What is coaching?

To succeed as a manager, you need to continually develop your employees. Coaching is one of
the most powerful ways to help people learn and grow.

You’ve probably had a coach before—maybe someone who trained you in sports or guided you
on achieving a goal. But in the workplace, coaching has a particular function. It’s an ongoing
process where you, the manager, help your employees reflect on and improve their performance.

When you coach in the workplace, you’re not telling employees what to do or solving their
problems. You’re helping them think through complex situations and choose actions that lead to
positive business results.
Today, coaching is a business imperative. In a complex work environment, you can’t direct
every decision. You need team members who can think, analyze, learn, and make smart choices
independently. Through coaching, you help them build these skills.
POLL

Are you currently coaching any employees?

 Yes
 No
 Not applicable
Coaching is for everyone
It’s a misconception that coaching is only for employees with performance problems. In reality,
coaching is one of the most effective ways to help all employees improve.
Today, many employees expect coaching. This is particularly true of millennials—employees
born between 1980 and 2000. They expect to talk about their performance, goals, and progress
frequently, not just during formal reviews. But workers of all generations are now having longer,
more fluid careers, where ongoing development is a necessity.
Mentor Moment “Employees Expect Coaching”
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Judy Shen-Filerman - Principal and Founder, Dreambridge Partners
Embrace coaching as your team’s “new normal.”
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Coaching’s foundation
As manager, it’s probably second nature for you to tell your employees what to do. But over
time, if all you do is give orders and fix problems, you’ll limit your employees’ growth and keep
them overly dependent on you for guidance.

You may also risk alienating talented employees who are ready for greater responsibility and
independence.

Successful coaching is built on:

 Communication: Asking your employees thoughtful, open-ended questions and listening to

their ideas
 Reflection: Helping your employees analyze past decisions, identify their strengths and
weaknesses, and recognize patterns of thought
 Accountability: Emphasizing continuous improvement and building your employees’ self-
sufficiency
What a coaching relationship is not: *
 Instant problem solving

 Giving advice
Coaching vs. Mentoring

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A more agile organization
Coaching benefits more than just individual employees. It builds your effectiveness as a leader
and makes your entire organization more agile.
 Coaching helps you:

 Get to know your team. Through ongoing dialogue, you’ll gather insights employees have
that can benefit the organization and understand their strengths and aspirations.
 Grow capacity. When you coach employees to be self-sufficient, you can delegate more tasks
to them. This frees up your time for strategic work and new business.
 Manage change.Coaching helps your team members develop the insight, self-awareness, and
learning agility required in competitive environments.
 Develop relationships. Coaching demonstrates your commitment to your employees, which
helps build trust, resilience, and engagement.
 Prepare your group for succession. Through coaching, you’ll prepare capable employees to
fill your role as you advance in your career.
 Develop your reputation as leader. When you are seen as someone who helps others grow
and succeed, you’ll attract talent, build a strong network, and develop influence.
Coach on a Daily Basis
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Lauren Mackler—Executive Coach, Consultant Author
Don’t approach coaching as an extra task—look for ways to fit it into your regular routine.
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Identify strengths *
As you prepare to coach, consider how you can help your employees build on what:

 Drives and interests them

 Comes naturally
 Will be most applicable to their career aspirations
People are most motivated and engaged when they’re making progress at something that’s
meaningful to them. It’s also likely that employees’ career growth will come from their
strengths, making it a wise investment of your coaching time.

Eventually, you’ll also support them in filling gaps in their skills. But coaching on people’s
strengths is a smart place to start as you work to develop the trust and rapport necessary to be an
effective coach.
Trust: A quick guide
Introduce coaching
If you’re not in the habit of coaching your employees, introduce them to what coaching is and
why it’s important.

Explain that coaching is an ongoing process during which you’ll work together to reflect on and
learn from workplace situations. Explicitly state that coaching is not a sign you’re dissatisfied
with their performance.
Emphasize that regular coaching allows you both to:

 Address new priorities, opportunities, or challenges

 Learn from experience
 Build on success
 Share insights
 Discuss goals, growth, and challenges
Let your employees know that you’ll be initiating coaching conversations—and they should, too.
They should also feel free to seek coaching from others within your organization.

Look for “coachable moments”

As a manager, you’ll see employees struggle with challenges, weigh decisions, and strive to hit
goals. In these occasions, you can find many “coachable moments”—times when your employee
would benefit from reflection, insight, and feedback.

To identify coachable moments, ask yourself, “Are there multiple ‘right ways’ here? Would
there be value in taking time to help this person discover a solution for themselves?"

If the answer is yes, then it’s likely a good occasion to try coaching.

Coach when your employee:

 Tries something new

 Weighs options before making a decision

 Disagrees with a coworker or client
 Asks for your input: “What should I do about …?”
 Navigates a challenge
 Takes on a stretch assignment
EXAMPLE

Argo is working on his first solo video project, and he’s struggling to hire the right talent. He asks his
manager, Sandra, to help him choose between two actors. Sandra decides that this is a coachable moment.
Rather than telling him who to hire, she asks him, “What are some of the factors you’re weighing here?”

Sometimes coaching isn’t appropriate; your employee needs to be told exactly what to do.
Direct when your employee:
 Needs specific instruction on a skill or technical process
 Faces a crisis and must act quickly
 Must change behavior or course immediately
EXAMPLE

The next day, Argo stops in again with a question about writing a specific clause in an actor’s contract. Sandra
realizes that Argo needs to be told exactly what to do, not coached.

As you decide whether to coach or direct, be aware of your tendencies. You may naturally lean
toward coaching, or you may be accustomed to telling others what to do.

If you’re in the latter category, then you’re like many managers. Coaching may at first feel
strange to you. But stick with it. The more regularly you coach, the easier and more productive
it’ll become.
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Check for readiness *
Imagine you’ve spotted a “coachable moment” and want to make the most of it. Before you start
a conversation, do a quick mental assessment.

Ask yourself:

 Is my employee likely to be receptive now?

 Am I ready?
If your employee is distracted or defensive—or simply needs time to clear their head—it’s likely
your conversation won’t produce the results you’re hoping for.

