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Reviews
Snatch (2000)
The wacky british
If it wasn't for a teacher suggesting this, I would of NEVER seen it, but I'm glad I did. The visuals are superb, a true innovative style that could only be indie. The music was great, and the way Ritchie was able to do music without dialouge was breath taking, and after seeing this I bought the sound track, barely ever hearing of the artists. The best part though was the direction used to bring the two stories together, pure genius. My brother on the other hand though... fell asleep.
Save the Last Dance (2001)
In simple terms, IT SUCKED
I never really liked MTV, except for Daria, it just always seemed so commercial and phoney and anything for a good time. BUT NOW I REALLY HATE MTV! Guess what kids, MTV is only in it for the money, and they don't care how they get it. So what they did was mix a sappy unreal story, some dancing, and hot young stories, to make what they knew would be a success. Got to remember, big brother MTV always knows what's right.
Mumford (1999)
Sleep Inducing
I shall start off by saying, if you want to see this film, be sure to down ALOT of caffine before begining it. I enjoy an easy going film now and then, but this was just plain cheesy, so cheesy that it had no substance to it, and caused me to fall asleep halfway. For the light hearted only.
Kids (1995)
Very Disturbing
Hi, I'm 14 and live in a small town. So that probably means I am nothing like the kids in this movie. I still find it disturbing that people around my age do this kind of stuff with no remorse. The majority of the hicks in my town are sex fiends so I can sort of relate to this film, I know a girl who's 14 and has already had 2 abortions, and I can't help but think what's becoming of society, and this film reassures my disgust.
Batman Forever (1995)
Down with sequels
Ok, good acting, never thought I would ever see a Kilmer performance I actually liked. Great visuals, the gothic effect was really done well, and the soundtrack was superb, one of my favorites in my collection. So... why didn't I like this? Because there is only so much you can milk a cash cow before it becomes bland, I'm tired of the franchise, and there's really nothing that hasn't been done yet in this movie that wasn't done better before.
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
Waste of my time
I liked the original, it was zany but it kept itself from becoming too cartoonish. This on the other hand is more cartoon/comic than movie, and would of been better if it was done as a cartoon. This movie is a shameless piece of crap with a bad plot, so it just tries to fill up as much as it can with lame jokes.
The Mask (1994)
Wacked out special effects (SORTA SPOILERS)
I don't care much for Jim Carrey, since his acting itself seems like his own personal mask, but I was able to sit all the way through this with out throwing anything at the television. Overall an average movie with a couple of highs like the dog, and the extravagant dance numbers. Good for a boring day.
Dumb and Dumber (1994)
As the name says
This is one of the few movies I can actually say I really really hated. I tried to like it, but it was just so corny and full of dumb jokes that it couldn't be saved. The acting is even worse, and I can't believe that crap like this has a huge following while smarter and funnier movies go unnoticed.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Showcase of the freak
A classic 90's comedy that I saw before I even knew who Jim Carrey was. Jim Carrey shows no shame through out the entire movie, and manages to keep it afloat despite the messed up script, and a bunch of uninspired performances by other cast members. Starts out great but loses interest towards the end.
Captain Ron (1992)
I'm going to be seasick
What an extremely dumb slapstick! I know that slapsticks usually arent't very advanced but this is just messed up. Stupid jokes, bad acting, annoying characters, and want to be crude humor is what you can expect to find if you rent this movie. Beware, watching may lower your IQ.
Moonwalker (1988)
Scuse me while I horf
Whose idea was it to make a movie with Michael Jackson as the star? Because whenever I find that person, he's going down. A reason why I always carry my baseball bat with me. Story's dumb, visuals dumber, and that music makes me want to crash into a wall. Love that claymation bunny though. LONG LIVE THE BUNNY!
Three Fugitives (1989)
ZZZZZZZZ
Got to give this film credit for at least trying, but alas, it proves, no one does it as well as the French. This film is not funny, is barely sweet, and has almost no entertainment value, it's just there, and if you want to watch it, I would suggest you watch it at night when you're about to go to sleep.
Innerspace (1987)
What was that?
One thing I can say about Innerspace, IT'S DEFINATELY ORIGINAL. I figure it was a great idea on paper, but once it was made, in my opinion it came out a bit cheesy. It just seems to try to hard to balance it's action and comedy parts, and comes out neither funny or exhilarating. Though I gave it a 5 for the effort, and also the great effects. Kudos to the actors too for great performances.
