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ShadeGrenade
'Golden Age Of Television? No It Was Not!'
The highbrow Fifties and Sixties represented broadcasting's zenith, runs the received wisdom. JAMES FLOPINSON begs to differ in an exclusive article you will be able to read in every other paper today...
Here we go again. Some toffee-nosed yesterday's man who used to front 'Panorama' tries to make a name for himself at the Edinburgh Festival by telling us how much 'better' British television was in the 'good old days'. Ho, ho, ho, say I to that. News has been dumbed down, documentaries sensationalised or pushed to the edges of the schedule, and lifestyle programmes dominate the listings. What twaddle! Reality T.V., says the chattering classes, is the blister on the big toe of the modern age, and how much better it was when we had 'The Ascent Of Man', 'Civilization' and 'The Christians'. What these people don't mention of course is that there were only three channels in Britain then. Why? Could not anyone count in those days? If the technology existed to create three channels, why was it not used to create loads more? Alright so there were no reality shows or makeover programmes, but hours of boring programmes showing old people how to play dominoes. None of these shows exists anymore, thank God, but how tedious it must have been for the discriminating viewer who loves to see sixteen year old girls jumping naked into swimming pools. There were huge gaps in the schedules until recently, which meant there was nothing on in the afternoons on B.B.C.-2 except those silly 'Trade Test Films' about homemade cars and cattle carters in Australia, while over on I.T.V. housewives watched 'Crown Court' and cried because it wasn't 'Loose Women'. Yes, there are fewer 'serious' programmes on primetime today. 'Johnny Go Home' could never be made now, and viewers can remain blissfully ignorant of the plight of homeless young people in London. Who remembers 'Market In Honey Lane', the number one show in April 1967? Well, I do, obviously, else I would not have mentioned it here, but millions don't. The news in those days was excruciatingly dull, consisting of a man in a suit sitting behind a desk reciting plain facts. Now we have tasty bimbos bestriding a set that looks like the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise, while jaunty music is used to pep up reports of earthquake disasters in India. We also no longer have inane stuff like 'On The Move' in which Bob Hoskins showed adults how to read. U.S. imports long ago lost their domination of primetime, now we have shows with clever titles like 'My Breasts Need A Firm Hand', '10 Most Embarrassing Things About Being Dead', 'Celebrity Blow Football' and 'Wudja Cudja Kickk Der Bukkit Fer Dosh?'. Saturday night schedules are better too, whereas people once watched 'The Black & White Minstrel Show' with its unmistakeable racial overtones, they can now watch repeats of 'Little Britain' with its unmistakeable racial overtones. Those expensive comedy spectaculars made by L.W.T. have long since been replaced by smug young men at desks cracking gags at the expense of '40's newsreel footage. Progress is a marvellous thing, isn't it? Many shows that would have been on B.B.C-1 in the Sixties are now on B.B.C.-4 where they get far fewer audiences. Just as many shows that are on B.B.C.-1 now will soon be on U.K. Gold where they too will get far fewer audiences. That is the way the game is played. Some B.B.C. executives pontificate about audience segmentation. I think this to be a good thing. Remember the bad old days when 28 milion people all saw the same show? How embarrassing it was to have to admit to your mates the next day you never saw it because your set had exploded? All that is now a thing of the past because nobody watches anything anymore. People get information on programmes from the Internet. Often before they are made. British viewers started a fan club for 'Heroes' before the ink was dry on the pitch document. The golden age of T.V. never existed. There is more now and much of it is far better, Just ask Davina McCall. In the words of Sixties Prime Minister Harold Macmillan 'fetch my shotgun, Dorothy. I'm off to the moor to bag a few grouse'.
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'When I Get Old'
A Funny Little Poem
When I get old
I'm going to have some fun.
I want to irritate, aggravate
and generally annoy everyone.
I'll wear flared trousers
Nylon cardigans, polka-dot cravats,
Tartan scarves, woollen mittens
Orange trousers with great green spats.
I'll throw eggs at The Mayor
Write to 'The Daily Mail'
Send fan mail to Pat Boone
And my loose change to 'Save The Whale'.
I'll go to Asda's and yell &Tesco!&
Donate my laundry to a charity shop
Then when they've washed it all
I'll go there and buy back the lot.
I'll hold up post office queues
By chatting to the staff.
Grow conifers in my front garden
Dump sacks of coal in my bath.
I'll argue with shop assistants
Over the price of a loaf
And when the manager intervenes
I'll call him a 'XXXX-ing oaf'.
I'll drink beer at �1 a pint
Grumble about the juke-box noise.