If you’re not sure, check for readiness. Ask: “Is now an okay time to go over [the event]?” If it’s
not, reserve your observations for another time

Similarly, you need to be ready. It takes effort to coach well. Before you start a coaching
conversation, ask yourself:
 Am I feeling distracted or impatient?
 Can I let go of other concerns while I’m coaching?
 Am I ready to be inclusive, empathetic, and attentive to my employee?
 Do I have time to help?
 Can I keep an open mind here?
If the answers to those questions are “No,” then don’t attempt to coach at this time.
Conduct a coaching conversation
In a coaching conversation, your goal is to open a dialogue and, in a nonjudgmental way, help
your employee reflect on their actions and options. In general, you should do at least twice as
much listening than talking.
Conduct coaching conversations with curiosity and an open mind. Leading questions will feel
like a setup and prevent the other person from engaging fully.

Steps in a coaching conversation

1. Open dialogue

“Is now a good time to talk?”

2. Encourage reflection

“What went well?”, “What didn’t go as expected?”

3. Listen

“Sounds like …”, “I’m hearing …”

4. Explore further

“What do you think will emerge as most critical?”

5. Give input

“I’d like to share … feedback/my observations/business context.”

6. Check in

“What’s your reaction to this?”

 7. Close

“What will you do next?”

L

Steps in a Coaching Conversation

Encourage reflection
Reflection is a powerful tool for developing insight. A form of analysis, it helps an employee
move beyond initial reactions to deeper insight about events.
Reflection paves the way for learning because it allows the person to see patterns and grasp the
implications of choices.
Here are some questions you can use to prompt reflection:
 What went well?
 What didn’t go as you expected?
 How do you feel about what happened?
 What could you have done differently?
 How did you decide?
 Who will be affected?
 What else do you need to know?
 What might happen next?
 What did you learn?
 What is your ideal outcome?
Helene Spots a “Coachable Moment”
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Helene notices an employee, Ines, struggling to delegate effectively to her employee, Barney.
Share your thoughts
Your observations and feedback have a valuable place in the coaching conversation, but they
shouldn’t dominate.
When you share your thoughts, make sure to:
 Establish that your employee is receptive.
 Present your ideas and feedback in neutral terms.
 State your opinions as interpretations of what you observed.
 Emphasize that this is your perspective and not necessarily the “whole story.”
 Stick to what is relevant for your employee in this coaching session.
 Check in with your employee. Ask, “Is what I’ve shared useful for you?”
Helene Shares Her Thoughts
 ABOUT

 BIO
 TRANSCRIPT
Helene tells Ines what she’s observed about Ines’s delegation skills.
STAT
90%. That’s how much of the talking an employee should do in a coaching conversation. *
Agree on next steps
Close the coaching conversation by establishing specific next steps.

Resist the urge to tell an employee what you think should happen. Your employee should use
insights gained in the conversation to make the decision and take ownership of what needs to be
done.
Establish:

 What your employee will do next

 Whether your employee needs any resources from you
 If makes sense to schedule a coaching session to follow up together
Helene and Ines Plan Next Steps
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Helene listens and asks questions as Ines develops an action plan.
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Establish Formal Coaching *
There are times when you’ll need more than just coachable moments to help an employee
progress. That’s when you’ll adopt a more systematic, formal approach to coaching.

Formal coaching is particularly effective when:

The skill is complex.Your employee wants to develop a management skill, such as delegating,
handling conflict, or negotiating.
 The project is ongoing. For instance, your employee has taken on a stretch assignment or new
role, where it’s useful to reflect on and review progress over time.
 Logistics are difficult. For instance, you and the other person work in different locations or
have such different availability that scheduled meetings make sense.
Formal coaching doesn’t preclude coaching in the moment. A combination of both is often ideal.
Create a coaching action plan
For formal coaching to work, both parties need to consciously “opt in” to the process. It’s useful
to set up a written agreement.

Schedule an initial meeting to establish:

 An agreed-upon goal. What is the employee trying to accomplish through coaching? For
example, “Hire my first employee.” If useful, agree on intermediary steps necessary to
achieving the larger objective: “Develop an effective job description”; “Reach a diverse
audience of potential candidates”; etc.
 A schedule. How often will you meet, and for how long? Does it make sense to meet on a
regular schedule (like once per week or month) or set dates based on task milestones? (For
example, before a job description is posted, after the candidate interview phase, during offer
negotiations, etc.)
 Roles and responsibilities. What resources will you provide? What do you expect your
employee to do? How will each of you prepare before a coaching meeting and follow up
afterward?
T O OL

Worksheet for Creating a Coaching Action Plan

Download Tool
Collect observations
When you’re coaching an employee on a formal, ongoing basis, routinely gather data and
observations to share.

Notice what your employee does well—it’s important to reinforce effective behavior,
particularly when an employee is trying something for the first time. Track any gaps you see. Jot
down questions you could ask to help your employee reflect on their actions. When relevant,
consult with other colleagues to get additional reference points.
Host a coaching meeting
When you host a scheduled coaching meeting, be ready to:

 Review work done over time. In formal coaching, you want to focus on the bigger picture
and make connections across multiple events.
 Guide the conversation. Use questioning, listening, and input to help your employee come to
useful conclusions and plan next steps.
 Establish accountability. Forge agreements about what your employee will do next, what
you’ll do next, an ideal result, and a timeframe.
 Take notes afterward. You won’t remember everything that’s said, so consider using a
template to capture this information after the meeting. These notes can help you track progress
and build accountability.
T O OL

Worksheet for Coaching Meeting Notes

Download Tool
Stay goal-focused *
As the coaching process evolves, your employee will undoubtedly have new insights. It’s almost
inevitable that they will refine, expand, or change their goals.
Whatever the objective, make sure your employee retains ownership of what needs to be done
and how it will be accomplished. People are more likely to achieve goals they set themselves.
To help your employee stay goal-focused, ask broad questions like:
 What would an ideal outcome be for you?
 What would need to happen to reach this outcome?
 What might your next step be?
 Can you anticipate any barriers to achieving your goal? If so, how could you remove them?
 What resources or direction do you need from me?
Seek feedback
Formal coaching is a substantial investment of time. Periodically ask your employee for
feedback:
 What has worked well so far?
 How could the coaching process be improved?
These kinds of check-ins will help you tailor your approach and make sure the process continues
to deliver value.

