SPREAD EAGLE.

"While you Li "e, Live Well."

-+--~ r)E.VC:YT'E.:E) 7'e) TFIE ~NI"T'BR 5'r5 e)F TFiE ¥>A'I~fENT5

• Wit a11.d Hutnor, f. rose aqd Poetry.

Vol. 1, No.1. Sanitarium, Battle Creek, 1 ich., February 25, 1888. Price 10 Cents. Per Copy.

\VHEN THE FINAL END 'VILL life but the scalpel. "h ·l!o'' fellow who makes use of this in- KILLING TUIE.
COl\IE. The Drs. skillfully removed the organ shvment.
of combativeness, inserted in its place
As the Spread Eagle soars far above all "You must learn to kill time," says Mr
one of approbativeness, took several
By Emma Train. m ney making schemee, we will pay each Carlyale, "or time will kill you." The
stitches out of the medula oblongata, eubscriber a dollar for his name and the question is, -how can this be dune? The
When we have learned the laws divine, which was found to be shirred, and put beet looking on&s shall be presented with most successful plan is always to have a
In every blade that grows; a few stitches in the central ganglia a (!bromo.
When we have caught the truths that shine big job on hand, with "million~ in it" ~nd
From every star that glows which had been cut on the bias, after no time for visitors I There IS nothing
We would respectfully call the atten- like a boom, individually, to drown the
When we have counted every grain which strict seclusion and silence were
tioo of our subscribers to the artistic il- sound of the hammer of the clock.-
Of s&nd on every shore; enjoined for tour weeks, which expired luotration on the first page of the Spread Give time no chance to talk-doctor it
When all the links in lif~'s Vl\llt chain this morning. The great mental strain
Eallle. It gives us great pleasure to yourselt. Let the world know you are on
We've counted rightly o'er;
caused loss of memory, and when we ques- deck; and propoae to run a b~g sail,
When we have roamed the depths of space tioned the paper, we learned the sad truth st£\te that we have secured the services of against wind and wave, and you will nev-
And named each glowing sun th'll distinguished ''sketch artist", Z. Q. er hear the call of the hour.-It is those
And found each planet in its place that it had forgotten its name and could Df'nnis of Cincinnati, and that from who have nothing to do, or think th~y
Since time its rounds have run; no* remember where itl!l former dress had tin1e to time we will be able to give our can do nothing, that fe~l time a b?rden.
\vhen we have followed back the thread been stored. But bemg very patriotic, it . , . . '. . be greatest trouble with people IS that
Through centuries untold, h ht · ld l'k t b 11 d th fnenda sketches of the Samtarmm that thev don't think half enough of themselves
Unwound the mysteries long fled t oug It wou 1 e o e ca e e will be true to life and twice as natural. There is a bonanza just in front of you!
And named the strar.ds of gold; Eagle, and, having the largest circulation . Gc for it-and you will forget it-time,
w~th its" doJefn\ tales an~ difeea-;~nd
1

h f
we av~ _oun , e m1g Y
- th
d
~re-.::rro:· .:.. i l l g-t5v rq
· ht source of any paper in the world, we decided"1'to
, . • i Ll _ • " ~-r "~ ,., , _
~~ . t ... <>-n ~ - ...;i. ep ~ ,,. ~v .., rv . ~· · '
0
" \ ' JV DO GIRLS CHE'V GU.l\I? I
0
-

rom whence have 'started on their course water supply being short, we did not have I - · - - - - - which flesh is hPir to- will not be felt or
The worlds that round us roll; it christened so that the name can yet b 1
heard in the din and bustle of your
d . •• his momtntous question has taxed the aroused energies.
When we have solved the problems deep '
Of one immortal life; chanr~d should our patrons esue, And gigantic intellect of present and past gen-
And learned to read the mystic sleep now with a new name, and new dreaR, erations to their utmost limit. JUST TRY IT.
That quiets all its strife; which latter is made after the Jeness- Students have consumed midnight oil,
yet their labors have been rewarded only
When we have gathered up the tears Miller- Mother- Hubbard combination by the discovery of gum in the lampwick.
That fell through earth's long night, style, we make our llow. G rrespondence on the subject has fail- Bj Laura C. B.t+
When human hopes, and human fears We exceedingly regret what we are ob- ed to develope gum enough to stick the We think that the San. is a very nice place
Wera lost to angel sight; envelope,- the weary correspondent
When we have learned to legislate liged to do with one copy of the Spread throws up his hands in despair and ex- To cure all the ai'ments of body or face,
In God's eternal halls Eagle this evening. We hadfuliyir:tend- claims ''Devel(ope) take the envelope!" We'll tr~at you so well, you'll feel like a
And caught the measnr~ and the weight ed to h~ve a hundred and fifty thousand newman
mhe Postmaster General in answer to If you'll. do as you're told, while you
Of every truth that falls; copies printed on the New Riley general inquiry condescends to elucidate stay at the San.
When thought's sublimest heights are ours Electric Press, but on our way to the in t"rms general and emphatic as follows:
"Enclose stamp for reply." If you've lost your ambitio~, got a spell
With all the light supreme; preas room, we encountered that small The girl whose composition sujol'gests of the blues,
When we have gained life's fullest powers
And dreamed its grandest dreams; black individual without whom a print- the delicate tint of strawberry blonde, Can't breathe as you ought, or wear
When we are sta.Jlding band in ha11d ing office would be incomplete, who in and whose heredity has tended in the di- too tight shoes
all infinity · his mad haste pied the form and i!ent the rect ion of red-head-ity chews gum care- You'll hear sqme good talk on the natur-
With fully culled from the billows ol the.Red al plan,
With every truth at our command,·- type all flying into the place where pied Sea. And we'll give you some "grits'' if you'll
The final end will be!
type always goes. As pie is a scarcity in 'I'he girl with Auburn tresses and flaxen come to the Saa.