Jog drinkers' elbows
Pick fights with the rougher boys.
I'll brag about my army days
Even though I didn't serve.
Flash a chestful of plastic medals
Only when I'm old will I have the nerve.
I'll play dodgems with my Tesco trolley
Give dirty looks to unmarried mothers
Castigate disabled drivers
Wave my brolly angrily at all the others.
I'll go on the B.B.C.'s 'Question Time',
To demand that conscription and hanging be brought back.
Endorse the views of Richard Littlejohn
By calling for the Chancellor to get the sack.
When I get old
I want to be all the things I've never been.
A reactionary, a pain in the neck
Not moody, mot magnificent - just plain mean!
copyright Shade Grenade 2007
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Reviews
The Life of Riley: Double Time (1975)
Office intrigue
The final episode of the Grenada sitcom - written by Brian Finch - opens with a scene that would not be allowed today. 'Riley' ( Bill Maynard ) is out and about, collecting money from customers. A woman invites him into her home. We see curtains being drawn. When Riley leaves, he is smiling like a Cheshire Cat. Nice work if you can get it.
Riley arranges for secretary Ethel Goodchild ( Eileen Kenally ) to meet him in his boss' office, and brings along a bottle of wine. One woman was not enough for him apparently. His son, Brian ( Frank Lincoln ) has the same idea - he brings along the saucy 'Janice Butcher' ( Susan Littler ). Both men forget to bring along cork-screws, so nobody gets any wine. The confusion is further compounded by the unexpected arrival of the John Comer character, whose wife has thrown him out after a row.
Nobody was sorry when the show was axed. H. V. Kershaw must have liked the idea because he rebooted it in 1978 as 'Leave It To Charlie' starring David Roper. Bill Maynard found greater success with his next sitcom - 'Oh No, Its Selwyn Froggitt'.
Dennis Ramsden, who plays 'Jeremy Spear' was 'Dr. 'Baldy' Hump' in 'The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin'.
Susan Littler's biggest triumph came in 1978 when she played pools winner Viv Nicholson in Jack Rosenthal's excellent 'Spend, Spend, Spend'. Cancer claimed her only a few years later. What of Frank Lincoln? I can find no more credits for him. Given how good he was in this, its strange.
Funniest moment - Brian thinks Janice is in the office ( in fact she is in a sleeping bag ) and talks in a soppy tone of voice, referring to himself as her 'little Tarzan'. The door opens and Brian sees he in fact is talking to his father!
Sands of the Desert (1960)
Charlie In the desert
'Sands Of The Desert' was Charlie Drake's first film ( he made four in total ) and, while he never quite matched the box-office appeal of Norman Wisdom or Jerry Lewis, there is a fair amount of fun to be had from them. He plays 'Charlie Sands' who is sent to the Middle East to open a British holiday camp. Of course, some of the locals don't want it and set out to wreck the project. Quite a number of British actors are cast as foreigners. Sarah Branch provides glamour. No overseas location filming was done - giving the movie a surreal, pantomime-like feel. There is a subplot about Charlie befriending a mute orphan girl, played by Rebecca Dignam. As you might expect from Charlie, there's a lot of physical comedy, such as him falling off stepladders and breaking tables. Complaining about someone who never said an offensive word in his life is strange. We live in an era where a comedian can now get big laughs by referencing the Holocaust. So please leave Charlie alone. So and enjoy your horrible modern humour.
Another reviewer said Charlie wore a wig. This is untrue. I wonder why those with zero appreciation of old school knockabout comedy bothered to watch the film, much less review it. They must enjoy complaining.
Funniest moment - Charlie invited to eat a sheep's head. Before he can take a bite, it bleats!
Second funniest moment - Charlie having a mirage and seeing a British fish and chip shop, followed by his Aunt Ada ( also played by Charlie ).
The plane flying upside down was inspired by Chaplin's classic 'The Great Dictator'.
Whoops Apocalypse (1987)
Another road to World War Three
Here's a rarity - a movie version of a television sitcom that is superior to the original.
A small British island in the Caribbean is taken over by a Communist force, led by 'General Mosquero' ( Herbert Lom ). Britain sends in a task force. Going along is a member of the Royal Family - the pretty but vacuous 'Princess Wendy' ( Joanne Pearce' ). The islands are retaken, but the the Princess is kidnapped by the terrorist 'Lacrobat' ( no, its not John Cleese, but America's Michael Richards ). He threatens to kill her unless British troops leave the island...
