Kelly Clarkson Has a No Social Media Policy for Her Kids and I’m So on Board

Kelly Clarkson recently made headlines for saying she won't let her kids on social media until they are 18. This can be a tough parenting choice as research shows more than half of youth have social media accounts and the average age for signing up was younger than 13. But for me, Clarkson's decision is one I completely agree with and have been trying to implement in my own home.

A few months ago, my 13-year-old daughter desperately wanted to show me a PowerPoint presentation highlighting the many reasons she felt I should finally allow her to get Snapchat. The slides noted that I could approve anyone she added to her contacts, among many other well-thought-out points. 

I had to hand it to her—the presentation was a clever way to get my attention after the months she’d spent begging, pleading, and, quite honestly, badgering me to finally let her join Snap, as she calls it. But when the last slide informed me I am the only mom who won’t let their kid get Snapchat, I didn’t feel insulted—I was honored, quite frankly.

It’s my view that social media has no place in a child’s life; I am not convinced of any benefits apps, including TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat, provide young people (let alone adults, but that’s a different story). All I’ve come across is evidence of kids interfacing with potentially-harmful content about disordered eating, and self-harm, as well as being exposed to bullying, to mention only a few highly–concerning reasons giving me great pause about my kids having social media.

Clarkson seems to agree that social media has no place in her kids’ lives either. The famous mom, who shares daughter River, 9, and son Remington, 7, with her ex-husband, Brandon Blackstock, enforces a strict no social media policy in her home.

“That can be really hard on kids in general but especially kids with parents in the public eye,” the American Idol alum recently told People. “So I have informed them they’re not allowed to, under my roof, ever have [it].” Blackstock is on the same page with not allowing social media when the kids are with him. 

Clarkson isn't the only celebrity parent taking on a stance like this; Matthew McConaughey previously revealed he and his wife didn't allow their son to join social media until he was 15, even though he wanted to earlier.

As for the future of her kids joining social media, Clarkson admitted, “I’ll listen when they’re older, but until they have a solid argument, it’s a no.” It seems I’ve found myself at the listening stage. But my feelings will be hard to change about why I don’t think social media, in general, is a good influence in kids’ lives. Experts tend to agree that social media can be harmful.

What Experts Say About Kids Using Social Media

Research shows increased use of social media among kids greatly impacts their mental health negatively, says Titania Jordan, Chief Parent Officer at Bark Technologies and author of Parenting in a Tech World. "So much so," she adds, "that in 2023 the Surgeon General issued a warning calling for ‘urgent action by policymakers, tech companies, researchers, families, and young people’ to gain a better understanding of exactly how this is happening.”

She underscores the negative content kids can and do scroll through on social media. About possible adverse effects of having an online presence, Jordan says, “Kids can easily get hooked, spending way too much time scrolling and tapping instead of doing other important stuff like homework or sleeping. And let's not forget the pressure to fit in or look a certain way—social media can definitely mess with self-esteem.”

Aja Chavez, Executive Director of Adolescent Services at Mission Prep, a residential adolescent mental health treatment program agrees that social media has downsides. “Social media can many times diminish the true meaningful connections with people in your community," says Chavez. "This might lead to feeling alone and lonely, which can lead to depression.”

Meanwhile, parents are right to be worried about their kids being exposed to bullying online, which Chavez notes is sometimes done anonymously. “There are people whose entire intention on social media is to be hurtful and harmful,” she says. “This greatly impacts children and teens’ sense of worth, safety, and emotional well-being.” 

So, yeah, social media can be bad. But it’s important to note that apps like Instagram and TikTok may offer some benefits to kids, such as awareness about social and political issues. Plus, Chavez adds that social media can “provide a place of connection for those who struggle with social anxiety,” while Jordan says, “If you have a creative passion or skill, you can share it with a real audience.”

How To Talk to Your Kids About Social Media

For parents like Clarkson and me, for whom social media is a true non-starter for our kids, there’s a lot we can do in our efforts to keep the likes of Snapchat at bay. Jordan suggests being honest with your child about why you don’t want them online. “Have heart-to-heart talks with your kids about digital safety and what it actually means to be a responsible digital citizen,” she says. 

Chavez cautions parents not to default to lecture mode. “Remain curious each time your child advocates for having social media,” she advises, adding, “Validate how difficult it is to feel left out or like you are the only one who isn’t allowed something.” 

I’m taking notes over here, but also going back to my core belief that it’s OK, and in fact my responsibility as a parent, to stay firm on issues I feel strongly about. A way I show this is by abstaining from using social media myself.

For those parents and guardians who are ready to allow some access to the social media apps they have vetted and feel are safe for their child, Jordan offers these tips:

• Make sure kids know they can talk to you if anything weird or uncomfortable comes up.
• Teach them to only share with people they know and trust. 
• Keep an eye on privacy settings by using parental controls.
• Sign a tech contract that outlines your expectations for their use, including how much time your child can spend online.

The good news for parents who are struggling with how to handle the issue of social media in their kids’ lives is that senators have introduced bipartisan legislation to enact an actual ban in the U.S. The bill would prohibit kids under the age of 13 from using social media altogether, and require permission from a guardian for a child under the age 18 to set up an account. Another aim of the legislation is to restrict social media companies from using algorithms to push content on kids.