How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen

For some LGBTQ+ teens, Pride Month can feel like a safe harbor. When June comes to an end, corporations may no longer display rainbow flags, and Pride parades may leave their multicolored confetti behind—but your teen is still part of the LGBTQ+ community the other 11 months of the year. 

As an LGBTQ+ person and parent, I personally get whiplash moving from June back into "normal" times again. Many teens feel no different than me—and it’s up to us as parents to support them through it.

The good news is that Pride doesn’t have to end when the calendar is flipped from June to July. There are things parents can do today and every day to help their teens feel supported and loved.

Express Willingness to Learn From Your Teens

It’s easy to assume as parents that we know all there is to know about our children. But it’s important to always check in and be open to learning more about them. Caroline Fenkel, LCSW, Founder and Chief Clinical Officer at Charlie Health, says it’s essential to keep an open mind and to keep asking questions.

“Initiate conversations with your teens about their experiences, interests, and questions regarding LGBTQIA+ identities,” she says. "A supportive family can provide a safe space for teens to express themselves openly and seek guidance and assistance when they need it."

Your teens need to know that you are open to understanding and supporting them, no matter how their identities shift and change throughout their lives. This is especially important for children in middle and high school, which can be challenging environments for LGBTQ+ kids. 

Christina Scott, PhD, Professor of Psychological Sciences at Whittier College and Fulbright Scholar, says that teens can face discrimination in school that parents might not ever hear about.

“Ask open-ended questions and try to have patience when receiving a non-committal, one-word response in return,” says Dr. Scott. 

Getting your child to open up to you can take time, but if you show your teen that you’re there for them, they will be more likely to talk about any struggles they may be facing. And when they do open up, ask how you can help them—not just ‘if.’

Create a Safe and Affirming Environment

A 2023 Trevor Project survey reveals that an overwhelming 82% of LGBTQ+ teens simply want people to support and accept them–and 68% hope for the creation of safe spaces where they can just be themselves.

This is a sentiment echoed by Dr. Fenkel. She says in order for teens to feel comfortable expressing themselves authentically, which is important for their emotional well-being and development, open communication is key.

She says home should be a place where LGBTQ+ teens are able to be seen, heard, and understood.

“Family support is crucial for all teens, but especially for LGBTQIA+ teens, as it can help them build inner confidence and resilience,” Dr. Fenkel confirms.

LGBTQ+ teens can face bullying in school—often because their very right to exist is belittled and jeopardized in the political sphere. 

“Home needs to be a shelter from that storm and a reminder that teens are loved and valued for exactly who they are...” Dr. Scott adds. “Just as you helped them take their first steps, be ready to help steady them again, as they walk into adulthood."

Educate Yourself and Your Teen

The LGBTQ+ spectrum is more varied than both you and your teen might imagine–and is intersectional with many other identities. Because of that, it’s important to be open to learning, and to discuss what you learn with your teen, especially as their own understanding of their identity is changing.

The more you know about issues impacting your teen’s life, from LGBTQ+ book bans and the difficulties of gender-affirming health care, to the way they are treated by peers, the better you both can navigate sometimes difficult situations. 

“As parents, supporting our teenagers as they navigate the journey of self-discovery is paramount. It's a time when they are exploring who they are, what they believe, and how they fit into the world around them,” says Dr. Fenkel. 

This time in your child’s life is crucial. To this end, both Dr. Scott and Dr. Fenkel recommend Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) and The Trevor Project for continued learning.

Support LGBTQ+ Causes and Culture Beyond Pride Month

Acceptance and understanding are amazing first steps, but in order to fully support your LGBTQ+ teen, it is important to wholly embrace and celebrate their identity.

Dr. Scott recommends taking an active role in LGBTQ+-related conversations. Ask which LGBTQ+ musical artists they listen to, which LGBTQ+ books they're reading, what tv shows they're streaming, or who they look to as queer role models.

“Show up and show interest in what strengthens their identity and helps them develop pride in themselves,” adds Dr. Scott. 

Dr. Fenkel also says supporting LGBTQ+ causes and organizations can help your teen feel proud of their identity and help them build a larger support system that will serve them as they grow up. 

Pride Month ends, but identifying as LGBTQ+ does not. Community is deeply important for teens–making it all the more important to show up for them, even when corporations are done selling rainbow products.