Reviews
Future Fear (1997)
Don't Fear this great movie!
If you love to watch bad movies, then here's one for you. Though not quite as great as Troll 2, Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy, or Black Rage, Future Fear is definitely worth watching for all you freaks out there. A the start of the movie, you get to see what looks like two remote-control planes flying through a desert. At least I thought they were remote control. It turns out that they're supposed to be real! That's where the fun begins. Soon you find out about the confusing plot involving the rights of cloned fetuses, who one of the main characters loves with a mother's passion. Then you'll get to see the bad-guy' fortress, which on the inside looks just like any old office building, and numerous other details. Overall, the acting is abysmal, the plot is nonexistant, and the special effects are a sin on all of humanity--which leaves you with a fine film indeed. Watch it as soon as possible!
Far Out Man (1990)
Basically a high budget home movie of the Chong family.
If you are a big fan of the Cheech and Chong films,you might want to give Far out Man a try, but unless youre really starved for Tommy Chong and his Hippie comedy, I say to stay Far Out of this movie's way. The plot is rather thin, the humor is far-placed and unfunny, and overall I'd say that this film is quite boring. You'll get to see Chong's son and daughter, along with his wife--all of whom can't act in the slightest, and take up large portions of the movie. It's basically a home video, which he probably put together just to have a good time with the family. I'm sure it was great fun for them, but for us it's only a lame film.
The Comic (1985)
'The Comic'? It should have been called 'The Tragic'.
When I picked up a copy of The Comic at a truck stop for $1, I expected a bad movie. But I never expected something this horrible. I thought it would be a trashy horror film with a comedian who murders people while telling lame jokes. The box said "He's a real cut-up!", suggesting such a movie. But instead of a campy horror film, we get a confusing, boring and pretentious foreign film that doesn't make the least bit of sense. It was a half-hour into the movie that I realized that it was in a post-apocolyptic future, and after that, it kept on jumping back and forth between flash-back and dream sequence, that I didn't know what in the blue hell was happening. I think the movie makers tried to put a bunch of symbolizm and meaning into many of scenes, but in a crappy film like this, it doesn't really matter at all. I almost fell asleep during this movie, and I love bad movies. Unless you like sitting through three hours of hellish tedium, don't watch The Comic.
Tower of Evil (1972)
Not as bad as you would think.
Me and a friend rented Tower of Evil because there was a naked woman on the back of the box, holding a bloody knife. You know a movie's bad when they have to show nudity on the back of the box. So naturally, we had to see it. We knew it would be total trash and were not disappointed. Of course, it could have been worse. It didn't become truly comical most of the time--and at some points, there was actually a feeling of suspense, and the atmosphere was pretty good for a trashy horror film. The sets were pretty nice too. Still, it was trash. The acting was terrible, all the sexual stuff was pretty lame and badly done, and the conclusion was both predicatable and disappointing. I say if you're going to make a movie like this, you should either make it really good, or so bad it becomes an instant cult classic. No in between. So see this if you've got nothing better to do, or like this kind of movie.
La momia azteca contra el robot humano (1958)
Muy Bueno!
This is a totally awesome movie! If you haven't seen it yet, you damn well should. Sure, the plot is slow to develop, the special effects are laughable, the acting is ridiculous and the action is badly choreographed, but as wrestler DDP would say; That's not a bad thing....that's a good thing! Everything about this movie is hilarious, especially if you get the dubbed version, which has even worse actors. It's countless laughs until you get to the end, yearning for the sequel, where the mummy fights wrestling women. Thus, I give it ten stars. Unless you're one of those 'discriminating' and 'intelligent' people with good taste, who likes only 'high quality' films of the highest calibre, I recommend this utterly monkeydellic movie!
Shadow Warriors (1995)
An excellently bad film, filled with mistakes and errors.
WARNING: SOME SPOILER INFO MAY BE FOUND IN THIS REVIEW, ALTHOUGH I BELIEVE THAT WITH THIS FILM, IT HARDLY MATTERS.
I must begin this review by stating that I am a lover of bad films. With that out of the way, I must say that Shadow Warriors filled me with joy, as it is possibly one of the worst films ever, right down there with Troll 2. The plot is basically that of a generic sci-fi action film; they wrote it in about five minutes, and it is essentially a rip-off of Universal Soldier, or Robocop, but far worse. Basically, a corporation is trying to make cyborg bodyguards by killing people and putting computers in their brains. Of course, something goes wrong, and one of them rebels, kills the evil corporate guys, and must eventually be stopped by another such cyborg. The plot is simple, but where this movie truly shines is in all the various mistakes the film-makers made. They basically did only one take of each scene; and this results in various funny things turning up in the movie. Example 1: a truck shows up with a bunch of soldiers; it has no roof, and you can see them all. The next instant, you see the same group, but it's clear that it's a different truck, this time with a roof! Example 2: The same actor shows up three different times as three different soldiers, each
of which is killed. Since you see his face clearly, its obviously the same guy! Example 3: Much like with the truck, but this time, they switch helicopters on us in the final scene. Example 4: One character throws a grenade at the other guy, who dodges it and leaps to the side. The grenade, however, falls at the thrower's feet and explodes, not where it was intended to go. Also, it seems that the 'main character' who is presented to us at the start of the movie, shows up only in a few scenes, and hardly does anything. They basically switch heroes on us as well. This movie is filled with such bloopers, along with terrible acting, a worthless story, and many other fine features that make this an incredibly enjoyable film. Be sure to watch it.