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Copyright Liam McRae 2016

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 Contents

Introduction Page 4
Jade and the (Almost) Orgy Page 6
Prague Double Date Night Page20
Finnish Girls Birthday Page 32
Tasha Page 41
The Cancerous Affair Page 61
French Tinder Pants Ejaculation Page 129
Facebook Kate Page 136
Zara Page 146
The Office Fire Page 155

Shae Chronicles 1: Bratislava Page 161

Shae Chronicles 2: Budapest Page 167
Shae Chronicles 3: Prague Page 170
Shae Chronicles 4: Bangkok Page 172
Shae Chronicles 5: Tantric Persian Page 173

Tinder in Ireland Page 178

Blendr Page 182
Tinder Friend Zone Escape Page 206
Don’t Play the Game Page 234
Honesty and Commitment Page 246
Kosta Oasis Active Page 254
Taking Good Profile Photos Page 258
Deception Page 289
Swipe Right! Page 302

About the author Page 304

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 Introduction

Hi, I’m Liam McRae, and I’m a dating and lifestyle coach from
Australia. I spend most of my year travelling Europe and America with
The Natural Lifestyles, running intense weeklong live training programs
where I teach guys how to attract women and embody their deepest
masculine core. First we meditate to calm their mind, then we teach
flirting and physical escalation techniques, then we send our students
out to approach women on the street. The goal is to teach them to be
their natural, attractive self.

My previous book was Rapid Escalation: How An Average Guy Can

Skip The Dating Process And Get Laid In Under An Hour. This book
teaches how to get physical with women in a way that respects their
boundaries and makes sure their comfortable as you take them on a
sexual journey.

Since Tinder hit the online dating app scene, myself and my friends
have had some crazy sexual adventures. I knew I wanted to write about
it, but didn’t feel I had enough content for a full book, or any kind of
“definitive guide to Tinder”. I just wanted to share the madness with the
world, and inspire you to go create your own sexual fantasies.

So I present you with some bizarre seductions that have happened as

a result of Tinder. I’ve included some other stories from my past that
were a result of meeting girls online, and other relevant dating insights
I’ve had since Rapid Escalation (2013).
Keep in mind these encounters were all possible because I spent seven
years getting good with women first.
Tinder, and online dating generally, is not a shortcut, a way to avoid
approaching or learning how to flirt with and touch women. Those skills

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are vital once you get to the date anyway. Every second you spend
texting girls on Tinder is a second wasted, that could be better spent
approaching girls in real life, so get your communication skills up to
scratch first.

Go and say hi to a girl on the street before you

create a Tinder account.

Take these stories as inspiration of what’s possible, of proof that there

are girls walking around in your city right now who want to have a fun
sexual adventure…the question is, do you have the balls to approach
them and take them on that adventure?

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 Jade and the (Almost) Orgy

Jade and I matched on Tinder, had some silly chats about super
powers, and exchanged numbers.

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 We agreed to meet for a date. You’ll notice there was a lot of back and
forth, trying to find a time that worked. I didn’t get frustrated or
stressed; she didn’t owe me anything. She was someone I had matched
with on a dating app, to expect her to prioritize me is crazy.
I was patient and the date eventuated. I arrived and there she was, a
cute Asian girl with a rocker-style dress, drinking tea. Within a minute
she told me she was using Tinder “just for friends”. In a strange way this
made me relax—I was hanging out with her, killing time before meeting
my friends anyway. We sat and chatted, she told me all her friends were
boring and mainstream, and she wanted to meet more people with a
little edge.

Little did she know who she had stumbled on a date with, or where the
night would take us.
I told her about my open relationship. I told her about the people I
was going to meet: Dashka, Samson (a former student) and his friends.
You can see a video of these two on my YouTube Channel The Natural
Lifestyles under the title “Shy Nerd Gets Threesome: Stops Giving A
Fuck”.

I told her about the sex parties Dashka and Samson used to throw
named “Book Club”: they would invite girls over, drink red wine, discuss
books and then have threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. This
absolutely fascinated her. Suddenly she wanted to come out with me and
meet these crazy, free-spirited sex maniacs.

We met in the city, and went to a restaurant for dinner, then headed
back to the Natural Warehouse to go cruising in Shae Matthews’ super
hotted-up sports car. A meditation coach who drinks ayahuasca in the
jungle and drives a turbo batmobile, what a paradoxical character.

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 Turned out that only Samson and his friends gave a fuck about the car
and the girls were not remotely interested, so all the boys piled in, took
it out for a spin, then came back. We all went into my room, and Dashka
started playing some sexually aggressive music: Nine Inch Nails.

I was sitting next to Jade, rubbing my hand on her soft thighs.

Gradually everyone left the room and went downstairs, and soon it was
just me and Jade. We started kissing, and my hand went up her skirt.
“Fuck! Don’t do that!” she whispered. I pulled back worried, and look
down at her. “Sorry” she muttered, “it makes me so fucking horny…” I
pulled back, and showed her how hard I was through my pants. Soon
my cock was out and in her mouth and she was giving me literally the
best blowjob of my life.

I've never seen someone deep throat so well, no teeth, just amazing
softness from the tip to the base. She lay on the bed upside down, and
blew me till I jizzed in her mouth. She swallowed the whole load, then
we sheepishly went downstairs and prepared to head out again, acting
like nothing had happened while Dashka gave us a knowing look.

In the club, Dashka and Jade started passionately making out while
Samson flirted with another hot Swedish chick who was curious about a
threesome with him and Dashka. It looked like a five-way was about to
go down at their hotel, but Jade pulled me aside to tell me
“I really wanna go to this orgy but I haven’t shaved my pussy!”
“Let’s get out of here right now and go shave, you live in the city
right? We can meet them at the hotel in 20 minutes.”
We frantically got in a cab and sped to her place. I waited while she
showered, and when she came out in a towel she bent over the bed, and
I started to lick her fresh clean pussy.

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 I just wanted a quick taste before we left, but she was so sensitive
that 40 seconds later she gasped
“Stick your finger in my pussy, I'm gonna cum!”
I ate her ass while she came to a shuddering orgasm.

She put on a skirt but no panties, and we walked the two blocks to
their hotel. While we waited for the others to arrive, she sat below me on
the staircase and I cuddled her to keep warm. My hand quickly found its
way up her skirt, and without panties on I was able to make her cum
right there on the hotel steps again. She was just finishing her second
orgasm when Samson and Dashka arrived.

We went upstairs and it seemed Dashka wasn’t in the mood all of a

sudden. Instead she wanted to lie on her bed and read Christopher
Hitchens. After enduring ten minutes of this boredom, me and Jade were
too horny and decided to head back to her apartment to fuck.
We tore each other’s' clothes off and soon I had her bent over the bed,
absolutely slamming her from behind. I don’t think I’ve ever fucked a girl
that hard for that long, normally I have to take breaks so I don’t cum,
but I just pushed my cock deep inside her, pressed her face into the
pillow and went to town on her ass.
“Harder! Make me take it!” she screamed.

After cumming four more times, she got on her knees and gave me
another one of her world-class blowjobs. It was like my cock was sliding
into heaven with every thrust, before my cum was dribbling down her
chin onto her bouncy tits.

The next time I saw her, I had to take Shae’s car to speed 40 minutes
into the suburbs to pick her up. Cal came with me, because Jade had
told me she was into threesomes.

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 We ended up cruising at 180km an hour. After feeling that speed, I
had a better understanding of why some guys are so obsessed with cars.

When we got home, she told me she was only into threesomes with
two girls. Cal had to leave, disappointed.
“I love being dominated. I want to wear a collar” she told me.
“I don’t have a collar…but have you ever been fucked in the ass?” I
asked. She had not.
We had some more crazy sex, and I started lubing up her butt. I put a
finger inside, and it slipped right in. Her ass was prime for anal. She
perked her butt cheeks up and held onto the bedhead as I gaped her ass
open with two fingers, allowing the tip of my cock to slide right in. Once
inside, I started gently pumping her as she began to moan. I could only
get it halfway in her coz it was so tight, but the sight of it buried in her
ass was so fucking hot. I spanked her butt as I fucked her harder, and
unleashed the first cumshot that her ass had received.
“So, you’re just using Tinder to meet friends right?” I said afterwards
as we laughed.
“And I ended up losing my anal virginity” she said shyly.

Many guys would have fumbled this seduction right at the start, when
she said she was just out to make friends. What she was really saying
was:
“I say this to every guy to see how they react. I want to make friends
first, see if I have a spark with a guy, and if I'm curious we’ll take things
further. But I want to make it clear that I’ll make my decision to fuck
later on. I'm not contractually obliged to fuck you just because we met
on a hook-up app.”

This is obvious to me, I feel the same way. I don’t know if I'm going to
a fuck a girl until we’ve spent some time together.

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 But 95 percent of guys using online dating are so thirsty for sex and
they want to believe in the fantasy of ‘easy’ sex so badly that they put
pressure on the girl to verbalize her desires or agree in advance to sex.
The paradox is that by being so blatant and hungry for it, they take
the mystery out of it, display low social intelligence, and pass up the
chance to give her the pounding she’s craving.

Going into the date open to all outcomes but attached to none gives
you a much better chance of getting laid than feeling entitled to sex and
pressuring the girl to fuck you just because you’re there.

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 Prague Double Date Night

After swiping right on Tinder in Prague, Czech Republic, I had two

girls who wanted to meet that night, and wasn’t sure which I liked
more.
I decided to set up dates with both and decide later, after I felt
their energy and got a feel for what they were like.
We messaged a bit on the app, and one told me she was getting
a tattoo.
Here is the exchange with the blonde one.

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 When I met the blonde one I instantly thought she was cute. She
had bright blue eyes and an angel face. We walked and talked, and
I knew I had to show my intentions early, because I had agreed to
meet the other girl in 45 minutes. I kissed her on both cheeks
seductively. We smiled nervously and began to walk down the
cobbled streets of Prague.
I made a comment on her being cold and pulled her in close; she
giggled. I commented on the fabric of her pants and touched it:
slowly at first, to see if she was ok with it, then moved up her leg
towards her crotch. She blushed and giggled, pulling away playfully.
We walked to Old Town Square while chatting, I spoke slowly and
seductively. We ended up in a doorway and I leaned against the
wall and told her I had a secret to tell her.

Her eyes darted nervously, and I saw her calculate that she
wanted to play along. She stepped in close, and I pulled her in for a
hug and kissed her ear and neck while whispering
“I want to kiss you” in her ear. She shivered, I pulled back and
we started kissing. (Normally as a rule, you should never tell a girl
you’re going to kiss her before you do it. It releases the sexual
tension and kills the mood. It’s more ballsy to just go for it, and
accept her rejection if it comes, because it shows that you can take
a risk. This situation was unique; through my years of experience I
could tell that it was appropriate in this setting. But in any other
setting, just lean in and try to kiss her) I tore myself away and
exclaimed
“What are you doing to me!?”

I looked away, then looked back at her sheepishly, motioning for

her to look down at the bulge that was now forming in my pants.

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She gasped, giggled, and came back in for another kiss. I pulled her
hand down towards my crotch and she pulled away, saying
“Hey! What are you doing…” with an accusatory stare.
I showed restraint and took a step back.
“You’re right, this is moving too fast. Anyway I have to go now,
my housemate can’t find his key…I can come to your place later if I
help him get in?”
“No! Are you crazy?!”
“Yes. I think you knew that already…” I said with a grin.
“Yes and now I feel sad that you have to go…because you’re so
hot! I want to keep kissing you!”

I've lived two decades in this body she’s now

complimenting without much attention from
girls, so I have enough reference to know
that while I'm okay looking, it’s not the way
I look that causes her to refer to me as ‘so
hot’.
It’s the way I make her feel. She feels
excitement, danger, desire, and I bring her
into a safe and relaxed mental space where
she can explore parts of her sexuality that
she usually has to keep locked up for fear of
judgment.

My whole frame is that it’s normal for us to go to bed together, it

could be fun; why not? I’m not apologizing for the fact that I want
to fuck her, and she can see that, so her trying to shame me for
expressing that doesn’t stick.
I have compassion and understanding for where she’s at. It’s not
her fault she’s cautious, she’s not being malicious, she’s just socially
programmed to reject initial advances from men.

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 In many situations, it is a good idea for a woman to reject a guy's
initial advances: it allows her to see what he’s truly made of, how
he will handle pressure, and whether his charm is just a façade of
brimming anger that could explode.
Through my relaxed behavior to the idea, I'm showing her that
I'm NOT one of the guys that’s gonna judge her about it or feel
entitled to sex just because she came on a date, and she’s willing to
take and risk and hope she’ll have a good time.

I say goodbye to the blonde, leaving her with the idea that I will
text her when I’ve helped my friend find his apartment key and
come to meet her.
The extra hint that I gave, I can come to your house, shows her
my intentions. But, I didn’t demand an exact answer, I leave it up
to an impulsive decision later on.

The key story was just an excuse, I was really going to meet my
second Tinder date!

The second date arrived in a black dress with red lipstick. She
was Russian, and told me soon after that she was a stripper. Again,
we walked and talked. She had a very dry, stunted energy that I
didn’t really gel with. Even when she talked about sex, anal fisting,
dildos, she sounded clinical and detached, like she was talking
about a train timetable or the weather.
I could tell within ten minutes that I’d prefer to be with the first
girl; her youthful excitement and inability to contain her flustered
attraction was a huge turn on for me.

I let the second girl know early in the date that I couldn’t stay
long and had to leave (of course, to “help my friend get into his

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apartment”). After 20 minutes of pleasant chat I bade her farewell,
texted the first girl and got in a taxi to her place.

Notice the times these texts were sent. The one at 8:09 was sent
as I waited for the second girl, to keep the first one in the mood for
later.

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 I arrived, she was nervous and excited, but I knew I was getting
laid so I was able to relax. She got me a glass of water in the
kitchen, and after I drank it, I put the glass down, pulled her in
close, and kissed her deeply. She breathed nervously. I sat up on
the bench and wrapped my legs around her. Kissing got more
intense, clothes came off, and soon we were in the bedroom.

She had never given a blow job before. I lay down on my back
and began to teach her.
“Ok, just start with a little peck” I told her, seeing that she was
apprehensive but curious. She took it in both her hands delicately
and gave it a peck.
“Now a lick” I instructed. She glanced nervously up at me, and
her eyes darted back to my cock, which she licked.
“Now put your lips around the tip” She slowly grazed her lips
across my knob, testing the waters and tasting a cock for the first
time. After putting it in her mouth, she giggled and pulled away.
“Come on, you have to leave it in your mouth for longer than
that” I said playfully. She put it back in her mouth for three or four
more strokes and then pulled away, deciding she didn’t want to
anymore.
“Let’s just go back to fucking” she said, so I grabbed her legs,
held them high in the air and started pounding her again. From this
position I could really slam her, and she innocently blurted out
“I’m really glad you came over tonight!!”
Such a cute thing to hear while you’re pounding someone. To
bring this back to her initial hesitation about me coming over, this
was her expressing relief that her intuition was right: we had a fun
night, without her feeling pressured or obliged to do anything.

We took a break for some water, chatted for a bit, and then
started fucking again. This is when things got weird.

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 Throughout this whole experience her dog had been running into
her room, barking, jumping on the bed. She would shoo it out, but
wouldn’t actually take it out of the room, or close the door. I found
this irritating but my focus was on her, so the dog was just a minor
silly distraction.
That was until I had her on her back, hanging half off the bed
while I slammed her, and her dog trotted over. It began to sniff
around her arm, and quickly moved its wagging tongue up across
her shoulder to her breast. To my amazement she didn’t shoo it
away: instead she just moaned and was lost in a haze of confusion
and sexual pleasure.
A depressing thought popped in my head
“Well Liam, you’re fucking a girl who is having her nipples
caressed by a dog. Technically this is a bestiality threesome.”
At least I wasn’t fucking her doggy style at the time.
The licking only lasted five seconds but it felt like an eternity
before I pushed the dog off her.

We took another rest and I realized I needed to get home and

sleep for coaching Eurotour tomorrow, so I got dressed and called a
taxi.
This girl took a risk on bringing me home, it paid off and we both
had a great time. I presented the enticing mix of confidence without
putting pressure on her.

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 Finnish Birthday Party

This Tinder story has a prequel: I got a blowjob from a girl I met
on the street before going on the date. Twelve hours later I was up
to three different girls' lips on my dick for the day.
On my second day in Prague, I saw a doll-faced girl strutting
down the street in tight blue jeans, a blue sweater and a blue
umbrella. She had such a confident walk that I hesitated about
approaching her. All the negative excuses came into my head.
- She’s busy
- That kind of girl won’t stop for a guy like me
- She probably has a boyfriend
- I’m only here for two more days, can I really make
something happen?

Yes, I still think these thoughts. But they don’t interfere with me
rolling the dice and approaching her anyway.
“Hey! I like your style. All blue” I told her. She grinned like crazy
and blushed.
“Thank you! Where are you from?” The air was tense with
nervous excitement, and I asked her for coffee. She gave me her
number and said we’d meet the next day. We did, it was a really
fun date. We walked through a mall, she translated a porn DVD
description for me from the Czech. I suggested we go to my place
so I could play guitar for her.
We got in my room, and I could tell she was nervous, so I set an
intention to myself: nothing has to happen, enjoy her company,
even if we just kiss it will still be fun.

We gradually kissed and I took it very slow as I could see she

was tense being in a stranger’s apartment. I was backing off the

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energy at the right moments, and mixing dominance with
surrendering to her sensual kisses and letting her seduce me. She
would slowly trace her finger up my side and over my shoulder,
sending shivers down my spine.
Gradually her top came off and she was blowing me. It was a
Tantric blowjob, because the tension had built for so long and
wasn’t rushing in any particular direction. We were just enjoying
feeling each other’s energy. “I don’t normally do this!” she said,
excited.
I was on my back and she was leaning over me, and her hand on
my shaft quickened until I filled her mouth right up. We cuddled
after that, and I rubbed her pussy through her jeans, but she
moved my hand away. Noticing her reaction, I took a guess about
how she was feeling; “You don’t want to take off your pants
because you know you’ll like it and you don’t want that to happen
yet…”
“You can read my mind!” she said, exasperated.
After more protracted caressing she blew me again, on her knees
this time, and I came on her tits.

