2005 English Exam Assessment Report
2005 English Exam Assessment Report
2005 English Exam Assessment Report
The English examination assessed student achievement in the skills and outcomes indicated in the English VCE Study Design. The examination consisted of two sections. The first section (Text response) had two parts and students were required to complete one response from each part. The second section (Writing task) also had two parts. The first part concerned the analysis of language use, while in the second part students were required to complete one piece of writing in response to a choice of three different options in form and purpose. Assessment was based upon criteria and was applied holistically. Scores were awarded that reflected the assessors judgement of the whole answer and students were ranked over the full range of available marks. The descriptors of the Expected Qualities for the Mark Range EXAMINATION can be found on the VCAA website by following the link to Exam Criteria from the English Study Page. These descriptors are based on the criteria and are general indicators of what might reasonably be expected for the specified mark ranges in each section of the examination. Specificity and fine judgements are then possible when the exact characteristics of responses for any one year are analysed. Students performed capably in this examination and the paper seemed to be handled quite well. Students tended to write more and there was no reported evidence of time being a real constraint on students responses. The quality and quantity of work produced in what is an ostensibly tight time frame was impressive. There were very few incomplete answers, and solid to strong student responses seemed to be in greater abundance than in 2004. Assessors also noted that students generally displayed a better command of answer structure and many gave indications of a strong core knowledge in their answers. On the other hand, it is worth noting that: there was a disturbing and growing dependence on formulaic responses, which suggests that some students believe that rote or second-hand learning is sufficient. This is not the case. The study of English is concerned with developing students understanding and control of the English language* for competent use in a full range of personal and public situations. Active engagement with texts enables students to develop language awareness, to articulate ideas, and to develop communication skills. The English curriculum aims to address these skills as they pertain to life experiences. Clearly, a personal engagement with the texts and ideas is neither formulaic nor predictable some students did not fully engage with the actual elements of the questions. Greater care needs to be taken in analysing and recognising the specific expectations of the questions set often this comes down to a precise understanding of the actual words which comprise the task better responses used language accurately. It is as simple as that. Students were awarded marks if they used language well.
SPECIFIC INFORMATION
The student responses provided below are presented for illustrative and informative reasons, and they may form the basis of profitable discussions. These examples should not be taken as the best that is possible or as perfect; indeed none is without shortcomings of one sort or another. However, they are typical of the range expected from students who are working under examination conditions to produce a first draft piece of writing. Readers will obviously be able to make many more observations about the quality of these responses beyond the brief comments offered herein. Note: Student responses reproduced herein have not been corrected for grammar, spelling or content.
Assessor comments The student readily and assuredly focuses on the topic and appreciates the way in which first-person narrative is so powerful an influence on the reader. Throughout the essay, the student skilfully weaves in pertinent, yet not excessive, textual quotations. Each topic sentence builds on the students emerging case in a coherent and structured manner. A sophisticated and perceptive response. Occasional awkwardness in expression is apparent, but knowledge of the text informs a response that works with the topic and shows insight. The student reveals a genuine capacity to think and analyse the text, from the perspective and framework set by the topic. The following is an example of medium-scoring student response. Girl with a Pearl Earring Thank you for reminding me of how helpless I am, Does the text show Griet to be helpless?
