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bjornrhein
Reviews
Trap (2024)
A new low water mark is reached
I didnt believe for a minute this would be a good movie, but I watched it anyway cause I had nothing else , and it was bad, it was so bad it was insane
The story was a joke , the acting was on schooltheatre level , and if you want to do a movie about nothing, put some money in it so atleast the production works, also this movie have so many plotholes you can walk straight through it
I cant even understand someone came up with the idea to make a movie about this , absolute no material atall , mostly the movie is about the singing preformence, and actually it was the only plus I could give this movie, 1 star to the singing girl.
Demonic (2015)
But its ok
Its an ok movie, Ive seen it before and it was worth a second time
Acting is ok , directing is good, the story is clever, and its a low budget movie with great ideas how to expend the money as far as it goes
On minus side, they cut in found footage clips and that is just annoying, and the horror dont work so well, not spooky, and the jumpscares are just dumb , its this ordinary when someone opens a door a cat jumps out , cheap tricks and nothing new
But again, the story is good and it kind of lift up the movie and carries it all the way to the end , this is a typical 4-6 stars rating movie, mostly people think its ok and thats what it is, its just ok.
Longlegs (2024)
Perhaps with a real actor playing longlegs
It might had worked
But again Nicolas cage shows the world how amazing bad he is , I think he might have done hes worst preforme ever , maybe wickerman wins but this is on 3 top
This is a bad movie, story is a mess , fast written garbage, you lose interest pretty fast and in the end you are total apathetic and cant even reach for the remote control to switch it of
People think this reminded of Seven, What an insult, perhaps it was some stolen parts from silence of the lamb but nothing reminded of Seven
What the hell happend in the end, I dont know and I dont care, was just happy it finally ended , lord What garbage this was.
Darkman (1990)
Expiredate 1999
Ive seen this movie before back in the days when it came out and I remember I liked it, but now its outdated and I cant even understand I though this garbage was good, the story is so bad its insane, the acting is on the the same level as a schooltheatre, not even menchen plotholes and cheap shortcuts
Actually I wonder if perhaps sam raimi put more work on his evil dead movies than this trash
But ok, its an old movie and its not strange its just a bad movie today , funny how it seems to be a big budget in this one also, but its not helping the bad story, darkman might be mostly a comedy but without laughs.
Mi Mefakhed Mehaze'ev Hara (2013)
Absolute fantastic
Ive seen this movie a couple of times and its just deliver every time, never get bored on this amazing movie , this is a great example how to make a a good movie with no budget, actually you just need a good story
This is a chambergame, few people in one room , acting is important and this motley crew nails it , directing and production is very good also and thats about it then , the key for a great movie and no money needed
I could see peoples bad reviews and I can agree with some of the critics aswell, the guy in the chair should ask for proof, and he is irrational in his behavour here and there, but its not a perfect movie its just a very good movie.
Southbound (2015)
Some movies have it , Some dont
I like anthology, but its too often we can see this kind of anthology like southbound, low budget, bad acting and amateur production, sometimes even that can work, but then the stories need to be very good
Southbound dont have anything, anthology with bad acting and bad stories, some good ideas yes, but its just not good enough, its not complete garbage, you watch it with a half eye and it work on a rainy boring sunday with a hangover pizza , but not on a friday evning with popcorn in your lap
Its easy to write a mystic story when you dont need to explain it , things just happends without a reason.
Satanic Panic (2019)
Its good until its not
Ive seen this movie before and I must say it was a bit better second time I saw it, perhaps because the second time you just know it and cant be disappointed on it like the first time
But I must love the idea of this movie, too bad the story could not keep up with it , the beginning is very good, but in halftime it turns around and fade out , too little material I guess
Its a low budget movie but the production is good and also acting is good, and sure the movie is a good comedy, good entertainment , but again, the second part is not as good as the first
But this is an ok horror comedy, without shine.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
Save private Cat
I believe the word Im looking for is stupid, because this was one of the most stupid movies ever made
So if you would be in a town of aliens who only can use their hearings, would you walk around with a cat ? Or would your highest wish be to find a pizza? Hey why not invite in some alien dudes for some slices aswell
And military , just use a loud decoy in the corner of the island and snipe them down
And why do they hide when they see an alien? And just put som slippers on your feets and sneak down to the water
This movie has so many plotholes a cheese would be green of envy just to see the cover of it
This is not a good movie, funny so many people put 6 stars on this one and then they make a review about how bad the movie was , this is something between 2-4 stars, thats ok not more not less.
The Collection (2012)
In my dvd collection
Ive seen this movie before and I didnt like it atall, but its because this one could not follow up the masterpiece Collector , and I was so disappointed
But like 10 years later I gave it a second chance and this time I must say it was not that bad as I remembered it, the idea is very good but perhaps someone else should have done the story cause its a bit,,, childish , and also its a low budget movie, if you dont have the money to do cool stuff in a movie, just dont do it atall
The mystic that was so romantic in the first one was now gone , they changed the creepy guy to some stupid murdermachine with a machinegun
But yet,, its an ok movie.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
Wicked
Depends what you want of john wick movies, if you just like mindless violence and stupid action this is of course 10 stars, but if you want a good story and clever ideas how to build it up , this is 1 star
I liked the first one, good story, revenge, tough guy and hooligans , also liked the mystic hotel, people who controlled things behind the curtains , but this one killed all the romance I had with the ones before, its not a mystic hotel anymore , its 20 levels of different syndicates , only expected God to strike down a lighting as the last one
This movie had some moments and its well done , production is great, acting also , but its nothing for me and I hope they wrap it up now and stop this garbage.