Then I got ready to head to the club for that nights' coaching for
The Eurotour, and the day got crazier.
I matched one girl on Tinder, turns out she was in Prague from
Finland for her friend’s eighteenth birthday party. I matched
another girl, who told me she was in Prague for her eighteenth
birthday party. I put two and two together and realized they were
both there for the same party. I texted both of them “Hey if you
guys want a fun party come to James Dean nightclub tonight, all my
friends will be there”.
Not knowing the city well they agreed to come. At one a.m. they
still hadn’t shown up, and I had finished coaching and was weighing
up my options. I could go home and sleep (the sensible option). Or

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I could go see a different girl that I had fucked a few days earlier
after approaching her in an umbrella shop. Or…I could stay out and
roll the dice on potentially having crazy sex, or potentially getting to
bed at six a.m. empty-handed, losing valuable sleep for the rest of
the tour.
Needless to say I took the risky option, and it paid off. I was
waiting outside the club with John Keegan and Tony Solo, and I saw
a group of young girls walking down the stairs into the club through
the windows.
My thought process, in this order:
- Yep, that’s the two girls I matched with
- Fuck it, too much effort. Go home
- HOLY FUCK. Their other blonde friend is MINT!
- You gotta at least go have a crack
- But that means wading back into that high-pressure social
situation, pushing past sweaty dudes on the dance floor, to
awkwardly approach a whole group of girls in a loud
crowded bar who I’ve matched on Tinder but never met in
real life
- With the possibility that a) it’s not them b) it is them and it
doesn’t go well c) I have a good night but don’t get laid at
all
- Come onnnn Liam don’t be a pussy it’ll literally take five
minutes to just go down there and see how it goes

I summoned the troops (Keegan and Tony) and descended back

into the club. It was just as awkward as I imagined. Lucky for me,
I’ve spent the last seven years of my life learning how to deal with
awkward situations, so I was fine.

I approached them in the dense mosh of the bar, and tapped

them on the shoulder, smiling and saying hello. Of course they had

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no idea who I was, and had already had three or four other random
dudes trying to engage them in jilted conversation in the preceding
ten minutes. So they smiled timidly and ignored me.

Instead of accepting their polite dismissal as a rejection, I kept

persisting, chatting to them until they realized who I was. I had
already made up my mind: I had my eyes set on the angelic
blonde. I pulled Keegan and Tony in and introduced them to the
birthday girl and her friend.
Of course Jess Jules was there, doing an amazing job as
wingwoman as usual. She floated in and said hi to everyone, flirted
with the birthday girl, making us look cool and them feel
comfortable.

My blonde girl was very unresponsive, which in the past I would

have taken for disinterest. This would cause a vicious cycle where I
would either leave the interaction thinking I had no chance, or think
that I needed to aggressively use some kind of ‘game technique’ to
‘pump her state’. Of course, trying to bamboozle some shy teenager
in a loud nightclub with high-energy techniques only serves to
confuse her, create more social tension, and spin your own head
out even further as you desperately try to look for validation and
approval.

Instead, over the years I’ve come to

understand that a girl not responding with
100 percent overt positive enthusiasm, or
who seems disengaged, can sometimes be
shy.

She’s in a foreign country, and has arrived in a totally new social

setting, and hasn’t had anything to drink, when all of a sudden

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some older guy is blurting stuff in her ear on the edge of a frenzied
dancefloor with lights flashing in her eyes.
Keeping this in mind, I kept chatting to her, balancing out my
confidence with nervous laughter and darting eyes of my own,
playing into the shy-cute-confident boy frame. This releases the
social pressure on both of us and allows us to relax and get to know
each other without having to pretend to be cool and put on a fake
social mask in the process.

She was squeezed next to me at the bar while I held her hand,
put my hand on her ass and lower back and whispered in her ear.
Each time she’d shoot me a naughty and shocked look, surprised at
how bold my touch was, but excited that it was subtle. In response,
I would raise my finger to my lips, creating the fun little bubble that
it was our shared secret. This can be really exciting for a girl, as
well as demonstrating to her that you have social intuition and
know to be discreet.

We started holding hands in the club, and moved to the

dancefloor where she was dancing with her friends. There were
three other girls and one gay friend. Tony and Keegan came in as
excellent wingmen and danced with two of the girls. There was a bit
of confusion about who was supposed to go with who and Keegan
kissed Tony’s girl, then tried to dance with his girl again who,
needless to say, was not impressed.
While dancing with her I kept the mood fun, danced with her
away from her friends so we could get a bit more seductive, and
made sure to interact with her friends too. They obviously took a
liking to me, and asked me if I liked her. “She’s really shy! But she
likes you!” they said.

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 After ten more minutes of dancing they gave me the key to their
apartment and told me to take her home. It turned out their
apartment was five doors away from mine! She went to the toilet,
and I had to meditate while waiting ages for her to come out,
making sure not to panic.
My heart rate quickened as we got outside into the dawn, and I
gave her my jacket. She appreciated the gesture. I called a cab,
and then impulsively got in one off the street, knowing I would pay
double but not wanting to risk us standing waiting in the cold for 25
minutes ruining the mood.

The entire cab trip back I was torn with a mixture of tiredness,
excitement, and panic that we wouldn’t get back to the apartment
in time and her housemates would arrive home to interrupt us. We
got out of the cab, and she couldn’t remember what number her
house was or what side of the street it was on. I was equally
confused, it looked different in the dawn light. We walked all the
way to one end of the long street, and didn’t find it, and started
walking the other way. Fuck! I couldn’t handle the cold or the
tension so I said “Lets run to stay warm!” and we sprinted to the
apartment.

Yet another spanner in the works presented itself: the key we

had could only be used from inside the gate! I took a deep breath,
and slowly and carefully put the key through the bars, opening it
awkwardly. Tense. Terrified. One wrong movement could lead me to
drop the key and leave us trapped in the foyer.
“If I just put it through here…hold on. Fuck. Wait…I think I got
it...no that’s not it...wait....yes...click...it's open!”
We got into her place, and I broke the tension by saying
“I’m tired. Let's just lie down together, we don’t have to do
anything.”

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 We lay down in bed, and I felt like I was coming down off
amphetamines. The combination of extreme tiredness of Eurotour,
the panic and excitement of having this blonde siren laying next to
me and the dawn light all added to the effect. She had striking
natural blonde hair and that fair smooth skin to match, a classic
Scandinavian beauty.
We began to kiss and I lifted up her dress, feeling how silky her
skin felt, her soft hair brushing against my bare chest like a golden
cloud from heaven. I reached down to finger her but she stopped
me; she was on her period. “But we can still do…stuff” she said
innocently. This turned my slowly swelling cock into solid rock. The
naïve demeanor mixed with the subtle implication that she wanted
to blow me was such a turn on.

We made out, and she reached down for my pants. I pulled it out
and she started jerking me while kissing me passionately. I got up
on my knees and she didn’t hesitate to begin to lick and suck it. It
was a bit dry and first, but I kissed her again, making sure to leave
her mouth extra wet. She kept a steady wrist motion while sucking
and licking the tip, and as I got closer I lay back down on my back.
She pulled back and continued to jerk it as I came like a fountain
shooting jets that flew into the air and came back down on her tiny
little hands. The look in her eyes told me she wanted to watch me
explode.

Minutes later, we heard her friends arriving back. The birthday

girl was in a crazy mood, obviously horny and jealous that she
didn’t get to be with the hot older guy (me) who had matched her
on Tinder. She marched into the room, and her other friends pulled
her out, concerned that she was ruining the mood. But we had
already finished and were in the mood to socialize, so we told her to
come in, and Tony came with her! I didn’t know he was coming.

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 Soon the four of us were jumping on the bed, dancing, hugging. I
took my girl outside and left Tony alone in the room. They hooked
up for a bit, but she told him she felt weird going further with her
friends on the other side of the door, so they came out and we all
ate pancakes together as the sun rose.

The Finnish crew talked openly about their seduction plans: the
girls had arranged the beds in such a way that if someone brought
a boy home, the rest of them would sleep in the lounge room to
give them privacy. I loved this level of sexual openness, I felt so
free and relaxed to be myself, like I was with my people. Girls on
the same wavelength as me. There was no shame or guilt about
their sexuality, no pretending they didn’t like sex or suppressing it.

The birthday girl kept flirting with me, reminding me that I was
the first boy she’d ever matched with on Tinder and that it was her
birthday. Me and Tony got ready to leave, and she insisted we take
a photo with her. Given the conversation having been so casual and
open about sex and hooking up, our photos got raunchy very fast.
First it was just me and Tony with an arm around her each. Then it
was her with one hand on each of our crotches. Her friends were
encouraging her: “Get down on your knees!” they squealed, taking
more photos.

Soon she was simulating blowing us and we were spanking her

for the camera. The sexual tension was through the roof and
despite having jizzed already with her blonde friend (and twice
during the Tantra blowjob before heading out that night) I was rock
hard again.
She agreed to see us out and was flirting with us both in the hall.
We kept saying goodbye, kissing her on both cheeks three times.
Then we started kissing down her low cut boob top, and she popped

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a breast out for us to kiss. We were both pretty tired, and also
knew that her friends could come interrupt us at any second, so we
started to leave. I turned around again and showed her how hard
she had made me, her eyes lighting up when she looked down at
the bulge in my pants. She kept staring at my crotch so I pulled it
out, and slowly jerked it while staring into her eyes. She was
mesmerized. I reached my hand out to shake her hand goodbye,
and she instantly understood the joke, reaching past my hand to
shake my cock instead.
It was hilarious, but both of us managed to contain our grins and
nod politely at each other, while Tony stood there suppressing his
laughter too. Her friends called out to her, worried that she was
bothering us. We took this as our cue to leave, but she had one
more amazing move left. She turned her back to walk down the
hall, then turned around again and in one swift graceful movement
bent down, took my cock gently in her hands, and gave me a quick
kiss on the tip of my dick! She blasted me with sex eyes once more
and closed the door on us, as I struggled to stuff my boner back
into my jeans and stumble out into the morning sunlight.

What an epic night. Good decision on staying in the club!

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 Tasha

Tasha seemed very keen from her first text. The way she replied
told me that she was already open to new and crazy experiences.

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 When we first met, I stood up to greet her, extended my hand,
pulled her in to kiss her on the cheek and put my left hand on her
lower back. She later told me that in this moment she instantly
knew we would have sex. This fascinated me in its simplicity. She
said
“The way you touched me, so confident, so bold, so early, it was
obvious what kind of man you are.”

The beautiful thing about this is how simple it is. It isn’t magic, it
isn’t a secret, it’s a way of physically and emotionally relating to
women that you can learn and practice. That split second moment
of confidence and charisma is the result of seven years of awkward
rejections and failed escalation attempts.

At first I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to her. How wrong I would

later be when I had her bent over my desk, pounding her perfect
little ass. But initially when she arrived with her oversized violin
slung on her back like a backpack, sweaty from her concert and
with her hair tied back in a prudish knot, I was not overly
impressed.
“Oh well” I thought, “I came all this way, I might as well get to
know this chick and see what she’s like.”

We sat and talked, I tried to impress her by talking about music

and soon realized that knowing Mozart’s name and the title of two
of his pieces was not going to cut it for a classically trained
professional who performs with an international orchestra. I began
touching her by inspecting her hands, and from there it progressed
slowly to checking out her earrings.
The big ramp-up in escalation came when she relaxed her
shoulders and told me she was tired. I tested the waters and said

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“That’s okay, you can lie down on me” and pulled her in. She
instantly collapsed into me, letting herself lean on me.

I took this as a positive sign, and said

“Here, just lay down on the park bench and lay your head on my
lap.” I moved my bag and helped her get settled, so now we were
positioned as if we were already boyfriend and girlfriend.
She was wearing a white boob tube which allowed me to first rest
my hand on her arm, then slowly trace it up around her shoulder
and cross her collar bone. She didn’t comment on it positively, nor
negatively, just passively accepted my caress. This can be one of
the scariest moments for a guy: he touches her, and she doesn’t
react. Instantly his mind goes crazy.
“Fuck! Too soon! No wait, she’s allowing it. But hold on, she’s
silent! Is she okay with this!?” This paranoia is then communicated
to the girl, who feels this strange energy while he touches her.

In my reality, when I touch a girl and she passively accepts it,

this is a huge green light from her. So I proceeded to caress from
her neck down across the tops of her breasts lightly, while chatting
about her concert. I kept the conversational speed relaxed and
snoozy, matching her tired energy and the mood of the lazy sunny
afternoon in the park.

I was feeling blunt and asked her straight out

“Let’s go to my place. I live close to here”.
“That’s it? You want me to just go to your house?” she shot back,
incredulous.
The lazy part and the proud part of myself wanted to just give up
right then and there. I sometimes find myself wanting to write off a
girl at the first sign of rejection because I don’t want to play games.
But my years of experience have taught me that this is such a naïve

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mindset and displays a total lack of understanding for female
sexuality and creating a context that is sexy for them.
So I resisted the urge to say
“Fine! Well we met on a dating app and you let me touch you
straight away so I thought we wanted the same thing, but if you’re
gonna be a prude about it then I’ll bid you good day, Madame!” and
storm off in a huff.
Instead I just smiled, shrugged, and changed the subject. We
chatted for another five minutes, when I said
“Come play violin for me. We can do a duet, I can play some
piano for you”, while standing up and holding out my hand.
She took it, following my assertive lead, and we began to walk
towards my house. We chatted more about music on the way there,
and I held her hand each time we crossed the road.

This is a simple but powerful way to engage touch and test the
waters. It’s also protective, but kind of silly and playful at the same
time.

On the way there she asked again where we were going and I
said
“To play piano. I can just show you one song then we can go”.
The subtext here is
“I understand this is a high-pressure situation and I know you’re
curious about something sexual happening, but I'm just letting you
know that I'm sympathetic to your emotional state and we only
have to go as far as you want. If you want to leave after one song
that’s totally fine, I understand, but if you want to stay we can do
that too.”
It allows her to flow in the experience without feeling like her
coming to my house is her implicitly agreeing to sex.

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 We walked in the door to the epic apartment James rented.
Fourteen-foot-high ceilings, giant windows, chandeliers, floor to
ceiling doors with ornamental skirting boards. It looked like the
palace of a Hungarian prince.

I walked straight to the grand piano and bashed out a sloppy

version of Mozart’s Turkish March, then played an improvisation,
stopping halfway through to say
“Sorry. I forgot you’re a professional and improvising doesn’t
impress you” before getting up and kissing her. Our kiss exploded
in a passionate dance around the room as we tore each other’s tops
off.
When I take a girl's top off I always hug her instantly. This allows
her to feel the amazing warmth of our bodies pressed together, the
sexy feeling of skin on skin, and most importantly allows her not to
feel self-conscious about suddenly having her entire torso revealed
in the sunlight.

With both of us now topless, I pulled her into my bedroom, which

had one of those wooden curtains from two hundred years ago
separating a giant king size bed from a decorative office done up in
a 1950s style. She saw the giant old phone and walked over to it,
and in a surge of inspiration I shifted into a boss/secretary role
play.
“It’s for you” I told her, picking up the phone. “I’ll just sit at my
desk over here.”
“Hello?” she answered the phone seductively.
I closed my eyes and relaxed back into the office chair.
“I think you need to check the documents under my desk” I said,
pulling down my pants and letting my cock spring out. I kept my
eyes closed, knowing that if I opened them the pressure of being
watched might freak her out, and played the waiting game.

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 “Come on, just check around over here, these documents are
important, secretary!”
My eyes still closed, I heard her slowly walk over, and felt her
hands creeping up my legs as she reached for my crotch. I could
hear her moving closer, listening to her breath quicken as she
brought her head down. The feeling of her silky hair on the skin of
my legs made me gasp. Moments later her lips touched my cock.
She was tentative at first, her lips pecking and caressing it, but
more pleasurable than the physical sensation was how fucking hot
the scenario was. Getting sucked off by my secretary! After working
my shaft for a while, I stood her up and we kissed deeply again.
“My turn” I told her with a grin, pulling her pants off. We fumbled
awkwardly till she was fully naked, and I laid her down on the
couch, kissing my way up her soft thighs. She gasped as my lips
brushed her pussy. I began to slowly tongue her lips, moving up to
her clit, and eventually had two fingers inside her.

I was communicating with her the whole

time, something James taught me. Instead of
asking “Do you like that?” I would ask
“Slower or faster? Harder or softer?”
allowing her to guide me in how she likes to
be pleasured.

I ate her out for ten to twenty minutes. Time stood still as she
eventually exploded into a shuddering silent orgasm. I picked her
up and carried her, throwing her straight onto the giant bed. She
sucked me off while I opened a condom. Her pussy was so wet from
the previous orgasm that I slid straight in, and had to take it super
slow because her orgasmic sounds were bringing me close to
cumming already.

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 The next six hours we spent in a cycle of fucking like crazy while I
spanked her, fucking her doggystyle, fucking on the couch, on the
floor, on the piano, taking photos of her dancing like a ballerina in
the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. The entire day I
didn’t ejaculate, using tantric control methods. Part of this
pleasurable frustration made me very aggressive, and I took all my
passion out on her body.
There were periods where I would have to jump off her and slam
dance around the bedroom heavy metal style, roaring like a
werewolf on cocaine. She was fascinated by this, and loved seeing
the masculine energy explosions she was trigging in me with her
moaning, screaming, writhing around. We sweated all over each
other, becoming one big soup together.
She had never been spanked or choked, or even fucked
aggressively like that, and it was a pleasure to open her up
emotionally and spiritually to this type of dominant sex. She was
giddy like a child, when she called her friend and was talking in
Hungarian she was bouncing on the bed while holding my cock like
it was a toy.
I told her
“You are a very passionate person, you have so much energy in
your body and the fact that you combine focused, dedicated and
directed practice with such an expressive style of music
performance means that you are like a constantly overflowing cup.
You need to have intense sex like this to release all that passion!”

