JET SET WILLY: THE DRUNKEN MASTER!!!

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Contents
1: usual crap
2: A WARNING
3: Some preliminary bullshit! (and it is bullshit)
4: Story
5: Basic instructions
6: Some patter about the rooms (it's actually a lot)
7: Legal stuff

CH, CHING HERE WE GO!

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1:Usual crap

JSW The DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!! ver 2.1

By the DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!! BaSe1 PrOdUcTiOnZ 2002.
Based on the original concept by Matthew Smith.
Game from software projects 1984

2: A LITTLE WARNING BEFORE YOU PROCEED THIS GAME (AND README FOR THAT
MATTER) CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE AND SOME SUGGESTIVE THEMES SO IF YOU'RE
A PARENT IT SHOULD BE AT YOUR DISCRETION AS TO WEITHER OR NOT YOUR KIDS
PLAY IT. BUT IF THEY DO AND THEY GROW UP MENTAL DON'T COME LOOKING FOR
ME COS' ALL I'LL SAY IS I WARNED YOU. AND IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED
FUCK OFF!

3: Some preliminary bullshit!

First off I'd like to say JSW has to be my all time childhood
favourite. At the time nobody could ask for a better game (well they
could but all they got was Technician Ted, Henry's Horde and Odd Job
Eddie). Anyway I first played this when I was about 4 or 5 years old at
my cousins friends house and then I forgot about it for a month or 2,
until my neighbour revealed his copy of JSW 2 to me which was
mindblowing at the time. After harrassing my mother and Grandma (Dad
didn't stick around) for about 2 months solid I finally got that golden
ZX Spectrum. Unfortunately I was unable to get Either JSW games as they
had all sold out, I couldn't even get Manic Miner. It seemed like years
until I got these games but it was probably only a few weeks. I
remember every frustrating second of having to load it in again when
you typed the code wrong twice at the start. I remember dying over and
over on the "forgotten abbey" I remember how pissed off I was the first
time I fell down "The entrance to hades" I remember it all like it was
yesterday. I also remember all the grief I used to get off the twats
who owned C64s mmmm my jet set willy's bigger than yours and mmmm mines
got more colours. well I don't care I never said I disliked the C64
versions anyway,but even If I'd known about all the extras the C64
versions had I still would have got a spectrum so there.

4: Story

Willy has once again planned a MASSIVE blow out. All was going well in
the few weeks leading up to the party and willy was happy once again.
The house was spotless so that fat bitch Maria couldn't whinge about
anything "This is going to be the best one yet" thought willy proudly
as he unloaded the 35th crate of lager from his truck. once again the
wine cellar was stuffed to bursting with....well...wine and a shit load
of other alchoholoic goodies. The Invitations were next as Willy filled
in the 200th invitation Maria entered the room with a vacuum cleaner
saw the huge pile of invitations and frantically started flapping the
hose at Willy. "If you have another one of your little get togethers
I'm leaving, you can find another mug to clean up after you" Willy
noticing her obvious discomfort reasured that this time it was invite
only and not too many would turn up. Maria left and Willy shrugging his
guilt off (by drinking a large stiff gin) filled in the last 50
invites. Time passed peacefully and at a comfortable pace until the big
night arrived, followed by the first few guests. The first few were a
couple of fat toffs from a big house further up the hill from willy's
and even after Willy went to the trouble of supplying as much booze as
possible the cheeky sods still brought their own. Next came Hairy bob a
sheet metal worker who was friends with willy before he made his
fortune. Hairy bob had brought his equally hairy wife and his stunning
18 year old daughter Roberta (Whom Willy was convinced was adopted). An
hour passed and so many people had turned up Willy lost count but he
didn't care as the booze was starting to take effect. Then there was a
knock at the door 2 hippy looking student chicks who were totally rat
arsed drunk were standing on the path. "Hi Mr Willy" they shouted".
"Invitations" replied Willy. "Argh come on we're friends with Roberta
you know Hairy Bobs daughter". This was good enough for Willy and the
first gatecrashers entered (anyway they were young fit student birds).
Willy kept an eye on them for a while then thought "AGH! Bollocks they
seem OK", and walked away into the party. The 2 girls hung around the
front door and waited for the 3 quiet knocks which could only just be
heard from where they were standing. Willy had NO CHANCE! The door was
opened and in stepped the DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!! Following the drunken
master were a bunch of odd induviduals varying greatly in size and
style (they literally looked like a bunch of people who would ignore
each other if they'd never met). A Large man stepped in and placed a
roll of lino and a fuckin' HUGE boombox on the deck unrolled the lino
and the fun began. More and more rowdy breakers and students and
hippies and wiggers and wannabe gangstaz turned up and within half and
hour the house was looking a bit worse for wear. Willy frantically
walked around saying things like "try not to spill that" and "No you've
got gear burns on the chair". A large manky looking krusty demanded
that Willy chilled and handed him the biggest spliff he'd ever seen.
Well If you can't beat them....thought Willy and went with the flow.

