Jokes and Anecdotes
Jokes and Anecdotes
Jokes and Anecdotes
Sometimes we need to lighten up, not take life so seriously. And sometimes
life does not seem to offer enough circumstance for laughter as we need. So in that
regard, here is a page of humor and jokes that will lighten things up a bit. Jokes are
first and anecdotes are below.
Some of these jokes are religiously or philosophically oriented, and others are
just for fun. Take your pick. Plus we are adding more on a continual basis, so if you
have any that are good clean fun that you would like to send, be my guest. We will
add them to the page.
IN RABBIT HEAVEN
Once there was a married couple who promised each other that who ever
died first would come back to tell the other what heaven was like. It happened to be
that the husband died first. And sure enough, one evening the wife heard the voice of
her husband, and she asked him, so what was it like.
He began to describe, “Well, first I get up in the morning and have an organic
salad, then I have sex, then I eat again, then in the afternoon I have more sex. Then I
have another meal of natural food, and again have more sex in the evening before I
go to sleep.”
The wife was quite surprised at this and asked, “So that is what it is like in
heaven.”
The husband replied, “Who said anything about heaven? I’m a bunny rabbit in
Kansas.”
A YOGI’S HELL
Once a yogi who did not fulfill his vows was taken to a special hell. He was
brought to a place where he stood in front of three rooms to choose one for his place
to serve his time. He was taken to one room where he saw everyone standing on
their heads on a cement floor. The yogi imagined how painful it would be to stand on
his head on cement and then wanted to see the other room. In the next room he saw
everyone standing on their heads on a wooden floor. This wasn’t as bad, yet it would
still tough. Then he looked into the third room and saw a group of people sitting at
tables having coffee, but they were knee deep in stool. He thought this was quite
bad, but he supposed he could tolerate sitting around having coffee all day, even if
you were knew deep in stool. So he chose this room. Then the devil that was
showing him around said, “OK, just take a seat.”
So the fallen yogi walked into the room and took a seat at a table and ordered
coffee. But a minute later another guy comes in the door. He blows a whistle and
yells out, “All right everybody. Coffee break is over, back on your heads.”
DEATH OF A SENATOR
A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and
is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a
problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not
sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the guy.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you
spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend
eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf
course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other
politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening attire.
They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also
present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing
and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves
while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter
is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven."
So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time
and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your
eternity."
He reflects for a minute, then the senator answers, "Well, I would never have
said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered
with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash
and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his
neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a
great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look
miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning...Today you voted for us!"
SPINSTER SISTER
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open-heart bypass surgery. He
awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay
for his treatment.
She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health
insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have
a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not
spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Well, then send the bill to my brother-in-law."
THERE IS NO CHAIR
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a
semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and
ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and
wrote on the board:
"Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not
exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some
students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the
chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how
he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
ASHCROFT
General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school in late 2003. After the typical civics
presentation to the class, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you can all ask me
questions now."
A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?"
Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen
minutes later, the kids come back in class and again. Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry we
were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."
A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?
POTATO SACKS
This is for older people. Younger people try it at their own risk. This is working well
for me.
For those of us getting along in years, here is a little secret for building your
arm and shoulder muscles. You might want to adopt this regimen. Three days a
week works well.
Begin by standing straight, with a 5-LB. potato sack in each hand.
Extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as
you can - try to reach a full minute. Relax.
After a few weeks, move up to 10-LB. potato sacks, and then 50-LB. potato
sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-LB. potato sack in each
hand and hold your arms straight out for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level, start putting a couple of potatoes in each
of the sacks, but be careful not to overdo it...
Stay safe, be well,
DEAR ABBY
These are letters Dear Abby has admitted she was at a total loss to answer:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged
gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women
go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come
out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this
baby I'm carrying is even his.
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for
two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost,
but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted
him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Should I believe him?
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a
good Christian home turn against his own?
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week
for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for
years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.
My mother is mean and short-tempered. Do you think she is going through
her mental pause?
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him
to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he IS a doctor.
What now?
MY COMPUTER GUY
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy,
to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So,
what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error?
What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"
The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error
before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote out ........ I
D10T
I used to like Harold...
SERVICE....
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word
"service ......." The act of doing things for other people.
Then I heard the terms: Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service, Telephone
Service, Civil Service, City/County Public Service, Customer Service, Service
Stations. And I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought
"service" meant.
Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that
he was having a bull over to "service" a few of his cows.
SHAZAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those
"service" agencies are really doing to us.
A LAWYER IN HEAVEN?
There was a young couple very much in love. On the night before they were to
be married, both were killed in an automobile accident.
They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St.
Peter. After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside
and said, "St. Peter, my fiancee and I are very happy to be in heaven, but we miss
very much the opportunity to have our wedding vows celebrated. Is it possible for
people in heaven to get married?"
St. Peter looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, I've never heard of anyone in
heaven wanting to get married. I'm afraid you'll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty
about that. I can get you an appointment in two weeks from Wednesday."
Come the appointed day, the couple was escorted by the guardian angels into
the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeated the request. The Lord
looked at them solemnly and said, "I tell you what; wait a year and if you still want to
get married, come back and we will talk about it again."
A year went by and the couple, still very much wanting to get married, came
back. Again, the Lord God Almighty said, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you must
wait another year, and then I will consider your request."
This happened year after year, for ten years. Each time they reasserted their
yearning to be married; each time God put them off for another year.
In the tenth year, they came before they Lord God Almighty to ask again. This
time the Lord answered, "Yes, you may marry! This Saturday at 2:00 p.m. We will
have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will be on me!"
The wedding went off without a hitch. The bride looked beautiful. The Buddha
did the flower arrangements for which Moses wove simple yet elegant baskets. Jesus
prepared the fish course. All of heaven's denizens attended, and a good time was
had by all.
Tragically, but perhaps inevitably, within a few weeks, the newlyweds realized
that they had made a horrible mistake. They simply couldn't stay married to one
another. So they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty.
Groveling and frightened, they asked if they could get a divorce.
The Lord heard their request, looked at them, and said, "Look, it took us TEN
YEARS to find a priest up here in heaven. Do you have any idea how long it'll take us
to find a lawyer?"
Check these out.... these are actual cases. When you think that things are not going
your way... it could be worse.
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest
while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed
in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.
Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the
middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast,
some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly
as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was
dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific,
the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some
days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
___________________________________________
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The
man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the
glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and
bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance
and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of
stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the
motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with
some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the
bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.
About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband
screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and
burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The
same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they
asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started
laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell
down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
______________________________________________
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in
Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved
animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from
onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
_____________________________________________
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the
electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she chopped him
with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he
had been happily listening to his Walkman.
_______________________________________________
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to
a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose
and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly The two hopeless
protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It
came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he
opened it and was blown to bits. There now, feeling better?
THE MOTHER-IN-LAW!
A man, his wife and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While
they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can
have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for
$150.OO."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped
home. The undertaker asked, "Why? Why would you spend $5,000 to ship
your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend
only $150.00? The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here
and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
THE DHOTI
There was once a Hindu pundit who was wearing a dhoti. Seeking to ridicule the
pundit, a British person pulled on the back of the dhoti and asked the pundit what it
was. The pundit asked the suited - booted British, what was he wearing in the neck
over his shirt. The British replied, it was a Neck Tie, upon which the Pundit showing
the back of his dhoti said, "This is my back tie".
There was a noble king who offered 1000 Gold coins to anyone who composed
original Sanskrit verses. Lots of great scholars and Brahmins
came to his Assembly to present their works but every time they found that their work
was heard previously. The king had four pundits : one who was Empathy - Who
remembered after listening any thing once. Another was Dispatch - Who
remembered anything after listening twice. The third one was Tripartite - who
remembered anything after listening thrice. The fourth one was Chaturpathi - who
remembered anything after listening four times.
So every time a pundit would come and recite a Sanskrit sloka, the Ekpathi
would recite it again. Having heard it twice, the Dwipathi would say,
that this is not original as he also heard this.. and so on.. Thus, the king would not
have to give out 1000 Gold coins to any one.
Once a poor Brahmin after unsuccessfully presenting his work to the king went
to Kalidasa and sought his guidance. Kalidasa wrote him an original verse and asked
him to present it to the king. The next day, when the Brahmin went to the King's
Court and said his original sloka, none of the Pundits recited it back. So the king had
to award 1000 Gold coins and then asked the pundits why did not they recite back?