I didn’t cum, and at the end of the day she said

“Hmm, saving yourself for another girl later?” with a sly smile.
“Uhhhh….” I mumbled.
“It’s ok” she told me. “I saw all the used condom packets in your
room, and found the blonde hairs in your bed. I know what’s going
on. I’ll even help you clean the bed.”

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 What a woman! She left, and an hour later another girl I had
fucked that week arrived, blonde with E-size tits and a tiny waist.
She found Tasha’s brown hairs in my bed! So now they both knew
about each other. Oh well, I thought. Better to find out now.
The Violinist “forgot” her sunglasses, and had to return the next
night, followed by yet another all night pounding session. This time
I did release into her. I had her pressed up against the headboard,
our bodies entwined together, and I jack hammered my hips until
we both collapsed together in a sweating, post orgasm heap.
Thinking back to the moment of the park, the flash of pride: how
stupid would I have been to throw this whole experience away like a
bratty spoiled toddler, just because I didn’t get my exact way
immediately?

Be conscious about how you react when a girl doesn’t comply or

do what you want. Often your reaction to this moment will
determine the likelihood of you getting laid later.

I ended up spending time with this girl every time I came back to
Budapest. I loved her energy and passion for everything. It was like
she was performing a symphony every time we made love. She was
very down to earth and relaxed too. She was not a normal girl, but
I'm not a normal boy, so this worked well.
One moment that highlighted the insanity of our relationship was
us sitting on the couch together, swiping on Tinder and comparing
matches. It had started because she was telling me about her using
Tinder in Turkey when she went there for a birthday weekend. I
was fascinated about her experience of Tinder, and asked her to
show me a typical swipe pattern.
I was shocked to see her saying no to so many guys who had
qualities that I would have thought were very attractive. Guys with
tattoos, tans, muscles, cool suits, cars etc. Many of the guys she

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swiped no to were guys that I would have considered much more
attractive than me in their Tinder photos. I know that these are only
shallow indicators to a woman, but even so I thought on an app as
vain as Tinder these things would help a guy stand out.
But I've learned that since she was so inundated with messages
from so many guys, she can choose to be as picky and flippant with
her matches as she liked.

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Funny Tinder Photos

Here are some funny fails that Tasha showed me from her Tinder
adventures.
The first one is hilarious to me because it shows a guy that wants
to use Tinder to get easy casual sex, but employing a really poor
strategy.
I was able to have simple casual sex with Tasha, by just having
the patience to text her a bit, and then meet her for 30 minutes
before we fucked. By jumping the gun, he missed a chance at sex
with a really fun sexually open girl.

I was there with her while she read this out, and it found it
fascinating if he thought it would work, so I actually sent some of
her replies myself.

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 This one was from her trip to Turkey.

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 This is a profile picture that I thought was hilarious that she
agreed was good and swiped yes to.

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 The Cancerous Affair

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As you can see, she asked me on the date. She filled the stereotype
of “Eastern European woman who has a strong feminine energy and
expects her man to have a strong masculine energy.”
In the west many women are confused or fed conflicting cultural
ideas about masculine and feminine roles, and often carry some
degree of shame for stepping into their feminine energy because
western culture paints this as weak.

But she told me in the first minute

“You are the man, I like to feel like a lady, so I walk on this side of
you… in ancient Hungary when a man had to carry his sword to
protect the woman he would have it on his left side, so the woman
had to stay on this side, for safety and protection.”

Maybe this is cultural gender speculation a massive generalization

and I’m just screening the universe to see what I want to see
because it fits into the model of reality I want to live in, but who
cares.
Create your own reality, live inside the world of your vision.

We walked to the juice bar, where I got a knowing look from the girl
behind the counter who’d seen me there the previous day with a
different Tinder date (a Turkish cocaine addict who was super pretty
but had hidden her ugly teeth in her Tinder photos. I didn’t see her
again.)
Taking the cue from her emphasis on traditional gender roles, I paid
for both our drinks. $3 is worth it for maintaining the dynamic of
our shared fantasy.

We sat, and I stared deeply into her eyes. I was feeling confident
and cocky as a result of her initiating the date, and her

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nervousness. It made me super relaxed, so I was able to just look
at her without blinking with a grin on my face.
“So...” she began, the first of many times she would fill the in the
silence with this word.
“How long have you been here” she asked.
“One week”
“And… what drink did you get?” she went on.
“Pineapple, beetroot, ginger smoothie…”
“Do you want to know anything about me?” she quipped.
“Ha!” I grinned. “Sure. How long have you lived in Budapest, and
what drink did you get?”

She laughed and looked down and to the side, amused and little bit
agitated at my attitude.
This was the beginning of her tortuous frustration with me not doing
what she wanted, and it driving her crazy, leading her to seek my
approval even more. The more she chased, the more power she
gave me, the more I relaxed.
I was starting to understand what it felt like to be an in-demand hot
woman who men are always chasing.

“What do you do?”

“I help men get confidence”
“Wow… such a noble job. I wish my job was like that. Mine is evil”
“Haha… what do you do?”
“Um. It’s kind of journalism and marketing, I guess.”
“Making people want to buy pointless stuff, huh.”
“Yeah. I told you it was evil.”
“Come on it can’t be that bad. What exactly do you do? It’s not like
you work for a tobacco company or something…”
“Uhh…. Well. Um…” She paused, looking distracted.
“What?”

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“I work for a tobacco company. I edit their internal magazine and
interview the heads of different departments.”
“Holy shit! Holy fuckin’ shit! How did I guess that!? So like,
motivating people to work harder, helping the company to convince
more people to smoke, reduce health warning labels and…”
“Something like that”

We moved on and kept joking, imagining she was a Russian Spy,

looking at the people in the restaurant and guessing their story.
She had a burning intensity in her eyes. I loved that she was able
to match my gaze, without looking away, blinking, giggling, or
making a joke.

Her texts following the date were increasingly needy and insane.
The contrast of her powerful eye contact on the date with this
needy texting was unsettling.
Pay close attention to the time stamps, where she will write to me
passive-aggressively if I don’t reply within an hour or two.

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Notice here how she writes to me three times in a row within 3
hours (12:39pm, 1:36pm, 3:22pm), demanding a reply and
assuming that I don’t like her.

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After this text where she’s basically writing herself off, I was so
unattracted to her that I resolved to never see her again.

Then 40 minutes later and even more desperate text came through
from her and I was instantly hard.
“Dude” I told myself, “she’s just horny. She’s using tinder because
she thought she could get some quick sex. Don’t make her wait till
Tuesday! Give it to her tonight!”

The first signs of her insanity were showing. She texted me

unprompted at 11:51am, then 4:26pm, then 5:04pm. Of course
this urgency from her made me horny.

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So that was it. Instead of waiting till Tuesday we met Sunday night.
We went to a wine bar across from my house, and the tension was
even higher. She looked prettier this time, much more graceful and
elegant. Every time I would touch her, she would match it and
touch me back.

“You touch all the girls like this?” she asked.

“I do what I want. If I feel like doing something, I’ll do it…” I told
her.

I’m not normally this cocky or arrogant with girls because this
particular girl led me to act like that by chasing me so hard.

“You are so mysterious. I can’t tell what you’re thinking. I didn’t get
the impression from the last date whether you liked me or not…”

I used to be dying to hear this from girls, and imagined that if I

acted like a stoic calm collected badass I would get this reaction.
But when I do try to put on that front and fake it, it’s obvious. It’s
not in my natural temperament and feels very forced, and the girls
can sense it.

So it’s ironic that the thing that gave her the impression I was some
super mysterious man was actually me just being myself. Blazing
her with eye contact, grinning, making stupid comments, giving her
deadpan looks and then laughing quietly to myself…

“Want to hear me play guitar? My apartment is across the street” I

told her, not breaking eye contact. “If you don’t like my playing you
can always leave…” I followed, releasing the pressure.

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We got to my room, but I never picked up my guitar. I kissed her
by the windowsill.
“Is this part of your choreography?”
“I KNEW you were going to say that. So predictable” I told her.

Our kissing progressed to the bed and soon I was massaging her.

“You’re cute” I told her.

“Why does it have to be cute? Why can’t it be beautiful, or sexy…”
she complained.
“No, but I mean cute like I want to hit you” I said jokingly testing
the waters for BDSM.
“Oh! You are really scaring me now!” she said, tense, and got up.
“I didn’t mean it like…” I started, but she had already gathered her
stuff and was pacing towards the door. I followed her slowly.
“Hey, come on. Sit down, let me explain”
“No, I really must go…” she said in a hurried voice.
“Can I walk you outside?” I said calmly.

She looked frightened and hesitated at the lift. We got in together.

“Ok. Look. I can explain. It was a stupid thing to say. It’s an old
habit from a previous relationship. We used to role play that I would
playfully slap her on the face. Of course it was out of line to say
that on the second date, we haven’t built that trust yet.”
“Yes, a girl can never be too careful” she said softly, starting to
calm down now as she could see I was relaxed and not aggressive.
We got out of the lift.
“Sit down here with me on the stairs, let’s talk” I suggested.
She sat down.

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“So really, if you want to know the real reason I said that… it’s
weakness. It’s fear and weakness, I had a reaction when you
complained that I gave you the wrong compliment. It reminded me
of the shame and guilt I used to feel when my ex-girlfriend would
compare me with her previous boyfriends and say how they were
more ‘real men’ than me. So then I get this paranoid idea that I
have to be dominant and aggressive to prove that I'm not weak. I
lived the first 20 years of my life with no power or control of my
sexual experiences. I felt helpless. Now I have power, but I still
remember what it feels like to feel weak, so I can get triggered by
that.”
“But you are so confident now…”
“Yes… and also, I don’t mean I actually want to hit you. It is a
metaphor for aggression. For your feminine energy making me feel
masculine passion… which can express itself in hair pulling,
spanking, sometimes slapping… between two consenting adults. Of
course when you don’t know someone well or don’t trust them that
can be very frightening to hear.”
“Ok… I understand now. I like you. I want to see you again. But
tonight I should go home now. Tell me… do you do this with other
girls?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, playing dumb.
“You know. If two people like each other. They should just be with
each other. Not exchanging…how did you describe it… ‘feelings’ with
lots of people” she said with a grin. “Further down the track there
has to be some kind… agreement.”

She was weirdly trying to get me to commit exclusively to her, or to

at least promise that.

“Yeah, of course that can happen between two people. But how can
they know so early? And why would you talk about that so early?”

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“You’re right…” she said with a grin.

The old Nice Guy version of myself would have agreed with her and
told her what I thought she wanted to hear about my commitment.
Instead I just called her on her bullshit and she realized she was
being silly.

I waited with her for her Uber, and felt closer to her than before.
“I'm glad you listened to me. If we can overcome this together, it’s
a good sign.”

Success with women isn’t about doing the perfect thing all the time,
it’s about being able to make a mistake and recover gracefully.

James Marshall’s Response Rule says: “It doesn’t matter what you
say or do, or even how she reacts… it’s how you respond to her
reaction that really matters.”

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We met again, went for a nice walk along the river, and then I said
I was hungry.
“Let’s go cook salmon at my place” I told her, expecting resistance,
but she agreed. It seems discovering my job didn’t turn her off.
We ate the salmon, and soon we were back in my bed kissing.
“I can’t fuck tonight. I have my period” she told me.
“That’s ok, we can still have fun” I told her.
She was kissing my neck and grabbing at my cock. I pulled it out.
“Kiss me” I told her.
“You want this?” she asked, and gazed into my eyes while slowly
licking the tip. I have never had a blowjob from a girl who gave as
much eye contact as she did. It was incredible. The look of passion
and lust in her eyes was unmatched.
“Do you find me attractive?” she asked, while jerking me off.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at this desperation, reminded
myself that she’s obviously had a breakup recently and gave her a
simple “Yes”.

I jizzed inside her mouth and she didn’t want to swallow but this led
her to let it slowly drip down her lips back onto my cock which was
hot. 15 minutes later she was playing with my cock again, and soon
I was hard once more and blowing in her mouth, and watching it
drizzle down her face. Twice in such a short time, I was impressed.
She left, and wrote to me, complaining about her Uber being late,
saying “pfff”:

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She stepped onto the street in a tight red dress.
“Wow. You dressed up…”
“Yes…” she said gently, before leaning in and kissing me on the
neck softly.

We danced the slow seductive dance in her apartment, pretending

to talk about the wine and her paintings while our voices and eyes
suggested what we were both really thinking. I would kiss her neck,
then pull away. I took off her stockings and got down on my knees,
kissing my way up her leg to her firm juicy ass and thong. I could
tell she worked out, her toned butt and flat stomach was so sexy.
Every ‘Yes, she squats’ meme fantasy coming true. I pulled her g-
string off too but left her dress on. I get really turned on by
fingering girls up their dress.

I sat back in the chair, and remembered how on the date she had
stopped me and said
“I want to be the one to do it first” before kissing me. The theme
that was playing out here was “I want to feel like I’m seducing the
seducer. So instead of being the aggressive one, I just let her work
her magic. She knelt in front of me, kissing down my chest and
rubbing her tits onto my cock.

I kept thinking of a phrase I had read about on a tantra website:

“Cock Worship”. That was the only way I could describe the way she
sucked me dick. She was so eager to please, so attentive, flowing
with passion to touch it, lick it, look at it, feel its warm heat in her
mouth.
I had to really let go and fall into a ‘receiving’ energy, to relax and
relinquish control.

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Eventually I reached down and felt how much she was enjoying
sucking cock… her pussy was dripping wet. I slowly massaged the
lips as she gasped with pleasure. She stood up and lay on the bed,
and I ate her out. She grabbed both lips and held them open so I
could get clear access to her clit. I’ve never seen a girl do this
before but it was great.

We fucked, twice. Watching her in the mirror was hot. When I first
entered her it was like fucking a virgin, she was so tight, but she
was so wet it didn’t matter.
Soon she started at me again with endless needy questions about
whether I liked her personality, I drew a line in the sand.

“You realize you going on and on about me not liking you is a self
fulfilling prophecy? It makes me not like you. If you were a boss,
and an employee came in every day to work and said ‘Oh boy, I
suck at this job. I bet you’re gonna fire me today!’ and then the
employee emailed you outside of work hours non-stop about how
bad they were at their job, would that motivate you to keep them
on board?”

She got the message and instantly dropped it. Sometimes women
just need a clear communication of your boundaries, of what you
expect and will tolerate.
As a recovering ‘Nice Guy’ myself sometimes this is hard for me. It
would be easier to just drop into some kind of emotional discussion
about her feelings instead of making it clear that I don’t want to
talk about it. Every time I have one of these experiences of
expressing myself clearly it’s incredibly rewarding.
I respect myself more, and I can see that she does too. I need to be
the rock in the centre of her stormy sea. She can howl and splash

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about all she wants, but I’ll still be there, solid, sturdy and
grounded, unmoved by the chaos.

She told me something insane after this. Remember that she was
going on and on about how much I should commit and one man and
one woman should be together on the second date. It turns out she
dated the same guy from when she was 16-18, then had a two year
break, then dated him again 20-26. But for the last 4 years she was
cheating on him with two different guys, because, as she put it, she
“didn’t have the courage to end the relationship. I should have done
it 4 years earlier…”
One of them was a guy she met through work who lived in Ireland
who would fly over every month or two to see for ‘work’. Another
guy was someone in UK.

The cognitive dissonance was astounding, but it actually makes a

lot of sense. We react most strongly to things that reflect some part
of us back. Everything is a mirror. So someone who has cheated
obviously has a lot of dense stored emotions about commitment
and monogamy. Layers of guilt, shame, confusion, aspiration,
fantasy around monogamy and what it means vs the reality of her
life has left her in a confused flux where she’s trying to balance out
her cheating by insisting the new relationship be different. And
projecting that all onto me on the second date!

A big theme I’ve had this year is Forgiveness. The funny thing is it
came from a Key and Peele skit “Albanian vs Macedonian
Restaurant” where the Macedonian chef is frustrated his customers
don’t know the difference between Albanian and Macedonian food.
There’s a moment where he says
“But they don’t know… I have to forgive them.”

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Whenever I’m in a situation when I'm frustrated with someone
else’s view of reality, I think of this sketch. “I must forgive them…”

It applies in so many areas. Forgiving my haters online. Forgiving

the drunk idiot at the bar who bumped me and yelled at me.
Forgiving people for having emotions that rub me the wrong way.
The longer I do this job, the more my personal confidence and
power grows. For many people around me this is triggering as it
reflects back on their weakness and failures.

So part of my growth is forgiving people who are passive aggressive

to me. My impulse is to think “What a fucking weak spineless cunt.
Be direct with me, don’t project your personal problems and
frustrations as thinly veiled jabs at me.” This applies to anyone from
the lowest bottom feeding online trolls to people I know in real life.

But then I think “Liam…forgive them. They are just people being
people, trying to do the best with the map of reality they currently
run. It’s not their fault, they’re not intentionally bad people they
just have a poor grasp on reality right now.”

It doesn’t mean I have to tolerate their behaviour but it means that

I don’t take their darkness with me when I cut them from my life.

It also means forgiving my clients in their moments of weakness or

when they get thrown off their path. I can only coach and help them
if I forgive them for their failures first. I have to come from a place
of love and understanding, which starts with forgiving them for
being afraid, making excuses, avoiding approaching, not believing
in themselves. If I don’t do it, who will?

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Really what this is also about is letting go of holding onto your pain.
Most of the time, feeling indignation at someone else’s behaviour
and being outraged, is just drawing YOU into their pain. You carry it
around with you. Forgive them and let it go. Forgive yourself for
getting caught up in it.

