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Going to the shore on the first morning of the vacation, the almost ran after her again, feeling it unbearable that she should
young English boy stopped at a turning of the path and looked go by herself, but he did not.
down at a wild and rocky bay and then over to the crowded
beach he knew so well from other years. His mother walked on She was thinking, Of course hes old enough to be safe without
in front of him, carrying a bright striped bag in one hand. Her me. Have I been keeping him too close? He mustnt feel he ought
other arm, swinging loose, was very white in the sun. The boy to be with me. I must be careful.
watched that white naked arm and turned his eyes, which had a
frown behind them, toward the bay and back again to his He was an only child, eleven years old. She was a widow. She
mother. When she felt he was not with her, she swung around. was determined to be neither possessive nor lacking in devotion.
Oh, there you are, Jerry! she said. She looked impatient, then She went worrying off to her beach.
smiled. Why, darling, would you rather not come with me?
Would you rather She frowned, conscientiously worrying As for Jerry, once he saw that his mother had gained her beach,
over what amusements he might secretly be longing for, which he began the steep descent to the bay. From where he was, high
she had been too busy or too careless to imagine. He was very up among red-brown rocks, it was a scoop of moving bluish
familiar with that anxious, apologetic smile. Contrition sent him green fringed with white. As he went lower, he saw that it
running after her. And yet, as he ran, he looked back over his spread among small promontories and inlets of rough, sharp
shoulder at the wild bay; and all morning, as he played on the rock, and the crisping, lapping surface showed stains of purple
safe beach, he was thinking of it. and darker blue. Finally, as he ran sliding and scraping down
the last few yards, he saw an edge of white surf and the shallow,
Next morning, when it was time for the routine of swimming luminous movement of water over white sand and, beyond that,
and sunbathing, his mother said, Are you tired of the usual a solid, heavy blue.
beach, Jerry? Would you like to go somewhere else?
He ran straight into the water and began swimming. He was a
Oh, no! he said quickly, smiling at her out of that unfailing good swimmer. He went out fast over the gleaming sand, over a
impulse of contritiona sort of chivalry. Yet, walking down the middle region where rocks lay like discolored monsters under
path with her, he blurted out, Id like to go and have a look at the surface, and then he was in the real seaa warm sea where
those rocks down there. irregular cold currents from the deep water shocked his limbs.

She gave the idea her attention. It was a wild-looking place, and When he was so far out that he could look back not only on the
there was no one there, but she said, Of course, Jerry. When little bay but past the promontory that was between it and the
youve had enough, come to the big beach. Or just go straight big beach, he floated on the buoyant surface and looked for his
back to the villa, if you like. She walked away, that bare arm, mother. There she was, a speck of yellow under an umbrella that
now slightly reddened from yesterdays sun, swinging. And he looked like a slice of orange peel. He swam back to shore,
relieved at being sure she was there, but all at once very lonely.

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On the edge of a small cape that marked the side of the bay away were empty. But through the heavy blue, dark shapes could be
from the promontory was a loose scatter of rocks. Above them, seen moving and groping.
some boys were stripping off their clothes. They came running,
naked, down to the rocks. The English boy swam toward them Jerry dived, shot past the school of underwater swimmers, saw a
but kept his distance at a stones throw. They were of that coast; black wall of rock looming at him, touched it, and bobbed up at
all of them were burned smooth dark brown and speaking a once to the surface, where the wall was a low barrier he could
language he did not understand. To be with them, of them, was see across. There was no one visible; under him, in the water, the
a craving that filled his whole body. He swam a little closer; they dim shapes of the swimmers had disappeared. Then one and
turned and watched him with narrowed, alert dark eyes. Then then another of the boys came up on the far side of the barrier of
one smiled and waved. It was enough. In a minute, he had rock, and he understood that they had swum through some gap
swum in and was on the rocks beside them, smiling with a or hole in it. He plunged down again. He could see nothing
desperate, nervous supplication. They shouted cheerful through the stinging salt water but the blank rock. When he
greetings at him; and then, as he preserved his nervous, came up, the boys were all on the diving rock, preparing to
uncomprehending smile, they understood that he was a attempt the feat again. And now, in a panic of failure, he yelled
foreigner strayed from his own beach, and they proceeded to up, in English, Look at me! Look! and he began splashing and
forget him. But he was happy. He was with them. kicking in the water like a foolish dog.

