By Bracket Boy | NJ Advance Media
March Madness is here, and some of you will fill out your NCAA Tournament bracket based on hours and hours of watching games, poring over statistical breakdowns and charting every matchup. And some of you will take another tried and true approach.
Mascots!
(Duh.)
And so, in what is an NJ.com tradition, here is our comprehensive and completely unscientific and utterly ridiculous ranking of all the 68 mascots in the 2019 NCAA Tournament field. Enjoy!
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Pat Lovell | USA Today
68. Purdue Pete (Purdue)
Kids, whatever you do, DO NOT look directly into Pete's eyes or ... YES MASTER. I WILL OBEY. WE SHALL USE YOUR HAMMER TO CONTROL THE OTHERS.
67. The Eagle (North Carolina Central)
It's, uh, just an eagle. Nothing to see here. But an eagle.
66. Cav Man (Virginia)
This mascot would be soooooo much better if you slipped an "e" in there and made it Caveman.
AP
65. The Billiken (St. Louis)
NIGHTMARE. FUEL.
64. The Bearcat (Cincinnati)
Is it a bear? Is it a cat? No, it's ... just another boring feline mascot.
63. Aubie the Tiger (Auburn)
Hold that Tiger ... for football season.
62. Mike the Tiger (LSU)
Hold that tiger ... for the inevitable NCAA investigation.
Oklahoma University
61. Boomer and Sooner (Oklahoma)
Sort of cute in a forgettable kind of way -- right now, your daughter has two stuffed animals that look just like these in the back of her closet and you don't even know it.
Northern Kentucky
60. Victor E. Viking (Northern Kentucky)
Look at the eyes on THIS guy. "Uh oh, mom. Uncle Vic got a bad batch of moonshine again and he's raiding the neighbor's yard shed!" Time for a grooming, Victor.
59. Testudo (Maryland)
Ranks well below Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo on the list of turtles we'd want on our team in a street fight.
58. The Wildcat (Kentucky)
Boooooooooring, but successful.
57. Pounce (Georgia State)
A blue panther. Do not pet it.
Journal-Star
56. KABOOM! (Bradley)
Let's just hope those wings are for show because if that thing really flies, we're making a beeline to the emergency exit.
Chris Chambers | Getty Images
55. Herky the Hawk (Iowa)
Herky looks a bit ... jerky.
54. Cy the Cardinal (Iowa State)
Sort of interesting that both major Iowa universities have a discomforting bird with a weirdly shaped head as their mascot, isn't it?
53. Willie the Wildcat (Kansas State)
Is it a mascot rule that, if you're going with a "______ the ______" that it has to be alliterative or rhyme?
52. Landshark Tony (Ole Miss)
No, really. The mascot for Ole Miss is a landshark. I get that the old mascot, Colonel Reb, was inappropriate for our modern society, but this seems like a bit obtuse.
Iona
51. Killian (Iona)
Inside the marketing meeting at Iona ...
Marketing Guy No. 1: What should we have as a mascot?
Marketing Guy No. 2: I know! Let's have a strange looking man with an Abraham Lincoln beard and a pimp-style red felt hat!
Marketing Guy No. 3: Brilliant! And let's name it after a beer!
Abilene Christian
50. Willie the Wildcat (Abilene Christian)
It's sort of disappointing when a first-time NCAA Tournament participant from a small school has a run-in-the-mill nickname. But we like Willie. It looks like somebody from the pep band stole a leopard-skinned coat from a thrift shop.
49. Panther (Prairie View A&M)
C'mon. You have to at least NAME the Panther!
48. Wild D. Cat (Villanova)
I think all of Villanova's success is going to Wild D. Cat's head. Unless it's Fancy Feast, there's no chance he's eating.
47. Albert and Alberta Gator (Florida)
Rumor has it, their marriage is on the rocks. Albert's been seeing a crocodile on the side.
Colgate University
46. Raider (Colgate)
While we understand embracing the team's colors, those red eyes make Raider look like he's finishing off a pub crawl that started after his 10 am class let out ... wait, we're hearing that's exactly what Raider did on Friday.
AP
45. Pistol Pete (New Mexico State)
(Voice through a bullhorn): PUT DOWN THE GUNS AND TAKE OFF THE FAKE MUSTACHE! YOU HAVE KIDS AT HOME! LET'S TALK THIS THROUGH.
44. Victor E. Bull (Buffalo)
A blue bull. Very original!
43. Big Blue (Utah State)
A blue bull. Where have I seen this before?
42. Big Blue (Old Dominion)
A lion with a crown. Think of a cross between Mufasa and Pete Puma, and you've got the idea.
Getty Images
41. Rally the Catamount (Vermont)
Do not -- we repeat, do not -- pet this cat.
40. Knightro (Fairleigh Dickinson)
Here is an excerpt from an "interview" on Knightro's official page on FDU's website:
FDU: What's it like to be the only horse on campus?
Knightro: FDU is an institution that is very open to diversity, so even as a blue horse, I fit in pretty well!
FDU: What's the hardest part of having hooves instead of opposable thumbs? Is it hard to Tweet?
