : Half.
Willie : No fucking way...
Marcus : Just back off, Will, I got this. I got this! Okay, 30%. That's three of us. 30%, that's fair.
Gin : Half.
Marcus : I meant 33%.
Gin : I meant half.
Marcus : And 1/3.
Gin : Half.
Marcus : 35%.
Gin : Half.
Marcus : 40%.
Gin : Half.
Marcus : 42%.
Gin : [Mouthing] Half.
Marcus : Um... 45%.
Gin : [Pretends to think about it] Half.
Marcus : 48%?
Gin : [In British accent] Half.
Marcus : 49%!
Gin : Half.
Willie : Well, what's one point?
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Gin : Sweet Jews for Jesus!
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Gin : We split the dough right down the middle. Any merchendise you take, I get to look at and cherry pick.
Marcus : No. Money is one thing but you ain't getting the sh...
Gin : This ain't no Chinese menu, jagoff! I tell YOU how it's gonna be. This is pricks fix!
[Exits]
Willie : Pricks fix?
Marcus : Ah, he's a fucking moron.
Willie : Oh really? Is that how you got the upper hand?
Marcus : Fuck you.
Willie : Negotiating?
Marcus : You don't like it? Next year, fuck off. I can always get another box jockey.
Willie : Yeah and I can get another midget too.
Marcus : Yeah? Where? You see us hanging off of fucking trees like fucking crab apples?
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Gin : Man is a sexual being.
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Gin : You know what I see when I look at you? America's got a sad future ahead of it.
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Bob Chipeska : [about Willie] Can you maybe find out something on this guy?
Gin : Fuck yeah.
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Gin : [after seeing a kid has placed a game in his pants] What's this?
Shoplifter : I was going to pay for it.
Gin : Wrong answer.