Willy woke suddenly. The pain in his arse was unbelievable where the
hell am I he thought. and waking up and standing to his feet he jumped
up and doubled over his arse was on fire could he really have ordered
37 keema vindaloos from Abduls and had them delivered to his party. Did
he really see the drunken master putting more concentrated curry paste
into his vindaloo and what else got delivered at his expense. OH! MY
GOD! Shouted Willy and desparately tryed to scramble over the
unconscious party goers, pizza boxes, curry cartons and not to mention
tab ends, roaches and empty liquor containers. Willy's scramble
was painful and almost in vain but at last he reached the bathroom. He
ran to the toilet let out a sigh followed by a scream, the pain and
smell were to much for his sleepy semi drunk doped up head to take. He
passed out. Waking with a start he looked at his watch Oh no! It's 7am
Maria's been home for half an hour. Dreading what would happen when
she saw him he eased himself from the toilet...........................
The Journey through the house begins once again! Can you help Willy
find all the crap lying around after the DrUnKeN mAsTeR!! and his
weirdo bunch of hooligans trashed the party and the house for that
matter.

Fuck me I didn't mean to write an epic but it looks I did..............

SORRY! for those who like it short and sweet and ENJOY! for those who
like a story. Also even though I named the man responsible after myself
don't go thinking I'm a complete idiot. I'll admit I can be a dick when
I'm drunk but I'm nowhere near as bad as this.

5: Basic instructions

Nearly the worlds population knows how to play this but for those
unlucky to have missed out I'll tell you THIS IS NOT THE ORIGINAL GAME
but the gameplay remains the same all you have to do is guide willy
through the house collecting the flashing objects (these always seem to
represent debris from willy's parties). It sounds easy just try
you'll be surprised how tricky these games are.

You will be playing this through an emulator and if yours supports a

stick you can use that otherwise.

Use O-Left, P-right, SPACE-Jump although you can use a combination of

keys from the top row of letters. you can also use the bottom row of
letters to jump.
A-G pauses H-ENTER/RETURN unpauses and toggles music ON/OFF

6: Some patter about the rooms.

WARNING THIS MAY SPOIL ANY SURPRISES OR THE GAMEPLAY ITSELF

It started with a curry

Once again you start in "The Bathroom", although I changed this to "It
started with a curry" there's only subtle changes like I replaced the
stairs with platforms and made it possible to enter above the East wall
base from the right. The story behind this is some evil bastard at the
party kicked a hole in the wall behind the bog. I also placed Willy
near the toilet instead of in the bath to give the just woke up effect
from the story.

Did you take the maverick route

This is just " Above East wall base" With some subtle changes I changed
the floor into simpler looking platforms and added a load of them all
over the outside with an item on it. The story behind this one is that
some sick joker threw Maria's Vibrator off the roof and that's where it
landed and as foul as it seems willy has to get it back before she
notices.

The priest Jumped off the roof

This is just "Priests' hole" changed about a bit I added platforms

outside and an item which I think and hope inexperienced players will
have a bit of bother getting to I also added an item parallel to the
original and normally only item in the room. The story behind this is
Willy's chaplain couldn't handle the stress of all the debaucherie and
sinning going on at the party and prompty topped himself.
This room also gets me out of a spot because I changed all the priests
to a man doing the moonwalk.
I wish I'd had chips instead

This was "Top landing" but I changed it to this it's meant to be a tie
in style reference to the first room and I also swapped a few platforms
around. But that is all that's different.

Mastur Bation

Usually called "Master Bedroom" I only wanted to change the name of

this room because I like it and I think this name is quite comical
Don't say you never jumped up and down in front of Maria laughing at
her wrist action when you were younger. If your new jump up and down
in this room and watch the fat womans had go up and down up and down
up and down.........................................Repeat until bored!

They smashed the stairs

This was originally "First Landing". I had at first changed this room
to "Look at gay Brian" but I thought this a touch unfair and offensive
so I changed it. This is another room where I've removed the stairs and
replaced them with randomly placed blocks, and I inverted the cross on
the wall. Note if you drop down into here and want to go back make sure
you jump straight back to where you came from cos' once you're at the
botton there's no going back (well not that way anyhow).

