The Breakup Cure

Want to get my advice on your situation?
Call my office at 312-476-9416 to setup a private session with me
Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]
The Breakup Cure

The Shortcut to Getting Over a Break Up
By Kevin Kurgansky All Rights Reserved Copyright 2013 True Fulfillment
www.HowToGetOveraRelationship.com
It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book. Any violation is subject to maximum punishment in the court of law. By purchasing this book, you agreed that the information contained in this book is an opinion and will be used for personal entertainment purposes only. The author may not be liable for any direct or indirect consequences that occur from the use of any of the ideas contained in this book. You are responsible for your own behavior and this work is not to be considered professional, medical or psychological advice. If youve been raped or abused or if you are having any kind of suicidal thoughts, please contact a local mental health care professional immediately. This course is not meant to be used as a substitute for traditional counseling or therapy.
Want to get my advice on your situation? Call my office at 312-476-9416 to setup a private session with me
About the Author

Kevin Kurgansky is the author of The Breakup Bible and the creator of The Breakup Cure and The Breakthrough Breakup Method. He is also a Certified Coach with The Life Coach Institute and has his own private practice as a break-up and relationship coach. Kevin graduated from DePaul University and completed his Couples Therapy Training with The Gottman Relationship Institute Seven years ago, Kevin went through a devastating break up that brought him to the lowest point of his entire life. The breakup propelled him on the path of self-discovery and he used it as a catalyst for his transformation. He emerged from the experience a changed man and went on to help thousands of people through the painful process of getting over a break up.
Introduction
Before you read any further, I just want you to take a moment to realize that you are not alone. I know that after a break up it often feels like no one can possibly understand what youre going through right now but I want you to know that Ive been in your shoes myself numerous times and so have millions of other people. Its important to acknowledge that what youre experiencing right now is actually very common. In fact, there are thousands (if not millions) of people all around the world that are going through the exact same thing right now. I know it might seem like things will never get any better and theres just too much to deal with but its absolutely essential that you remember this one thing
Nothing lasts forever not even your troubles.

I want you to think back to a time in your life when something unexpected happened and you felt like it was the end of the world. I want you to relive that experience for a moment and feel how it made you feel at the time. Now I want you to rate that feeling on a scale of 1 10 (1 being not bad at all and 10 being the worst you can imagine) Now I want you to think about how you feel about that situation right now and then rate it again from a scale of 1 10. I can guarantee that the way you felt about it the moment it happened and the way you feel about it now are radically different probably by at least 3-5 points. See, when something really unexpected happens we have a natural tendency to over exaggerate it and make it out to be much worse than it really is. In fact, you may have found it so funny that you were once stressing out so much and driving yourself crazy over it that you may have had a hard time experiencing some of the same emotions or even remembering how you felt!
In a time of pain and struggle, its always good to look back at another a time in your life where you felt like what you were going through was so unbearable and then compare it to how you feel about it now. You may be wondering how is it that something that once seemed like it was the end of the world is not even a problem anymore? What changed? Well, the thing that changed was your perspective Over time, you actually started to see the situation differently and once you began to see what happened in a different light, it changed the way you felt about it. Well, the way youre seeing your break up right now is causing you to suffer. In other words, your perspective is distorted because youre caught up in the storm. So what Im really here to do is help you expand your perspective and help you start to see your break up a little differently. Once you begin to see it, it will change how you feel about it and then youll be over it before you know it. Theres a brilliant quote by Albert Einstein that says: Lifes most significant problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking you were at when you created them. So my goal is that this information will help you reach a new level of thinking so that you can deal with the breakup and move on with your life. Im going to do this by sharing some of the lessons Ive learned on my own journey, as well as strategies and techniques that Ive used to help thousands of people get over their ex. I also hope to help you see things in a new light so you can gain some perspective on the situation so you can look back on this in the future and go wow, that wasnt nearly as bad as I made it out to be (just like you did in that last exercise) Hell, maybe youll even be able to crack a smile about it later. Lets not get ahead of ourselves though
How to Get the Most Out of this Course

I want to make it clear from the very beginning that this is not simply meant to be read, its meant to be used as a workbook to help you heal as fast as possible. In order to help you do this, Ive incorporated a good blend of theory and information, as well as specific techniques and action steps you can take immediately after reading it. So treat it like a workbook - read each and then spend some time doing the exercises and reflecting on how you can apply it to your own life. Simply reading it from start to finish WONT just magically heal you. Dont get me wrong, I share a lot of very powerful techniques in this book that will help you heal your broken heart and move on with your life. However, they wont do you any good if you just read about them and dont use them. I can give you the resource but you have to take responsibility for actually using it. However, I promise that if you actually use the resource and apply all the powerful techniques I share, you will feel an instant sense of relief the very first time you do it. Dont get me wrong, this is not a quick fix solution but it does work. So heres my promise to you If you really immerse yourself in all the information I share in this book and you reflect on how it applies to your situation, you will drastically speed up your recovery process and get over your ex at least twice as fast as you normally would. Youll also walk away with a greater sense of clarity about your relationship, but even more importantly, a better understanding of yourself. I hope the information in this course helps you as much as its helped me and thousands of other people from all around the world. Enjoy. Kevin
Section 1:
How to Deal with Rejection

Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here and I want to thank you for getting my program. In this section, I want to talk to you about the #1 most important thing that you need to do after a breakup: learning how to deal with rejection. The way you deal with rejection will determine: 1) how easy it is for you to cope with the breakup 2) how likely you are to get them back 3) whether youll have a chance of being friends with them in the future But even more importantly, its going to shape how they remember you for the rest of your life. So with all this in mind, its really important to learn how to deal with rejection the RIGHT way, rather than the way that comes naturally to most of us after a break up (which is often very counterproductive).
What Happens When We Get Rejected?

Rejection is a very powerful thing. When someone rejects us (especially when its the person we love) a whole bunch of stuff comes up for us. We feel hurt, rejected and downright devastated. It usually comes as a total shock to us and it feels like our whole world is falling apart. Rejection actually sets off a series of physiological responses in our body that most of us are not even aware of. Only people like me who geek out on this kind of stuff actually know whats going on behind the scenes. So, what happens inside of you when you get rejected by someone? When someone rejects you, it actually triggers a part of your brain called the amygdala.
This is the same part of our brain thats responsible for our fight/flight mechanism (you may have heard of that before). This part of us gets activated anytime we feel threatened. When this part of us gets activated, we go into a hyper-intense state of awareness in order to be better equipped to eliminate the threat.
Okay, so what does this part of our brain actually do after a break up? To put it simply, it automatically goes into a fight response in order to eliminate the threat. The threat, in this case, is the possibility of losing them forever. In fact, just the IDEA of losing them is enough to makes you panic. Thats why you start doing a bunch of crazy stuff like calling and texting your ex over and over again, begging and pleading, and promising to change. You do everything you can to get them back and you try to preserve the relationship at all costs. Why? Because youre desperately trying to avoid the potential loss and change. See, as humans, we dont really like change. Any kind of change, especially one as drastic as losing the person thats closest to us, means our entire world flipping upside down. A magnitude of change thats that drastic is never easy, no matter what your relationship was like. In fact, just the thought of losing them can be downright frightening. So this nifty little part of our brain actually developed an extraordinarily powerful survival mechanism to eliminate the chance of that ever happening. The survival mechanism Im referring to here is the need to RECONCILE This often shows up in the form of begging, crying, pleading and other desperate attempts to get our ex back. Why? Because getting our ex back = keeping things the same. And as long as things are the same, everything is safe, comfortable and familiar (even if its not necessarily the best thing for us in the long the run) However, the long run is not what your brain is concerned with in that moment. All its concerned with is trying to keep things from falling apart.
Sure, we can come up with a bunch of neat rationalizations and justifications for why we feel such a strong urge to save the relationship; because we love them so much and all that good stuff. And while thats certainly true, theres also something MUCH deeper going on behind the scenes. Thats why the urge you feel to try to get your ex back is so damn STRONG. See, its not just love thats propelling you to save your relationship; theres actually a biological response thats triggered in your mind and a physiological response signaled to your body. Thats whats causing the hyper-intense state of panic (and thats why it feels so intense). Youre literally in an altered state of being. You have an incredibly powerful set of chemicals coursing through your body right now, causing you to enter a hyper-active state of panic and worry. Why am I sharing this with you? Is it because I like overwhelming your mind with a bunch of complicated psychological jargon? No, not at all. The reason Im sharing this with you is because I want you to understand that the urge you feel to get your ex back is not just an urge you feel because you love them. Sure, thats obviously part of it. However, I want you to realize that theres a bunch of chemicals coursing throughout your body right now that are making you want to get them back at all costs. These chemicals are causing you to live in a state of panic and desperation. Okay, but why is this important for me to understand? Because you need to understand whats actually happening in order to know how to handle yourself. You need to be able to recognize when that part of you is activated in order to get back in control of yourself. Why?
Because once your amygdale is activated, youre thrown into over-drive and you go completely unconscious. At that point, youre basically just a puppet with puppet strings.. The puppet strings, in this case, are your emotions. They are pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once and thats why you feel like youre going crazy. I want you to take a moment to stop and realize that this is all very NORMAL. I know it feels like youre going crazy but youre actually not. The reason it feels so intense, like I said, is because this is a hard-wired response thats been programmed into our minds throughout thousands and thousands of years of evolution. I wont go into all the specific details of how it evolved here but just know that this reaction served a very specific survival purpose many, many years ago when we lived in small tribal communities. The thing you need to realize about this reaction is that although it was originally created to serve you, it no longer does. In fact, it actually hurts you and it usually does much more harm than good. Let me explain. When you start freaking out and doing everything you could to convince your ex to take you back, it makes you seem NEEDY, DESPERATE and UNDESIRABLE (which actually ends up pushing your ex away even further) And thats the weird counter-intuitive thing that most of us never realize. We think that if we just prove to them how much we love them and explain how we cant go on without them, theyll understand how much we love them and feel sympathy for us and want to get back together. Yet, that almost NEVER works. In fact, it usually just pushes them away even more. Why? Once again, because it makes you seem needy and desperate.
Just think back to a time when you walked into a store and a salesperson approached you right away, asking you what you needed. Then, before you could even respond, they immediately start showing you a bunch of stuff they got in stock and going on and on about how cool it is and how you need it. What was your initial reaction to their behavior? Probably something along the lines of ahhh, get away from me! Whats funny is that this reaction has nothing to do with what the salesperson said. What they said could have been the greatest thing in the world and the product itself could have been exactly what you needed. However, your natural instinct in that moment is to retreat and push away. WHY? Because you can sense that the other person is trying to get something from you. You can tell that they have some sort of agenda and it feels icky. Well, the same thing applies here. So please stop that right now! Got it? Good. This is obviously a lot easier said than done since youre under a very powerful spell of emotions right now. Like I said earlier, all the stuff thats going on behind the scenes is VERY real and its literally coursing through your entire body right now. In other words, there are physical things happening inside of you that are causing you to feel this way (which is why its so damn hard to get back in control of yourself) By the way, I want to give you one physical symptom of all these chemicals reactions just so you know that Im not making all this stuff up. You know that feeling you get in your gut? That tight knot you get when you realize that youre about to lose them forever?
That sick lonely feeling in the pit of your stomach? Yeah, that one. Thats one example of it. Just that one thing along is enough to compel you to do ANYTHING you can to get your ex back. Sometimes, its not necessarily even to get them back; its just to make that HORRIBLE feeling go away. Can you relate? I know I can. A lot of people go to really great lengths to avoid that feeling. Some people end up buying programs on how to get your ex back and they try to use a bunch of sneaky, manipulative tactics to get them back. Now, Im not going to get too much into all that stuff here but heres my take on it: If you need to get a program on how to get your ex back and use a bunch of sneaky manipulative psychological tactics its probably not meant to be. Personally, I believe that love should just happen naturally. Of course, it doesnt just last naturally. It takes A LOT of work to maintain a relationship and it requires you have to have a certain level of knowledge and skill. However, nothing about it should feel sneaky and manipulative. You really shouldnt have to do that just to get someone to love you. If thats the case, its not real love.
Maintaining Your Dignity After a Break Up

The goal of this section is to help you deal with the rejection the right way so that you can maintain your sense of dignity (not just for yourself but in your exs eyes as well) I cant even begin to tell you how many people Ive talked to that acted desperate and needy after the break up and did a whole bunch of crazy stuff that they now regret. Not only did it end up pushing their ex away even further, but it also tainted the image they had of them in their mind (which ended up ruining any chance they had of getting back together in the future). Ive helped some people recover from this and rebuild a friendship afterwards. However, a lot of people never really did (not that you have to be friends with your ex or anything). In fact, its probably best to NOT be friends with your ex after a break up. Ill talk about this a bit more in a later section though. For now, I just want to help you deal with rejection. The reason we take rejection so badly is because were social animals. Weve evolved over the years in a social environment, where we had to get along and cooperate with others in order to survive. We still have to do that now but not nearly as much as before. Before, when we lived in a tribal society of only about 40 people, the approval of others was crucial to our survival. If someone didnt approve of us, we could have been ostracized from the pack and left to survive on our own in the wilderness. And back then, the chances of survival under those conditions were next to nothing. In fact, it was practically impossible. Remember, we werent nearly as self-sufficient and independent as we are today. We desperately needed other people in order to survive. So when we were separated from the pack, we were basically as good as dead. So we developed a rejection-avoidant mechanism for this very reason. We learned that in order to best ensure our chances of survival, we had to minimize rejection and disapproval from our community. (NOTE: Im grossly oversimplifying a very complex process that has evolved over thousands of years but Im not trying to give you a history lesson here. Im just tryi ng to give you a quick overview of what youre feeling and why youre feeling that way.
How Rejection Affects Us

Fast-forward to now and you can see this process in effect just about anywhere you go. Just think back to a social interaction where you had to meet and interact with a bunch of new people. It could be a meeting or networking event, or in class or even out at a bar. Think back to a time where you saw someone you really liked or found really attractive. Someone that you really wanted to meet and strike up a conversation Did you actually go up and talk to them? Probably not. Dont worry, youre not alone. Most people dont. Why? Because we dont want to make ourselves vulnerable. We dont want to put ourselves out there and get turned down. We dont want to get rejected. We dont want to be embarrassed in front of others or end up feeling stupid. Thats why most of us never even bother to approach in the first place. Because we fear rejection. And while many of us may think that THAT rejection is bad the rejection we feel from someone we love is actually 10 TIMES WORSE. See, we actually feel MUCH more hurt and rejected when were rejected by someone that were in a relationship with. Why? Because the first type of rejection I brought up is a very superficial kind of rejection. When youre meeting someone new and they reject you, theyre usually just rejecting you based on some superficial thing perhaps it was based on something you said or perhaps it was simply based on your appearance or some other superficial thing.
However, when you get rejected by the person you love, by the person youve spent so much time with it, it STRIKES you right to your CORE. Thats why you feel that knot in the pit of your stomach. Its because this person has known you intimately for several months and years and they probably know you inside out like no one ever has before. And after getting to know the real you, theyve decided that they dont want to be with long-term. Thats what really hurts us deep in our heart and soul. Its hard NOT to take something like that very personally. And the fact that we take it so personally is actually part of the problem. In fact, its what causes the rejection to hurt so much. So what I want to help you do today is to separate the personal reaction from the rejection. That way, you dont let it affect who you are, your sense of self, and your self-esteem. Theres a great quote by Gandhi that says: Nobody can hurt me without my permission See, rejection hurts and its always going to hurt. However, it doesnt HAVE to hurt. In order to stop it from hurting, you need to understand why it hurts. The pain is actually a hard-wired response. In fact, studies have shown that when we get rejected by someone we love, it actually triggers the same part of our brain that feels PHYSICAL PAIN. Dr. Ethan Kross, a professor in psychology and his research team at the University of Michigan actually conducted a study where they separated people into 2 groups; one was a group people that just went through a break up and the other group was just a regular group of people. They hooked them up to a machine that monitored their brain activity and heres what they did:
They took the group of people that had recently gone through a break up and they showed them a picture of their ex. After that, they monitored the response in their brain. Then, they took the second group - the group of regular people and they spilled a cup of hot coffee on their arm. And what they discovered is that the same part of the brain was activated in the group that saw a picture of their ex as the group who got burned with hot coffee. In other words, they found that the brain reacts to emotional rejection exactly the same way that it responds to physical pain. The results of this study offers new insight into the complexities of social rejection and how the experience can be both emotionally and physically debilitating. Its clear that the psychological pain that results from a relationship break up affects our physical health. In fact, research has shown that grieving actually increases the risk of heart attacks. This is yet another indicator that reinforces all the stuff I was saying earlier. To put it simply, the pain youre feeling right now is very real and it hurts. But that doesnt mean that it has to KEEP hurting you. Although its perfectly normal to have this kind of reaction, you want to be able to take control of it so that it doesnt keep hurting you. You want to separate your sense of self from the rejection in order to preserve your sanity. So, here is something that I recommend in order to help you do that: Dont see the rejection as something that your ex is doing to you. Its not like your ex woke up one day and was like: Hey, I want to do this really mean and evil thing to him today. or, I want to hurt her really, really bad and cause her a lot of pain. What can I do? It wasnt like that. They still love you (even though they may not be acting like it right now)
Ill talk about this more in section 2 and Ill also explain why your ex is acting cold and distant right now. In the meantime, just realize that they do still care about you. They wouldnt have been with you if they didnt love or care about you to some degree. Now, whether it was true love or not is beyond the scope of this program. If you want to know if your ex really loved you and whether your relationship is really worth saving, I talk about it in much greater depth in my advanced course: Can Your Relationship Be Saved? I also include a special bonus with it called:
The True Love Test The 10 Sure-Fire Signs Your Ex Is The One For You
This test will help you figure out if this relationship is really worth saving (and it ll also help you reinforce your decision to move on if you already have a feeling that thats the best thing to do) If you havent gotten it yet, you can get it here: www.BreakthroughBreakupMethod.com
Remember That It Wasnt Easy For Them To Leave You Either

If they loved you or cared about you at all, then it wasnt easy for them to leave you (although it may feel like it was based on their current behavior). However, the truth is that its never easy to leave the person you love (even when you know its the right thing to do). However, people do eventually leave when the relationship gets too painful to bear. Remember how I said that humans are creatures of habit and we generally do everything in our power to avoid change? Well, the same thing applies in your exs case too. No matter how unhappy they were with you, losing you still sucks.
Theyre losing a friend, a lover, and a companion. Not only is it painful to lose someone that close to you but it also requires a really HUGE change. And remember what I said about change? We dont like it and we dont tend to deal very well with it. So with that in mind, I can guarantee you that this wasnt an easy decision for them. Its likely that theyve been thinking about it and mulling it over for a really long time. In fact, they probably knew that they wanted to break up with you a long time ago. They just kept putting it off longer and longer. Until something happened Now, you might be wondering, what happened? To put it simply: The pain of being with you got worse than the pain of losing you. Ill go into this in more depth in a later section but for now I just want you to begin to realize that this is something that your ex is doing for their own personal benefit (rather than as a negative thing to cause you pain) Therefore, you should do your best to NOT take it too personally or feel like theyre doing this in order to hurt you. Its not an attack, its an act of self-preservation. Whatever you do, dont start thinking that theres something wrong with you or that youre not good enough as you are. Sure, youre not perfect and Im sure there lots of things that you couldve done differently. However, that doesnt mean that youre not perfectly lovable as you are. Like I said, there are probably many things that you can learn and improve (and w ell explore these things a bit more in a later section). In fact, I actually created an entire course on how to learn from all the mistakes you made in your current relationship so that you dont make them again in the future. Its called:
Why Your Ex Left & What it REALLY Takes to Make a Relationship Work. If you havent gotten it yet, you can get it here: => www.WhyYourExLeft.com For now though, I just want you to realize that youre not flawed in any way. Just because your ex rejected you doesnt mean that you are any less lovable. you are still whole and complete. If you find yourself questioning that or worrying that youll never find someone else, its usually a sign of low self-esteem. Heres a fundamental truth that I discovered in my private practice: People with high self-esteem tend to cope with breakups and rejections A LOT more effectively. Why? Because people with high self-esteem know who they are and what they have to offer If one person doesnt appreciate them, they know that someone else will. I want you to feel the same way. Remember: Youre not really losing a part of yourself (though I know it can often feel that way).
Losing Yourself in Relationships

See, when were in love, we have a tendency to attach our sense of self to our partner. We inter-mingle our lives so much that we often become really attached to the other person, which makes it really easy for us to lose our sense of self in the relationship. When this happens, losing your partner becomes a lot more than just losing the person you love. It also means losing a part of yourself. When you attach yourself to your partner and lose yourself in the relationship, losing them feels like youre losing everything. It can affect you to the point where you feel like you cant go on without them. Well, that would explain why youre reacting in a fit of pani c and desperately clinging to the relationship in any way you can. This is why its so important to stop and reflect on the situation before you just desperately try to get them back at all costs. You need to stop and ask yourself:
Why Do I Really Want Them Back?.

If you want them back just to eliminate the suffering in order to get rid of that feeling of loneliness and to avoid having your sense of self dismantled then youre not really wanting them back for the RIGHT reasons (or perhaps, not for very pure reasons). See, everyone wants to get their ex back. The question is: Do you want to get them back because you value the relationship or because youre afraid of losing them and living your life without them? Theres a big difference.
A lot of people that try to get back with their ex do it just to hold onto the relationship (even though, deep down, they know that the breakup is probably in their best interest). Thats what I did and thats what so many of us do. Why? Because losing the person you love is freakin hard! (Even when the time has truly come) So what I want to do today is challenge you to think a little deeper about whether this relationship was really in your best interest. Were you really happy in this relationship or are you just really comfortable and familiar with this person and afraid of starting over? Are you trying to get them back just to feel desirable again or do you really want to have them back in their life and rebuild an entirely new relationship with them? So ask yourself: why do I really want them back in the first place?
Because I Love Them!!!

