Sea Divers

"Sea Divers" was a pilot for a series the networks never picked up...and I could easily see why. The characters are really annoying and the big finale comes off as silly and contrived thanks to some pedestrian writing.

Gorman and Gilbert are two annoying and very horny guys who own a private diving business. When a pretty lady tries to hire them, naturally they begin sexually harassing her. But, despite their juvenile antics, she hires the jerks anyway. During this meeting you marvel at how unprofessional the two guys are but even more at how ultra-annoying the sister is. You just wanted to see one of them backhand her and tell her to SHUT UP!! No, I am not advocating violence...but she really rubs EVERYONE wrong every time she is on screen. Anyway, Hilda wants Gorman and Gilbert to help her retrieve some lost documents from a sunken ship. But, as time passes, the pair come to realize that their employer isn't being the least bit honest with them. It all culminates with an underwater fight where the pair manage to easily beat a larger group of heavily armed baddies.

The film is full of stupid stuff. Most of it is because the characters are such unlikable jerks. Additionally, there are some inexplicable things-- such as the angry guy who likes assaulting people. What's with that? How many people REALLY beat the crap out of anyone who rings their door?! Also, the younger jerk handles the spear gun like it's a piece of beef jerky-- pointing it all over the place and even in people's faces as he's talking to them! All in all, a truly horrible and badly written pilot.

If you care to see it (and I wouldn't if I were you), it can be obtained from archive.org.