Why listening and inquiry matter

Successful coaching depends on:

 Engaged listening
 Open-ended inquiry
These help you to:

 Keep the focus on the employee

 Build rapport and trust
 Avoid giving too much direction or advice
You may assume you already know how to listen and ask questions. But research shows that
many managers tend not to pause and listen, or seek out others’ ideas. *
T O OL

Positive Habits for Engaged Listening

 How to listen *
Too often, busy managers will nod and say, “Yes, I’m listening.” But in reality, their thoughts
are wandering to the next task or rehearsing their next statement. They may have prejudged what
the employee is going to say and thus miss the real message entirely.

Engaged listening is different. It involves using curiosity and empathy to understand what
someone else is really saying. Engaged listening requires your full attention. Managers who
practice engaged listening keep an open mind throughout the entire conversation.
Here are positive behaviors that engaged listeners adopt—and the benefits they reap:

 Listening behavior

Benefit(s)

Helps prevent

 Make eye contact

Shows you’re focused and not distracted

Your employee feeling you aren’t interested

 Nod—and limit automatic verbal sounds like uh-huh, uh-huh

 Attentive body language demonstrates you’re engaged in what the other person is saying. Being quiet gives
the person time to fully complete his or her thought.

Your employee feeling hurried along

 Checking for clarification—“What I’ve heard is…” or “Have I understood correctly?”

Helps you get clear on facts and details. Demonstrates you’re following what’s been said.

You giving misguided input based on incomplete understanding

 Silence

Gives the speaker a moment to reflect. Giving this conversational “space” allows an employee to suggest his or
her own solution.

You missing important nuances because you’ve jumped in to solve, advise, or direct

How to Be a Good Listener

 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Peter Bregman — CEO, Bregman Partners, and Author, “18 Minutes”.
When someone comes to you with a problem, resist the urge to solve it
Pay attention to nonverbal communication *
You can “listen” even when something isn’t being said. People communicate valuable
information through body language. A savvy coach listens to words and tracks body language.
To get a good “read” on your employee, ask yourself these questions:
 Is the person’s body language “closed” or “open?” A person with “closed” posture may
cross their arms or legs, hunch their shoulders, or turn their back toward you. In contrast,
someone who is “open” often sits at ease—hands visible, shoulders relaxed.
 Is the person engaged? People who are interested in a dialogue tend to find ways to move
closer to one another. Someone who slouches, leans away, or fails to make eye contact could
be distracted or disagree with you.
 Is our body language allied or opposed? People who are allied in common purpose tend to
adopt the same body position. Compare your employee’s body language with your own. Does
their body language suggest agreement or opposition?
 Does culture play a role? Employees from different cultures may have different ways of
expressing or containing emotion.
 Taken together, these signals can help you gauge someone’s level of receptivity or discomfort.
But remember that body language can be deceptive. A person with crossed arms may be nervous,
defensive, excited—or simply cold.
When you can’t listen
POLL

How often do you practice engaged listening?

 Frequently
 Often
 Sometimes
 Rarely
 Never
Skillful inquiry
Engaged listening has a complementary practice: skillful inquiry. Remember, coaching is
a dialogue. When you’re listening, the goal is to let the other person talk and not interrupt. But
questions are an important way to spark additional thinking.
When you inquire, you aren’t trying to steer your employee to a particular conclusion or subtly
make a point. You’re posing questions to help them reflect more deeply. Skillful inquiry can
surface the core of an issue, stimulate new ideas, and help your employee better understand their
emotions.

When you inquire:

 Be open to possibilities—don’t unconsciously encourage a certain answer.

 Ask neutral questions without hinting at your perspective. For instance, ask “What are some
options for next steps?” rather than “What do you think about taking a training class?”
 Pause to give your employee time to consider the question and respond. Silence is useful.
Don’t immediately jump in with a comment or another question.
Good Coaching Inspires Leadership
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Bryan E. Simmons— Vice President of Global Communications, The Arcus Foundation
Allow your employees to think things through and own their conclusions.
Three Types of Questions *
Skilled inquiry uses three types of questions. Experts recommend this ratio:

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Open-ended questions
Inquiry is built on open-ended questions—questions that don’t have “yes” or “no” answers.
These queries prompt thoughtful analysis.

Useful open-ended questions include:

 How do you want to proceed?

 What strikes you as important here?
 What else?
 Because?
 Then what?
The Power of Open-Ended Questions
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Mason Weintraub — Director of Digital Engagement, Oxfam America
Can a question resolve an issue faster than a “solution”?
Closed-ended questions
Closed-ended questions generally elicit a yes/no answer or a statement of fact. They are useful
for confirming information or getting a status update. In general, they do not yield new insights.
For example, you may ask someone, “Were you able to meet with Tovar?” If the response was
“Yes,” then you can proceed to an open-ended question: “How did it go?”
“Why” questions
Questions in the third category start with “Why ...?” Use these sparingly, because they can make
employees feel you disagree with or disapprove of their choices.

For instance, if you start a coaching dialogue by asking, “Why did you take over Jim’s research
project?” your employee might feel criticized and consequently become defensive or shut down.
Too many “why” questions can erode trust and reduce your effectiveness as a coach.

Fortunately, you may not need to ask “Why?” to spur reflection. Consider reframing “why”
questions into open-ended questions that yield more information or insights:

 Instead of…

Reframe like this…

 “Why did you do that?”
“What factors did you use to make your decision?”
 “Why can’t you do this?
“What stands in your way right now?”
 “Why did she get upset with you?”
“What do you think influenced her?”
T O OL

Three Types of Questions

Manage complaining
A coaching conversation is not a therapy session. If your employee starts to complain
repetitively about something or someone, use these steps to move past the block.

