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Revision Checklist: Improving Your Paper

What this handout is about

This handout presents questions that will help you revise and strengthen your own paper and
continue writing through the challenges of the revising process. It offers explanations of key
elements in a paper such as what a thesis is and how to improve flow and coherency. For more
information on revising and editing your paper, see the book listed below.

This handout was adapted from the third ed. of the book Working It Out: A Troubleshooting
Guide for Writers by Barbara Fine Clouse.

Introduction: Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Paper

Content / Focus (See Section 1 for more detail)

o Does your writing have a clear thesis, either stated or implied that accurately presents
your focus?
o Does every point in your writing clearly relate to that thesis?
o Are all your generalizations, including your thesis, adequately supported?
o Are all your points well suited to your audience, purpose, and role?
o Have you avoided stating the obvious?
o Does your introduction create interest in your topic?
o Does your conclusion provide a satisfying ending?

Organization / Structure (See Section 2 for more detail)

o Do your ideas follow logically one to the next?

o Do your paragraphs follow logically one to the next?
o Do the details in each paragraph relate to the topic sentence?
o Have you used transitions to show how ideas relate to each other?

Expression / Style (See Section 3 for more detail)

o When you read your work aloud, does everything sound all right?
o Have you avoided wordiness?
o Have you eliminated clichs (overworked expressions)?
o Have you used specific words?
o Did you use a variety of sentence openers?
o Have you used the active voice?
o Have you used action verbs rather than forms of be?
o Have you used parallel structures?

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Creditability (See Section 4 for more detail)

o If there is a title, is it informative and appropriate?
o Are credible sources and evidence used? Is the supporting material suitable and
persuasive? Does it adequately support the thesis?
o Are quotations and paraphrased and summarized passages properly introduced with a
o signal phrase?
o Are visual materialstables, figures, charts, maps, and the likeintroduced before they
appear in the text?
o Are long quotations set off from the text? (block quoting)
o Is proper credit given to sources throughout?
o Does the paper consistently adhere to the style used (MLA) in format and in
documentation, both within the text and at the end of the text?
o Were the instructions for the assignmentlength, number and kinds of resources, etc.
followed carefully?

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Section 1: Content / Focus

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement proclaims what you believe and what you plan to prove. A good thesis
statement makes the difference between a thoughtful research project and a simple retelling of
facts. It is often a claim that others might dispute. If it cannot be disputed, then it is only a fact.
For instance, stating that President Bush of the United States led us in times of peace and war is
nothing more than a fact. Making a claim that President Bush of the United States failed to lead
our country during his term at war due to X, Y, & Z reasons would equal a working thesis that
could be disputed.

A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic,
of an essay might be a specific novel such as The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. A thesis must
then offer a way to understand the novel. For instance, justice and honor are notable traits in the
story; making a proposal about what makes these traits important and how the novel interprets
the traits in the characters to show their importance would become the thesis.

What does a thesis statement do?

A thesis statement:

1. Tells the reader how you will interpret the meaning of the subject matter under
discussion.
2. Is a road map for the paper telling the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.
3. Directly answers the question asked of you.
4. Makes a claim that others might dispute.
5. Is usually a single sentence within the first paragraph that presents your argument to the
reader.

Note: The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will
persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation

How do I get a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Before you develop an argument on any topic,
you have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts
(such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these
relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a "working thesis," a basic or
main idea, an argument that you think you can support with evidence but that may need
adjustment along the way.

Brainstorming and free writing are two ways to stimulate thinking and to help clarify
relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis statement.

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How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there's time, run it by Mr. Bradley or check in with a peer to get some feedback. Even if you
do not have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own. When
reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the following:

1. Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working
thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question.
2. Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply
states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it's possible that you are
simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
3. Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do not
have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like "good" or "successful," see if
you could be more specific: why is something "good"; what specifically makes something
"successful"?
4. Does my thesis pass the "So what?" test? If a reader's first response is, "So what?" then
you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
5. Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and
the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It's o.k. to
change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing
your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
6. Does my thesis pass the "how and why?" test? If a reader's first response is "how?" or
"why?" your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what
you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.

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Section 2: Organization / Structure

Ask yourself . . .