EDITORIAL. this institution, there was a general rush bang, bangs the door as she chews her For, we've lots of good doctors to aid he11,
favorite brand of Rmber imported from
made by the office hands to get a piece the south shore of the Baltic, a sure cure in this,
After weary weeks of silen0e, we are and in about three second!! after the acci- for al}.tic-doloreaux. Tho' it may be a bone, or a muscle you'll
at last able to resume the publication of dent not an individual type could be ' ue girl with nut-brown curls chews
gu.u secreted by the butternut tree. She ou, whatever the plan
our society journal. L etters, telegrams found. However, Dr. Kellogg has given mu~h butternut at the Samtarium where egret that you came
and t elephones have been pouring into tlie peremptory orders that no other form chP·tnuts lil;e cheap.
offic~ daily, asking the cause of th pa- shall bt~ pied in this society, Pven if our 'Ihe girl with raven Jocks chews R'Um --- ··------,.
·'SPOON £YING"
per's non-appearance, but the heart of printing offic~ wns to lose its devil. We manufactured out of sedim. nt from ink-
bot .les still ht'r admirers persist in •·raven"
the paper was too full for utterance and have purchased, at great expense, the ab•mt her beauty.
they have remained unanswered till the sole use of Profeesor Rlley and Edison's '.L1ey all do it. But why do they do it? It is understood that Dr. Kellogg is
present t me. It, become~ our sad duty new elevated electric railway by which Ag11 n W~< ask why do girls ch~w gum? experimenting and hopes soon to discover
to explain why the paper suspended pub- the South Sea Island subsnribers and Bui this time we ask ~ot) a miss. the germ producing the fatal malady of

in p rison for blackmail an~ libel. His the folding room. A private telephone choose gum.
sad fate so grieved the paper that it from our office will connect with every
Evbry premonitory prompting of a glo-
lication. It was devotedly attached to those who summer at the North Pole can rions past leads up to the meritable con- "spooneying". In the meantime, cloee
__________
its late editor, who is now languishing have our paper three hours after it leaves clusion that girls chew gum because they confinement is suggested, as the malady
is so catching. ,

•'There is a gain for all our losses.

•

wept its "Voice" away and its brain be- city in the world, and at any time you "Good gracious" said an antiquated ThPre is a balm for Hery pain" aayi the
came paralyzed. A consulta ion with the can call us up and get the latest news Mi the ot httr evening, as she watched Dr. poet. We wonder if the balm referred to
Sanitarium M. D's. r ,sultt'd in the unan from everywhere. To encourage enter- Ri t y's magic wand waving gracefully was hot fomentations, or whether as a
oY th head of a handsome young wid- quick and effectual cure for existing ills,
imous conclusion that it must be sent prise and the dissemination of thought ow 'bow I wish that 'sparking machine a bomb of a more explosive nature was
to the ward, as nothing would save its we will pay a small premium to every had een in use thirty years ago." recommended.

Digitized by the Center for Adventist Research

 I
The Spread Eagle • I heard it. "It lS just what we want
I wake us up her.," said he '·and I will h .. Jp
.0 Also that both the great partiPs in Parli-
meLJt are Hoyahstic, and if there was a
THE HALLELUJAH WEDDINGr ic,elastic sort of march, as if the warmth,-ALPHABETICAL JINGLES.
and glow and sunshine of the lov.. ly tropic-
A most delightful birthday surprise
party was given the senior editor of the
i you all I can." So the two went lo l-tepublican sentiment at large there al state of matrimony was hurrymg them A is for Alway that :Jlever young man Spread Eagle by several of her Sanitarium
work and on Monday. the 21st of Nov. waul~ su re_ly be ~great Republican party on, so to speak. Every member oi the Whom, we regret, is soon leaving the friends on the evening of Feb. 26.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT THE 8ANI- th&first meeting was neld and a grtat to vmce this sentiment. Both sides argu- One evening last week aa we were sit- Army answered to the roll call down to San.
TARIUM. many peopla ~ame 1ogether and one Wick- ed ;:e.ry ~ell bnt the judges rendered the ting in our plush, cushioned, editorial Billy, th~:~ boot-black. Statistics show that in the total popula-
ham by name was made elJairmW-J B is tfor Baldwin, numbers one, two and tion of the world the propot tion of wo-
declSlon m favor of the affirmative. chair waitin~ in the dim twilight for After an appropriate prayer by the com- bree,
of the mee ing and he exp 'aiullt.i contributions which never oame, a gentle mander-in-ohief, the bride rendered with men is greater than that of mfln. An ex-
Terms.-Every person subscribing for what sort of a society it was iuteuded to And for Bond and for Brown and cellflnt illustration of th·· "survival of the
Bnrmeh, India and the missionay work rap was heard upon our door, such a tim- thrilling effect the solo which, was not so our poet Miss B.
the Spread Eagle will receivtl a hand- form. One that should deb?.te questious, of lVIt~s .imbrose was talk!'d about and id, faint, little rap, rap, rap, that we were low but that it could be heard tbrough- fit tllst.
some present and a year's subscription give readings and declam;uions, reatl explmneJ by tt at lady in tho parlor on incliued to think some gentle spirit had out the audience, commencing with these 0. is for Chapman in her pretty tea In a late sensational novel we noticed
Free. says and sing songs, and also read the p t- \Y_E>dnesday evening and w~, s very good winged its way earthward; and hMing lines: gown,
Mns. LowE, .... . ... . ... ...... EDITREss. p~rs wllich ~honlll be attached to the s~ ·­ M1ss. Ambrose also rxhibited Borne lost some of its "backbone" in its flight, "This is the way I lo'1g have sought, So cheery and brij'ht, with never a the following remarkable statement:
Mrss SEARs, . .... ............ AssiSTANT ciety. A committee on organization w s frown. "With one arm be held her beautiful
clo_rhmgmade by th e Burmese which was had stopped at thl' Sanitarium to get And mourned because I found it not." head above the chilling wavt->il and with
appointPd ana±he meeting adjOUl'Ued t 1 qmte as good as someoiourmodern work. 11traighteu.. d up again. .But why should This was quickly followed by seven fe. D iS for Dean highly versed in olasswal the other called loudly for help."
