Chapter 2

THE THESIS STATEMENT

The thesis statement is usually one sentence that states the aim or purpose of the essay
1. The thesis should be the strongest, clearest statement in the essay;
2. The thesis must come in the introduction
3. The thesis statement must not be a simple statement of fact
Example:
Not a thesis:

I am going to discuss the effects of radiation

Thesis:

The effects of radiation are often unpredictable

Not a thesis:

Cows produce milk

Thesis:

The milk cows produce is not always fit for human consumption

4. The thesis sentence must not be expressed as a question, for a question contains no attitude or opinion.
The answer to the question is the thesis statement
5. The thesis statement will contain controlling ideas that will be used in the topic sentences of the essay
Example:

A successful soccer coach

has four qualities

6. The thesis statement may contain an opinion or a judgement that can be explained, clarified and
illustrated in the body paragraphs of the essay
Example: My neighbour, Mrs, Brown, owns four cat; these animals present a
serious health hazard in our neighbourhood
7. The thesis in an expository essay might be written as a statement of intent if the statement indicates
that the essay that follows will explain that statement
Example: This essay will show how corn is planted and why this method of planting is successful
8. There are several principles for logically breaking down your thesis. You can break it into topics
according to causes, effects (benefits, advantages, disadvantages, results), steps in a process, types
(kinds, categories, classes), examples, points of comparison and contrast, and reasons

COMMON ERRORS IN WRITING THE THESIS STATEMENT

1. Announcements rather than statements

The Thesis

-9-

The subject of thesis paper will be my parents

I want to talk about the crime wave in our country
The baby boom generation is the concern of this essay
2. Statements That Are Too Broad
My parents have been the most influential people in my life.
Crime is a major concern of everyone in our country.
The "baby boom" generation has changed history.
3. Statements That Are Too Narrow
My parents had only one child.
In the last year there have been over twenty robberies in our neighborhood.
The members of the post-World War 11 "baby boom" make up the largest single age group in the
United States.
4. Statements That Contain More Than One Idea
My parents helped me grow in important ways, although in other respects I was limited.
The problem of overcrowded American prisons must be solved, and judges must start handing out
tougher sentences.
The "baby boom" generation has had many advantages, but it also faces many problems.
NOTE: Many descriptive and most narrative essays do not have a thesis that satisfies the requirements
of a thesis. Instead, the thesis only states the topic of the description or narration.

EXERCISE 1
Part A: Write TN in the space next to each statement that is too narrow to be developed in an essay.
Write TB beside each statement that is too broad to be covered in an essay.
1. The way our society treats elderly people is unbelievable.
2. The first car that I owned was a Ford.
3. Computers have changed our society.
4. People who eat a lot of red meat are almost three times more likely to get colon cancer than people who eat
mostly fish and chicken.
5. Action must be taken against drugs.
Part B: Write A beside each sentence that is an announcement rather than a thesis statement. Write 2
beside each statement that contains more than one idea.
6. My last car was dependable, but many American cars are poorly made.
7. The subject of this essay is daily prayer in our public schools.
8. Soap operas show many stereotyped characters, although they also portray real problems in American life.
The Thesis

- 10 -

9. I am going to write on my ideas concerning "F" grades.

10. The strangest teacher I ever had taught me a lesson I will never forget.

EXERCISE 2
Write A beside each sentence that is an announcement rather than a thesis statement. Write OK beside
the statement in each pair that is a clear, limited point which could be developed in an essay.

a. This essay will discuss the people you meet in exercise class.
b. The kinds of workout clothes worn in my aerobics class identify `jocks," "strugglers," and
"princesses."

a. I made several mistakes in the process of trying to win the respect

and affection of my teenage stepson.
b. My thesis in this paper is relationships between stepparents and stepchildren.

a. A period of loneliness can teach you to use your creativity, sort out your values, and feel empathy for
others.
b. Loneliness is the subject of this paper.

a. This paper will be about sharing housework.

b. Deciding who will perform certain unpleasant household chores can be the crisis that makes or breaks
a marriage

a. My concern here is to discuss "near-death" experiences reported by some patients.

b. There are several possible explanations for the similar "near death" experiences reported by some
patients

EXERCISE 3
Write TN beside each statement that is too narrow to be developed in an essay.
Write OK beside the statement in each pair that is a clear, limited point.

a. I had squash, tomatoes, and corn in my garden last summer.

b. Vegetable gardening can be a frustrating hobby

a. The main road into our town is lined with billboards.

b. For several reasons, billboards should be abolished

a. There are now more single-parent households in our country than ever before.
b. Organization is the key to being a successful single parent

The Thesis

- 11 -

a. In my first job, I learned that I had several bad work habits.

b. Because I was late for work yesterday, I lost an hour's pay and was called in to see the boss

a. Americans abuse alcohol because it has become such an important part of our personal and public
celebrations.
b. Consumption of wine, beer, and hard liquor increases in the United States every year.

