Open Loop Letters: Pyaar Se Bhi Pyaari Maa

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Open loop letters

Pyaar se bhi pyaari maa,


I read somewhere that giving birth is the
second most painful thing a human can
experience (the first being burnt alive) and I
was in a muddle-puddle. How can one love
someone who has been the reason for ones
pain and suffering? A single axiom and
everything falls into place. There appears a
single constant in the otherwise
kaleidoscopic and transmutable nature of
the world. Quite a tour to a science
dictionary, eh! Ill try to hold back from now
on.

I am never of the believer of this


Unconditional Love theory. And boy, I
couldnt be more wrong. Now that I am
away, everything seems to remind me of
you. Like what? Well, for starters, this
wrinkled bed-sheet, each corner waiting to
be tucked in. It still remains a victim of your
fastidious bedside mannerism (oh, the pun).
What else? This dreary humdrum of taste is
making my gustatory perception numb. In
other words, my taste buds are dying to
report a palatable sensory to my brain. Hey,
I am trying (cant hold back, my science
metaphors?)! And yes! Whenever my
roommate calls his mother and presents his
daily affairs. The thing I want to call you.
Every time! Every day!

But see, the influence of your character has


blemished me even here. I talk to you every
day, whilst not in a way that you would be
aware of. Not a single day went by when I
have not missed you. Evenings are the
worst. I constantly feel that you are in the
silhouette, in the sunset and whenever I will
extend my arm, I will reach out to you. It is
strange to believe that you are not with me,
when I feel so much that you are. I talk to
you (probably in a non-psychotic way). You
can understand the reason of my strain and
toil. You weep with me in my sorrows and
you laugh along as well...
Your motherhood has numerous names in
my writings, which manifest itself as per the
changing rhyme of my poems. Kya karun,
pyaar toh bohat hai aap se par jatana hi
nahin aaya kabhi. This is partly the reason I
am writing this letter. And I am not even a
writer, an expressionist at best. Magar aap
hi dekhiye na, aap ke liye kya-kya na kiya
humne, teri yaadon mein ghul kar baith
gaye khat likhne...
Yeh thoda cheap tha...

A confession, yes! Yes! All my life, I have


never found something as difficult to write
about. That constant remembrance as to
whom I am writing! On one hand I feel
blissful to be a tiny splinter of a rock so
gargantuan; on the other I feel I am not
even qualified to address you. And that is
the reason this letter may never reach to
you.

In India, love is often associated with the


sacrifice you do for the person you love. A
funny thing happened. Someone (reasons
best known to him) asked me:- Whats your
mothers name? And there was a good 5
second pause... Not that I forgot, but for me
you have always been MOM. And people
talk about character realisation. Huh! You
might be something else for the world. But
for me, you have always been a Mother,
sacrificing you personality and your identity
for your children. Who in this whole wide
world does such such a thing?

Let me tell you something... Girls are a full-


fledged jigsaw puzzle on their own, which
would take any mortal a lifetime to solve.
They apparently have a switch which
enables them to transit from a carefree
attitude to a custodianship. From an
ebullient, jaunty wind to a poised ambience
of care and understanding. From a fussy,
effervescent stream to a sea of serene
tranquillity, hurling emotions, still
enchanting on the surface.
As I have grown, I have come to realize that
I am nothing but a sum of your little-little
fragments of your character. You and that
counterpart of yours! Yup! A subtle
reference to dad here. I feel lucky. You
always inspired confidence. My source for
inspiration. Your perseverant efforts in trying
to make me a better person, is why I am
what I am! So this one is for you (and it is
one of my better efforts)...




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