They began diving again and again from a high point into a well They looked down gravely, frowning. He knew the frown. At
of blue sea between rough, pointed rocks. After they had dived moments of failure, when he clowned to claim his mothers
and come up, they swam around, hauled themselves up, and attention, it was with just this grave, embarrassed inspection that
waited their turn to dive again. They were big boysmen, to she rewarded him. Through his hot shame, feeling the pleading
Jerry. He dived, and they watched him; and when he swam grin on his face like a scar that he could never remove, he looked
around to take his place, they made way for him. He felt he was up at the group of big brown boys on the rock and shouted,
accepted and he dived again, carefully, proud of himself. Bonjour! Merci! Au revoir! Monsieur, monsieur! while he
hooked his fingers round his ears and waggled them.
Soon the biggest of the boys poised himself, shot down into the
water, and did not come up. The others stood about, watching. Water surged into his mouth; he choked, sank, came up. The
Jerry, after waiting for the sleek brown head to appear, let out a rock, lately weighted with boys, seemed to rear up out of the
yell of warning; they looked at him idly and turned their eyes water as their weight was removed. They were flying down past
back toward the water. After a long time, the boy came up on the him now, into the water; the air was full of falling bodies. Then
other side of a big dark rock, letting the air out of his lungs in a the rock was empty in the hot sunlight. He counted one, two,
sputtering gasp and a shout of triumph. Immediately the rest of three . . .
them dived in. One moment, the morning seemed full of
chattering boys; the next, the air and the surface of the water

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At fifty, he was terrified. They must all be drowning beneath But now, now, now! He must have them this minute, and no
him, in the watery caves of the rock! At a hundred, he stared other time. He nagged and pestered until she went with him to a
around him at the empty hillside, wondering if he should yell shop. As soon as she had bought the goggles, he grabbed them
for help. He counted faster, faster, to hurry them up, to bring from her hand as if she were going to claim them for herself, and
them to the surface quickly, to drown them quicklyanything was off, running down the steep path to the bay.
rather than the terror of counting on and on into the blue
emptiness of the morning. And then, at a hundred and sixty, the Jerry swam out to the big barrier rock, adjusted the goggles, and
water beyond the rock was full of boys blowing like brown dived. The impact of the water broke the rubber-enclosed
whales. They swam back to the shore without a look at him. vacuum, and the goggles came loose. He understood that he
must swim down to the base of the rock from the surface of the
He climbed back to the diving rock and sat down, feeling the hot water. He fixed the goggles tight and firm, filled his lungs, and
roughness of it under his thighs. The boys were gathering up floated, face down, on the water. Now he could see. It was as if
their bits of clothing and running off along the shore to another he had eyes of a different kindfish eyes that showed
promontory. They were leaving to get away from him. He cried everything clear and delicate and wavering in the bright water.
openly, fists in his eyes. There was no one to see him, and he
cried himself out. Under him, six or seven feet down, was a floor of perfectly clean,
shining white sand, rippled firm and hard by the tides. Two
It seemed to him that a long time had passed, and he swam out grayish shapes steered there, like long, rounded pieces of wood
to where he could see his mother. Yes, she was still there, a or slate. They were fish. He saw them nose toward each other,
yellow spot under an orange umbrella. He swam back to the big poise motionless, make a dart forward, swerve off, and come
rock, climbed up, and dived into the blue pool among the fanged around again. It was like a water dance. A few inches above
and angry boulders. Down he went, until he touched the wall of them the water sparkled as if sequins were dropping through it.
rock again. But the salt was so painful in his eyes that he could Fish againmyriads of minute fish, the length of his fingernail
not see. were drifting through the water, and in a moment he could feel
the innumerable tiny touches of them against his limbs. It was
He came to the surface, swam to shore, and went back to the like swimming in flaked silver. The great rock the big boys had
villa to wait for his mother. Soon she walked slowly up the path, swum through rose sheer out of the white sandblack, tufted
swinging her striped bag, the flushed, naked arm dangling lightly with greenish weed. He could see no gap in it. He swam
beside her. I want some swimming goggles, he panted, defiant down to its base.
and beseeching.
Again and again he rose, took a big chestful of air, and went
She gave him a patient, inquisitive look as she said casually, down. Again and again he groped over the surface of the rock,
Well, of course, darling. feeling it, almost hugging it in the desperate need to find the
entrance. And then, once, while he was clinging to the black

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wall, his knees came up and he shot his feet out forward and All night the boy dreamed of the water-filled cave in the rock,
they met no obstacle. He had found the hole. and as soon as breakfast was over, he went to the bay.