This is the most common reason people have for getting back together. They say things like But I love them so much! I cant imagine my life without them! Okay, well, everyone loves the person theyre with If you didnt love them, you probably wouldnt be with them (at least in most cases). However, if youre hurting over it this bad, then you obviously did love them and you did care about them very deeply. And while love is all great and special Love is not enough to actually make a relationship WORK. Sure, its enough to spark all those great romantic feelings that you had in the beginning but it takes A LOT more than love to actually make a relationship work.
With that said, I want to encourage you to explore the REAL reasons for why you want them back. Dont just react on autopilot and try everything you can to get them back out of desperation. Its not going to work. Plus, it may not even be in your best interest to get them back. I know thats not what you want to hear and you may not be quite ready to even hear that yet but thats often the case. Well talk about it more in some of the other videos - but for now - I just want you to realize that you are not any less lovable without this person. Remember, you are not really losing any part of yourself (or at least not any part of your true self) The real you cannot be taken from you.
Love Cannot Be Taken From You

Another thing that a lot of people really stress out about is the idea of losing love (or losing the person they love). Heres what I have to say that (pardon me while I get metaphysical) This person did NOT actually GIVE YOU LOVE Sure, you may have felt loved in the relationship and they may have shown their love to you in a lot of different ways that made you feel valued or appreciated. However, the feelings of love that you felt in the relationship were YOUR FEELINGS. Those feelings were coming out from within you (and they are still inside of your body right now) So this person didnt actually GIVE you LOVE they simply inspired you to give yourself the permission to feel YOUR OWN LOVE in their presence. And heres the kicker You can give yourself permission to feel that love again with other people that happen to strike your interest. I know you dont want to think about that right now but love is a resource that is very abundant on this planet. You CAN love again. And you WILL love again. Hell, you can even love if you never end up finding anyone thatll ever love you again. How? By simply loving yourself!
The Most Important And Most Valuable Love In The World is Self-Love
You cannot truly love someone who does not love themselves. In fact, trying to love someone who doesnt love themselves is like trying to hug broken glass. Youll only end up hurting yourself more in the process. If you dont love yourself, all the love you get from others is going straight into a buc ket with a bunch of empty holes at the bottom. All that love is eventually just going to end up leaking out because no amount of love is ever enough to fill a bucket for someone who doesnt love themselves. You are the only one that can ever fill it. However, when your bucket is already FULL and someone pours love in, you overflow with even more love and appreciation. And THATS the place that you really want to be. If you dont love yourself, every act of love you give is infused with impurity It becomes a sneaky way of giving just to get something back. In other words, you do it in order to get something that you think you need in order to fill something within you (which it never really will). You are the only one that can ever fill that. You can never fill that part of you with the love of another (at least not if you want to enjoy a life of sanity and drama-free relationships) The only thing that you can ever really fill that with is your own self-love. If this material resonates with you, I encourage you to embark on a journey of self-love. Do whatever it takes to build yourself up and give yourself the approval that you so desperately crave from others.
If you dont give yourself that approval, youll constantly be a slave to other peoples opinion of you. Liberate yourself from the quest for other peoples approval and give yourself the approval youve been yearning for. Its the only approval that will ever truly satisfy you. By the way, I talk a lot more about how to actually do this in my other program: The Fresh Start: How to Bounce Back from a Breakup, Regain Your Joy In Life and Become a Stronger & Better You If you want more details on how to sign up for this program, just send me an email at [email protected] Anyways, I just wanted to share that as another key distinction for you to keep in mind on your journey to recovery. Remember that what you felt in the relationship was your own love and you can feel that love again in the future. Hopefully, thatll help you deal with that devastating feeling you get when it feels like youre losing everything and youll never be able to feel the same way about anyone ever again. What Id like to do now is actually take all the ideas that I just shared with you today step further and give you a specific exercise that you can apply in your own life. That way you have something that you can actually DO to feel better. I know I shared a lot of great concepts here and I know a lot of them are probably making a lot of sense to you. You may have even had some really profound aha moments. However, I want to do more than just that for you. I want to give you something that you can actually do to cope with the loss and become more at peace with yourself. Something you can do to rebuild your self-esteem and your self-love so that you arent totally devastated by the break up. To help you do that, I want to share a really, really powerful technique that I talked a lot about in the video that you saw right before you bought this course. Its something that I recommend to every single one of my private clients as well and I actually guide them through this process during some of our sessions. The process Im referring to here is a powerful technique called EFT, which sta nds for The Emotional Freedom Technique.
The Emotional Freedom Technique

This is an extremely powerful technique that can help you deal with various emotions, such as traumas, fears and anxieties. Note: this technique is not meant to be a replacement for traditional forms of therapy. You are more than welcome to use it to assist you in your recovery process. However, I am not saying that this will be the thing to fix things for you. It has helped me and many of my clients tremendously. In fact, its been one of the most powerful tools Ive ever discovered. However, I cannot guarantee anything and I cannot be held accountable for anything that happens as a result of using this technique. Okay, now that we got that part out of the way, lets go ahead an d dive into the actual technique Theres two components to EFT; one is physical and one is verbal. Im going to go over the verbal component of this technique here and then Im going to link you to another video that shows you the physical part of it afterwards. Deal? (PS: the video Im going to share with you is a really great way to learn the technique because it actually gives you a close-up look at how to do it and shows you exactly what to do every step of the way. Ill post it for you at the end of this section). So heres what the verbal part of this technique is all about Its about SELF-ACCEPTANCE More specifically, accepting yourself in spite of whatever you may be feeling right now. This is what will ultimately help you cope with it (both the rejection and any other thing that you may apply this technique to in the future) Its really interesting because the philosophy behind this technique actually runs parallel to the idea that I expressed a little bit earlier in that quote I shared with you by Gandhi: Nobody can hurt me without my permission Well, what this technique does is it actually gives you a way to accept yourself. Once you do, a lot of the hurt will dissolve.
And thats the mind-boggling thing about it all No one is FORCING you to feel hurt right now. You simply feel that way because you got rejected. And because of that, youre getting all down on yourself. However, no one can make you feel down about yourself without your permission. In other words, youre the one thats letting yourself get down all about it. Kind of a bittersweet truth, right? Dont worry, this technique will help you stop beating yourself up about it. See, its actually NORMAL to get down about it. What this technique does, essentially, is it helps you accept yourself so that you dont continue to STAY down about it. It helps you embrace, both yourself and your reaction, to whatever is happening. And once you do, youll finally feel at peace with yourself. So heres how you do the verbal component of the technique You do it by simply saying ONE simple little statement out loud. Even though I feel _______, I deeply and completely accept myself The blank should be filled in with whatever you are feeling right now. This allows you to embrace what youre feeling so that you can actually work with it, rather than getting consumed by it. Feel free to use this technique spontaneously and voice whatever is coming up for you as youre feeling it. Really tune into whats coming up for you and give yourself the opp ortunity to not only be with that, but to voice it out loud and make it okay for you to be with that.
The Emotional Freedom Technique Examples

Heres a couple different ways that you can actually do this Even though I feel hurt and rejected, I deeply and completely accept myself Even though I feel completely devastated right now, I deeply and completely accept myself Even though I feel depressed about losing the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, I deeply and completely accept myself
There are hundreds of other spinoffs that you can use with this technique but those are just a few examples that illustrate how it works. You can start with these if you find it difficult to actually tune into your feelings. However, the most profound moments of healing will come when youre actually able to pinpoint something thats been lurking around inside of you. When you bring it to the surface and welcome it, youll transform all the energy you have twisted up around it. Remember: you need to feel it in order to heal it. So bring up whatevers bothering you and give yourself the permission to just let it be. If you welcome your feelings and allow them to be, youll notice an incredible wave of peace wash over you. But even more importantly, youll notice a deep well of inner peace within you. (PS: this technique is 10x more powerful if you say that sentence outloud while looking at yourself in the mirror. This is not part of the actual technique, its just a litt le modification that Ive adopted and found incredibly helpful in my own life. In fact, Ive had some of the most profound moments of peace when I was actually able to see myself in the mirror as I was saying this outloud. Id really, really recommend it.) The more you use this technique, and the more you accept yourself and all your feelings, the easier itll be for you to cope with the loss.
The Emotional Freedom Technique Resources

Here are two great resources with more information about EFT 1) Complete Overview of The Emotional Freedom Technique => http://eft.mercola.com/ 2) Step-by-Step Video Walkthrough of The Emotional Freedom Technique => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWu3rSEddZI In this section, I taught you the verbal component to this technique. Theres also a physical component to it and its demonstrated very well in this video. The physical component of the technique involves tapping certain points on your body as you say the sentence of acceptance outloud (these points run along your meridians, which control the energy flow in your body). So heres how it works 1) You bring up what youre feeling by saying that statement outloud 2) Then, you use the tapping technique to release them This technique is based on a very simple principle: Emotions are simply energy in emotion. All you have to do is give them the space to process. Once you give your emotions the space to flow theyll just naturally work themselves out on their own. Unfortunately, most people suppress their emotions and never give them the space to process. They just keep them bottled up inside and they continue to eat away at their life
This technique will show you how to work through them and release them so that you can finally get through this and get the peace of mind you deserve. I taught you the verbal part of the technique, as well as the philosophy behind it. The video I linked you to will explain it in greater depth and itll also show you exactly how to do it, step-by-step. So go ahead and watch it and then apply this technique to your situation. Its a great way of dealing with all the pain youre feeling (and its a lot more constructive than freaking out, acting desperate, or complaining about life). Trust me, Ive been there and I get why you might feel tempted to do that. However, Im trying to show you a better way here so please welcome my help and use it Its helped me and thousands of other people and I know that it will help you too. PS: if youre having a hard time dealing with something that happened in your relationship and you want my personal advice on YOUR situation, Id be happy to help you. Read below to learn how to contact me.
Theres No Magic Pill Except THIS

Theres really no way around a broken heart. It hurts and theres no magic pill you can take to make it all stop. However, what you can do is allow the pain to be so that itll pass quicker. In order to do this though, you have to remember one thing:
You have to work with the tide, not against it.

This is the secret to getting through it. So whatever you do, dont judge yourself for feeling what youre feeling right now. Youre not weak, stupid or crazy for feeling how youre feeling. Its normal. Whats not normal is to NOT feel them. If you didnt feel anything, that would mean one of two things 1) Either youre completely numb 2) Or youre a total sociopath So dont beat yourself up for feeling hurt, just allow it to be. If you simply sit with it and allow it to be, it will pass. If you try to stuff it down or resist it, youll only make things worse. Theres a great quote by a famous psychologist named Carl Jung that says:
What you resist, persists

Kind of ironic, huh? Its really counter-intuitive. Once you stop resisting your emotions and just allow them to be, the charge will just naturally disappear on its own.
Once all the resistance and self-judgment melts away, you will simply sit in a space of self-acceptance. This will bring you a profound sense of inner peace. And thats really the goal, right? To be at peace with yourself no matter what happens. To be okay even if it doesnt work out. To be happy with or without your ex. Well, this technique is the tool that will help you do that. Its helped me tremendously in my own life and Ive also used it to help thousands of people from all around the world. Im confident that if you use it, it will help you too. If you learn how to accept yourself no matter what happens, youll become much stronger and much more resilient in life. You wont be slowed down by various forms of self-sabotage, whether thats selfjudgment or feelings of hopelessness. Youll also be able to silence the inner critic and just accept reality for what it is. This will make you better equipped to deal with any challenges that may arise. So go ahead and use this technique as a stepping stone to becoming your greatest self. Allow yourself to feel whatever youre feeling right now and let it be okay. You just got rejected and it hurts. Its natural to take it personally and get all down on yourself. But rather than letting it take over you and overpower you, combat it with self-acceptance. Give yourself self-love and approval. You have to nurture yourself in a time of weakness. I know this may sound a little weird or touchy-feely to some people but I urge you to NOT just brush this off. Dont just go oh, thats silly or oh, thats too gimmicky just put that stuff aside for now and use it. I promise that if you do, youll FEEL the impact first hand.
Thats why I shared this particular technique with you in the very first section of the program. Trust me, I could have shared a hundred other things that Ive learned throughout the years - and yet - out of all the things I could have shared, I chose this one. Why? Because this technique is single-handedly the most powerful tool for dealing with all the pain after the break up. I put it in the very beginning of the course so that you can use it right away. After all, thats why you got this course in the first place, right? You got it because you wanted some kind of relief. You wanted a way to deal with the pain and make it go away. Well, here it is. I am giving you a proven way to heal yourself.
The best way to combat rejection is through self-acceptance.

Too often, we reject ourselves based on someone elses opinion of us and we suffer because of it. Dont belittle yourself for letting it affect you. Dont judge yourself for being weak enough to let other peoples opinion affect you, just accept that it DID affect you (and thats okay). Sure, itd be nice if you were beyond that but most of us arent (at least not initially). And thats okay youll be able to use this experience as a way to grow beyond that. But you needed to face this experience in order for that to happen so embrace it. Give yourself the space to actually feel whats going on for you, rather than trying to block it out. I know it sucks, which is probably why youre just trying to block it out in the first place; however, if you resist it, its only going to get worse. So go ahead and use this technique to heal yourself in whatever you way feel most comfortable. If you feel goofy doing it in front of the mirror thats cool dont do it in front of the mirror. I just personally find it really powerful to actually be able to look at myself in the eye as Im doing it.
Doing this process really helps me reconnect to my true self, the part of me that lies deep within thats much bigger and much more powerful than all the fleeting, temporary life circumstances. That same great self dwells within you as well it dwells within ALL of us. And if you can tap into that, you can connect to something bigger that will give you the power to get through this. Note: when I say something bigger, I dont necessarily mean God or some sort of higher power (though youre more than welcome to try to tap into that as well). However, if youre not religious at all or if youre spiritual but not religious, I want you to envision yourself tapping into your highest self as you look into the mirror. Look deep within your eyes and tap into your greatest, most resilient and authentic version of yourself. Envision you at your highest potential. That part that you really see yourself when youre all by yourself. That part that youve always believed you can be. Tap into that part of you right now and rely on that to get you through this. It can and it will. It may be hard to see that right now but its part of the growing process. You literally have to grow into that version of yourself. You have to step into it - and once you do - itll get you through. As you can probably tell, this is about A LOT more than just getting over a break up. This is about helping you awaken to your own greatness. Its about helping you tap back into your own power so that you can not only survive the breakup, but also thrive through life. If you really embrace this as an opportunity to do that as an opportunity to learn, grow and become a better person your life will transform beyond your wildest imagination. Thats what happened to me and thats what happened to hundreds of people that Ive worked with one-on-one. And it all starts with making ONE simple decision: It starts by accepting this experience as a wake-up call.
The Break Up Wake Up

Once I had this change in perspective, my whole life started to change. I suddenly embraced the hand I was dealt and began taking the steps I had to take in order to get myself out of the emotional turmoil that I was in. Within just a few short months, I went from depressed and miserable to incredibly blissful. Before my days were filled with stress, anxiety and discontent and now they are filled with peace, joy and fulfillment. Dont get me wrong, it wasnt easy to make these changes and it took a lot of work for me to truly transform myself. However, it all started with ONE simple choice The choice to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for everything in my life. I know thats not particularly easy or sexy but thats where it all starts. It all starts with you Right now, you have the same opportunity I had. You have the opportunity to embrace what happened and use it to transform your life for the better. In this moment, you have the power to back control of your life and become the person you deserve to be. If you do this, youll eventually look back on this event and see it as a blessing. After a few months passed, I realized that my ex actually did both of us a favor by leaving.
Not only did she free us both from a toxic relationship that wasnt really making either of us happy but she also gave me exactly what I needed to wake up and turn my life around. Prior to that, I just sort of drifted through life and took whatever came to me. If I didnt get what I wanted, Id always find some sort of excuse for why things didnt work out. I would just play the victim role and complain about bad things always seem to happen to me. It wasnt until I was faced with the excruciating pain of heartbreak that I made the decision to take full responsibility for my life and where I choose to go from here. But once I did, my life changed forever. I became much more positive and proactive in life. I learned the power of making a decision and carrying it through until its finished, no matter how difficult it got or what I encountered along the way. I learned to persist in the face of adversity. Pain didnt have the power to stop me. Temporary setbacks didnt have the power to knock me off course. I was determined. Through this experience, I became much stronger and much more resilient. Ive also learned to be a lot more patient and compassionate with myself. Ive become much more in-tune with my feelings and how things affect me. This gave me the confidence to go after what I wanted, knowing that I could deal with whatever would come up along the way.
Ever since then Ive been unstoppable. Ive written books, Ive launched 4 different businesses that did over $100,000 dollars in sales, and Ive traveled all around the world. Ive done tons of other amazing stuff too but thats not really the point here. The point here is that I didnt actually give myself the permission to do any of this stuff until I developed this level of self-confidence. But once I did, I finally gave myself the permission to pursue my dreams and do what makes me happy. And now I cant help but look back at all the years I wasted. I wasted so many years as a passive observer, living a life of mediocrity. I had a victim mentality and I would always complain about how life sucked. I had a sad sob story of how things never seemed to work out for me, how life was unfair and how things were way too hard. This way of living prevented me from making any kind of change in my life. And when I actually did try to change something and it didnt work out or I just didnt see immediate results, I would just use that to sabotage myself even more, further reinforcing how hopeless it is for me to even try to do anything about my situation. It was literally a downward spiral. However, this was how I lived all my life so I thought thats just how things were. I didnt realize how self-defeating this actually was until after the break up. So although I didnt fully realize it at the time, I was actually given a great gift the day my heart was broken. I was given the opportunity to re-create my life.
A New Beginning
We all have flashes of awareness in which we realize that who we are in all our smallness has to break apart in order for a new self to emerge.Ive learned that it is only when we are willing to give up the fragile hold we have on our illusions and come apart that we can begin to see the truth, surrender, and begin anew. - Baron Baptiste I want you to imagine your heart breaking open as a necessary part of opening yourself up to something greater. Imagine your heart expanding in order to embrace everything your life was meant to be. As I look back on what happened, I realize that my heart was breaking open for a reason. I had a tremendous life-force in me that could no longer be contained. The breaking HAD to happen in order for my heart to expand and contain the extraordinary fullness that is flowing into my life every single day. I am much more positive and optimistic. I am also much more mature and self-aware. But even more importantly, I am stronger than ever now. The day my ex left was the day I discovered a strength within myself that I never knew existed.
You never really know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have
Much like you, I was left with no choice but to find a way to survive. Through this process, I found the strength within myself to get through it. I wish I could say it was easy but it wasnt.
It took a lot of conscious effort to continuously make the right choices in each moment. However, it made me a better person at the end of the day. In fact, Im actually really glad my heart broke open that day because its revealed so much to me about life. Through the process of having my heart broken, my life opened to me. And with gratitude, I am now open to life. I know its hard to understand why everything is happening right now, let alone be grateful for it. However, I want to invite you to explore how this situation may actually be in your favor. Put aside all the panic and desperation for a minute and silence the urge to try to get them back at all costs. Now, step back and think rationally about things for a second. Do you really want them back? Is it actually in your best interest to get back together or are you just afraid of losing them and being all alone? BIG difference. Ill talk more on that in a later section For now, I just want to leave you with one closing thought about gratitude: Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie
I know it may not feel like theres all that much to be grateful for right now because you just lost one of the most important people in your life. However, it's important to stop and acknowledge all the amazing things in your life that you DO still have. Heres a really humbling thought There are people out there who are happy with less than what you have Kind of puts things in perspective, huh? How about thinking of THAT the next time you find yourself wallowing in self-pity? The lesson that I want you to take away from this is that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE I know it's easy to get trapped in a spiral of doom and gloom after a break up but you need to make a conscious effort to take note all the amazing things in your life that you have to be grateful for. As much as it may feel like it right now, your life is NOT over. There are still tons of amazing things to look forward to... IF you make the choice to do so. So today, I challenge you to find appreciation for something that you may normally take for granted. It may feel a little "unnatural" at first but it'll really help. In fact, it has now been scientifically proven that expressing gratitude every day can make you 25% happier. Not only that, but it's been shown to actually change your body chemistry and give you a much more peaceful state of mind. This research is from a new and emerging field called positive psychology, which focuses on studying what makes people happy and how we can use that to improve our lives, rather than studying depressed people and trying to figure out "what's wrong" or "what to fix" So many of my coaching clients have come to me for help after seeing various therapists and psychologists for months (and sometimes even YEARS).
Many of them come to me with this idea that theres something wrong with them. Like theyre somehow broken. Some of them were even prescribed various forms of medication and antidepressants to help them cope with their anxiety and depression Yet, a lot of them came to me feeling just as frustrated and confused as they were when the relationship first ended. That's because there's no way to medicate the pain away. I know at times you probably wish there was a "magic pill" that you can take to make it all go away but there's not. Honestly, this course is the closest thing to a magic pill Ive ever seen. If you simply follow along and apply all the things I shared with you, I promise it will help you. And if youre ever having a hard time, I want you know that Id be happy to help you. Just read below to learn how to reach me:
Want My Personal Advice on Your Situation?

If you want more in-depth advice based on your specific situation, just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] After you reach out to us, my assistant will get back to you to schedule a time for us to talk. Once we get on the phone for our session, Ill help you see through all the confusion and figure out what you should do. Disclaimer: due to the overwhelming amount of requests I get, I cannot personally talk to everyone that wants my advice. However, we always get back to people within 24-48 hours so go ahead and reach out to us and my assistant will let you know what times I have available. Im usually pretty booked up but even if Im totally booked for the week, they should still be able to get you in very soon. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
Section 2:
Why Your Ex is Acting Cold & Distant (And How to Get Them To Open Up)
In this section, I want to address something thats probably driving you crazy right now: How cold and distant your ex is being They were totally in love with you before, everything was great and now they barely even give you the time of day. Its probably driving you crazy and making you wonder: How can they do this? How could they be so cold and distant and act like I dont even matter to them? In this section, I want to address some of the underlying reasons for their behavior so you can finally understand whats really going on. Once you understand whats going on behind the scenes youll finally be able to stop driving yourself nuts, wondering why theyre acting this way. The truth is, youll probably still be bothered by it even after you learn this. However, itll bother you a lot less once you finally understand this. So heres the short explanation: The reason theyre acting so cold and distant right now is because theyre A LOT more over you than you think.
Your Ex is A LOT More Over You Than You Think

You might think that this all just happened very suddenly; however, your ex has already been thinking about leaving you for quite some time. Its not like they just woke up one day and were like:
hmm, this relationship isnt really doing it for me. I really love this person and all but I think Im just going to go ahead and end it.
Not at all. In fact, heres what I discovered after talking to a lot of people on both sides of the breakup, both the person doing the dumping and the dumpee Most people plan to break up with someone for weeks, months, and sometimes years before they actually leave them. From time to time, Ill ask people the following question: How long did you know you wanted to end it before you actually ended it? The amount of time varies in each case, though the most common answer I get is usually a couple of months. See, its never easy to end a relationship. (If youve ever been the one to end a relationship in the past then you already know this) My point here is this: Its never easy to leave someone you love I know right now it may seem like its really easy for them to do it based on their current behavior. However, you have to realize that their current behavior is a reflection of weeks, months, and sometimes YEARS of unhappiness. It wasnt this easy for them to do when they first got the idea. Thats why they wrestled with it for so long before they finally did it. The only reason it seems so easy for them to walk away right now is because theyve actually been EMOTIONALLY DISTANCING themselves from you during all that time.
In other words, theyve been pulling away from you in order to make it easier for them to leave the relationship. As you can imagine, itd be really hard to leave someone youre still madly in love with. No one ever leaves someone thinking, oh my god, they are such an amazing person!!! I dont know if Ill ever be find someone as good as them again! If that was the case, they probably wouldnt be leaving them in the first place If your partner still saw you in such a positive light, they wouldnt be walking out of your life right now. So why are they doing it? Its because something happened to cause them see you in a negative light It may have just been a thing or two at first. Perhaps it just led to a fight or an argument in the beginning. You guys got through it. No big deal. However, as more and more issues came up (or as the same issue surfaced again and again), it began to have a devastating effect on the relationship. And over time, it even began to affect the way that they saw you as a person. So while it may have just been a little thing at first, over time it progressed into a really big thing (kind of like a snowball effect) And now youre left trying to figure out what that little thing is, probing your partner for the reason theyve been acting so different lately. And yet, they dont even know how to explain it to you because its now progressed way beyond that little thing that started it all. Its now a full-blown snowball, with a collection of fights, arguments and reasons that have built up over time. And now all these things are stored away, brewing with disappointment and resentment. Thats why theyre acting so cold to you. Its because theyre in an entirely different emotional state right now. And that emotional state is whats causing them to want to leave you. Heres a universal truth about break ups: People break up because of emotions.
No matter what reason your ex gave you for leaving (if they even gave you any reason at all), I guarantee that it wasnt the real reason. And even if it was the real reason, that reason is only one tiny sliver of the full story. And I can guarantee that they evaluated the whole story before breaking up with you. No one just wakes up and decides to leave the person they love in the spur of the moment. It takes A LOT more than that to actually leave someone. So what does it take to actually get someone to leave?
Why Do People Break Up?