1. Name your employee’s feelings.“You’re frustrated by accounting’s delay.”

2. Help them think about possible solutions. Ask “What’s a possible way around this?” “How
might you tackle this issue?” or “How could you reprioritize?”
3. Decide on a next step. What could they try instead in this situation? Sometimes it’s helpful to
use “If/Then” planning to develop contingencies. For example, “If I ask accounting for data a
week in advance, but still get it at the last minute, then I will only focus on the three most
critical metrics in my report." Encourage your employee to stay calm, experiment with
different approaches, and see which solutions work best.
EXAMPLE

Fiona is coaching Liv on managing her time. Liv complains repetitively about last-minute requests from
coworkers, which she says derail her from making deadlines. First, Fiona acknowledges the feelings: “It’s
frustrating when you are already under pressure and get an unexpected task.” Then she encourages Liv to think
about possible ways around this: “What could you do so you don’t get caught in this trap in future?” Liv
reflects, and comes up with a few ideas. Together, they decide on a plan Liv will try.
When coaching’s not connecting *
Coaching is a powerful tool. But despite your best efforts, it may not always work as you hope.
 First, check your mindset about the employee and the process:

 Am I assuming change is possible? Have you unconsciously decided this person may not be
able to make change? Is that presumption hindering the process?
 Can I take a different view? If you find yourself judging the person you need to coach
(“She’s lazy.” “He’s a complainer.”), it’s difficult to be attentive and curious. How can you
reframe the way you see this employee so that you can move forward? Look for instances
when your direct report does the opposite of what you expect. Talk with others who work
successfully with this employee to broaden your picture of this person.
 Do I manage my own emotions? Before you meet with this employee, recognize what might
be causing you concern or stress. Try to release those worries as much as possible so they
don’t color the coaching interaction.
If you are comfortable with your answers, then revisit the purpose of coaching with your
employee. Check that they’re still interested in being coached and committed to the process.
Work Through Difficulties
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Alison Beard - Editor, Harvard Business Review
When you’ve hit a coaching impasse, take these three steps.
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When to stop coaching *

Sometimes the problem is outside your control, and your employee truly cannot be coached at
this moment.
Potential obstacles to a successful coaching include:
 High stress in your employee’s life. An employee who is struggling with either work or
personal issues may not be able to focus on performance development. It’s best to stop trying
and consider revisiting later.
 A persistent lack of connection. If you and your employee have tried but failed to develop
one-on-one rapport, see if another manager or more experienced peer can bridge this gap and
coach your employee. If the new coach is more successful that you were, debrief with them so
you can learn what you can do differently.
 Lack of belief in the process. Perhaps this person agreed to coaching, but in reality does not
want to change or doesn’t believe change is possible. Ultimately, you can’t make someone
change.
The value of feedback
In a coaching relationship, listening and inquiry are your most powerful tools. But there will be
times when it’s useful and appropriate to give feedback and other kinds of input.

To many people, feedback connotes judgment or criticism, but it’s neither. It is simply the
sharing of observations about job performance. Given regularly, feedback shapes people’s
behavior and allows for growth.
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Why feedback can be difficult

Many managers and employees find feedback difficult. Managers hesitate to give it because
they:
 Fear they’ll hurt the other person’s feelings
 Worry that the other person won’t like them
 Are anxious the receiver will become upset or hostile
 Believe the receiver won’t change
Employees may have their own concerns about feedback. For instance, they may believe
feedback is:
 An attack on their character
 Inaccurate or biased
 Too vague to be helpful
It’s helpful to be aware of the fears and misconceptions both parties have about feedback. When
you’re aware of the barriers, you have a better chance of surmounting them.
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Provide feedback
Effective feedback is specific, behavior-focused, and timely.
Make sure you:
 Know the facts. What happened (who, what, where, and when) and what outcomes (positive
and negative) you want to address.
 Focus on your employee’s goals. Your feedback should help your employee reach specific
goals. Refrain from giving feedback on an unrelated issue.
  Highlight behaviors, not personal traits. Be explicit about what the person has or has not
done without judging their character or intent. Avoid statements that begin, “You always...” or
“You never....”
EXAMPLE

Khulus is coaching his employee, Sarif, on how to develop a budget. At a recent planning meeting, Sarif
presented an incomplete spreadsheet, which meant the team couldn’t make necessary decisions.

Ineffective feedback: “You’re not delivering the data correctly to the team. In future, you need to make more of
an effort to be careful.”
This feedback is judgmental and overgeneralizing. It makes it sound like Sarif has never presented correct
data—and implies that she was deliberately careless.

Effective feedback: “Last week in the budget meeting, I noticed you were missing some data about past
expenditures. Your team was not able to prioritize how it should allocate funds because they didn’t have that
information. What prevented you from providing that data?”
This feedback is specific, behavior-focused, and on target for Sarif’s coaching goal of developing a budget. It
also includes an inquiry at the end, which encourages Sarif to speak again. From there, Khulus may learn any
number of useful things that will inform possible next steps.
The power of positive feedback *
POLL

How much feedback do you tend to give during a coaching session?

 A substantial amount
 A moderate amount
 A small amount
 None
Craft your feedback
When you’re ready to deliver feedback, give it:
  In a timely manner. Try to give coaching feedback as close to the event as possible. In
general, focus on what’s immediately relevant, rather than revisiting things that happened in
the far past. However, if you’re coaching during formal sessions, you may be delivering
feedback on progress you’ve observed over time.
 After you’ve listened and asked questions. An employee will generally be more receptive to
your insights once they’ve aired their own thoughts. Also, your comments will be more
relevant after you’ve listened.
 With permission. Make sure you employee is receptive and ready to listen. Say “I have some
thoughts. Would you like to hear them?” or “Are you interested in feedback?”
 In small doses. Too much feedback can be overwhelming. Give your feedback and then check
in: “What’s your reaction to this?” or “Do you have any questions for me?”
When you give feedback as part of coaching, aim to:

 Observe relevant actions. Plan to observe or collect data about the kinds of actions that
you’re coaching on. For instance, if your team member wants coaching on how to negotiate,
see if you can listen in on a call, attend a meeting, or review emails related to their efforts at
deal making.
 Praise specifically and often. Don’t just focus on improvements your employee needs to
make. Be sure to emphasize what they’re doing well too.
 Acknowledge the impact. Explain how gains they’ve made have helped the business as a
whole.
Coaching in the Moment
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Takiyah Gross Foote — Vice President, Learning and Development
Give plenty of feedback to employees mastering new skills.
Gender and feedback *
T O OL

Tips for Giving Coaching Feedback

T O OL

Worksheet for Giving Feedback

Read More

Share information
In a coaching relationship, feedback isn’t the only type of input you’ll give. You’ll also share:

 Observations
 Business information
 Advice, perspective, or encouragement
 Relevant personal experiences
Done well, such sharing strengthens rapport and helps an employee gain insight.