Knightro: Never having had thumbs, I don't know what the hardest part is. But! Without 'em, I can still high five, hug and tweet! Check me out @TheRealKnightro for some laughs! There isn't anything Knightro can't do.
39. Paws (Northeastern)
Well, it is a Husky, so Paws is a suitable name. It just doesn't exactly inspire much fear. "Let's follow Paws into battle, men!"
38. Harry the Husky (Washington)
Then again, maybe Paws is better than Harry.
37. The Blue Devil (Duke)
Is the Duke Blue Devil starting to look more like head coach Mike Krzyzewski, or is Coach K starting to look more like the Blue Devil. Talk amongst yourselves.
36. Brutus the Buckeye (Ohio State)
Pleasingly round head. But what is it?
AP
35. Red Raider (Texas Tech)
He is the poster boy for increased background checks for gun purchases.
34. The Pirate (Seton Hall)
ARGHHH! No evidence of scurvy on this fine specimen.
33. HokieBird (Virginia Tech)
Virginia Tech had a "gobble gobble" sound effect on the scoreboard until 1978. Some improvements, folks, are not for the better.
32. Mack and Lulu (Gardner-Webb)
The his and hers bulldogs were recently married before a game. Awww.
AP
31. Thundar the Bison (North Dakota State)
He sort of reminds us of a brown version of Sam Sheepdog from the old Looney Tunes cartoons. You're going to have to Google it, kids.
30. Johnny Thunderbird (St. John's)
Wait. What the hell is it?
29. Spike the Bulldog (Gonzaga)
All the jowls with none of the drool.
28. Shasta (Houston)
A fine looking cougar.
27. Big Jay (Kansas)
If you're going to have a bird as your mascot, it might as well be a mystical bird like the Jayhawks.
U. of Nevada
26. Alphie, Luna and Wolfie Jr. (Nevada)
Well, if you're going to be nicknamed the Wolf Pack, you need a pack of wolves. Wolfie Jr. looks awfully big for his age, though.
AP
25. Cimarron (Florida State)
You've got to admire a horse that's willing to paint its face.
24. Sparky the Eagle (Liberty)
No lie: Liberty founder Jerry Falwell himself is inside the costume. (Okay, it's a lie.)
23. Bully (Mississippi State)
Just another bulldog. Yawn.
22. Hooter the Owl (Temple)
It's surprising that Hooter is still working after getting rich with his chain of low-brow restaurants.
Belmont University
21. Bruiser the Bruin (Belmont)
This is not a mid-major mascot, folks. Bruiser can match up with most Power 5 competition in the mascot tournament.
University of Tennessee
20. Smokey (Tennessee)
Usually, we frown on dressing our pooches -- they already have a coat, people! -- but this is one dapper dog. Someone, please, give him a rawhide and scratch behind his ear.
19. Cardinal Bird (Louisville)
The original Angry Bird.
18. Boola the Bulldog (Yale)
No truth to the rumor that, for a six-figure fee, Boola will add your teenage son or daughter to the mascot team even if he or she never wore a costume in high school.
17. Rodney the Ram (VCU)
A little bit horny, wouldn't you say?
16. Ramses (North Carolina)
The Tar Heels have a ram. We can't explain it, either. Good looking ram, though.
St. Mary's
15. Gael Force (St. Mary's)
He's got the best hair out of any mascot, but somebody needs to trim those eyebrows before the tournament.
14. Bruiser and Marigold (Baylor)
A couple of fine, if unremarkable, ursus arctos.
13. Golden Eagle (Marquette)
An eagle, only golden. Which is still an eagle.
12. No mascot (Michigan)
A good rule of thumb: No mascot is better than a bad mascot.
11. Knightro (UCF)
He looks like a character from a Mad Max movie. If the Final Four is played somewhere along Fury Road, Knightro is the mascot for the job.
AP
10. The Oregon Duck (Oregon)
A little too much Donald, not quite enough Daffy. Still: A classic.
9. Sparty (Michigan State)
Muscles on top of his muscles; probably doping.
AP
8. Monte (Montana)
This is one high-quality bear. If you built this in a Build-a-Bear Workshop, you'd be proud to cuddle up with him at night.
AP
7. Bucky Badger (Wisconsin)
Let's be clear on this: Bucky has rabies.
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6. Sparky the Sun Devil (Arizona State)
He doesn't look like a Sparky, to be honest. But he is one mean Devil.
Allie Douglass | Getty Images
5. Dunker (Murray State)
Finally, some mascot respect for the old reliable, dunking horse. Bojack would be so pleased.
4. Peter the Anteater (UC-Irvine)
Cuddly, and useful. This is a mascot we can all rally behind.
Wofford
3. Boss the Terrier (Wofford)
Pointy ears. Aggressive face. Pet at your own risk.
Rich Barnes | USA Today
2. Otto the Orange
Round figure, arms where his ears should be, no torso -- in other words, he is PERFECT!
University Minnesota
1. Goldy the Gopher (Minnesota)
Not only will he rally the crowd, but he'll build one hell of a damn on a river in his spare time. Goldy is one of the classics.
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