EXERCISE 4
Write TB beside each statement that is too broad to be developed in an essay. Write OK beside the
statement in each pair that is a clear, limited point.

a. In many ways, sports are an important part of American life.

b. Widespread gambling has changed professional football for the worse

a. Modern life makes people suspicious and unfriendly.

b. A frightening experience in my neighborhood has caused me to be a much more cautious person in
several ways.

a. Toy ads on television teach children to be greedy, competitive, and snobbish.

b. Advertising has bad effects on all of society.

a. Learning new skills can be difficult and frustrating.

b. Learning to write takes work, patience, and a sense of humor.

a. I didn't get along with my family, so I did many foolish things.

b. Running away from home taught me that my parents weren't as terrible as I thought.

EXERCISE 5
For each pair, write 2 beside the statement that contains more than one idea. Write OK beside the
statement that is a clear, limited point.

a. Although some good movies have come out lately, I prefer to watch old movies because they're more
interesting.
b. Movies of the 1930s and 1940s have better plots, sets, and actors than movies made today.

a. The new architecture on this campus is very unpleasant, although the expansion was desperately
needed.
b. Our new college library building is ugly, intimidating, and inefficient

The Thesis

- 12 -

a. Among the most entertaining ads on TV today are those for mail-order products.
b. Although ads on TV for mail-order products are often misleading, they can still be very entertaining

a. My roommate and I are compatible in most ways, but we still have conflicts at times.
b. My roommate has his own unique systems for studying, writing term papers, and cleaning our room

a. Although some good movies have come out lately, I prefer to watch old movies because they're more
interesting.
b. Movies of the 1930s and 1940s have better plots, sets, and actors than movies made today.

EXERCISE 6
Complete the following thesis statements.
Topic: Reading a daily newspaper will help students
Thesis: Reading a daily newspaper will help prepare one for college classes by expanding vocabulary, by
(encourage) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . reading skills, and by providing a (culture) background necessary to interpret
conflicts and issues, the discussion of which is so important to any college classroom.

Topic: A hurricane / earthquake / flood / drought can be a real nightmare

Thesis: The 1999 flood's (devastate) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . of the ancient capital city of Hue and
Quang Nam Province in Central Vietnam provides a (terrify) image of how unexpectedly destructive a flood
can be in terms of property, individual lives, and the life of a community.

Topic: Country life vs. city life

Thesis: The benefits of living in the country (be) that it has security and peace and quietness whereas . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . benefits of city life are opportunity and glamour and excitement.

Topic: discomforts of city living

Thesis: Rising crime rates, increasing overcrowded conditions, and (grow) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . expenses
make living comfortably in a modern city difficult.

Topic: challenges facing college students who work

Thesis: Working college students face many challenges as . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . attempt to balance their
responsibilities inside the classroom with their obligations to their employer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . their
families.

The Thesis

- 13 -

Topic: How to do / make/ prepare for / to repair something

Thesis: If you want to obtain your dream score on the TOEFL test, you must learn certain important and
successful (tip) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , especially about preparation in formal classes, studying outside your
classes, and practicing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . your own.

Topic: What should you do to prepare for a job interview?

Thesis: A job applicant who makes a good impression on the recruitment officers in a job interview (have) . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . more chance of getting the job. Therefore, you must learn as much as possible about . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . company, try to anticipate the kinds of questions the interviewers might ask, choose appropriate
clothing to wear, and make sure you arrive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . time for the interview.

Topic: What a foreign tourist should watch out for when he / she first comes to your city
Thesis: As a foreign tourist who first comes to any city, you had better watch out for pickpockets and bagsnatchers in (crowd) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . places, for shopkeepers who overcharge, and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
reckless motorcyclists and taxi drivers.

Topic: The bad effects of smoking cigarettes

Thesis: Heavy cigarette smoking can make the smokers more susceptible . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . common cold
and flu; it can also cause throat diseases; and worse still, it can damage the lungs.

Topic: The changing family patterns

Thesis: Although the (tradition) family of yesterday and the modern family of today have several (similar) . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . they also have some very important differences.