There are a lot of different things that can make someone leave a relationship (far more than I can even begin to describe in this one section) If you want to learn more about why your ex decided to break up with you, I recommend getting my advanced course on Why Your Ex Left. In this course, I explore the 10 most common reasons that cause people to break up (and what you can learn from it). The goal of this course is to help you learn what went wrong in your relationship so that you actually have a chance of rebuilding it. Or, if you dont want to rebuild it, you can use this knowledge to make sure that you dont make the same mistakes in the future. You can download the course here => www.WhyYourExLeft.com
The Reason Behind Every Single Break Up

Although theres a wide variety of reasons that caused you and your ex to break up, theres ONE core universal reason that made them break up with you. This core reason is at the heart of every break up (no matter what the surface level reasons may be). Your ex left because the pain of being with you became greater than the pain of losing you. Pretty insightful stuff, huh? Like I said in section 1, as humans, we HATE change. In fact, we try to avoid it at all costs. Its painful, its uncomfortable and its unfamiliar. So if someone reached a point to where they were actually willing to endure the pain of changing, it means that they reached a point in their life where the pain of staying where they were became worse than the pain of changing. Make sense? See, what happened was that your ex was unhappy in the relationship for so long that it finally drove them to do something about it. The first few times they brushed it off, they ignored, etc. However, after a certain period of time they reached what I call The Pain Point This is the point in which staying is more painful than changing. When they reach that point, they cross what I call The Transformational Threshold This is when theyre actually driven to make a change in their life. In this case, that change involves breaking up with you. PS: if youre the one that did the dumping then this should explain the process you went through prior to actually breaking up with your partner. You may be tempted to second-guess your decision at times because now youre going through the actual pain of changing and living your life without them. However, its important that you stick through this period of discomfort and get to the other side.
A lot of people start having leavers remorse and start wondering if they made the right choice. In order to counteract this urge, you have to remember why you made the decision to end the relationship in the first place. If you dont do this, you run the risk of giving in to your ex in your moments of weakness and compromising on what you believe to be the right thing to do. Back to the dumpee As you can see, your ex went through a rough process before finally ending the relationship. Sure, it may not seem as rough to them right now as it does for you but thats because theyve had a chance to process this stuff over an extended period of time (while this probably hit you all at once). However, you have to realize that this break up isnt just happening all at once, totally out of the blue. Your ex has been unhappy in the relationship for quite some time (whether youve been able to pick up on it or not is a totally different story). Regardless of whether you did or not, your ex is now at a point where they lost hope of things ever changing. If they didnt lose hope, then theyd still be with you. In fact, you guys would probably be working on your relationship together right now (rather than being separated and grieving the loss) Now, if they are still with you, then its even more crucial for you to get some help to turn things around before its too late. Please call my office immediately and ask my assistant to set up a Relationship Rescue session with me. On this call, Ill do my best to help you save the relationship while you still can. You can still call and ask to book this session even if you guys already broke up, though the relationship might already be beyond repair at this point. If you want to know more about whether you can still save your relationship, check out my advanced course for the 10 tell-tale signs that your relationship can still be saved. If youre interested in learning more about this course, send us an email for more details at [email protected]
The REAL Reason Your Ex is Acting Cold & Distant

When I talked to people in my private practice, I discovered that some of them actually confronted their ex to see why theyre suddenly acting that way. They probed them and started asking them questions like: Why are you being this way? Why cant you just talk to me normally? Most of the time, their ex didnt even respond to them or give them any real reason for their behavior. However, in some cases, their ex said its just easier that way Interesting This basically confirms exactly what I was saying earlier: Its easier for your ex to cope with the break up when they dont allow themselves to get emotional again If they allow themselves to get emotional again, it would make them vulnerable. And since theyve been thinking about ending the relationship for quite some time, they dont want to open themselves up to you and risk being swayed or influenced by their emotions. So instead, theyve decided to just shut themselves off from you completely in order to make it easier on them. Heres what you need to take away from it all You need to realize that they are not doing this to hurt you theyre doing it in order to make it easier for them to cope with it. This is something that I believe to be a universal truth in life: People arent trying to hurt you, theyre just trying to save themselves If you actually dig deeper and look beyond the surface in any situation where you feel wronged or hurt, you will likely find this to be true. Try to keep this in mind so that you dont drive yourself nuts. Your ex may not act any differently as a result of this but itll give you some clarity on whats really going on so that you dont keep obsessing about it.
What We Do When Our Partner Leaves

When our partner tries to leave, we usually hound them for a reason. We try to understand why theyre leaving. The reason that so many of us do this is because we think that if we can just get a reason out of them then we can convince them to stay. But like I said earlier, this rarely ever works because their decision to leave you is an EMOTIONAL decision (not a logical one). This is really hard for us to grasp (especially for guys) But heres the thing They didnt break up with you for just ONE specific reason but rather a collection of reasons that caused a change in EMOTION. And once that change in emotion happens, its usually really hard to do anything else. Yet, most people dont really realize this They continue to probe their partner for some kind of answer as to why they ended it. Why are you doing this!?!? What happened!?!? Lets talk it out. Unfortunately, the way most people go about this is totally WRONG. They dont know the right approach to use to actually get their partner to open up. They dont know how to communicate effectively. They dont know how to handle conflict. If they did, they wouldnt be on the brink of a break up to begin with. Rebuilding a broken relationship is a hard enough feat as it is. However, its next to impossible when neither partner has the skills to make it work. And even when one person has the skills to make it work, its still not enough. The truth is that it takes two people to make a relationship work.
The main thing Im trying to communicate here is that even if they were open to talking to you right now, the chances of you convincing them to take you back are not very high. Why? Because, like I said, they didnt just break up with you for ONE particular reason. Its usually a collection of reasons But even more importantly, its a collection of EMOTIONS and EXPERIENCES These are the things that caused them to distance themselves from you EMOTIONALLY. In other words, they FEEL differently towards you right now Thats why anything you try to say LOGICALLY wont work. Why? Because you are literally speaking to them in a different language. You are speaking to them with LOGIC while the issue here is EMOTIONAL If you want ANY chance of rebuilding a relationship with them, you have to change the way they feel about you. (And youre not going to do that by arguing with them or using logic) The truth is: its very hard to actually change someones feelings towards you especially when theres a lot of built up resentment) It takes two willing people to make it work. If you want to learn if theres still a chance of getting back with your ex or rebuilding a relationship with them, send us an email for more details about my advanced course [email protected] In this course, Im going to help you figure out if you should try to get back with your ex or move on. The reason its so important for you to figure this out is so that you can finally get some sort of answer or closure. Without it, youll just end up being stuck in the uncertainty cycle forever, torn being moving on and getting back together.
Hell, you may even waste weeks, months, and sometimes YEARS of your life waiting around on someone that really had no intention of ever getting back together with you.
This course will help you make sense of their behavior and see through any mixed-signals they may be giving you. Ill show you exactly what to look for to figure out if they still want to be with you. After doing this for years, I discovered that theres actually 2 tell-tale signs to look for that are a dead give-away. Once you learn what these are, itll all make sense to you. Ill also give you the critical signs that you need to pay attention to so that you dont end up wasting your time with someone who doesnt want to be with you. Most people are totally nave to these signs. In fact, they usually just end up brushing them off completely because the truth isnt pretty. However, Im not concerned with saying whats pretty, Im only considered with giving you the truth. And thats exactly what Im going to give you in this course. Warning: this is NOT for the faint of heart. This is only for the people who actually value themselves enough to finally get this thing figured out. If youre okay with living in a state of constant confusion, reading into every little thing they do, wondering if theres still a chance this is not for you. This is only for people who want to know the truth. If youre interested in learning more about this course, send us an email for more details at [email protected]
How To Get Them To Open Up

Alright, so as promised, Im going to tell you exactly what to do to get your ex to open up I know, I know the thing youve been dying to get to ever since buying this course. The reason I didnt share this with you right away is because I wanted to lay the groundwork first and get you to brace yourself for this both mentally and emotionally. You needed to get back in touch with your true self first; the part of you that is bigger than whatever situation youre in right now. Next, you needed to understand where your ex is at right now. You needed to understand where theyre coming from (and why theyre acting that way). Now that you have a better grasp of these two things, youre better prepared to take on the task at hand. Before you say a single word to them, you have to make sure that youre not coming across as needy and desperate. Neediness is not attractive and any kind of attachment will actually push them away. So get a grip on yourself and regain your composure before you do anything You need to center yourself and get back to a place of wholeness within yourself first. Remember, you would be okay with or without them if it really came down to it. By the way, this is all based on The Attachment Principle that I discovered. I covered this in the very first video you saw when you bought this course. In case you forgot it, it goes like this:
In every relationship, the person who cares least always has the most power.
PS: if youd like to watch that video again, you can see it here: www.BreakupRelief.com However, the point of me sharing this with you isnt to tell you that you need to stop loving or caring about them. Not at all.
I shared this with you in order to illustrate the power dynamic that runs behind the scenes in EVERY relationship. I just want you to be aware of this principle so you dont come across as desperate and needy. Thats all. So whatever you do, dont start begging or pleading for another chance. Also, dont hound them. Dont try to pressure them to give you a reason and dont try to give them any kind of ultimatums of your own. Stop trying to control the situation. Just pull back for now and get a grip of yourself. Love yourself and get to a place where youd be okay with or without them. If youre not in that space, do NOT talk to your ex. Youll only make it worse. Once youre in that state, heres what you do: Agree with their decision to break up. Just agree with the breakup for now and let them know that while you really value what you two shared together, you need some time for yourself to really reflect on things and see if this is something that you really want for your future. By framing it this way, you are coming from a place of power (rather than a place of desperation). While this may seem like a very simple statement, its actually sub -communicating a lot of very important things. Its showing them that you value yourself and your time and you actually want to give things some thought before rushing into things again. If youd like to go the extra mile, you can also let them know that you plan to use this time to reflect on what happened in the relationship so that you could learn from it and be a better person. Now you might be thinking: wow, thats pretty straight-forward. I dont even know how Id say all that.
Well, in an ideal world, you would say this the moment theyre have the talk with you. You know, when they start of saying things like, this isnt really working out for me, I need some time apart to think about things, etc That would have been the perfect time to do it. So if youre still on and off and you sense the talk coming, heres what to say: You know what, Im glad you brought that up because Ive been thinking the same thing for a long time now and its probably the best thing to do Now if youre thinking wow, Im already way past that point. Ive already called them a bunch of times and sent them a bunch of texts. I dont know how Id even say this after everything I did. Itd seem kind of weird or out of character No worries. Papa Kevins got your back ;) Heres an exact word-for-word template that you can use without agonizing over what to say or how to say it. I call it:
The Resistance Remover

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hey ___, Im sorry I acted a little crazy the other day. What you said just kind of took me by surprise. I know it shouldnt have because Ive actually been thinking about taking some time apart as well but I guess when push came to shove, I just kind of lost it. Anyways, Ive thought a lot about what you said and I agree that breaking up is probably the best thing for both of us right now. Best wishes, Your first name >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The Best Way To Use This Template

There are a lot of different ways that you can use this message. Personally, I would recommend writing a short hand-written letter. Theres something much more thoughtful and personal about this than just a simple text or email (especially if youve already tried those methods in the past ). If you did, it makes it way too easy for your ex to just glance over it and quickly categorize with everything else you did. Plus, theres a million other things on their phone that are literally a click away. Writing a handwritten letter is a good way of standing out and making a real impression on them. Plus, youll know theyre actually devoting their attention to what youre saying when they receive it, rather than having it go in one ear and out the other in between a bunch of other texts and emails. Overall, I think theyll be much more open and receptive to it in this format. However, if you dont want to do that, you can also send it as a text, email or even a facebook message. You can really use it however you want. At the end of the day, the format you choose wont make or break it. Just like this one message alone wont make or break your relationship. As great as this message is, it cannot single handedly fix a broken relationship. The goal of this message is to remove the resistance they have towards you and have them see you as a whole and separate individual that is actually reacting maturely and giving this stuff some thought (rather than just acting out of desperation). In other words, this message is meant to position you as an equal (rather than a codependent emotional wreck that just keeps on pestering them) Look, shit happens and sometimes we get really emotional and totally lose our cool. However, if you can acknowledge it and own up to it, you can recover from it. Thats what this message is designed to do. Its designed to help you regain respect in their eyes (and hopefully itll help you regain some self-respect as well).
However, I want you to keep in mind that this message is just the opening move Its like the first chess move. You dont win the game with this. Theres tons of factors beyond this message that are totally beyond my control (and probably beyond your control as well). After all, your chess pieces only compromise half the game pieces. In any case, this is a great starting point to help you get your foot in the door and open up a means of communication with them. Thats why I call it the opening move Its just a way to open things up in a way where you can actually talk about it. That way, if it is truly meant to be, youll have a way to revive the relationship. After all, the last thing I want to do is have someone lose something special because they didnt know how to handle themselves in the face of overwhelming emotions. Thats really the only reason I even shared this stuff with you in the first place; to show you how to handle yourself in a much more mature and respectable way (as opposed to coming across as needy and desperate). By saying that you want some time to evaluate things too, it tips the scale a bit in your favor and puts you in a place of power. It reminds them (and yourself) that youre a perfectly whole and complete individual that could be fine with or without them. It also communicates the fact that you would only choose to invite them back into your life if you truly believed that it was in your best interest. In a lot of cases, it usually isnt, though thats a really hard thing for most people to accept (even though deep down they realize that their ex is not really good for them). Unfortunately, most people have to learn this the hard way. As they say, you can lead the horse to the water but you cant make it drink. I did my best to lead you down what I believe to be the most constructive path based on my experience. However, what you choose to do from here is totally up to you.
Whatever you do, make sure you decide from a place of POWER (not desperation) Remember, the secret is to be happy on your own (with or without your ex) You have to be willing to let them go if you ever want them to come back. PS: if you know that your ex is not the right person for you and you know you need to move on, please just completely disregard this section. I battled with myself while I was writing this section because I didnt want to lead people on or give them false hope. The only reason I ultimately decided to share this message was because I wanted to give people a way to open up the communication again in a casual, non-invasive way. When I first started helping people, I wouldnt actually tell them what to say. I would just tell them to cut contact and move on. However, I realized that very few actually listened. Over time, I realized that people were going to try to contact their ex one way or another might as well give them a better way to do it. With that said, if you dont want to be with them, just let go and move on with your life. You can still send them that message if you want, just dont go wishing and hoping that you end up getting back together. Because chances are, you wont. Why? Because people break up for a reason. Whats done is done and you need to accept it and move on. Just focus on the first 10 pages of this section where I was talking about why theyre acting so cold and distant right now. Now that you have a better understanding of the situation and you realize that theyre ahead of you in the recovery process, your expectations will change. Hopefully, youll no longer expect them to act the same way, which will give you some more peace of mind. By the way, if youre interested in learning more about where your relationship went off course and what you could have done to save it, I have another course that you may find helpful. Its called:
Why Your Ex Left (And What You Need to Learn From It)
This course will give you an inside-look at what went wrong in your relationship, what you can learn from it, and what to do so you dont end up repeating the same mistakes in your future relationships. It also goes much deeper into why men just suddenly leave disappear out of the blue and how to become the kind of woman that no man would EVER want to leave. I also cover why women suddenly lose attraction and start acting cold and distant in a relationship (and what you can do to KEEP her interest so that she never gets bored and leaves you for someone else). Its important to know why your relationship ended regardless of whether you want to get over your ex or get them back. If you want to get back together, you have to know the REAL reasons you guys broke up so that you can actually have a chance of resolving the things that tore you apart. Without this, you dont stand a chance of actually getting them back (let alone rebuilding the relationship and actually making it last) If you dont want them back and you just want to learn from your mistakes so that you know what to do in the future, Id highly recommend checking it out too. After all, its better to learn from it now so that you dont make the same mistakes in the future. Heres the link where you can download the course =>www.WhyYourExLeft.com In case youre wondering how a course like this can possibly tell you what went wrong in your relationship, I just want to make it clear that this is not just a regular course. Its more than just a series of videos and eBooks it actually gives you specific messages that you can send to your ex to get them to tell you the real reason why they left. Youre really going to like one of them in particular, called The Reason Revealer Its a bit longer than the one I shared in this section but its even more powerful. The one I shared in this section is great because it levels the playing field. However, your ex may not always respond to this message (after all, theres nothing in it that really evokes a need for them to reply to you). Its a lot more subtle and under the radar However, The Reason Revealer message actually asks them to give you a reason for the break up in a really casual and non-invasive way.
It took me a while to phrase it just right but now it works like a charm. Once you read it, youll beat yourself up for not thinking of it yourself. Check it out here => www.WhyYourExLeft.com

If you want more in-depth advice based on your specific situation, just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] After you reach out to us, my assistant will get back to you to schedule a time for us to talk. Once we get on the phone, Ill help you see through all the confusion and figure out what you should do. Disclaimer: due to the overwhelming amount of requests I get, I cannot personally talk to everyone that wants my advice. However, we always get back to people within 24-48 hours so go ahead and reach out to us and my assistant will let you know what times I have available. Im usually pretty booked up but even if Im totally booked for the week, they should still be able to get you in pretty soon. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
Section 3:
Kicking Your Ex Off the Pedestal

In this section, I want to talk to you about something thats really important for you to do after a break up in order to get a more clear and level-headed way of thinking. The thing you have to do is kick your ex off the pedestal The reason this is so important is because after a break up, we tend to over-idealize our partner (and our relationship as a whole). We think back to all the great times we had and all the amazing things about the relationship. The reason we do this is because we actually have a psychological bias in our mind that causes us to focus on all the positive aspects of what we dont have. For example, Im sure you heard the quote that says You never really know what you got till its gone Or The grass is always greener on the other side Both of these are really popular and even somewhat clich sayings. However, the reason theyre so popular is because theyre so universal to the human condition. They describe a phenomenon that we ALL experience at one point or another. The core idea behind both of these quotes is that: We have a tendency of over-idealizing the things we dont have. This applies in all areas of our life and it also comes into play right after a breakup. Now, Im not sharing this stuff with you just to give you some more clich quotes that youve already heard. Not at all. The reason Im sharing this with you is because I want to prevent you from falling under this spell
If you do, youll end up making a big mistake that is really counterproductive to your healing. And that is: Looking at the relationship through rose-colored glasses. Instead of doing that, I want you to see the relationship for what it actually is. I want to help you see things from a more balanced perspective; a perspective that is not clouded by the fear of loss. In order to actually do that though, you have to counteract the unconscious bias thats causing you to focus on all the good things about the relationship. By the way, we ALL do this. So even if youre reading this and thinking Im not doing that you still are. You just dont know that youre doing it because its unconscious (which means that you dont even see it, you think its just the way it is) Its not. Theres another side to the equation that youre not seeing it because youre so clouded by the feelings of longing and desperation. To counteract this tendency, you have to focus on the flaws. Both the flaws of your ex and the flaws in your relationship. You need to force yourself to focus on the things that were NOT so great (at least temporarily) If you dont do this, you are just going to stay stuck in a cycle of rosy retrospection where youre dwelling over some idealistic vision of the relationship that isnt really true. If you stop and look at the relationship as a whole, youll realize that the way youre thinking right now is not really an accurate reflection how things really were. Youre just holding on to a romanticized ideal of how things used to be (and youre probably still holding on to the hope that you can eventually get things back to that) Now, the problem here isnt hope the problem is nave hope. A nave persistence even in the face of overwhelming odds to the contrary (ie: your ex ignoring you, mistreating you, or letting you know that it really is over) And yet, we still cling to the hope of reconciling.
Thats what I mean by nave hope; clinging to the hope that things can change when you really have no reason to believe that they will. Now, in some cases, our ex is the one thats responsible for making us think that way. Sometimes they send us mixed signals and lead us to believe that there is still hope. So when you hear things like you need to let go of the hope of things ever changing you might feel some resistance and think well, they said this or that so I dont know If thats the case, then what you really need help with right now isnt necessarily how to kick your ex off the pedestal but how to see through mixed signals and figure out where you two really stand. Since thats such a unique thing thats specific to your situation, the best way to figure that out is to book a private Relationship Clarity session with me. In this session, Ill help you see through the mixed-signals and figure out if they still have feelings for you. Ill also help you figure out if theres still a chance of making it work. Heres how it works: Well jump on a private call together, youll give me the full story of how it happened and Ill help you figure out exactly what to do next. I can even interpret each individual text and email with you and help you understand what they mean and what you should do. After our session, youll leave with a lot more clarity, knowing exactly what to do next. To book a Relationship Clarity session with me, just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] After you reach out to us, my assistant will get back to you within 24-48 hours to setup a time for us to talk. If you want to get some clarity on your situation immediately, Ive actually developed an entire course on this exact topic. Its called Can Your Relationship Be Saved? This course is comprised of a series of videos and eBooks just like this, as well as an in-depth relationship assessment that I use with all my private clients to help them figure out if theres still a chance of saving the relationship.
The reason its so important for you to figure this out is so that you can finally get some kind of closure. Without it, youll just end up being stuck in the uncertainty cycle forever, torn being moving on and getting back together. Hell, you may even waste weeks, months, and sometimes YEARS of your life waiting around on someone that really had no intention of ever getting back together with you. This course will help you make sense of their behavior and see through any mixed-signals they may be giving you. Ill show you exactly what to look for to figure out if they still want to be with you. Ill also give you the 2 critical signs that you need to pay attention to so you dont end up wasting your time with someone who doesnt want to be with you. Most people are totally nave to these signs. In fact, they usually just end up brushing them off completely because the truth isnt pretty. However, Im not concerned with saying whats pretty, Im only considered with giving you the truth. And thats exactly what Im going to give you in this course. Warning: this is NOT for the faint of heart. This is only for the people who actually value themselves enough to finally get this thing figured out. If youre okay with living in a state of constant confusion, reading into every little thing they do, wondering if theres still a chance this is not for you. This is only for people who want to know the truth. If you want to learn more details about this course, send us an email at [email protected] Whats really sad is that Ive actually seen some people get this course and see all the signs and yet they STILL continue to hold on to the hope of getting back together. Its sad, really. So many of us want so desperately for it to work that were willing to brush off all the red flags and cling to this fantasy image in our mind. If you can relate to what Im saying, its time to stop being irrational and start seeing things clearly. Easier said than done, right? Not to worry though because Im going to help you break this pattern on the next page.
Getting Perspective
If you ever want to regain your peace of mind and sanity, you have to stop idealizing your relationship and start seeing things for what they really are. In order to do that, you need to focus on the flaws. By the way, this is exactly what your ex did as well. unconsciously. Remember, in the last section I talked about how they emotionally distanced themselves over time? Well, this is exactly how they did it. Over time, they became more and more focused on all the reasons they werent happy in the relationship. All they saw was how it wasnt working for them and how it wasnt really giving them what they want and need. And the more they focused on that, the more it became the reality for them. Remember: where your attention goes, energy flows. When you choose to direct your focus to something, it expands. This is a universal truth and it also applies to your relationship. As they thought more and more about how they werent really happy in the relationship, they found even more reasons to be unhappy. It has a vicious snowball effect over time because theyre constantly focused on what they dont like, rather than what they do like and what they can do to improve the relationship. If youre still not convinced that this is what actually happened behind the scenes in your relationship, think of this way: No one ever leaves a relationship thinking Im so madly in love with this person, I really value what we have and I am willing to do whatever it takes to preserve our bond and connection Not quite.
They usually leave in a state of hopelessness, feeling like I cant do this anymore! They dont understand me! Nothing I say gets through to them! See what I mean? That shift in focus has to happen, otherwise they wouldnt be able to bear the idea of leaving you. It would be way too painful for them to do it if they didnt already go through this process internally. Make sense? So what I want you to do is actually go through the same experience they went through before they decided to break up with you. Remember: if youre the one that got dumped, youre in a radically different state of mind than they are right now. When youre in this state, theres no way that you can possibly understand whats going on in their mind (or even see the relationship for what it really is) Once you go through this process yourself, you will get an understanding of the process they went through and why there seems to be this hidden gap between the two of you. It will also give you a better understanding of the relationship and what to do if you do decide to get back together. But, I think that going through this exercise will make you realize that this relationship really wasnt working for you either. Because if it got to the point where you guys broke up, then it probably happened for a reason. After all, people breakup for a reason. Like I said earlier, no one ditches something thats working for them. No one leaves something thats perfect. You dont throw away precious diamonds, you throw away trash. Now, Im not saying that your relationship is trash; Im just saying that it probably wasnt quite what you are making it out to be right now. And its definitely not what you think it is in your exs eyes (otherwise they wouldnt want to leave you!) So its time to get real Its time to focus on the flaws of the relationship so that you can actually see it for what it is, warts and all.
Focus on Their Flaws

In the meantime, I want you to focus on all the flaws of the relationship and all the ways that it wasnt really giving you what YOU want. By the way, if youre in a situation where you already know that the relationship isnt good for you but you find yourself backpedaling back into the relationship, or giving in when your ex comes back around saying they love you or miss you or are still thinking about you, this is extremely important. You have to make sure you focus on the flaws in the relationship in order to give yourself the strength to hold your ground and not get sucked back if they decide to come back. If you dont do this, youll just keep getting suckered back every time they come back around. To make sure this doesnt happen to you again, Im going to share a special technique at the end of this section called The Focus Shifter Before I do that though, I want to share a little saying with you that I always share with my clients in my private practice: Stop drinking poison and trying to convince yourself its medicine And a lot of people do just that they know a relationship isnt working, they know its toxic and dysfunctional. In fact, they know that as soon as they get back with that person, they are going to live in a state of overwhelming stress and anxiety that will totally CONSUME their entire life and yet they do it anyway. They just keep drinking the poison and convincing themselves its medicine. Why? Because theyre ADDICTED! We may not realize it but love can be very addicting at times. And what do you do when youre addicted? You do whatever you can do to sustain your addiction. Guess what makes that addiction even worse?
The romanticized memory you have in your mind of how good things used to be. We cling to that with all our might and convince ourselves that were going to find a way to get that back. But sometimes you cant find a way to get back to that because of all the reasons that piled up and caused you two to break up in the first place. I want you to spend a little bit of time contemplating what those reasons may be. But even more importantly, I want you to contemplate the reasons why YOU dont want this relationship. I know youre still in love with your ex so this might be something that you dont want to do right away. In fact, you might even be a little resistant to it at first. However, its really important for you to push that aside for now and just do this exercise because itll help you see the relationship for what it really is. Until you actually see it for what it is, you wont be able to make an educated decision on whether you really want to get them back or not. Your natural urge will be to try to get them back because you have an over-idealized image of them in your mind thats skewing your judgment. If youve already decided that its best to move on, this will serve you even more. Why? Because you need to balance out that skewed image that you have in your mind of how things used to be. As long as you have that over-idealized image in your head, youre not going to be able to truly move on with your life. You might be able to take a few steps forward but its going to feel like youre constantly fighting an uphill battle. And that uphill battle is really against your own mind. So if you really want to get over your ex and move on with your life, its really important to make this shift. See this break up as an opportunity to get rid of something that was weighing you down in life. If you see it this way, you will embrace the change with open arms and view it as something positive that is happening in your life. Youll see it as an opportunity to break free from all the pain and hurt that this relationship was causing you. Once you get there, things will be infinitely easier for you.
So thats the big quantum shift that you need to make. Remember: your ex has already made this shift (otherwise they wouldnt have left you) They reached a breaking point where they were just like I cant do this anymore! Well, I want you to reach that same breaking point too. And the special technique that Im about to share with you will help you do that. Its called:
The Focus Shifter

