- Speedy Gonzales: Oh Merry Christmas Senor Duck, or as they say in my country Feliz Navidad!
- [under his breath]
- Speedy Gonzales: Tonto.
- Daffy Duck: What did you call me?
- Speedy Gonzales: Tonto... it means genius... in Spanish.
- Daffy Duck: Well, in that case, I guess I'm the biggest tonto in the world!
- Priscilla Pig: Happy Holidays Mr. Duck. We're collecting donations for needy families.
- Daffy Duck: Well, that's an interesting spin on trespassing, pandering, and illegal solicitation... Scram before I send you all to elf prison!
- Daffy Duck: [with his usual lisp] Stop snacking on store merchandise mister or I'll see to it that you're arrested for stealing!
- Bugs Bunny: [wiping his face with Daffy's necktie] You might wanna stay away from the "s" words until you work through that little spitting problem of yours.
- Porky Pig: M-m-m-maybe you could see a speech thera-pe-thera-pe thera-pe... specialist.
- Daffy Duck: I'm not afraid of ghosts. In fact, I'm not afraid of anything. Except perhaps low quarterly profit projections and personal intimacy.
- Daffy Duck: [startled] What are you doing here?
- Bugs Bunny: I asked the little guy in the helmet downstairs if he knew of any cheap skates and he sent me up here.
- Yosemite Sam: I'm the ghost of Christmas present you greedy little holiday wrecking varmint.
- Daffy Duck: That's only part of who I am. I'm actually quite complex.
- Daffy Duck: You have a firm grasp of guilt Mr. Ghost but you just don't understand the first thing about greed.
- Sylvester the Cat: You see, I was just like you once: small-minded, selfish and seriously greedy. And if you don't change your ways, you'll end up just like yours truly.
- Daffy Duck: Not a chance. I'd never be stupid enough to buy my employees a forklift.
- Granny: Now what have you learned?
- Daffy Duck: That life is cruel, and the only way to survive is to be as selfish as possible?
- Priscilla Pig: Merry Christmas, Uncle Daffy!
- Daffy Duck: [suspicious] Uncle? Well, that's pushing it a little...
- [Pricilla kisses Daffy on the cheek, catching him off guard. Daffy looks sheepish. Pricilla laughs]
- Daffy Duck: Okay, Uncle Daffy it is.