1) (D.M.s choice, ex. salt) gets in your eye, you scream, "Danny I'm killing my eyes!

"
You're at disadvantage on all rolls until the end of your next turn. Everyone in your party
is like "Who is Danny?"
2) Suddenly you remember a suppressed memory (D.M.s choice, ex. that weird
experience with your uncle, or the thing those goblins did to you) and must use your
bonus action to sob heavily, while people stare.
3) You swing wildly and sever your own (roll d8 1) left foot 2) right foot 3) left hand 4)
right hand 5) left arm 6) right arm 7) left leg 8) right leg.) and take your weapons damage
including any bonuses as well as losing any equipment held or attached to said limb.
(sword, shield, boot, ring, etc.) You have an overwhelming urge to blame Matt for this.
4) You slip and fall prone, skinning your knee. It sure does smart. You remain prone,(pg
292 p.h.b.) wondering where it all went wrong until the beginning of your next turn.
5) Oh snap! Something breaks or is otherwise destroyed (D.M.s choice) armor, weapon,
backpack, etc. That's going to cost you time and money, thanks Obama!
6) (D.M.s choice) strikes you and you fall unconscious (pg 292 p.h.b.) for 1-D3 rounds,
(you wake on a DC 10 constitution save. You may make 1/round starting at the
beginning of your next turn) and you must use your bonus action to will your big toe to
wiggle.
7) You pull a hammy and are at half your movement speed for 1-D4 rounds.
8) You're movement causes your clothes to tear, exposing your little soft bits, everyone
sees. Make a intelligence check, (DC 10) if failed you are at disadvantage for all rolls
until the end of your next turn.
9) Face plant! You take 1 D-8 damage, and must use half your movement to stand.
10) Eye poke! You take 1 D-6 damage.
11) Groin pull! You take 1 D-4 damage.
12) You have a horrible case of bed head, your hair basically looks like you tried to cut it
with a torch. Your action fails, and you must use your bonus action to fix your hair.
13) In the middle of your action, you fart loudly, (you are at disadvantage for all charisma
rolls for 1-D4 rounds) and any friendly creature within 5 ft must shift 5 ft away from you
on their turn.
14) You think about loves lost, (players choice, ex. Susanne, Ronda, Big Carl) and must
use your bonus action to hum Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" quietly to yourself.
15) An event (D.M.s choice, ex. Insulting social miscues, taboo words spoken, offensive
dress.) causes you to be the target of all attackers within range (at half damage) until the
beginning of the players next turn.
16) You bite your tongue doing 1hp damage and you must speak with a swollen tongue
for 1-D4 days. (D.M. make them do it!)
17) You inadvertently blurt out an embarrassing secret about yourself (D.M.s choice ex.
"Sometimes I sleep with two pillows, one is for my head the other I hold so that I can
imagine what it's like to really love someone.") it is now cannon.
18) You get tummy trouble make a Constitution save (DC 10) or you poop a little.
19) You hit your funny bone. Your arm feels weird and you do half damage on all attacks
until the end of your next turn.
20) A pebble gets in your shoe. It's highly annoying and you are at disadvantage for all
dexterity rolls until the end of your turn.
21) You have a little daydream mid attack, and one creature (D.M.s choice) has
advantage against you on its next attack.
22) The action you attempt looks super dumb. Everyone thinks you're on the spectrum.
(this is now canon)
23) Your attack looks really cool, and should remember it, for like paintings or
something. However you miss by a wide margin giving one creature within range
advantage on you until the end of your next turn.
24) You develop a stutter and are at disadvantage on all spell casting, and charisma
based skill checks until the end of your next turn. Your party has the option of calling you
"The King's Speech" or something similar.
25) Make them roll a % dice, look at random papers, or books and say "interesting." You
can use their roll as a reroll on this chart, or try and fake them out.
26) Make them roll a % dice, look at random papers, or books and say "interesting." A
bad thing happens (D.M.s choice, ex. In the future the player is hunted by bugbear
assassins, ect.) happens later.
27) Make them roll a % dice, look at random papers, or books and say "interesting." A
bad thing (D.M.s choice, ex. You hit your reproductive thing. Good job, you're sterile
now.) happens immediately.