the next nigbt. · it rap on our door when Dr. Lindsay's male quartettes in the hymn beginning:
The pres.,nt officers of the Sanitarium 'rhe n ext night tlH'Y came togeth r lore,
l\IA'l'Ril\IONJAJ, COLUl\IN. office is jus r across th" hall? The news- ..Oh! for a man-Oh! for a man- Who keeps the bell boys all flying from We g~<t three meals a day at the "San"
Literary Society are: again aud appointrd th.. meeting to e paper editor is prov..rbially a \emperance Oh! for a mansion in th• skies"
President, Albert Sarbaugh; float to floor. observed a yeung gentleman, although
held reularly every 1:laturJay eveniv . persou. Never permitting spirits of any At the close of thie hymn, wLich was we eat but twice a day. "How is that we
Vice-£resident, Mrs. Minnie Mayor; Mr. Wickha01 was chosen President, M"i . ~ young lady of from kind to find a way into the sanctum. sung with the spirit and the understand- E i for everybody, lame, deaf and blind, asked?" "Well you see, we eat oat meal,
Secretary, C Von Hagen; PlacP, Vice-PrE>siJt>ut, and !\irs. Mmn e fair to middling intelli- We had, that afternoon, set up a whole ing the Rev. Mr. Tie·im-tigbt asked the ho have been lucky enough the San corn meal and graham meal.
Treasurer, Dr. Rilt>y. Mayor was chosen to ~dit the pH per; tl e and who hopt>s te column of solid no11pareil headed, "Yit-ld contracting parties to step in front of the tofi•d.
term or office being for four weeks. 1\ ·• more, desires the im- not to temptation," which not being ranks. It took 'just one minute and a F i Formen, whom we often beard mut- This paper was first
Curt Von Hagen was made Secrctnryo - mediate acquaintance of a quite case hardened, left a deep imttres- half to throw the uoos~> over their poor read on Saturday
FIRE AT THE EAST LODGE· ring good behavior, and Dr. RilE>y w s ***
The thank.;; of the patients and mana- gent:emau having a ma- sion on our soul, we would not open the necks and draw the knot so tight that
ter
" by, oh! why cannot I be treated to evening February 25 .
made Treasurar on the same condiLio . gers of the Samtarium ar., dn!l to the Bat- •ture mind and well filled door. even Hermann himself could never have at the Literary Socie-
As the Dr. was an attache uf the Sanita i- utter?"
tle Creek Orchestra who gave a very fine purse, one about 90 years .Another rat-a-tal-tat made us feel gotten out of it. ty. The following
A few days since smoke was seen issu- um it was thought safe to do this. It. h s concert in th 1 gymnasium, 'l'bursd:1y of age, who will have a mighty cre ~ py, and, with an flll-over-ish From the difference in the tone of the for Griffith, whose dear little girl Monday & subscrip-
ing from the roof of East Lodge, aud as been no little troublt> to the Dr., howev: ·, evrning, March 8th 'l'he pieres were all fatherly care over her. sensation, such as i1 only felt when a mau responses it did not take us long to do- a jewel so rare, a pure, perfect pearl tion was gotten up to
is usual under such circumstances some for as h s was go{n~ out from tho San. la e well rendered anJ enthusi;~stically re- As she is now at the San. is about to encounter the ghost of his cide that the whole affair was the out- ff i~ for Hixon, Hane, Hubbard and Hare, have it published and
very funny incidents occurred. Many of one evening a few weeks aftN his appoi n - ceived by the audience. under treatment for the mother-in-law, we opened the door very growth of leap year. Apd for Hall who gives strangers such 1his sheet is t,be con-
our rt~aders have doubtless seen the pret- mont, a stout woman, one of the membe s green ~yed monstE>r it is cautiously. There stood a full formed Congratulat-ions being next in ordl:'l', kindness and care. sequence. So grab
ty little hand grenades which adorn the of the Literary Society seizetl hold f *** highly necessary that he materialization in good light. firaci()us! the Spread Eagle representativa was ask·
we though~ that must be the VPry identi- ed to salute the bridegroom, but seE>in~r I is myself, so frightened and shy,
them quick and send
walla of the many halls aud corridors of him and very nearly shook him ant of uls Dimplesbo 1 ~smdwrinkle' i~ tl1e title should have sown his wild oats ar:d got- them to your friends,
the San. and felt very safe and secure coat, at the same time crying to the D . of the very inLeresting lecture give11. in ten through with the harvest before re- cal fellow who wrestled with Jacob, and his pale face fiuah with emotion, we con- I~ you laugh once again, I am sure I and every one who is
from dangers by fire because of them. ''So you were running off with our mane , •he gymnasium last 'l 'nesdfiY evening by plying to this advertisement. If he is not having a very healthy "understand- tented ourselves with grasping his band will cry. interested in y our
Well, upon the first alarm of fire several Wt're you? You thought because ~·o 1 tb" Rev. Hobert Nourse of Washington, baRhrul or shy she will exercise the bu- ing" we placed our hand on our hip pock- and making these heartfelt remarks: "Old J is for J ocko, wbo dwells down below, presence at the Sanitarium.
industriolli ones were seen caref,llly gath- were little you could squeeze out wit~ D C. 'rhis l!entl~man is indeed a very I man right divine, of 1888, by doing the et in an attitude of self defense before boy, we are glad you have studied that K is for Kellogg our skilled physician,
ering them up and carrying th~m safely out bemg seen; but I have boen watc - talented sp aker, hi'l lecture beiug filled question popping h· rself. Appearance no venturing a single word. Then in a faint part of the Scriptures which teaches you know.