We met a few more times in the following weeks, and fucked. She
sex was great. She came and worked for The Natural Lifestyles as a
role play model, helping clients on our Residential Program practice
eye contact, touching, flirting, projecting sexual intentions. One of
the clients said to her
“I’m taking this course because I want to attract a woman like you.
I want to have the effect you have on people. Your stillness, your
power, the way people move around you… you have a strong
influence socially.”

It was true. In real life she gave off a very powerful impression. But
as I was realizing from her insane needy text messages, this was
just a front, and underneath she was a mess of insecurity and
confusion.

I realized that I didn’t see a future with her. I felt tense around her,
knowing she was constantly seeking my approval, waiting for her
next needy outburst where she tried to manipulate me into
committing to her or feeding her ego.

“We need to talk” I told her. “We’re not a good match. I know
myself well. I know we can’t be together.”
“Let’s talk this through… maybe we can make it work.”
“No. We clearly want different things. You are constantly pressuring
me to commit to you, to be something I’m not. I made it very clear
how it makes me feel when you constantly ask for my verbal

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approval and want to discuss your feelings, and you didn’t listen.
You continue to drop passive aggressive hints about how you want
me to be. I can see this cycle has no end. We’re not helping each
other grow at all.”
“I can change though…”

This went back and forth, me telling her that I was sure, her asking
why, promising to change.

“Well… I have to tell you something. You know the guy I said I was
in a long relationship with? We’re married. We’re still married.”
“What?! What the fuck?”
“Don’t worry, we’re separated. I moved out months ago.”
“Holy shit!”
“Yeah. I knew before we got married it was the wrong idea. I knew
on my wedding day. But some part of me wanted it. Some part of
me believed in the fantasy, in the dream. My parents wanted it. I
thought we could have a different future, that things would be
different.
I broke up with him after 8 months. I just walked in and said it to
him while he was eating breakfast. I want a divorce. He had no
idea, he didn’t see it coming at all.”
“Jesus… How much did he spend on the wedding?”
“A lot. Around $20,000 which I guess you know is a lot on a
Hungarian salary.”
“Oh my dear lord… poor guy. Holy shit. He must be decimated.
Decades into this relationship… so sure it was for life. Blowing his
life savings to make the wedding perfect. And then you just walk
out like that. Fuck. Well at least you finally came to your senses and
didn’t have any children.”

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We took a moment to let what she had told me sink in. Then she
started again with the convincing, trying to ask about what I
thought and how I felt, ignoring the fact that I was clear about what
I wanted.

Then I did something I’ve done during several other breakups:

offered breakup sex.

The first time this happened, in 2010, I told James I was ending a
relationship, but that I felt guilty because it was casual.

“I feel like a jerk. She’s not asking for monogamy. She’s basically
saying, you can just fuck me whenever you want with no
commitment. And I’m like, eh, even that’s not enough for me.”

“Liam, that’s a stupid mindset. You should expect fire and passion
in your relationships, even if they’re casual. If you’re not feeling it,
you’re entitled to let her know that. Otherwise you’re living a lie
that hurts both of you.”
“So I just go to her place and tell her?”
“Yeah, you might have breakup sex.”
“Good one” I laughed. “Wait…you’re serious?”
“Deadly serious. It can be a nice way to say goodbye.”
“Uh…wow. Ok. I didn’t know that was possible.”

I went to her house. Her parents were away, she had lit her room
with sexy lamps. I awkwardly entered her room, feeling all her built
up excitement at what she thought was going to be a fuck
marathon.
“So. We can’t see each other anymore…”
“Why?”
“I just know. It’s a feeling.”

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She sat in silence.
“But, if you like, want to go at it one last time… I’m down” I said,
and she laughed.

We talked a bit more about the high points of the relationship, how
she was feeling. I dropped variations of this sentence again twice
more, jokingly. In the end it was her who made the move. I was in
the middle of telling her:
“…and that’s all I have to say… but I can’t concentrate right now
because you look so fucking sexy leaning against the wall like that
and all I can think about is how hard I am and…”
She cut me off, jumped across the bed and kissed me passionately.
We exploded into each other, tearing out clothes off, and went on to
have the most insane 3-hour fuck marathon we’d ever had. The
best sex of our time together, by far. I fucked her up against the
wall, fucked her until I came, and fucked her again for 2 hours. In
the end she was so horny but her pussy couldn’t take it anymore.

“You know this doesn’t change anything right, we’re still breaking
up” I panted.
“I know, I know” she laughed. I was hard again.

I poured lube all over her gigantic tits, and slid my dick between
them. I pumped and squished and slid all over them, watching her
pretty little face in awe as she got titty fucked. I came so hard, my
cum spilling all over her tits and neck.

For years after this we would remind each other of this moment by
sending each other the link to Mammary Intercourse on Wikipedia.
Seriously, look it up, it has a super-hot cartoon showing exactly
what titty fucking is, which for some reason is not considered porn.

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And it links to several other sex acts which are also depicted in
graphic cartoon detail.

That was 2010, my first experience of breakup sex. Now, in 2015,

with this Hungarian Cheater in my bed, I was thinking the same
thing.

“I can change… let’s have sex again. I can make it really good…”
We started kissing, and it was 30 seconds in before she started
again.
“Is this all you want?”
“Yes. I made that very clear. We’re not meeting again after today.
If you want to have sex one last time, we can.”
“Yes, yes I do. We can try something crazy…”
“Anal?” I suggested hopefully.
“Maybe…” she said, sly.
My eyes lit up. I forgot everything, space and time collapsed into a
single point where all I could focus on was fucking her in the ass.
But 30 seconds into more foreplay, she started yapping again.

“So, tell me… what would you feel if…” she blurted.
“Ok, this is not fun for me anymore. I think you should go.”
“Ok, fine” she said, getting her things and marching to the door.
“Give me a goodbye hug” I said on the doorstep, but she brushed
me off and walked away. James saw me in my underpants and gave
me a knowing look.
“No, we didn’t have sex. That’s it. It’s over. Oh! Guess what! She’s
married!”
“Jesus… it must be so confronting for her. She is so used to every
guy wanting to fuck her, getting her way, using sex as a weapon. It
is her final power move, the ace up her sleeve. She can always
dangle sex in front of a guy and make him beg. So she must be

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feeling her reality crumble as she realizes that she can’t hold that
power over you, that you can get sex from someone else, that she
can’t control you.”

As I told him the story, the first texts from her started coming
through. What would follow was literally weeks of her messaging
me, without me replying to a single text.
She tried every tactic in the book. Pleading, offering sex, taking it
away, trying to talk, shaming me, lecturing me, offering me help
with my work, pitying me, wanting to be friends…
Notice the time difference between some of these messages. This
showed me her true colors, and proved to me that I made the right
choice to end it with her.
Someone who processes a breakup by bombarding the other person
with messages like this is not someone I foresee a healthy
relationship with. Isn’t her lecture about 2 people loving each other
hilarious coming from someone who systematically cheated on her
husband for years, before and during their marriage?
Again, I must forgive. But see that she has no place in my life.

They start on 22nd of May, right through till the last message on 4th
June.

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 French Tinder Pants Ejaculation

As you can see, she wrote to me first. And was in a new city. So I
knew she was super keen to meet new guys.

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130
"If she doesn't come home with me within 25 minutes" I told
James, "I'm sending her home."

"Good, because you have to be ready to coach at 11:30pm anyway"

he called me after as I walked out the door.

My Tinder date was hotter than I had expected, and her French
accent added an exotic twist. We walked and talked, she seemed
slightly tense but relieved that she was on a date with a chill guy.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Towards the river" I replied, walking towards my house.

10 minutes of chit chat and walking later and we were close. As we

approached my corner I said "It's too cold tonight for the outdoor
bar I wanted to take you to. Let's just go have a drink at my house.
It's close."

"Your house? I'm not going to your house" she said with a sly smile.
She seemed shocked and impressed that I would be so
presumptuous, but was very clear that she did not want to come
with me.

"Why not? Do you think I will kill you or something?" I said jokingly.

She laughed and said "Let's go to a bar and have one drink instead"
she said.

I figured from her facial expression that I should just have one
drink with her, and then she will probably come home with me.
Once she had seen that I was willing to put in the token effort, she
would go with the flow.

The principle at play here is: she was seeing how I reacted in the
face of rejection. She declined my request to come home with me,
but I was chill and agreed to relax, release the pressure and go for

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a drink with her. This shows her that I will be a respectful and
responsive lover in the bedroom.

We got to the bar, and it was very empty and awkward. This made
for some interesting tension which became a joke between us. The
bartender looked like a cross between a hipster librarian and a bikie
gang member. We raised our eyebrows at each other. As he was
drunkenly struggling to find the right type of alcohol to make a
vodka lemon, I smiled at her and put my hand on her lower back.
This subtle display of sensuality broke the ice and gave us a
physical connection.

We sat outside with our drinks, and I touched her hand. She
responded well smiling and caressing my hand in return. We
chatted about the bad dates we had had. I was very conscious that
the clock was ticking, knowing that I had to start work soon.

I downed my drink in three minutes. We chatted for another two,

and I gave her hellfire eyes while she talked. Two guys came out
with glasses of beer and looked around for a place to sit. I saw the
opportunity and took it. "Those guys are looking for a seat, we
should finish our drinks and go."

"Wow, you have already finished your drink!"

"Yes" I said with a knowing smile. "I will help you finish yours too…"
I sucked the straw like a vacuum cleaner, stood up, and extended
my hand.

"Let's go" I said with conviction. She took my hand and followed
me, and we walked hand-in-hand to my house. For a couple that
had only met 25 minutes earlier, we had a very warm intimate
connection.

"I will play piano for you upstairs. Also my friend is here, and she
speaks French too."

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Letting her know there were other girls in the house that I lived
with set a relaxing tone. She knew she was going to a chill share
house, not some Bro-infested war zone.

I bought her into the living room, and the odds were in my favour.
She saw the living room full of people and did not want to interact
with them. So me telling her that we should go to my bedroom was
actually a release of social pressure for her.

I put on some yoga music, and she instantly flopped back on the
bed and said "Show me how to meditate".

I put my hand on her stomach and taught her to breathe. It was

also a chance for me to slow down my energy. It helped me to relax
too. After a few minutes of breathing and caressing her hand
gently, I leaned over and kissed her softly. She inhaled sharply and
rammed her tongue against my lips.

Kissing down her neck and across her breasts, I pulled her top
down and gently circled her nipple with my tongue, before taking it
into my mouth…but not touching the nipple. Teasing her. We
started simulating dry sex, she moaned and pulled me close to her.
I moved up to take off her knee-high boots (which had like 18
laces) and she gave a strong clear "No!"

This showed me two things. One, she was enjoying the safe
sexuality of kissing and dry sex but wasn't ready to unlace her huge
boots and get her tight jeans off... yet. If I had more time it might
have happened but I realised there would be no getting her pants
off before 11:30pm, and shifted my focus to a blowjob.

Secondly it gave me a chance to release the pressure.

"You're right!" I said breathless, "we shouldn't be doing this. I just

met you!"

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She laughed, and I rolled away from her. "What are you doing to
me? Taking me in my room, climbing on top of me like that!"

I pulled her onto me while saying "Get off! Stop! You're crazy!" in a
mock offended tone. She laughed again, and started to grind on
me.

I pulled her top down again and her nipples were in my mouth. I
teased them, licking and sucking, cupping them in my mouth and
flicking them with my tongue.

She was moaning like crazy; she was still on top and now I was
sitting up too, facing each other in a Tantric yoga style pose.

I worked my fingers inside her jeans at the back, and despite the
awkward position managed to slide a finger down, first into her butt
by accident, to which she said "Hey..." In a disapproving tone,
before letting out a gasp of ecstasy when I finally plunged it into
her pussy.

I have found that it's much easier to finger a girl from the back the
first time (if it's in a situation where she has pants on and is giving
token resistance). Most girls have had so many guys try to shove
their hands down the front of their pants, and have an almost
autopilot response of swatting the guys hand away.

However from the back seems the skip over this and allow you to
go straight to fingering her while she's fully clothed.

Then once you've already had it inside her she's less likely resist
from the front. So I undid one button, slid two fingers inside and
gently pressed against her G-spot. Her moans were non-stop now, I
was still sucking her nipples, and I could feel the sexual energy
spilling though the fabric of her jeans into my cock.

I felt a strange feeling... It felt good. Really, really good...

Orgasmic... Holy shit! I was close to cumming!

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I made a quick realisation that I had to leave to work in 10 minutes
anyway, and so I just let go and flowed with the energy, letting the
combination of her moans, soft nipples, and wet pussy send me
over the edge. There wasn't even any friction in my dick, it was all
mental.

I exploded into my underpants, moaning loudly and shaking.

"I just... I just had an orgasm" I panted.

She was surprised and pleased.

"Really? Show me..."

I pulled down my pants and she gasped at the pool of jizz on my

cock and balls.

I cleaned up, and a minute later me her and Tony were walking to
meet the students for that nights Eurotour infield session.

(I'm using voice dictation to write this story into my iPhone. It’s hilarious
because I’m standing in line at the Airport. So everyone else in the line is
overhearing every detail of the story. I can see all the desperate
housewives craning their necks to hear the saucy details over the hustle
and bustle of the security checkpoint.)

Notice that even though this Tinder date escalated to a fast sexual
encounter, it was a still a dance we played together the whole way.
If I had just come in guns blazing with no regard for her responses,
she would have been totally put off. I built her trust by showing her
I respected her boundaries.

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 Facebook Kate

This story is a bit confusing, so I’ll try to summarize: I met a girl

in 2004 at a music festival. FIVE YEARS later, she adds me on
Facebook. Her friend, who I’ve never met, also adds me. Somehow
I end up going over to her friend’s house and hooking up with her.

It’s a piece of my old writing so it’s a little dated, but I thought I

should include it in a book about online dating because it shows an
example of the weird and wonderful ways social networking sites
can put you in touch with horny girls. It also gives a glimpse into
my emotional headspace when I was just starting my seduction
journey.

The seduction that follows happened in 2009, but we have to

flash back even further to 2004 to begin the tale.

So let’s rewind: when I was fifteen I went to a hippy music

festival in Canberra with my family. I was walking around with a
female friend who was bagging out these other chicks we saw by
calling them sluts. I said let's go meet them, and ended up hanging
out with them all night until five a.m. One of them, Charlotte, was
one of the coolest chicks I had met in ages and we connected all
night.
I had just watched Donnie Darko, and was running my
mysterious high school anti-hero rebel game on her, whispering
how lame the guys who were bagging her friend out to get in her
pants were etc. At that point in my life I had no idea how to pull the
trigger and try to kiss a girl and her friend was there the whole time

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so I spent the whole night "waiting for the right time to make a
move."
I’ve since learned there is no right time; you have to create it. At
one point as we wandered the festival, I went to the bathroom and
made a really big deal of letting them know that I wasn’t going to
take a piss, I was just blowing my nose, because I had some weird
thought that she might not want to give me a blow job later if I had
pissed out of my dick. As you can see, I was a very clueless fifteen
year old.

As the night dragged on and I became more frustrated that she

wasn’t kissing me, and I grew bitter because I could see the window
of hope closing. The clock was ticking. I ended up sulking at five
a.m., sitting with them in a gutter, huffing and sighing loudly.
“Well, we can either make out now” I mumbled bitterly, “or I’m
gonna go back to my tent”.
It was cold and frosty, dawn was approaching, and me stuffing
my hand into a packet of crisps while passive aggressively
muttering about the lack of kissing (while her friend sat right there
shivering) was not a very seductive moment.
She gave a blank stare, and looked into the distance. I got up in
a huff and walked off. As I walked away she called out
“WAIT!!? What if I never see you again?!” and I was crushed
that I hadn’t kissed her so I kept walking, but she ran after me and
gave me her bracelet. I mumbled
“Maybe I’ll look you up in the phone book or something”
pathetically before trudging off to face the eight-hour sleep-
deprived car ride home pondering what else I could have or should
have done. I went home all romanced up and had this wicked plan
that me and my friend would write a song about her, so that when I
got famous and it was on the radio she would call my agent and

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we'd get married. I never wrote the song.

Five years later I get this message on Facebook:

“Hey is this Liam who I met at Canberra five years ago? We hung
out all night and I gave you a little bracelet with safety pins...”
Mind = Blown.
I went in my room and I STILL had the bracelet! I put a photo on
Facebook of it and wrote:
“Do you believe in fate? Someone who gave me this bracelet
FIVE YEARS ago, who I met ONCE for ONE NIGHT at a music
festival tracked me down on Facebook.....stalker or destined true
love?”
Then I linked her and said
“hmm not sure if that was me check my photos.”
So then her friend Kate adds me on Facebook, she lived in
Canberra and was friends with Charlotte but moved to Melbourne
last year and we shared a mutual friend. She commented on the
photo too.

Kate Moon i actually witnessed the theft of this braclet BEFORE it was
bestowed upon this wolverine wannabe
January 3, 2009 at 5:34pm · Like

Ric Farnshazm ^ Stalker.

January 9, 2009 at 4:17pm · Like

Kate Moon its not stalking if its on facebook... you can call it 'networking'
or 'expanding your social circle'
January 9, 2009 at 4:34pm · Unlike · 1

Charlotte Darson Hmmm stalker I'd say:)

I casually chatted to Kate, not actively seducing her, just finding

out how she knew Charlotte (bracelet girl). I also talked to her on
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msn (an old chat program from the distant past, before Facebook
chat) and joked around with her, not pushing for anything.

This next part demonstrates a powerful lesson about reading the

signals when a girl is hinting at something.