The series made fun of the Iranian hostage crisis of the early 80's; here its the Falklands War that is the comic target. Andrew Marshall and David Renwick wisely avoided repeating the original's storyline ( though a few gags are reused ). America has a woman President ( ah. If only ) - Barbara Adams, played by Loretta Swit of 'MASH' fame. The British Prime Minister is 'Sir Mortimer Chris' ( the great Peter Cook on top comic form ), who is modelled on Harold Macmillan with a dose of Liz Truss thrown in for good measure. He blames the unemployment problem on pixies! Anyone who disagrees with him gets crucified.
Alexei Sayle, Rik Mayall and Ed Bishop return ( playing different characters ). The satire is, as you might expect, outrageous. The 'Princess Wendy' character was inspired by Princess Diana and the now-disgraced Prince Andrew, the latter was a helicopter pilot at the time of the Falklands War. Tory-supporting tabloids such as 'The Sun' created the absurd impression he won the war all by himself.
Funniest moment - Sir Mortimer tackling Britain's unemployment by getting employed people to jump off a cliff, thereby creating job vacancies. I'm surprised Norman Tebbit did not think of the idea first!
Directed by Tom Bussmann.
The Life of Riley: Uneasy Riders (1975)
Having a butcher's
The Lancastrian Assurance Company's profits are down. Long faces all round. But there is one happy face amidst the gloom. 'Brian Riley' ( Frank Lincoln ) is doing great business.
His father 'Frank' ( Bill Maynard ) has a date with the glamorous 'Betty Butcher' ( Meg Johnson ) while Brian dates her daughter Janice ( Susan Littler ). Both men look all set to score until they are stricken by attacks of conscience...
Meg Johnson, who sadly died last year, is probably best remembered for her role as 'Eunice Gee' ( wife of cellar man Fred Gee ) in 'Coronation Street'. She was also blowsy landlady 'Phoebe Sankey' in Granada's wartime sitcom 'Yanks Go Home!'. When she dons sexy underwear, its a startling moment. She looks great! Moira Foot, who plays actress 'Arleen Moran' was 'Effie' the whispering maid in 'Hark At Barker' and its sequel 'His Lordship Entertains'.
Funniest moment - Frank and Brian, both of whose dates ended in disaster, are watching on television a film starring Arleen. From their expressions, its fair to assume the movie is not one for the Disney crowd. Frank exclaims " I'm going for a pint!" and walks out.
Mind Your Language: After Three (1978)
The school concert
The final episode of the second season of Vince Powell's hit sitcom. The students are given the chance to perform in a school concert. One by one, they audition for both Mr. Brown and Miss Courtney. To say they are not very good would be an understatement. Giovanni does impressions; all of them sound the same. Anna's farmyard impressions are no better. Danielle does an alluring dance ( she intends doing a striptease on the big night ). Zoltan performs Hungarian magic ( badly ) and so on and so forth.
This would be the final appearance of Zoltan. He later went back to Hungary. Ingrid would also depart to return in the 1986 revival. Both characters, however, remained in the 'Look-In' comic strip version of the show.
Funniest moment - Ali and Ranjeet put aside their cultural differences to do a comedy double-act. Ranjeet interrupts his partner with "I am saying, I am saying, I am saying!". Morecambe and Wise it isn't!
A quick call out to Tommy Godfrey for his splendid rendition of 'Any Old Iron?'.
Mr. Big: The Ashes (1977)
Ashes to ashes
Would-be criminal mastermind 'Eddie' ( Peter Jones ) has a new 'get rich quick scheme' - selling empty packets of washing powder to grocer 'Mr. Waller' ( Sam Kydd ) so he can claim a £10 prize as part of a sales promotion drive. 'Dolly' ( Prunella Scales ) and 'Norma' ( Carol Hawkins ) dress up as company employees. Eddie makes £55 but before he can get away in Ginger's ( Ian Lavender ) car, it stalls and an angry Waller ( along with other customers ) demand their money back.
Dolly finds out her Uncle Barney ( Edward Evans ) has died. In order to qualify for a share in his will, she must scatter her uncle's ashes on the Oval cricket game during the next game between England and the West Indies. Sounds easy. But where Eddie and his gang are involved, it will be anything but...
The last episode of the first season of the short-lived sitcom; starring and partly written by Peter Jones. The solicitors - 'Pauncefoot' ( Stanley Bates ) and 'Wrigley' ( Mike Ellis ) are a bizarre pair who look identical and keep finishing each other's sentences. They might have strayed out of an episode of 'The Avengers' television series. Bates was playing 'Bungle' the bear ion ITV's 'Rainbow' series at that time.