Heres how to do it You start by realizing that its not really your ex that youre missing, its who you thought they were See, youre not just missing a person here youre also missing a concept. A concept of who you thought they were and what you thought you had (which in most cases, is not something that is even worth missing in the first place). However, due to all the psychological biases that come up in the face of loss, its tempting to paint things out in a glorious light. Since your unconscious tendency after a break up is to paint your ex out to be better than they really are, the only way you even stand a chance of regaining your sanity is by CONSCIOUSLY directing your focus on their flaws. Because you have a natural inclination to exaggerate all the good things about your ex after they leave, its absolutely crucial that you counteract this tendency by going to the other extreme to exaggerate all the bad stuff so that you can balance it out One of the most important things you need to do is stop thinking that your ex was a one of a kind person. Yes, I know that technically they are because were all special little snowflakes but no matter how special he or she was, the next guy or girl will also be very special in their own unique way. So what you need to do is take this sudden urge you have to see all the ways they're unique and direct it towards finding all the ways that they're uniquely flawed.
This will make it much easier for you to move on with your life since you wont be constantly beating yourself up for losing the best thing you ever had (this is especially common in cases of first love) So instead of only remembering the positive aspects of the relationship and dismissing all the negatives, youre going to have to ignore ALL the positive things for now and remember ONLY the negative. Pretend that youre an artist and youre limited to using only dark and depressing colors when painting this particular painting. Shift your focus on all the ways YOU werent happy with them just like they've done with you. Focus on all the things that disqualify them from someone that you would like to be in a long-term relationship with. Rather than feeling inadequate for not meeting their expectations, challenge yourself to see all the ways that they didnt meet YOUR expectations. Theres many ways to do this but the simplest way is to take out a piece of paper and just let loose. So go ahead and grab a piece of paper and start listing all the reasons you dont want to be with your ex.
Create a Reasons Why I Dont Want to Be With My Ex List

Take an honest look at your ex and acknowledge all the bad things about them. Focus on all the inadequacies and really narrow in on them in great detail. You can start with something like I cant believe I put up with ___, ____, and ___ I hate ____, ____, and ___ They arent really the kind of person I want to be with because of __, __
Here are the 2 guidelines to follow when doing this exercise: 1) Be relentless and make it as descriptive as possible 2) Feel free to exaggerate all you want to make your point You had no problem glorifying all the good qualities about them before so you shouldnt have any difficulty exaggerating the bad qualities either. Example: if your ex had a bad temper, you can exaggerate the hell out of it by writing something like Shes so hot-headed that she blows up over every little fucking thing. Its outright dysfunctional and I cant possibly imagine how anyone could be in a relationship with her. Im glad we broke up so I dont have to put up with her shit anymore, I cant imagine how miserable Id be if I had to deal with that for the rest of my life. PS: this is actually a little excerpt that I wrote myself after a break up I went through. The key here is to do whatever it takes to make it as emotionally compelling as possible. Here are the 2 outcomes youre aiming for: 1) You want your list to be so emotionally charged that every time you read over it, you are literally filled with DISGUST 2) You want your list to sound so horrible that you would have to be completely out of your mind to even CONSIDER wanting to be with them again I shared a brief example of how I applied this in my own life above. However, the real magic happens when you go through this process yourself. The amount of relief you get from this exercise depends on how deep youre willing to dig to discover all the things that you despise about your ex. So challenge yourself to get ruthless and drill down to all the juicy personal stuff. I know this may sound a little extreme at first and a part of you may be thinking that this is too harsh. You may not want to think so negatively about your partner and be so blatantly disrespectful to them.
While I can understand your concern, you have to remember that: This exercise is NOT meant to be degrading to your ex its meant to be relieving for you! You are NOT doing this to them you are doing this for you!
Theyre never going to see what you write in this exercise so dont worry about hurting their feelings or having anyone judging you for being a bitch or an asshole. Feel free to get brutally honest here. Let it all out and dont hold anything back. Remember, youre not just writing them off as a bitch or an asshole for the rest of your life. Youre simply focusing on the things that will bring you relief right now. You can always go back later and remember all their good qualities, as well as all the great times you had together. But focusing on all that stuff right now will only make it worse so its absolutely critical that you focus on all the bad stuff first in order to help you get some momentum. After that, youll be able to revisit the relationship from a much more neutral and balanced perspective. 3) The third and MOST IMPORTANT step of this exercise is to re-read all the bad things about your ex in order to reprogram your mind. This will train your mind to associate negative experiences to your relationship and it will make it easier for you to move on. Heres an example of a belief that I associated to being in a relationship with my ex Im glad its over because being in a relationship with her will do nothing but cause me a lot of unnecessary pain, stress, and suffering and ultimately make me miserable. Plus I can do a lot better than her anyways. If you feel like this belief would help you get over it, feel free to adopt it. If you feel that another belief will do a better job of helping you through this, then I encourage you to write it down and use it. The secret to making this work though is repetition.
You have to read it over and over to truly reprogram your mind, otherwise it wont really help you. Doing it once will make you feel better but it wont actually lead to a permanent change. After you make this list, put it in your wallet or purse and carry it around with you at all times. Anytime you catch yourself drifting off and thinking about them, just read it over again to get your head on straight.
How to Fall Out of Love with Your Ex

If you truly want to move on, you have to fall out of love with your ex. Now, I'm not saying that you can just magically flip off a switch and simply not care about them anymore. Not at all. A part of you will love them and care about them no matter what you do. However, you can fall out of love with them. In other words, you can still love them and care about them but not see them as someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. This idea is categorized by that clich break up line we hear all the time: I love you but Im just not in love with you anymore While this phrase can frustrate many of us to no end, it also highlights a special phenomenon that happens in relationships. What theyre basically saying is this: "Although I still love and care about you, I really don't see you as the kind of person that I want to spend be in a relationship with for the rest of my life with Fair enough, right? Sometimes you just dont know that until actually spending time with someone. However, we usually dont see it that way. Why?
Because were too emotionally invested to really see things objectively. We usually get triggered and start acting all defensive, trying to figure out what they mean. Well, let me help you translate what they mean: They still love and care about you theyre just not in love with you anymore. A person can fall out of love with someone for a variety of reasons. 1) They can fall out of love because they discover that they are fundamentally incompatible with one another and want different things. 2) They can fall out of love with you because you guys just cant seem to communicate together 3) Or they can fall out of love with you if they just have far too many negative experiences with you and see no hope of things getting better When I say negative experiences, I dont mean mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and mistakes can easily be forgiven. However, when they are too great in number or happen way too frequently, it can chip away at the love in the relationship. Like I said, Im not saying that a switch just flips off and they suddenly stop loving you. What happens is that another switch flips on simultaneously saying: "Although I still love and care about this person, I dont know if I really want to be in a relationship with them for the rest of my life I can't help you pinpoint exactly WHY that switch flipped on for your ex without talking to you personally. However, what I can do is give you a technique that will help you flip the same switch so that you can start to fall out of love with your ex. Ill share this with you on the next page PS: if you want to talk to me personally to figure out what made your fall out of love, just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] You can also check out my advanced course on Why Your Ex Left, which reveals the 10 most common reasons that cause people to break up (and what you can learn from it).
The goal of this course is to help you learn what went wrong in your relationship so that you actually have a chance of rebuilding it. Or, if you dont want to rebuild it, you can use this knowledge to make sure that you dont make the same mistakes in the future. You can download the course here => www.WhyYourExLeft.com
How To Fall Out of Love with Your Ex

In this section, Im going to share another really powerful technique that you can use to fall out of love with your ex. This technique stems from NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) and it actually simulates the exact same process your ex went through prior to breaking up with you. The technique is designed to help you disassociate from all the good memories of your relationship and associate it with all the bad ones. Yet, when a relationship ends, we often do the exact opposite. We tend to only see the good things and ignore all the reasons why the relationship ended in the first place. We get tunnel vision and we paint out this fairy tale fantasy of how great things used to be (when it usually wasn't even all that great). We just think it is because its gone. This is just a natural tendency of human nature and the exercise Im about to share on the next page will help you overcome it.
A Simple 3 Step Process for Falling Out of Love with Your Ex

Step 1) - Think of your ex and make a movie of all the happy times you had together Think of all the good memories and enter those memories and experience them as if they are happening right now in the view of the first person Now take those memories and view them through the third person perspective. Make the image very small and push it off into the distance. Keep making it smaller and smaller and keep pushing it further and further away. As you notice the image drift far off into the distance, notice how you feel less and less like that image. Keep pushing that image away until it finally disappears.
Step 2) - Now imagine all the bad times you had with your ex and make a movie of all the fights and arguments. Remember all the negatives feelings you had and feel them as if it was happening right now. Remember all the anger, disgust, and disappointment that you felt towards them and how it felt to be around them. Step into those memories and experience it in the first person. Experience all of the bad memories you had with her as vividly as possible and remember all the things they did that really pissed you off. Bring this image closer and closer to you and keep reliving the experience and feeling it in the first person. Repeat this step over and over until you get really sick of them.
Step 3) - Imagine a future where you are free from all of these horrible memories. Notice how happy you are to finally be able to move on with your life and leave all this stress and drama behind. Imagine how liberating it will be to live life without any of this stuff weighing you down anymore. Notice how much more light and free you feel already knowing that this toxic relationship is finally coming to an end.
Section 4:
Should I Try to Get My Ex Back Or Should I Just Move On?

Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here. I hope the last section has given you a much more balanced and accurate perception of what your relationship was actually like (rather than the romanticized fairytale that you created in your head) Now that youre seeing things from a more balanced perspective, its time to address the number one biggest question that people have after a breakup: Should I Try to Get My Ex Back or Should I Just Move On? Before I begin to discuss this, I want you to realize that this is a very loaded question. Like any choice of this magnitude, there are a lot of different factors to consider. Here are a few things that you should consider: 1. Why did you guys break up in the first place? Do you know the real reason why you broke up or did they give you a vague excuse? 2. Do you feel like the issues in your relationship are resolvable? 3. Do you feel like you guys were truly compatible with one another? 4. Did you both want the same thing for your future? 5. Were you able to communicate effectively with one another? 6. Were you able to truly understand one another in times of conflict or were you too triggered to truly hear the other person and understand their feelings? 7. Were you able to handle conflicts effectively and come to a mutual understanding despite your differences or were one of you too proud and stubborn?
Theres lots of other factors to consider as well, these are just a few questions to get you started. I know I laid them on you right away in the very beginning but I would recommend spending some time thinking about them when youre done reading this section. Take out a journal and spend some time contemplating your answers to these questions. They will drill right to the heart of the matter and give you the clarity you need. Seriously, dont just read over these questions and then skip to the next part hoping to find some kind of magic answer laid out just for you, with 100% certainty. Id love to be able to do that for you but its simply not possible or at least not without talking to you personally and getting a better feel for your specific situation. Even that wouldnt give you 100% certainty. Id definitely be able to point you in the right direction after spending years helping people through similar situations. However, there is no 100% certainty in anything. I know thats common sense but Im just putting that out there so you know the reality of the situation. With that said, if you want some more in-depth advice based on your specific situation, Id suggest booking a Relationship Clarity session with me. In this session, Ill help you figure out whether your relationship can still be saved (and what to do if it cant). Heres how it works: Well jump on a private call together, youll give me the full story of what happened and Ill help you figure out what you should. I can even interpret each individual text and email with you and help you understand what they mean and how you should respond. Ill also help you see through any mixed-signals so you can figure out if they still have feelings for you. After your session with me, youll leave with a lot more clarity, knowing exactly what to do next. To book a Relationship Clarity session with me, just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
Like I said, the answer to whether you should stay or go is way beyond the scope of what I can cover in just this one section. And honestly, its beyond the scope of what I planned to cover in this course. In this course I promised to help you be happy on your own, with or without your ex. That way, youll be okay with yourself no matter what happens. To help you do that, I want to share a really powerful exercise that I use with my clients in my private practice. Its actually a very popular exercise that a lot of coaches and counselors use and it goes by a lot of different names. I call it:
The Worst Case Scenario Visualization

What this does is it helps you confront the worst case scenario so that you can mentally brace yourself for it. By doing this, you force yourself to find a way to cope with the situation if thats what it really came down to. In doing so, you realize that there are things that you can actually do to cope with it and losing them would not be the end of the world. The reason this is so effective is because it helps you dissolve your resistance and fear. One of the biggest reasons were so resistant to leaving the relationship is because its scary. Its scary to imagine our life without them and you might be afraid that youll never find someone like them again. Another reason that were so resistant leaving is because our sense of self is often so entangled with the person, that losing them means losing a part of our self. And our brain, our ego, our whole psychological structure naturally resists that change in order to keep things safe, comfortable and familiar. So what I found really helpful is actually confronting the worst case scenario proactively in order to get you to realize that it wouldnt really be the end of the world if it did end.
Sure, it may be very unpleasant to imagine right now but if you proactively confront the situation and force yourself to figure out what you would do if it were to happen, you will see that there are things you can actually do to deal with it. You wouldnt be totally lost and hopeless (though I know it often feels that way). The truth is: Life goes on no matter how bad it gets. Although you may not feel like it right now, you will be just fine without your ex. Sure, itll be difficult to adjust to your life without them and it will feel disorienting for a while. However, as you focus on yourself and re-establish new habits and routines, itll get easier. Dont get me wrong, itll take A LOT more than that to actually heal yourself. However, Ill share some of the exercises that I use with my private clients to help them accelerate their healing process. Heres one of them
Confronting The Worst Case Scenario

Heres how to do it. Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle to separate it into 2 columns. In the left-hand column, I want you to write out what your life will be like if you DO get back with your ex. In the right-hand column, I want you to write what your life will be like if you dont get back with your ex. Really think about this for a minute and imagine both possible outcomes. Are there any benefits to not having them in your life? Write those out too because that will help you see the positive side of the situation. (PS: it may even show you that things may actually be better without them in your life) Once you do this exercise, your whole perspective will change. After weighing the pros and cons, youll be much more detached from the situation and youll also have a lot more clarity on what to do. Remember, the natural reaction is to get triggered and start acting crazy.
So anything you can do to change your perspective and get yourself to see that this is not the end of the world will greatly improve your peace of mind and sanity. So think about both possible outcomes and then write out what you would actually DO in each case. Approaching it this way will make things seem much less devastating and overwhelming and it will also put you in a PROACTIVE state (as opposed to a reactive state). When youre in a reactive state, you are NOT in control of ANYTHING in your life. You are simply being pulled every which way by your emotions, like a pinball in a pinball machine. However, if you approach things from a proactive state, then you actually have control of your thoughts and feelings and ultimately your actions. Approaching things from a proactive state means that you are fully aware of all the intricate dynamics of the situation; you are able to recognize your thoughts and emotions (as well as the impact they are having on you in the present moment). And yet, you are also able to step outside of what you are feeling in this moment and see what CHOICES you actually have available to you right now. When you do this, you realize that you only a handful of things that you can actually DO right now. With this awareness, you choose the best possible course of action and patiently tread forward, with wisdom and understanding. In order to do this, you need observe whats going on for you as if you were hovering above yourself right now. Imagine that you are looking down at yourself as you read this and try to see the situation from a birds eye view. Now, do your best to approach things objectively and ask yourself: what can I actually do right now? You can sit here and fret about the past, thinking about all the things you did or wish you could have done. However, a part of you already knows that this will only hurt you more in the long run and keep you stuck in your suffering. You can day-dream about the future, hoping that your ex will eventually come to their senses and come crawling back to you. Hell, you can even make it all elaborate in your mind and imagine them coming to you and owning up to all their mistakes, apologizing for all their wrongdoings, telling you they love you and want nothing more than to be with you again.
You would then chime in and apologize for your half and all the issues that plagued your relationship would just magically dissolve right there and then and you would go on to live happily ever after without ever having to face them again. No matter how good that may to you sound right now, its very unlikely that itll actually happen. So betting your future on that (as well your present-moment sanity) is a losing game if you ask me. Why? Because its not within your control. Remember, the only person you can control is yourself. You have no control over your ex or their desire to be with you. Sure, you can do things that will make them miss you. Hell, you can even whip out all the manipulative tactics that people teach in all those get your ex back programs that you see on the internet to make your ex jealous and instill a fear of loss in them so that they talk to you again. However, the effects of those tricks are short-term. Sure, they may influence a primal part of their subsconscious mind as all the people boast about on their sales pages. However, they dont influence the most important thing which is your exs heart. What their heart wants to do is ultimately outside of your control. I know its a bittersweet truth but its the truth, and you have to learn to accept that. And the reason I shared this exercise with you is to help you accept that. So go back and work through this exercise and imagine your life with and without them. Write the pros and cons of both scenarios. Try to step outside of yourself and image yourself looking down on yourself from above. Look at the situation objectively and then determine what you can actually do from here. Do this a couple times if you have to. Each time you do it, the loss will seem less and less overwhelming. Remember, if you proactively confront the breakup and truly brace yourself for it, it wont have the power to derail you.
However, if you dont proactively confront it, youll end up reacting to it and then getting sucked into an automatic response. So do your best to confront it now and I promise that itll make it much easier for you to cope with it.

If you want more in-depth advice based on your specific situation, just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] After you reach out to us, my assistant will get back to you to schedule a time for us to talk. Once we get on the phone, Ill help you see through all the confusion and figure out what you should do. Disclaimer: due to the overwhelming amount of requests I get, I cannot personally talk to everyone that wants my advice. However, we always get back to people within 24-48 hours so go ahead and reach out to us and my assistant will let you know what times I have available. Im usually pretty booked up but even if Im totally booked for the week, they should still be able to get you in pretty soon. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
Section 5:
Letting Go
In this section, I want to talk about one of the most important steps in the healing process: letting go. This is a really hard thing for a lot of people to do because they just cant seem to imagine their life without their partner. Thats why I shared the worst case scenario exercise in the last section to help you mentally brace yourself for what would happen if this relationship really did end. So if you havent went through that exercise yet, make sure you do it before reading the information in this section. If youre one of those people that just likes to read stuff without actually doing any of the things suggested (dont worry, Ive been guilty of this myself too), then just let this be a friendly reminder to go back and do that part, okay? Its really important. The reason its so important for you to do that exercise first is because it takes you through a visualization process where you actually imagine your life with and without your ex. Once you do this, youll realize that youll be fine either way. I know you may not see that right now and I know the thought of that might be too scary for you to even imagine. However, eventually, youll realize that life does go on. In fact, it even becomes better in a lot of ways (assuming you make the conscious effort to reflect on what happened and learn from it). If you took the time to write all the pros and cons of staying with your ex and leaving, you may have realized that your life will actually be a lot more relaxing and stress-free without this relationship weighing you down. If you havent done that yet, make sure you go back to the last section and do that so that you are prepared for what Im about to share in this section. Okay, so in this section, were going to talk about letting go.
What To Do If You Know That Your Relationship Is Not Right For You If you already know that this relationship is not right for you, you need to move on with your life and never second-guess your decision. Ever. In order to do this, you need to reinforce all the reasons you dont want to have any part of this anymore (those are all the reasons you listed in section 3, assuming you did that) Once again, if you just read that part and didnt actually do the exercise in that section, its important that you go back and do that now. Itll be incredibly helpful for you. NOTE: every part of this course is strategically designed to build on one another and prepare you for the next section. If you skip over something, you may have some cognitive blocks to the next part of the process. If thats the case, youll probably find yourself resisting what Im saying in a later section because youre not mentally there yet (and thats okay). Just go back to the previous section and do the exercise to get your mind in the right place for the next one. It happens. BTW: if you ever revisit a previous and do the exercise in order to get your mind in the right place for the next one. What To Do If Youre Not Sure If This Relationship Is Right For You If youre not as confident in what to do yet, you need to take a break to let things sink in and really get some perspective. You need to let some time pass to make the fear of losing them settle down a bit. Give both yourself and your relationship a break. Dont get in your exs face and try to get answers out of them. That wont bring you any closer to getting them back. Give them the space to be. But even more importantly, give yourself the space to be. This is one of the most important things you can do right now. Why? Because its really hard to see reality as it is after a break up. You need to give yourself some space to really step back and reflect on the relationship objectively to see what was working and what wasnt. Theres a common saying that says, Hindsight is 20/20 Well, they say that for a reason. Its because you cant see things when youre too close to them. Its like a fish swimming in the water it doesnt see the water because its swimmi ng in it. However, if you took it out of the water, it would see things from a totally different perspective.
It would realize that theres an entire world out there that exists outside of the water. Well, the same thing applies here. A month from now, youll have a totally different perspective on this relationship. Youll have more clarity on the relationship as a whole and youll also have a better idea of whether you should just ditch it or try to rebuild it. And if you go through the second half of this program (as well as my program on Why Your Ex Left & What You Need Learn From It), youll also have a much better understanding of what actually happened in your relationship and what caused it to fall apart. Youll have even more clarity on these things 2 to 3 months from now if you follow all the exercises that I outline in this program. However, it all starts with getting some space and perspective. The reason its so important for you to get some space right now is two-fold. Part of the reason its so important is so that you can actually start to see things clearly. The second reason its so important is so that you can actually heal. Im sure youve heard the saying - love is like a drug Well, theres actually a lot of truth to that saying. If you study neuroscience and learn about whats actually going on with your brain chemistry when youre in love (which only psychology geeks like I do) youll see that your brain is actually under the influence of some really, really powerful emotions. When youre in love, it sets off certain chemical reactions in your brain that cause you to feel things and do things that you wouldnt normally do (almost as if you were under a spell). Now, dont get it twisted, Im not saying that love is a spell Im just using it as a metaphor here. The problem with being under a spell is that - when youre under it - you cant really see straight. Your thinking is clouded and your decision-making is compromised. Thats why so many people stay in abusive relationships, or toxic relationships that are downright horrible for them. Its because theyre under a love spell thats clouding their mind and preventing them from seeing things clearly.
You may have experienced this before from the other end if youve ever had to a friend come to you for advice in a time of distress. Perhaps they were in a relationship that wasnt going too well and theyve been hanging on their last straw for a few months now. They reached out to you for advice and you tried to set their head on straight. It took a while but you eventually got them to see things clearly. Perhaps they even realized what they needed to do now and they told you that it was probably best to just walk away and end the relationship. They walked away from the talk feeling a little better and more uplifted. And what happened next? Did they actually break up with their ex afterwards? Of course not! They ended up getting sucked back into all the drama and then they came back to you with another long, drawn-out story of how it all happened. Heres the short version of how and why it happened: love chemicals. Now, I realize that Im grossly oversimplifying things and talking about love in a very dry manner here. Theres obviously a lot more to it than just the psychological and physiological reactions that course throughout our bodies. Theres all those wonderful feelings that make us feel happy and alive, as well as all those special moments that make us feel seen and appreciated. I was simply approaching things from a more objective, scientific perspective in order to give you some perspective on the situation. Once you do, and once youre able to see the underlying factors at play here, youll be able to grasp the full scope of whats happening and youll also be much better equipped to deal with it. Before you can deal with it though, you need to see it for what it really is. For example, a doctor can only prescribe a treatment after taking a complete assessment. Thats why the first thing they do is ask you a bunch of questions to uncover the symptoms and then take a bunch of scans and x-rays to get to the true cause Well, the same thing applies here. So lets entertain this analogy that love is like a drug a bit further.
If love is like a drug, then the first step is to BREAK YOUR LOVE ADDICTION How? Well, first you need to understand what STRENGTHENS the addiction. Trying to be friends with your ex after the break up is one of the biggest things that makes things worse. Lots of people try to stay friends with their ex after a breakup in order to diminish that feeling of loss by keeping them around in some way shape or form. For some, its a disguised way of trying to get their ex back. For others, its a sincere way of preserving the friendship. After all, what you and your ex had was very special and you shouldnt just throw it away completely, right? WRONG Look, Im not saying that you should NEVER be friends with your ex not at all. In fact, Im actually friends with several of my exs now (and Im also in a relationship with another woman as well). In other words, Im able to not only be friends with my ex but Im also able to do so without it interfering with my current relationship. However, that could NOT be possible if I wasnt truly over her. If I tried to be friends with my ex immediately after the break up without ever really getting over her, all those feelings would have lingered on. She would continue to occupy a space in my heart and I would have probably never met anyone else because of that. Why? Because I would probably still be getting all of my emotional needs met by my ex and I wouldnt really have any incentive to go out and find someone new (especially if I was still having sex with my ex) And thats why so many people try to be friends with their ex. They want to keep the parts of the relationship that still work for them so they dont have to go through the pain of going out and finding someone else.
Some people think that by being friends with their ex, theyll somehow be able to keep them to themselves Plus, they think that over the time, theyll be able to get their ex to realize that they really are the right one for them. I used to think that too, and while its very sweet and romantic, its also very nave (and quite frankly, stupid). If you stay in their life as a friend they dont actually lose anything. And even more importantly If youre there as a friend you also dont give them anything to miss. If they still have you there for emotional support and they can continue to lean on you for anything they need, why would they ever need to get back together with you? If they know that you would drop everything for them (and they know you would), they really have no reason to want anything more. Why? Because youre already giving them all the privileges of being together without really being together. Think about it What would make them want you back if they already have you? Nothing! You have to give them something to miss in order for them to want you back If your goal is to get them back, you need to show them how it feels to actually lose you. Its sad but a lot of people dont really realize what they have until its gone. Once they actually experience what its like to lose you, theres a chance that they may experience many of the same emotions that you felt when they left you (I described these in great detail in section 1). However, you shouldnt do this with the hopes of them coming back to you. You should do this for yourself, in order to heal and move on. If you do it just to get them back (and they dont come back), then youre going to be very disappointed.
You Have to Be Willing to Walk Away

