Grit
Grit
PhilosophersNotes
TM
Grit
Gritty Passion
Wise Parenting
Why were the highly accomplished so dogged in their pursuits? For most, there
was no realistic expectation of ever catching up to their ambitions. In their own
eyes, they were never good enough. They were the opposite of complacent. And
yet, in a very real sense, they were satisfied with being unsatisfied. Each was
chasing something of unparalleled interest and importance, and it was the chase
as much as the capturethat was gratifying. Even if some of the things they had to
do were boring, or frustrating, or even painful, they wouldnt dream of giving up.
Their passion was enduring.
In sum, no matter the domain, the highly successful had a kind of ferocious
determination that played out in two ways. First, these exemplars were unusually
resilient and hardworking. Second, they knew in a very, very deep way what it was
they wanted. They not only had determination, they had direction.
It was this combination of passion and perseverance that made high achievers
special. In a word, they had grit.
~ Angela Duckworth from Grit
Angela Duckworth is the worlds leading authority on the science of grit. In fact, she pioneered
the field and, as Daniel Gilbert says on the cover: Psychologists have spent decades searching
for the secret of success, but Duckworth is the one who found it.
What is grit?
In essence: Its the combination of intense passion + intense perseverance toward a long-term
goal that matters to you.
In this great book, Angela connects her research to a bunch of the other positive psychology
luminaries we featureranging from Martin Seligman (her mentor at Penn) and Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi to Anders Ericsson, Gabrielle Oettingen, Carol Dweck.
Plus, she shares a bunch of inspiring stories about grit paragons while walking us through the
key aspects of grit and teaching us how we can cultivate grit in our lives and in the lives of those
we love and lead.
This is one of those books that I think is a MUST READ if youre serious about optimizing +
actualizing while helping others do the same. Its my new favorite for 2016. I think youll really
love it. (Get a copy here.)
As you can imagine, the book is packed with a bunch of Big Ideas. Im excited to share a handful
of my favorites we can apply to our lives today so lets jump in!
P.S. You may have already seen Angelas TED Talk. If not, check it out here!
PhilosophersNotes | Grit
As Angela says: Half of the questions were about perseverance. They asked how much you
agree with statements like I have overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge and I
finish whatever I begin.
The other half of the questions were about passion. They asked whether your interests change
from year to year and the extent to which you have been obsessed with a certain idea or
project for a short time but later lost interest.
Passion + Perseverance.
Grit.
If you want to make it through the Beast challenges in your life, youd be wise to cultivate it.
Lets explore how.
PhilosophersNotes | Grit
PhilosophersNotes | Grit
As Angela says, their passion is less like fireworks that come intensely and then fade away and
more like a COMPASS that guides every moment of their entire lives.
They dont run around chasing one goal after another; they have an ultimate concerna top
level goal that drives all the other goals.
They have their ONE Thing that Gary Keller describes so powerfully and they are willing to be
seen as obsessed Grant Cardone 10x Rule-style.
Heres an example of a grit paragon that Angela shares: Tom Seaver. Tom is a Hall of Fame
pitcher who received the highest-ever percentage of votes: 98.8. (Wow.) He pitched for 20 years
and racked up some crazy stats: 311 wins, 3,640 strikeouts, 61 shutouts, a 2.86 lifetime ERA.
Heres how he approached his ultimate concern/ONE Thing goal to structure everything he did
in his life: Pitching . . . determines what I eat, when I go to bed, what I do when Im awake.
It determines how I spend my life when Im not pitching. If it means I have to come to Florida
and cant get tanned because I might get a burn that would keep me from throwing for a few
days, then I never go shirtless in the sun. . . . If it means I have to remind myself to pet dogs
with my left hand or throw logs on the fire with my left hand, then I do that, too. If it means
in the winter I eat cottage cheese instead of chocolate chip cookies in order to keep my weight
down, then I eat cottage cheese.
Reminds me of the Black Hole Focus Idea we talk about in Purpose 101.
And, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares the same wisdom in his study of the most eminent
Creators. See the Notes on Creativity where he tells us: After creative energy is awakened,
it is necessary to protect it. We must erect barriers against distractions, dig channels so that
energy can flow more freely, find ways to escape outside temptations and interruptions.
Spotlight on you: Do you jump from thing to thing to thing, following your passion fireworksstyle? Or, are you guided by a deep, abiding passionan ultimate concernthat serves as a
compass for all you do?
Lets get gritty with our passion. Lets find the thing thats worthy of us and give ourselves to it.
P.S. Angela makes the important point that she has one ultimate concern for her professional life
AND shes committed to being an extraordinary mother to her two daughters. Super inspiring:
... my top-level, life-organizing goal is, and will be until my last breath: Use psychological
science to help kids thrive.
P.P.S. In this section, Angela talks about Gabrielle Oettingens work on Rethinking Positive
Thinking. Check out the Notes + Interview and remember to WOOP! :)
In fact, when people drop out of things, they do so for a reason. Actually, they do so for different
reasons. Any of the following four thoughts might go through your head right before you quit
what youre doing:
Im bored.