out of doors to keep them from being bra- mg you and now I have caught you" to tho brim with wit and humor, shed- object if tbe old gentleman bas plenty of and trembling voice we asked: "Are you a you that it is not good for man to be A one-armed man does every thing in u
ken. One of the h t>lpers who often dis- But the Dr. ~ip.dly. as~ed permission ding a gleam of sunshine over the audi- spot cash. References exchanged; but spirit?" "No!" hs replied in tones of alone. We hope this may prove one of L is for Lindsay who lecturE's each week o:tf-hand way.
solves in tears began to weep copiously, show her t~e roJstitntwn and t~ey [ou ence who list ~ned in rapt attention to his to burry matters up a bit, she refers at thunder! "I am a man! Ia the language the matches which Lucifer forgot to put And dreso:es Maria in costumes unique
having possibly heard that salt water is th~t only ~1~1lt members ~l"d signed a words of encouragE>ment, funny stories, once to the fightmg edicor of the Spread of Pinafore, 'I am an Englishman', anj nis brand upon. Always keep a stick M is for Morey, who starving on "grits" ***
"Ob, mammal'' said a little on~ "I oat
better than fresh for extinguishing fire. pa1d makmg but 80 cts. m the treasu quaiu t sa) ings and good advise. At rhe Eagle. Address, enclosing stamp for re- have been commissioned to lea~e this handy. May your case never be empty A~ St>ven white ants, since when he's so much. It spollil my appetite."
Anothervery sizat>lelady helper, weigh- and th~ woman begged the Dr's. ~ar~on close of the lectnr{l Dr. Kellogg pro poRed ply, and 50 cents if you want photo, Miss package with the editor of the 'Spread and never need cleaning up. May the had fits.
ing about 180. in her haste and zea l ran and smd she would _talk to tho Society a rising vote o~ thanks which met with S., Spread Eagle office. E'.tgle', 'air you he?" We tremblingly pages of your lives be filled with live mat-
I
against the dignified and august person aud ask why they d1d not pay up. T~
af one brother P. who gently sat down on Dr.. told he;r that would bo _the bPst ash-
a Llllallilll~us responsP.
Wanted-a frisky young widow of
answered "Yes we are he with an s be- ter. Don't iorget to pay the devil well M is also for Myers who so charmingly
fore it." With one of those lightning on earth and when you come to lhy down sings,
***
An invention bas been recently patented
called a rotary llqueezer. They are likely
the frozen ground, "gr~at being the fall tuhon to his wounded f~ehnas shP ould *** sweet sixteE>n wishes to correspond with changes \Vhich puzzle one so, our spook, your Corms, may you submit a clean proof 'rhat we are surpnsed she is 1lill with- to become very popular with the girls.
the r" The long hose which is al make. a view to matrimony, with an elder gen- man disappeared leaving only that sheet to the Reader of h~>nrts." Over- Ollt wingil.
U man, hnving grey hair and m<m!!ta<~hEl..., round in our hand. Vis- come with we sat down and the
dragged out, but unfortunately the
should be abolished. r Wayne asap-
= ,.~·~-~,"*''- tnnne
~:rown
pref.>rred ht\'l'i ,.,
up sons and danghters. It 1s very ~;~;ro~f:~~~1~~~:~~~:~~~~~~We~~~:~;:reetivitl~·
X• fiashE>d with •·we are going home". Ly irrght,,:,_,;++-*':'l;l~~~a..af:4l:.taJ::.&fnL.a.nd.
e hli.Ve not kuown her long but we're
-n.~~"'fl~~'1':-~~~
wrong end was pointed toward the fire. essent\al that he should Wtlar a bl e neck nre she is witty. ***
Mr. P. after dilligent search found a lad- pointE>cl in the ~>ffirmative n1 d l\h. Vu . lightning rapidity through what we call
Hagen in the n egative, and so the San. , tic. Said widow having for the last our brain. We sent for a barrel of hot -------·- - - - - I ·s. O'Shaughnes~>y we've _ hunted Two oysters m a gallon of lukewarm
der and placed it carefully against the twenty years been intimately connected m vain fiuid at a church :f.'\i.r are no longer called
Literary Society was lannche(l npon the water and after givinll this fear-inspiring TAKEN FROl\I I.JJFE.
house after the fire was out. The fire de-
partment responded to the summons with great literary sen. I(by marrif!ge) with the nlue ribbon move- article several sponge baths and numer- atews, but aquariums.
•**
mPut. As she has been twice a patit>nt at ous fomentations, we dared to break the For a E>uitable rhyme to go with your
a lack of alacrity which made us think of
I
- - --• - --- I
tlie Snnitarium 'be is accustomt:d to good seal. and our gaze rested upon-Oh! nam~. If you are anxious to do some bard m~
a ward patient out for the first airing in Since the last issue of the '·Literny milk rich milk milk with cream on the
a wheel chair; but for all the smoke there Voice'' we have welcomed home onr pop- shades of "Billy Emerson!" a tambour- Pis for Place, both husband and wife 1ionary work, leave your club and spenc.
1top antl bottom; so it is absolutely necessa- me. Across the sheep's head of which F om her happy smilt>, they must live · ~our evenings with your family.
was but little fire and we were thankful ular matron, ~frs. Hall, from her visit to ry that ht.' should have a herd of Jerst>y
that we were provided with all tho var- the land of flowers. Her cheerful fliCe was a broad band of red satin on which without str:fe.
cows. A widower(or one who is iikely to was printed in letters of gold, in the Vol- ***
ious extinguishers before mentioned. makes ns feel tha ·· site bas brought ~on ' l' become one soou) filling the bill can ad- apuk lanlluage' thesa words: Compli-
Q is [or quamlry, a disease we have h ad The farmer has his work nearly fin-
or California's sunshine and brightn• ss Sillce alph lb~t jinglPS becnme our l~:!st ished, and will soon have nothing to do but
dress ''Widow H" care of the "Spread ments of the Salvatiou Army, .requesting sit on the fence and shoot wandering tree
CHRONICLES. back with her. Persons vif;iting 1be San Eagle". Photos exchanged. If there is . fad.