28) An opponent yells an insult at you (D.M.s choice, ex. "Your mom is a poor judge of
character, and an even worse cook!") make a charisma check save (DC 10) if failed you
are at disadvantage for all charisma based abilities until the end of your next turn.
29) An opponent within range grapples (pg 290 p.h.b.) your butt, make a strength check
(DC 10) if failed you are at disadvantage for all strength based abilities until the end of
your next turn, because your butt is grappled.
30) An opponent, mid battle, poses you a question,(D.M.s choice ex. "When will then be
now?") make a wisdom check (DC 10) if failed you are at disadvantage for all wisdom
based abilities until the end of your next turn.
31) An opponent, mid battle, uses a bonus action to throw a tennis ball at you while
screaming "Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!" Make a dexterity check (DC 10) if failed you
are at disadvantage for all dexterity based abilities until the end of your next turn.
32) You knock the wind out of yourself, and you make a Howard Dean career-ending
sound, "Eeeeeyyyaaaaaah!". You suffer 1 level of exhaustion (pg 291 p.h.b.) for 1-D4
rounds.
33) You remember an old joke, it pleases you greatly. You must use your bonus action
to chuckle quietly to yourself. To the laymen you appear to be mentally ill.
34) As you attack, you try out your new battle cry (player's choice ex. "For the unicorn
maiden!") your opponent thinks you are, super dumb. He gets advantage on you until the
end of your next turn.
35) You think you see a g-g-ghost and must make a wisdom check (DC 10) or you are
frightened (pg 290 p.h.b.) for 1-D4 rounds.
36) An opponent spits into your eyes, make a dexterity check (DC 10) or be blinded (pg
290 p.h.b.) for 1-D4 rounds. Also see a cleric cause you probably just got hepatitis C.
37) As you attack your opponent complements you, (DMs choice, ex. "Nice shoes, nice
moves, nice attitude, player.") make an intelligence check (DC 10) or be charmed (pg
290 p.h.b.) for 1-D4 rounds.
38) As you attack your (foot/arm, ect) gets caught by (DMs choice ex. root, vine, rope)
and you are restrained (pg 292 p.h.b.) for 1-D4 rounds.
39) Your mighty blow strikes your own armor with such velocity it causes you to suffer
deafness, (pg 290 p.h.b.) for 1-D4 rounds. Roll a % dice for tinnitus. (Below 50 OK
above 50 tinnitus, and you now need to sleep with a fan on.) Canon.
40) You smell something horrible/very pleasant (D.M.s choice ex. perfume, food, poo,
death, or literally anything) causing you to be stunned (pg 292 p.h.b.) for 1-D4 rounds.
41) You can't even, right now. You may not take any actions until the beginning of your
next turn.
42) During your attack you step in some type of feces, and must use your bonus action
to identify it. (D.M.s choice) The party may elect to call you "detective diarrhea", or
something similar. Cannon.
43) During your attack you remember a past sexual conquest, (player's choice, ex. oooh
the farmer's daughter) and must use your bonus action to mentally high five yourself.
44) Your wild vicious attack misses, make a strength save (DC 10) or loose grip of your
weapon and it's thrown 10 ft/2 spaces away from you.
45) You attack wildly, and like a total jerk, hit the ally nearest to you. (roll for damage and
add all modifiers) If there are no allies within your range nothing happens.
46) One opponent (D.M.s choice) thinks you are a push over. "You are the women's
bits!" He/She bellows, and creature takes half damage from all of your attacks for 1-D4
rounds.
47) "I don't think he likes you." You become your opponent's hated enemy, (D.M.s
choice) it can only attack you for 1-D6 rounds and receives +3 (as well as any other
bonuses) to any damage dealt to you within said rounds.
48) Your failed attack leaves you wide open, one opponent (D.Ms choice) may attack
you twice on its next turn.
49) You get a Charlie Horse and are at half your movement speed until the end of your
next turn.
50) One opponent (D.M.s choice) due to your last action,(D.M.s choice) automatically
crits on any one attack made against you before the beginning of your next turn.
51) Most people don't know that you are a secret poet, during your attack you are struck
with sudden inspiration and must use your bonus action to write down your idea.
