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Reviews
Hot Frosty (2024)
A cozy, fun, and slightly absurd holiday movie.
Lacey Chabert has become the queen of Rom Coms and Hot Frosty is another jewel in her crown. This movie is a fun and light Christmas treat - like a nice glass of eggnog and a gingerbread cookie with a side order of six-pack abs - and Dustin Milligan does an excellent job as a snowman who comes to life, full of innocence and wonder.
The premise is a bit fantastical but what makes it all work is how the film treats this miracle, with pretty much the whole town easily accepting that a snowman could come to life. It's quite sweet. The script is also light on holiday tropes - unlike some Christmas movies that treat them like check lists - and this outing has more heart than expected, of course, the most believable aspect of this movie is how fast someone could fall in love with Lacey Chabert.
In conclusion, Hot Frosty has a cozy, fun, and slightly absurd holiday magic. It's a warm-hearted, snowy romance for those willing to leave a bit of logic behind and embrace the season's cheer with open arms.
Columbo: Dead Weight (1971)
Needed more Columbo.
This third episode of Columbo's inaugural season presents an intriguing yet somewhat uneven narrative one that suffers from pacing problems, with certain scenes dragging and others feeling rushed. The middle section, in particular, loses momentum, which might test the patience of some viewers.
While Columbo episodes are typically formulaic, "Dead Weight" lacks the clever twists and turns that characterize the best entries in the series. The resolution, while satisfying, is somewhat predictable and lacks the shock value of other episodes and is not helped by much of the episode's running spent with Suzanne Pleshett "Eye Witness" and her relationship with Eddie Albert's killer.
While a solid entry in the Columbo series this one falls short of being a standout episode. It benefits from strong performances, particularly from Falk and Albert, and an interesting exploration of moral ambiguities. However, it is hampered by pacing issues and a somewhat predictable plot.
Dark Harvest (2023)
Fun if really predictable.
There is a good premise behind Dark Harvest, and the "Pumpkinhead" inspired monster looks pretty good, unfortunately, the "Big Reveal" is pretty transparent and the third act simply stumbles towards a rather predictable and unsatisfying ending. That said, this isn't a bad movie - the gore is great and the acting is fine - but instead of a feature film this probably would have worked better as an episode of Supernatural with Sam and Dean figuring out the mystery and ending the ritual.
If you like the Hunger Games and Children of the Corn then you will most likely enjoy Dark Harvest, I just wished they'd fleshed out the plot a little better.
Awareness (2023)
A very fun action flick with good sci-fi trappings.
This Spanish-American science-fiction action flick owes a lot to Stephen King's book Firestarter, with its shadowy government agency creating people with psychic powers, but it also has elements of Inception, Scanners, The Fury and The Matrix to flesh things out, so yeah, this isn't the most original movie out there but the script constantly keeps you guessing as it layers double-crosses on top of alternate realities and implanted memories so that it hardly matters what's actually going on, it's just a lot of fun.
Overall, Daniel Benmayor's Awareness is a frenetically fun espionage thriller with science fiction trappings and some really well-choreographed action sequences that make this film an easy one to recommend.
No One Will Save You (2023)
A film that puts the "Home" in Home Invasion.
What makes this alien invasion so compelling is the intelligence of the protagonist, actress Kaitlyn Dever gives a compelling performance as an ostracized woman who avoids so many horror tropes by acting with common sense when others would be on the fast track to an anal probe. In this almost wordless movie, writer/director Brian Duffield has created a sci-fi horror thriller that will keep on the edge of our seats from almost minute one as a variety of alien invaders - some with very scary powers - hunt an harass our poor heroine. You can't help but root for her as the odds are really stacked against, and she just won't give up.
Battle Beneath the Earth (1967)
Ludicrous and kind of boring.
Why couldn't this be about mole men attacking surface dwellers? Once it's revealed, quite early on, that it is Chinese soldiers tunneling under major U.S. cities to plant atomic bombs, I quickly lost interest as not only is this a goofy and delusional plot - we're talking deliriously paranoid stuff here - but it leaves out the fact that even though these Chinese soldiers are supposedly "rogue" the U.S. government would still have immediately declared war on China and we'd be looking at World War Three. I'd have preferred a more comic book science fiction enemy than this ridiculous premise.
Happy Ever After (1954)
Fun premise ruined by a weak script
David Niven was clearly having fun playing a right cad and a bounder in this outing but at 90 minutes in length "Tonight's the Night" is about 60 minutes too long. Niven plays a completely unlikable squire who riles the Irish townsfolk to the point where they all plot his murder, unfortunately, the residents are about as incompetent as they are funny. With such a talented cast on hand it's a shame this movie boasted nary a good performance -Niven may have been having fun with the part but he's not all that funny in it - and the rest of the cast are such an unlikable lot that we have no idea who to root for.
We Can Be Heroes (2020)
Even for a kids movie this thing was painful.
Robert Rodriguez attempts to start a new franchise with kid superheroes instead of Spy Kids and if that doesn't sound bad enough it also ties into Shark Girl and Lava Boy, which was arguably Rodriguez's worst movie...that is until this one. The dialogue and attempted comedy in this movie is so cringe-inducing that it makes Disney's Descendants look like Citizen Kane by comparison, and I hate to slam child actors but most of the ones cast in this movie are really really bad. The only positive thing I can say about this film is that now there is a worse superhero movie starring Pedro Pascal than Wonder Woman 1984.
I'm sure a lot of people will defend this atrocity with the standard "It's a kids movie? but that's no excuse for lazy writing and poor character development, actually, this film had no character development and the script felt as if it was written by kids. This was a painful movie to watch and should be avoided at all costs.
Happiest Season (2020)
Fun if a little underwhelming Christmas movie.