Note how the camera lovingly focuses on Carol Hawkins ( whose first name is mispelt in the opening titles ) as she stands near the pitch. The director may have been a member of 'Streaker-Watch UK' and was indulging in some wishful thinking. Scales gets to put on brownface at one point - a scene she's probably not proud of now. Norman Rossington appears as 'Sgt. Cook'.
Speaking of streaking, the funniest moment is Ginger dashing across the pitch, his tam o'shanter in a strategic place!
Mind Your Language: Take Your Partners (1978)
Who shall go to the ball?
The students are told to construct a story. Some imaginative answers result ( one is quoted on this page ).
Mr. Brown is blackmailed into buying a pair of expensive tickets for a charity ball. But who should he take as his partner? When Brown asks Gladys for some help with his dance moves, the tea lady thinks he has invited her. Anna is the lucky winner of a draw, and dresses up ( with Danielle and Ingrid's help ) to look like a 30's torch singer ( replete with long cigarette holder ). Someone is going to be let down. But whom...
Nice to see Jacki Harding wearing sexy clothes. Logically Brown's partner should have been either Danielle or Ingrid, but hey this is a sitcom. Finally, a compromise is found - Brown gets to dance with the women in turn.
Funniest moment - As Brown practises dancing with Gladys, he twirls into Miss Courtney's arms!
Whoops Apocalypse: Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun (1982)
The final day
The Quark Bomb is found before it can reach the furnace. Unfortunately, Lacrobat speeds into the crematorium and lands on top of the coffin. It goes into the furnace...and suddenly Israel no longer exists.
The Bomb had been on its way to the Shah to enable him to regain control of his country.
America denies all knowledge of the incident, and Cyclops warns the Russians to leave Iran...or face the consequences.
The Shah ( and Abdab ) are put aboard a NASA space shuttle. A technical fault results in the shuttle crashing back to Earth...and destroying Leningrad.
Dubienkin consults the Politiburo ( all old men kept inside freezers ) and gets the authorisation to launch a nuclear attack.
Funniest moment - the Chancellor and Foreign Secretary losing their minds ( just like the PM ) and dressing up like 'Green Lantern' and 'Hawkman' ( al D. C. Comics characters )
As you might have realised, this is bleak stuff by normal sitcom standards. The final scene has a tearful Cyclops leaving the Oval Office for the last time. It really is the end. The camera focuses on a photograph on Cyclops' desk. It is of a middle-aged woman. The same woman is the mushroom souvenir seller in the opening credits.
Mind Your Language: A Hard Day's Night (1978)
The lodger
Brown moves out of his flat while it is being decorated. He considers going to the YMCA, but then Max and Giovanni offer him a sofa to sleep on. They also throw a party for him. Brown accidentally is locked out of the flat and finds himself on the balcony. An elderly neighbour ( Lucy Griffiths ) thinks he is a burglar and calls the police...
Good episode, again moving the students out of the classroom. Giovanni confesses to Max he fancies Ingrid. She seems more interested in Ranjeet. Lucy Griffiths' credits include 'The Chimes Of Big Ben' episode of 'The Prisoner' and she was an old lady whose headphones exploded in 'Carry On Again Doctor' ( 1969).
Funniest moment - after being arrested a second time, Brown spends the night in a police cell. He gets no sleep. With him is Sid, smashed out of his mind, and singing like a bird!
Whoops Apocalypse: The Violet Hour (1982)
President Cyclops has brain surgery!
The macho 'General E. F. 'Gizzard' Pemberley ( Ed Devereaux ) addresses a squad of marines, and makes no attempt to disguise his sexual desire for them.
The President is in hospital, with a bodyguard sharing his bed. When he starts to see pink elephants ( actually, its a real one ), the Deacon sends for a psychiatrist. Alas, the latter is working for the Russians.
In London, PM Kevin Pork ( Peter Jones ) takes to dressing like Superman and flinching from Kryptonite. Britain joins the Warsaw Pact.
The Russians have invaded Iran. Dubienkin ( Richard Griffiths ) appears in public with the Ayatollah ( its really a life-sized dummy )
A normal day's events in other words. Lacrobat is ferrying the Quark Bomb ( formerly known as the Johnny Cyclops Bomb ) across a border by hiding it in a coffin. But it falls out the back of the hearse and is found by some American troops, who send it to the crematorium. Lacrobat steals a motorbike and races to avert disaster...
Another cracking episode. Events are hurtling towards a catastrophic climax, The un-P. C, humour might, however, make it a tough watch for modern audiences.
Funniest moment - Cyclops reciting his litany of woes and then warning his bodyguard not to eat the marzipan in his box of chocolates!