itarium may always feel sure orr -.:<>ivin :· the pleasure of your company to witness agents.
no photographer on the farm, a charcoal the marriage ceremony of our worthy cap- R is for Riley, who manufactures more ~**
~~~.graatest kindn ess aud ronrt.. sy from sketch \\ill answer the purpose. tain, Mr. John Smith, and our right hon- sparks There is nothing that will knock the
Chapter 3rd. A matnr!-l and thoroughly ri'Spectable
orable Brigadier General, Miss Mary 'l 'hau the worst of the "8ans" in their ground-pinrung ~~·om under a man's theo-
•• , 1 H ER ~IAJESTY QUF:EX V ICTORIA.•
widow, :1ged 72, with milo brown eyes Jones. Reserved seats for the entire jolliest larks. logical training quicker thar to walk against
And it came to pass in the mouth of --~· "• l [From a Photo. by Walcry, Photographer to
and front hair worn ala Mont arne, wishes
Spread Eagle staff including the devil of Sis for Sarbough, whose efforts so great the edue of a door in the da<K.
,/~·:'!:;.i(•''-:;o~-

~~
November that a certain man, one o{ the the Queen, London.l whom we are in no wise afraid. Did we Have made our society a holiday fete. ***
a husband yonng enough to adopt so
patients at the Sanit~rium,_ ha:ving no~h­ --. "~~ 1~ ::..'co~ 1 The dl'bctte o[ tho .Liternry Society on that she can educate him to her taste accept? Will a duck swim? Well I
should say we did accept. After two T is for Tucker our singer and preacher, Domingo An American tourist said that a San
ing to'do and a hard time d.omg It. concmv- '~ g .1 -::: Sahmlay evening was a most in teresting consists of "a few
and mould his opinions to her will. He In our musical soiree~; IJe's our princi- yell~, threerevolution
./-o
·-::'
. ~.~/I ,
~·CJ'.~'M~:f,
r~~'. ' l~--
". one. 'l'h~. l!uestion . Res~~h~rl: ----: That
ed the idea. of forming a literary society ,r_~ ~ ~ months of Sanitarium diet we feel "fresh",
from among the patients. Immediately
he rushed into the Doctor's office and
@rQ!~1 ~~
':..!;'
J:&~ .~ ~
I
.';.'
the eundJtlOU or Gr.E'ut Bntm.n I'OillLS to
Victom as t.ho last rr>ig-nin~ Soveng-n,
mnst hav · blue eyes and light hair b" of
an impulsive nHturP, and onP who' doe 8
not object to chewing gum himst>Jf to
and although we get into ao occcsional
pickle we still feel an indescribable long-
pal featun•.
U i. for us poor eJitors we,
or four hoots, some one acci·
dentally wounded, and come bome, darling
-all is forgiven.
found Drs. Riley and Dunlap to whom "-'L/\ . ~ /, ~ l~-~-'1' t ~
oiJJ I waR discussetl Huly on both sH 1es. I<'. A. keep her eompany. One with a decided ing for the ice cream and cake which the
announcemant of a wedding always sug-
\)jho in this kind of work are entirely
he impaded the new idea, whereupon ~~ .._. ' 1
~ Dean ;1n<l A. Harbaugh for the uffirma- Gav., Him Smulay for a ' Holiday.
\ ~"~" ~ -...J '<-1' "' • ~ tive, :mtl E. M. Ahlnch ;mel C. Van Hag- mnaical taste preferred. As said widow .Jtt sea.
• \ 1

~i 1\ ~' ~]{~~~
they both shouted "Eurekil"! From , 1 1s now being treatPd for being too hilar- gests. "Wlly were you not at the o1llcc yester·
them he went straightway to Dr and l\lrs. / · ':! \ I en fo,· the Ilt'gahve The points of dis- ious. she thinks the above dcscribPd hus-
Altboullh we were there long beforA Would you believe u man c01lld make V-is von HagaN, our heavy weight man day1 " questioned an employer of his cklr.ll
Place, both or whom at once s:I.id "It is It ~. ~ ~ \..~ ~ •. ,~~''/.'\ m1ssion on th' all'irmative werE>,-from band would do the hilarity act for 1ier
the appointed time, we found Centennial such headway in so short a time? Great Whose healthful appearance is a card as he entered his o1llce on Tuesday after

~ ~~~~~;_,.,~~t... ~ion theH~nseofLonls, tht~

the very thing needed to entiven aud \ ' " 4· ~ ; Mr. Dt>all, the now almost supreml' power Hall crowded to its utmost capacity and' hope ahead for dyspeptics! for the San. ~ewYear.
/ -.. thus saving her strength and nerve pow-
cbaer the patients up." He then visited ~ - ~ ·~,{ of the Homw or Commons, the degenera- er. It is very essential that the young
this notice over the ticket office window, W is for Washer, bowed down in despair, "Why, sir, you posted a notice last week
"Standing room all gone." Thank!:! to Having lost his Soule, asks the Parson's which read:
Wale~.
Dre. Hare and Stewart and was pleasE>d.
to hear them also express their ap- ~ ' ~)..,}\
.