When you give input, share it after you’ve listened and used inquiry. Be relevant and concise.
EXAMPLE

Helene has been coaching Ines about how to delegate effectively to Barney. At the end of one session, Ines
reflects, “It feels good to have things be a little smoother, but it’s taking a lot of time. Sometimes I wonder if
it’s worth the effort.”

At this point, Helene wants to give input. Any of these choices would work:
  Observation: “I’ve noticed that Barney is producing more, so I think you’re on the cusp of
gaining some real efficiency from your time investments.”
 Business information: “This fall, we’ll be starting a high-profile new project, one where you
can play a big role. You’ll be glad you invested the time to help Barney become more
productive on some of the daily tasks.”
 Advice: “It’s a lot of work to manage others, but I think it’s valuable for your career. When
leadership gets together to look at promotions, one of the criteria we always consider is an
ability to motivate and manage others.”
Give coaching homework *
Sometimes it’s helpful to give your employee “homework” after a coaching conversation. The
right assignment can help further learning and provide a starting point for your next coaching
conversation.

Coaching homework should be:

 Mutually designed and agreed-upon

 Tied to the specific coaching goal
 Purposeful and engaging, not simply an “extra task”
Give coaching homework
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Judy Shen-Filerman - Principal and Founder, Dreambridge Partners
Help your employee close the gap between today’s capabilities and tomorrow’s goals.

Why listening and inquiry matter

Successful coaching depends on:

 Engaged listening
 Open-ended inquiry
These help you to:

 Keep the focus on the employee

 Build rapport and trust
 Avoid giving too much direction or advice
You may assume you already know how to listen and ask questions. But research shows that
many managers tend not to pause and listen, or seek out others’ ideas. *
T O OL
 Positive Habits for Engaged Listening

How to listen *
Too often, busy managers will nod and say, “Yes, I’m listening.” But in reality, their thoughts
are wandering to the next task or rehearsing their next statement. They may have prejudged what
the employee is going to say and thus miss the real message entirely.

Engaged listening is different. It involves using curiosity and empathy to understand what
someone else is really saying. Engaged listening requires your full attention. Managers who
practice engaged listening keep an open mind throughout the entire conversation.
Here are positive behaviors that engaged listeners adopt—and the benefits they reap:

 Listening behavior

Benefit(s)

Helps prevent

 Make eye contact

Shows you’re focused and not distracted

Your employee feeling you aren’t interested

 Nod—and limit automatic verbal sounds like uh-huh, uh-huh

 Attentive body language demonstrates you’re engaged in what the other person is saying. Being quiet gives
the person time to fully complete his or her thought.

Your employee feeling hurried along

 Checking for clarification—“What I’ve heard is…” or “Have I understood correctly?”

Helps you get clear on facts and details. Demonstrates you’re following what’s been said.

You giving misguided input based on incomplete understanding

 Silence

Gives the speaker a moment to reflect. Giving this conversational “space” allows an employee to suggest his or
her own solution.

You missing important nuances because you’ve jumped in to solve, advise, or direct

How to Be a Good Listener

 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Peter Bregman — CEO, Bregman Partners, and Author, “18 Minutes”.
When someone comes to you with a problem, resist the urge to solve it
Pay attention to nonverbal communication *
You can “listen” even when something isn’t being said. People communicate valuable
information through body language. A savvy coach listens to words and tracks body language.
To get a good “read” on your employee, ask yourself these questions:
 Is the person’s body language “closed” or “open?” A person with “closed” posture may
cross their arms or legs, hunch their shoulders, or turn their back toward you. In contrast,
someone who is “open” often sits at ease—hands visible, shoulders relaxed.
 Is the person engaged? People who are interested in a dialogue tend to find ways to move
closer to one another. Someone who slouches, leans away, or fails to make eye contact could
be distracted or disagree with you.
 Is our body language allied or opposed? People who are allied in common purpose tend to
adopt the same body position. Compare your employee’s body language with your own. Does
their body language suggest agreement or opposition?
 Does culture play a role? Employees from different cultures may have different ways of
expressing or containing emotion.
 Taken together, these signals can help you gauge someone’s level of receptivity or discomfort.
But remember that body language can be deceptive. A person with crossed arms may be nervous,
defensive, excited—or simply cold.
When you can’t listen
POLL

How often do you practice engaged listening?

 Frequently
 Often
 Sometimes
 Rarely
 Never
Skillful inquiry
Engaged listening has a complementary practice: skillful inquiry. Remember, coaching is
a dialogue. When you’re listening, the goal is to let the other person talk and not interrupt. But
questions are an important way to spark additional thinking.
When you inquire, you aren’t trying to steer your employee to a particular conclusion or subtly
make a point. You’re posing questions to help them reflect more deeply. Skillful inquiry can
surface the core of an issue, stimulate new ideas, and help your employee better understand their
emotions.

When you inquire:

 Be open to possibilities—don’t unconsciously encourage a certain answer.

 Ask neutral questions without hinting at your perspective. For instance, ask “What are some
options for next steps?” rather than “What do you think about taking a training class?”
 Pause to give your employee time to consider the question and respond. Silence is useful.
Don’t immediately jump in with a comment or another question.
Good Coaching Inspires Leadership
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Bryan E. Simmons— Vice President of Global Communications, The Arcus Foundation
Allow your employees to think things through and own their conclusions.
Three Types of Questions *
Skilled inquiry uses three types of questions. Experts recommend this ratio:

E D I T O R ' S C H O IC E
 70 Awesome Coaching Questions for Managers Using the GROW Model

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Open-ended questions
Inquiry is built on open-ended questions—questions that don’t have “yes” or “no” answers.
These queries prompt thoughtful analysis.

Useful open-ended questions include:

 How do you want to proceed?