1. Does your title give readers a good idea of what's to come?

2. Is it clear where your introduction ends and body begins and where the body ends and the
conclusion begins? In other words, are your paragraph indents meaningful?
3. At the same time, are there transitions between all sections and paragraphs to create flow
and unity?
4. Does each body paragraph have a topic sentence?
5. Do the topic sentences/claims (1) make a connection back with the thesis/question, (2)
establish a link with the previous paragraph's content (perhaps the chronological
relationship, any comparisons/contrasts?) and (3) give enough information that the
audience could guess where a particular paragraph's development would lead?
6. With or without a formal concluding sentence, do you somewhere near the end of each
paragraph remind readers why you are saying what you are saying by moving back up to
abstract, general terms?
7. Does the order of paragraphs make sense? (e.g., maybe the transitions seem forced
because they aren't in the right order)
8. Are your paragraphs too short (say, fewer than 4 sentences) or too long (longer than about
8)? Is there some combining or separating of issues that needs to take place? Or do you
simply need to generate more content or delete irrelevant material?
9. Are your examples reliable, representative, and convincing? Are there enough of them (or
too many) to develop the main idea of the paragraph?
10. Are your sources convincing? Is there enough balance between your own insights and
expert opinions?
11. Is anything that should be referenced, referenced?
12. Are all sources and direct quotations introduced and then explained or have you left them
standing on their own?
13. Has anything that goes off topic or is not essential been cut?
14. Does the conclusion say something different from your introduction? Does it leave a
good lasting impression or is it weak?

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Section 3: Expression / Style

Wordiness

1. Eliminate repetition.

Example: Wordy: My biggest problem and concern was how to pay next months rent.

Better: My biggest problem was how to pay next months rent.

Better: My biggest concern was how to pay next months rent

2. Eliminate deadwood (words that add no meaning)

Example: Deadwood: the color green

Better: green

3. Pare down wordy phrases.

Example: Wordy: In this day and age

Better: now

4. Reduce the number of phrases.

Example: Wordy: The shortage of skilled labor in this country points to the need for a
greater number of vocational education programs.

Better: This countrys skilled labor shortage points to a needed increase in

vocational education programs.

5. Reduce the number of that clauses.

Example: Wordy: The reporters asked the senator to repeat the explanation that she gave
earlier.

Better: The reporters asked the senator to repeat her earlier explanation.

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Clichs (Overworked Expressions)

When you come across a clich, rewrite it. Consider what you are trying to say and replace the
clich with original phrasing.

Example: Clich: When the police officer pulled me over for speeding, I was shaking like
a leaf.

Revision: When the police officer pulled me over for speeding, I was trembling
with anxiety.

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Specific Words

To add interest, replace general words with more specific ones.

Example: General: The car went down the street.

Specific: The red Corvette streaked down Dover Avenue.
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Varying Sentence Openers

Writing sounds choppy or singsong when too many sentences in a row begin the same way. The
solution is to mix the following sentence openings.

1. Open with a descriptive word (a modifier).

ex. Strangely, little Billy did not enjoy his birthday.
2. Open with a descriptive phrase (a modifier).
ex. Despite my better judgment, I bought a ticket for the roller coaster ride.
3. Open with a subordinate clause (a dependent word group with a subject and verb).
ex. Before you contribute to a charity, check the identification of the person
requesting the money.
4. Open with to and the verb (an infinitive).
ex. To protect our resources, we must all recycle.
5. Open with the subject.
ex. The curtains were dulled by years of accumulated dirt.
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Active Voice

To give your writing more energy, rewrite sentences so that their subjects perform the actions
indicated by the verbs. Then your sentences will be in the active voice.

Example: Passive: The new contract for the autoworkers was negotiated by the labor leader.
Active: The labor leader negotiated a new contract for the autoworkers.
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Action Verbs Rather Than Forms of Be

Forms of to be (am, is, are, was, were) have less energy and interest and action verbs.

Example: To be: Mayor Daley was always a believer in party politics.

Action: Mayor Daley always believed in party politics
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Parallel Structures

To maintain the flow, keep series items parallel by putting them in the same grammatical form.

Example: Not parallel: Coach Rico values teamwork, sportsmanship, and she values effort.
Parallel: Coach Rico values teamwork, sportsmanship, and effort.

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Section 4: Creditability

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