EU Trainee Bible - October 2017
EU Trainee Bible - October 2017
EU Trainee Bible - October 2017
EU OCTOBER 2017
EU
TRAINEE
BIBLE
CONT
WELCOME
ENTS ALL ABOUT THE CREDITS
BEFORE YOUR
TRAINEESHIP
PREPARING & WONDERING
Where do I live, breathe? Where am I?
What is an EU? Answers to the
elementary questions, covered.
DURING YOUR
TRAINEESHIP
BEHAVING AND PLAYING
AFTER YOUR
TRAINEESHIP
DEVELOPING & THRIVING
Congratulations for making it to your EU Traineeship. Whether you are fresh out of your
European Studies bachelors/masters or are looking for a sly way of getting a taste of what the
gravy train life of Eurocrat is like, you have done well in overcoming the notoriously difficult
selection process, and the wonderfully convoluted red tape to confirm your place among the
EU institutions in the next few months.
The "EuroBubble, as it often referred to, is a place of European diversity of young (and older)
people coming together to work for and in the EU. You will experience what this is all about as
you meet other trainees, colleagues, heads of units and more. Be ready to get your talking
skills up and running because the multitude of spoken languages here is impressive.
You are one in over 600 trainees that will undergo a traineeship in the EU institutions and be
sure that your unit and the European quarter will certainly be ready to host you. You, on the
other hand, may not be so ready. Several hundred of you will be scavenging to open bank
accounts, activate a working phone, maybe even find a home if that floats your boat.
To get you started, Brussels Brief bring you our indispensable insider tips to give you a head
start on your traineeship. We hope youll enjoy your time here and maybe even get a job out of
it...?.
The idea is to provide an 'executive summary' so that the most seasoned europhile,
concerned citizen, student, and policy wonk can stay in the loop with the most important
and interesting reads of the week.
We live in an age of news and media saturation. This is exacerbated by the hard to
navigate EU landscape. From online, print and social media there has never been a
greater need for a single source where you can read with the peace of mind that all your
loose ends are tied in what is happening in and around the Brussels Bubble and the EU.
Brussels Brief reduces the noise so you don't have to.
We started Brussels Brief because we were EU trainees at one point ourselves, but didnt
think the existing media was easy to understand or engaging. Brussels Brief is made with
our own millennial generation in mind - keeping things informative but infused with a
healthy sense of humour and informed from a myriad of perspectives.
In an ambitious leap for our nascent organisation, we decided to expand beyond our
weekly newsletter with this EU Trainee Bible, because a lot of the big brotherly/sisterly
advice we needed when we did our traineeships wasnt available to us and we think we
can (humbly) offer some insight. Between us, we have been trainees in all the major
institutions, so we hope our experiences can be of help to you no matter if youre starting
a traineeship in the Commission, Council, Parliament, Committee or anything else within
the Eurobubble. Fix up, look sharp because this applies to you.
SIGN UPto Brussels Brief on our website, like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter
@Brusselsbrief.
Being a Eurocrat is an unloved job. You make too many rules (not as a trainee you wont),
you are paid fat salaries (nope, not even close as a trainee) and you spend all day drinking
wine with lobbyists plotting to remove democracy from real people (if only).
The EU bubble is a world far removed from most peoples lives and youll have a full-time
job ahead of you just trying to explain the difference between the Council of the European
Union and the European Council and why the EU is not 21st century Stalinism and/or
Neoliberalism run amok (often to the same person).
Brussels is a fascinating place with most of the 30.000 Commission staff working here, the
751 egos (MEPs) and their assistants and much of the 6000 strong European Parliament
staff; the 3500 Staff working for the Council, not to mention the 28 Member States
Permanent Representations (i.e. EU Embassies) and an army of lobbyists (that includes
both private sector suits, NGO hippies and everything in between). So youll get to meet a
lot of different people as long as you try and reach out.
This 'bible' has as its mission, the Herculean task of easing your way into the brave new
world of EU intricacies, unspoken rules and constant hustle for jobs. Hopefully, it will bring
a little clarity for your new work, explain a bit about the context you are working in and
give you some useful tips and tricks in order to land that sweet gig as an overpaid lobbyist
when you finish your traineeship.