. .· ·. ,
:I ~~ \
_,
. l J..
of
1ty of the Pnnce of
unpopular-
the growth of
man sbonld have a good nat. ural mother
who will not visit them too often. Ad- the pious look on our editorial face, we We are ort ... n mert with the iuqniry, best prayer. 'THIS OFFICE WILL BE OLOSED ON THE FillST
probation of the plan. Some of them ) ,& _~. ~\ ~ \ univenml snfl'rago, the little powe1· or the dress as quickly as possible Widow M., were accorded the b~st possible seat
for both seeing and hearing the whole
''Why do girls kiss each other and boys OF JANUARY NE:X:T'"
"And you absented yourself for that rea.-
o/~ '. r:-.:? ' G ~. do not?" We would suggest as a reason
f
very kindly offering to assist in any way Sovereign, llnd tho whole governmE>nt Spread Eagle office. And also for Woodward 110 tall, graceful
thev could to make the effort a succes&. 1 \ ,. . './ ( .> • and people, R<·pub !icnn in spirit, and will of thesh~w. that the girls have nothing better to kiss hnd fine, · son1"
Now the idea was all right, the next • ·' · soon be so in form. Mr. Sarbaugh that ~young lady, poetically inclined, who We had trimmed our lamp and had it and the boys have. That all the young ladies to him take "Yes, sir."
thing was to put it into practice. hmls from the Buckeye state, would like lighted before starting and although it a shine. "You may deduct a day's wages from
that conservatism wou'J E>nd iu a Repub- yQur weekly allowance. Perhaps it may
•rhe Patients at lhe 1:lan receiving the lican re'orm, th" Trafal~or-Square riots in- had gone out sev<'ral times on tb .. w.1.y
• Never since Moses smote the rock and
drew water bas there been any thiug that newR of the first publicatiOn o[ th e Spread dicate the state of the people and tbe un-
to marry. Sho nrefers a tall slendE>r per-
son with broaJ. forehead and a drooping we wero careful to have it burning when Our office was mistaken yesterday for X is for Xylophogous, which meanE feed- teach you to be more careful in the future.
the "post office", we don't know why, un- Monday was the second and not the first

--·-----
would run itself. The machinery must Eagle, Saturday, Feb. 25th. popularity of royalty in England. On moustache and brown eyes. If this the trumpet soundPd. Silence followed ing on wood,
be put in motion and as two were better the nega• ive sidE' Mr. Aldrich arguPd that should not meet the gaze of such an indi- that long loud toot! Every body's heart less that everybody has to resort to the A few weeks more here, and we think day of J:tnuary." ------
than one to start the machine so the man the irumPnso British debt wouM bolJ the vidual a different looking person might excet>t thab of the Spread Eagle's editor newspaper if they want to be well posted. that we could. A Hopeful Irishman.
began to look arotmd among th~ patients ''Wall:!tranger what's thn matter with people together antl that they were not (who Hat facing the audience) seemed put We looked the package over and takin~ Irish convict's letter to his wife: "Dear
apl?lY with a reasonable hope of success. p1ty on Uncle Sam's hard worked clerks, Y is for you, deu friends one and all.
for some one to whom he could coufide you? Look likt~'s though yor hfld dropsv ?" disposed to become a Republic. Mr. Von Bemg out of her teens, shA is no Spring on the spinal column the wrong way, so Mary. This is to let you know I am well
!!tamped him with a new one cent stamp, Wh~>n we make our bow, we ask no re-
his project. He was not long in finding ·'Well you SPO the doctors consulted Hagen hehl that there is no chance of chicken, and wants no foolishness. Only e~ger w... re they to get a peep at the bride. and hope to see you before very long. l've
about my case when I came and eflcb pre- such a change, and that to make such a The Salva ion band struck up the wed- and sent him away As ht~ bas .not re- call. been sentenced for the term of my natural
the right man. There was a right Sll.lart persons meaning business need apply·
young man from Dakota in the law and
loan business and to him he imparted the
scribed 2 glasses of bot water before e: ch change would be considered as improba
meal and there were five doctors but 'm ble by the political leadPrs as to import
afraid ten glass are nine too many.
Send photograph, specimen poem and ao-
cnrate bank account to Miss M., this
office.
ding march, when there came the lively
tread of many ft>et makini us think of
marching through Georgia, a very ecstat-
turned we hope he has been received all
right by his mother to whom be was di-
rected.
"'e
Z is Zo-ot-a-mist, Dr. Kellogg's one, sure life, but as they allow their prisoners one-
have given you now, all the trash third time for good behavior, you see I 0&11
lyou'll endnri, soon earn my freedom."
new idea and he was overjoyed when he a foreign Prince to rule this country.

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 ESSAY. I
But give to the world a right minded not have domestJC schools, an'l col- and religious advantages may be enjoyed
motherhood, aml in a few generatians leges, where all branches of housekeeping by all, and 'hus w1ll uur lunatic asylums
it will matter little who deposits the in their widest range, and most minute become divested of theis most fruitful
ballot; foL·, do you not see, both fathers details, are taught tlleore1lically and prac- source of recruits as is shown by reliable
THE EFFECT OF THE HIGHER ED- and mothera would then bear tlle regen- tically, in~ludiug_a training school for statistics.
erated stamp, and candiLlates and voters nurses of little children. When we look May we not hope that America will ere
UCATION OF WOl\IAN UP- alike be right minded people. the world over and see what the partial long give to the world new definitions of
ON THE \VORLD. <Jo a step furth er aud evaugel ize this I enlightenment of woman bas alrt>ady ac- ibe!tY and patriotism, by flooding every
enlightened mo therhood, an l you h LV.I complisbed, we must believe that wh~ n bemghtt>d recess of her tPrritory with
BY .MRS. J. H. BALDWIN, the millennia! d<twn, that shall g1·ow j fully liberated she willl~y tbe axe ?t the the light of truth, and thu.s becoming the
brighter and brighter till the full noon- root o[ the tree of ev1l anLl pat1ently beacon to all nat ions.
tide glory is ushered in; the iLleal reign strike blow after blow until the gi~tnt is Subjugation by force of arm• bas surely
It does not require argument or statis- of the .Redet'mer of the world, and Jlle- fallen. been given a fmr trial. and is it not time
tics to prove to in t'lligent people that thinks He would see of th~ travail or his 'l'hougll a discouraging task women are men rc>sort to more humane mPasures for
woman, though an imJJOrtant, has been, soul and be satisfied. I am talkiwr of doing much to reform those already curing wrongs than by committing worse
and in many countries is to-day a much higher edttcation in its most cumprel.jen- grown olcl in vice and are mak1~g com- wrongs?
abused factor of the human race. sive sense, not educatina the bram at be mendable efforts to form the children of ''If man carPd Jess for welllth llnd fame,
Man believmg himself to have been expense of rhe bo ly ot
moras or b, th; these iuto good and W!lolesome citizens. Ancl less for hattie titlds aud ~rlory,
I writ in 11llltwn lie:·rts a mtnt . .
