Dataset - Staying Friends With An Ex: Raw Data
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Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for
post-relationship friendship
Justin K. Mogilski ⁎, Lisa L.M. Welling
Department of Psychology, Oakland University, United States
a r t i c l e i n f o a b s t r a c t
Article history: Compared to motivations for cross-sex friendship, little research has examined motivations for friendship be-
Received 12 February 2016 tween ex-partners after romantic relationship dissolution (i.e., post-relationship friendship; PRF). In Study 1, par-
Received in revised form 28 March 2016 ticipants (N = 348) act nominated reasons for why someone might remain friends with an ex-partner. In Study 2,
Accepted 1 April 2016
participants (N = 513) rated the importance of staying friends with an ex-partner for each reason given in Study
Available online xxxx
1 and completed the PID-5-BF and HEXACO to measure domains of clinically relevant and non-pathological per-
Keywords:
sonality. Principle component analysis identified seven categories of reasons for staying friends. Reasons that in-
Cross-sex friendship dicated that an ex-partner is reliable, trustworthy, and of sentimental value (i.e., reliability/sentimentality) were
Relationship dissolution given the highest importance ratings whereas reasons that indicated that continued friendship was practical
Dark personality (i.e., pragmatism) were given the lowest ratings. Men rated pragmatism and sexual access reasons as more impor-
Sex difference tant than women did. Furthermore, antagonism scores on the PID-5-BF, and the Honesty–Humility and extraver-
sion scores on the HEXACO predicted importance ratings for pragmatism and sexual access. Our findings are
consistent with previous research and suggest that PRF may provide opportunity for ex-partners to exchange de-
sirable resources (e.g., love, status, information, money, sex) after romantic relationship dissolution.
© 2016 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.
1. Staying friends with an ex: sex and dark personality traits predict partners (i.e., post-relationship friendship; PRF). PRFs can have positive
motivations for post-relationship friendship and negative consequences on stress, coping, and general health de-
pending on the types of coping strategies used by each partner
Friendship is a fundamental aspect of interpersonal relationships in (Chung et al., 2003; Perilloux & Buss, 2008), the extent to which each
humans (reviewed in Hruschka, Hackman, & Macfarlan, 2015) that partner engages in friendship maintenance behavior post-break-up
has likely solved a number of adaptive problems during social evolution (Dailey, McCracken, Jin, Rossetto, & Green, 2013), perceptions of control
through the formation of cooperative alliances (DeScioli & Kurzban, over the break-up (Gray & Silver, 1990), separation acceptance (Mason,
2009) and exchange of material or social resources (Barclay, 2013; Sbarra, Bryan, & Lee, 2012), and the extent to which friendship con-
Cropanzano & Mitchell, 2005). Same- and cross-sex friendships (CSFs) tinues to provide valuable resources (Busboom, Collins, Givertz, &
confer similar benefits (Baumgarte & Nelson, 2009; Lewis et al., 2011). Levin, 2002). Ex-partners are more likely to remain friends after a
However, CSFs also facilitate mating opportunities (Guerrero & break-up if they were friends prior to romantic involvement (Metts,
Mongeau, 2008; Hendrick & Hendrick, 2000). Indeed, although both Cupach, & Bejlovec, 1989), if the disengager used de-escalation tactics
men and women tend to keep their friendships and sexual relationships (see Banks, Altendorf, Greene, & Cody, 1987), if the relationship was
separate, sexual feelings and tensions still exist in many CSFs (Halatsis & characterized by romantic commitment (Tan et al., 2014), if an ex-
Christakis, 2009) and nearly half of college students have engaged in partner is still perceived as desirable (Banks et al., 1987), or if an individ-
sexual activity with otherwise platonic cross-sex friends (Afifi & ual reported satisfaction with the relationship (Bullock, Hackathorn,
Faulkner, 2000). Clark, & Mattingly, 2011). Likewise, neglect and avoidance, lack of sup-
The benefits and costs of CSFs prior to and during a romantic rela- port by friends and family, and a partner's involvement in a new roman-
tionship have been studied extensively (e.g. Bleske-Rechek & Buss, tic relationship are barriers to PRF quality (Busboom et al., 2002).