In 17th century Delft women were restricted and were considered low members of society. Chevaliers Girl With A Pearl Earring traces Griet a young women with a weak social class who had little choice over her life which made her helpless and vulnerable. In a time when women had no say in occupation, had little education and were forced to obey their fathers Griet a young woman was born into a protestant household which was a low social class. Protestant women in 17th century were expected to fulfil duties within the home whilst the father was expected to support the family economically. Griets life wasnt ruled by riches or fashions and she was helpless to choosing a pathway in her life. She was a respectable woman who had a secret desire to move up in the world however due to her weak social class in society and her obligations toward her family her low beginnings made her helpless and vulnerable to choice. She was of working class background. Whether it be chopping vegetables for her mother so the colours dont fight or helping fulfil expectations for her family, she had little choice in life to decide her occupation or her education. Due to the unfortunate situation of her father being blinded in a kiln explosion taking his eyes and his trade Griet is left helpless and vulnerable and she is forced with little control out of the familiarity of home. She has no choice and is helpless. As she walks past every red brick house and green waterway she is made to work for the painter, Vermeer. She is defenceless and she is considered weak due to her social class. She is considered weak to her social class. She is an outsider in Vermeer household. As she gains confidence however she is absorbed into the artistic world of her master. She has little control over the tasks he makes her do. She becomes helpless and forced to assist him even though this is against her faith. He forces her to part her lips which she thought was suggestive and seductive but she had no say as a woman with her station. She confesses I begged him not to ruin me and she recognises she has little control over her situation. She is forced to uncover her hair I was not the type of woman who uncovered her hair. When Pieter reminds her theirs is not your world, you have little control over what happens to you surely you can see that, she could see how helpless she was but she was weak and insignificant and this made her trapped. Van Ruijven takes advantage of the new maid he ogles and gropes her because he holds power. She was unable to act without help or guidance dont fight me girl, youll enjoy it more if you dont fight.
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Assessor comments In a very limited and superficial manner, the student initially tries to touch upon the topic. Some sense of the text and its context is shown, but the student is unable to control this or demonstrate the depth of analysis required. While this is quite a lengthy response, there is a serious lack of knowledge about the text or control of ideas, which renders it most uneven. Needless and irrelevant detail and information cloud the ideas and the development of a sustained or connected response. Although the student continually seeks to return to the notion of helplessness, he/she is unconvincing in developing a really sustained or unified essay. The following is an example of low-scoring student response.
Stolen Although the characters in Stolen try to control their lives, the play shows that it is inevitable that they will fail to achieve that control. Discuss. In Jane Harrisons play stolen, the 5 Aboriginal characters are subjected to the stolen generation enforced by government. Throughout the play the characters try to obtain, create and have ability to play out their lives, the way then want to. But in the end they do not succeed. Jimmy is the best example of this inability to strive for freedom of his life. In the early scenes of Jimmy as a child, showing him doing what he wants, whenever he wants with no respect to authoritative figures or anyone else. This reflects the freedom and control Jimmy has to an extent that he is running his life. Not until Jimmy is arrested and inprisoned for assault has there been any inductive reason why hes not living his life the way he wants. From here on Jimmy loses the struggle to keep control of his life and slowly descends into madness. The result of him failing to keep fighting for his life, is realised when he hangs himself in his cell. Rubys unable to avoid failure in controlling her life, due to her being detained in Cranby childrens home. In the line-up scenes, she has no power of when or by who will select her, in the end a white couple select her. This is when we realise that Ruby cant do anything but go with the family. Its here where Ruby is subjected to sexual & physical abuse which affects her mental state as well. In the end she is silence and told not tell by receiving presents. However, Shirley is a character in which loses the control of her life when the 2 kids Kate & Lionel are taken away by the welfare. This is shown through quotes the big black car and their faces are small, so small. Later on in the play Shirley finds her sense of control when she is united with Kate. As you can see characters in Stolen fail to achieve the control they want of their lives, but for some such as Shirley its not all lost.
Assessor comments The student shows no real grasp of the core of this topic, inevitability of failure, preferring to simply list aspects about characters in a succession of separate and disparate paragraphs. The entire essay is far too slight and insubstantial. Vague commentary abounds rather than depth and true textual analysis. There is a lack of overall organisation. The essay is expressed in an offhand and cavalier manner.
Part 2
For Part 2, the most popular texts and their mean scores, out of a possible 10 marks, were as follows: Text % of students Average mark Gattaca 27.99 5.73 Stolen 6.82 5.33 The Curious Incident of the Dog in 6.30 4.83 the Night-Time Breaker Morant 5.52 5.64 The least popular texts for this part included The Stories of Tobias Wolff, Tess of the DUrbervilles, The Penguin Book of First World War Poetry and No Great Mischief.