A few days later I’m on Facebook at 9.30 p.m. and she says
'Hey loser why are you home on Friday night? My friend ditched
me, i really want to go out and drink’. We talk for a bit and I said
“well you can come over as long as you shut the fuck up while i
practice guitar. And dance like a dancing bear"
Her: "are you calling me fat?"
Me: "no just hairy"
We sent some more silly playful messages about dancing bears
and she goes
“come ONNNN just come out drinking” and I’m solid in my
resolve to stay in and practice guitar. I’m on a strict plan to only go
out on Saturday nights and practice guitar all the other nights, so I
was actually not keen, but she started selling me harder and
harder.
Her: "ive got booze! my house is cool!"
Me: "how cool out of 10? ive seen some cool houses"
Her: "13/10!! and im here all by myself"

I gradually let her sell me, and as she told me about the different
types of drink she has stashed and how close she lives to the
station, I became convinced. This process was partly me feeling out
to see how serious she was, and also not wanting to jump at the
first offer and seem desperate.
Many guys will take an initial advance from a girl, like her starting
a conversation with him at a party or texting him first, and then
become obsessed and come on too strong in response. Women

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know that they could go and proposition a man for sex if they want,
it’s not a very powerful or seductive fantasy for them if the man
just jumps at the first opportunity. The way I played it, she felt like
she won me over.
I said to myself
“Ok, I’m gonna miss my guitar practice tonight but I’ll kick myself
forever if I don’t roll the dice on this.” I tell her I’m coming in
twenty minutes, jump on the train still in my dirty skating clothes
and go meet her.
I meet her and she’s very bubbly, we walk to her place, have a
drink and go on the internet. She shows me videos of her ballet
dancing whilst she's covered in egg (surprisingly sexy!). By now
we're drunk and flirting, but I’m taking it really slow. I could feel
how tense she was, which was understandable given the fact that
we were strangers.

I kiss her neck, and notice that she doesn't have much of a
response. I just let it sit, and later when I throw her on the bed and
kiss her, she turns away and says
“Oh gross, your moustache is hairy” I don't respond, and she
mumbles ,
“also I’m kinda with this guy from Sydney.” I change subject, we
go back to drinking and watching more YouTube videos. She lies
down on her back to show me a breathing style she learned
studying the “Alexander Technique”. I take one look at her and say
“If you're gonna lay down like that I have to lay like this”, and climb
on top of her in missionary position.
She gets nervous and hesitates. Noticing her mood, I slowly lean
in and kiss her, before she goes mental; kissing me back, grabbing,
panting, pulling me closer. I keep the tension burning by pulling
away, and wrestling with her.

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 I get up and the mood breaks, we spend another hour chilling
with mental makeouts like that in between, we're wasted by this
point. We go to the park, and she drags me behind some trees and
pulls me to the ground to start making out. I finger her she loves it,
says
“I’m gonna go down on you” but then wants to move back inside,
spills her drink, and decides we're going back to her bed.
We get to her room...and I don’t have a fucking condom! Neither
does she. We just fool around, I suck her tits, then she decides
we're having a bath.
This was the first time I’d had a bath with a girl so I was
apprehensive but just rolled with it. She gets naked slowly and we
jump in. I rub her back and her tits, get her all soapy, I’m drunk so
I’m not really thinking straight. We go back to bed in our towels and
she tells me about a threesome she once had, gets really horny,
and suddenly wants to fuck with no condom. I say no way, she’s
begging, talking about morning after pill, pleading me.

It made me think
“Well, it seems that girls want sex more than boys.” She doesn’t
want me to finger her or go down on her because "it’s not the
same" (and she hadn’t shaved). I told her I’d fuck her in the ass,
she got freaked out in a curious way.
“That’s gross! What would it even feel like? I wonder if I’ll try it
one day…”. In the end she was jacking me off while we kissed, but
her hand was dry and I wanted her to suck it. Every time I brought
it up she’d just stop and turn away. I told her to get tissues so I
could jack off before we went to sleep but when she came back I
had no boner anyway.
These moments are the strange awkward sex situations that porn
doesn’t teach you about, and that you can only learn to relax into
through experience.

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 Becoming comfortable in all the weird
scenarios you will end up in if you have a
dynamic sex life is vital.

The worst bit was she was so drunk the whole time, I could tell
she was hardly gonna remember any of it. I kept asking her
“Will you remember this tomorrow?” I explained how it was like
living in Groundhog Day. I have all these experiences that I shared
with her, conversations I remember but she doesn't. Even when we
were talking about deep stuff, it’s all non-existent in her reality
now, like a mind wipe from Men in Black or Harry Potter. It’s
frustrating and depressing.

(Most of this story was written in 2009. Looking back 7 years

later in 2016 I can see how much this feeling was an early shadow
of my yearning for connection, wanting to feel like I had shared an
amazing experience with someone and bonded with them on a
deeper level, and feeling flat when I saw that wouldn’t happen.)

At this point in my life I hadn’t experienced much intimacy with

women so every scenario like this was very special to me. I never
had a girlfriend in high school so even a taste of spending time with
a girl getting to know her was heroin for my deprived young heart.
I hung out at her place in the morning for a while, just chilling
and joking around. I was saying silly stuff: we talked about soup
and I said
“How about horse ejaculate soup? Do you like that?” and she'd
just go “Yep! My favourite.”
These things are almost like a test from me, to see how she
reacts when I say edgy stuff about horse dicks and stuff. And she
passed the test by not being weird and joking along. The kind of

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person that can be chill about that is the kind of person that will be
okay with my job and weirdness.
Back then I was very confused about how to traverse the initial
dating stages. I wanted to see this chick again. I wrote in my diary
“i dont know whether to facebook or msg her or leave her to do it to
me?” Shows how much I still had to learn so early in my career.

Overall the best bit is I didn’t really do anything. She pursued

me through Facebook, and I would guess it was because of my
photo reel on Facebook. Having amazing photos on your Social
Media profiles is vital for this reason. Make it your goal to capture
the highlights of your life.

This story shows the power of Social Proof: a girl finding out that
other girls are interested in you instantly makes her more curious
and makes you seem more desirable. She had heard how Charlotte
felt about me and that I had left a lasting impression five years on,
she decided that I must have something about me that she wanted
to explore. It’s also so funny how typically Gen-Y it all was.
Facebook, friends of friends, confirming via txt...my parents'
generation could have never experienced this.
One of the pieces of Social Proof was two other girls on my
Facebook photo sarcastically joking about how I was “irresistible”
and so attractive to all women.

Bec: “ how could any red blooded female say no to Liam McRae?”

Bec and her friend had met me at a party when I was drunk and
ranting about this book I had just read called The Game and
boasting about my pickup abilities (even though then I had slept
with only two women at that point) and proclaiming that I was on
the path to become a master. I hooked up with one of them, Bec,

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once when we were drunk, and I was in the worst mental state
around her in the following months. I was always talking about my
successes (kissing a girl on the dance floor was a big deal to me
back then), trying to brag to her and her friend at gigs, tell stories
to make me look cool, trying to make Bec jealous and create an
illusion I was really successful with women.
Obviously someone who’s successful with women wouldn’t do all
that shit!
But the funny part is Kate read Bec’s sarcastic comments and
thought it was for real, increasing her attraction and curiosity! Kate
genuinely thought they were being serious and thought I had a fan
club of girls, when in reality I was a zoo animal and I had onlookers
watching the drunken car crash that was my bragging-filled social
life.
From a diary entry at the time in 2009:

“The worst mindset problem I have now is I’ll be seeing Bec and
her friend tonight at Jakes party, and my mind keeps imagining
these scenarios that involve me bragging to her about recent
success I’ve had, and I KNOW what the bad part of my brain is
trying to do. I catch it halfway through, first I thought “Oh I better
thank Bec when I see her for accidently helping me hook up with
Kate coz it was her Facebook comment that added to Kate’s
intrigue.” BLATANT EXCUSE TO BRAG!
And JUST then as I was writing this I thought “Oh yeah when I see
Bec I’ll tell her about the dream I had...while I was sleeping in
Kate’s bed.”
I hate this automatic impulse to drop those hints and jealousy
spikes.

Even though I don’t DO it anymore, my mind still runs the program

for it.

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 The other funny thing with the Bec is that I’m stuck in Hollywood
romance mindset with her...We only kissed once but I’m so
addicted to her. I just watched Friends where Ross and Rachael
realize they liked each other the whole time and get back together,
and I was like “WOOT THAT’S JUST LIKE ME AND BEC!! DESTINY!”

It was LAST MARCH that I was hooking up with her. Yep that’s right
almost a YEAR.

While I was drifting off to sleep I was imagining all the possible
ways we could hook up, pretty much every single one involving me
breaking down and 'telling her how I feel'. It’s like I STILL get
caught in that Hollywood idea that if only Bec knew how much I
liked her shed like me back.

HAHAHAHAHAH. All I can do is smile at the universe and evolution

for creating my body and mind this way.

It is intense reading this back five years later because I’ve seen so
many of my students play out the same patterns.
If you’re still in that place mentally, don’t worry, things will
improve, just approach more women.

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 Zara

I met a cute girl called Zara in Budapest. I added her on

Facebook. She accepted the friend request. I looked at her photos
and realized it was the wrong girl: I had added some other
Hungarian girl who had the same name. Moments later I got this
very enthusiastic string of messages from my new friend:

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147
148
 Notice how when I didn’t write back at 4:57 p.m. she wrote to me
again at 7:02 p.m.

We texted, and ended up meeting at a central bar that is in the

middle of a park. I was calm and relaxed, knowing that if she was
anything like her online personality she would be bubbly, fun,
nervous and a bit over-excited.
She was surprisingly calm and we drank a beer in the park and
chatted about what we’d been up to that week. I gave her a hug
and made sure to pull her in from the hips, setting the tone early
that we would be sexual with each other. I told her I was hungry
and that I knew a great place to eat (which was actually just a late-
night Kebab shop, conveniently around the corner from my place).

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 I got the food and suggested we go upstairs to eat. Once we got
inside, I remembered that the house was filled with a random
assortment of students, coaches and the Israeli/Uzbekistani camera
team who were yelling at each other in Russian. I sat with her at
the table in the midst of this chaos, while James tried to organize all
the students for that night's session. After I ate I said
“Let’s take a bath” and went with her into the bathroom. She was
clearly a bit uncomfortable with the situation, but I didn’t really see
any other option seeing as the house was packed. We were half
undressed for the bath when I tried to kiss her, but she pulled
away.
“Sorry. I can’t do this…” she said. I understood.
Trying to force a sexual situation when there were ten random
dudes just on the other side of the door wasn’t that sexy for me
either, so I was a bit relieved to get dressed and go outside with
her for a smoke.

One of the students who’s a very friendly socially outgoing guy

got chatting with her while I asked James if I could come late to the
coaching session that night.
“You’re lucky we’ve got enough coaches to cover the students
tonight. Some of the students are on dates so we’re with a smaller
group. It’s destiny.”
Gradually the students filtered out and I was left alone with Zara.
We went into another room, and lay on the bed. She was demure
and giggly but crawled towards me and ran her hands through my
beard. We started kissing and she started to tell me
“I’m not the kind of girl that…”
“It’s fine” I told her, “I’m not gonna judge you. We’re gonna have
fun, it’s no problem.”
She instantly relaxed and we kissed more as we undressed each
other. She had the stereotypical Hungarian body that I’ve seen on

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many girls there: short, B-cup tits, extremely soft skin, and a
bubble butt that tucks into a really tight athletic back. So from her
slender neck down to her lower back is the softest skin, and then
there is a groove in her lower back giving her a cute dimple just
above her ass, which is big and round like a peach. It’s the kind of
ass you can grab firmly in the whole of your hand.
We were naked and I was on top of her, kissing her neck while
rolling on the condom. I slipped inside her and she thrust her hips
forward just slightly, pushing my cock in deeper but keeping it at
halfway. I matched her pace and slowed down a bit, allowing her to
get used to this level of penetration before going any deeper. I let
her pull me in deeper while our lips met softly. After slowly sliding
in and out like this, getting faster as we kissed harder, she grabbed
my neck and flipped me over.
“Now I’m on top!” she said. “I’m gonna rape you... and there’s
nothing you can do about it!” she went on while riding me. She
pinned my hands down and moved her ass back and forth. It was
insane, she would let my dick just out of her pussy, but still rubbing
against the soft lips, and then slowly slide herself back onto me,
driving me crazy. I saw the fire in her eyes and she could see the
power she had over my pleasure.
“I’m in control. I'm gonna make you cum” she grinned. I let her
lead the fantasy which she was clearly enjoying, as she kept my
arms pinned back and slammed her ass faster and faster down on
my cock all the way to the balls. I started to twitch and squirm as I
felt it building, and I’ll never forget the maniacal look on her face as
I orgasmed.

We lay on the bed talking about the scene that had just played
out, and she told me she’d had bad experiences with men before.
She didn’t go into detail but it was clear she had been in some kind
of abusive situation. For her the fantasy of having control was a

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very powerful one because it was a way for her to heal old wounds
and create a new story about who she was in relation to men.
When a woman opens up to you on this level it’s your job as a
seducer to hold space for her to explore these parts of her sexuality
without judgment. This can be a very sensitive and vulnerable
moment for her and if she’s chosen you as the one to guide her
through this experience, you should be grateful. It’s a very rare
scenario and every experience you have like this allows you to
understand women on a deeper level.

Caressing down her back and feeling her plump ass got me hard
again, and I started licking up from the back of her calves to her
butt cheeks. She was giggling like crazy and we began another
wrestling match, and this time she took on a more submissive role
and propped herself into the doggystyle position, beckoning me
closer, inviting me in. I fucked her a lot harder this time, giving her
ass a good slamming.
What an insane situation! From a random accidental Facebook
add. It just goes to show, every approach is worth it. Even the ones
that don’t go anywhere build your confidence and put you in a flow
state. And sometimes lead to insane situations like this one.

When we were done I took some sexy photos of her, and she said
“Cool, am I going to be one of those hot Instagram bitches now?
Just don’t put it on my Facebook” with a knowing look.
I walked her to the station and we left the city the next day.
We’ve been in touch since then. Facebook is great for staying in
touch with girls. It’s also great for scenarios like this.
Thank you social media! Keep in mind that this was a
combination of many factors, one of them being a freak accident.

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 Factors I had control over:

- Being on travelling the world for my career, (as opposed to

stuck working 60-hour weeks in a male dominated industry.
Lifestyle design!)
- Approaching the first girl who shared the same name with
her! Even though I never saw that girl again, it still lead to
sex in a round-about way.
- Writing back without being too keen or scaring her off, but
recognizing that she was already very invested and that I
needed to move fast on it.
- Having good Facebook photos (again!).
- Having built up the seduction skill to take her back to my
place and fuck her within hours of starting the date by
leading the date confidently to my place, dealing with all
the social awkwardness of the ten random men in the
house, and knowing to pull the trigger and make a move.
- Being able to be chill about her initial rejection in the
bathroom and read it for what it was “Not here, not right
now, but maybe later”.

Things I had no control over:

- The pure freak chance that a girl I approached had the

same name as this girl.
- Her being single and excited to meet a new guy
- Her being free to meet me in the four-hour window I had
before I left the city.

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 So the point I'm trying to illustrate is that while I did get an
extremely lucky break by accidentally adding a girl who was
basically ready to fuck from the first message, I still had to make
the approach that created it all, and then guide the whole seduction
forward. It wasn’t like she just turned up in my bed and sat on my
dick. She just made it easy for me to lead it back to my place so we
could both get what we wanted.

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 The Office Fire

This story has nothing to do with online dating but I wanted to

include it because it gives you an insight into the kinds of fun
adventures that you can stumble into if you live a socially free life.
Your journey becomes more interesting and exciting once you start
following your social impulses.

I was walking to my car at 3am on the way home from coaching,

and saw a cute woman looking lost. I walked past and didn’t talk to
her due to a bunch of excuses. “I don’t wanna creep her out”
“There’s no point talking to women at 3am” “It’s not going to go
anywhere”.

Then I think “What if she’s lost?” “What if she’s a tourist just

waiting to meet a guy?” “What if she wants to come home with me?
I could be walking past some hot sex.”
“Are you a tourist?” I ask her warmly, and she smiles and says no,
and told me her name was Amy. We start chatting and she says
“I’m out here because there’s a fire!”
“What do you mean?”
“Well it’s my office party upstairs, but there is smoke all through
the second floor. There is a fire!”

She seemed way too relaxed. I was taken aback by her relative
calmness- if there really was a fire, why was she the only one
downstairs? Where was the fire brigade? Why couldn’t I see any
smoke or fire alarms?
After getting off the phone from someone who was at the party, she
told me to come upstairs and have a look. As we walked down the
hall I started to get uneasy- where was she taking me? I didn’t like

155
the fact that the building didn’t look like an office at all. I didn’t like
the long hallway and harsh lighting. And I certainly didn’t like the
way that she skipped along ahead of me by a few steps, stringing
me a long in a sing song girly voice like a seductive siren, taking me
towards the fire but not seeming afraid of said fire… was I about to
me mugged by her heavy handed male accomplices?

I kept my guard up and cautiously followed her up the stairs, where

she showed me what all the fuss was about: there did seem to be a
sizeable amount of smoke billowing out from 2nd floor. I asked her
if we should go have a look, but she said to come upstairs where
everyone else was so we could find out what was going on.
We emerged out onto the roof, to the scene of a party that was still
raging despite the obvious fire danger. There was about 15 people
on the roof all in high spirits, couples were making out left and right
of me, and our entrance garnered a volley of cat calls. “Who’s the
guy you picked up?” her co-workers yelled warmly.

It turned out they were a social media web development company

operating out of the first floor, and as the French designer told me,
“the second and terd floorz ‘ave been abaddoned.” (The 2nd and
3rd floors have been abandoned.)
The smoke was also explained: since the building was due to be
demolished soon, they had got a bity rowdy downstairs and
someone had sprayed the fire extinguisher all through the 2nd
floor, leaving a misty haze that looked like smoke.

Amy was the boss, and clearly the party pooper. She went on and
on about the fire for about 10 minutes in a cycle that went
something like this:
“Guys I think there’s a fire!”

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“No Amy. We already explained that. It’s just fire extinguisher
discharge.”
“But why is there smoke?”
“It’s not smoke it’s…”
“And the sign said we shouldn’t be on the roof, there’s asbestos out
here! I can feel it in my mouth!”
“No that’s just the fire extinguisher mist you’re breathing in.”
“Okay…so are you sure there’s no fire?”
“No Amy. We already explained that. It’s just fire extinguisher
discharge.”
“But.. was it to put out a fire? What if there’s a fire? I’m worried…”

Repeat cycle.

