Memoirs of A Shadow President
Memoirs of A Shadow President
Memoirs of A Shadow President
Neidermeyer: “You’re all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me
twenty!”
—— Animal House
Jennings: “Now, what can we say of John Milton's Paradise Lost? It's
a long poem, written a long time ago, and I'm sure a lot of you have
difficulty understanding exactly what Milton was trying to say.
Certainly we know that he was trying to describe the struggle
between good and evil, right? Okay. The most intriguing character, as
we all know from our reading, was...Satan. Now was Milton trying to
tell us that being bad was more fun than being good? [no response]
OK, don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you
find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-
winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his
jokes are terrible. [Bell rings, students rise to leave] But that doesn't
relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for
reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!”
—— Animal House
“Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what
they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least
something different.”
——T.S. Eliot, The Sacred Wood
Memoirs of a Shadow President
By Arnav Gupta
Copyright 2019 Arnav Gupta
Smashwords Edition
Memoirs of a Shadow President
A papal encyclical
These times were biblical
Weapons of mass-distraction
Masonic symbols of erection
Embracing the Charavyuha’s guaranteed entraption
A Bible Belt
Gilded ghettos of smelt
Identity politics manipulations heartfelt
Deus Ex Machina
Enters the technocratic arena
You won’t enjoy these cookies
Unregulated data broking bookies
The leader of the Green Party fervently raiding across the river Styx
You have been knighted agent Nix
The Queen of England’s honor up in the mix
Cambridge Analytica’s digital bread and circus data fix
Unintentional fame
The name of the game
If I told you it wasn’t me
You still gonna put the blame on me?
When LaRouche told yo asses Voldemort was a she
A bot mines the OCEAN
There was no private notion
An Artificial Intelligence learns emotion
Pay to play
A lobbyist’s heyday
A zealot refused to obey
A minion insisted upon his pound of fillet
An unwitting participant in ana elitist play
A Burning Bush
A battle in the Hindu Kush
A far Eastern tea party
A Filipino Berlusconi
A childish Gambini
A fella just trying to make some Bambini
Oligarchy
Virtue et non vi
Living Dangerously
Last sleigh by the sea in Koh Phi Phi
The biggest Fuck You ever recorded in history
Hitler vs Churchill
Vidal vs Buckley
Cryptonazi
I ought to punch you in the face you patsy
If it’s yellow
Let it mellow
Amazon workers afraid to bellow
Right to work
Countercultural Twerk, Twerk, Twerk
Golden showers
Twin towers
Opium flowers
Demonitization
Righteous Indignation
Pulling out of the World Trade Organization
Coitus interrupts to forestall procreation
The birth of a nation
Artificial Insemination
Quantitative easing’s delegation
The Gold standard’s relegation
Bitcoin welcome to claim this creation
It may not be good for America, but it’s damn good for CBS
Lugenpresse