The slightly easier Nightmare

This was originally the "Nightmare room" it was a constant battle

between this and "Forgotten abbey" to be the hardest room in the game.
I made one slight change to this room for pure revenge purposes (IN YA
FACE MATTHEW SMITH). All it is, is a platform under the the one bearing
the item so you can simply walk into the room jump up and collect it
rather than having to jump around on the platforms. I also sealed it
off from "The Banyan Tree" because I wanted the screen. In it's
original form this room can reduce a grown man to tears a lady to
homicide and a child to depression and random fits of violence.

The crabs fucked my sandcastle

This is just a messy variation of the beach no really amazing changes

at all, and no real meaning.

Those bastards blew my boat up

This was "The Yacht" but I needed to block the screen off because I
used "the Bow" (the screen which usually follows on from the Yacht) to
make a completely different screen. No real story behind this just
suppose some of the more loose minded guests had a bit too much fun and
here's the result.

PHEW! They filled that hole in!

This is just "The security guard" with a title change a platfrom added
so you can now drop through the stairs, and the hole beneath the stairs
and in front of the lower exit. Players in the know will cotton to what
I mean by the title almost instantly. But for those who are furrowing
their brows as they read this There used to be a room under here called
the "Entrance to Hades" and if you dropped in to it you lost all your
lives.

The drive

The drive hmmmm, I filled the hole in here because I don't like the
"Under the drive" and "tree root" screens and I needed them to make
more custom screens.

This tree

This was origainally "At the foot of the Megatree" All I've done here
is changed the title and cut off access to the 5 screens above cos' I
needed them. The basis of this title is supposed to work like the three
room title from JSW 2 which was obviously 3 rooms one called
INCREDIBLE- the second called -BIG HOLE- and the final -IN THE GROUND.
I know this seems patronising to someone in the know but someone may
be a newby new kids are born everyday, so for all you know there could
be millions of youngsters who've never played (or just aren't
interested).

Doesn't look so mega to me

Yep you guessed it this is the second and final part for now although
I'm tempted to move the bridge along one so I can make it a 3 parter.
This room has nothing changed.

There's a plane in my ceiling

This was "to the roof" But I sealed it off from below and removed the
conveyer. the reason for this is I needed more screens so I removed "A
bit of tree from below this screen" because I don't really care if that
stays or not But I had to keep this room for the sake of getting to
"The Attic".

The Attic Remix

Just The Attic really blocked off to the right and a couple of items
added I liked this room so much when I was younger I had to keep it in
some way.

They even pissed in the pool

This was "The Swimming Pool" I Needed to block this from the banyan
tree so I built a really crap looking diving board out of the same
stuff as the floor, and I made the pool blue and yellow paradise
(lethal of course). I also swapped the side the item is usually on so
you have to swing over, or would if I'd remembererd to fix the bug
anyway. Fixed the bug now!

More like just a LOONY bastard

All that's different here is the title I intend to give this room a
facelift in the future. It was origainally "Nomen Luni".
update:I never did give this room a facelift and I don't think I will
now.

Pleased as Punch e

This used to be "Up on the battlements" but since all the rooms on the
roof are quite similar I thought I'd make a joke of it. The title
pleased as Punch e Is loosely based on a game that came free with the
first batches of 128+2 (the spectrum with built in tape recorder for
those who know not). The game was Punchy a crap sort of half standard
hunchback rip-off which although rubbish was a change from the original
JSW at the time (for about 20 minutes).

I must perform a quick labotamy

Just a title change again but will be different in the future. Was "We
must perform a quirkafleeg" which no doubt had many nerds instantly
scrambling for the dictionary. But I know what one is cos' I used to
read The Freak Brothers.

I used to see the shop from here

I called this screen this because it was originally "The watch tower"
and if you jumped off the coveyer through the top of the screen you'd
end up at "The off license". But I've sealed the top of the screen off
so you can't jump off through the top. Hence the title.

NAH! You still can't shag here!

This room has no significant changes again apart from the title and I
blocked "On top of the house" off as I used it for a different room and
I don't intend to change it any more than this either specifically so
players who know about matts original plan with this room know exactly
what I mean. This room was "Rescue Esmerelda" and I was going to call
it NAH! you still can't shag her but I hit the E-Key by accident I
thought this typo was actually better and not as blunt as my first
intended so I kept it.

Generator down!

Was "emergency generator" but I've wanted to change that room for years
so instead of a pig you have a bird 2 items to collect and you can
leave via th top of the screen. I shouldn't need to explain the meaning
of this screen as it's obvious when you get there. I also blocked it
off to left cos' I wanted the "Dr Jones will never believe this"
screen for something else.

What! No Bellz?