A Christmas movie centering around a dysfunctional family is certainly nothing new, it practically dominates the genre, but this one has the added gay rom-com wrinkle to bring a little extra cheer and that is not a bad thing, but as much as wanted to embrace this movie the relationship between Mackenzie Davis's Harper and Kristen Stewart's Abby never quite worked for me and throughout most of the film's running time I wanted Abby to run off with Aubrey Plaza. That all said, it still has some solid charming moments and the cast overall were great, it's just sad that the film couldn't have been a little more honest with itself.
Assassination Nation (2018)
Dark and Powerful
This is one seriously intense look at hypocrisy, social media, teen culture and the re-shaping of the very landscape of society. Sure, this film is full of sex, drugs and violence but that's just the cinematic sugar coating of a truly horrific tale of suburbia and the issues many people face every day. After watching this film and the series Euphoria all I can say is "Thank god I'm no longer in high school."
Godmothered (2020)
It could have been worse, it coud have been better.
"Why is a fairy godmother sleeping on a stack of mattresses like the Princess & the Pea?" It's questions like this that will routinely pop up while viewing this Disney movie and this is due to the fact that when it comes to fantasy world-building Godmothered is more about easy and quick referential humor than it is about making a lick of sense. When watching this movie we are not expected ask such questions as "Why are the fairy godmothers unaware of the advances of technology?" or "How exactly does one apply to be a fairy godmother?" unfortunately, that kind of questioning bombarded me throughout this movie's interminable two-hour running time. Isla Fisher was fine as the jaded woman who never got her "Happily Ever After" but the writers never really gave her anything more the a bunch of tired "working woman" cliches.
A New York Christmas Wedding (2020)
And Interesting idea that sadly failed in execution.
I totally appreciate the idea of an LGBT answer to "It's a Wonderful Life" but the script never quite seemed to nail what message it was trying to make - other than "Be true to yourself" - which is all well and good but the choices the main character is given and then makes are not handled well by the storyline, add to that the dodgy writing and obviously low budget made-for-television production values and you got a film that had some potential but then failed to deliver at the finish line.
Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (2020)
Willy Wonka wants his factory back.
In this Netflix original, we have a Willy Wonka type toymaker who creates a sentient doll - Blue Fairies need not apply - that turns out to be evil and teams up with a disgruntled employee to ruin the inventors life. Now, this is a fantasy style "storybook" adventure so logic should not be applied - in this movie toys are powered by belief and scientific applications include such formulas as "The circumference of sensational" - but even so the film's over treacly nature can be a little trying at times.
It should also be noted that this is a musical but for some strange reason they cast Forest Whitaker and Keegan-Michael Key in leading roles and neither of them can really sing, and this is not helped by surrounding them with a cast of very talented singers who just makes their inability even more apparent.
Julie and the Phantoms (2020)
Madison Reyes is incredible!
This is one of the high concept shows that could easily fail but not only is the lead actress insanely talented - breaking your heart just watching her sing - but it's also a very funny show.
Dream Wife (1953)
Emancipation meets misogyny in this supposed comedy.
Even Cary Grant's seemingly bottomless pit of charm can't save his portrayal of a man who breaks off his engagement to Deborah Kerr because her career at the State Department comes first "I want a full-time wife and she wants a part-time husband" and then he rebounds from Kerr by proposing to a Middle Eastern princess who has been trained since birth in the ways of pleasing men. It's not surprising that even Cary Grant had a hard time making this character likable.
Sadly, Deborah Kerr doesn't make out much better as a callous career woman who blatantly ignores her fiance and then is shocked when he gets pissed off. Things get even worse when while teaching the princess about emancipation she herself learns the joy of submission. For the life of me, I have no idea what audience this was written for.
Guns Akimbo (2019)
What a waste of a talented cast.
Daniel Radcliffe plays a nerdy code monkey who trolls the message board of an underground fight club, earning the wrath of the evil leader, which results in him being kidnapped and having guns bolted to each hand and forced to compete. If this seems like a ridiculous premise to you it's actually dumber than it sounds.
Writer/director Jason Lei Howden orchestrates one of the dumbest action pictures I've seen in some time, as we get some of the most moronic set-pieces in film history. The hero is up against this unstoppable female psychopath, who we see wipe out hordes of armed baddies, but for some reason she can't kill a nerd in a bathrobe. And of course, by the end of the film, we'll see the hero suddenly being a badass killer, taking out multiple targets in seconds, despite him being a terrible shot during the film's preceding ninety-minutes.
I'm fine with over-the-top action films but this one just seemed tediously stupid.
Urutoraman: Kûsô tokusatsu shirîzu: Nazo no kyôryû kichi (1966)
Godzilla versus Ultraman
The episode features a mad scientist with an obsession for dinosaurs - apparently an expedition he took to Loch Ness had an interesting result - but more interesting is the fact that Professor Monster, as the mad scientist is known, has spent the previous 15 years raising a dinosaur.
Thew monster called Jirass is a mutated lizard kaiju that fans will recognize as a modified 1964 Godzilla suit, only with a large neck fringe added. Jirass also has Godzilla's iconic power Atomic Breath as well as his trademark roar.
This is an incredibly fun episode with the fight between Godzilla/Jirass and Ultraman being a particular highlight for the series.
Jojo Rabbit (2019)
"I'm going to go home now. I need a cuddle."
With Jojo Rabbit Taika Waititi gives us a heart-rending comedy about a ten-year German during the last days of WWII. The film is delightfully goofy - Taika kills it as JoJo's imaginary friend Adolph Hitler - but then hits you hard with the true horrors of the Nazi regime. Jojo Rabbit is a wonderful satire supported by a brilliant cast.