Please Just Leave Women at the Gym Alone

Freshman year of college, my roommate and I had an ingenious business idea: a women-only nightclub. We were fed up with the unspoken rules of the nightclub scene: having to entertain slimy promoters; donning six-inch heels and tight, short clothing in spite of outside temperature; swatting off on unwanted advances from strange men; making sure to keep our drinks close and covered the entire night. A no-boys-allowed space would remove all of these issues and foster an environment where we could freely do what we came for: drink overpriced vodka sodas and shake our asses all night.

We were not alone in this thinking. Perhaps the most well-known gender-exclusive business venture was The Wing, a women-only coworking space that shuttered its doors in 2022. Despite this failure, one third place that seems to have found success in adopting a women’s only policy is the gym.

From San Antonio to Pittsburgh, across the country, a crop of female-only workout spaces have opened just within the last year. Young people, in particular, have voiced a want for segregated gyms, according to a Newsweek article published in August 2024, with one gym chain telling the publication they saw high demand for their first women’s only gym with women aged between 22 and 32.

It doesn’t take much to learn the reasons why women yearn for a safe space when working out. When I asked a few female friends who frequent the gym what their least favorite part about it is, the answer was the same across the board: the leering and advancements from men. According to a 2021 survey from Run Repeat, 56% of women reported facing harassment during their workouts, including unwanted attention, comments and physical touching.

@success.withjess
musty men in the gym 😭😭😭 #gymtok #trapbardeadlifts #personaltrainer #glutesworkout
♬ stir fry migos – renny

Often, I hear stories of gym harassment from users on TikTok. In 2023, USA Today reported on the TikTok GymCreep trend, where women began using the hashtag #gymcreep to document uncomfortable male behavior at the gym. Female gym-goers have shared stories of having their pictures taken while working out, and have even caught on-camera incidents of unwelcome conversations, inappropriate grabbing and being followed by men at their gym. One TikTok user explained how her family spent $5,000 dollars to put a weight rack in their basement because men wouldn’t stop harassing her.

@raeganleee
#stitch with @ryse_ceo
♬ original sound – raegan

Regardless of how you identify, going to the gym can be a nerve-wracking, deeply self-conscious experience. Feeling the eyes of anyone on your sweaty body — one you may not feel fully confident with and are actively trying to improve — is excruciating. Now on top of those fears, imagine having to deal with the unfettered stares of creepy, horny, creatine-guzzling men while mentally preparing yourself to engage in the inevitable polite conversation so they don’t murder you in the parking lot.

@emilynnmeyers
As a woman ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings.. people are awful. #storytime #storytimemakeup #storytimestiktok #girlythings #girlytok #girlytips #bigsisteradvice #girladvice #girltips #forthegirlies #forthegirls
♬ original sound – Emily Meyers

One of the main issues with harassment towards women, in general, but that also extends to harassment at the gym: in response to many women’s experiences, men are often dubious, claiming that they’ve never seen this type of behavior at their gym, so it must not exist. We know that there are men who don’t harass women, but there are still a lot of men who do, and informing us about the former doesn’t reassure us or change anything about the latter.

So what can you do as a man who frequents the gym (or plans to in the future) to avoid being the reason women cancel their gym memberships? Keep the following in mind.

Keep your eyes to yourself

This doesn’t mean you need to walk around staring at the gym floor or are forbidden to make eye contact with a woman. But hopefully I don’t have to explain to you the difference between leering and accidental eye contact or normal glancing around.

Don’t approach

Maybe you know a couple who met at the gym or you have some weird meet-cute gym fantasy, but like many gym-goers, women just want to work out in peace without having to entertain conversations with men they don’t know. Especially if they are giving off “uninterested vibes” — I promise you there is no double-meaning there. As one TikTok user succinctly explained when asked how to approach a woman giving off “not interested vibe no eye contact” at the gym, “When someone looks uninterested and there is no eye contact, that is not an invitation for you to approach them. It’s an invitation for you to leave them alone.” Of course, you can ask women if they are finished using certain machines or other normal, gym-related questions as you would a male gym-goer. Just be respectful.

For the love of all that is holy do not touch anyone

Unless someone is literally suffocating under a barbell and asking for help, don’t touch anyone. Don’t remove bars, don’t become involuntary spotters, don’t brush past her and just happen to put your hands on her waist. Keep your sweaty hands to yourself — all the time, but especially this flu season.

…or film them either

I am of the firm belief that you should never film anyone and post it online ever without their permission. Dare I say this even extends to filming yourself working out at the gym or in a workout class. Sorry if this means bad news for your fitness influencer aspirations, but even uploading a video with an unsuspecting gym goer working out in the background is classless behavior IMO.

Obviously, there is a difference between accidentally catching someone in the background of one of your progress videos and deliberately taking a creepshot (and hopefully, I don’t have to explain why you shouldn’t do that). Still, it’s beneficial to everyone and to your own fitness goals if you just put the phone away for an hour or two while you workout.

Don’t let other guys get away with shitty behavior

I’m not encouraging you to accost the roided-out sexual harasser at the gym while there are a bunch of heavy objects around. But one of the reasons why harassment persists is because many men look the other way, especially when it comes to their friends. If you see harmful behavior at the gym, inform the staff. If the victim or someone else complains about the behavior, another witness might also help the case for getting that asshole removed.