They literally had almost that exact conversation, 9 or 10 times in a

row. The first four times it was funny but then I got bored and
started chatting to the other party goers.

“You poor thing, being dragged off the street into Amy’s mess…very
chivalrous of you though!” one of them said.
“Uh are you serious? This is awesome! One minute I’m walking to
my car, the next I’m partying on a rooftop with a bunch of friendly
strangers after helping Amy solve the fire mystery. Sure beats
driving home.”

After chatting with the team and getting to know them, someone
offered me a beer, which I was told to help myself to from
downstairs. The French guy and some goth chick came with me,
and showed me the carnage that had already been wreaked on the
2nd floor. There was still fire extinguisher smoke clouding the air
and the floor was covered in a fine layer of the mist floating at
ankle level. There was empty beer bottles everywhere, and fresh

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beers were waiting in a series of sinks. “Eet used to be a ‘air
salon…so we ‘ave converted deez sinks into a beer ‘older!” (It used
to be a hair salon… so we have converted these sinks into a beer
holder.)

The energy of the party and the realization that this room would be
demolished soon was beginning to dawn on me. “So wait… I don’t
even need a bottle opener do I. I can just use this window sill to
crack my beer!” I told Jean Claude. He nodded and I cracked my
beer open, tearing the window sill to shreds and accidently
smashing the mouthpiece in the process.

“Can’t drink out of this broken bottle…looks like it’s time for a beer
shower!” I yelled, and shook the beer up and started shaking the
froth everywhere. My reckless mood was infectious and the other
partygoers who had trickled downstairs in search of booze and
drama were inspired. They were milling around, and I could sense
they wanted some action.
“Hey…we can just smash all these bottles right here, can’t we!”
“Yeah! It doesn’t matter!” they said.

CRASH! I flung my bottle at the wall and it exploded, and helped

myself to another fresh beer.

A few other people joined in, hurling bottle at the walls and floor,
and spirits were high as we danced around, our yelling and
whooping adding to the symphony of broken glass cascading around
us.

One couple to the left of me started making out.

“Who was that guy I just kissed?” she asked afterwards, in a haze. I
liked the energy of this party.

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One of the more bossy women from the office entered the room and
said “Hey! What’s going on! Liam, you are a menace! I think you
need to go upstairs right now, where you can party a bit more
safely.”

“Yeah…well I think YOU need to join in the fun and smash some
bottles!” I yelled, throwing another bottle at the wall.
“Uh…okay!” she replied, as I handed her one.
“I’ve always wanted to do this!” she giggled, and sent her bottle
sailing across the room, bouncing off the table before exploding
against the wall.
“WOOO! AWESOME! YOU RULE!” I yelled. “Let’s all do it!”

I lined up 10 bottles on the table and said

“Shooting gallery everyone! Grab your weapons and FIRE!” The
room went berserk as everyone who was milling around picked up a
bottle and flung it at the wall at the same time. The adrenaline of
being able to be so destructive without consequences was going
to my head, and a pulled open a broom cupboard…and discovered
about 50 fluorescent light bulbs. Goldmine.
“Light saber fights!” I yelled, tossing one to Jean Claude, and we
had a sword duel before us both sending them flying into the wall
like spears, where they exploded into tiny piece of water glass.

The fun could only last so long, and the concerned tone of Amy the
manager cut through the excitement in the air like a knife. “Who is
breaking glass down here?!” Everyone fell silent as she ruined the
fun by scolding me and telling me to leave.
“Hey, I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. I thought this whole place is
getting demolished soon anyway? Can’t I stay?”
“No, you have to leave.”

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“Ok. I had my fun. Thanks for the beer. Bye, guys, I’m getting
kicked out! I love you all!” I yelled after my co-conspirators in the
destruction party club.
“Bye Liam!” they called out after me, sad to see me go.

I walked back to my car thinking “What a crazy way to end the

night. Free booze, inspiring a whole office to trash their own second
floor…imagine if I hadn’t talked to her and missed out on all that
fun!?”

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 Shae Matthews Chronicles 1: Bratislava

This next set of stories is written by my friend and resident Inner

Game Wizard Shae Matthews while he was touring Europe. He was
recently single and stepping out of his role as monogamous
boyfriend and into a new role as a free, travelling man, or in his
words: Romantic Adventurer. I thought he had some interesting
perspectives and figured they also provide some insight into the
weird world of online dating.
The first is a crazy seduction, where he chatted to her for a few
days on a dating app and then had her come straight to his
apartment. Home delivered sex! Dating 3.0, download a girl from
your phone directly into your bed! For once, this fantasy actually
came true.

My name is Shae, and here are some stories about online dating
from my travels. I was in Belgrade on Eurotour so I decided I
wanted to go online while I was on the tour bus. I was using OK
Cupid because Tinder wasn’t working in this smaller city.
I met a 21-year-old Serbian girl. She had some very naïve and
innocent looking photos. We were texting for a few days. She
opened up to me fairly quickly about how disappointed she was with
guys, how Serbian guys let her down, how she felt used and abused
by men, and how she wanted someone she could feel safe and
relaxed around. Someone who could appreciate her. She didn’t
want to have any sexual partners who were locals because she was
afraid of ostracisation and judgment. Serbia is a conservative
country so sexuality is very repressed.
I was intriguing to her as a foreigner, and I represented
something that was out of the norm: an adventurer, a romantic,
and Sugar Daddy who could look after her and show her a good
time. Her being 21 and me 35 added to this dynamic. My attitude

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was also very happy-go-lucky, non-needy, with a non-attached
mind frame. This was because I had been getting plenty of sex from
other girls on tour. I wasn’t needy for sex. I wasn’t trying to get
anything from her particularly; I was open to exploring what might
happen. I was offering her excitement.
“Come out and party with me and my friends” I texted her. She
was curious but apprehensive. “Maybe… I want to bring my friend.
But she is nervous” she wrote back.
I offered to pay for her taxi, and told her it would be a whole
group of us meeting so it would be in in a club, low pressure. But
she couldn’t convince her friend. She also lived in an outer suburb
so it was a bit of a mission for to come in. So I just let it go.
We kept talking the next day, a few casual messages back and
forth. I was balancing complimenting her, qualifying her, asking her
questions, asking her about her life and what she was interested in,
telling her she was cute. I kept the connection going. I invited her
out again but it was the same thing again, she didn’t want to come
because her friend wouldn’t come with her.

Eventually after the fourth day of this so I decided to roll the

dice. She had told me she liked being spoiled, so I decided to see if
I could play up the Sugar Daddy fantasy a bit. I wrote “How about I
pay for your taxi and give you 50 Euros if you come over.”
As is often the case in those countries, she didn’t want to feel like
a gold digger or a prostitute. Most Eastern European women are
very proud, as myself and all our crew found when girls on
minimum wage still insisted on paying for their own dinners. She
said “I don’t want money… but I like that you look after me. I want
gift. Buy me shoes that make me feel pretty and special.”
The joke is that I ended up just giving her the money for the
shoes later. We both knew this was really just an excuse to give

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context to us meeting, so focusing on the details wasn’t so
important, more the emotion of what it represented.
It was a bit of resistance that I acknowledged, sidestepped and
re-framed. She was happy with that, also in part because it
demonstrates social awareness and empathy for her situation. I was
solutions focused. I didn’t just blatantly ask for sex, I created a
seductive fantasy that she could get excited about. She was my
little princess and I was spoiling her. There was obviously the
enchanting undertone of prostitution, which some women find
alluring to explore, as represented in movies like ‘Pretty Woman.’
Many men in this situation would just get frustrated, be blunt and
kill the mood with something like “Come on just come over NOW! I
know you want to fuck!”

She arrived at around 10:30pm at night. I knew it was a huge

thing for a 21 year old girl to go across the city to come to meet a
total stranger, so I was very conscious about making her feel
relaxed in what was undoubtedly out of her comfort zone. She knew
she was coming for some expression of sex or intimacy, and on
some level had come mentally prepared to be objectified. It was
part of the fantasy for her.
She got out of the taxi, this cute brunette in a sparkly dress
standing in the street all coy and naïve. I wanted to take her
somewhere cool but there wasn’t really anything happening in our
suburb so I took her to a hamburger joint and we got a feel for each
other’s vibe while we ate. I wanted to give her connection time
before we went to the bedroom. She told me about her hobbies and
her family.
I took her into the house and she was a bit surprised to see a
lounge room full of people: James was there with his Serbian
girlfriend, Liam and Tony and Jess were all there. It was a bunch of

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cool funky hipsters hanging out on their adventure, which she was
excited to be part of.
I took her straight upstairs, and she got a bit paranoid and self-
conscious. She wasn’t sure about what was happening, she didn’t
want to feel like a whore. I went downstairs to borrow lube off
Liam, and she grabbed me by the arm and hissed “Tell them my
name is Lanka, not Branka!” through clenched teeth. I chuckled to
myself and humored her. “Ok, no problem… Lanka.”

“I like to dance in clubs, tease boys… make them jealous” she

had mentioned earlier, so I got her to put on some crazy Eastern
European Techno and dance for me. It was a great way for her to
relax and open up a bit. I sat back and enjoyed playing the role of
the pervy observer, the older man she was teasing, and she was
the provocative little girl.
She danced closer to me and we got into each other’s space. She
started to dirty dance all over me, losing herself in the music. Our
clothes came off and we started to fuck. She was fairly
inexperienced. I wasn’t expecting her to be an awesome lover, I
knew it was a new experience for her so I was holding space for her
to explore herself. She was used to just being fucked like a piece of
meat so I framed myself as her teacher to show her a different side
of sex. She was very excited to learn how to be a better lover.
This allowed me to engage her a lot more, move her into different
positions and show her how to enjoy sex more than just being
fucked as if she wasn’t really there. She wasn’t used to having a
lover that could sustain good levels of pleasure for her. I made her
cum many times and gave her a lot of sexual fulfillment, which I
think was great for her.
We fucked for an hour or two, had a nap, woke up, fucked again.
She was really shy about sucking my dick but she still gave it a go.
She was really sweet.

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 We spent a whole night and the next day together, fucking and
enjoying being together. It was an opportunity to take it to a new
emotional space for her. I wasn’t just some guy that had paid her
$50 to fuck her now, all of a sudden she had a much more powerful
connection with me. She was really happy with this, she bought me
dinner this time, wanted to spend time with me.

“You are crazy” her friends told her. “Don’t go to see him again.
It was slutty what you did with him.” She came over anyway, which
I thought was really courageous and cool. She had obviously seen
the benefit in having an adventure and hanging out with me while
she could, learning about sex and a different model of masculinity.
She’d had a desire before we met to be appreciated, to be seen
for the women she was deep down, and I was giving her that. She
was ecstatic to be receiving that kind of interaction. It was cool, a
very chill easygoing time between fucking each others' brains out.
She wrote to me later telling me she was very fulfilled by the whole
thing. She was obviously sad I was going but I had opened her eyes
to a new way of interacting with men.

“I wish more men in my country were like you…” she told me. I
don’t think it’s so much of a cultural thing, or that Serbian men are
particularly a certain way. There are unconscious men in every
culture. It’s more a sign of how many women are out there with
their fantasies unfulfilled. The beauty of this is, if you learn to
master this art, you can become that guy without much
competition. A combination of tenderness and strength is all it
takes.
I was supportive of her. I told her she should go and find
another cool boyfriend and just enjoy herself, that she deserves a
guy who will take care of her, not use her, take her on holidays and

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do fun things with her. She told me she had met a guy like that
recently and ended up dating him after I left.

I'm still in touch with her now! I hope to see her again at some
point in future when our paths crossed.

Many young women like the fantasy of having a casual adventure

with a guy. They’re really open to this idea of having an amazing
seduction; they would be open to fucking him within an hour. The
reason they don’t do it isn’t because they’re prudes or because they
hate men or because of feminism, it’s because the alternative dark
side of this fantasy is really horrible. Getting themselves into some
situation where some guy turns out to be really needy and weird or
pushy and aggressive and they’re not able to leave. Of course
they’re gonna be more cautious next time, they don’t want to rush
into a situation like that. She took a risk by coming to see me.
She’s stuck in a Madonna/Whore culture. The polarity is very
strong there. They’re often really valued for their purity and their
virginity, and yet all the guys there want a woman to give them sex
and aren’t very sensitive to their needs. It’s a paradox.
This wild passionate lover is there inside every woman waiting to
be released. Are you gonna be one of the assholes that perpetuates
and justifies their fears or the guy that unleashes their passion?

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 Shae Matthews Chronicles 2: Budapest

I was in Budapest and arranged to meet this girl I had been

chatting with on Tinder at a juice bar. Other girls that week had not
shown up to dates, so I wasn’t in a rush to get there on time, and
when she didn’t send a confirmation text I thought she wouldn’t
show up. I arrived ten minutes late and she texted me asking where
I was: she was at a different juice bar! So I ran across town and
ended up being fifty minutes late, leaving us with only half an hour.
When I first met her I kissed her on the cheek, and we walked
down the street arm in arm. At the end I leaned in to kiss her, but
she pulled away.
“You’re not gonna give me a kiss?” I asked her with a grin.
“Later” she shot back with a sly cheeky smile, and walked off.
She later told me this was a powerful moment where I separated
myself from other guys by showing I had the confidence to make a
move. She was sick of guys taking her on dates but not touching
her. Even though she rejected the kiss attempt, it still had the
desired effect on her.

My seduction style is also influenced heavily by Zen meditation.

I'm not overtly trying to be anything: funny, sexual, cool. I'm just
relaxed. This led to us talking more about what we wanted via text.
She wanted to know who I was, how I operated, so I started to
introduce ideas like:

- I don’t want to be owned by anybody

- I don’t want to own anybody
- I'm a free loving man
- I'm an adventurer
- I’m here to explore and have fun and see what happens

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 There was a bit of back and forth about what this meant. There is
a subtle but strong distinction between this and saying ‘I just wanna
fuck you no strings attached’. I’m framing the experience as
something fun, positive, enriching and rewarding for both of us. She
was obviously at the point in her life where she wanted that too.
I was travelling after that date but we kept in touch. Our texts
started getting very sexual, talking about hooking up and how fun it
was going to be. She agreed to spend the night with me when I
returned. It was so relaxed, we went straight to my room and
fucked, and she had such a powerful energy coming out of her
vagina. It was pulsating around my dick.
I said “I’m not into putting limitations on people so if you want to
explore other people that’s totally cool with me.” She would
cheekily say things like “Which number girl am I in your harem? I
like the idea that I'm part of your harem. I will be your Budapest
girl! I like being your exotic lover.”

We had a really strong connection and planned a trip to a

Hungarian lake later in the month. It was great spending time with
her, and it would only get deeper. It surprised me because I wasn’t
expecting it but I developed very strong feelings for her. I feel
really comfortable around her, probably the most solid connection
I’ve felt with a girl since my last big breakup. I’ve been with around
twenty girls since then so it was nice to have those butterflies back.
I would Skype with her every now and then. It’s like we’re having a
long term relationship but it's an open relationship. We can both be
very relaxed and honest about it and there’s freedom to do
whatever we want to do. She basically doesn’t give a fuck if I'm
with other girls, she just doesn’t want to know about it. It’s crazy to
think we met on such a fickle dating app like Tinder and ended up

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with such a deep connection. Love is everywhere if you look hard
enough.

After a few months of “I miss yous’” on Skype we came up with a

plan to meet in Abu Dhabi. She is an airhostess with company
points so I ended up getting a free trip over to see her! It was a
weird holiday, not being able to touch her in public, but we made up
for it in the bedroom.
She loves deep throating me. She’s just in that state where she
worships me, and I worship her. Beyond worshipping each other as
people we’re really honoring the masculine and feminine energies in
each other. And it seems that our particular energies have a strong
pleasurable polarity.
Our sex opened up to a tantric level towards the end. It was very
empathic and sensual as opposed to just animal fucking. Porn
shows you that sex is only about ramming girls like a jackhammer,
but there is so much more depth to sex beyond this. I would much
rather have slow, hard, connected sex that makes me want to
explode in every direction for a few hours as opposed to pumping
the fuck out of her porn-style for ten minutes.
I look forward to the next time our paths cross!

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 Shae Matthews Chronicles 3: Prague

I chatted with this girl about simple stuff. She lived in a town just
outside Prague, and was very flirty from the get go.
“There’s not much to do here. It’s boring. I need some
excitement in my life” she told me. She agreed to my invitation to
come party with me in Prague that weekend. She didn’t show up.
The next weekend after that she wrote to me.
“I’m coming in to meet friends for a birthday, let’s meet before I
have to go to the party for a quick drink”.
I took her to this giant café with gothic gargoyles outside, and
beautiful paintings, hermetic pillars and gold highlights in it, which
she had a weird connection to.
“My father said he would take me here when I graduated, he did
not. I’m glad you take me here.” We shared a piece of cake and
walked down the street, and realized it was close to my house.
“You should come chill at my place for a bit” I suggested.
“I don’t know…” she started slyly. “I know you… bad boy” she
finished with a grin. I pulled her in for a playful kiss, which left her
excited, flustered, and nervous.
“Ok…I come with you to your house. Just quickly. Not long” she
said. We just hung out, watched some YouTube and had a cuddle
on the bed before she had to go to her birthday dinner. “I’ll see you
again soon” she said with a chirpy smile.
We kept texting each other, and she told me she was coming
back the next weekend to hang out with me. We went to the
supermarket and had fun picking different stuff out together, then
took it back to my place to eat the snacks and watch a movie.
I set up a bath for her and gave her a massage. Once she was
super relaxed, I showed her my surprise: a sexy cat-theme lingerie
outfit. She enjoyed getting into it and playing out that character.

