Metroid: Other M

Yahtzee: Other M is a new installment of the Metroid series deveoped third party style by Team Ninja, who are most notably responsible for Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball, or, as it's sometimes known, Boing! My main concern, therefore, was that they would nail gel-filled mousepads to the front of Samus's power armour, but they didn't go that far. They just made the armour fall off every ten seconds like it's held on with Blu-Tack. You know, I always thought that after the initial shock at the end of the very first Metroid - that Samus's breastplate was more appropriately named than you thought - the series's position has basically been that she's a lady, just deal with it, yo. But Other M just can't seem to stop banging on about it. The plot is somewhere between Aliens and G.I. Jane and has a central theme of motherhood, which is woven into the narrative about as subtly as a sperm whale in an airplane luggage compartment. There's a stricken spaceship shaped like a baby's bottle and referred to as a "bottle ship" just in case you didn't catch it the first time, and Samus - clad in this season's most hideous shade of snot yellow - is called to it by what is referred to as a "baby's cry" variety of distress signal. So named, according to Samus's "Fully Voiced" narration, because it's specifically designed to draw attention. As opposed, presumably, to all those distress signals that are designed to just kind of scoot by unnoticed.