52) Mid attack, you straight up eat a booger, "Ted Cruz" style, everybody sees it.
(cannon)
53) Your attack is so poorly executed that your fellow adventures laugh loudly at you,
take 1 HP emotional damage.
54) You stumble make an athletics or acrobatics check of (DC 10) or fall prone (until the
beginning of your next turn) and take 1 D-4 damage. If you fail, your party has the option
to call you "Stubblin' Stanley" or something similar.
55) Somehow (D.M.s choice) you knock your own tooth out. Now it seems like people
treat you different.
56) You spontaneously combust, take 1-D6 fire damage.
57) When you attack, you make the same sound as a lady tennis player. (this is now
canon.)
58) You can't stop thinking that your opponent looks familiar to you. You are at
disadvantage against him/her until the end of your next turn.
59) You think about dogs, and must use your bonus action to think about how many
breeds dogs come in, as well as the many services they provide.
60) During your attack you split the seat of your pants, and you are embarrassed.
Everyone sees your dirty little butt.
61) One of your opponents (within view) is either hideously deformed or has a grotesque
wound, ext. (D.Ms choice) You must make a Constitution save (DC 10) or become
physically ill.
62) You develop a mighty powerful hunger, and you need vittles stats, make a (DC 10)
Constitution save or you faint and fall prone. You are unable to take any actions until the
end of your next turn.
63) An insect bites you, you must use your bonus action to scratch the bite or shoo the
insect away. You now fear (pg. 290 p.h.b.) insects, and are at disadvantage on attacks
against any type of insects, not arachnids, insects. This is now canon.
64) Your greatest fear is realized as you watch your attack miss, you must wait until your
next turn to attack again. (even if you have the option for more attacks this round)
65) Mid attack you ponder a career change, you must use your bonus action to
contemplate what your life would be like if you were a farmer or a merchant.
66) You think about the sea, what's out there, what secrets does it hide? You now have
an irresistible urge to visit the sea. (this is now canon)
67) Your carpal tunnel is acting up again. You can only clench and unclench your fist
until the beginning of your next turn.
68) In this moment for just an instant you kinda wish you were a halfling, you know
cause they reroll all 1s.
69) As your attack misses you think about all of life's many ups and downs, and how it's
OK that you miss because hey, no one's perfect. From now on during all rests (long and
short) you must preform a daily affirmation, because, you're good enough, you're smart
enough, and doggonit people like you. You also must purchase a mirror if you do not
already have one. (This is now cannon)
70) Your "tennis elbow" flares up again. You do half damage on all attacks for 1-D4
rounds.
71) As you attack, you must ask yourself "what is the measure of a man?" Because
clearly you have no idea, you missed by a yard.
72) Somehow you step on your own foot, you're movement speed is halved for 1-D4
rounds. Your party has the option to call you "Tenderfoot", "Twinkle Toes", or something
similar.
73) You make a "rookie mistake" while handling your weapon (D.M.s choice, ex.
confusing the business end, over correction, taking your eye off the target) Not only do
you miss but you suffer 1 H.P. embarrassment damage.
74) As you attack you are somehow cursed with a phobia, (D.M.s choice, ex. a god does
it, psychological break, bad prior experiences) roll 1-D61 clowns2 the opposite sex3 fire4
meat5 intimacy6 darknessEach time you encounter your phobia you suffer the effect of
fear (pg 290 p.h.b.) until remove curse is cast upon you.
75) Mid attack the D.M. "railroads" you into "magically" changing your character's name
to (D.M.s choice, ex. Jerry, Aloysius, or Fat Opie Duchesne) this is now canon until you
are able to reach a city with the proper bureaucracy to enable an official name change.
76) That was a terrible roll, you should shame your dice on Facebook in the 5e page.
77) Suddenly you smell burning toast, use your bonus action to make sure you're not
having a stroke. (Roll a % dice, under 90 no stroke 90 and above stroke for 1-D4 rounds.
stroke=incapacitated pg 290 p.h.b.)
78) While giving your player your best "Dad look" ask him "what do you think your
punishment should be?" Then do that, or don't because you're the D.M.