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Assessor comments From the outset, the student reveals a deft and assured means of responding to the topic, interweaving textual analysis with measured conceptual thinking. A confident and assured approach is used. Although there are slips and imperfections at times, they do not detract from the clarity of the argument. Rather than sitting in isolation, the rich and careful use of text is always linked to the overall argument. The entire essay is conceptually sharp, which is the hallmark of a high calibre response. This is an extensive and expansive response, which reveals that the student appreciates the complexity of ideas and the ways in which these are explored in the film. The following is an example of medium-scoring student response.
Gattaca Gattaca demonstrates that it is better for a society to value the imperfect individual than to seek genetic excellence. Discuss. Andrew Niccols Gattaca portrays the society as a discriminatory environment where social status is determined by the quality of a persons genome. The protagonist Vincent Freeman rebels against these ideals and is represented as an individual who values the qualities not determined by a persons genes. Niccol shows the Gattaca Corporation early on as a society where everyone acts the same in thier sterile environment. Crisp suits and orderly, bland behaviour shows a world where no creativity or individuality is seen. The not too distant future is shown to be a place where a persons true resume is in their genes and warns us of the possible environment we could create for ourselves. Niccol demonstrates the genetically excellent individuals as having no aspiration or drive because success is usually guarenteed from birth. This is seen through Jerome Morrow, a disabled genetic perfection. The relationship between Vincent and Jerome is used to shows the audience the great difference between their two personalities. We first see Jerome as a sad, alcolic and reduced individual who is bitter and cynical, asserting Jerome Morrow was never meant to be one step down on the Podium. In contrast Vincent is depicted as a confident, determined individual who will do anything to achieve his dream. In this way the imperfect individual is seen as the positive and more appealing figure. Jerome seems to represent the worst side of genetic engineering and the failure it may bring. Niccol uses Vincent to challenge the society in another way. After attending a piano concert with Irene, he is surprised to discover the pianist has twelve fingers. Irenes statement that piece can only be played with twelve seems to annoy Vincent, and he replies twelve fingers or one its how you play. The pianist represents the excessive lengths humanity will go to to obtain success. Though not physically perfect, the pianist has achieved fame for being genetically engineered, and puts other normal players in the shadows. The use of a 1950s style of clothing and cars seems to emphasise the lack of creativity seen in the Gattaca society. This retro look also emphasises the film noir techniques used. The detectives are seen to be dark officers who use the evidence of an invalid hair as an
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Assessor comments This is limited as a Part 2 essay because it does not grapple with the conceptual problem of seeking genetic excellence versus valuing individuals. Initially, the student tries to establish a means of responding to the topic, but it is too limited and lacking in scope. A strong sense of the text as a film is revealed, which is advantageous to the way in which the student seeks to tackle the topic. An unevenness is seen in the way in which textual knowledge is used, including a degree of listing. The essay finishes with a disappointingly rushed conclusion. The following is an example of low-scoring student response.
Girl with a Pearl Earring This text shows that it is money rather than social class that influences the decisions we make. Discuss. The Novel Girl with a Pearl Earring shows us that money is more important, more so than social class, influencing the decisions we make every day. Griet choosing to become a maid and earn money for her family, not because she wanted to, because her dad couldnt work due to injury suffered before hand. Griet is a young girl who is naive and attractive. Later on in the novel when Griet is starting to see more of Peter and her parents invite him around, it is that he is a butchers son and to Griets family that could mean being well fed and not poor.
Assessor comments This response is brief in the extreme and totally insubstantial. It is colloquial and lacking in consistent expressiveness. The student is unable to sustain a meaningful response to the topic as given; however, the student has made an attempt to deal with the topic.