GoJ's first thought, has ever maintained and to serve the purpose of a sym ri- It is her province to maint.a~u in the ~E't' mcd hett E>r tl ;m itt ~ong aud story.
the higb.est place in his own es timation; cal education all colleges fllld univer:;· ies poor districts of the large Cl ' I~s which If man, instead of nursing pt ide.
and the fact that GuLl did 110t say it was are equipped with cllapels and gymntlsi- are the bot beds of degradatiOn, frt-e Would leam to hate it, and a hl10r it;
where the poor mo 1
hers, who 1f more rt>lied ou truth to gmde,
good for woman to be created, but that it urns that every specie!- of training may go nurseries The worlll would be the hett .. r for lt.
was not good for man to be alon t~ be- haniinhand,andi,blushingly,must n- Hre acmal beasts of burden, may leave
comes significant and would seem to im- fess that these do uo t accomplish thd b- t tletr infants to- be tenderly cared for
ply that the masculiue being was the jects for which I hey wers es1ablished w- while they go out to eam their ~laily A VISITOR'S IDEA 0~~ THE SAN-
sole cousideratwn in the Infinite mind. caus~ of lax 11nd injudicious trainmg nr- bread and far too oftt-n t hA drink that IT.ARIUli DRESS.
"Might has constituted rht~ right an.i ing the impressible years of cbi tdh od makes brutes of their husbands.
menial and debasLug services have been and youth for which motht>rs are h ld 'rhese nurseries will be generously sup-
exacteJ of woman without regard to their directly responsible. plemented by fine kindergartens, the That promise, given in an ungual ded
couoequences upon the human family; Some argue that culinary aud ot er most radically_ civili~iug-_an~ humanizing ~oment to write something for the San-
until outraged nature has taken her re- domestic denartments would suffer n- of all the chantable mstitutwns. If leg- Itarmm Saturday Night Journal of Liter-
venge in . all conct~ivable degrees of suf- der this new re(l'ime. Do HOt these de- islation does its appointed work theas ature and FQnuy Sayings bas been a
fering and ctim~. partments suff;r now because oE ~he kindergartens will be supplementPd by a thorne in my side ever since.
Even the light of a risen Redeemer frivolous tbouahts aml ultra fashiom le coercive systt'm of free schools, with the In the first place it perplexes me to
was sought to be misappropriated aud lives led by ~illions of mothers? If high schools, the poor man's c:>lleg~ from find a suitable subject. I want to be
confined to the ft~w of the masculine gen- households are to be neglecte 1, h w which it, is but a step to the State Univer- eomplimentary, but to compliment the
der, anLl for many centuries there linger- would their so-called beads better emp oy sity, the possible good of those endowed S~tnitarinm within its own walls, where so
ed on the honzon but the faintest dawn their time with idle gossip and scan!lal with intellect and ambitio!l and who have many wonderful cures are placed on rec-
of a christian civilization that should frivo1ity and dissipation, a curse in au of emblazoned on their banners the motto ord e<wh week, would be entirely out of
eventually shine in its meridian splendor themselves, or in some literary and ci- "w_here there's a will there's a way." place.
upon woman ·directly, and through her entific research, which, in the abstract re Will you not agree that these are the sue- 1'he next best thing I can think of to
upon the entire race. But whether man right and useful, though they may h ill cessive links of a golden chain that shall pay compliments to is not the ladies'-
would bear or forbear, the voice of the timed. Bnt the higher education of o- eventually bind society into a virtuous 0, no; but the nice, loose fitting blouse
Mast,jr recognizing womau as his mother man includes domestic economy. It ·n- unit?-the sole uuerrin~ and radiant ancl elmt worn by the major portion of
and sister comes riuging down the cen- eludes everything that enhances lter remelly for intemperance and its kindred them within the Sanitarium walls, showing
turies, frequently awakening an echo in sphere or usefulness by systematizing her social evil. This is the livin~, advancing, off beautifn l woman in all her lovleiness
the heart and. brain of some intrepid wo- daily routme and thus econotuizing time energizing gospel of civilization which and perfection of form.
man, and a h~roinecommandsthe world's and talent. Oh! how woman has been every woman may help to disseminate ~ut wait; I will be compliment.ing the
attention, and history records her a pbe- forced to abuse this short probat10n called. without opposition, aud by which she lad.Ies before I know· it; it is so nt~tural,
nomenon-a fr, ak of nature-not a sug- life! may do more toward ridding prisons of you know. If, in the years to come
tion that the millions of women who I would ask you of wh'it advantage it their iumates and. the gallows of its vic- when the many now inval;ds, then '
wereauaUtT!ai curse to the world mlght can be to the world; that llygi . . '. "'in twoganerationn, than centuries of restored to round health----.:-""""'----'
possibly be developed into a blessing. tists spend their patient. energies in work- l.,gislation could accomplish. Because will show their womanly wisdom
And thus neglecting the foundation ing out the intricate problems of iiPt'cs woman is just emerging from the darkness sound 8ense by still continuing o wear
principles, the structure called civiliza- for th0ir fellowmen, when those on whom and enjoys the dawn of liberty with such the Sanitarium dress, this renowned in-
tion has ever been unstable and danger- thlily must depend tt• execute their fiue zest she is eager to share the ligbt with stitution will have done a noble work.
ous. E.pun theories are totally incapabl" of all who are groping; and educatwn in its
.Barbarians have been multiplied and ~rasping their import; and so by·tbe time most pervasive sense is the fulcrum upo!1 QUESTION BOX.
carnage has done its fatal work in a piti- they have passed through th~> bauds of which she would place her lev~>r to raise
less but futile endeavor to civilize tha --never so beautiful, amiable anJ well the whole ont of moral Llegradation.
world. disposed, undisciplined house-wives into Victor Hugo said, "Destroy the Cave What is th~ difference between a heavy
T1me has sped on racognizing in its 1 the hands of unskilled cooks, the result is Ignorance and yon destroy the Mole extra and a hght t- xtra as charged in our
wake the need of educatio!l for man, bad digestion and alas! worse morals. Crime." An important qut>stion IS how wel'kly bills? Ans. A light extra is pay-
while with rare exceptions woman has not The world in its present constitnency shatl these poor children subsist while ing for a broken window "pain", (pane),
been allowed the crumbs that fell from seems f
· earful that opinions will clash recovering their tducation, and woman's A heavy extra is when Mr. Morey pays
her master's table. when the feminine mind has become i!- foursi~ht when trained to meet emergen- for a special massa,;e given by O'Neil.