 What strikes you as important here?
 What else?
 Because?
 Then what?
The Power of Open-Ended Questions
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Mason Weintraub — Director of Digital Engagement, Oxfam America
Can a question resolve an issue faster than a “solution”?
Closed-ended questions
Closed-ended questions generally elicit a yes/no answer or a statement of fact. They are useful
for confirming information or getting a status update. In general, they do not yield new insights.
For example, you may ask someone, “Were you able to meet with Tovar?” If the response was
“Yes,” then you can proceed to an open-ended question: “How did it go?”
“Why” questions
Questions in the third category start with “Why ...?” Use these sparingly, because they can make
employees feel you disagree with or disapprove of their choices.

For instance, if you start a coaching dialogue by asking, “Why did you take over Jim’s research
project?” your employee might feel criticized and consequently become defensive or shut down.
Too many “why” questions can erode trust and reduce your effectiveness as a coach.

Fortunately, you may not need to ask “Why?” to spur reflection. Consider reframing “why”
questions into open-ended questions that yield more information or insights:

 Instead of…

Reframe like this…

 “Why did you do that?”
“What factors did you use to make your decision?”
 “Why can’t you do this?
“What stands in your way right now?”
 “Why did she get upset with you?”
“What do you think influenced her?”
T O OL

Three Types of Questions

Manage complaining
A coaching conversation is not a therapy session. If your employee starts to complain
repetitively about something or someone, use these steps to move past the block.

1. Name your employee’s feelings.“You’re frustrated by accounting’s delay.”

2. Help them think about possible solutions. Ask “What’s a possible way around this?” “How
might you tackle this issue?” or “How could you reprioritize?”
3. Decide on a next step. What could they try instead in this situation? Sometimes it’s helpful to
use “If/Then” planning to develop contingencies. For example, “If I ask accounting for data a
week in advance, but still get it at the last minute, then I will only focus on the three most
critical metrics in my report." Encourage your employee to stay calm, experiment with
different approaches, and see which solutions work best.
EXAMPLE

Fiona is coaching Liv on managing her time. Liv complains repetitively about last-minute requests from
coworkers, which she says derail her from making deadlines. First, Fiona acknowledges the feelings: “It’s
frustrating when you are already under pressure and get an unexpected task.” Then she encourages Liv to think
about possible ways around this: “What could you do so you don’t get caught in this trap in future?” Liv
reflects, and comes up with a few ideas. Together, they decide on a plan Liv will try.
When coaching’s not connecting *
Coaching is a powerful tool. But despite your best efforts, it may not always work as you hope.
 First, check your mindset about the employee and the process:

 Am I assuming change is possible? Have you unconsciously decided this person may not be
able to make change? Is that presumption hindering the process?
 Can I take a different view? If you find yourself judging the person you need to coach
(“She’s lazy.” “He’s a complainer.”), it’s difficult to be attentive and curious. How can you
reframe the way you see this employee so that you can move forward? Look for instances
when your direct report does the opposite of what you expect. Talk with others who work
successfully with this employee to broaden your picture of this person.
 Do I manage my own emotions? Before you meet with this employee, recognize what might
be causing you concern or stress. Try to release those worries as much as possible so they
don’t color the coaching interaction.
If you are comfortable with your answers, then revisit the purpose of coaching with your
employee. Check that they’re still interested in being coached and committed to the process.
Work Through Difficulties
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Alison Beard - Editor, Harvard Business Review
When you’ve hit a coaching impasse, take these three steps.
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When to stop coaching *

Sometimes the problem is outside your control, and your employee truly cannot be coached at
this moment.
Potential obstacles to a successful coaching include:
 High stress in your employee’s life. An employee who is struggling with either work or
personal issues may not be able to focus on performance development. It’s best to stop trying
and consider revisiting later.
 A persistent lack of connection. If you and your employee have tried but failed to develop
one-on-one rapport, see if another manager or more experienced peer can bridge this gap and
coach your employee. If the new coach is more successful that you were, debrief with them so
you can learn what you can do differently.
 Lack of belief in the process. Perhaps this person agreed to coaching, but in reality does not
want to change or doesn’t believe change is possible. Ultimately, you can’t make someone
change.
 Promote Learning Agility
Discover what learning agility is, why it’s valuable for businesses today, and how to coach for it.

What is learning agility? *

When you coach someone, you’ll often focus on something specific—developing a skill, filling a
gap, or achieving a goal. But great coaches do something else too: They help people
develop learning agility.
Learning agility is the ability to:

 Analyze and understand complex situations

 Spot patterns that could impact the business
 Quickly assimilate new information
 Think flexibly, let go of old models, and embrace new ones
 Acknowledge mistakes and learn from them
 Take smart risks
Learning agility is one of the most important traits for people in organizations today. It helps
people thrive, especially when the business environment is volatile, uncertain, complex, and
ambiguous.

Learning agility isn’t about being the “smartest person in the room” or doing everything right.
Instead, it’s about openness to new information, people, and experiences. It’s being willing to
explore complex situations, act on critical information, and take on new challenges.

When you coach team members for learning agility, you help them navigate change and
capitalize on new opportunities.
EXAMPLE

At an industry conference, product managers Val and Nia both hear an expert speak about a new technology in
the field. Nia disregards the information because it sounds similar to something the company tried
unsuccessfully a few years ago.

But Val is curious. She asks Nia about what didn’t work last time, figures out what critical questions need to
be asked, and then goes to the speaker to find out what else she can discover.
A Learner’s Mindset
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Nina Bowman - Executive Coach, Managing Partner, Paravis Partners
Discover how to thrive amid organizational change.
E D I T O R ' S C H O IC E
Podcast: How to Become More Self-Aware

Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist and executive coach, talks about how to develop self-awareness.

LISTEN NOW

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A growth mindset
A growth mindset is a belief that, with practice and effort, you can grow your abilities. It is a
prerequisite for learning agility.
The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset. People who have a fixed mindset believe
that their skills and intelligence are predetermined and can’t be developed through practice.
Compare these patterns of thinking:

 Fixed mindset: “Talent and intelligence are determined by genetics. I was born with
everything I have to work with.”
 Growth mindset: “I can improve my abilities through hard work and self-awareness. I can
learn from setbacks and challenges.”
As a coach, your goal is to help someone recognize when they’re stuck in a fixed mindset and
move them to a growth orientation.
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Listen for clues
To help an employee recognize when a fixed mindset might be keeping them from learning and
adapting, listen for clues in coaching conversations.