Part 1
Marks 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Average 3 2 4 9 16 21 19 14 7 3 1 % 5.2 The focus material this year was one piece of writing a magazine article. Within that one piece, however, were two very clear positions on communication, each using language designed to persuade the audience to accept the point of view of the writer. As shown by the high-scoring example below, the very best responses for this part were perhaps better than ever in their sensitivity to the power of language and their capacity to analyse the direction and techniques employed by the articles author. Unfortunately, however, the responses of many students fell short of such insight. Many still confused language use analysis with argument analysis. Some came equipped with their lists of language techniques (rhetorical question, appeal to authority, etc.) and proceeded to label these wherever they could find them some were even labelled where they did not actually exist. In some cases, the actual mnemonic that the student had memorised was written in a list on the inside script book
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Assessor comments Initially, the student shows an appreciation of the intended audience and nature of the piece under analysis. Throughout this substantial analysis, there is precise exploration and explanation of how language and strategies intentionally persuade. The student explains with assurance the more subtle underlying mechanisms of persuasion operating in The Write Stuff. Short and sharp quotations from the article are used precisely to justify and clarify the insightful commentary. There was no tendency to label or paraphrase.
Assessor comments Approaches organisation of analysis in a random fashion. Only reveals an occasional sense of the way in which language has been intentionally used in this article. The student has some sense of the task, but lacks precision of language. Tends to comment on aspects of the material rather than focusing on the impact of language. The following is an example of a low-scoring student response.
The author of The Write Stuff article leaps straight into his/her argument with a tone of anxiousness for the rapid increase of electronic communication and the loss of the traditional methods. The author continues this general tone for the duration of the article and employs rhetoric, quotational evidence, the fear of loss and a shameful tone to put together his/her argument. The author paints the office scene in paragraph two to shame the electronic efforts we go to these days, leaving your e-card somewhat pale by comparison. The authors intention is to make our modern-day, overly simple electronic efforts look almost pathetic compared with those of the more traditional methods. His/her effect is well achieved using the ugly juxtaposition of the easy option versus the more loving, time consuming one. Her next device is to ask rhetorical questions of the reader without even bothering to include the only answer we have the option of giving. Isnt it better to make a gift instead of buying one? His/her tone here aims to wake us up to the loving ideals that are slipping through our fingers with each SMS. The effect is to cause us to pause for a moment and consider what it means to convey our emotion through effective communication to those around us.
Assessor comments The hints at language-use descriptions are muddled with a pseudo-argument analysis. The essay tends to list and label language techniques rather than actually analyse. The end result is a confused and confusing answer.
Part 2
Option % Marks % None 2 0 2 Speech 28 1 1 2 4 Essay 15 3 9 Letter 56 4 15 5 21 6 21 7 15 8 8 9 3 10 1 Average 5.4
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Assessor comments A strong and clear purpose to this letter is established immediately, with a real response to the feature article. The use of supposed personal experience reinforces the view adeptly. The letter reasons with the reader in an apt and shrewd manner. Throughout the response, the voice adopted is apparent, appropriate and unified, ensuring that this is a strong response to Writing task 2. The following is an example of a medium-scoring student response.
Dear Editor, The ways in which you have expressed your views on whether technology enhances communication was an overall good point to make. However, some may believe that writing a letter always could be a little too formal for just a casual message to a friend saying hello. Writing an SMS to a friend saying Hello, how are you etc is always a good thing to get if you havent spoken to that particular person in a while. Even though it may be better to get a written letter from that friend expressing their thoughts and what not, this doesnt always happen and isnt a worry. We know many people who are guilty of writing an SMS to a friend just to say hey and its not a bad thing, at least you know that person has thought about you and taken the liberty to write to you just if its a how are you.
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Assessor comments The student fails to immediately establish a real purpose or contention, which is essential in such a piece. The letter lacks a definite or perceptible voice. The student often rambles in his/her presentation of ideas and views, and takes a haphazard approach to sentence structure. The response lacks real control of ideas and a palpable structure. The letter lapses in its form as a supposed letter to the editor.
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