Cross My Heart (1987)
Half way intresting
Dating is a heck hole, and this movie prooves it. I think the story is great since everyone has been there, and the acting is real, so you don't feel that these people are just examples in some Lifetime film. I would of given it a higher rating except that during the middle, it slows down, and makes a person lose interest. So, if you are going to see it, try fast forwarding through the middle for full enjoyment, because not only will you miss the boredom, but you also won't have to see Martin Short naked.
Half Baked (1998)
Wasted comedy at its finest
This movie is hilarious. Extremely stupid, but still hilarious. And even as unbelievable as it is, there are people actually like this, heck I know several of them. The thing that makes it so funny is the fact that a bunch of funny parts in the film actually happen. So if you want to see funny realism mixed with over the top fantasy, this is your film.
Return to Oz (1985)
Twisted brilliance (SPOILER)
Welcome to the magical land of Oz, or as it is portrayed in this movie, a psycho world of misery. This definatly could not be a kids movie since it's just so deep, and roams into the deep psyche of the world Oz, and exposes it as some adult's nightmare. (SPOILER) Yet as always it has to have a classic kids ending, otherwise I would of given it a 9 instead of a 7.
Life with Mikey (1993)
Not funny, just a little cute
Fox was the largest influence on me renting this, and by reading the back of the box, I wasn't expecting very much. Good thing I wasn't expecting any laughs, since this is very dull as a comedy, but I believe it makes a great family movie, based on it cuteness and morals.
Eye of the Stalker (1995)
My mom and I liked it
When I told my mom I was longing on to comment some movies, she told me to remember this and give and give it a good rating, I gave it a nine, since as much as I usually loathe Lifetime movies, for their country chitlin', and drunken cliches, I found this movie quite chilling, and it makes you think, it could happen at anytime.
Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)
Total crap
I like blues and jazz. I like comedy. I like the cast. So why did I hate the movie? Probably because of my sky high expectations. Goes to show me that I should NEVER EVER get my hopes up for sequels, especially John Landis sequels. Oh yeah, the music in this movie, taped is fine, performed is utter crap.
Sgt. Bilko (1996)
One good film
I've never been much for army comedy, but I've always had a place for the actors in this movie, which is what persuaded me to watch this. It was well worth it. Wonderful family oriented type jokes, that will entertain all ages. Kudos to the cast, for wonderful performances. I hope we see a sequel.
Tommy Boy (1995)
Liked it.
Black Sheep sucked, and I saw it before this, and considering that I was forced into watching this, by a bunch of moron friends (not like they are ever going to read this), I liked it a lot better, it's really sweet. All the actors did great with the script, which you can tell was mostly adlibbed. Well worth the $0.49 (heh heh) cents I paid for it at the rental place.
Coneheads (1993)
Great for losers
An SNL thirty second skit, turned into a ten minute skit, turned into an hour-thirty feature picture, that seems to never end. I didn't like the original Coneheads, when watching some tribute, so why did I see some glimmer of hope when renting this. I don't know, but I should really stop following my hunches. Except for a (very) few funny parts, I want the two hours of my life back.
Dragnet (1987)
As boring as the show
I never thought I could say this, but there is something more boring than the show Dragnet... The movie. If your feeling like an Insomniac this will have you out like a light in no time. Around twenty minutes in you just start getting this feeling of absolute hopelessness, but your probably watching it since it's the only thing on the tube. Nighty Night sweety.
Cold Dog Soup (1990)
Weird enough to work (Enough SPOILERS to count as SPOILERS)
It's sick, it's different, and it's weird enough to watch just for interest of what's going to happen to next. (SPOILER HERE!) Who can resist a movie where a girl's hand get's eaten by a machine, (That's SPOILER 1, HERE'S NUMBER 2) Or a dog that drinks Margaritas, and continually sniffs at Frank Whaley's, well you'll find out. And the performances are pretty good, The two leads Randy Quaid or James Belushi, I always forget who it is (pretty sure it's Quaid), is great as the psycho driver who tries to lighten up poor Mike (Frank Whaley) who plays the chararctor in a great, "It's not my fault, don't look at me" sense. Though the women who played Sarah Hughes I don't think was very good as the sultry woman.
Pulp Fiction (1994)
I was grounded for watching this
AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. I love this movie, who cares if it's violent? Worlds full of enough politically correct wimps already. For anyone who needs a laugh and is not offended by EXTREME VULGARITY, knock yourself out. Quick note to Frank fans: you probably are going to want to stay clear of this, you'll thank me later. :)