N
Ask a Roman if they think the Brussels
transportation system works well and theyre
likely to praise it like you did Britney Spears in
'To stay fair, lets
the 1990s. Ask a Nordic, and they might refer
to Britney in 2007. say Brussels
To stay fair, lets say Brussels transportation transportation
takes you from
takes you from one place to another with
certainty. It works efficiently and runs
frequently enough. Theyre also not the
dirtiest! Metro, buses and trams get a little
more packed, but get particularly tricky during
one place to
rush hours because of traffic.
another with
In order to navigate the transport system in a
cost-effective (and legal) way, make sure to certainty. It
works efficiently
get a MoBiB card with either single trips or a
commuter subscription early on it will save
you a lot of money. There are two MoBiB
cards available; one is a basic card that you
can buy over the counter and the other is one
and runs
with your picture for monthy or yearly
subscriptions.
frequently
If you dont have a picture ready it can be enough.'
made at the ticket counter in Gare du Midi
when you buy a card.
For all the little things in your new home, You didnt just come to save the world by day,
Hema and Blokker are fantastically utilitarian; no youre here to shake some serious
spoons, towels, glasses, sheets. Any utility for bureaucratic booty at night. Brussels has a
your new house can be found here and youll decent and varied nightlife spread, something
most likely become great friends with the staff for every type, taste and budget. We
after 5-6 repeat visits. For a more eclectic and recommend the places we hang out in and
less useful trip, go to Flying Tiger, the Danish that way it's more likely you can buy us a
superstore of wondrous eclectic everythings. drink.
Brussels is home to a few supermarkets that Bars: Maison du Peuple for a drink, or two, or
aren't well known to people from abroad. One five. Its a great spot, decorated with exposed
of the most ubiquitous is Delhaize and offers a brick and it gets crowded on Saturday nights
big variety. Good croissants and baked goods with some of the best company in the city. Its
for that homemade brunch. also located in one of Brussels trendiest and
most upcoming neighbourhoods, St Gilles.
German socialist paradises Aldi and Lidl offer Madame Moustache is a dive in St Catherine
the shopping prices most friendly to your that will enamour you once you walk. The
trainee level income. They also have the best eclectic decor, funky music and hipster crowd
gin and Whiskeys in the world (no joke). So will want you going back.
this is a good place to go if youre having a
Crmaillre (housewarming). Clubs: Fuse. Work life got you feeling dull?
Need a techno release? Fuse will make sure to
Wildcard option: If you want to shop like a pro fix that. Among Brussels biggest clubs, Fuse is
go to the outdoor bazaar at Gare du Midi on an alternative way to spend your weekend out
Sundays (6am-2pm). The bazaar is one of the (because realistically you wont make it home
biggest outdoor markets in Europe, so if you before 4 am and then there goes your two-
have the stomach for haggling a bit you can day rest period).
get a good deal on vegetables, flowers,
clothes. Poetic and cheap. Wildcard option: Cafe Beguin hosts live music
every weekend and its free entry (almost)
Wildcard option 2: Marche des Tanneurs is a every time. If youre looking for some of the
fruit and vegetable market that sells coveted best cocktails in town and some live world-
bio products that are so in right now. All inspired music, this is your place. (Great place
joking aside, most if not all of their products for a dinner and a date).
are locally sourced.
The EU is a strange beast. More of a state Of all the EU budget, 94% is spent back in
than an international organisation making member states (that means less money for
some unnerved, but not enough of a state to trainees) putting some restrictions on what
make others happy. the Commission can implement of utopian EU
rules. The Commission is essentially
To say the least what matters in the EU is to accountable to the European Parliament and
find compromise and getting legislation its President is practically elected by the
through is a long process involving multitudes Parliament by the beautifully onomatopoeic
of partners, institutions, political and cultural Spitzenkandidaten procedure. It sounds like
considerations and some finely honed democracy, doesn't it?
political skill making.
The European Parliament
But youre here to change the world, so go
ahead, but dont be surprised if your policy The only directly elected EU institution - so
document gets stuck in a hearing for 6-8 basically your guarantee for democratic
months. Below we briefly go through the participation. It has grown from a symbolic
main EU actors, and most likely your new place with virtually no influence to a political
boss... powerhouse equal to the Council of Ministers
and has since 2014 decided that it elects the
The European Commission Commission president.