Whoops Apocalypse: Lucifer and the Lord (1982)
The shooting of Johnny Cyclops
The fourth episode of Andrew Marshall and David Renwick's nightmare comedy which may become a reality any day now.
The Shah of Iran ( Bruce Montague ) is still stuck aboard a cross-channel ferry, with his faithful servant 'Abdab' ( David Kelly ) at his side. The Shah has a phone number tattooed on his scalp; it is the number of CIA agent Grodd ( Lou Hirsch ) . Gro.dd is currently in the hands of the KGB. The Shah winds up talking to a parrot.
In the White House, President Cyclops decides to do something about his low opinion poll ratings. He feigns an assassination attempt. Now where have we heard that before?
Lacrobat ( John Cleese ) is aboard the same ferry as the Shah, and the stolen Quark Bomb ( formerly known as the Johnny Cyclops Bomb ) is disguised to look like a walrus preserved in ice. Lacrobat is dressed as a smelly zoo keeper ( looking not unlike Jon Pertwee's Worzel Gummidge ).
Another hilarious episode. Spot Tim Wylton ( of 'The Dustbinmen' and 'A Bit Of a Do' ) as a ferry official. Matt Zimmerman, who plays the sparkly-toothed host of the inane game show 'Celebrity Knees' ( which Cyclops appears on ) was the voice of 'Alan Tracy' in 'Thunderbirds'.
Funniest moment - getting into a row with a motorist ( an uncredited Nicky Henson ), Lacrobat kills him and places his naked body in the block of ice, a playing card sticking out of his rectum!
Mind Your Language: Don't Forget the Driver (1978)
The day out
Had there been a 'Mind Your Language' movie, its very likely we'd have seen Mr. Brown's students going on holiday. There was no movie, so the next best thing to it was this episode, in which 'Mrs. Hunter' ( Ann Way ) organises an educational coach trip to the stately home of the Earl of Barclay ( Noel Coleman ). The male students turn up carrying Watney's Party Sevens ( large cans of beer ). Ranjeet has one, even though alcohol is against his religion. The problems start when only one coach turns up. Sid finds an old clapped-out coach ( which looks like something out of 'Dad's Army' ) and it develops a flat tyre. When the tyre is changed, and the trip looks sets to begin, the bus runs out of petrol. Nice to see the students away from the classroom for a change.
Ann Way specialised in prim, fussy little women ( she was in the 'Goodies' episode 'Cecily' and the 'Gourmet Night' episode of 'Fawlty Towers' ). Noel Coleman was 'The Commander' in David Jason's 'The Top Secret Life Of Edgar Briggs'.
Funniest moment - the students finally get to the manor, only to find it closed!
The Legacy of Reginald Perrin: Episode #1.7 (1996)
The big day
All over the UK, coach-loads of old age pensioners are hijacked by the members of BROSCOR and diverted to London. Jimmy gets to invade the BBC Centre ( more on that later ). It looks like BROSCOR has won the day. But, unfortunately, Radstock has awoken up, tipped off the police and they are waiting to meet the coaches. The protest is quietly abandoned...
While it lacks the bite of the 'Citizen Smith' episode in which the Tooting Popular Front used a tank to try and take-over the country, it still manages to be a strong and amusing finale to the series. Al the loose ends are neatly tied up. Jimmy proposes to Geraldine and, when she rejects him, ends the relationship. Tom and Linda are re-united and Joan happily married to Hank ( wicked! ). The door was left open for another sequel which never materialised. The snobby critics who raved about 'Absolutely Fabulous' and 'The Office' ( both overrated in my view ) had nothing positive to say about 'Legacy'.
Martin Clunes made his own version of 'Reggie' years later, but it was an unmitigated disaster. Not only was Clunes not as funny as Rossiter, he managed to be nowhere near as funny even as Richard Mulligan ( star of the short-lived American version ).
Funniest moment - Jimmy replacing Angela Rippon at her news-desk and offending millions of viewers by swearing live on air!
No-one got Reggie's millions It is also true that no-one got Reggie's millions of viewers. I didn't get where I am today without knowing that.
The Legacy of Reginald Perrin: Episode #1.6 (1996)
Caught in the act
Another 'Joan' free episode. She is said to have fallen out of bed whilst on her honeymoon.
David is in the dog-house for having spilled the BROSCOR beans to Reggie's grandson, Adam, who works for the BBC. Fortunately, he is sympathetic to the cause and soon more recruits are signed up. David is suddenly the hero of the hour. Jimmy and Geraldine become lovers, leading to the episode's funniest scene ( I'll come to that later ).