He gained the surface, clambered about the stones that littered That night, his nose bled badly. For hours he had been
the barrier rock until he found a big one, and with this in his underwater, learning to hold his breath, and now he felt weak
arms, let himself down over the side of the rock. He dropped, and dizzy. His mother said, I shouldnt overdo things, darling,
with the weight, straight to the sandy floor. Clinging tight to the if I were you.
anchor of stone, he lay on his side and looked in under the dark
shelf at the place where his feet had gone. He could see the hole. That day and the next, Jerry exercised his lungs as if everything,
It was an irregular, dark gap; but he could not see deep into it. the whole of his life, all that he would become, depended upon
He let go of his anchor, clung with his hands to the edges of the it. Again his nose bled at night, and his mother insisted on his
hole, and tried to push himself in. coming with her the next day. It was a torment to him to waste a
day of his careful self-training, but he stayed with her on that
He got his head in, found his shoulders jammed, moved them in other beach, which now seemed a place for small children, a
sidewise, and was inside as far as his wrist. He could see nothing place where his mother might lie safe in the sun. It was not his
ahead. Something soft and clammy touched his mouth; he saw a beach.
dark frond moving against the grayish rock, and panic filled
him. He thought of octopuses, of clinging weed. He pushed He did not ask for permission, on the following day, to go to his
himself out backward and caught a glimpse, as he retreated, of a beach. He went, before his mother could consider the
harmless tentacle of seaweed drifting in the mouth of the tunnel. complicated rights and wrongs of the matter. A days rest, he
But it was enough. He reached the sunlight, swam to shore, and discovered, had improved his count by ten. The big boys had
lay on the diving rock. He looked down into the blue well of made the passage while he counted a hundred and sixty. He had
water. He knew he must find his way through that cave, or hole, been counting fast, in his fright. Probably now, if he tried, he
or tunnel, and out the other side. could get through that long tunnel, but he was not going to try
yet. A curious, most unchildlike persistence, a controlled
First, he thought, he must learn to control his breathing. He let impatience, made him wait. In the meantime, he lay underwater
himself down into the water with another big stone in his arms, on the white sand, littered now by stones he had brought down
so that he could lie effortlessly on the bottom of the sea. He from the upper air, and studied the entrance to the tunnel. He
counted. One, two, three. He counted steadily. He could hear the knew every jut and corner of it, as far as it was possible to see. It
movement of blood in his chest. Fifty-one, fifty-two. . . . His chest was as if he already felt its sharpness about his shoulders.
was hurting. He let go of the rock and went up into the air. He
saw that the sun was low. He rushed to the villa and found his He sat by the clock in the villa, when his mother was not near,
mother at her supper. She said only, Did you enjoy yourself? and checked his time. He was incredulous and then proud to
and he said, Yes. find he could hold his breath without strain for two minutes.

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The words two minutes, authorized by the clock, brought once at the empty sky, filled his lungs once, twice, and then sank
close the adventure that was so necessary to him. fast to the bottom with the stone. He let it go and began to count.
He took the edges of the hole in his hands and drew himself into
In another four days, his mother said casually one morning, they it, wriggling his shoulders in sidewise as he remembered he
must go home. On the day before they left, he would do it. He must, kicking himself along with his feet.
would do it if it killed him, he said defiantly to himself. But two
days before they were to leavea day of triumph when he Soon he was clear inside. He was in a small rock-bound hole
increased his count by fifteenhis nose bled so badly that he filled with yellowish-gray water. The water was pushing him up
turned dizzy and had to lie limply over the big rock like a bit of against the roof. The roof was sharp and pained his back. He
seaweed, watching the thick red blood flow onto the rock and pulled himself along with his handsfast, fastand used his
trickle slowly down to the sea. He was frightened. Supposing he legs as levers. His head knocked against something; a sharp pain
turned dizzy in the tunnel? Supposing he died there, trapped? dizzied him. Fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two . . . He was without light,
Supposinghis head went around, in the hot sun, and he almost and the water seemed to press upon him with the weight of
gave up. He thought he would return to the house and lie down, rock. Seventy-one, seventy-two . . . There was no strain on his
and next summer, perhaps, when he had another years growth lungs. He felt like an inflated balloon, his lungs were so light and
in himthen he would go through the hole. easy, but his head was pulsing.

