This isn't a poem,its just something from deep within.



So its been three mnths.
I felt like i needed a break,actually i did.. From everything.. Yes i did again
It hurt that i left ,it still does hurt ... But i had to.. Maybe i was stupid to,maybe it was the best thing to do at that time. I really don't know. But wat i do know is that u were good to me and i let u go.
It feels like a long time ago,it feels like yesterday.. Fvvk mahn wat am i saying, nd a lil voice in my head echos (the truth)
Wen the blank for password is drawn ,inputting it becomes a problem cos u are my password (s) ,so tell me,do i change all my accounts or what.!

I dont even have the courage to look at u anymore, "moved on,gud! " i say.. U deserve better.
I remember the song and wish i ddnt. Buh actually better do u deserve,because i know u and i love you.
Maybe I'm over that ,but who knows.. Certainly not me,because my heart mind and body equals hurricane katrina and all its known for.

Some crazy habits i now do,no more the person i used to be, but fine.. Who cares!!.

Sometimes i wish we still talk,but wat wud we talk about and why the h'ell would it be called wat it is if we still talk..

In reality nobody actually cares,so off i go ,back to my bad habits..

Deep

tohpahz:
This isn't a poem,its just something from deep within.



So its been three mnths.
I felt like i needed a break,actually i did.. From everything.. Yes i did again
It hurt that i left ,it still does hurt ... But i had to.. Maybe i was stupid to,maybe it was the best thing to do at that time. I really don't know. But wat i do know is that u were good to me and i let u go.
It feels like a long time ago,it feels like yesterday.. Fvvk mahn wat am i saying, nd a lil voice in my head echos (the truth)
Wen the blank for password is drawn ,inputting it becomes a problem cos u are my password (s) ,so tell me,do i change all my accounts or what.!

I dont even have the courage to look at u anymore, "moved on,gud! " i say.. U deserve better.
I remember the song and wish i ddnt. Buh actually better do u deserve,because i know u and i love you.
Maybe I'm over that ,but who knows.. Certainly not me,because my heart mind and body equals hurricane katrina and all its known for.

Some crazy habits i now do,no more the person i used to be, but fine.. Who cares!!.

Sometimes i wish we still talk,but wat wud we talk about and why the h'ell would it be called wat it is if we still talk..

In reality nobody actually cares,so off i go ,back to my bad habits..

Nothing compared to yours but then...

The door was left open as she did walk away...
In ruins did i live all in the guise of letting go
Seconds to minutes, hours from the former and days took over what have we now? Months gone by...
I tiptoed to the door, closing it was my sole option...
...but how do I breathe, hence my only source of ventilation?
So i crept back to my former location, sitting down; legs crossed as tho I had become a kungfu master...
...cos the aim was to revenge; get even wit all that did hurt
Buh glory be to God for the reminder that i could get even more hurt in the intended quest to get even
The multiple shattered hearts have to an extent mended
I await to stand up for and to whoever walks in

forandy:


Nothing compared to yours but then...

The door was left open as she did walk away...
In ruins did i live all in the guise of letting go
Seconds to minutes, hours from the former and days took over what have we now? Months gone by...
I tiptoed to the door, closing it was my sole option...
...but how do I breathe, hence my only source of ventilation?
So i crept back to my former location, sitting down; legs crossed as tho I had become a kungfu master...
...cos the aim was to revenge; get even wit all that did hurt
Buh glory be to God for the reminder that i could get even more hurt in the intended quest to get even
The multiple shattered hearts have to an extent mended
I await to stand up for and to whoever walks in

Or better than mine.

straight from the heart!
deep pieces both of y'all

forandy:


Nothing compared to yours but then...

The door was left open as she did walk away...
In ruins did i live all in the guise of letting go
Seconds to minutes, hours from the former and days took over what have we now? Months gone by...
I tiptoed to the door, closing it was my sole option...
...but how do I breathe, hence my only source of ventilation?
So i crept back to my former location, sitting down; legs crossed as tho I had become a kungfu master...
...cos the aim was to revenge; get even wit all that did hurt
Buh glory be to God for the reminder that i could get even more hurt in the intended quest to get even
The multiple shattered hearts have to an extent mended
I await to stand up for and to whoever walks in

Or better than mine,

Thank God it did mend to an extent yeah,living with the thought that i dd hurt him would be fresh in my memree like it was yesterday.

What if i had just done things d oda way instead
Or let some things go.
Or shared a lil more
Or made more calls
Or held on a Lil longer
And a million more 'ors'
Would'it' hv made it' stronger ?

The answers to those,i cant find.
Now all i have to do
Is live in the reality that consciously did i do wat i did.
And inasmuch as i miss u, add "fvvcking to that
And i wana go back in time and undo some mistakes we made(talk abt learning from experience) ,if only i could ..

Then the ugly side of u rears its head and throws me a stare in my face,a stare i detest ,a stare that makes my heart ache even to the physical aspect of that sentence.
And i remember my hurt,my own very ache .
So do i care more abt my ache or finding happiness in another while i still ache silently .

JigsawKillah:
straight from the heart!
deep pieces both of y'all

thanks

tohpahz:



Or better than mine,

Thank God it did mend to an extent yeah,living with the thought that i dd hurt him would be fresh in my memree like it was yesterday.

What if i had just done things d oda way instead
Or let some things go.
Or shared a lil more
Or made more calls
Or held on a Lil longer
And a million more 'ors'
Would'it' hv made it' stronger ?

The answers to those,i cant find.
Now all i have to do
Is live in the reality that consciously did i do wat i did.
And inasmuch as i miss u, add "fvvcking to that
And i wana go back in time and undo some mistakes we made(talk abt learning from experience) ,if only i could ..

Then the ugly side of u rears its head and throws me a stare in my face,a stare i detest ,a stare that makes my heart ache even to the physical aspect of that sentence.
And i remember my hurt,my own very ache .
So do i care more abt my ache or finding happiness in another while i still ache silently .

"Choice"
...even as it was pretty much to my bewilderment that she decided being seemingly overt with intentions, that word (choice) was all my head could muster....coz that's all there is, and all there's ever been.
Do I make it for her!? Oh! How I wish
Should she for herself? Overly desiring!
Raining blames on ourselves is far off the thing to do now, it's like mixing iron and clay, we wouldn't get the desired outcome; we'd still be weak and divided, soon to pass away again

What to do now? A move, yeah with respect to the choice
Coz as I had aforestated, the door is left open, yes, to who's fiiting.
So she could decide where her direction points, if she wants to fix those she feels she could have...
It's all up to her
As for me... I'm still in the waiting for a reception.

JigsawKillah:
straight from the heart!
deep pieces both of y'all

Yeah man. Thanks again