People with a fixed mindset make broad statements, blame factors outside their control, and
engage in negative self-talk, such as:

 “I wasn’t going to win that account anyway.”

 “The system doesn’t allow for creativity.”
 “We can’t be competitive because marketing sets the prices too high.”
 “I’m not a people person.”
 “I’ll never be good at....”
When you hear these kinds of statements:

 Ask questions to challenge these assumptions. For instance, ask, “Is this really true? What
other possibilities exist?”
 Provide evidence from your own observations that counter these fixed, negative
beliefs. For instance, “You say you’re not a people person, but you have consistently received
good feedback from internal departments about your responsiveness.”
 Help the person reframe fixed-mindset statements in less permanent and all-
encompassing terms. So, “I’m not a people person,” could become “Working directly with
clients is a challenge for me right now.”
 Create next steps. Once the problem is framed in approachable terms, agree on a small step
forward. “I’ll get some coaching before I talk to this client again and debrief with my manager
afterward.”
T O OL

Worksheet for Challenging a Fixed Mindset

Read More

Encourage flexible thinking

Flexible thinking is a key part of learning agility. People who are agile learners don’t cling to one
narrow view of a situation. They are able to pick up, evaluate, and embrace (or discard)
information as they make sense of a situation. In this way, they are able to adapt and grow.

To help someone you’re coaching see more than one side of a situation:

 Entertain opposing ideas. Discuss “what ifs” and alternate scenarios. Ask questions like,
“What if you tried something different/went farther/chose another route?"
  Brainstorm questions. Together, come up with a list of additional inquiries that could help
build a fuller picture. Ask, “What pieces of information are missing? “What is most relevant?”
or “Who might offer a different viewpoint?”
 Push for creativity. Instead of settling for the first answer that the person comes up with, pose
questions like, “What else?” “How else could you approach this situation?” “What’s
something radical you could try here?”
Remember that when you’re coaching this way, you’re not necessarily advocating for any
particular course of action. Instead, your goal is to encourage a habit of exploring a range of
possibilities.
Enable self-awareness
Help your employee become aware of the role their emotions and automatic habits play in
learning and growth.

Guide them to reflect on:

 Processes: What are the default ways in which they approach new tasks? What are the
strengths and limitations of their habits? When have they experimented with working in a
different way, and what was the outcome?
 Emotions: What emotions serve them well? When are they most willing and able to learn?
What triggers defensiveness and/or resistance?
 Adaptability: How quickly can they assimilate new information or norms? When do they tend
to hold on too long to an idea?
 Blind spots: What kinds of ideas and people do they gravitate toward? What or whom do they
avoid? Are they open to hearing from people who hold opposing views?
EXAMPLE

Renée complains to her manager, Gordon, about a committee she’s been asked to lead: “We’re just going in
circles. No one is collaborating so we aren’t getting anywhere.”
Gordon decides to coach Renée for learning agility. He begins asking questions designed to help her reflect on
the processes she used launch the committee and the emotions she feels now about the committee’s ability to
do good work. Armed with new insights, they create a plan for moving forward.
Defusing Defensiveness
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Monique Valcour - Executive Coach and Management Professor
Coach employees so they move past initial resistance and gain perspective on their performance.
T O OL

Worksheet to Help Build Self-Awareness

Read More
 Learn from mistakes
Don’t let a good mistake go to waste. Missteps are great fodder for coaching sessions.

Let your employee know you will not penalize them for candidly discussing missteps or missed
goals. Build trust by sharing mistakes you’ve made and how you’ve learned from them.

By coaching this way, you signal:

 No one is perfect.
 Experiments, smart risks, and failures can be powerful learning experiences.
 Candor and humility pave the way for learning; defensiveness does not.
These questions can be helpful in reflecting on mistakes:

 What was the root of this mistake?

 What have I learned?
 What would I do differently?
 What old assumptions or habits got in the way?
 How did I recover?
Recognize effort
When you’re coaching for learning agility, praise the effort, not just the results. By signaling the
value of traits like persistence, innovation, risk-taking, and curiosity, you position your team
members for long-term success.

Here are examples of feedback that recognize effort:

 Employee’s behavior

Coach’s feedback

 Spots an important pattern in business and makes others aware

“You noticed that customers kept misinterpreting the terms in our service agreement. That helped us rework
the contract.”

 Takes a smart risk

“When the VP asked for reactions, you spoke up candidly while everyone else was silent. You made others
feel safe raising their concerns and opinions.”
 Digs into information to extract critical knowledge

"Your follow-up calls to our partner made a huge difference in gaining insight that helped to close this deal.”

 Adapts to changing circumstances

"You kept calm when we announced the project scope was changing and put together the new schedule. Your
attitude helped set a positive tone for the group.”

Build a learning culture *

Ideally, learning agility spreads beyond your one-on-one coaching sessions and becomes part of
your team’s culture.

To cultivate a learning culture, provide:

 Psychological safety. Make sure ideas are thoughtfully considered, not rejected out of hand
because they are different or unexpected. Make sure that people who disagree with majority
opinion are heard during meetings.
 Respect and inclusion. Make sure that everyone feels welcome to be their “authentic self” at
work. Discuss how diversity of thought and perspective produces stronger business results.
 Opportunities to collaborate. Give your team members chances to work on cross-functional
projects where they can pick up new insights and perspectives from other members of your
organization.
 Support for experimentation. Signal that innovation requires taking smart risks. Celebrate
learning, not just results.
 Time for reflection. Manage workflow so employees have time between deadlines to pause,
engage in creative thought, exchange ideas, and socialize.

Coach Across Boundaries

Coaching across boundaries—whether physical distance or cultural differences—takes additional
awareness and skill.