2001; Bleske-Rechek et al., 2012; Lewis et al., 2011; Reeder, 2000, Together, this evidence suggests that PRFs serve similar functions to
2003; Tan, Agnew, VanderDrift, & Harvey, 2014). Comparatively little that of platonic CSFs insofar as PRFs are maintained, or dissolved, de-
research has examined motivations for friendship between ex- pending on the perceived value of the friendship and the extent to
which ex-partners engage in mutual friendship maintenance.
⁎ Corresponding author at: Department of Psychology, Oakland University, Rochester,
PRFs also resemble other platonic CSFs in that they may involve con-
MI 48309, United States. tinued romantic or sexual interest. Previous romantic involvement pre-
E-mail address: [email protected] (J.K. Mogilski). dicts sexual attraction in platonic CSFs (Kaplan & Keys, 1997), and ex-
http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016
0191-8869/© 2016 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.
Please cite this article as: Mogilski, J.K., & Welling, L.L.M., Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-
relationship friendship, Personality and Individual Differences (2016), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016
2 J.K. Mogilski, L.L.M. Welling / Personality and Individual Differences xxx (2016) xxx–xxx
partners are rated low on friendship quality (but high on romantic de- 3. Study 2
sirability) compared to friends with no romantic/sexual history
(Schneider & Kenny, 2000). Women are more likely to make in- 3.1. Method
person contact with an ex-partner who has desirable qualities
(DeLecce & Weisfeld, 2015) and dissolved relationships are more likely 3.1.1. Participants
to renew when partners report lingering feelings or have not dated Participants (N = 513; 358 female; age: M = 21.03, SD = 4.62;
others since the breakup (Dailey, Jin, Pfiester, & Beck, 2011). Interest- range = 18–48) were recruited as per Study 1. University students
ingly, individuals who receive more resources from an ex-partner who participated in Study 1 did not participate in Study 2. The majority
(e.g., love, status, services, information, goods, money) report higher of participants were White (78.6%, 6.8% Black, 6.2% Asian, 4.1% Hispanic/
PRF quality, particularly if they are satisfied with these resources Latino, 4.1% other), exclusively heterosexual (96.3%, 3.1% bisexual, 0.6%
(Busboom et al., 2002). This suggests that PRF formation may permit re- exclusively homosexual), and currently in a romantic relationship
lationship renewal or future exchange of valuable resources. (62.4%). All reported having experienced at least one break-up.
To further understand motivations for PRF, the current study used an
act nomination procedure to identify reasons for staying friends after a 3.1.2. Materials and procedure
break-up (Study 1). We then used an act frequency procedure to cate- Participants provided demographic information and were given the
gorize items generated from the act nomination (Study 2). We also ex- following prompt:
amined the extent to which clinically relevant (e.g., dark) and non-
pathological personality features and sex predict rated importance of In this study, we are interested in how romantic partners interact after a
these reasons. Dark personality features are a collection of antagonistic break-up (i.e., after their romantic relationship has ended). Sometimes,
behaviors and interpersonal styles that are associated with disagree- two ex-partners will continue to remain friends after their romantic re-
ableness (e.g., Egan & McCorkindale, 2007), manipulativeness and cal- lationship has ended. For example, they might still openly communicate
lousness (Jones & Figueredo, 2013), and exploitativeness (Jonason, Li, with one another from time to time, seek each other out for advice, want
Webster, & Schmitt, 2009). Individuals who score higher on measures to spend time with one another, etc.