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 She had a tight gymnast's body, very athletic and strong. Really
sexy, and she knew how to move. Watching her crawl towards me
across the bed in the cat suit, seeing the angles of her toned body
contrasted in the pale light was so erotic. I could flip her any way I
wanted. I had her legs around her head, slamming her perfect little
pussy, ramming away at her. She slid into doggystyle and her tight
ass was a testament to her hardcore gym training. It was very
athletic, and after we just collapsed into each other and watched
movies.
It was a simple seduction, and if nothing else, it again showed me
how many women out there are dying for a powerful masculine
energy in their life.

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 Shae Matthews Chronicles 4: Bangkok

I had a 48-hour layover in Bangkok and matched on Tinder with a

Spanish/Moroccan girl. We went to dinner together at a place close
to me. I could feel that she was so starved for male touch affection
and love. She had internalized this sad idea about her love life.
“I'm gonna be single forever. I’m never gonna find the guy I want
to be with. I’m a hard working girl, that’s what’s more important I
guess.”
I gave her a new perspective.
“You deserve to be loved, touched, have a man and have fun.”
I started encouraging her to be open to that. It was an energetic
urge coming from my body to heal her, physically and emotionally.
To let her know she was beautiful and desirable and that she should
be loved.
At eleven p.m. she told me she had to leave and I said
“Cool, wanna just come up to my apartment quickly and listen to
some music?”
“Yep, okay” she agreed.
As soon as we got in the door I pulled her in close and kissed her
neck and she flowed with it instantly. Things escalated quickly and
soon we were feeling each other’s bodies pressed against each
other, hot and slippery in the Bangkok heat.
“Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to be a woman!”
she told me.

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 Shae Matthews Chronicles 5: Tantric Persian

This girl first popped up in my Melbourne Tinder feed as a headless

body with giant boobs. Instantly I was suspicious and told her
“I can’t even see your face, it’s not easy to relate to someone
faceless.”

I often casually chat with girls and quickly ask them what they’re
looking for on Tinder. Usually they say “I’m just here to have some
fun” or “Just looking.” I tell them “Cool, I’m here to have some fun
too” and start qualifying them to find the ones who want the same
thing.
She said:
“I’m a really busy girl, I have a lot on my plate, I study a lot, I don’t
get a chance to socialize a lot. I just want to get laid on a regular
basis when I feel like it, and it want it to be with someone who I
find fun to be around. I don’t need a lot of lovers I just want one
good lover who’s on the money for me.”

This surprised me; most girls will not be this blunt even if that is
what they’re looking for. We were off to a great start. She started
sending me photos of her being a cute little Persian princess. She’s
22 and I’m 35, so there was an element of her wanting a mature
experienced guy too.

“If you want, you can come and hang out. It’d be nice to meet you
in person.” Again, she blew my mind by saying “Sure. I’ll come to
your place at six p.m. tonight.”

I was there with my friend, and we just chilled on the couch

chatting. She was very relaxed for someone who had just entered a

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strange house with two dudes there. My friend had recently come
back from a crazy adventure in Japan, and the whole energy of the
evening was “I’m not some typical boring suburban dude, I have
interesting friends and live a stimulating life.”

The vibe I put out was “easygoing, worldly guy who is friendly to be
around.”

She rolled a joint and we smoked on the roof, then I offered her a
massage. I took her down to my room, and as she’s sitting there
she says
“I just realized, if you’re going to give me a massage I’m going to
have to take all my clothes off.”
“True” I told her, “but only if you want. We can go back upstairs if
you don’t feel comfortable.” This attitude makes girls very relaxed,
and is part of what allows her to sleep with me within an hour of
meeting me.

“Nah… it’s cool” she said, and stripped down. I wasn’t being pervy
or lecherous, just gave her a nice slow oily massage. She was
expecting that we’d fuck, but she didn’t know it would get this
sensual.

I was teasing her like crazy, walking around the table letting my
crotch rub against her hands. She was breathing heavily and I could
feel the heat coming from her body. I got naked too as the massage
got more sexual, putting my cock in her hands, pulling her away,
massaging near the edge of her pussy but not quite touching it. She
tried to suck my dick and I said
“No. You’re not allowed yet” to keep the pressure building. I
started rubbing her pussy lips and made her cum with my hands,

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then allowed her to suck my dick. She blew me for what felt like
eternity, then we had crazy sex for hours, then collapsed.

She wanted a Sunday night stress release. She hadn’t been laid in a
while, and probably not properly ever. She said
“It was awesome to be with a dude who knows how to work my
body. I always had a fantasy to be massaged by a naked guy.” Her
parents were conservative Muslims so I was giving her this outside
experience.

A few weeks later I was staying in a forest house out in the

mountains and I took her there for a crazy sex romp. I set up a
whole sexual adventure with her. We cuddled on the couch for a bit,
then I blindfolded her and told her if she felt uncomfortable with
anything she was more than welcome to tell me to stop or do
something different, but that she was sure to love what I had in
store.

I stripped her naked in front of the fire place and lay her down on
the soft sheepskin rug with some spiritual shamanic music on in the
background, and smudged her with sage smoke. I gave her a
bathrobe and led her out of the cottage to the misty trail where
light rain was falling. We walked down the garden path hand in
hand, she was still blindfolded and following my lead.

She had no idea what was going to happen, adding to the

excitement of the surprise. I had set up a tipi in a clearing with a
roaring fire already built inside, so it was warm. I had a massage
table, a nice cushion area, incense burning; she was taken into this
love room. I took off her blindfold and her robe, teased her, kissed
her, ran my hands all over her and then put her on the table for a
massage with coconut oil I had warmed earlier.

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After the full body massage I pulled out the sex toys, including a
massage wand, a dildo, and a whip. I started playing with her, and
a combination of the setting, her mood, and the toys made her cum
at least ten times before I got her off the table. We made sensual
love on the bed that gradually got more rough, caveman style.

“Choke me! Pull my hair!” she screamed out as I fucked her harder.
After we both came we took a break to smoke a joint, then went
back to the cottage and fucked on the balcony while she watched
the stars.

And that concludes Shae’s contribution to the book. The main thing
you’ll notice through his stories is he’s creating a vivid fantasy for
the woman to step into. He’s leading these seductions with clarity,
but at the same time gives the woman space to relax into them;
he’s not pushy. He’s also leading her through her senses: vibrant
scents, a range of physical temperatures, escalating from a
comfortable nurturing energy right up to an aggressive passionate
thrusting.

Imagine the impression these elaborate seductions would leave on

the woman? She will cherish these moments forever.

There is one more funny story he told me:

Gay men will sometimes add themselves to Tinder as women and

roll the dice on converting a straight guy.

Shae had a guy write this to him:

“Hey man. Wanna come over and double team this girl with me? We
can spitroast her.”

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Shae asked for proof and the guy sent a picture.
“Oh by the way, I haven’t told her yet. But she’s a party girl she’s
gonna love it”
“I dunno man. Sounds a bit sketchy to me…” he wrote back.
“Well I dunno if she’s gonna come or not… but either way wanna
just come over and get drunk… and I can give you a blowjob?”
“Nah man”
“Come on…I’ll pay you $100”
“Hmm…nah”
“Ah well… wanna just come over and get drunk anyway?”
“Nah…”

When Shae told me this story he was incredulous at this strange

proposal, but I said to him “Dude, of course. YOU swiped him, YOU
kept chatting to him, YOU continued to chat with him after he
propositioned you. From his point of view you totally look like a bi-
curious guy who just needs an excuse to experiment!”

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 Tinder in Ireland

They say necessity is the mother of invention. I proved this to

myself yet again, stumbling on a new and weird way I could
sexually get off.
After James’s two-day bender of a thirty-fifth birthday in
Budapest, I took a flight to visit my family in Ireland for a week. I
predicted that I wouldn’t get a chance to approach or date any girls
due to the busy social schedule and the many cups of teas I would
have to drink with uncles, aunties and cousins. Instead, I swiped
everyone on Tinder. I asked every girl if they had the picture
sharing app Snapchat which allows you to send self-destructing
photos that can only be viewed for ten seconds.
This means that girls can indulge in sending you sexy naked
photos, safe in the knowledge that you won’t post them online. It
really took off in 2014. Some of the girls even displayed their
Snapchat ID on their Tinder profiles. Countless swipes later, I had
amassed a steady rotation of four or five girls that I was sending
regular Snapchats to.
I would start with a crotch shot, fully clothed, to see what
reaction I would get. Usually they would send back a fully clothed
suggestive face back, and this was the encouragement I needed to
slowly take it off.
I would be laying in bed, holding my dick at an angle so the
photo just showed it hinting from behind my hand. Gradually they
would get more and more graphic as the girls encouraged me. Most
of the time the girls wouldn’t even send back a sexy photo, just
their face, sometimes just some sexual text.
But I didn’t care. They were looking at my cock, and wanted to
see more! This was such a massive turn on for me, and throughout
the week I realized why. In our society there is so much shame

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around being a man. Men and women are both made to feel shame
from many social institutions and conventions, and one of the
stereotypes that men are shamed for is ‘creepy sex addict pervert’.
This stereotype paints male lust as something disgusting, filthy and
depraved. We have the iconic image of the man in the trench coat,
walking through a park flashing his genitals at people who don’t
want to see them.
So here I was, stepping into the same role of ‘man displaying his
genitals’ but in this case the girls were not horrified, disgusted, or
shocked, they were excited and wanted to see more! What an
amazing context flip. In almost every other scenario, showing your
cock to a stranger is not okay. But here I was, getting enthusiastic
rewards for doing exactly that. Amazing paradigm shift.

I didn’t even care if I found the girls attractive, either. The idea of
a cock hungry girl wanting to see my dick was a turn on enough.
I would send front shots, side shots, slow videos of my caressing
it, close ups of the pre-cum drooling down the side, shots from
below with my face in them, shots of the balls, getting creative with
ways to photograph my genitals. I turned dick picks into an art form
that week. The craziest part was I was also doing Tantric solo
cultivation and didn’t ejaculate all week.
This whole new way of experiencing sexuality in the twenty-first
century was surprisingly satisfying, and I enjoyed every part of it.
Instead of thinking “Damn, no sex for seven days” I was pleased
that this strange situation I was in allowed me to discover a new
part of myself. Yes, I just wrote a five-hundred-word exploration of
what the greater cultural implication of dickpix is. Deal with it.

When I got back to Budapest it got weirder. I rocked up at

James’s apartment in a suit, wanting to put myself in a professional

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headspace for the night of business development planning and
phone sales we had ahead of us.
A half Irish half Jamaican girl with giant tits and booty was still
sending me horny sex Snapchats. She would show her brown ass in
a g string, show me her tits, and beg for me to fuck her from
behind and cum on her back. My snaps got lazier and weirder, from
shots of my floppy cock hanging out of my suit, to close ups of my
hairy balls, to a video of me taking a piss! On some level I was
trying to see how weird it could get before she would stop, but she
loved all of it, calling my pissing video ‘kinky’ and sending back one
of her butt.
I was working at my laptop in the kitchen, trying to focus on the
work email I was writing but being distracted by the sound of James
having really loud and intense sex with his girlfriend. A Snapchat
came in from the Jamaican girl, and I pulled my cock out to take a
video of me jerking it. I got so caught up in trying to capture the
cum drizzling down my shaft that I got a shock when James’s
girlfriend walked out of his room for a bathroom break.
I was startled, and went into a rushed explanation. “Oh! Hey, I
wasn’t touching my…I mean…well. I was. It’s just that I wasn’t out
here jacking off to you guys having sex. I’m on Snapchat, see, and
this chick keeps sending me…here. Uh, look. Wait, no I already
opened the snap now it’s gone. But uh…yeah. Just wanted you to
know that I wasn’t doing the creepy thing you thought I was… I was
doing something separate. Which is also creepy. But not the original
creepy thing and…” I trailed off, realising I was blocking the hallway
as she stood there in her towel, and let her walk awkwardly to the
bathroom. “Bye!” I said, then turned around to realize my cock was
still out, stuffing it back in my pants just as James emerged from
his room. “What in the blazes is going on out here, put ya wang
away” he said in a droopy sex haze, swigging a beer to quench his
thirst, then grimacing when he remembered that he hates beer.

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After ten years of this chaos, this was just another day of weirdness
in the Naturals' history.

181
 Blendr

This was through an old dating app called Blendr that was
popular in 2011. It was the heterosexual spin-off from the gay
dating app Grindr. I wanted to include it because it was the first
example of me meeting a girl through a dating app.
Here is the text exchange. She has X2 in her username.

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 Sexy librarian references the type of thing she hears without me
actually being one of the thirsty guys saying it. I introduce the topic
of sex this way, to test the waters. She responds well. So I
encourage her sexuality more.

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186
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 I distance myself from other guys on the app. “I’m just on this
while I'm killing time here.”

188
189
 I make it clear that I can get sex outside the app. Then my mind
was blown when she told me she just fucked a guy off the app. But
I didn’t let her know that, instead I encouraged her to share.
This was 2011 and I had zero experience with online dating or
apps, and Tinder wasn’t mainstream yet, so I was still skeptical
about the possibility of sex coming from something like this.

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192
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 This Twilight fantasy was insane but fun.
I didn’t write back and she panicked. Similar to how the
Hungarian girl double texted me.
If a girl does this it’s a really strong sign she’s into you.

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198
199
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 I moved the conversation over to texting at this point and we
both agreed to meet her in the city. We played it cool because I
knew she was hungry for our cocks but wanted to work for it and
feel like she was seducing us. I told her we were tired from the gym
and wouldn’t be able to stay long. It was a total role reversal.
It was like we were the young hot girls and she was the older
businessman, desperately trying to get them into bed as they were
unsure whether they wanted to proceed, deciding on impulse as the
night unfolds.

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 At the bar she bought me a drink, and I tapped into what James
calls the Seductive Economy. Never do anything for free, always
make sure there is some kind of clear and fair transaction going on,
even if it’s something small. In this example, I said
“If you keep buying me drinks all night I will finger you under the
bar.” She loved this idea, it was powerful for her to have these
youthful young fit men in the palm of her hand, playing out her
sexual fantasies.

At this point in my life I was a broke musician and I couldn’t

afford to party for free so having her pay for drinks was great. She
was my Sugar Mamma. As we sat in a dark corner I kept fingering
her and feeling her gigantic tits, burying my face in them and
motorboating her.
We talked more about sex and me and my cousin relaxed into the
roles of the pursued, as she played out the role of the pursuer,
trying to impress us with sex stories.

It was so fascinating experiencing seduction from the other side,

seeing how blatantly obvious it is when someone is trying to so
hard to impress you and is so desperate for your validation,
attention and affection. I kept thinking “This is what it must feel like
for hot girls! Wow!”

We stumbled out of the bar, pretty tipsy at this point, and she
pulled me close and whispered in my ear
“I wanna suck your cock in the laneway.” She took me by the
hand, and took advantage of my drunken state!
What a power play.
In seconds I was pressed up against the wall and my cock and
balls were out and in her hands as she gazed up at me with her
dazzling blue eyes. She licked all the way from the base to the tip,

204
not breaking eye contact once. Soon her head was bobbing back
and forth and she quickened the pace with her hand, spilling my
cum all over her lips and huge cleavage.
We hugged goodbye on the street, and went on our way. “Have
fun on tomorrow's date” I told her with a sly smile.

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 Tinder Friend Zone Escape

This story is about a girl who tried to put me in the friend zone, and
me drawing a clear line in the sand. It felt good to be able to say
‘no’ to this type of interaction where the dynamic is “I just see you
as a friend even though I know you are sexually interested in me
and I am using you for validation.”

However, there is a big contrast with this story and most ‘friend
zone’ stories. Usually the guy shows ZERO overt signs he’s into the
girl, never touches or flirts with her, and then all of a sudden
confesses his love, as if all the friendship points he invested can
somehow be cashed in for sex. In this story I'm actively seducing
her and she still plays dumb.

I loved her Tinder profile. She was a dark haired sporty chick, with
intimidating photos of her in the little denim short shorts partying at
a festival, in her fitness clothes, being cute.

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We moved the exchange over to Whatsapp

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2 minutes into our date she asked me “So why are you in Europe?
To film more of your kissing videos?”

I kept calm under pressure, but she had obviously Googled me

somehow. “That was filmed a long time ago” I said lightly. “I was
worried about coming to meet you… what will you do to me…” she
said with a grin.

We had a fun flirty hour walking on the water, some subtle but sexy
hand touching, whispering in each other’s ears, and I arranged to
meet her again. After the date she texted me
“You are the strangest person I have ever met…”

Because I was on the road for Eurotour we didn’t manage to meet

again until I was back in Budapest for two days before flying to
Australia, although she did Skype me once. When I met her I was in
the middle of a rampage, 9 girls in a week, and I had arranged for
her to come to my place at 7pm. I had another girl coming over at
10pm.

She walked in, we hugged, and her cheek grazed my neck. “Hello…”
she said, seductively, holding both my shoulders and pausing to
look deep into my eyes.

I sat in the chair, looking at her from across the room. I stood up
and walked towards her, and hugged her. When I went in for the
kiss she said
“Oh! My boyfriend wouldn’t like that...”
“Ok. Time for you to go then” I told her.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’m busy. Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

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“I didn’t… I just… Oh.”
“Yeah. We met on a dating app. Don’t meet up with people on
dating apps, skype with them seductively, and go to their house
and then tell them you have a boyfriend.”
I marched her out of the house.
“I feel weird now…” she said.

It’s not my problem that she got herself into that awkward
situation.
That night I get these messages, but I was already naked in bed
with another girl:

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It did cross my mind to sneak out and go roll the dice, but if she’s
the kind of girl that would go on a date while having a boyfriend, I
imagine it would be a wild goose chase where the carrot of easy sex
is dangled in front of me for her entertainment and snatched away
at the last second.