The effort isnt worth it.
This isnt important to me.
I cant do this, so I might as well give up.
Theres nothing wrongmorally or otherwisewith thoughts like these. As I tried to show in
this chapter, paragons of grit quit goals, too. But the higher the level of the goal in question, the
more stubborn they are about seeing it through. Most important, paragons of grit dont swap
compasses: when it comes to the one, singularly important aim that guides almost everything
else they do, the very gritty tend not to utter the statements above. ...
PhilosophersNotes | Grit
In my grit lexicon,
therefore, purpose means
the intention to contribute
to the well-being of others.
~ Angela Duckworth
Together, the research reveals the psychological assets that mature paragons of grit have in
common. There are four. They counter each of the buzz-killers listed above, and they tend to
develop, over the years, in a particular order.
We all quit things. (And, as we discuss in Born for This, that is often the wise thing to do.) But...
The grittiest among us DONT quit the compass-driven top-level ultimate concern goals. Thats
what makes them gritty.
Angela tells us there are four psychological assets we can cultivate to get our grit on. Here they
are: Interest + Practice + Purpose + Hope.
Interest: If we want sustainable passion, we need to be intrinsically drawn to what we do. It
needs to fire us up. We need to love it. We all have facets of what we do that arent particularly
awesome, but were just not going to put in the effort over the long run unless we, like the grit
paragons, have an enduring fascination and childlike curiosity and practically shout, I love
what I do! (< Do you?)
Practice. Angela talks about Anders Ericssons research on deliberate practice (and juxtaposes
+ integrates it with Csikszentmihalyis work on Flow in a super cool way) and points out that one
key aspect of perseverance is the ability to discipline ourselves to show up every.single.day with
an attitude of Whatever it takes, I want to improve! (See the Notes on Peak for more!)
Purpose. Purpose is all about seeing that our work matters in the world. Its essential that we
love what we do, but were not going to sustain our interest over the long run if its just about us.
We need to make the connection to something bigger than ourselves. Angela tells us that fully
mature exemplars of grit invariably tell her: My work is importantboth to me and to others.
Hope. Hope defines every stage of grit. Its the rising-to-the-occasion kind of perseverance in
which we KNOW that we have the ability to achieve what we set out to do. If we stay down, grit
loses. If we get up, grit prevails. (Check out our Notes on Making Hope Happen for more on
the science of hope.)
Interest + Practice + Purpose + Hope.
How are you doing with each of those assets? Whatre you rockin? What can you optimize?
Indeed, over the past forty years, study after carefully designed study has found that the
children of psychologically wise parents fare better than children raised in any other kind of
household.
In one of Larrys studies, for example, about ten thousand American teenagers completed
questionnaires about their parents behavior. Regardless of gender, ethnicity, social class, or
parents marital status, teens with warm, respectful, and demanding parents earned higher
grades in school, were more self-reliant, suffered from less anxiety and depression, and were less
likely to engage in delinquent behavior.
Thats from a chapter on Parenting for Grit in which Angela walks us through the virtue of Wise
Parenting (vis-a-vis Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting and Neglectful Parenting).
Heres the short story: Wise Parents are BOTH warm AND demanding. They have high
standards AND total support. On the other hand, Authoritarian Parents have high standards but
low warmth. Permissive Parents have high warmth but low standards. Neglectful have neither.
(See Micro for more.)
So, Wise Parenting is a good idea. But, if you really want to cultivate grit in your kids, YOU must
embody the qualities of grit. YOU need to have passion + perseverance for your own life goals.
... Do you? :)
PhilosophersNotes | Grit
To be gritty is to keep
putting one foot in front of
the other. To be gritty is to
hold fast to an interesting
and purposeful goal. To be
gritty is to invest, day after
week after year, in challenging
practice. To be gritty is to
fall down seven times, and
rise eight.
~ Angela Duckworth
P.S. Did you know the Latin root of the word parenting literally means to bring forth? To
bring forth potential. Thats our job. Not just as parents, but as teachers, coaches, and leaders.
P.P.S. As part of their Wise Parenting practice, Angela and her family have what she calls The
Hard Thing Rule. In short, everyone in the fam picks something challenging that theyre
committed to mastering. For Angela, its her psychological research. For her husband, its his
real estate development. For their daughters it includes things like ballet and piano.
Three rules: 1. You need to deliberately practice daily. 2. You can quit but not until the season
is overno quitting on a bad day mid-way thru. Gotta finish. 3. You pick your hard thingyou
need to be intrinsically interested in it! (Might be cool for your family? Definitely for ours! :)
Brian Johnson,
Chief Philosopher
Brian Johnson loves helping people optimize their lives as he studies, embodies
and teaches the fundamentals of optimal livingintegrating ancient wisdom
+ modern science + common sense + virtue + mastery + fun. Learn more and
optimize your life at brianjohnson.me.
PhilosophersNotes | Grit