of dark personality tend to choose friends for strategic purposes
(Jonason & Schmitt, 2012), rate friendship as lower in importance Next, participants rated the importance of each of the 153 act nom-
(Lyons & Aitken, 2010), and prefer short-term versus long-term roman- inations (anchors: 1 = unimportant, 5 = extremely important). Finally,
tic relationships (Jonason, Valentine, Li, & Harbeson, 2011; Koladich & participants completed the Personality Inventory for DSM-5 Brief Form
Atkinson, 2016). Thus, it is likely that these traits will be associated (PID-5-BF; American Psychiatric Association, 2013) and the HEXACO-
with valuing friendships for utilitarian or instrumental reasons, such 60 (Ashton & Lee, 2009). The PID-5-BF measures several pathological
as to maintain sexual access. personality features (Krueger, Derringer, Markon, Watson, & Skodol,
2012) and interpersonal styles (e.g., manipulativeness, hostility) that
are associated with other measures of dark personality (Southard,
2. Study 1 Noser, Pollock, Mercer, & Zeigler-Hill, 2015), such as the Dark Tetrad
(Buckels, Jones, & Paulhus, 2013) and spitefulness (Marcus, Zeigler-
2.1. Method Hill, Mercer, & Norris, 2014). It measures five dimensions of pathological
personality: negative affect (i.e., the tendency to experience negative
2.1.1. Participants and procedure emotions), detachment (i.e., introversion, social isolation, and anhedo-
Participants (N = 348; 243 female; age: M = 21.43, SD = 11.88; nia), antagonism, (i.e., aggression accompanied by assertions of domi-
range = 18–51) were recruited from an Eastern United States univer- nance and grandiosity), disinhibition (i.e., impulsivity and sensation
sity and from various social media websites (e.g., Reddit, Twitter). seeking), and psychoticism (i.e., disconnection from reality and illogical
Most participants were exclusively heterosexual (96%, 3.4% bisexual, thought patterns). Similarly, the HEXACO measures dimensions of per-
0.6% exclusively homosexual) and White (77.6%, 9.2% Black, 4.6% sonality that resembles the Big-5 and includes a sixth honesty–humility
Asian, 2.9% Hispanic/Latino, and 5.7% other), and roughly half were cur- factor which shares common variance with measures of the Dark Triad
rently in a romantic relationship (55.7%). (Lee et al., 2013), disordered personality traits (Crego, Gore, Rojas, &
Following previous act nomination procedures (e.g., Buss & Craik, Widiger, in press), and unethical decision-making (De Vries & van
1983), participants responded to the following prompt: Gelder, 2015).
Please cite this article as: Mogilski, J.K., & Welling, L.L.M., Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-
relationship friendship, Personality and Individual Differences (2016), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016
J.K. Mogilski, L.L.M. Welling / Personality and Individual Differences xxx (2016) xxx–xxx 3
Please cite this article as: Mogilski, J.K., & Welling, L.L.M., Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-
relationship friendship, Personality and Individual Differences (2016), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016
4 J.K. Mogilski, L.L.M. Welling / Personality and Individual Differences xxx (2016) xxx–xxx
Table 2 4. Discussion
Intercorrelations among extracted components.
Please cite this article as: Mogilski, J.K., & Welling, L.L.M., Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-
relationship friendship, Personality and Individual Differences (2016), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016
J.K. Mogilski, L.L.M. Welling / Personality and Individual Differences xxx (2016) xxx–xxx 5
Table 3
β regression weights and 99% confidence intervals for multiple regressions predicting importance ratings for each component from scores on the PID-5-SF and HEXACO.
Reliab./senti. Pragmatism Cont. rom. att. Shared resources Dim. rom. att. Soc. relat. maint. Sex. access
β CI β CI β CI β CI β CI β CI β CI
PID-5-SF
Negative affect .20⁎ [.08, .40] .02 [−.09, .12] .22⁎⁎ [.11, .42] .14 [.01, .41] .15 [.01, .33] .13 [−.01, .31] −.02 [−.23, .17]
Detachment .05 [−.11, .24] .04 [−.07, .16] .07 [−.07, .27] .06 [−.11, .33] .12 [.00, .34] .10 [−.02, .32] .13 [.04, .47]
Antagonism .00 [−.20, .20] .27⁎⁎ [.20, .46] .05 [−.11, .27] .03 [−.19, .31] .07 [−.08, .31] .09 [−.05, .34] .10 [−.04, .45]
Disinhibition .10 [−.04, .33] .08 [−.05, .21] .06 [−.10, .26] .13 [.00, .46] .04 [−.13, .23] .11 [−.03, .33] .07 [−.09, .37]
Psychoticism −.02 [−.16, .13] −.03 [−.12, .07] −.03 [−.17, .11] −.08 [−.30, .06] −.08 [−.23, .05] −.01 [−.15, .13] .01 [−.16, .20]
HEXACO
Honesty–Humility −.03 [−.02, .01] −.18⁎ [−.03, −.01] −.20⁎⁎ [−.05, −.02] −.05 [−.03, .01] −.08 [−.03, .00] −.10 [−.03, .00] −.15⁎ [−.05, −.01]
Emotionality .08 [−.01, .02] .00 [−.01, .01] .07 [−.01, .02] .09 [.00, .03] .01 [−.01, .01] .10 [.00, .03] −.12 [−.04, .00]
Extraversion .15⁎ [.01, .03] .10⁎ [.00, .02] .15⁎ [.01, .03] −.04 [−.02, .01] .13 [.00, .03] .14 [.00, .03] .23⁎⁎ [.02, .05]
Agreeableness .15⁎ [.01, .03] .06 [.00, .02] .01 [−.01, .01] .09 [.00, .03] .05 [−.01, .02] .12 [.00, .03] −.04 [−.02, .01]
Conscientiousness .02 [−.01, .02] −.08 [−.02, .00] −.05 [−.02, .01] .05 [−.01, .03] −.07 [−.03, .01] .04 [−.01, .02] −.04 [−.03, .01]
Openness .04 [−.01, .02] −.05 [−.01, .00] −.03 [−.01, .01] .04 [−.01, .02] .01 [−.01, .01] −.03 [−.01, .01] .02 [−.01, .02]
⁎ p b .01.