If youre confident in who you are and what you have to offer, walk away and let them experience what its like to be without you. If they decide that they want to come back to you, then you have your answer. If they dont, well then you have your answer as well. Now I know what youre thinking What if they dont come back? Then, the hell with them! If they dont value you enough to want to make this work with you then wh y should you want to be with them? Im sure there are a lot of good things about them but dont you want to be with someone who actually WANTS to be with you? Someone that makes you feel loved and appreciated. Someone that values you Someone that makes you feel safe Someone doesnt cause you to live on the edge, worrying that theyll leave and never come back. The answer to all of those questions is probably yes However, if answering yes to those things means that youll end up losing your ex, th e answer is immediately overridden and turned into a big fat NO Even though the first thing is much better for you in the long run, every part of you will fight it and try to preserve the relationship at all costs. Why? Once again, love chemicals. PS: Im not just saying this to be funny, Im 100% serious here. You are a love addict and your ex is your supplier.
So if you truly want to break the addiction, you need to cut out your supplier. After that, you have to treat the temporary symptoms of withdrawal. (And thats exactly what this program is designed to do) So heres the next step of the program You need to check yourself into Relationship Rehab And no, this is not an actual facility. Its just a clever little phrase I thought of to classify t he initial period of separation from your ex. I get that this is a catchy name and all but Im 100% serious here. You are addicted right now and you need to do whatever it takes to break this addiction. Well, the first step to breaking your addiction is to CUT CONTACT with your ex. I know this may not be what you want to hear but its something that you absolutely MUST do if you ever want to feel better ever again. Why? Because you cant break your addiction if you keep using the drug youre addicted to. Its like an alcoholic trying to break his alcohol addiction by only having a few drinks every night instead of downing the whole bottle. Is it an improvement? Sure. But is the problem gone? No. The same thing applies here. You will not be able to truly let go of this relationship until you decide to cut ALL forms of communication with your ex. As long as you stay in contact with them, all this chaos will continue to linger on in your life. Youll constantly be reading into what they said, what they did, and youll waste a lot of your time trying to figure out what you should do or say back to them. Not only that but youll also be wasting a lot of other peoples time by constantly talking about all this stuff with your friends and family, saying things like: I called them the other day but they didnt answer my call
I sent them a text the other day and they didnt respond. I texted them a few days later and then they responded. What does that mean? Do you think I still have a chance? What should I say or do? I saw them post so and so on facebook. Are they seeing someone else? What do I do? All this stuff is extremely DRAINING and its the perfect recipe for a life of never-ending stress and drama. You exert so much of your mental energy on this without even realizing youre doing it. Its like playing youre playing a never-ending game of chess and constantly thinking about your next move. You keep telling your friends about their past moves, asking for advice on your next move, etc. Talk about exhausting? And yet, we keep on doing it! Why? Because we want to do everything in our power to avoid the often inescapable reality: that the relationship is over. Its like being cornered in a game of chess and realizing that youre going to get beat no matter where you move your pawn. Sure, you can sit there all day long playing out all the different moves you can make, looking back on all your past moves thinking how if only you had moved that one piece this way instead of that way 3 moves back, you wouldnt be cornered into defeat right now. And while that may be true, at the end of the day, there comes a point where you have to just accept that youre cornered and call it quits. Same thing applies here. You can ask your friends for 101 opinions on what you should say but the sad truth of the matter is that its over and youre just wasting your own time by refusing to accept that. If your ex has already moved on and made it painfully clear that they dont want to be with you, theres nothing you can do. Until you truly accept the reality of the situation, youre just going to stay stuck in the same place trying to win an un-winnable game. Itll consume your life and itll eat away at all your time and energy.
This will eat away at your life until you decide to enter Relationship Rehab
Now, dont get weirded out, Im not telling you to check yourself in anywhere. When I say - Relationship Rehab - I am simply referring to an ex-free zone
However, since theres no physical facility thatll force you to break your addiction, it has to be something that you decide to do for yourself. It has to be a conscious commitment on your part. I cant force you to do this and no one else can either (unless they file a restraining order) You can read about The No Contact Rule online and I can talk about how crucial it is to your healing until Im blue in the face. However, after working with hundreds of people in my private practice, Ive learned that people wont actually cut contact with their ex until theyre ready to do it so Im not going to bother convincing you anymore. Instead, Im just going to outline the steps to follow whenever youre ready. With that said, heres the 3 step process for breaking your love addiction
The 3 Step Process for Breaking Your Love Addiction

The best way to overcome your love addiction is by going on a (s)he-tox A (s)he-tox is a commitment you make with yourself to get your drug out of your life for a certain period of time. In order for you to get your drug out of your life, you need to cut all forms of contact with your ex starting now. Step 1) - Determine the Length of Your (S)he-tox Numerous research studies have shown that it only takes 21 consecutive days to create a new habit. By the end of 30 days, it becomes an integrated part of your life and it becomes the new default behavior so to speak. In other words, you wont have to remember to do it or force yourself to do it, youll just naturally do it without having to think about it.
Step 2) - Determine the Conditions of Your (S)he-tox 1) How are you going to cut this drug out of your life? 2) What are you going to do to resist the temptation and cravings? I highly recommend you make a 30 day commitment with yourself to not seek your ex out personally or electronically. That means no hanging out with your ex, no talking, no calling, no texting, no emailing, no online chatting, no checking their facebook, no checking their myspace, no checking their twitter. Nothing. If you just texted them or checked their facebook a minute ago, its okay, its normal, its what we do. But right now, from this moment on, truly commit yourself to doing this for the next 30 days. Ideally, you will want to do it for 90 days, but right now, even a month would be a great start. If a month sounds too intimidating, start small. Simply commit to resisting all temptation for the next 24 hours. After that, congratulate yourself and commit to another day, and another, then a week, and finally a month. If you havent made an effort to cut all contact with your ex, this may sound a little ridiculous but if youve actually tried to do this before then you already know just how hard it really is. Ive found that unless youre strategic in your approach, its almost inevitable that youll slip up and eventually fall back into old patterns. Ive personally done this myself and I have to admit that it was probably one of the hardest parts of getting over my break up for me. I used a couple of different strategies to make it easier on myself and Im going to share them with you here. What Ive found is that the more you do to plan in advance to make it easier on yourself, the more likely you are to actually succeed. One of the best things you can do to do prepare to give you the most leverage - or the most results with the least effort - is to set the right conditions. This is a concept that I learned from one of my mentors, Eben Pagan. He calls this concept Inevitability Thinking
The essence behind this approach is to consciously create conditions in your life that will make what you want to have happen AUTOMATICALLY. With that said, the next step is to: Step 3) - Create the Conditions for Inevitable Success You have to determine what conditions youre going to set up in your life in order to succeed (and in order to avoid falling in to old patterns) In other words, set up your environment in a way that naturally minimizes the amount of temptation you have to face on a daily basis. Look, your brain is already making it hard enough for you as it is by thinking about them all the time. So what you want to do is avoid having anything else in your life thatll make it even more difficult on you. Make sense? So here are 4 steps that you can take to set up the right conditions for you to succeed with The No-Contact Rule.
4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success With The No-Contact Rule

1) Delete their phone number from your phone so that youre not tempted to call or text them (or even worse, drunk dial them) No, you dont need to keep it around just in case. Theyre not your responsibility anymore, get used to it. I know this might sound a little harsh but this is how seriously you need to approach this right now otherwise you wont have the self-restraint to actually avoid it when they do call and text you. And trust me, they will (especially if you start to move on with your life).
2) Avoid going to any places they might go to and avoid any social situations where you will be forced to see them. You can try to act like youre unaffected by it but itll backfire. You can try to hang out with your friends with your ex around and pretend youre cool with it but you will feel the tension in the air, its going to be awkward and you know it. Save yourself from learning this the hard way and just avoid it altogether. 3) Either delete your ex from facebook, or better yet, block them so that you dont get any reminders of them popping up in your newsfeed. Why do I suggest that you block them? Because if you block them, you wont be able to find them when you search their name in the search bar on the top left hand corner. Most people who unfriend their ex or just flat-out delete them still go on and compulsively search their ex to see what theyre doing. Although they may not be able to see as much without actually being friends with them, theyll still browse their profile from time to time just to see their pictures or see what theyre up to. This is a huge trap and it creates a lot of unnecessary complication. Thats why I recommend that you just block them you so you dont have to fight the temptation to do this. Most people dont know any other way of dealing with it so they just flat-out DELETE or DEACTIVATE their facebook account altogether (which is a really stupid thing to do). Think about it. Youre totally cutting out a part of your life because of your ex. That very act alone is letting them have control over you. Youre changing your habits and youre preventing yourself from doing something that you would normally do just because theyre not in your life anymore. Thats silly. You shouldnt have to do that. You shouldnt have to stop using social networking sites altogether and go MIA from all your friends and family just because someone broke your heart. Reclaim your power and delete them from your life so that you can use all these things freely without having to constantly be hijacked by thoughts of your ex.
No, you dont need to keep them as a friend just in case. It doesnt serve you any purpose in your life whatsoever. All it would do is force you to see new pictures of them in your newsfeed and all their status updates. And who knows, if it gets the best of you and you end up clicking on their profile you might even end up seeing them flirting with someone else. Or even worse, you might find out that theyre actually in a relationship with someone else. And trust me, thats NOT what you want to see. So just delete them and move on, got it? 4) Delete any other kind of digital trace of your ex; delete their names off aim, skype, twitter, msn, etc. Dealing with a break up in the digital age is tricky. There are literally hundreds of reminders of them within just 1 tiny click of the mouse (or even on your phone). Think about that for a sec You are literally carrying a reminder of them in your pocket at all times; the very same tool you used to communicate with them in the past. If you think about it, you probably used your phone to communicate with them more than you did with anyone else. So just the very act of using your phone is enough to remind you of them. And these days people are really attached to their phone. Anytime youre sitting around bored or you just find yourself missing them, you can easily take it out and get your fix (whether thats by texting them or by checking up on them online) Unfortunately, this doesnt really serve you. In fact, it just furthers your addiction. You have to cut this habit out of your life and learn to live your life without them. Sure, you may be technically living your life without them. Yet, if youre engaging in this kind of behavior then theyre still running your life even though theyre technically no longer in it. You have to learn how to deal with or else theyll end up running your life forever. Unfortunately, dealing with a break up in the digital age is such a new phenomenon that its not really talked about anywhere.
Its a new challenge that has evolved as a result of the evolution in our culture and our technology. And we too must evolve with it in order to rise above it. The reason I shared this was to give you some context for this problem and also help you have some compassion for yourself. Youre not alone in this and youre surely not the only one whos ever had a hard time getting over a break up with the added complexities of technology. Very few people (if any) are able to move on with their life without running into this particular challenge. So step 1 is to be patient with yourself. Realize that this is a natural part of the process and youre not a weak person for stalking your ex online. Youre also not a weak person for knowing that its not going to do you any good to go online and check their profile, only to end up doing it anyway and feeling worse about it afterwards. If youre like most people, youll also end up beating yourself up for giving in to that urge. Look, you cant overcome that urge with just willpower alone. Yet, thats what most people try to do. Most people try to leave it up to that present-moment decision, hoping theyll have the power to resist the urge and do the right thing. Yet, emotions and old habits usually trump the best of intentions. In that moment, you are much more likely to give in to your impulses than you are to act rationally and exercise control over your impulses. So rather than beating yourself up for being weak in those moments, I suggest you take some time to create a strategy for what to do in those moments. If you rely on willpower alone, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You need to have a game-plan in place so you know exactly what to do. On the next page, Im going to give you a proven strategy that has worked for me and thousands of other people.
Its not a magic pill so you cant expect it to eliminate the urge altogether. However, it will give you something specific that you can actually do in those moments where you feel that urge. So theres 2 components to this technique Part 1 is the commitment Part 2 is the application I can give you a strategy that will help you with the application part of it. However, your commitment is what will ultimately determine whether you apply this strategy on a consistent basis or not. Ive done my best to help you realize the importance of making this commitment with yourself. And hopefully by now you realize why its so important for you to cut contact with your ex (especially if theyve already made it clear that they want to break up with you) If thats the case, do both of yourselves a favor and move on. Engaging in one draining conversation after another is NOT going to change anything. By the way, if one of the reasons that youre still trying to keep in contact with them is because you still want to be friends with them, you have to realize that youre NOT in the place to be able to be friends with them right now. You need to take this time to yourself to cut contact and truly heal if you ever want to be friends with them later. Trying to be friends with them before youre truly over them is only going to hurt you more in the long run. I talk about this more in my advanced course, The Breakthrough Breakup Method If youre refusing to cut contact with them because you dont want to miss on that sense of friendship and companionship, take out a list and write down several other people in your life that can offer you friendship and companionship. Yes, I realize that it wont be the same flavor of companionship that your ex gave you but it also wont come with all the stress and confusion that comes with your exs companionship.
Plus, if you really look at the situation objectively, youll realize that most of the conversations that you try to have with your ex are probably not purely for the companionship anyway. If youre really honest with yourself, youll realize that most of it (if not all of it) is to try to figure out your relationship status and see if theres still a chance. Like I said earlier, this is very unlikely to happen if theyve already moved on. Plus, its only going to make it harder for YOU to move on. Isnt it hard enough already? Why do you insist on making it even harder on yourself? Instead of making it harder on yourself, I suggest you cut them out your life and do a complete (s)he-tox From this day forward, I want you to enter an ex-free zone I call it Relationship Rehab If you dont like that name, you can call it whatever you want to call it. The most important part is that you actually follow it. To help you do that and to make sure that you actually follow it I created a powerful tool called: The No Contact Contract Ill explain this a bit more on the next page, but basically, its a promise that you make to me - and ultimately to yourself. Its a promise to cut your ex out of your life and refrain from all communication with them. Everyone thats printed out this contract, filled it out and used it the way I told them to has told me that it has helped them immensely. Not only were they able to resist contacting their ex, but they had a strategy in place for those weak moments where it was really, really tempting to call or text them. The sad truth is that if you dont have some sort of strategy in place to deal with the temptation, youre going to cave in and give in to your temptation.
I know I have. Human nature is very feeble, especially if you dont have a deeper commitment that you can tap into to override that temptation you feel in the moment. And thats why I created this tool; to help facilitate that deeper commitment for you. So go ahead and read it over on the next page and then print it out and follow it. NOTE: the standalone print-out version can be downloaded and printed here: http://www.howtogetoverarelationship.com/The%20No%20Contact%20Contract%20( Prinout).pdf
The No Contact Contract

I have had a love addiction for the past __________ (length of relationship) I have been forced to go completely sober as of ________ (date of break up) Ive had withdrawals for the past ________ weeks/months/years (time since breakup) I will not cry over spilt milk or beat myself for not being over it yet. I didnt know about any of these methods earlier, and now that I do, I am enrolling myself into Relationship Rehab and beginning my detox I will no longer be a slave to my chemical dependency and I pledge to do whatever it takes to overcome my addiction. I will completely eliminate this drug from my life by not contacting my ex for the next 30 days There will not be a single form of communication between us (no talking or hanging out in person, no calling, texting, emailing, instant messaging, facebooking, skyping, or writing letters) Under no circumstance will I ever check up on them on facebook or any other social media site My healing process has now begun and the wound is finally starting to heal. I can feel the cut slowly turning into a scab and I will do my best to resist the urge to pick at it just to see it bleed all over again. I refuse to torture myself any longer and I will not inflict any more unnecessary pain on myself. I deserve the time and space to heal and I will not let my ex interfere with that. They have hurt me enough and I will not let them hurt me anymore. I am moving on with my life and giving myself the closure I never got. I am strong and resilient and I will bounce back better than ever from this experience. I am attractive and lovable and I know that I will find someone who does appreciate me. Signed: ___________________________________ (Your Name Here) Dated: ____________________________________ (Todays Date Here) Addiction Liberation Date: ____________________ (30 Days From Today) Print this out, tape it to your wall, and read it out loud every time you feel tempted to contact your ex. You can also fold it and put it in your wallet as a reminder.
Section 6:
How to Stop Thinking about Your Ex

Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here and Im in a really good mood today. My cheeks actually hurt right now from smiling so much. I really love writing and recording all this material for you. I hope youve gotten lot of value out of it so far. Today, I want to talk to you about one of the most comment questions I get all the time: How do I stop thinking about my ex? If youve been following along and doing everything in the program then youve probably already cut contact with your ex by now. If you havent done that yet, you need to do that as soon as possible. Why? Because you wont get any real perspective on the situation until you do. Youll be obsessing over all the events that happened leading up to the breakup, rather than all the real problems that actually lead to the break up. So if you havent cut contact yet because youre not sure if you should give it another try or just move on, let me kindly remind you that you need to cut contact with them regardless of whether you want to get them back or not. The only difference is, you do it temporarily if you want to get back together and you do it permanently if youve decided theyre not good for you. With that said, most people are usually in 1 of 2 places at this point of the program. Half the people are still furiously clinging to the hope of getting back together, even though its stating to seem a bit unlikely (though some are still clinging to the possibility in spite of that and are refusing to cut contact) The other half have accepted that its over and are having a really hard time moving on (even if they know their ex isnt good for them in the long run). Some of them have even gone as far as cutting contact with their ex completely. If thats the case, props to you. I know it took a lot of courage to actually do that.
Regardless of what situation youre in right now, youre probably having a really hard time not thinking about them right now. Its like they just constantly keep popping into your head over and over again throughout the day and youre probably wondering: how do I get them out of my head for good? Well, thats exactly what Ill be covering here so lets dive right in The first step to getting your ex out of your head is understating the nature of the problem. Like I said in past sections, your mind hates change and it seeks to keep everything the same at all costs. It wants to keep things comfortable and familiar because its safer that way. Another reason why you cant stop thinking about them is because now that youve cut contact with your ex, the only way that your mind can keep them alive is by thinking about them. Without your thoughts, your ex is NOTHING to you. Think about it Theyre not an active part of your life anymore; youre not really interacting with them and no new memories are being created. The only time theyre really relevant to your life is when your mind seeks to re-create or re-live something from the past. In other words, youre the only that continues to make them feel like a relevant part of your life. I know that may be a bit disheartening at first but its also extremely liberating. Why? Because it means that this is only as much of a problem as you allow it to be. So why does your mind continue to make you relive all these experiences? Well, there are two main reasons
1) One is to get some sort of closure or completion around the issue Thats what your mind needs in order to adjust and be in harmony with this new change in your life. 2) The second reason your mind keeps forcing you to relive things from the past is in attempt to maintain some sort of HARMONY with how things used to be. Essentially, its like a balancing act for your mind. So you need to approach the situation with this level of understanding because it will help you develop patience (which is a key ingredient to healing a broken heart) Whatever you do, dont get frustrated with yourself for thinking about them. Like I said, its natural to do that but you dont want to get pulled by that frustration because that just makes the problem worse. Because what happens is you think about them and then you create a secondary problem by judging yourself for thinking about them and then getting frustrated with yourself.
If you find yourself thinking about them, dont resist it redirect it.
This is something that Ill talk about again in a later section of the program and its rooted in the idea that what you resist, persists. This is actually a quote by a famous psychologist named Carl Jung. What you resist, persists. Think about that for a second When you resist something, you actually end up feeding it and giving it energy. So you dont want to resist it, you want to EMBRACE it. Embrace the fact that the thoughts are coming up for you and realize that this is normal and healthy. When the thoughts come up, just catch yourself and go: oh, Im thinking about my ex again. this is what happens, this is my period of relationship rehab. Im in the no contact phase so what good is it to think about them right now if I dont plan on contacting them? Thats just another way of dragging out the suffering. I dont want that so Im going to choose to let go of it right now
And heres the kicker Just because you do that once doesnt mean the problem is solved. In fact, its probably going to come up again and again in a few minutes, in a few hours, or even in a few days or weeks. You have to be okay with that and allow yourself the permission to drift off. However, when you catch yourself drifting off, you have to consciously get your mind back on track. If youve studied or practiced any kind of meditation, yoga or eastern philosophy, youll understand that this is the nature of the mind. It drifts; it thinks about things, and it basically just doesnt want to be still. Its kind of like an untrained monkey (which is how they describe it in various disciplines of Eastern Philosophy). It constantly drifts off and wanders and you have to patiently bring it back to the present, knowing that this is all part of the process. So if you catch yourself thinking about your ex, calmly bring your mind back to whatever you were doing before you got off track. In other words, dont beat yourself up for drifting off and thinking about them! Just kindly redirect your mind back to what you were doing before you got distracted. This is the foundation of the new approach that Im going to teach you. Its the underlying mindset that you absolutely MUST have in order to succeed with this. Now, Im going to teach you a special technique that you can actually use in conjunction with this mindset in order to help you stop thinking about your ex. However, this underlying mindset is absolutely critical. Without it, youll just end up generating even MORE pain and suffering. Why? Because instead of applying the technique that Im about to share with you, youre going to get carried away with thoughts of frustration, self-judgment, and self-loathing.
In other words, youre not going to be in the right state of mind to remember and apply the technique that Im about to share with you. Youll be too preoccupied with other counterproductive thoughts to do the productive thing that you know you need to do in that moment. Thats why Im making an extra effort to really hammer down on the importance of this mindset before I share the technique with you. It will help you develop the patience that you need to have throughout the process. And guess what? Getting over a break up is a process. Ive done my best to help you accelerate that process by sharing some of the most powerful things that Ive discovered after going through the process myself. However, theres no quick-fix for the actual process. You have to go through it. However, Im giving you the shortcut to getting through that process as quickly and easily as possible, with the minimum of suffering and resistance. With that said, Im going to ahead and share the technique that I promised to give you.
The Rubber Band Technique