Eight for Silver (2021)
Eight for imdb
Well , almost 8 atleast
The movie is little bit cut in half , we have the brilliant first half and the doubful second half
The first is scary, evil ,dark and brutal , you got captured in it pretty much in the start already, and you sit like a burning candle when you watch it , its has this creepy chill feeling all over and also its a clever story
In the middle just when it suppose to explode in rockets something turns , like they are out of ideas and now reinvent the wheel instead with ordinary horror tricks thats make you yawn, and dont let me even start with last 10 minutes
But its a good movie, acting is amazing and great idea and most of the story
Were reading the 1 star reviews and they are eyerollers all of them , some clowns gave this movie 1 star cause the gypses were from romania, and one joker gave this movie 1 star cause they used CGI effects, well sorry buddyboy, maybe they couldnt find a real werewolf.
Arcadian (2024)
Is that gremlins
What does a director want when he create a low budget b movie,,, they want a famous name on the cover , who can be in it 20 minutes so it dont cost that much, and we all know what name that will be there every time
But I missed that when I rented this garbage, same second I saw Cage I also knew this will be a bad movie, and it was , its not because Cage is a bad actor or something, its because every movie he does is trash
Many did reviews about the cameraguy, but he is not to blame, he did what he had to , this is low budget, and the cheapiest way to do that is the found footage way, shake, twist and turn and we dont see what is happening
Its not complete garbage, the idea was good, acting works fine but the story is bad, it never gets creepy, and you just never feel the chill as you can do in Im a legend for example that reminds a bit of this one , and thats because its a bad director, the movie also is full of stupid plotholes and most of all its irrational and annoying, and dont let me start with the monsters.
You can watch it a rainy sunday with a hangover pizza, but not a friday evning with popcorn.
Cursed (2020)
Season 9 of GoT
No this is not a good story, its fast written and mostly stolen parts from other fantasy books, most of all its stupid
Acting is not so good, felt like they were thinking "no one will watch this garbage anyway " when they were doing this, and the director, well was there even a director there? Maybe he gave up as I did pretty fast, I could not keep watching this, it just went worse and worse
Some clowns gave this trash 10 stars. Said this was the best ever , what jokers is this? Lord of the rings is perhaps 9 stars and you put this higher then ,, or most likely you havnt seen that one yet
No this is not good.
Scream VI (2023)
One movie to rule them all
But its not this one , they keep reinvent the wheel all over again, the first one worked well since it was the first of course, but also the story was good, but the rest kind of just follow the path and its boring
This movie then , well its not a bad ,,,, start,,, but I guess its about it then
Rest is about a guy in a mask chasing people with a knife , and everyone needs 100 stabs before they die
Story is thin and acting is sometimes really bad , but if I must find something good I think the production is very well, murders look real and all are made in quality
I dont know for whom this movie are made, perhaps teenage crews in cinema or something, throwing popcorn and laugh when someone dies
But its not made for mee atleast.
Grotesquerie (2024)
So a priest a nun and a detective walks into a bar
This is not a good serie, and I must say Im so surpriced with all these people who liked this garbage so much, I really tried like it aswell but it was just not possible
The story is stupid, and its strange and not strange in a good way, its strange in an annoying way , the story wants duplicate the movie seven of course and it actually could have done that with some clever ideas, but the writers had so many drama ideas about life situations instead so actually its not that much police work in this atall
And I just dont believe for a minute the police appartment would let this alcoholic drunk detective keep working, the whole serie is just irrational.
Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)
Its just not that good
I think the first deadpool is brilliant, the second was garbage and this one is ok I guess, the humour is back, missed that in the second , but now I can call it a comedy again
The reason this has so many good reviews is because the marvel fans is the first wave to watch this movie, and the marvel fans will explode in atoms when they watch this , but after that wave passed there will be more ordinary people watch this and the rating will be lower, because this is little bit tailored for the marvels
But yes, its good humour again, the production is amazing and its hardcore action from start to end, but for me the story is a mess , its just a bad story and cant like it , the first one was so good, its sad they cant follow it up.
Frontière(s) (2007)
Violence
Well Ive seen this movie a couple of times, and I like it, but think its a typical 5-7 star movie, the reviews lower or higher just want to manipulate the ratings system
The story is good, yes its clearly lots of ideas is stolen also, texas chainsaw, salo , hostel, wrong turn , but this story standing on its own legs its good and solid, acting is good, direction is ok , its violent and brutal , so yes its a good movie
I dislike the final girl, annoying,, and the ending is kind of boring action, could have been so much better, and there is some plotholes and misstakes aswell, like in the beginning when they come to a hospital straight after a giant riot in Paris, the hospital is empty and the nurse looks surpriced when a bleeding man comes in and wonder what happend,, well not much for a riot then I guess.