⁎⁎ p b .001.
Men rated sexual access higher on importance than women did , partner's perceived value (e.g., their physical attractiveness or resource
which is consistent with other research showing that men are more earning potential). Indeed, perceptions of an ex-partner's mate value
likely than women to form CSFs due to sexual attraction may influence the relative importance of each reason for staying friends,
(Bleske-Rechek & Buss, 2001; Lewis et al., 2011). Men were also more such that ex-partners with higher mate value in a particular domain
likely than women to rate pragmatism as important, though this finding (e.g., kindness vs. physical attractiveness) may be valuable for different
was only marginally significant after controlling for personality predic- reasons (e.g., reliability/sentimentality vs. sexual access). Future studies
tors of pragmatism. It is unclear why this is the case. Some research has should also include other measures of dark personality, such as the
found that male friendships are less reciprocal than relationships with MACH-IV (Christie & Geis, 1970), the Narcissistic Personality Inventory
women, particularly with regard to affective dimensions of friendship (Raskin & Hall, 1979), and the Self-Report Psychopathy scale (Hare,
(e.g., self-disclosure, trust, authenticity; Parker & de Vries, 1993). It is 1985).
possible that men are more likely to value friendships for their practical,
as opposed to socioemotional, benefits. However, this interpretation re- 4.3. Conclusion
quires further research. Previous research has also found that men tend
to have darker personalities than women (Paulhus & Williams, 2002), Although a break-up nominally marks the end of a romantic rela-
which may explain why controlling for antagonism and honesty–hu- tionship, the current research suggests that resource exchange between
mility weakened this sex difference. ex-partners can extend beyond relationship dissolution. Across two
Although past research has found that women judge physical pro- studies, we identified reasons for remaining friends after a break-up
tection and physical prowess as more important for initiating a CSF and outlined how the importance of these reasons varies with sex and
than men (Bleske-Rechek & Buss, 2001; Lewis et al., 2011), we did not personality. This research builds upon literature examining CSFs and
find sex differences related to physical protection. In fact, none of the suggests that PRFs are functionally similar insofar as they permit contin-
identified categories included reasons related to physical protection or ued exchange of desirable resources.
an ex-partner's physical prowess. Our two samples largely consisted Supplementary data to this article can be found online at http://dx.
of university participants, which is a demographic for which concerns doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016.
about physical protection may not be especially salient. Women may
also be less likely to seek physical protection from an ex-partner com-
Author note
pared to other platonic male friends, particularly if protectiveness sig-
nals that their romantic relationship has not dissolved or if it
In support of the open science and transparency initiative, this
dissuades other potential suitors. Likewise, we did not find that
study's complete dataset may be downloaded from the first author's
women prioritize economic resources in a cross-sex friend more than
ResearchGate account.
men (Lewis et al., 2011). Both men and women rated children and
shared resources as equally important. However, it is possible that this
is due to differences between initiating a CSF and continuing to be References
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Please cite this article as: Mogilski, J.K., & Welling, L.L.M., Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-
relationship friendship, Personality and Individual Differences (2016), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016
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Please cite this article as: Mogilski, J.K., & Welling, L.L.M., Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-
relationship friendship, Personality and Individual Differences (2016), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016
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