The big day approaches. Then, tragedy strikes. Morton Radstock, the reporter in who C. J. confided the previous week, awakens from a coma. BROSCOR looks doomed.
Considering that this series set out to take the mickey out of ageism, it is ironic that it itself became a target of ageist critics, many of whom resented the existence of a sitcom featuring a mostly elderly/middle-aged cast. We badly need a BROSCOR in real life.
Funniest moment - Jimmy is in bed with Geraldine, when C. J. and the others arrive. The former head of 'Sunshine Desserts' is, understandably, furious.
Whoops Apocalypse (1982)
The Road To World War 3
Recent events in the United States have inspired me to re-watch this six part comedy series from 1982, made by London Weekend Television, and written by Andrew Marshall and David Renwick. It stars Barry Morse as the Reagan-inspired President 'Johnny Cyclops' with John 'C. J.' Barron as a Bible-thumping Presidential aide called 'The Deacon'.
The film 'Dr. Strangelove' was a major influence; the series depicts the chaotic events leading to World war 3. Alexei Sayle appears as a bewigged KGB interrogator, Peter Jones in a British Prime Minister who thinks he is Superman ( Thatcher did not get parodied - she was hugely unpopular at the time and it was felt she would not survive in office. Besides, you cannot parody a parody ) and Richard Griffiths is a stout Russian Premier who keeps dropping dead and being replaced by clones. John Cleese played 'Lacrobat', his first sitcom role since 'Fawlty Towers'.
The humour is hit and miss, but there are more than enough on-target jokes to make this worth your time. Four years later, a film version appeared, and it was even funnier than the original had been.
Be warned though. Some of the humour is very un-P. C. Not for the easily offended.
The Legacy of Reginald Perrin: Episode #1.5 (1996)
Tying the knot
C. J., bored with the BROSCOR project, spills the beans to the press. He first meets 'Morton Radstock' ( James Bannon ) but, before he can use the story, Radstock is run over and taken to hospital. C. J. Next approaches an elderly reporter - 'Welton Ormsby' ( David Ryall ), who turns out to be sympathetic to the cause and joins BROSCOR as its new press officer. Joan proposes to Hank ( 1996 was a leap year ) and he accepts. Ton and Linda also re-tie the knot, leading to a double wedding.
C. J. And Doc get nowhere with Geraldine; she is more interested in Jimmy. At the wedding, David gets drunk and talks to a BBC reporter, who also happens to be Reggie's grown-up grandson Adam.
Ryall played Phoebe's dad in 'Goodnight Sweetheart' and was Shelley's landlord in the final episodes of the ITV series.
Funniest moment - Tom and David, both disguised ( unconvincingly ) as Scotsmen, keeping a close watch on C. J. Inspector Clouseau would have been proud of them.
The Legacy of Reginald Perrin: Episode #1.4 (1996)
"I love nostalgia, especially for the past!"
Elisabeth ghost-writes Jimmy's BROSCOR manifesto. Unfortunately, the deception is soon revealed when he reads aloud a passage not intended to be read aloud. Reggie's friends and families split into two groups. To their dismay, the Harris-Jones' find themselves separated and miss each other. Doc, C. J., and Tom continue their pursuit of Geraldine; when C. J. asks her to go to bed with him, she calls him a 'monster' and walks out of a restaurant. Tom has some good luck though; despite not getting anywhere with Geraldine he gets ex-wife Linda into his arms once more ( lucky fellow ). His use of daft nicknames for her, such as 'Lindiplops' resumes, much to her annoyance.
Another Joan free episode. Hank tells the others she is unwell.
Funniest moment - C. J. inviting Jimmy, Linda and David to his house and inviting them to be seated. These chairs are the same ones he had at 'Sunshine Desserts' and the usual rude noises ensue as a result.
The Legacy of Reginald Perrin: Episode #1.3 (1996)
The chase is on!
Joan returns from her holiday; with her is a new boyfriend - 'Hank' ( Michael Fenton-Stevens ). To the annoyance of the others, she has told him all about Reggie's will and the conditions they must fulfill in order to qualify for a share. After a vote, they decide to let him join them.
Doc, C. J. and Tom all wine and dine Geraldine, but get nowhere with her. Only Doc is brazen enough to ask her to go to bed with him; she politely refuses.
The newly formed BROSCOR ( Bloodless Revolution for Senior Citizens and the Occupationally Rejected ) takes to the care homes and clinics in order to find new members. Most of the people they find don't understand what it is about.
Not much happens in this episode, but it is nice to see a replacement character for Tony in the shape of Hank. Instead of "Great!" he says "Wicked!".