EXERCISE 7
Complete the following thesis statements by adding a third supporting point that will parallel the two
already provided.
1. Because I never took college preparatory courses in high school, I entered college deficient in mathematics,
study skills, and __________________
2. A good salesperson needs to like people, to be aggressive, and __________________
3. Rather than blame myself for failing the course, I blamed the instructor, my adviser, and even
__________________
4. Anyone who buys an old house planning to fix it up should be prepared to put in a lot of time, hard work,
and __________________
The Thesis

- 14 -

5. Our old car eats gas, makes funny noises, and __________________
6. My mother, my boss, and my __________________are three people who are very important in my life right
now.
7. Getting married too young was a mistake because we hadn't finished our education, we weren't ready for
children, and __________________
8. Some restaurant patrons seem to leave their honesty, their cleanliness, and their __________________at
home.
9. During my first semester at college, I had to learn how to manage my time, my diet, and
__________________
10. Three experiences I wish I could forget are the time I fell off a ladder, the time I tried to fix my parents'
lawn mower, and __________________

EXERCISE 8
Write a thesis for each group of supporting statements. This activity will give you practice in writing an
effective essay thesis-one that is neither too broad nor too narrow. It will also give you practice in
understanding the logical relationship between a thesis and its supporting details.
1. Thesis: ________________________________________________________________________
a. My first car was a rebellious-looking one which matched the way I felt and acted as a teenager.
b. My next car reflected my more mature and practical adult self.
c. My latest car seems to tell me that I'm aging; it shows my growing concern with comfort and safety.
2. Thesis: ________________________________________________________________________
a. All the course credits that are accumulated can be transferred to a four-year school.
b. Going to a two-year college can save a great deal of money in tuition and other fees.
c. If the college is nearby, there are also significant savings in everyday living expenses.
3. Thesis: ________________________________________________________________________
a. First, I tried simply avoiding the snacks aisle of the supermarket.
b. Then I started limiting myself to only five units of any given snack.
c. Finally, in desperation, I began keeping the cellophane bags of snacks in a padlocked cupboard.
4. Thesis: ________________________________________________________________________
a. The holiday can be very frightening for little children.
b. Children can be struck by cars while wearing vision-obstructing masks and dark costumes.
c. There are always incidents involving deadly treats: fruits, cookies, and candies that contain razor blades or
even poison.
5. Thesis: ________________________________________________________________________

The Thesis

- 15 -

a. First of all, I was a typical "type A" personality: anxious, impatient, and hard-driving.
b. I also had a family history of relatives with heart trouble.
c. My unhealthy lifestyle, though, was probably the major factor.

THE THESIS STATEMENT AND THE TOPIC SENTENCES

Thesis statement:
Question:
Answer:

My reasons for coming to State University center around the services it provides
What are those services?
A superior program in my major
These will serve as the
High quality academic resources
controlling idea in
Quality student services
topic sentences
Recreational
(Reasons)

Thesis statement:

In order to make a good impression at a job interview, you should prepare well for the
interview
What should you do to prepare for the interview?
Plan your answers to the possible questions
Plan and prepare what you are going to wear
Make sure you arrive on time
(Process)

Question:
Answer:

Thesis statement:
Question:
Answer:

San Francisco and Boston are more like than people think
In what way are they alike?
They have similar architecture
They both have lots of ethnic different groups
They are both port cities
(Similarity)

EXERCISE 9
Add topic sentence(s) that will support the thesis statement printed right above
Thesis statement:
Topic sentences:

People gossip for many reasons

1. One reason people gossip is to amuse themselves
2. Another reason is to feel superior over others
3.

Thesis statement:
Topic sentences:

Smoking cigarettes is harmful to your health

1. Heavy cigarette smoking can cause throat diseases
2. Smoking can damage the lungs
3.

Thesis statement:
Topic sentences:

Jogging is not the only way to improve your circulation

1. Many have found cycling an excellent aerobic exercise
2. Another way to improve your circulation is to swim
3.
The Thesis

- 16 -

Topic sentences:
Topic sentences:

A foreign student enrolled at an American university often finds that his or

life is not such a happy one
1. The complex registration procedure is frustrating
2. It is difficult to make friends
3.

her

Thesis statement:
Topic sentences:

Children can learn a great deal from having a pet

1. They can learn about the cycle of life and death
2. They can learn about love and friendship
3.

Thesis statement:
Topic sentences:

The university of Education really makes an impression on any first-time visitor

1.
2.
3.

Thesis statement:
Topic sentences:

The canteen of the University of Education is not an attractive place to frequent

1.
2.
3.

Thesis statement:
Topic sentences:

Mr. / Ms. ................... , my teacher of (subject) , is ............................

1.
2.
3.

The Thesis

- 17 -