It becomas us to inqnira what the study lumina ted, and it would indeed lw sad if cies willuo doubt be found equal to this
of the dead lan;:ruages ami the abstruse discord should reign more triumphantly oue and the boys and girls will have In- \Vhy are so many more freaks of na-
sciences does for the masculine mind; not than it has hithHto. crative industral employment furnish~d ture seen in American sanitariums than
one in a thousand expeJts to use a tithe But the experiment is alreaLly !JWfPD for their spare hours, that as early as pos- those of ot!J:l~ r countries? Ans. Because
of the branches he ha3 earnes.ly delved to be worth the trial and as its legitimate sib'e they may become self-supporting. America is and will always be a free
into for years, and might not bd able .to results we see tolPr:mce llt. place of bitter- 'l'heir kinLlergarten training Will have country(freak country).
translate a Ure..lk or Latin sentence in a nee!!, frankness substituted for deceit pre,,ared them to accept remunerative !a- Who has the most ups and downs in
decade after receiving his diploma. honor for irresponsibility, punctuality for bor in place of idle l't'Crew.tion, so that the Sanitarium? A.ne. The elevator boy.
B tt his mind has llaJ the beae!its of thG tardiness, reality for affectation, stability when they arrive at adult yt>ars they
diseiplint~ and drill which can only be ob- for fickleness, in short reaso11 for t at shall be self made men and women with Why is the Sanitarium Zwieback like
tained in th-1se memal gymnasiums. In nondescript faculty known as intuition, some excuse for worshipping their maker. the tonsi'itis? Ans. Because ,it is (has)
short he has learned how to think. All so g~nerously and indisputably ac ... or ed It has been repeatedly demonstrated done up Brown.
the faculties of his brain have been to woman. that the childrtn of beggars are respon-
Things assumtl importance in i · sive to efl'orts of encouragement which
What is the difference between old and
aroused and giv<-n exercise and tone, vigor vo ng ladies? Ans. Old la lies are hair-
and veloe1ty, and, providing he had a "orld in direct proportion as they b ~cotnfl would ha \'e no e1iect upon the parents if le s and cappy while young lp.dies are
fair endowm"nt as a cbil1l and thnt his scientific. We ":>tand in awe of civil :md app ied directly; and y»t the little one in careless and happy.
physJCal and moral training . have not military governments because they om- who~e h"art and mind the leave of regen-
been n .. glected, he t'merges the full body the power of constitntt~d a.ut11ority eration has been hiddl:'n, has proven ver- Why is thA 8amtarinm like many cap-
roundt>d, broad minded man, capable of based upon seientific principles; whilst ily the Kingdom of Heaven in the hovel i•a1ists? A.m. The Moore we havt;, the
fulfilling his high destiny. doml:'stic authority, which should b· the of the b"ggar. With this boundla~sintel- Moore we want.
Oan you conceive of a position wht're strong foundation of thes,•, is trampled lectual and moral realm constllntLy un- In what way does the Sanitarium differ
that man's education would not prove a under foot. Th+>re should be a sci..,nce of folding to woman sbe will surely be so from and greatly excel every city in the
blessing to him and reflect blessings upon dom,stic gov.-rnmPnt, which wi l nqver absorbe1 in her own sphere and so jnstly world? Aus. It has a lady Mayoil'
all witll whom he comes in contact? exist until woman is capable oi grasping approved of it, that she can haw no desire
Now, suppose this picture instead of and conqu~>ring the situation. to engross man's; and thns the world will Why is the Sanitarium far more intem-
representing ma11, represents woman, and A.t present it is a neuhal territl ry at be saved that tiresome harrangue about perate tban th~ moon? Ans. The moon
th1s unit were mul iplied by as many best-at worst a never ceasing cans0 of woman's sphere. When tb.e wom..-n of only g~>ts full once a month, while the
millious us it r~quires, to mot her the hu- bitter strife. There 1s no chart or c Jl11- the moral districts are tborougllly arous- Sanitarium tries its utmost to ket=·p full
man race; think y01.~ the world would not pass, hl'lm, rudder or anchor, each fmttily eli upon this subject, they will band to- all of the time.
b~ intiuitely bt·nefitted? I speak from is a law unto itself. What the remedy gather for common iuprov.-ment and a
the mother's standpoint, than which, shall be and how applied, are quo lions sp:rit of commendable Lliscontent will be Why is the Literary SociPty like the
there is none higher, for indeed it IS all that must b"' settled as all oth r impo t- engendered and wax stronger and strong- patients in the SAnitarium? Ans. Be-
absorbing aBt questions ar~:~ being settled by agita- er, until farm life is rt~volutionized, and c:-mse neithPr of them have any constitu-
I am nut an aLlvocat 1 of universal suf- tion a.od experience. in tead of eking oHt a mere exiBtence of tion to speak of.
frage, ye when the path of dnty leads to We have nurses' training schools, i-. isolated drndgery, the families of farm-
the ballot box, I wi,l doubtless walk cultural. horticultural and b n s i :n e ~ er in the future will be grouped togeth- Wanted-A book on which to bang the
therein. scnools and colleges, and why should we ( er in villages where educational, social, "close" of a lecture.

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