This is a technique that I use with a lot of my clients in my private practice and its one of the many techniques that I share in my advanced break-up recovery course. In fact, I actually have an entire section in there on how to stop thinking about your ex where I share tons of different techniques just like this. If youre interested, Ill tell you a little bit more about it at the end of this report. For now, I want to teach you exactly how to do this technique. Cool? Alright, so heres how to do it. 1) Wear a really thick rubber band on your wrist. 2) Then, as soon as you start thinking about your ex, pull that sucker back and snap yourself. Do it hard enough so that it hurts.
Ill explain why this is so powerful in just a second. First, I need to make a disclaimer Disclaimer: I am NOT recommending that you hurt yourself in ANY other way aside from using a silly little rubber hand. If you have ANY suicidal thoughts at all, please contact a mental health professional immediately and get help. Seriously. There is no circumstance where self-harm is okay. Now, lets get back to the rubber-band technique The reason I am advising you to snap yourself with a rubber band anytime you think about your ex is because you dont realize that youre actually causing yourself pain when you think about your ex. Its so common, second-nature, and habitual that you dont even realize that youre doing it. Sure, on one hand, you do and you get that its not really doing you any good. However, we dont actually get the depth to which this habit is causing us to suffer. We are literally putting ourselves through pain by doing this. We just dont realize it because its more of a psychological and emotional pain than a physical one. So what this technique does is it actually associates PHYSICAL PAIN with the horribly unconstructive habit that is causing you EMOTIONAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN. While this may seem simple at first, its actually rooted in a fundamental principle in NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming). Two fundamental principles actually; one is the idea of pattern-interruption and the other is called anchoring Ill explain how this all works in just a second So what youre doing here is youre actually INTERRUPTING the pattern of thinking about your ex by snapping the rubber band. Then, youre ANCHORING that pattern with physical pain. In other words, youre associating that pattern with a real, physical sensation that is very unpleasant. Then, by using a couple other really advanced techniques from NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) - you can actually REPORGRAM YOUR MIND in that very moment to prevent those thoughts from arising in the future.
This is something that I actually cover in much greater depth in my advanced course, The Breakthrough Breakup Method. However, Ill give you a little sneak peak of it here to illustrate what I mean. To be perfectly honest with you, I wasnt actually planning to go into it here because I didnt want to make this section too long (especially since I already recorded a separate video on this exact topic in my advanced course). But since Im in a good mood today, I decided to share it with you here too so that I really over-deliver on everything I promised to you when you purchased this program. So with that said, Im going to share one of the most powerful techniques that I share in my advanced course. This one technique alone has literally helped thousands of people from all around the world so promise me that youre actually going to use it, okay? PS: whats really cool about the technique Im about to share is that you can actually use it in conjunction with the rubber band technique that I just shared with you. Ill explain how in just a second. So after you break the pattern with the rubber band technique, all you have to do is repeat the following statement outloud:
Our Lives No Longer Intersect And Thats Not Something That My Thoughts Can Affect
This is a powerful affirmation that will install a positive new belief in your mind that will ACCELERATE your recovery process. The more you repeat this, the more you engrain it into your mind. And the more engrained it is in your brain, the easier it will be for you to accept it. I call this the process of re-training your brain So the next time youre doing something and you suddenly notice yourself getting sidetracked by thoughts of your ex, just snap the rubber band to break the pattern. (Dont worry about looking weird just do it!)
After that, reprogram your mind by saying the following affirmation outloud: Our lives no longer intersect and thats not something that my thoughts can affect. This shifts your psychology and helps you accept that the relationship is over, while simultaneously reinforcing the fact that this pattern is not doing you any good. Not only is not doing you any good, its actually hurting you and causing you more pain! So do your best to accept it and redirect it every time it comes up so that you can retrain your brain Anyway, thats just one quick little technique that I talk about in my advanced course. Its extremely powerful on its own but it works even better when you combine with some of the other cutting-edge techniques that I share in my advanced course. So if youre still struggling to get over your ex and you want to learn how to get them out of your head as FAST as possible, I highly recommend getting my advanced course. You can learn more about it here: www.breakthrougbreakupmethod.com The advanced course will drastically ACCELERATE your recovery process and itll also go into much more depth about a whole wide range of other topics like: What to do if you find out your ex is seeing someone else (and how to overcome all the feelings of jealousy, hurt and betrayal) How to stop beating yourself about all things you shouldve done (once you learn this trick, youll never drive yourself crazy thinking about all the things that happened and youll finally stop wasting your time analyzing all the things you couldve done differently) How to let go of any anger or resentment you have towards your ex Youll learn exactly what to do if you and your ex still work together Youll even learn what to do if you and your ex have kids together
I go into this, and much, much more in the advanced course. Theres simply no way for me to explain everything that I cover here but if you want to learn more, just click the link below to check it out: www.breakthrougbreakupmethod.com
The Breakthrough Breakup Method

This is a course that I am continuously revising and updating based on the feedback that I get from all of you. The Break Up Cure is the core course, it sets the foundation for the recovery process and shows you exactly what to do to move forward. Since Ive released it, Ive gotten hundreds of emails from people telling me how this material has changed their life and helped them get over their ex. However, I also got hundreds of emails from folks who encountered some bumps along the way (which is totally normal) Thats why I also make myself available for private sessions, so that I can get on the phone with them and help them breakthrough whatever is keeping them stuck. However, at one point, I started getting more emails than I could even keep up with and I found myself repeating many of the same things over and over again. Thats when I decided to compile all the stuff that I was sharing with my private clients into an ADVANCED course that addressed all the bumps on The Road to Recovery. In this course, I outline the entire roadmap to recovery I also share the 5 most critical stages of getting over a break up. These are the 5 stages that every person MUST go through in order to get over their ex and move on with their life without carrying around any baggage from their past relationship. After I outline the entire process step-by-step, I address all the different roadblocks that youll encounter along the way. That way, you can breakthrough all the stumbling blocks and keep moving forward, without constantly taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back. And thats why I call it The Breakthrough Breakup Method; its designed to help you breakthrough whatevers keeping you stuck so that you can finally move on with your life without constantly thinking about your ex. You can learn more about it here: www.breakthrougbreakupmethod.com
Youll Get FREE Updates for Life and Youll Also Get Access To All The Fresh New Insights I Get From Working With My Private Clients
The really cool thing about the advanced course is that Im constantly updating it with new reports and videos based on the issues that I encounter with my private clients. When Im working with my clients in private, I am constantly taking notes on all their struggles and issues so that I can be as effective as humanly possible in helping them every week. (If youve ever had a session with me, youve already experienced this first hand). If not, and youd like to have a session sometime, heres how you can reach out to us: What I think is kind of cool and also really unique about me and my programs is that I create ALL of them based on what I experience in working with my private clients. I take a crazy amount of notes and then I create new materials for my advanced course based on these EXACT notes. In other words, I take the issues that my clients are experiencing and I turn them into books and videos to help others who are having the same challenges. Thats why you find a lot of my information so spot on As you can see, its not just a bunch of theory or vague common sense advice that youll find in a lot of self-help books. Its all based on REAL issues that people from all around the world are actually facing on a daily basis. Thats what makes it so beneficial and applicable to you and your situation. This is the standard of quality and service that I maintain in ALL my courses. So if youve liked this program and you want to get a more in-depth and advanced course that outlines exactly what to do to get through it as quickly and easily as possible, I HIGHLY recommend getting my advanced course. I dont want to spend a bunch of time trying to sell this to you in a long 30 minute video like I did for this course.
Instead, Im just going to give you an irresistible that you cant help but say yes to. Ill give you 50% OFF the regular price of course and Ill even include 3 special bonuses that are normally worth over $300 dollars. Heres where you can get all the details: www.breakthroughbreakupmethod.com Like I said, I dont want to spend a bunch of time trying to communicate the value of this to you. Hopefully, you trust me by now and see first-hand that I deliver the goods. So if you like this, I guarantee that youll like the advanced course. You can get it here: www.breakthroughbreakupmethod.com
Section 7:
Learning a Lesson from Your Relationship

Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here. In this section, I want to talk about how to extract some really valuable life lessons from your relationship. I believe that relationships are single-handedly the #1 greatest vehicle for personal growth. Nothing forces you to reflect on who you are (and how you are) more than being in a relationship with someone. Why? Because when youre sharing your life with someone on such a close and intimate basis, it really puts everything you got to the test. If you have any issues or insecurities, they will come to the surface during your relationship. Theres a really great quote by Barbara DeAngelis, a famous author who was actually one of my personal coaches and mentors. She said, Love is like a big magnifying class it creates just enough safety for all your past wounds to come out. The deep intimacy is what brings this stuff to the surface. And ironically, the closer you get, the more stuff comes out. I know thats not really a pleasant truth to deal with but it just is what it is. So, its important to stop and view your relationship from this perspective and see what there is to learn from it. The sad truth of the matter is that most people do NOT do this. They dont truly learn from the mistakes they made in their past relationship, and as a result, they just keep playing out the same pattern in all their future relationships.
The question is: why do we do this? Why dont we take the time to actually learn from our relationships? I think the main reason we dont stop to learn from what happened is because its uncomfortable. It forces you to look at yourself and how you contributed to the problems in your relationship, which is never easy to do. But even more importantly it forces you to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY Thats a big and scary word for a lot of people. So what do we do instead? Most of us play what I like to call the blame game
The Blame Game

Instead of taking the responsibility or seeing what we did to contribute to the breakup, we just point our finger at our ex and making them out to be the bad guy, the bitch, the asshole, etc. Then, we go on this huge self-righteous parade and we rally all our friends against them. We tell everyone what they did and how wrong they were. And sure, thats fine. I get why we do that. It gives us some relief to hear other people tell us that that were right and that we really deserve better anyway. Although that does help to a certain degree, it only helps you temporarily (and it actually hurts you in the long run) Why? Because when we do this, we feel like we were right and they were wrong and so we never really stop to look at things from a difference perspective. Therefore, we never truly learn from it. We either end up picking the same kind of partner in the future or we end up making the same mistakes in our future relationships.
Well, since Im not just a friend that will listen to your side of story and agree with you just because Im your friend, I want to challenge you to actually look at how you may have contributed to the dynamic in your relationship. Remember, it takes two to tango. They may have been the one that cheated, or they may have been the one that did something wrong but the truth is that you accepted it for as long as you did. So even if you are totally innocent (which I doubt you are), the fact is that you tolerated the dysfunctions, the problems, and the drama for as long as you did. So its important to stop and look at why you tolerated it as long as you did so that you can learn from it and make sure you have a better way of dealing with it in the future. I mentioned this in the very first section of this program when I said: A persons self-esteem is directly correlated to how long they stay in a relationship that is giving them less than what they truly deserve For example: someone that has high self-esteem; who knows what they want and what theyre worth usually doesnt settle for less than what they truly deserve. They also dont tolerate toxic or dysfunctional behavior for very long. They set healthy boundaries and they dont accept toxic behavior. If you accepted toxic behavior in your relationship, heres a clue: It may have something to do with your self-worth. Thats just one little insight that may help you extract a lesson from your relationship It may also reveal some things that you need to work on before getting into another one. Trust me, there are millions of other things that you can learn from it too. It really all depends on why you guys broke up. Unfortunately, I cant possibly cover all the reasons that you and your ex may have broke up in just this one section alone. Relationships are unique and people breakup for a variety of reasons. However, although relationships are unique, they also have a lot of commonalities. After working with hundreds of people, I realized that there are really only so many things that can actually go wrong in a relationship.
Sure, there are a lot of things that can create hurt feelings and upsets but there are only a select few things that actually cause people to leave a relationship. A lot of my clients really struggle with seeing what it really was that caused their partner to break up with them. A lot of women often ask me How can he just suddenly disappear without saying anything? I didnt see any signs or anything. He just left and Im stuck without any answers. What happened? They spend a lot of time obsessing over what happened, hoping hell call and give them some sort of explanation or closure. A lot of men spend every single day and night analyzing everything that happened in the relationship, reading into every situation, trying to figure out what happened and where they went wrong. A lot of times, theyll get so fixated on all the surface level reasons that their ex gave them for leaving that they dont ever really understand the deeper underlying reasons for why they left. They think that if they could just somehow fix the reasons their ex gave them, everything would be fine again. And then some men never get any real reasons at all. They just remember their exgirlfriend being really negative, bitchy and difficult to deal with for a few weeks or months before the relationship ended. They noticed them being less affectionate, not laughing at their jokes anymore, and not wanting to have sex anymore. Yet, they couldnt seem to understand why. Anytime they would try to talk to their ex or get an answer out of them, they would just get even more frustrated. Or sometimes they would just give them some sort of vague answer that didnt really make any sense After talking to lots of people and dissecting all the little details of their unique situation, I was able to help them understand what really happened in the relationship and where it fell off course. But even more importantly, I helped them learn from it so that they dont make the same mistakes again in the future. Now, I used to only be able to do this with clients in my private practice. But as more and more people started coming to me for advice, I didnt have enough time in my schedule to help each individual person with their specific situation.
So what I decided to do was create an advanced course called: Why Your Ex Left (And What You Need to Learn From It) In this course, I go into the 10 most common reasons that cause people to break up. Then in part two, I go into what you need to learn from it so that you can become the kind of person that no man or woman would ever think about leaving. To learn more about this course, just go to www.WhyYourExLeft.com Theres actually two separate courses one for men and one for women. If youre interested in learning more about where your relationship went off course and what you could have done to save it, Id highly recommend checking it out. If you just want to learn from your mistakes so you know what to do in the future, Id highly recommend checking it out too. After all, its a lot better to learn from it now so that you never have to go through this kind of pain ever again Heres the link where you can get it =>www.WhyYourExLeft.com This course will give you an inside-look at what went wrong in your relationship, what you can learn from it, and what to do so you dont end up repeating the same mistakes in your future relationships. It also goes much deeper into why men just suddenly leave disappear out of the blue and how to become the kind of woman that no man would EVER want to leave. I also cover why women suddenly lose attraction and start acting cold and distant in a relationship (and what you can do to KEEP her interest so that she never gets bored and leaves you for someone else). To get this course, just go to www.WhyYourExLeft.com Heres an email that I got from someone that actually went through the course:
Its great that even someone who is 48 can look back and see where they went wrong. Yet, at the same time, its also kind of sad that they had to sabotage 3 separate relationships before they finally decided to learn what they were doing wrong. One of my mentors and coaches had a great saying that said: You can leave a person without leaving the pattern Barbara DeAngelis Unfortunately, this guy played out the exact same pattern in every single relationship. Plus, each relationship was probably somewhere between 1 year to 5 years, which means that he spent somewhere between 5-15 years of his life completely unconscious to what he was doing. Pretty scary thought, right? Thats almost a decade! Luckily, he still has a few good dating years left (as he said in his message) Hopefully hell find someone new and use what he learned in my course to make sure that his next relationship actually lasts. By the way, if you find yourself struggling with a lot of the same issues that you had in your past relationships, I honestly cannot recommend this course highly enough. Make sure you get it and learn what you do to sabotage your relationships so that you dont end up doing it again in the future. To get this course, just go to www.WhyYourExLeft.com Theres a great quote that I share in that course that says: A change in circumstances without a change in self simply recreates the same circumstances in a different situation Pretty crazy, huh? Look, I dont want you to have to repeat the same mistakes in your future relationships. I want your next relationship to be different radically different. Thats why I think its so crucial for you to get this course and learn everything there is to know about relationships. After all, thats the purpose of the relationships that dont last, right? To help us learn.
No relationship is ever a waste of time; the wrong ones teach you the lessons that prepare you for the right ones. Unfortunately, most people just write these experiences off as failed relationships They just place all the blame on their partner and say they werent the right one Then, they immediately try to meet someone else, hoping to find the one The person who would treat them right and give them everything they deserve. Yet, they never stop to think about what they need to do in order to actually attract that kind of person into their life. They just focus on finding the one rather than becoming the kind of person that would attract the one. Or even worse, they just throw themselves back out there out of desperation. They immediately move on to the next, desperately trying to find someone new to mask the empty void they feel inside. Instead of truly dealing with it, they just try to cover it up with someone new. Not only is this completely unfair and misleading to the person youre using as a rebound, its also extremely destructive to you. Sure, it may cover up the pain temporarily (which might make you feel like its helping) However, its really only hurting you in the long run. Why? Because its preventing you from actually stopping to reflect on what happened. Youre so consumed with trying to find someone else to solve all your problems that you have no time to actually stop and think. And when you do think about the relationship, its usually only in the context of how this new person you met is nothing like your ex or how you just dont feel that special connection with them. No shit! You just met them. How are you supposed to feel that type of connection right away?
That took you years to develop. Plus, youre not really over your ex yet so you how can you even expect to have the space to feel that way about anyone else? Right now, you dont have the space to feel that level of love and connection. Your ex still occupies a part of your hear.t You have to heal your broken heart and untangle yourself from your ex if you ever want to fall in love again. You actually have to open up a space in your heart to love someone else. I show you how to do this in my advanced course on How to Find Love Again If you want to learn more about it, email me at [email protected] In any case, its important to consciously heal right after a break up before you throw yourself back out there. Otherwise, youll just end up attracting a bunch of users and abusers that are unconsciously dating in order to avoid facing their own relationship disasters. Yet, this is what so many of us do. Why? Because most people arent willing to do the not-so-pretty task of looking at what they did wrong. They dont really challenge themselves to learn from their relationships. They just get angry and bitter towards their ex (and often towards the opposite sex as a whole) Newsflash: a bitter attitude about love is not a very pretty trait to someone whos actually ready to love you with every part of their being. In fact, youll end up pushing them away. So please do whatever you can to heal and learn from it now so that this doesnt happen to you. It takes a great deal of maturity and self-awareness to be able to do this. And sometimes, its not very pleasant.
When people actually stop and reflect on what they did wrong in the relationship, they often get bogged down by guilt. They start beating themselves up for all the mistakes they made and they self-sabotage themselves. No wonder why so many of us avoid it! And its because of that very reason that so many of us end up playing out the exact same patterns in all our future relationships. Then, after that relationship goes to shit too, we just jump back on to their self-righteous parade, proclaiming that all women are bitches and all guys are assholes. We rally up everyone we can on our side, whining and complaining to all our friends about how all women are bitches and how all men are assholes. We go on and on about how life is unfair and why this always happens to us. I know because Ive been there. And let me tell you, its a crappy place to be. Like I said earlier, it helps us cope with the situation temporarily. It serves its purpose. However, it doesnt serve your highest purpose I believe that relationships are meant to serve your highest purpose: To learn, to grow, and contribute to others. I want to make sure you do that so that you can extract all the valuable lessons from this relationship. I also want to make sure that you use these lessons to have even better relationships in the future.
I dont just want to help you survive the breakup I want to help you thrive in life
I want to make sure you learn everything there is to know from this relationship so that your next one isnt plagued by all the same patterns that caused this one to fail. And even more importantly, I want to make sure that you never find yourself feeling so weak and hopeless EVER again. I want you to become the kind of man that no woman would ever think of leaving. I want you to become the kind of woman that can keep a man addicted forever. I want you to become such an amazing person that anyone would be stupid to walk away from you. But even more importantly, I want you to feel so amazing and wonderful about yourself that even if someone does leave you, youll be okay with yourself, knowing theres plenty of people out there that will actually WANT to be with you. I know that might sound too good to be true right now or it may seem like its a very distant reality. Thats okay. It was a really distant reality for me too... until I actually went through this experience myself and had to learn all this stuff the hard way. After that, I took all the best lessons I learned and I compiled them into a series of courses to help people get through it faster. And here you are now, reaping all the benefits of my pain and suffering :) Why? Because one day, I decided to turn my wounds into wisdom. I decided to extract all the lessons I could possibly learn from this experience so that I could grow and become a better person. And today, I want to help you do the same. I want to help you learn everything there is to know about relationships so that you have what it takes to make the next one last. What Ive done is Ive actually compiled all the best lessons Ive learned about love and relationships into an in-depth course that reveals what it really takes to make a relationship work. Its called:
Why Your Ex Left & What You Need To Learn From It

In this course, I reveal the 10 most common reasons that causes people to break up (and how to get through them so that you can maintain a happy, lasting relationship) If you want to learn more, just click the link below: => http://www.WhyYourExLeft.com By the way, if youve had a hard time getting closure or understanding why your relationship ended, theres a good chance this program will reveal the answer to you. Plus, Ill teach you everything you need to know to get through the tough times and make your next relationship LAST. If you want to learn why your ex left and what it REALLY takes to make a relationship work, I highly recommend checking this out. => http://www.WhyYourExLeft.com

If you want to get my advice on your specific situation, the best thing to do is to setup a private session with me. Just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] After you reach out to us, my assistant will get back to you within 24-48 hours to setup a time for us to talk. Disclaimer: due to the overwhelming amount of requests I get, I cannot personally talk to everyone that wants my advice. However, we always get back to people within 24-48 hours so go ahead and reach out to us and my assistant will let you know what times I have available. Im usually pretty booked up but even if Im totally booked for the week, they should still be able to get you in very soon. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
Section 8:
Getting Closure
Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here, and today, I want to talk about a crucial step in the recovery process: getting closure. A lot of you have reached out to me after going through the last section of the program, letting me know that the technique I shared has really helped you stop thinking about your ex. Many of you said that youve been using it throughout the day, the rubber band technique as well as the affirmation that I shared to help reprogram your mind. If you havent checked it out yet, make sure you watch or read the section on how to stop thinking about your ex. Itll really help you. It wont get them out of your head completely but itll give you something you can do to stop the thoughts from dragging out and turning into minutes and hours of suffering. If you use this technique consistently, youll just have some fleeting thoughts here and there because youll now have control over it and youll be able to stop it. A couple people have asked me What will it take for to make the thoughts go away completely? This is something that I talk about a lot in my advanced course, how to shift things on a deeper level so that you can actually let go and create a permanent change. Thats what I want to talk to you about today. Im going to share a bit more of the advanced materials that I got in The Breakthrough Breakup Method course to help you understand how to eliminate the thoughts for good. If you want to get them out of your head completely, first you need to understand the inner-working of your mind (which is what gives life to the thoughts). Dont worry though, Ill illustrate how it works with just one simple analogy so that its easy to understand. So I want you to think of your life like a tree. A tree has roots and it also has fruits.
Well, the fruits are your thoughts and the roots are the unresolved emotions that cause your thoughts to arise. So for example that thought you have about the place you guys went together, that time in the beginning of the relationship that you keep thinking back to, etc. These are all different fruits that grow on the tree. Well, if you want the fruits to stop growing, you dont do it by knocking the fruits off the tree with a broom or by trying to cut down all the branches. That doesnt stop it from growing new fruits. To actually get rid of all the fruits (and stop them from growing), you have to go in and PULL OUT THE ROOTS That requires a lot more deep and advanced work, which is what my advanced course is all about. If you want to get my advanced course and learn how to get your ex out of your head for good, you can get it here: => www.breakthroughbreakupmethod.com In the meantime, I want to give you a little sneak peak of some of the stuff that I share in the advanced course that will help you get down to the roots. That way you can pull those suckers out so that the fruits stop growing automatically. If you can get down to the roots and if you can handle the core issue, the fruits (or the thoughts) will just naturally stop growing on their own. Sure, you may still need to beat off a fruit or two that are still hanging around but these are just dead fruits. You wont have a bunch of new ones growing if you truly heal things from the inside out. In order to get down to the roots though, you need to understand where these thoughts are really coming from and why they keep coming up. One of the main reasons that thoughts of your ex keeps coming up, causing you to worry and overthink things is because of a LACK OF CLOSURE. Your mind overprocesses things in order to try to make sense of things. This is its way of getting completion and coming to peace with what happened. Thats a big reason why we randomly dream about our ex, which is something that I talk a lot about in my advanced course as well. If youre having repeated dreams about your ex, make sure you grab that to learn how to process it correctly so that it stops.
In the meantime, I want to help you deal with the #1 source that causes all those thoughts to arise in the first place, which is the lack of closure and completion. Im going to share a powerful technique with you below that will help you get much more closure and completion with the break up. Its called:
The Complete Closure Method

Once you go through the process that Im about to share with you, you will find that you start thinking about your ex a lot less. Why? Because youre actually handling it at the root level with this one. Now, you cant expect this ONE technique to pull out ALL the roots. It takes some deeper work to be able to do that, which is why I created my advanced course: The Breakthrough Breakup Method. If youre interested, you can get it here => Regardless of whether you decide to get it or not, I want you to know that just this one technique alone will help you tackle a lot of the core roots that cause all those fruits to keep growing. If you find that you need to do more work to clear it out later, you can get my advanced course or just call my office to set up a session with me. In the meantime, I want to give you a technique that you can use right away. So heres how you do it: You write a letter to your ex voicing everything youre feeling, as well as all the things that have been hurting you and causing you suffering. By allowing yourself to express that, youre able to get it out of your system. However, if you DONT do this, you end up carrying it around with you. And over time, itll turn into this big emotional burden thats always on your shoulder. Doing this exercise gives you the opportunity to dump all your baggage out on paper so that you can finally release it from your system. Once you do, youll experience an incredible sense of relief.
Ive made every single one of my clients go through this exercise because its literally THAT powerful. PS: you dont actually need to send them this letter. After all, that would breach the no contact contract you made with yourself in the last section. The point of writing this is really just to get it completely out of your system. What you choose to do with it after that is up to you. The important part is the actual healing process that you go through as you write it all out. Through the process, youll give yourself the closure and completion youve been looking for all this time. So heres how to do it: Imagine that you are writing a good-bye letter The goal of this letter is to release anything you might still be holding onto. This is a way for you to part ways and say your goodbyes. Use this as an opportunity to tie up any loose ends and say anything that was left unsaid. This is your last opportunity to say it. Say it now or forever hold your peace. Ask yourself: 1) Was there anything that you wanted to tell your ex? 2) Are there any words or feelings trapped inside that you need to get out? The best way to let them out is through this letter. Use this letter to purge everything inside of you right now. After that, youll be able to move on freely. Remember: the goal of this is to get a sense of emotional release so dont leave anything out.
Writing Your Goodbye Letter