But even after he had made the decision, or thought he had, he He was being continually pressed against the sharp roof, which
found himself sitting up on the rock and looking down into the felt slimy as well as sharp. Again he thought of octopuses, and
water; and he knew that now, this moment, when his nose had wondered if the tunnel might be filled with weed that could
only just stopped bleeding, when his head was still sore and tangle him. He gave himself a panicky, convulsive kick forward,
throbbingthis was the moment when he would try. If he did ducked his head, and swam. His feet and hands moved freely, as
not do it now, he never would. He was trembling with fear that if in open water. The hole must have widened out. He thought
he would not go; and he was trembling with horror at the long, he must be swimming fast, and he was frightened of banging his
long tunnel under the rock, under the sea. Even in the open head if the tunnel narrowed.
sunlight, the barrier rock seemed very wide and very heavy;
tons of rock pressed down on where he would go. If he died A hundred, a hundred and one . . . The water paled. Victory
there, he would lie until one dayperhaps not before next filled him. His lungs were beginning to hurt. A few more strokes
yearthose big boys would swim into it and find it blocked. and he would be out. He was counting wildly; he said a hundred
and fifteen and then, a long time later, a hundred and fifteen
He put on his goggles, fitted them tight, tested the vacuum. His again. The water was a clear jewel-green all around him. Then he
hands were shaking. Then he chose the biggest stone he could saw, above his head, a crack running up through the rock.
carry and slipped over the edge of the rock until half of him was Sunlight was falling through it, showing the clean, dark rock of
in the cool enclosing water and half in the hot sun. He looked up the tunnel, a single mussel shell, and darkness ahead.

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He was at the end of what he could do. He looked up at the at the sound of feet on the path outside. His mother was coming
crack as if it were filled with air and not water, as if he could put back. He rushed to the bathroom, thinking she must not see his
his mouth to it to draw in air. A hundred and fifteen, he heard face with bloodstains, or tearstains, on it. He came out of the
himself say inside his headbut he had said that long ago. He bathroom and met her as she walked into the villa, smiling, her
must go on into the blackness ahead, or he would drown. His eyes lighting up.
head was swelling, his lungs cracking. A hundred and fifteen, a
hundred and fifteen, pounded through his head, and he feebly Have a nice morning? she asked, laying her hand on his warm
clutched at rocks in the dark, pulling himself forward, leaving brown shoulder a moment.
the brief space of sunlit water behind. He felt he was dying. He
was no longer quite conscious. He struggled on in the darkness Oh, yes, thank you, he said.
between lapses into unconsciousness. An immense, swelling
pain filled his head, and then the darkness cracked with an You look a bit pale. And then, sharp and anxious, How did
explosion of green light. His hands, groping forward, met you bang your head?
nothing; and his feet, kicking back, propelled him out into the
open sea. Oh, just banged it, he told her.

He drifted to the surface, his face turned up to the air. He was She looked at him closely. He was strained; his eyes were
gasping like a fish. He felt he would sink now and drown; he glazed-looking. She was worried. And then she said to herself,
could not swim the few feet back to the rock. Then he was Oh, dont fuss! Nothing can happen. He can swim like a fish.
clutching it and pulling himself up onto it. He lay face down,
gasping. He could see nothing but a red-veined, clotted dark. They sat down to lunch together.
His eyes must have burst, he thought; they were full of blood.
He tore off his goggles and a gout of blood went into the sea. His Mummy, he said, I can stay underwater for two minutes
nose was bleeding, and the blood had filled the goggles. three minutes, at least. It came bursting out of him.

He scooped up handfuls of water from the cool, salty sea, to Can you, darling? she said. Well, I shouldnt overdo it. I
splash on his face, and did not know whether it was blood or salt dont think you ought to swim anymore today.
water he tasted. After a time, his heart quieted, his eyes cleared,
and he sat up. He could see the local boys diving and playing She was ready for a battle of wills, but he gave in at once. It was
half a mile away. He did not want them. He wanted nothing but no longer of the least importance to go to the bay.
to get back home and lie down.

In a short while, Jerry swam to shore and climbed slowly up the

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