This was my first attempt at a hard room I sacrificed "On top of the
house for this screen as I always thought it was a pretty pointless
screen. As this is above "NAH! you still can't shag here" which was
originally "Rescue Esmerelda" I made a joke with the title as on JSW 2
there was a room called "The Belfrey" of course it was never on the
first game and if you jumped off the top you'd end up in the "Off
license". Eveythings new apart from the guardians I was gonna change
the big skull but I thought no it's probably the best sprite in the
game. Plus if you've seen my Bouncing ham and my moonwalker you'll sigh
with relief that I didn't change the skull.

Alreet' Skull?

I ditched "Entrance to Hades" for this screen and put it above my

"What! no bellz?" screen. I had already changed this screen once but my
first attempt was rubbish really. It was called "Self Explanitary" and
all I'd done to it was remove the word DIE from the screen and change
the title. The original plan was just to have the word MORTAL on the
screen and the different title. The word refered to a state of
drunkeness. The plan behind the new title is based on a comedy saying
from where I live.

I never knew this was here

The title refers to the large turret which appears to have just
appeared on top of willys house. I used "Tree root" for this screen.
Apart from the guardian it's pretty much scratch built.

The previous owners porn stash

The title says it all. I used "Under the drive for this" and it's to
the left of "I never knew this was here". So in effect I did away with
2 rooms I don't like and turned them into these travesties.

The right side of the turret

This is completely new. No rooms used or replaced New floor, guardian

and wall. The room is exactly what the title says it is. I kept it
simple cos' it's leading you somewhere ridiculous.

Just where is this taking me to?

Scratch built and not very well at that just a room to pad things out
a bit.

Take it to the bridge

I can't remember which screen I ditched for this now but I know this is
one of my fave custom screens. It's almost completely harmless though,
and I just put it here to pad out the journey towards well that would
be tellin'.

I see something up ahead

This is just "The Banyan Tree" with an overhaul all the guardians
apart from the devil gone. Then another 3 devils added, and the fact it
no longer represents a tree at all.

EGGIE CHUCK!

The screen that love built is what I would have called this if I didn't
hurt my back from sitting in a computer chair and my fingers mapping
out the crap ostrich type bird thing on there, which although crap is
probably my best sprite. I based this room on Chuckie Egg (Doh!) and
the title is based on the psuedo retro piss take in Lazy Jones Eggie
chuck which at the time wasn't retro at all as Lazy Jones is from the
same era of games as JSW (and Chuckie egg the game in question).

Startin to get rickety again

This is referring to the floor which is all broken up I don't know why
I put all the cooks on this screen it just seemed like a good idea at
the time.

An entrance to a second turret?

An unimaginitive title for an equally unimaginitive screen. oh well at
least you know where you were heading now.

This place doesn't look too safe

This is a reference to the tumble down appearance of this odd tower

which is somehow linked to willy's house and the first room to one of
the nastiest willy related goose chases ever. I'm happy because it made
it and it skins "The entrance to hades" and "Dinking vater" for being
screens of no return.

Don't fall (or jump) off here

Do like it says or throw yourself off and see what happens. I'll wait
til the end to put the shady bit so you can avoid reading it.

You haven't seen the last of me!

This is a room within the turret which and large caterpillar has turned
into it's lair. The title refers to the caterpillar itself as in the
original it only appeared in the attic.

So you risked your life for this

I managed and needed to salvage this room (I mentioned I ditched it

nearer the bottom of here) because I had a really evil idea when I
thought of the whole turret thing so here it is. I couldn't iron the
bug out of this room I tried swapping all the atributes and the border
colour and alsorts willy just turns into a big white square. but it
still plays. I got it sorted No bugs in this room.

READ NO FURTHER OR THE WHOLE TURRET BLAG WILL BE RUINED!!

5
4
3
2
1
.
.
.
0
OK
The last three rooms I made follow on to each other as you plummet to
your death through them They start of with "down' down and down" then
"Into a room full of down" I got this from an old type in adventure
called red door and unlike in the adventure this isn't humerous at all.
The final room in this 3 part equation is "Don't worry it'll be over
soon" which actually has no reference to what I just said but I made it
the final part of this 3 parter just to be nasty so there.

Grab as Much as you can and run!

This was the "Off License" I changed the title to the above to
represent the popular act of off-licence theft usually by those who
aren't legally old enough to buy drink. I was gonna call it "Kamakaze"
but not everyone knows what kamakaze theivin' is, and it's quite a bit
to explain too and most people will probably never read this. But the
title of the room is a slimmed down version of kamakaze theivin'.