1) Write it as if you were talking to them directly 2) Be honest and compassionate 3) Consider including some of the following points Come clean with things you havent said to them Apologize for anything you did Share what youve learned with them Thank them Tell them what you appreciate about them Share what you enjoyed most about your relationship Tell them what you got from the time you spent together Forgive them for anything they may have done to hurt you Wish them the best in the future
When youre done Sign the letter with the time and date Close it with a kind ending like Love Always Either print it out or fold it up (depending on whether you wrote or typed it) If you typed it, print 2 copies. Take the 1st copy and store it away somewhere where you wont see it. You want to keep one copy of it so that you can look back on it later. Take the 2nd copy and burn it But dont just burn it, let the burning be a symbolic experience for you. As you watch it burn 1) Let it mark the end to a chapter in your life. 2) Experience a sense of closure as you see it light up in flames
3) Feel a sense of relief as you look at the ashes that remain. I know all of this may sound a little corny initially but if you found all the other exercises in the course helpful, this one is going to be just as effective (if not the most effective) Even if you don't burn it, the act of writing the letter and consciously purging all of the emotions that are trapped inside of you is actually very therapeutic. Id actually put this up there as one of the most powerful techniques in the course, along with the EFT technique. In fact, I would even rank it above that technique in some ways. They all serve their own unique purpose for each stage of the recovery process. This is the best method for coping with the loss at this stage so I highly recommend that you do it. Theres lots of great ideas in this program but this one is a MUST do. Seriously. If youre the type that would normally just read over it and move on to the next section make sure you actually stop and do this one. Youll thank me later. What are you waiting for? Take out a piece of paper and do it. Itll give you a ton of relief. I promise. PS: Ive actually included a copy of the letter I wrote below for you to read. Why? Because I want you to see that this isnt just a bunch of nice-sounding advice to read and agree with. That doesnt actually help you feel better. What helps you feel better is actually applying this exercise in your own life. Thats why I included a copy of my letter to show you how I applied this exercise in my own life and the amazing impact it had on my healing. I wanted to show you that I actually live what I teach and I only recommend things to you that Ive done myself. After experiencing the benefit first hand, I decided to share it with others and now Ive had thousands of clients go through this exact same process. Why?
Because it flat out WORKS In fact, just reading my letter will probably resonate so much with you that it will give you a ton of closure and relief on its own. However, the true closure will come from doing it yourself. So go ahead and do this exercise. And if at any point you feel stumped or you need some ideas to get the juices flowing, just read the letter below to see how I did. Just dont get caught up thinking theres a right way to do it and then not do it at all. Theres no right way to do it the right way is whatever way gives you the most relief. Got it?
My Closure Letter:
hi julie, i saw ashley yesterday and I happened to listen to spoonfull tonight and they both reminded me of you. listening to him was a totally different experience now. it almost didnt even feel like I was listening to music but like I was reliving a part of my life. it brought back a lot of the memories we had and it really gave me a glimpse of how i was at the time and how i saw the world. its so crazy to see how much ive grown. honestly, i had a hard time even identifying with a lot of the things that were coming up for me i was just like kevin are you serious? i really cared about you but i was nowhere near capable of being in a healthy or functional relationship. now that i think about it, thats a really good summary for both of us haha dont get me wrong we had a lot of great times together, but there were also times where we were just downright destructive to one another. i could go on forever about all the things that just seem so ridiculous now that I look back on it but for the sake of simplicity - sorry for all my childish bullshit. as I look back, there are SO many things I would have done differently. but if I could go back in time and change just ONE thing, it would be my ability to take the time to REALLY understand you in every situation. And I mean TRULY understand the real reason behind whatever youre saying instead of just taking it at face value and getting defensive. i actually thought i understood you lol i might have logically but i didnt truly understand shit. i was too caught up in my own world to really step in your shoes and understand you, let alone act with compassion. a lot of the times Id get too carried away in my own reactions to really understand how you felt or why you felt that way. Sure, I may have acknowledged parts of it but I dont think I truly understood it. if I really understood you, it would have shown in my actions. I would have taken the feelings that I supposedly understood into consideration before saying or doing something. it really doesnt matter if i agree or disagree with what you were feeling, its not my job to criticize you or tell you whats wrong or right or try to fix you or change you in any way. my only job was to love you and i did i just didnt know how to love when things got really rough and thats when it mattered the most. i always tried to respect what you were feeling by taking the time to understand why you felt that way but I failed to get the full meaning out of it and actually respond with compassion. I should have accepted you fully as you are instead of resenting that part of you and wanting to change it.
it really wasnt my place to try to solve your problems for you, id actually be robbing you of the opportunity to mature and grow for yourself by doing that but I think guys are just naturally problem solvers so to us thats perfectly rational. identify the problem, get to the root of it and find the cause, and then try to solve it. Ive learned that women arent like that. in fact, thats the complete opposite of what you actually wanted and needed in that moment. all i had to do was listen and truly understand you and love you no matter what. thats real love. accepting every part of a person and loving them unconditionally. that wouldve been a much better approach but unfortunately for both of us, i wasnt mature enough to do that.... i was just a self centered boy consumed by love. now that Ive matured, Im able to understand you, and all women, much better. I now realize that understanding is by far the most important thing you can do and most guys simply dont realize it even if you tell them word for word. Hell, you beat me over the head with it during our entire relationship and I just didnt get it. I guess its one of those things that you really gotta learn for yourself. i think its a concept that very few men ever truly grasp and Im glad to be one of them. after playing spoonfull again tonight, it reminded me of our first night together, and ya know, all the good memories associated with that. It also lead me to remember how music was our thing which reminded me of the time i was too busy being a defensive lil bitch to really understand that you felt hurt when i wrote on maggies wall saying good music or whatever i said. you understood i had no intentions of doing anything with her and i understood why you felt hurt by what I said to her, but i was too immature to actually accept responsibility for what I did and consider your feelings. In other words, i didnt truly understand you. that example is totally random and its pretty irrelevant and insignificant in the grand scheme of things but it was basically the same story over and over with different details in every situation. every time you said ___ or complained about ___ , i was too immature and self centered to realize that you felt hurt, scared, afraid, unloved, or just didnt feel like you can trust me. and you know what? i dont blame you in any way. if i was in your shoes and had all the experiences you had, i would have felt the same way and done the exact same thing... just like if you were in my shoes and had the same experiences i had, you would have acted the same way as well. i really wish i knew the importance of true compassion back then but oh well, you live and you learn. experience is a tough teacher and sometimes you gotta learn things the hard way so thank you for the experience. thanks for every complaint and every test you threw at me. i cluelessly failed one after another, which only made things worse. but as i look back on it now, i realize that it was all worth it. i couldnt do anything about the fact that i just didnt know any better at the time but at least now i can say i do. i now realize that you were in my life for a reason. you really helped me learn a lot of things about myself that I never knew before. and thats what relationships are really for after all,
right? to help you grow and experience yourself in ways that you wouldnt be able to do if you were alone. any relationship that facilitates the growth and development of both people is a success in my opinion. anything that differs from that is just a judgment about the situation and usually a sign that the person has not truly derived a lesson from their experience. even if the relationship is a failure in the sense that two people are no longer together, i think its still a success if both people have grown from the experience. i definitely have and thats the reason i began writing this letter to you in the first place. i wanted to tell you how grateful i am for the time we spent together. having you in my life was truly a gift... one of the greatest gifts i couldve ever asked for actually. im really glad we shared all the experiences we did, both good and bad. you had an incredible influence on my life and showed me a lot about myself. this experience has really inspired me to find myself and create the life Ive always wanted. thank you once again for everything i wish you nothing but the best love always, kevin
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
As you can tell, that was a pretty raw and vulnerable thing for me to share with you. However, I decided to do it anyway because I knew that it would help you on your journey. Ive actually had people tell me that they got a ton of relief just from reading that letter alone. Some people even asked me to share some more examples from my personal life because they could relate to so much of what I shared and wanted to hear more. So what Ive done is Ive actually gone back and collected all the things I wrote after the break up, both to myself and to my ex. I even copied down all the insights I wrote in my journal, with priceless lessons on life and relationships. After that, I compiled it into a private vault of wisdom
Priceless Insights from My Private Vault of Wisdom

This vault of wisdom contains a lot of personal stuff, as well as a lot of really great pearls of wisdom that you can apply to your own life. After being asked about it time and time again, I decided to include it as a special bonus for people who buy my advanced course on how to get over a break up. Its called The Breakthrough Breakup Method You can learn more about it at www.breakthrougbreakupmethod.com In this course, I go even deeper than I have here and I also share some of the best lessons I learned from over 10 years of personal experience, as well as actually working with people one-on-one. I highly recommend checking it out. You can learn more about it at www.breakthrougbreakupmethod.com
Section 9:
Finding Forgiveness
Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here, and today, I want to talk to you about one of the most important steps to healing after a break up. And that is, finding forgiveness. I know forgiveness is a word thats thrown around a lot, but I think its something that we really have to consciously strive to understand. They talk a lot about it in the Christian faith and various other religions, yet what does it actually mean? Well, what Ive found is that it takes a lot of inner work and maturity to truly forgive others (and to really let go of any anger or resentment that we may have towards them) Theres really a great quote by Reinhold Niebuhr that said, Forgiveness is the final form of love. When I first heard that quote, something about it resonated with me and inspired me to look deeper into forgiveness. And it was through that process that I really discovered how important it is when it comes healing after a break up. Ive found it to be crucial to getting over a break up. I believe that you cant truly let go and move on until you forgive your ex. Sure, you may be able to date other people (and do whatever else moving on symbolizes to people nowadays). However, if you havent forgiven your ex, youll still be holding on to past baggage from the relationship. In other words, there will still be a negative charge around the relationship. You will carry negativity towards your past (and towards your relationship). You may even talk badly about it to others. If thats the case, how can you say that youre really over it? Theyre no longer in your life and yet you still generate these negative feelings towards them on your own, even when its not really related to whatever topic youre talking about? If thats the case, I wouldnt say that youve really let go or moved on with your life. You cant truly let go of your ex until you forgive them for what happened Ill take it one step further though
You cant truly move on with your life until you forgive yourself for how you acted in the relationship In other words, you want to forgive both you AND your ex for what happened. Theres an interesting challenge that comes up here for a lot of people and its something that I get emails about all the time. See, after we learn a lesson from the relationship, we have a tendency to get really self critical and beat ourselves up for it (which is another reason why so many people just avoid reflecting on their relationship altogether). Its really hard to look back on your relationship and take responsibility for your part in how the relationship played out. Its even harder to look back on it and not judge yourself for how you acted. A lot of people beat themselves for being so stupid, wondering how could I do that!? The worst is when they start thinking, if only I didnt do that thing I wouldnt have screwed it up. Im so dumb! Why did I do that? I wish I could go back and fix it Let me expand on some of the stuff I just brought up here because this comes up A LOT when Im working with people in my private practice. The reason this usually happens is because in the second phase of our work together, we begin to explore all the things that they can learn from the relationship. PS: if youre interesting in learning what really went wrong in your relationship so that you can learn from it and not re-create the same problems in your next relationship, I have 2 different options for you. 1) You can get my advanced course to Learn Why Your Ex Left & What it Really Takes to Make a Relationship Work => www.WhyYourExLeft.com 2) You can also schedule a private session with me and well do a deep-dive into what happened in your relationship, why it failed, and what you could have done differently. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
The Biggest Enemy to Your Healing

One of the biggest challenges I mentioned earlier was that people get very self-critical once they finally figure out what went wrong in their relationship. This is something that I really struggled with in my own life as well. I got into a really negative pattern where I was constantly judging myself and beating myself up for all the mistakes that I made. It was really twisted because - on one hand - I was doing this really good thing by reflecting on the relationship to learn from it and extract all the wisdom I possibly could. And yet, at the same time, I was actually using this good thing AGAINST MYSELF. I was beating myself up and making myself feel shitty for all the things I did wrong. The reason Im sharing this with you is because I think you can probably relate to it. This was probably one of the biggest challenges for me in the recovery process and its something that I really had to learn about how to forgive myself. And thats something that I actually want to touch on here as well: How to forgive yourself for all the mistakes you made. At some point, you have to realize that you just didnt know any of this stuff at the time. You simply didnt know any better. Maybe you just recently learned this stuff after you got my course on why your ex left and what it really takes to make relationships work. Well, you cant go back and beat yourself up for not knowing it back then, after all you just learned this stuff now. Thats like a 3 year old kid learning how to walk and then beating himself up for the past 3 years that he crawled around as a stupid little toddler. That just is what it is. He didnt know how to walk at the time. What do you expect? He was still developing. Its the same thing here, except we often forget that and become really, really self-critical. I know I did. Thats something that you really have to work let go of and transcend, for your own sanity. If you dont, all these self-critical thoughts are just going to keep coming up and youre going to be thinking about all the things that you should have done differently. Its going to drive you nuts and make you absolutely MISERABLE
Forgive yourself and realize that you couldnt have done any better at the time, given where you were at. Extend that same level of kindness and compassion to your ex as well. Realize that they were just doing the best they could too with what they knew at the time too. Maybe now theyve learnt, may be they didnt, who knows? Truth is, theyre probably NOT taking a course like this to help them get through it and make the most of it. Theyre probably trying to brush it off and move on really quick by finding someone else. In a lot of cases, they find someone else before they even leave you. And sometimes, they never actually take the leap and decide to break up with you until they know its a sure thing. Sad, but true. PS: if you found out that your ex is seeing someone else from a mutual friend or from Facebook (which youre hopefully not checking anymore) You need to learn how to deal with all the feelings that come up when you find out that your ex is seeing someone else because thats part of what throws you into this whole loop of self-judgment and insecurity, wondering what does he have that I dont? or why is he with her and not me? All of that really hurts your self esteem. I share the right way to handle this situation in my advanced course, as well as what to do when you got cheated on. Theres lots of really unique dynamics to those situations and I dont want to spend too long talking about here because not everyone got cheated on and not everyone just found out that their ex is seeing someone else shortly after the break up. If youre interested in learning more about exactly what to do in those situations, I highly suggest you checkout my advanced course on getting over a break up => www.breakthroughbreakupmethod.com Ill actually share another little gem from my advanced course with you here just so you have some extra incentive to check it out and learn more about it :) So theres a great quote by Buddha that says: Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the only one that gets burned Pretty profound, huh? No matter what your ex did to you; whether thats cheating, lying, or whatever it may be you have to forgive them. I know it sucks and I know its not right, I get it.
But what sucks even MORE is holding on to all that anger and negativity The sad truth is that you only end up hurting yourself more by holding onto it. You have to let go of it and forgive your ex for what they did. At the end of the day, nothing your ex did can justify you carrying around an emotional burden that literally weighs you down and drains your energy. Its one thing to be hurt by what they did but its another thing to ruin your life over it. So dont let it eat away at your future. And whatever you do, dont let it sabotage your happiness in this moment. One of the biggest ways that we sabotage our happiness, as I shared earlier, is by beating ourselves up for all the mistakes we made. You have to forgive yourself for whatever you did (or didnt do) You need to have compassion for yourself and decide that you refuse to continue to hurt yourself this way any longer. To help you do that, I want to invite you to ask yourself this question:
What Do I Need to Forgive Myself For?

As you think about that question, I want you to write some of your thoughts down. This is crucial to your recovery By writing it down, you are giving voice to your inner world and you are letting it out. After you do that, I want you to embrace a couple very key and powerful affirmations. Affirmations are simply statements that you repeat to yourself in order to re-train your brain I know they may seem a little strange at first but they have been proven to influence your subconscious mind and produce great results (if you do them consistently) If you think about it, its really no different than what they did in school when theyd make you write the same sentence over and over on the board in order to drill it into your mind. Same principle So here are 3 forgiveness affirmations to help you heal and let go.
3 Forgiveness Affirmations
1. I deeply and completely accept myself, despite any mistakes I made in the past. 2. I forgive myself for everything that Ive done and I love myself as I am. 3. I love myself unconditionally with all my imperfections Feel free to create your own affirmations using these as a starting point. If you make them specific to what YOU need to forgive, itll be 100x more powerful. Seriously. Dont skip over this. I dont want to overwhelm you anymore by giving you more stuff to do but I just wanted to share 1 more really important thing that I talk about a lot in my advanced course.
The Sneaky Trap That Can Set People Back for WEEKS & MONTHS after a Relationship Ends
Feeling the need to revisit the relationship over and over in your head thinking: now that I know what I did wrong, I can go back and fix things Please resist the urge to do that. I know youre starting to see stuff that you didnt see before but the truth is that you guys probably didnt break up just because of that ONE reason. I know you may think youve changed and youre a totally different person now but the truth is, it doesnt happen quite that fast. If it did, everyone would constantly be getting back together with their exs and living happily ever after. Theres probably A LOT more that caused you guys to break up than the couple things you just realized.
Dont get me wrong, Im not trying to discount your new-found knowledge and wisdom. Not at all. In fact, I encourage you to continue to explore it in even greater depth so that you can extract as many lessons as you possibly can from this relationship. PS: if you want to figure out the REAL reason your ex left and learn what it really takes to make a relationship work, click the link below to check out my advanced course. http://www.WhyYourExLeft.com Whatever you do though, dont get overeager thinking that you now know what tore you guys apart and you can go back and fix things. Once again, Im not saying any of this to diminish what you learned or to try to discourage you from getting back with your ex. Im just trying to help you based on what Ive seen from years and years of experience of working with people one-on-one. So many people that Ive worked with have rushed back to their exs after going through my program, believing that they finally found the missing piece and figured it all out. And now theyve had this magical new revelation, they can go back and fix things. Well, unfortunately, it doesnt work that easily. These brave (and nave) souls have gotten rejected again and again by their exs, no matter how optimistic and hopeful they felt going into it. Not only did it SUCK to get REJECTEDAGAIN and have their hopes crushed, it actually set them back in their recovery process for a couple of weeks (and sometimes even a couple of months). Remember, rejection is a tough beast to deal with and theres nothing worse than opening yourself up and making yourself vulnerably again only to get shot down. Thats what Im trying to save you from here. So please have the wisdom and understanding to realize that it would take A LOT more than just learning a few new things to get your ex back in your arms and live happily ever after. It takes work on both peoples parts. Also, please have the wisdom and understanding to see that you need to forgive your ex for anything they may have done to hurt you. But even more importantly, please have the compassion to forgive yourself for any mistakes you made.
You both did the best you could with what you had at the time and you couldnt possibly have expected either of you to have acted any differently. Maybe you would act differently from the place that youre in right now, after you have gone through my program and really absorbed all this knowledge. However, you didnt know this at the time so how could you have done things differently back then, you know? Have some compassion for yourself. Let go of any anger that you have towards yourself and let go of any anger that you have towards your ex. Free yourself from the destructive pattern of beating yourself up over and over again over something that happened in the past. Its not doing you any good. Trust me, I know how hard this habit is to break. It was probably one of the hardest things for me to do after the break up. The good news though is that Ive already been through it and Im here to help if you need it. If you want to talk to me and get some insight on what youre still holding onto, Id be more than happy to talk to you and help you let go of it. The last thing I want is for you to spend weeks and months beating yourself up over this. If you can relate to what I shared in this section, go ahead and reach out to me and Ill show you how to break this pattern once and for all.
How to Get My Advice on Your Situation

Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] After you reach out to us, my assistant will get back to you within 24-48 hours to setup a time for us to talk. Disclaimer: due to the overwhelming amount of requests I get, I cannot personally talk to everyone that wants my advice. However, we always get back to people within 24 hours so go ahead and reach out to us and my assistant will let you know what times I have available. Im usually pretty booked up but even if Im totally booked for the week, they should still be able to get you in relatively soon. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
Section 10:
Writing A Grateful Ending

Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here. Hopefully, you had a chance to go through the last section on finding forgiveness. If you did - and you actually applied the exercise I shared with you youll notice that you now have a much cleaner slate towards your ex (and your relationship as a whole). Hopefully youve also been able to let go of any negative feelings that you have at yourself for any mistakes you made in the relationship. Its really important to do this because its only from this place that you can actually start to move on with your life and begin writing the next chapter. PS: this is something that you need to do regardless of whether you want to include your ex in the next chapter of your life or not. Before you do one or the other though, you need to do something really important. And that is: Writing The Closing Chapter to Your Relationship This is what I want to talk to you about today. I want to show you how to cohesively weave this experience into your life story in a way that will give your mind the closure that its looking for. After all, thats a big reason why all those lingering thoughts keep coming up. So what you want to do is you want to give your mind the closure and completion that its really yearning for so that you can put this thing behind you, once and for all. Once you do, then you can actually get a fresh start (which is what Im going to be talking about in the next section). Before we do that though, its really important to stop and write the closing chapter to your relationship. You need to extract the underlying lessons from the relationship and cohesively weave them into your life story in order to get closure and completion.
By the way, this is actually what a lot of therapists, coaches, and counselors do when theyre working with people one-on-one. Just to give you a little bit of an insiders look, we look at an individuals ability to cohesively weave their experience into their life story in a healthy, stable and mature way. The technical term for that is coherence. Coherence refers to your ability to cohesively make meaning out of all the events that happen in your life. To put simply, its basically your ability to weave it all together in a way that helps you make sense of what happened and move forward. So what we often do - as coaches, therapists, and counselors is were helping people find a way a different way of making meaning out of the events that happened in their life. Not only does this put things in perspective but it also builds resilience and helps people cope with things. PS: I talk about this A LOT more in the exclusive online webinar that I do for all the people that sign up for my advanced course: The Breakthrough Breakup Method If you want to attend the webinar, just sign up for my advanced course and Ill send you a private invitation to the next webinar => www.breakthrougbreakupmethod.com In any case, I hope you appreciate the added little insight there. Or perhaps that went over your head and you dont want to hear any of the underlying principles, you just want to get the thing that you can actually do right now to feel better. Regardless, I decided to share this little piece with you first because its extremely important for you to realize that: Meaning is the fabric we use to weave our entire experience of life. We are constantly perceiving, judging and assessing the things that happen in our life. We react to it by assigning specific meanings to the events that happen. And the meaning we assign to the events that happen is what ultimately shapes our experience in life. Kind of crazy to think about, huh? Some people will even go as far as saying that theres no meaning in life except the meaning you give it. In other words, there is no intrinsic meaning in the things that happen to us. Were the only ones who give it meaning.
Pretty mindboggling when you really think about it, huh? Thats why two people can experience the same thing and have two totally different experiences. For example, you can go see a movie with a friend and watch the exact same thing in the screen and have a TOTALLY different experience of it. Ever happen to you? Well, the same thing happens every day on a much deeper and more intricate psychological level. If you actually stop and realize this, you can easily take back control of your life by simply giving greater thought to the ways you assign meaning to the events in your life. Hopefully, thats something that youve already begun doing after going through some of the other articles and videos in this program. One of my goals for you, beyond just helping you deal with the break up, is helping you realize just how powerful you really are. I want you to see just how much impact you can have on your life just by controlling the meaning you give to the things that happen to you. You can totally change your entire experience of life by simply choosing where you want to direction your focus and attention to. Thats exactly what I helped you do in the section on Kicking Your Ex Off The Pedestal. I showed you how to change the meaning that you were assigning to your ex (and your relationship) in order to make easier for you to cope with the loss. It was a bit of an extreme way of redirecting your focus and attention but it was done in order to combat the highly distorted meaning that our mind gives to things after loss. Things always seem to be so much more valuable and desirable to us in the face of loss. Its like a shirt you never wear because you dont really like it. Yet, when it comes to throwing that shirt out you convince yourself that youll keep it just in case. Now I know that may be somewhat of a trivial and irrelevant analogy. I am not trying to compare your ex to an old t-shirt, I am just simply using that metaphor in order to help you see the underlying principle and why I had you change your meaning around the relationship to such an extreme degree. Its because you were under the influence of a very powerful psychological bias that we all have in our minds after we lose something. So you had to counteract it pretty strongly in order to truly balance it out.
Well, now that youve gotten some perspective on things and are hopefully no t as influenced by the various psychological biases that we all have after a break up, you are now ready to write the closing chapter to your relationship in a much more fair, balanced, and understanding way. To help you do that, I want to share a very powerful exercise that I have all my private clients do. Its called Writing a Grateful Ending If you are going to write a closing chapter to the story of your relationship then it only makes sense to make it a happy ending, right? After all, all stories are better with a happy ending. Unfortunately, a break up is usually NOT the happy ending that we see in all the movies. So when it happens, we usually have a very negative attitude towards what just happened. In fact, most people carry around a lot of anger, hurt and resentment from the relationship. Some even become very bitter because of it. Maybe youve done that in the past. I know I have to several times after my relationships. It wasnt until later in life that I really learned how to cope with th ings in a much more mature, healthy and stable way. Hopefully, thats what youve been learning to do as well in this course. I hope you let go of any anger you have towards your ex in the section on Finding Forgiveness. Hopefully, youve also let go of any negativity you have towards yourself. But heres the thing about forgiveness its REALLY hard to do. Even if you go through the exercise once or twice, there may still be some negative emotions percolating around. Thats cool. You cant expect to dissolve it all and just magically let go of it for now. Sometimes you need to take things a step further (which is what I want to help you do now) So rather than trying to remove it, I want to help you transmute it. You might be wondering: what do I mean by transmuting it? It means taking the experience and using the raw ingredients to transform it into something different something greater. One of the ways to do this is by writing a grateful ending You may feel some resistance to doing so at first and you may think that there is no possible good to take away from it.
However, through the process of writing it, you will uncover several things that you can actually be grateful for. And its through this process that you actually transmute it and dissolve a lot of the negative feelings that you have towards your ex, towards the relationship, or towards yourself as a person. So rather than removing those feelings, you transmute them by seeing them as stepping stones to a greater understanding. From this place, you can truly create an EMPOWERED BEGINNING (whether thats with or without your ex). Thats actually what Im going to be talking about with you in the next video. However, before you do that, its absolutely crucial that you take this step first. I realize that it may be a little difficult to do this exercise at first, especially if your relationship didnt have the happiest ending. However, Im really going to challenge you to find a way to derive some positive outcome from this experience. I want you to see how this relationship was a success. Yes, even if that means looking at it and saying, this break up saved me from wasting years of my life of being in a relationship with the wrong person If you didnt feel like your ex was really the right person for you or if you couldnt really see yourself spending the rest of your life with them, then the fact that you two broke up is actually a success right? It freed you up to find the person that IS right for you. You may not see that right now because youre so overpowered by pain, sadness and loneliness. However, youll be able to see this as an opportunity as time goes on. So rather than seeing this as a failed relationship, I want to challenge you to see this as a successful relationship. A failed relationship is only one that you learn nothing from Ive said it before and Ill say it again Relationships are single-handedly the #1 best vehicle for self-discovery and personal growth. Its better than reading hundreds of books or going to hundreds of different seminars (if you use it consciously and actually reflect on it).
However, even though relationships are one of the best vehicles of personal growth, very few people actually use it that way. Why? Because personal growth, like all growth, is very uncomfortable. Any kind of change is hard, especially at first. It always gets worse before it gets better. When you first workout, you get really sore the next day because you tear all your muscles. However, its the tearing that actually forces your muscles to rebuild themselves. And thats what I want to help you do today with this experience. I want to help you use this break up as an opportunity to build yourself back up better and stronger than ever. I want to help you extract all the important lessons from this relationship so that you can move forward in your life with a happy closing chapter to your relationship. To help you do that, I want to share a powerful exercise that is all about:
Writing a Grateful Ending