'compromise is
This is similar to the process in the US, with
the Council being similar to the Senate. Each
country votes according to population size
and to pass a law needs a double majority:
55% of the countries and 65% of the
not just a virtue,
population.
but unavoidable.'
The Committee of the Regions and the Social There are a number of EU agencies spread
and Economic Committee are two EU bodies out across the 28 Member States. The
charged with bringing together stakeholders different EU agencies perform a range of
and representatives from society to feed input monitoring, technical and scientific tasks
to the EU. Each consists of 350 members and helping and supporting the Commission in
not much poltical power between them. many of its regulatory tasks where a high
degree of technical expertise is needed.
The Committee of the Regions is comprised of
local and regional politicians from around the Most commonly known are Europol (the EUs
28 EU member states. They weigh in with police cooperation organisation), the
opinions on EU legislation since most EU law European Medicines Agency (the EMA, at the
affects their local work and has to be moment set to leave London with other
implemented by local officials. Member States trying to get the rose) and The
European Food and Safety Authority (EFSA)
The Economic and Social Committee similarly located in Parma, because when it comes to
is made up of social partners that is food safety we can only trust the Italians.
representatives of businesses and labour
unions and other social partners like NGOs in
order to have their voices heard in Brussels,
since the well functioning of the Single Market
is paramount to the EU and no Brussels
bureaucrat wants to be told they have
ignored the people.
'when it comes to
food safety we
can only trust the
Italians.'
Networking
'Magritte, a pride
whose star feature is an Alsatian bar serving
cremante wine, Strasbourg beer and pretzels.
Weekends
and joy of the
Museums: If rainy days discourage you,
Brussels museum scene will take you into Belgians and man
refuge. Magritte, a pride and joy of the Belgians
and man who is famous for saying that a pipe is who is famous for
saying that a pipe
not a pipe has his very own spot. Located right
next to one of Brussels most iconic views, you
will find the hours spent inside fly by. Organised
so you, the viewer, can experience his life
through his art pieces, the museum has some
is not a pipe'
of his most original work.
.
PAGE 23 | DURING BRUSSELSBRIEF.EU
Parks: Parc Cinquantenaire - If youre keen on
going for a run while staying in the midst of the
(political) action this is the place for you. Right
by the EU headquarters, Parc Cinquantenaire is
a fine reflection of the citys best. Characterised
by the monumental arc that brings inspiration
just by looking at it, this park is a great place to
take a lunch break, too. It also holds a
reasonable track field and a mosque. Common
sights include people practising Tai Chi, Acro
Yoga and passed out revellers from Friday night.
'Common sights
Disney days behind). With large weeping
willows, green hills and a pond, this is a great
place to lay in and spend hungover Sundays at.
Its also home to a basketball court but more
importantly, the House of European History.
include people
The park is also strategically located between
Place Jourdan (where the fries are made) and practising Tai Chi,
the European Parliament (where the sausages
are made). Acro Yoga and
Bois de la Cambre - a runners favourite. This
much larger park is a great getaway location for
passed out
those who want to stay in Brussels but escape
the urban setting. Its great for walks, picnics,
revellers from
occasional music festivals and marathon
runners and murder victims Friday night'
PAGE 25 | AFTER
PAGE 25| AFTER
Go in to see them or write them an email
IONS
If youre lucky enough to get an interview with
an interested unit and be selected, boom
youre an interimaire. In this case, as with any
good indenture, you are working within the
The most addictive aspect of obtaining a EU institutions but you are employed by
traineeship within the European Institutions is Randstad. Many of the benefits that you
that it gives you a taste of a cake you once would be receiving as an employee of the EU
had, want again, but can't figure out how to Institutions are not in the cards (healthcare,
get to that precise bakery. If you are at the tax-exclusion, ecc.) Still, you make it off pretty
end of your traineeship and your experience well with weekly contracts (hence, weekly
has proven to be not awful, mildly motivating paychecks) and a chance to explore the life of
and inspiring enough to want to continue an EU official without all the elements that
working for the EU then it turns out that you make the job actually attractive. Think of it like
can. While attempting (and passing) the EPSO non-alcoholic beer or decaf coffee.