They built this wall for you man

I completely sacrificed "The bow" for this and changed it's location to
behind the off license partially because I didn't like "the bow" and
because I used to always want to go behind "The off license" obviously
in the original this wasn't possible. I added the "man" to the end to
make it sound like a cheesy eco-warrior was having a go at you for
building the wall. I was going to put a small yellow room above here
and call it inside the crane as I was originally going to call this
room "The construction site" but I changed my mind. Apart from the
guardian this is a completely custom screen.

The Oubliette

I'm not sure if someone else has made a screen called this before if
so sorry. I was going to call this "I built this screen from scratch"
but it sounded crap and I don't know if it would fit anyway. Everything
here apart from the guardian is new, and it's supposed to be one of
those screens which looks really hard but is in fact really easy.
The story behind this is the construction workers uncovered an old
Oubliette under the construction site above but were too scared to
investigate whereas Willy laughs in the face of danger. I used the
spare screen 47 to make this room. I also used the left over screen 61
to make a Room called so you risked your life for this but it was
really buggy so I scrapped it this room used the skull nasty design as
an item and was located to the right of the east wall base.

The gits never clean the fridge

This was the "cold store" I added another lower platfrom parallel to
the original. I changed the nasty to an odd shaped blobby thing (which
was meant to be a frozen pie) and I changed the Ice cream guardian into
a bouncy ham. The story here is what the title suggests I was gonna
call it the cooks never clean the fridge but I wasn't sure if I was
going to keep the cooks at all.

There used to be a door here?

This is just the backdoor with a slight overhaul I always thought there
should have been at least 1 nasty or guardian in the room so I added
both and here it is I made it slightly more taxing and added an item so
going through the bottom entrance is no longer pointless. The nasties
are supposed to be bits of splintered wood although I'm not too sure
about it myself. The party goers booted Willys back door down simple as
that.

They can't hurt you now

This is "The toolshed" with the item, the nail and the pair of pliers
removed. also the saw and the penknife are under the floor and can't be
reached hence the title of this room. I just didn't want remove this
room and also was too lazy to redraw it.

They never even touched the wine

Just "The wine cellar" with moonwalkers instead of priests and a few
extra items
Party finished yesterday LEAVE!!

Was "Forgotten abbey" one of the original games more frustrating rooms,
now with moonwalkers instead of priests I removed one of the sprites
from the bottom row as well so it shouldn't be as nasty I changed the
item to a clock. The story behind this is just a pop at those annoying
twats who won't leave even after you've yawned rubbed your eyes and
dropped a billion hints, and still don't go away.

Fixed the bug in the Conservatory roof.

They even pissed in the pool and it doesn't look very safe in here both
have the auto collect bug I can't work out which attributes to change
at the moment but maybe I'll fix them soon (fixed). I also added a rope
to the pissy pool room had the bug not been present in the first place
this would have been impossible to finish (I don't know how the hell I
forgot the rope?).

A lot of the rooms I made will have new players a bit puzzled for
awhile but the majority provide the usual tricks and this version is
easier than the game in it's original form once you know your way
around (then again it's not really fair for me to say this as I made
this version). Fuck the above I fixed the auto collect bugs but still
can't fix "So you risked your life for this" (fixed).

The rooms in the game which aren't mentioned here are like kung-fu.
Anyway they aren't mentioned cos' they're not real rooms just the
originals slightly different or maybe not but with a diffo name.

7:Legal stuff

This ridiculous attempt to make a Jet Set Willy was made using Paul
Rhodes' 1984 Jet Set Willy Editor which is bloody good, and approved by
Software Projects. I added a few finishing touches Using JSWED v2.3 by
John Elliot You no doubt know the rules copy this by all means just
don't sell it or any part of it by itself or as part of a package
without mine and the original programmers permission. as this is VERY
fuckin' free ware.

and thanks to:

Matthew Smith for making the game in the first place.

Paul Rhodes whose editor I used to create this game.
John Elliot whose editor I also used to create this game
Everybody who ever edited this game and gave me the inspiration to try
it myself (I did a few years ago with a BASIC editor but the game I
made was crap and I was just messing about). If I'd never gotten back
on the net I may never have been able to download all the JSW realated
goodies I have now. Anyone know where I can get JSW 99. The link on the
blokes page is dead now. (I had this a few years ago and liked it I
even risked getting sacked from work for downloading the Willy the
hacker and J4 patches doesn't matter though I got sacked anyway).

THIS IS STILL NOT TWEAKED TO PERFECTION BUT IF YOU LIKE THE ROOMS OR
IDEAS FEEL FREE TO USE THEM OR IMPROVE THEM BUT NEVER ABUSE THEM.

So far so dodgy..................................................Laterz
DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!! 2002