A two-way street
At its best, coaching is a two-way street where both parties learn and grow. That’s never more
true than when you’re coaching someone whose age, race, gender, or nationality is different from
yours.
In these situations, coaching often demands extra awareness and patience, but it’s worth the
investment. When you coach someone who is different from you, you have a chance to acquire
insights and knowledge you might not have otherwise gained.
 Differences in values, experiences, and customs can affect how:

 You and your employee behave

 You interpret each other’s behavior
 You communicate with each other
When you coach people who are different from you, make sure to cultivate:

 Patience to listen as others express ideas in unfamiliar ways

 Humility to accept that someone from a different background might have a better idea than
you
 Dedication to untangle cultural assumptions when there’s a misunderstanding
 Persistence to find moments to coach and exchange ideas
Coaching and Complexity
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Andy Molinsky - Author “Reach and Global Dexterity” and Professor at Brandeis University
What are the challenges and trip wires of coaching someone from a different culture?
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Reach out to female employees

Research has shown that women often don’t get the same levels of support and advocacy in the
workplace that men do. This can be the case even if their managers are women. When you are
coaching women in your organization, make sure to:

 Give both praise and constructive feedback. Some studies have found that women get
“protected” by male leaders and not given the specific feedback they need to improve. Make
sure everyone you coach understands their strengths and the gaps they need to close to
advance in their careers.
 Coach during stretch assignments. In many organizations, women don’t receive enough
opportunities to be visible as potential leaders. Coaching can help everyone be more successful
in stretch assignments and build momentum toward the next “reach.”
 Ask, don’t assume. Discuss the same issues with a female employee as you would a male
employee. Investigate goals, ambitions, and trouble spots. Don’t assume, for instance, that
having a new baby means a woman would not want to take a project where travel is involved;
ask her directly.
  Coach on self-advocacy and negotiation. In general, women are less likely to tout their
accomplishments and negotiate for raises, promotions, and high-profile assignments. Coach
your female employees on how to make a case for advancement and opportunity.
Coach experienced employees vs. newcomers
Sometimes you’ll coach someone who is of a significantly different age or career stage from you.

To tailor your approach:

 Coach experienced employees on:

Coach newcomers on:

 Shifts in the industry or market.Institutional knowledge may cloud their sensitivity to new data and changes.

Context and awareness. Newcomers need to understand how their job fits into the larger organizational
purpose.

 Diversifying their networks. Experienced employees may habitually seek input only from a set group of
people and thus always get the same information.

Expanding their networks. Newcomers need to cultivate influence and resources within the company and the
profession as a whole.

 Efficiency. Are there new, quicker ways to get work done? Are any processes this employee uses outmoded?

Focus. Have they identified the right priorities and problems as they work toward a goal?

 Willingness to experiment. Give feedback that reinforces learning agility and continued commitment to
growth.

Successful first steps and sound instincts. Newcomers benefit by being told they’re on the right track.

Ease Employees into Change

 ABOUT

 BIO
 TRANSCRIPT
John Lees - Author “How to Get a Job You’ll Love”
Help longtime employees take small steps to achieve growth.
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Coach virtually *
Although it’s ideal to coach in person, there will be times when face-to-face meetings aren’t
possible. You and your employee may work in different locations or even different countries.

To coach virtually, make sure to:

 Give undivided attention. Coaching isn’t like a group conference call. If you occasionally
tune out, you’ll miss nuances and damage trust. Your employee may feel it’s not worthwhile to
raise important issues.
 Use phone or video. Let the other person choose based on which format makes them more
comfortable. Video can be helpful for facial cues and expressions, but it can also be distracting
for some people.
 Smile to start. Open the conversation with a smile, even if you aren’t using video. Studies
show people can tell from tone of voice if someone is smiling or frowning, without seeing the
other person’s face.
 Use email for follow-ups. Don’t attempt to coach over email, chat, or messaging functions—
neither of you will pick up all the nuances. But these messaging tools are excellent for
thanking the person, making follow-up agreements, linking to additional learning, and
planning the next coaching session.
 Manage time. Exchange agenda items in advance: They can be as simple as a few bullet
points of what you want to discuss and what the other person wants to raise. At intervals, let
the person know how much time is remaining: “We’re halfway through. Should we change
subjects and talk about project B?”
 Schedule buffer time. Allot 10 minutes after a coaching call to reflect, take notes, and send
any follow-up items. Strong follow-up is critical for maintaining momentum when you and
your employee aren’t in the same location.
Coaching My Virtual Team
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Mark Kaestner - Global Director, Leadership & Executive Development, The Coca-Cola Company
Learn how to be “present”—even if you’re not in the same location.
Coach across cultures
In a coaching conversation, you’ll always use the basic tools—listening, inquiry, feedback, and
input. However, when you’re coaching someone from a different culture, you may need to adjust
how you use these tools and pace the conversation.

When you’re preparing to coach across cultures, ask yourself:

 What is the role of “small talk”? Are opening pleasantries seen as vital to showing warmth
and building trust? Or would this person consider a lot of chat a frustrating waste of time?
 How do people like to receive feedback? In this culture, is it better to be specific and direct,
or to be slightly more oblique? How can I confirm that my message has been properly
“heard?”
 How directly opinions are shared? How willingly will this person be candid with me, their
manager? Will I have to interpret meaning based on other cues?
 How will they perceive the power dynamic? Will my employee be comfortable openly
reflecting on their performance with someone who manages them?
 Do I know enough about this culture to coach effectively? If not, who can I get to advise
me about this culture and individual before I attempt coaching?
As you work through the process, adopt these ground rules

 Assume good intentions. Generally, people make gaffes because they aren’t familiar with
language and cultural nuances, not because they mean to be difficult. Paraphrase what
someone has said to confirm that you’ve understood accurately. If you’ve inadvertently
stumbled or possibly caused offense, go back and clarify what you meant—even if it’s a few
days later.
 Create guidelines for working together. In some cultures, punctuality and strict schedules
are valued. Other cultures view time and deadlines as more fluid and flexible. Establish norms
about response protocols and deadlines.
  Be resilient. It can feel awkward to speak in a new language or to listen patiently to unfamiliar
accents and phrasing. Treat your own mistakes as learning opportunities. Remind yourself that
your genuine effort to learn will pay off as you and your employee get to know each other’s
habits.
 Use positive body language. Nonverbal communication is critical when you and the person
you’re coaching don’t share the same native language. Smiling creates goodwill and helps
relax the other person. The same goes for posture—sit straight, with shoulders relaxed and
arms uncrossed.
Communicate Across Culture
 ABOUT

 BIO

 TRANSCRIPT
Vinod Parmeshwar — Director, Global Human Resources, Oxfam America
Make sure your ideas and requests don’t get lost in translation.