79) You have a violent sneezing fit mid attack, you must be allergic to something near
you (D.M.s choice ex. pollen, animal dander, bullshit) this is now canon.
80) A droplet of sweat rolls into your eye, it sure does sting. You should probably wear a
head band or something to prevent this, but you just know your companions would make
fun of you.
81) As you miss you realize this is all part of the old Gypsy woman's curse. (D.M.s
choice, ex. You will occasionally miss, or you will botch your attack against blank
opponent, or you finger bends the opposite way now, or you kinda always need to pee.)
This curse is now canon.
82) Your attack is so poorly executed that your fellow companions decide to give you a
horrible nickname. (parties choice ex. Sir Missalot, the Human Botch, the Imperial Aimer)
This is now canon.
83) Lightning Bear finds you lack of faith disturbing, take 1-D6 lightning damage.
84) Your attack bounces harmlessly off your opponents armor, and he/she gives you the
old stink eye. Take 1-D4 stink eye damage.
85) Sing the D.M. a song, player's choice, you have to the count of 5 to begin.
1...2...3...4...5 go right now, or take 2-D12 damage.
86) As your attack misses you notice that the rash you've been ignoring has spread. You
must take your bonus action to scratch. (this is now canon until a cleric castes "remove
curse" on you)
87) As you miss, your consciousness is split by a god (D.M.s choice, probably a trickster
god) and you live an entire life. Birth, school, wife, kids, career, retirement, death within a
split second. (D.M. Explains) then blinking you become aware that it is no longer your
turn.
88) The profits told of a creature that would one day come and miss his/her attack.
Behold it's you. Prophecy fulfilled. (mic drop)
89) As you attack, your small clothes bunch uncomfortably about your swim suit area,
take 1-D4 special damage to your soft bits.
90) The stress of an adventure's life is starting to take it's toll on you, roll a D-61 partial
baldness2 night terrors3 paranoia (of player's choice ex. cats, wind, government
corruption.)4 food allergy (D.M.s choice)5 hallucinations/vivid dreams (at D.M.s
discretion)6 uncomfortably weird old adventuring buddy you can't seem to shake (this
may not happen immediately)Whatever you rolled is now canon.
91) As you attack you hear an ethereal voice whisper "If you build it, they will come." in
your ear. You have no idea who they are, or what it is, but you are now obsessed. (this is
canon)
92) Mid attack you develop a crippling case of the hiccups, you now do half damage on
all attacks until the end of your next turn.
93) As you attack, you pull a muscle in your lower back. Your movement speed is halved
for 1-D6 rounds, and an opponent sarcastically says to you "cool walk bro!"
94) Oh boy, you dropped your keys, better use your bonus action to pick them up.
95) You smack yourself real good for 1-D6 damage, but you can now smell colors. (this
is now canon)
96) Something unexpectedly arouses your labido (D.M.s choice) you must use your
bonus action to question you own sexuality. This sets you on a path of sexual discovery,
a no holds barred journey into debauchery, that is now canon.
97) As you attack, your opponent "body shames" you, take 1-D4 ego damage, and
receive an eating disorder, (bulimia or anorexia players choice) this is now canon until
you get 1-D8 hours therapy at any location where that service is available.
98) As you miss you think of Hagglin' Dan, you've heard many rumors surrounding this
mysterious individual. Is he a god? A dragon in human form? You must know! Your
obsessive hunt for this elusive crypto is now canon.
99) As your attack is about critically injure your target, a beautiful maiden of light and
mist appears. She easily blocks your blow. In an ethereal voice, she states. "Do not kill
this creature, be merciful and spare it, for I yet have tasks for it that remain
unaccomplished." Everyone sees this. The creature is compelled to follow the maidens
call and will no longer attack. He/she may also ask your aid in this endeavor, the choice
is up to you. (D.M. note: if the player chooses to kill the "blessed" creature, the maiden
deity will bestow her quest upon the killer. If said player refuses the quest, he/she will be
killed out right by the maiden goddess.
100) Make a dexterity check, (D.C. 10) or you straight up, kill yourself. If you fail the
check, you must make a new character at the same level. Using the same ability scores,
(not necessarily in the same order) and all XP acquired beyond the new character's
current level is also transferred to the new character.