All you have to do is take out a piece of paper and answer these questions:
1)
How was your relationship successful? In other words, what was your relationship successful in teaching you? What did you learn about yourself? About love? About people? About relationships?
Start by writing Through this relationship, I have learned that Then go on and share all the things you learned about yourself and the world.
2) What are you grateful for?
Start by writing Thanks to this experience I am now. Do your best to keep the answers to this question positive. After all, this is supposed to be a grateful ending, right? So, what can you be grateful for? Remember, the meaning you give to the events in your life is ultimately what shapes your entire life. With that in mind, what meaning are you going to give to this relationship? Use this experience as an opportunity to become BETTER, not bitter. The truth is, most people get really bitter after a relationship ends. They start to resent their ex and some even start to regret the entire relationship. Regret is usually a sign that you didnt learn the lesson from the experience. There are lots of people who have been through some really horrible experiences in life and yet they youve heard them say that they wouldnt trade them for a thing. Whys that? Because they learned something immensely valuable from the experience. They feel like the lesson they learned was well-worth that painful experience (and it usually is)
In fact, the lesson you learn is usually a bargain compared to the price you pay. So if youre still in a place of anger or regret, its usually a sign that you havent dug deep enough to discover the lesson behind it. Once you find it, you will naturally be grateful for it. In fact, youll probably be really glad that you learned it now instead of having to live for years not knowing it (only to learn the same lesson through a much more painful experience) For example, people who get dumped by their fianc often take it so much harder because they had all these plans together. And while on one-hand that does make it much harder to deal it better now than AFTER the wedding. Think about how much more expensive, painful and complicated THAT would be? Theres tons of ways to apply this perspective in other situations too. If you just lost someone that you were dating for several years and you two were planning to spend the rest of your lives together better now before things got too serious. Imagine if this happened after you had already forked out tons of money on an engagement ring or told everybody that you were engaged. That would be MUCH more devastating. If you just got divorced, better now than later. After all, you can still go out and find someone else. May not be as easy as it was when you were younger but its definitely doable. No matter what situation youre in, find a way to be grateful for the experience. The last few examples I shared with you are the quickest way to do it. However, the most rewarding way the way that will help you make the most out of this experience will come from finding a way to take away some sort of valuable life-lesson from this experience. Theres a great quote that says:
A man's errors are his portals of discovery.
What Have You Discovered?

What have you discovered about yourself that you never knew before? What have you discovered about how you are in relationships? What have you discovered about love? These are all really important things to contemplate. The more you contemplate this, the more value youll be able to derive from this experience. Heres the thing Everyone makes mistakes, but only wise people learn from them. If you want to learn what you may have done to make your ex leave, check out my advanced course on Why Your Ex Left => www.WhyYourExLeft.com In this course, I compiled all the lessons I learned after helping thousands of people from all around the world over the past 7 years. Ive compiled all my experiences into an in-depth course that reveals the REAL reasons that people break up and what you can do to have a happy, lasting relationship in the future. If youve been struggling to understand the reason for why it ended, theres a very good reason that this program will lead you closer to the answer. If youve been having a hard time getting closure, this program will help you get it. Once you learn what I share in this course, everything will start to click Things that didnt make sense to you before will finally come together. The best part is, once you learn all these profound new insights, youll be grateful for your new-found knowledge and youll be confident that you have what it takes to make your next relationship work.
Once you find the love of your life - the person thats truly meant for you - youll see this as a crucial step that you had to go through in order to get there. This is something that my private clients tell me all the time after they met someone new. When that happens, its really easy to be grateful f or all your past relationships because you realize that they all lead you here, to being with the love of your life. However, you should be able to generate that sense of gratitude from within (without that new relationship). I want you to be able to see the positives from this experience now so that you can not only get over this and put it behind you; but so that you can bounce back from this experience better than ever, with a greater understanding of yourself, as well as love and relationships. I want you to know what it really takes to make relationships work so that you never have to go through this kind of pain EVER again. To help you do that, Ive put together a separate course that teaches you the 10 most common reasons that people break up (and what to do in the future so that you never get dumped again) Heres where you can get the course => www.WhyYourExLeft.com If you take anything away from this course, let it be this: Its A LOT better to learn this stuff now (rather than later) so that you can prepare for your next relationship and not end up in this kind of position ever again. Thats really what spurred me on this journey in the first place. I hated not having control over my love life and I hated not knowing what do. After I hit rock bottom after that first, soul-crushing breakup, I decide that I never want to feel so weak and helpless EVER again. It took me a really long time to learn and figure all this stuff out but I promised myself that once I did, I was going to share it with others. Well, after lots of hard work, its finally here. I created a program that shows what it really takes to make a relationship work. This program will show you exactly what men and women actually need in relationships on a DEEP primal level (hint: these things are radically different)
If you meet all these needs, youll become the kind of man that a woman would never even dream of leaving. If you meet all these needs, youll become the woman that a guy wil l commit to FOREVER Once you learn this stuff, hell want to be with you and only you. Why? Because youll be able to understand him on a deep primal level unlike any woman hes ever met before. Jealousy and insecurity will be a thing of the past and hell practically be BEGGING to spend time with you. PS: if youre a guy, knowing all this stuff about women will literally give you a UNFAIR advantage over every other man because so many men are completely clueless when it comes to women. Just imagine approaching women and talking to them knowing that you know exactly what to do to get them INTERESTED in you. Just imagine knowing how good itll feel when that one special woman looks at you and tells you that you make her happier than any guy shes ever met. All this is possible once you learn what men and women really want in a relationship: I reveal it all in my program here => www.WhyYourExLeft.com

If you want my advice on your situation, the best way to get it is to setup a private session with me. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected] After you reach out to us, either me or my assistant will get back to you within 24 hours to setup a time to talk. Disclaimer: due to the overwhelming amount of requests I get, I cannot personally talk to everyone that wants my advice. However, we always get back to people within 24-48 hours so go ahead and reach out to us and my assistant will let you know what times I have available. Im usually pretty booked up but even if Im totally booked for the week, they should still be able to get you in very soon. Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at [email protected]
Section 11:
Getting A Fresh Start

Hey, whats going on? Its Kevin here. In this section, I want to talk about getting a fresh start and creating a new beginning; an empowered beginning, and really living an empowered life. Now, you might be thinking, what does this have to do with anything? I just want to get my ex back or I just want to get over them and get them out of my head. Well, what Im about to share is essential in both of those cases. If you still want to get your ex back, then you have to create a NEW relationship with them (otherwise youre just going to create the same old relationship with all the problems that drove you apart in the first place). If you want ANY hope of ever getting them back, you need to get a fresh start in life and get back to feeling normal again so that you can show up in a renewed way. Now, if youre like most people and youve realized that your ex is not really good for you and its time for you to move on. this section is even MORE crucial. Why? Because you have to get a fresh start and experience what its like to live without your ex in order to truly move on. You may have gotten a glimpse of what that would be like already with the no contact rule and the period of relationship rehab. However, I want you to experience a BETTER life without them. I want you to see that you can actually be happier on your own than you were with your ex. I want you to see that your life can actually be a lot more rewarding and fulfilling without this relationship dragging you down. And even more importantly, I want you to see this as an empowering opportunity for you to create something totally new for yourself.
1) Focus on yourself like you never have before 2) Discover whats most important to you right now 3) Do whatever it takes to make a MASSIVE amount of progress towards your most important and meaningful goals. The more you progress forward in your own life, the happier youll become. However, this will do more than just make you a much happier and much more successful person. It will also help you get over the break up faster than you may have even thought was possible. Progress = Happiness and the further the past will seem). The more you fill your life with new experiences, the further away the break up will seem. By taking steps forward and making a conscious effort to create a new beginning, you will trick your mind into thinking that more time has passed than it actually has. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> If you do this, you will move on with your life A LOT quicker. Another side benefit is that once you experience how amazing it is to take back control of your life and get a fresh start, you start to take so much joy in your new life that you dont even want to go back to your old relationship anymore. You realize just how much better your life is without that toxic relationship weighing you down and you actually become grateful for the fact that they are out of your life. Think about it You now have the freedom to do whatever you want in life and you can make what you truly want out of yourself. Of course, this has always been the case but we often dont realize that until we are actually faced with a blank canvas. If youre like most people, you probably got a little comfortable and complacent in your relationship and you werent consciously growing and improving.
You were just in maintenance mode. And guess what? Maintaining a relationship takes A LOT of time and energy (especially if you were in codependent relationship or you were with someone that makes you feel like you constantly have to prove your love to them) Now that all your energy is freed up, you can redirect it back to someone who is much more deserving of all your time and attention. someone that will actually value and appreciate it someone that will never leave you. Yourself! You have to make a conscious effort to really nourish this relationship right now. After all, its the only relationship that youll ever have your entire life. Everyone else will either leave you or die. I know thats really blunt and some may even consider that to be negative but its the truth. Youre all you got (and you should learn to love what you got!) See, too often, we let a break up get us down and affect our sense of self. We feel insecure, unwanted, and unworthy. And guess what? Thats not very conducive to getting a fresh start and creating the lif e of your dreams. If youre still stuck in this rut, you need to break out of it. Dont let yourself get swallowed up by this. Dont let this make you reactive. Too often, we let life control us. We get knocked off course by various situations and circumstances. What we often dont realize though is that we actually give away ALL our power when we let external things bring us down. And what do we do when that happens?
We whine and complain about it (which only brings us down even more)
In fact, it can even reach point where you start to feel completely hopeless. This is a really vicious downward spiral that is really easy to fall into so its absolutely critical that you bust yourself out of this cycle right now. And thats what I want to help you do today I want to help you build yourself back up and rebuild your sense of self I want to help you rebuild your self-esteem and your self-worth. Like I said in the very first section of this program, breakups affect us. And when I say they affect us, I dont just mean that they affect our mood. They affect our entire identity. (And thats why its so hard to deal with it) See, when youre in a relationship with someone that youre in love with no matter who you are - you always attach a part of yourself to them. You give your heart to them. You let them shape you, affect you, and influence you. And if you were together for a really long time, you start to base who you are around them too (whether you consciously realize it or not). Whether you realize it or not, you become like the people you surround yourself with. Thats why after spending time with a certain friend youll start to pick up on each others sayings and mannerisms. You might even start to pick up on some of the same hobbies and interests. Well, the same thing goes in relationships. In fact, its even more common to modify parts of yourself when youre in a relationship with someone. Why? Because you look to them for love and approval (some more than others) If they dont like something, you have to take that into consideration.
You have to keep their preferences in mind at all times (or else youll get the wrath of their backlash, hurt and disappointment) These things can become so deeply embedded that you begin to change or modify parts of yourself just to please them. You adopt a limited range of expression in order to be sensitive to their feelings. Ideally, you should never have to do this (or at least not in any real significant way that would involve you having to compromise on any of your deepest values). Dont get me wrong, Im not saying that you should never compromise. Compromise is a crucial part of any relationship. However, you should never have to compromise who you are. If you have, then its to break free and reclaim your true self. And the next section will help you do that. Regardless, the underlying point here is that our identity can be affected very severely affected after a break up so its really important to discover who you are without this relationship.
Rediscovering Who You Are Without This Relationship

Get to know yourself and what you really like. Take out a piece of paper and spend some time journaling to rediscover who you really are and whats important to you. This will help you figure out where you want to go from here. Here are a few questions for you to explore in your journaling: 1. Whats really important to me? 2. What do I love to do? 3. What am I passionate about? 4. Whats that thing that I just CANNOT stop talking about? 5. Where do I want to go from here? 6. What new changes do I want to make in my life? 7. What is something Ive always wanted to do but never made time for? 8. Whats the first step I would have to take to explore that some more? 9. What would I have to do during the week in order to be able to carve out the time to do that thing? Answering these questions will help you rediscover who you are without this relationship. It will also help you rebuild your self-worth and your self-esteem. But even more importantly, itll help you improve your entire life. And thats what this is really all about for me. thats what fires me up! If I just did this stuff in order to help people get over a breakup, at some point, it would grow pretty tiresome for me. I mean, sure, I love helping people get over the pain after a break up and all but there is A LOT more to this than just getting over a break up.
This is about using this experience as a wake up call to improve your life and make it what you want it to be. Hopefully youve been able to grasp that as the underlying message behind everything Ive shared with you in this course. The reason I encourage you to do that is because thats exactly what I did after my first really bad break up and its what inspired to totally turn things around in my own life. I believe that breakups present a profound opportunity for transformation. In fact, theres a really great quote that I often share with a lot of my clients that says: Heartbreak presents one of the most profound opportunities for spiritual awakening that one could possibly hope for. It destroys your point of view, which is incredibly valuable. You can no longer maintain your opinion of yourself, your ex, or the way your life was supposed to turn out. Its all gone. Susan Piver
I can relate to that hardcore. After my first really bad break up, I was devastated. My heart was aching and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt drained and I didnt have the motivation to do anything. I didnt even want to get out of bed in the morning. Family members were worried about my mental and emotional state and they were pleading for me to go get counseling. I actually made an appointment with a therapist just to try to appease them. I went in for my first session but got sick of explaining the whole story all over again, especially after I had wasted hours talking about it for hours and hours with all my friends and family. I reached a point where I didnt even want to talk about it to anyone anymore. I just wanted to crawl up under a rock and forget about everything. I literally just sat at home by myself and isolated myself from the world. I was depressed and I had no idea what to do.
Then one day I got so sick of being down that I finally decided to do something about it. I picked myself up and I embraced the situation I was faced with. I was miserable, my life was a mess and whatever I was doing clearly wasnt working. It was time for a change. Day by day, I pushed myself to learn and grow a little more. I explored various selfhealing techniques and I tried everything I could find to help me deal with the break up. I began reading tons of books on love and relationships, as well as personal growth and development. I became a self-help junkie (I suppose there are far worse things to be addicted to) As time went on, I read more and more books and my search intensified. I began to question the very fabric of my being and I started asking questions like What is the purpose of life? Why are we here? Why am I alive? What am I really doing with my life?
I didnt have the answers but I was committed to finding them. I spent hours upon hours journaling and trying to make sense of my existence. (I guess you can say I was having a bit of an existential crisis) And although I didnt realize it at the time, I was actually in the midst of one of the most intense and sacred spiritual processes: the process of rebirth and awakening. Theres a great saying that goes: The two most important days in a persons life are the day they are born and the day they realize WHY they were born. The process of realizing why you were born is what I consider awakening
And not just awakening to life, but awakening to who you are so that you can become the person you were meant to be. Thats what the break up really was for me; it was an opportunity to become the person I deserved to be. I used it as a wake up call to live the life Ive always wanted. The end of my relationship helped me wake up to what was really important in life. If it wasnt for that experience - if I never hit rock bottom I would not be the person that I am today. Ever since that breakup, my entire life has literally transformed. I have a really hard time even identifying with the person I was in that relationship (not to mention who I was before that relationship). I run into old friends and they have a hard time even recognizing me. Not physically, I actually dont look all that much different physically. However, my whole mindset and attitude towards life has changed. Ive become much more positive and grateful for all that I have in my life. Ive also become much more aware of who I am, how I am, and how my behavior affects others. Ive also become much more aware of what I really want, both out of life and out of my relationships with people. Because of that, all of the relationships I had since then have been RADICALLY different. Even the type of people that I attract into my life these days are radically different as well. Thats what I mean when I say that it was really a huge change. It literally trickled down into every single area of my life. And thats what really inspired me to do this for a living. I wanted to help others through the same journey. Once I began doing this, I actually coined a clever little phrase for the journey called:
The Breakup Wake Up

Breakups are one of the few transformative times in our life that really get us to stop and wake up to who we are, what were doing, and where we want to go from here. Modern life is great but it has made us way too comfortable and complacent.
Its easy to survive and get by nowadays without really giving much thought to things. We wake up, we get ready, we go to work, we come home, we watch tv or we go online and then we wake up and do it all over again. Unfortunately, its not until some kind of tragedy happens that we actu ally stop and think about life. Sometimes it takes something like this to shake stuff up and force us to try to make sense of it. The reason I embarked on this path of helping others is to be right here with you, right here, right now, as youre trying to make sense of it all. To meet you here as a guide, as a teacher, as a friend; to share my insights with you and sprinkle in some gold nuggets of wisdom that I picked up along my own journey. I truly hope that you found this material helpful and beneficial. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to be here to guide you and support you in this time of transition. I want to thank you for allowing me into your life and absorbing my words with an open mind and an open heart. You are a beautiful person who is capable of so much more in your life. I want to celebrate you for getting this far and I want to continue to support you in any way I can. Please do me a favor and send me an email at [email protected] to let me know how its helped you. Ever since I created this program, Ive had thousands of people send me a lot of very heart-warming emails. I truly loving hear your stories and reading about all the amazing transformations youve made in your life. Its why I do what I do. So please do me a favor and write me to let me know the biggest things that you learned from this program. I poured my blood sweat and tears into making it for you and I hope you can feel that. PS: I get lots of emails from people whove gone through the program telling me:
Everything you said in your program was really insightful. Do you have anything else that can help me? What should I do next?
Well, for the longest time, the only other thing that I had to offer people was private coaching with me. And while Ive helped hundreds of people through my private one-on-one programs, I realized that I could only reach a limited amount of people that way. I could only take on as many new clients as I had space for in my schedule after my existing weekly clients. This was fine for a while, especially earlier in my career. In fact, I was actually pretty happy to be so busy that I had people waiting for weeks just to talk to me. However, at some point, I realized that too many people were falling through the cracks and not getting the help they deserve. At that point, I made a very important decision in my career. Instead of having a full practice, I decided to cut back on the number of clients I was working with so that I had more time to create other programs that would help more people than I ever could one-on-one. I had to take a short-term loss in exchange for a long-term gain kind of like you just did with your relationship. You may not see the fruits of your labor yet but trust me, you will, just be patient ;) So I took the temporary loss in clients and income in order to create more programs just like this that would eventually help more people in the long-run. I took all the things I do with clients in my private practice and I compiled it into a series of programs that will help you navigate through the next stage of your journey. It wont be quite the same as actually working with me one-on-one but its the next best thing to working with me personally. Youll see all the programs listed on the next page. PS: if youd prefer to work with me one-on-one, Id be happy to help you. Just send me an email at [email protected] or call my office at (312) 476-9416
Below youll find a collection of some of my most popular courses:
1) Can Your Relationship Be Saved?

This is the advanced break-up recovery course
2) The Breakthrough Breakup Method (Advanced Course)

This is the advanced break-up recovery course. Its designed to help you heal as quickly as possible and let go of anything youre still holding onto so that you can finally get your ex out of your head for good.
3) The Fresh Start - How to Bounce Back from a Break Up And Become A Stronger & Better You
This course is all about you; its designed to help you bounce back from a break up and find your true self so you can finally be happy again
4) Why Your Ex Left (And What You Need to Learn From It)
This is course is all about relationships and what you need to learn before getting back out in the dating world and jumping into another relationship. I actually have two separate versions of this course, one for men and one for women. In this course, Ill reveal the 10 most common mistakes that people make in relationships (and how to avoid them). Ill also show you what you need to learn from it so that you have what it takes to mak e a relationship work in the future. The truth is, a lot of these problems are preventable if you simply know what to do. Relationships require skills, just like anything else. The problem is, we never learn these skills anywhere. Thats why I created this course to help you learn it. Once you go through this course, youll have a much better understanding of what it takes to actually make a relationship work. I have 2 goals for each of these courses: The course for men is designed to help you become the man shed never leave. The course for women is designed to help you become the ONLY woman that a man would ever want to be with.
5) How to Date after Heartbreak

I actually have two separate versions of this course as well, one is for men and one is for women. These courses are designed to help you _____ A Guide On How to Love When Your Heart is Broken
6) How to Find Love Again

A Guide On How to Find Love When It All Seems Hopeless
7) Love That Lasts What It REALLY Takes to Make Relationships Work

These are private courses that are open by invitation only. If youd like to participate in any of these programs, just send me an email at [email protected] If you have any other questions, feel free to email me as well. It has been a pleasure to be a part of your journey and I wish you nothing but the best! Stay in touch and keep reading my emails ;) Kevin
Last Words
Before I go, I just want to tell you one thing I want to share why I do what I do. See, most of us just go through life doing the same thing day after day. A really bad break up is one of the few things that really gets us to stop and pay attention to whats going on for us. The reason we actually stop to do that is because - quite frankly - we feel like shit. Theres no need to beat around the bush or sugarcoat it it sucks. We feel horrible and we just want a way out of all the pain were feeling. In fact, were willing to give just about anything a shot as long as itll make us feel better. Thats when we finally open up to help and start looking for a solution. For many, this is often the very first step we take on the path to self-discovery and its usually the beginning of a journey that lasts a lifetime. I see that youve already taken the first step and Im glad weve crossed paths. I want to congratulate you for taking responsibility to get this part of your life handled and I hope the information that I provided has helped you do that. Im honored that youve instilled your trust in me and I want you to know that it has been my pleasure to serve you. If you ever need any help with anything in the future, Id be more than happy to help. Breakup and relationship coaching is just a tiny part of what I do. I also help people find their purpose in life and discover their passion so they can get paid to do what they love. I also do a lot of career coaching as well. If you want to get in contact with me about this or anything else, you can reach me at: [email protected] or you can call my office at (312) 476-9416 I wish you all the best in life! Kevin

The Breakup Cure

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

The Breakup Cure

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

The Breakup Cure

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

What is the author's background and experience?

What is the author's background and experience?

What was the author's personal experience with breakups?

What was the author's personal experience with breakups?

Want to get my advice on your situation?

Call my office at 312-476-9416 to setup a private session with me

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

The Breakup Cure

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

About the Author

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Nothing lasts forever not even your troubles.

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

How to Get the Most Out of this Course

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

How to Deal with Rejection

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

What Happens When We Get Rejected?

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Maintaining Your Dignity After a Break Up

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

How Rejection Affects Us

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Remember That It Wasnt Easy For Them To Leave You Either

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Losing Yourself in Relationships

Why Do I Really Want Them Back?.

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Because I Love Them!!!

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Love Cannot Be Taken From You

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

The Emotional Freedom Technique

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

The Emotional Freedom Technique Examples

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

The Emotional Freedom Technique Resources

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Theres No Magic Pill Except THIS

You have to work with the tide, not against it.

What you resist, persists

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]

The best way to combat rejection is through self-acceptance.

Have a question you want to ask me? Email us at [email protected]