Don't Move (2024)
Don't watch
No its not a good movie, its a stupid movie, and it has so many plotholes a cheese would be green of envy
The idea is ok and with little smart fillers in this movie it could have been something, the acting is good and production works ok , but its the dumb story and the director who flip this movie around
If you find a girl lying in your garden wouldnt you call 991
If you are one of these who dont see plotholes or get annoyed when situations are irrational, this will work for you, just as it has with the rest of the reviews who think this is a great thriller, but if you like movies with quality and higher levels, you will think this is a stupid movie.
The Wind (2018)
The yawn
This is not a good movie, its annoying and pretty boring, even when something is happends, its just boring
Many people compare this movie with The witch and its a thin line between these 2 movies I must agree, both is some kind of chambergame, few people in the same spot , dark times, insanity and slow moving. But the witch is clever, amazing acting and made in a time when religion was pushing people to madness, the witch is fantastic
But this one dont own the same charm , its just about a woman sneaking around with a gun, sometimes she shoot on something we never can see , its mostly stupid and weird.
Pandorum (2009)
Well
Pandorum is a good movie, Ive seen this movie a couple of times and its good scifi without sparkles , but its a good movie, first time I saw it I liked it alot, so perhaps not fair to rate it now of course since there is some surprices baked in this movie that only work one time
But also same things that disturb me now already disturbed me the first time, I dont like the start, Im not sure what it is but I really dont like the first 20 minutes, they want it to be a mystic feeling but it dont work for me , then I must say I dont like any of the characters in this movie, they are superheroes or they are goofys, and I think its a misstake , should have used kind of ordinary people instead
Many reviews though this was hybrid between alien and event horizon but I dont agree , just because its a spaceship it just dont flirt so much with those 2 productions, but more with the descent movies then , but thats a positive vibe also, well like I said, its a good movie, but not more.
The Cleaning Lady (2018)
Mixed feelings
Well Im not sure what I though about this movie, its too long and moving slow in a bad way, the material is thin for a whole movie, actually this could have been perfect in a shorter version in some anthology serie, I think the biggest problem with the movie is how slow it is cause its just boring
But,,, things are ready to change, halfway in the movie its getting better and better, this girl looks so creepy, and she is so creepy, and now I would call this a very good horror movie , and I could see many reviews did not like the ending, but I loved it , and why does people allways need full explainations on every detail, this girl is a hardcore mental psychopath, they do crazy things
Good acting, good direction and must say production is well done with low budget, the only bad things was the first half of the movie, its just a bit boring.
Violation (2020)
Yawn
How boring can it be ? Ask yourself that question before you watch this, you will be surpriced I can tell you that already now
Its the same couple who wrote this garbage that also is the directors , I will never see anything again with these 2 its clearly they should not be in the entertainer business since they dont understand it
This is so boring its insane, and its a mess since they jump between timelevels, this is called revenge movie but really,, was it that bad she had to kill , just go to the police, but if you know want to kill instead, why complicate it so much, it went even stupid
No this is not a good movie, and people who like this is this crew with artistic mind that like to hype trash like this.
Immaculate (2024)
Pointless
Well this is about a young nun going to a convent in Italy, the young nun seem to know absolute nothing about nunnery convent since she is surpriced about everything, but she is not alone about knowing nothing, the writers know absolute nothing about convent either cause this looks like a 5 star hotel more than a monastery, its wine , dinner and spa
The acting and production is good, its not a low budget movie, but its the story that fail, its just so simple and boring, they put in easy jumpscares but you can see it coming miles away, no creepy feelings atall , and then they spice it up with some mindless violence in the end
Who are these people who like this then , well I guess newbies mostly, if you havnt seen that much horror I guess this work very well, but for the veterans , this is same same again, a big yawn.
Something Undone (2021)
Something undone alright
And that is the ending, what the hell happend
Neither you like this serie or not I think we all can agree about the start was very good, I was nailed the 4 first episodes, spooky, clever, mystic and just well done, but just when it felt like this serie could be the best ever, something turns and then it went down faster than a submarine with a screen door
No , it just made a meteorite fall and crashed real hard , the story could have been so good but they just wanted this stupid drama so much it destroyed the whole serie, annoying characters and a bad director helped alot also
Its not a good serie, but sure , its ok to watch a rainy sunday, but not a friday evning with popcorn in your lap.
Pengabdi Setan (2017)
Its not bad
But,,,
No its just not that good either, seems to me this is a bit overrated and looks like people like it mostly because its an indonesian horror movie and thats enough
Lots of people made coments like this is not Hollywood garbage and things like that, but it is Hollywood garbage, from indonesia , the whole movie is written in just that typical way all movies are that are made in the horrormovie factory , Ive seen so many movies like this before, lots of stolen parts from other movies
But the acting is pretty good, and also the production, its a well done horror movie and it keep you on the edge a couple of times, but the closer you come to the end the more boring it gets, its just the same scene all over again, run around, scream for help, bang on a door, run around, scream for help,,, yawn.