Funniest moment - Prue boarding a coach load of elderly people and being driven off with them. We see the tour company is called 'Gaga Tours'!
The Legacy of Reginald Perrin: Episode #1.2 (1996)
The absurdities begin
The second episode of 'The Legacy Of Reginald Perrin' begins with David and Prue Harris-Jones ( Bruce Bould and Theresa Watson ) attempting to qualify for a share of Reggie's millions by doing something utterly absurd - he dresses up like Long John Silver and she like Nell Gwynne. Linda roller-skates through a busy supermarket, and winds up crashing into a stack of tins.
Doc, Tom and C. J. all have their eyes on the lovely lawyer 'Geraldine Hackstraw', played by Patricia Hodge ( who'd starred in a previous David Nobbs series 'Rich Tea And Sympathy' ). C. J. And Doc manage to date her, much to Tom's disgust.
Elisabeth thinks they should pool their attempts to look absurd, and the idea of an old people's revolution is born. Naturally, Jimmy is appointed leader. This series got a pasting from critics when it was first shown, but it manages to be hugely enjoyable even without the great Mr. Rossiter. The characters were strong and the cast brought them to life superbly.
'Joan' is not in this episode. She is said to be on holiday. In fact Sue Nicholls' commitments to 'Coronation Street' ) in which she played 'Audrey Roberts' ) kept her away. She would return, though.
Funniest moment - dressed as a woman, Jimmy goes into a pub and a customer ( Alan David of 'The Squirrels' ) tries to chat him up.
The Worker: The Machinery of Organisation (1965)
"Appendix out!"
When he co-created this ATV series ( with Lew Schwarz ), Charlie Drake did not realise he was paving the way for the much funnier 'Some Mothers Do Ave Em' starring Michael Crawford. Both feature one of life's losers, a man unable to hold down a job for more than a few hours, and who spends more time in bed than Rip Van Winkle. Unlike 'Frank Spencer', however, Chalie's character was unmarried. The first season featured Percy Herbert as 'Mr. Whitakker', the manager of the Labour Exchange and Charlie's arch-enemy. It is Henry McGee as 'Mr. Pugh' ( pronounced 'poo' ) who is probably better remembered. Herbert later played an authority character in Reg Varney's 'Down The Gate'.
This episode sees Charlie going off to do a job he thinks he should be able to do - putting plastic model aeroplanes into cereal packets. But first he must face a procession of desk-bound officials, including Aubrey Morris as a 'welfare officer', Dilys Laye as the humourless 'Miss Powell' and Joan Benham ( of 'Upstairs, Downstairs' and the 'Doctor' series ) as 'Miss Niddy.
Funniest moment - finding himself alone in a doctor's surgery, Charlie proceeds to examine himself. What had up until now been a boring episode suddenly becomes funny, especially when Charlie proceeds to remove his appendix ( don't try this at home, folks ).
The Avengers: The Forget-Me-Knot (1968)
One golden age ends, another begins
Written by Brian Clemens and directed by James Hill, 'The Forget-Me-Knot' is a rousing climax to the John Steed/Emma Peel era. Villains are using memory-killing darts to induce amnesia in agents.
Yes, it was sad to see Diana Rigg leaving, but there was some consolation in the fact that she had a worthy replacement in the shape of Linda Thorson's 'Tara King'. Clemens has gone on record as saying he thought the Thorson series was the best of the lot, and I wholeheartedly agree with him. The Peel episodes were becoming routine, with the same plots boringly commonplace. With Thorson, some new writers, such as Terry Nation and Jeremy Burnham, were brought in and they invigorated the series.
Before anyone blames Thorson for the show's cancellation, it should be pointed out that the spy boom was on the wane by 1968. 'The Man From UNCLE' had been cancelled earlier that year, and movie franchises such as James Coburn's 'Flint' series disappeared. Had Rigg stayed for another year, 'The Avengers' would still have gotten the chop. In 1973, Rigg did a sitcom clearly modelled on Mary Tyler Moore's show and it was a colossal flop. So no more Rigg equals big ratings arguments please.
This episode also marks the first appearance of Patrick Newell as 'Mother', and he would appear in many Thorson shows.
The final scene is touching. Steed not also lost Mrs. Peel but got her at the same time!
Backs to the Land: Nymphs and Shepherds Come Expensive (1977)
Off to the village dance
The land army girls are struggling to shear sheep. Two young farm-hands - 'Wally' ( Charles Lamb ) and 'Jim' ( Richard Beale ) graciously offer to help out. In return they want to dance with the girls at the forthcoming village ball. Father Whitrow ( John Stratton ) is observing the girls with the aid of binoculars. He says it is to make sure they are not skiving. He admits he is playing them starvation wages.