'Concours' is the one most definite, long-term
precise bakery.'
PAGE 27 | AFTER BRUSSELSBRIEF.EU
Contract Agent (The Mercenaries) Why? Because of these countries are heavily
underrepresented in the EU institutions. That,
This position allows you to work within the EU therefore, means that it is hard for Italians
Institutions for a total of 6 years and is quite and Spanish people to get in as they are
possibly the sweetest gig out there. Under this continuously over-represented in EU
title, you are a full-fledged employee of the institutions compared to population size. That
EU, which means you receive all the benefits being said, there are no formal quotas only an
(and all the responsibilities) you could expect attempt to have a balanced composition of EU
from an EU official. public officials.
To do so you, must place your personal and EPSO is to some a part-time job, a second
background information (name, past partner, a first child or all of the above. The
academic and professional experience, etc.) main thing you need to know is that the odds
onto the EU CV online database. From here, are stacked against you. Firstly, if studying the
interested and seeking units can find you notorious tests including numerical, verbal
using key words. Should they find your profile reasoning, abstract exercises don't break your
potentially suitable for their vacancy, you will spirit then passing them will be like finding the
be called and asked to take an EPSO-styled lost arc. There are some helpful books like The
exam, with the addition of a competency- Ultimate EU Test Book that will help you get
based section. If you pass this exam (which started.
needs an overall lower score than the EPSO
one), you will be called in for an interview(s) If you do manage to pass then the
until the perfect match is made. assessment centre is where they separate the
wheat from the chaff amid interviews and
At that point, once a unit has chosen to hire competitive arm slinging worthy of some of
you, the paperwork procedure takes the toughest corners of the private sector.
approximately 1-3 months. You are then on
probation for the first 9 months, and should Then comes the final list of worthy yet still
your employer be as satisfied with you as you unemployed candidate ispicked out
are with them, your contract is extended to 2 indsciriminately by whomever has a position
years after the first year and for three years going at that point, anything from Juncker's
after that first renovation. Jumping through cabinet to scrivener in the Committees.
hoops never had such great consequences.
Thankfully, youre not on your own. If you do The novels are set in a dystopic Europe of the
find yourself in a traineeship situation and are future where the continent is gripped by
looking to get some dedicated advice on conflict and division, consisting of small,
whether youre getting short-changed in any regional states that only share a mutual
way, direct your attention to the various enmity. (sound familiar?) Defying the border
grassroots organisations looking to lobby for restrictions, a group of Erasmus students
and help interns in their struggle. decide to reunite and celebrate thirty years of
friendship. They are supported in this difficult
The first logical step is the impressive Brussels task by the Europeanists, a clandestine
Intern NGO. Started in 2013, they have a association which still fights to bring unity and
substantial team and are behind a lot of the peace to the continent. Just the kind of feel-
initiatives and marches youll see around good world saving EU story we're into.
Brussels in defence trainees rights.
When You Dont Get the Job EU Trainee Ambassador is a trainee run
initiative born only last year that intends to
Its not a big deal, babe, it happens to all of us. prepare those interested promoting EU
traineeships and, incidentally the EU in their
Well be honest with you, not everyone gets home countries. It is also a good excuse to
the dream job or even any job. Many of our keep in touch with the EU institutions by
friends had to move back, but that shouldnt becoming a de facto agent for them (pro-
keep you down. bono of course).
We want to make a new edition of this 'Bible' for every cohort of trainees so that each
one is passed on generations of trainee knowledge and wisdom in a single
document. In order to so we would love to get YOUR help. Therefore, if you loved or
hated this edition shoot us an email to tell us what you would keep, what you would
get rid of and, most importantly, what you would add.
Also, we'd love to hear about your best experiences, anecdotes as well as
embarrassing work stories and drunken Plux nights on social media.
Good luck for the rest of your traineeship and career start in Brussels. We hope to
have been a good friend in the beginning and hope to maintain the friendship as you
go through your journey.
If you would like to keep us in your life and, in the meantime, get informed on what is
being reported on and about the EU then please do us a solid and SIGN UP to
Brussels Brief so that we can send you a weekly email with everything that people
talking about, along with some things they aren't.
www. brusselsbrief.eu/sign-up
Bisous,
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