7 Steps To Discovering Your Personal Values - Scott Jeffrey PDF
7 Steps To Discovering Your Personal Values - Scott Jeffrey PDF
7 Steps To Discovering Your Personal Values - Scott Jeffrey PDF
As a personal coach, I’ve noticed that individuals experience greater fulfillment when
they live by their values.
And when we don’t honor our values, our mental, emotional, and physical state
suffers.
What follows is a self-coaching tool to help you discover your personal core values.
Values are a part of us. They highlight what we stand for. They can represent our
unique, individual essence.
When we don’t, we are incongruent and are more likely to escape into bad habits and
regress into childish behavior to uplift ourselves.
I remember going through my first values discovery process when I was 22.
I was attending an intensive 4-day seminar devoted to learning about what motivates
people. Core values were a central theme of the event.
One value that rose to the top of my list was health. Physical health, energy, and
vitality were, and still are, important to me.
I spent much of my childhood with various illnesses, and I saw how it affected my
development and life experiences in deleterious ways.
Clarifying this value as a top priority shifted many things in my young life. It
influenced what I ate and drank. I now consumed different media and installed
different habits.
When you value health, you don’t have to wrestle with managing impulse control as
much.
If you know a particular food or activity isn’t good for your body, you don’t want it.
I made a practice of paying attention to how different foods made me feel after I ate
them.
Consider what happens when people value comfort over their health. Eating to "feel
better" will cause poor eating habits that undermine their health.
Most of us don't know our values. We don’t understand what’s most important to us.
Instead, we focus on what our society, culture, and media values.
Can you articulate your top 5 to 10 values that are most important to you?
It’s easy to speculate and idealize what you should value. But knowing and accepting
what you value takes effort.
While the following process is best done with an effective coach, you can do it on your
own if you apply self-honesty, patience, and determination.
Ready? Take out your journal, a notepad, or a note-taking app. And let's get started.
Here are 7 steps to creating distinct and meaningful core values that will serve you in
every area of your life and work:
Take a deep breath and empty your mind. Remember that your conscious mind
doesn’t have all the answers. Create a space for new insights and revelations to
emerge.
Why? Values aren’t selected; we discover and reveal them. If you start with a list, your
conscious mind will evaluate which values are “better” than others.
That said, if you’re not familiar with working with values, you can scan a list of values
to get a sense of your range of options.
For example, here is an impartial list of core values that start with the letter “C”:
1) Peak Experiences
Consider a meaningful moment—a peak experience that stands out.
2) Suppressed Values
Now, go in the opposite direction; consider a time when you got angry, frustrated, or
upset. What was going on? What were you feeling? Now flip those feelings around.
What value is being suppressed?
3) Code of Conduct
What's most important in your life? Beyond your basic human needs, what must you
have in your life to experience fulfillment? Creative self-expression? A strong level of
health and vitality? A sense of excitement and adventure? Surrounded by beauty?
Always learning?
What are the values you must honor or a part of you withers?
For example, integrity might work as a central theme for the values I listed.
You can keep the other words in the group in parentheses to give your primary value
more context. You’ll use them again in step 6.
As a unique individual, you possess certain strengths and weaknesses. Your values
matters most to you.
How many core values should you end up with? Too few and you won’t capture all the
unique dimensions of your being. Too many and you’ll forget them or won't take
advantage of them.
While the number of core values differs for each person, the magic range seems to be
between 5 and 10.
Rank them in the order of importance. This is often the most challenging part.
You may need to do this step in multiple sittings. After doing one round of ranking put
it aside and “sleep on it.”
Highlighting values into memorable phrases or sentences helps you articulate the
meaning behind each value.
It gives you the opportunity to make the value more emotional and memorable.
Here are a few tips and guidelines for crafting your values statements:
● Use inspiring words and vocabulary. Our brains are quick to delete or ignore
the mundane and commonplace.
● Mine for words that evoke and trigger emotional responses. They will be more
meaningful and memorable.
● Play to your strengths in crafting your values.
● Make your value statements rich and meaningful to you so they inspire you to
uphold them.
You could use other words from the groupings you made in step 3 in your description.
For example, let’s say you’ve identified a core value of health to represent other
values, like energy and vitality.
Your values statement might be: “Health: to live with full vitality and energy every
day.”
Now you have a prioritized list of your top 5 to 10 core values, let’s see how well
you’re living them.
Assess how well you’re honoring each value by scoring each one on a scale of 1 to 10,
where 10 represents optimally living the value.
Record your score for each. You can set up a table in Excel or an online survey.
Date the top of the column. Repeat this exercise once a month or quarter to assess
your progress.
If you score below 7 in a particular value, what changes do you need to make? What
has to happen for you to further honor this value?
Here’s where self-coaching comes into play. Define your goals. Create a plan. Actualize
it.
Knowing your personal core values and their order of priority is helpful in making
difficult decisions.
Start by scoring your values as described above. Then, imagine your life several
months or years from now having decided.
For example, what will your new business or a family change your life?
Step into this future picture as much as you can. Have it come alive in your mind.
Now, score your values while keeping the vision alive in your mind. Does deciding
elevate your values score? Does it cause friction with one of your higher values?
This process will help bring a new level of clarity to your decision-making process.