The ball gets underway. Daphne ( Marilyn Galsworthy ) turns up wearing a ball-gown that makes her look like a million dollars. Some of the local girls, in particular 'Charlotte Rumbelow' ( Carinthia West ) takes exception to her presence.
Two of the cast in this episode have sci-fi connections; Spencer Banks played 'Simon Randall' in the 1970 children's series 'Timeslip' while Peter Tuddenham - the landlord - voiced the computers 'Zen', 'Orac' and 'Slave' in the BBC's 'Blake's Seven'. Carinthia West was a regular in Eric Idle's 'Rutland Weekend Television' and appeared in a 'Blake's Seven' episode called 'Bounty'.
An OK episode, let down by its ending. Jenny leads a spirited version of 'The Lambeth Walk' and that's it.
Funniest moment - the look of amazement on Whitrow's face when she sees the sheep have all been sheared.
Backs to the Land: A Miss Is as Good as a Male (1977)
Down on the farm
With 'Dad's Army' about to come off the air after almost a decade, ITV thought it a good time to come up with a wartime sitcom all of its own. Granada was first off the mark with 'Yanks Go Home' in 1976, about U. S. GI's in Northern England. It was a modest success. The following year, Anglia gave the world 'Backs To The Land', written by David Climie and directed by David Askey..
It is 1940. 'Eric Whitrow' ( Michael Troughton ) and his brother 'Roy' ( David Troughton ) are called up by the army, and three girls are sent by the Ministry to Crabtree Farm to work in their place. They are the posh 'Daphne finch-Beauchamp' ( Marilyn Galsworthy ), loud Cockney 'Jenny Dabb' ( Terese Stevens ) and shy Jewish girl 'Shirley Bloom' ( Philippa Bloom ). The farmer - 'Tom Whitrow' ( the late John Stratton ) is a grumpy old devil who thinks women should not be doing men's work ( if he were an American, he'd be a shoo-in to become President ). There is already a woman on the farm, in the shape of the naive 'Aggie', played by Stephanie Fayerman.
The room the girls are given to share is comfortless and cramped. Not surprisingly, they have a tough time adjusting to their new environment.
None of this is particularly hilarious, but manages to be pleasant and watchable ( and that annoying canned laughter should have gone for a start ).
Funniest moment - the girls attempting to milk cows. Yes, one of them gets a face full of milk. A predictable gag but somehow it works.
Mind Your Language: Many Happy Returns (1978)
The missing money
While we are reeling with shock from the awful events in America this week, let's cheer ourselves up with an episode of 'Mind Your Language'. Ranjeet wants to fly to Pakistan to see his mother, and has been doing several jobs to earn the fare. He entrusts the envelope full of money to Brown, who promptly loses it. Sid, the caretaker, finds it and thinks his luck has changed for the better. Soon he is smoking cigars and putting hefty bets on horses. When Brown finds out about Sid's spending spree, he asks for the money to be returned...
This is a remake of an episode of Powell's 'Rule Britannia' series ( from 1975 ). In that, 'Paddy O'Brien' ( Joe Lynch ) is the one wanting to see his mother and winds up losing his money, forcing his friends to make up the difference.
Funniest moment - the students taking the streets to try and make up the shortfall in Ranjeet's fare. It is nice to see them out of the classroom for a change. Even Ali - no friend of Ranjeet's - is with them. Ranjeet gets to make that trip, but then his mother ( Zohra Segal ) shows up at the school!
Mind Your Language: Brief Re-Encounter (1978)
The love of Miss Courtney's life
The normally fearsome 'Miss Courtney' ( Zara Nutley ) meets up again with 'Albert Collins' ( Patrick O'Connell ) to whom she was once engaged. They hit if off again, and make plans to marry. Then Sid, the caretaker, discovers that Collins is a devious con-man out to fleece the school principal. He notifies Brown. But what can Brown do about it?
This is another well-used sitcom plot; in Powell's 'Love Thy Neighbour', it was Jacko ( Keith Marsh ) who fell for a con-woman, played by Sue Bond. Nice to see Zara Nutley getting a bigger share of the action than usual. O'Connell was a familar face in films and television; he was in the series 'Fraud Squad' which also starred Joanna Van Gyseghem of 'Duty Free' fame.
Funniest moment - Brown tells Collins to get lost. Collins does not respond, so the male students line up behind their teacher to provide support. They look not unlike The Magnificent Seven!