The pundit told that the meaning of the Sloka was: "O King, please return the
1000 Gold coins that your father took from my father..." If they had recited back, then
it would prove they had in fact been a witness to the king's father having taken 1000
Gold coins. And as they kept quiet, the king had to give 1000 Gold coins.
I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge, about
to jump off. I immediately ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist
Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1879, or Reformed
Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915."
PUSH
A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with
light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and
showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to
push against the rock with all his might. So, this the man did, day after day.
For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely
against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might.
Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole
day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing discouragement, the adversary (Satan) decided to
enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "You have been pushing
against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved." Thus, he gave the man the
impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts
discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the
minimum effort; and that will be good enough." So that's what the weary man planned
to do, but decided to make it a Matter of Prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to
the Lord.
"Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my
strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even
budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing? The Lord
responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you
accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your
strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you
to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent,
thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?
"Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and
brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become
massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now
surpass that which you used to have.
"True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to
push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I,
my friend, will move the rock."
**At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to
decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just a simple obedience
and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know
that it is still God who moves the mountains.**
P= Pray
U= Until
S= Something
H= Happens
SPIRITUAL COMMENTARY
How many times in our lives, had we known with certainty that something
happened in a certain way, only to discover later that it wasn't true?
How many times has our lack of trust within us made us judge other people
unfairly with our conceited ideas, often far away from reality!
That is why we have to think twice before we judge others. Let's always give
others the benefit of the doubt before we think badly of them!
SPIRITUAL COMMENTARY
That's life! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to
give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity...the adversities that come
along to bury us usually have within them the potential to benefit and bless us!
Remember that forgiveness, faith, prayer, self-confidence, determination and
hope..all are excellent ways to "SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP" out of the wells in
which we find ourselves!
A PARABLE TO PONDER...
THE TRUTH
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th
wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of
delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to
neighboring
kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.
He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind,
considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could
confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.
The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions
in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife.
Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his
luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all
alone."
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with
the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you
follow me and keep me company?"
"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word.
Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart. The sad King then asked
the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and
keep me company?"
"No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to
remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've
always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
“I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!", replied the 2nd wife. "At the very
most, I can only accompany you to your grave." Her answer came like a bolt of
lightning, and the King was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where
you go." The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was so skinny as she
suffered from malnutrition and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you
when I had the chance!"
In truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives: Our 4th wife is our body. No matter
how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good or feel good, it will leave
us when we die.
Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go
to others.
Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been
there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and
pleasures of the world.
However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go.
Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us
to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.
DID GOD CREATE EVIL?
Did God create everything that exists? Does evil exist? Did God create evil?
A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged
his students with this question: "Did God create everything that exists?" A student
bravely replied, "Yes he did!"
"God created everything?" The professor asked. "Yes sir, he certainly did," the
student replied.
The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil.
And, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we
are, then we can assume God is evil."
The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical
definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he
had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.
Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question,
professor?" "Of course," replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?" "What kind of
question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The other students
snickered at the young man's question.
The young man replied, "In fact, sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of
physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object
is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a
body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of
heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature.
Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have
no heat."
The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?" The professor
responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong, sir, darkness does not exist,
either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not
darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors
and study the various wave lengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A
simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you
know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't
this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there
is no light present."
Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?" Now
uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it
everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude
of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else
but evil."
To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist
unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word
that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is
the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.
It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when
there is no light."
The professor sat down.
The young man's name - - Albert Einstein....
BE CAREFUL HOW YOU RECEIVE YOUR BLESSINGS
A young man was getting ready to Graduate College. For many months he had admired a
beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and
knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day
approached, the young man awaited signs that his
father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his
private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much
he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed
the young man opened the box and found a Holy book Srimad Bhagavad Geeta. Angrily, he raised his
voice at his father and said, "With all
your money you give me a Srimad Bhagavad Geeta?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book. He never contacted his father again for a long time.
Many years passed and the young man was
very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and a wonderful family, but realized his father
was very old and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation
day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed
away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take
care of things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He
began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Srimad Bhagavad Geeta, just as
he had left it years ago.
With tears, he opened the Srimad Bhagavad Geeta and began to turn the pages. As he read
those
words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Srimad Bhagavad Geeta. It had a tag
with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the
date
of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss GOD'S blessings because they are not packaged as we
expected? If this touched your heart, please pass it on, does not matter what religion you belong
to...the message is for everyone.