I wrote it off as her having boy troubles and forgot about it. In my
head, it was just bad timing that she had a boyfriend, as happens
with a lot of girls I meet on the road. Sometimes its just a matter of
timing, I'm back in a city a year later, suddenly she’s single, and
I'm the first guy on her radar to contact. So I left this one on the
slow burn, willing to give it another shot when I returned in 6
months. We did a lot of flirty Facebook messages back and forth in
the coming months while I was in Australia, joking about her taking
my virginity and enquiring not once but twice about when I would
arrive:

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 A few months later:

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Closer to my arrival date:

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We met up, went for a walk, I was taking it slow to get back into
the feel of each other’s energy, but soon we were touching, holding
hands, and I lay down across her lap when we stopped in a park. I
had to go so I left the tension hot from that date.

She texted about being stressed with uni and wanting to relax.
“I should give you a massage then…” I texted her. She agreed and
we arranged to meet at midday. It was just outside my house.
“Let’s go upstairs” I said presumptuously.
“No way… let’s sit in the sun.” I took a deep breath and figured she
wanted some time to relax and build up a familiar feeling of touch
with me again before coming straight to my house, so prepared to
take it a bit slower.

We sat on the steps of the church, and I was made sure to escalate.
I ended up draped across her again, laying with my head on her
lap, holding hands. We sat lazily talking like this for at least 10
minutes. I gradually started rubbing the inside of her thighs.

“You always touch me so much…” she said.

“Yeah. But you like it.”
“True…” she giggled.
“Touch is an important part of human connection” I explained, “and
apparently a lot of the complex handshakes men develop in jail are
partly because they are so starved off affectionate touch while
incarcerated.”
“Interesting” she said casually, “I get a lot of touch… from my
mum, my boyfriend…”

I’m still laying with my head in her lap.

“How does your boyfriend feel about us hanging out like this?” I
asked her, baffled they were still together.

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“He doesn’t mind. He’s not jealous…”
“He knows I’m touching you?”
“Well…no…”
“I feel like a circus freak now.”
“Why?”

“Why the hell did you meet up with me? You have a boyfriend. You
know what my job is, you know I'm going to touch you. It’s like you
just wanted to be entertained by watching me try when you know it
won’t happen.”
“I thought you knew! It’s the same boyfriend from last time…”

I stood up.
“The one that you texted me about last year when you were drunk
at midnight, saying that you wanted to break up with? For what? In
the hope that I would come out to the club chasing after you, so
you could have the power trip of turning me down?”
“I didn’t mean… I just… I thought we were friends…”
“No you didn’t. We had this exact conversation last time.”
“I really just…” she started, but I cut her off.
“We met on a dating app. We’re not friends. We never were. I’m
going. Give me a goodbye hug” I said, opening my arms.

She shrugged grumpily, and crossed her arms.

“Ahhh, now you’re leaving?”
“This is the exact kind of emotional manipulation bullshit I'm talking
about. Just because YOU don’t like the way things are playing out,
all of sudden you’re going to act rude and cold to me and not even
say goodbye properly. You think if you act hurt I'm going to comfort
you for an awkwardness that YOU created by meeting up with a
seducer from a dating app while you had a boyfriend?”

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She jumped straight up and hugged me, and I said goodbye and
walked away. It felt very powerful to be able to have a clear
boundary and leave as soon as she crossed it. The easy way out of
this would have been to platonically hang out with her for another
hour or two, knowing she has a boyfriend. Instead I had only
wasted 20 minutes of my day on this dice roll, just outside my
house, so I went home and spent those two hours editing videos.
Two hours of my life I clawed back from an energy vampire.

While this situation is rare (a girl meeting a guy for a date while she
has a boyfriend), the lesson about being direct, having clear
boundaries and not being someone else’s dancing monkey are
universally applicable.
The classic Nice Guy reaction would have been to skirt around the
topic, or play it cool, to try to avoid the confrontation. Instead, I
met it head on, putting it all on the table. This leads to a short-term
tension, but makes your life infinitely easier in the long run. Every
avoided confrontation is a weight that stays with you long after the
interaction.

Think about confrontation in your life. Are there people who you
want to say something to, but don’t because it will be awkward?
What are the things that you feel uncomfortable about? Your boss,
your relationship, your family, your housemates, customer service
people…
Being direct like this is a life skill if you don’t want other people to
walk all over you. Start developing the habit today.

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 Don't Play the Game

This is a story of two concurrent seductions, detailing how both

girls demanded monogamy from me but didn’t play by the very
same rules they set down. They both carry a very important
cautionary tale to men with ‘nice guy’ tendencies dating in the
twenty-first century.

She was staring past me down the tramline.

“Hey! Are you looking at me?” I yelled. “I'm just sitting her with
my friend waiting for the tram and you’re objectifying me!” I called
out, mocking offence. “I feel so degraded” I went on with a grin.
She blushed, laughed, and said she was looking for the tram. I went
back to talking to my student. Despite my bravado I felt scared to
go talk to her. I was a bit emotionally raw from a crazy week of
coaching and wasn’t ready for her to tell me she had a boyfriend.
Also, the “I'm coaching” excuse came up.
After five minutes my positive mindset got the better of me.
“What the fuck man, just go take thirty seconds to see how it goes.
She gave you some positive signs!” But I had left it too late, and
now she was on the tram! Lucky it was the first stop, so it wasn’t
leaving for another minute. I jumped on the tram and sat down
next to her, staring straight ahead, pulling a funny face, and slowly
turning my head to her. She grinned. “I know your tram is about to
leave but I better get your number.”
She looked shocked and uncomfortable, and said “Uhhhh….”
Which I read as an awkward rejection. Given that I was already
expecting a no, and the social pressure of everyone on the tram
listening, and my student waiting for me, I said “Ok anyway bye”
and jumped off the tram.

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 Two weeks later I was in the middle of Melbourne’s busiest arts
festival, White Night, where the entire city stays open all night.
Through the dense crowd I locked eyes with a doll-faced beauty in a
white dress. We had a moment, I blew her a kiss, and she waved. I
ran after her, and strolled along next to her.
“Hey” I said with the confident grin of a man who’s had a girl
already wave at him before the approach. “Hey” she replied,
smiling. “You didn’t give me a chance to answer the other day.”
What the actual fuck, I thought. Who is this chick?? I paused,
staring into her eyes, searching my mind for where I met this girl.
“You just jumped off the tram…” she continued.
Time stood still. The chaos of the festival raged on but with our
eyes locked we were the only ones there. I couldn’t believe it was
not only the same girl from the other day, but that we had met in
the crowd, and that I didn’t even recognize her but just locked eyes
anyway and shared that moment.
“Oh true, what’s your name?” As we started talking, I noticed she
was pushing a pram, and got her number. We texted the next day
and I met up with her at the train station. Turned out it was her
friend’s baby.

“You… you make me nervous” she said calmly as we walked. A

woman as beautiful as her is used to men constantly making her
comfortable, doing favors, trying to win her affection. So my
relaxed, calm demeanor was a breath of fresh air for her, a pleasant
break from boring guys, finally a man who could make her feel
something, even if it was nerves. We had a nice date, went to play
darts, she ended up back at my place. The sexual tension built, and
as I sat in my office chair with my pants undone and her about to
lick my cock, she said “I can’t do this, it’s all happening too fast.”
I understood, so we just lay on the bed cuddling. “You know I
gotta finish myself off though” I told her, and she giggled as I

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started slowly stroking my dick. She got turned on by this, and
started kissing my neck, licking my ear and touching my chest. I
exploded into a tissue, and we managed to share a strange erotic
moment, even if we didn’t technically go further than kissing (which
it turned out in her small town upbringing was not what ‘good girls’
do). We left my place, met my friends at a club, and then she went
home.

The next time I saw her, she put up resistance when I tried to
fuck her. She told me she had had one-night stands before but was
confused about how to act around me in case I judged her. Earlier
that day she had read out an email she had sent to her mum saying
“I met this guy and he’s funny, well dressed, successful, creative…”
so I had the feeling she was trying to withhold sex from me in some
dubious ploy to make me commit, but wasn’t even sure herself how
to go about it. I told her that I respect female sexuality and holding
off on sex as a power trip over me is a turn off. We were laying on
a mattress on my balcony in the warm summer breeze, and as we
cuddled again, her pants came off, I spooned her, slipped her G-
string to the side and slipped in her pussy, fucking her slowly and
quietly while breathing intensely in her ear. She was moaning.
Through the glass sliding door we could see my brother pacing
my office room on the phone, learning the trade of doing phone
consults to interview guys who wanted to join our high level
coaching programs like Residential and The Eurotour. Lifestyle
design win. I had trained my brother to do the calls for me, so that
I could instead be outside sliding balls deep into her wet pussy.
Making money while getting laid!
We met up and fucked a few more times. She got naughtier each
time, the highlight being squatting down on a dildo that I stuck to
the floor with a suction cup and fucking herself crazy while blowing
me. Her deep blue eyes and angel face took on a darker tone as she

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stared into my soul in ecstasy while being penetrated in her mouth
and pussy. For me these are the moments when you really connect
with someone because you see each others' animal sides. It’s
vulnerable and powerful at the same time. Our sex got better each
time we met, the next time I saw her I was rubbing her clit while
fucking her with a dildo and she had a gushing squirting orgasm all
over my sheets.
I tried to meet her the following day (Friday) but she was busy.
Then Saturday she agreed to come over, but cancelled at the last
minute because she was sick and had just moved house. She
ignored a text to meet Tuesday. I forgot to reply to a few of her
texts that week, and her messages got less playful, and more curt.
I decided to end things with her, and sent her a breakup text
saying:

Hey I know I been outta contact... I'm going to Europe in a few

weeks for most of the year and felt kinda weird about what was
happening with us, I was enjoying hanging out with you ( and other
stuff ;) and was so caught up in the magic of how we met but then
felt like I was leading you on coz in the back of my mind I knew I
was going away ... So I just kept putting it off but I figure I should
just be straight with you!”

She replied:

“Thats good to know, im actually seeing someone else so I guess it

worked out quite perfectly!.”

And then a second later:

“You really disrespected me!”

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 So basically she went from expecting full commitment from me
before us having sex, to having another guy she was in a
relationship with, six days later. To have me believe that she was
fully committed to me during this period is absurd. Clearly she had
something going on with this guy while we were dating. I don’t
have a problem with this; I was doing the exact same thing with
other girls.
But as I will go into detail later, these are the confusing
paradoxical sexual minefields that men and women have to walk
through in the modern dating age. And women are naturally much
better at navigating these situations through a combination of
innate aptitude and the fact that their social and sexual
development starts much younger, meaning they are much more
experienced dealing with the opposite sex than a guy the same age
as them. This is partly why girls often go for older men.
And now, another tale from the same time period with a similar
outcome. Girl demands monogamy and tries to box me into a
traditional dating paradigm of ‘commitment = sex’ transaction, and
then bends the rules when it suits her.

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French Skater Girl

She was sitting next to me on the ledge on Bourke St, and I

heard her cough. “What?” I said, turning to her accusatorily.
“What?” she replied, confused in an adorable French accent.
“What did you say…were you talking to me?” I asked back,
confused.
“No…what??” The air was tense, and then I released the pressure
by grinning.
“I thought you were talking to me” I said, smiling in a way that
told her I definitely didn’t think that.

We started talking, and she tried on my glasses. There was heavy

flirtatious energy in the air—I could feel she was open to being
touched.
I told her I was blind without my glasses, and slowly reached out
for her soft pale thighs exposed above her short shorts, pretending
to grope them in blind confusion. She giggled and slapped my hand
away, but not before letting me grope around a bit more. She
groped me back, imitating me. I asked about her skateboard. Soon
we were joking around, and I was riding her skateboard. I
pretended to crash into her in slow motion, giving me another
excuse to ‘accidentally’ touch her and see how she responded. She
put on a faux-shocked attitude, slapping me on the shoulder and
telling me I was crazy with a wide-eyed look of fascination on her
face, but I could see the gleam of sexuality shining through the
smile.

Our first date was her calling me, drunk, from a club at one a.m.,
and me meeting her out the front on my way home from coaching.
We smoked a cigarette and she said “Let’s go get some water”. I

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followed her, and in her drunken rambling she told me we were
walking to her apartment. She imitated skateboarding, and then
said
“I knew you were Irish. Irish guys are always crazy. Like my last
boyfriend, this Scottish guy. It’s the perfect type of guy to have a
short summer romance with. Just for two months, fun, and that’s
it.”
She was so drunk at this point that she didn’t remember saying
any of that when I asked her about it weeks later.
We got back to her place and I felt like I was the girl, just going
along with her crazy plan to take me home. Originally I was
planning to just meet her in the club and catch up for a bit but all of
a sudden after a few blocks of walking and ranting we were outside
her place.
We got inside and got in bed, but we both knew she was too
drunk to fuck, so we lay down and spooned. She kept touching and
caressing me all night and I couldn’t sleep, and her housemates
were sleeping just behind a curtain in the lounge room so I had to
be silent. The combination of silence and sexual tension and
excitement of a new partner created so much sexual pressure that I
was literally about to ejaculate for about four hours, while passing
in and out of sleep. I had hardcore blueballs when I went home the
next day.

After that night we met up and had a few skateboarding dates. It

was really fun just hanging out with her, speak French, kicking
around like two lost kids on the train line. Eventually she came to
my place one night and we had sex.

After a few sex sessions we had this discussion over text.

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 Her: Yes, I'll go to bed soon. Don't invite too many girls in your
baisodrome.
Me: What is a baisodrome?
Her: Baisodrome : lieu spécialement dédié aux plaisirs de la chair.
Exemple : ta chambre.
(Translation: Baisodrome: place specifically dedicated to the
pleasures of the flesh. Example: your room.)
Me: Merci professeuse, je comprends maintenant! (Thank you
teacher, I understand now!) It was a pleasure to invite you in... As
you can see my written French is not so good, we will have to have
another lesson soon
Her: Well, I'd be happy to keep teaching you French as long as I'm
the only one to do so. I don't share my students. Let me know if
that's ok.
Me: I can see why, you're a very good teacher ;) sounds good to
me :)

I knew the drill. She was asking for commitment, and I had to
pretend to say yes so she would feel comfortable. But I still hadn’t
forgotten that she told me she only wanted me as a fun summer
boyfriend for two months!
We had fun for a few weeks after that, we had a great energy
together and she was fun to be around, but while she gave sensual
blowjobs, the actual sex wasn’t very good. She wanted me to be so
quiet that she couldn’t hear me breathing! Literally she wanted me
to lie there in silence while she rode me. This put so much tension
through my body and took me so out of the moment because I
wasn’t able to express my sexual energy at all. It would cause
premature ejaculation, because when I wasn’t sublimating that
energy or breathing out, it ended up just exploding out of my dick.
Normally I growl and scratch and let my energy out. This silence
put too much pressure on me.

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 After the final incident of this, we agreed not to sleep together.
“We’re just not sexually compatible” we concluded. It was a mutual
decision.
While we lay in bed holding each other after deciding to break it
off, she let the cat out of the bag.
“Oh, by the way, I fucked someone else” she mentioned. “I know
we said we weren’t gonna but…it was my ex, the Scottish guy. He
was in town, I didn’t know he was coming. That was why I cancelled
on you the other night…”
“What?!” I said, feigning shock. She had demanded exclusive
commitment from me just weeks before, but all of a sudden the
rules changed when she felt like having sex with her ex.

The reason I picked these two stories out of all the strange sexual
encounters I’ve had since my last book is because of what they
demonstrate about the dating game and the differences between
what men and women experience in terms of options. Both these
girls contractually withheld sex for a certain number of dates,
expected commitment, and verbally demanded that I be exclusive
to them during the courtship process. Of course I’m not naïve
enough to fall for these kinds of games, but my thoughts and heart
went out to guys who would. What would a normal guy have done
in that situation? What would I have done eight years ago?
What I want to draw attention to is the traditional social contracts
that many girls try to box guys into; stories that guys end up
playing along with at the detriment of their sexual growth and
freedom.
Imagine if I had put all my eggs in one basket? Pined over one
girl, emotionally invested so much so early on, looked at her as the
sole source of feminine energy and affection, as my only sexual
outlet. This news of her other liaisons would have been decimating!

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But since I was realistic about the fact that it was just a summer
fling, I was fine.

In our society men are socialized to believe that a ‘man of honor’

should commit to a girl. He should be 100% honest, no matter
what. That ‘respecting’ her means literally following every order or
demand she makes no matter how early into the relationship. They
are under the Nice Guy delusion that they will be rewarded for
these honorable deeds with praise, sex, affection, love, validation,
and will have all their needs met.
The problem with this dating concept is that the odds are
massively stacked against men. Women have an insanely higher
power in the dating game in terms of their ability to attract
potential partners and get sex. (Whether this is fulfilling for them or
meets their needs is a whole different discussion). But the harsh
truth is, it’s easy for a girl to quickly be dating two, three or more
guys at once while she’s single, trial a few different guys and find
one she likes. All the while a man might go weeks if not months or
years without approaching a woman, let alone going on a date or
getting laid. His options are spread so much thinner and therefore
the average dude is going to be so much more outcome dependent
on how each of his potential partners turns out.

As a result of this scarcity he will be willing to ‘commit’ to a girl

while they’re dating if he thinks it will get his needs met. This could
take him away from actively looking for potential partners for three-
six months during the courtship phase. That’s half a year he could
have been dating five different girls, learning about sex, about
himself, finding out who he is, developing as a person, learning
what he likes and doesn’t like, understanding the amazing variety of
sexuality that’s out there and becoming a more rounded lover.
Instead he’s effectively stagnating for months, investing so much in

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a relationship that could very easily fizzle out at her whim when she
decides she prefers one of the other guys she’s seeing and gets
serious with him. And then what? He’s back to square one with no
options and an even more intense desperation to fill the intimacy
hole, mixed with a bitterness towards women and society for not
rewarding him for his nice guy behaviour. I know this partly
because I see it in so many guys I coach, and also because I was
on track to becoming this kind of guy if I hadn’t started approaching
women and taking responsibility for my dating life.

Compare the first guy to someone who’s spent that six months
working on himself, approaching women, pushing his comfort zone,
going on dates, getting laid. At the end of that period, maybe he’s
found one girl he wants to settle down with, but now he’s doing it
from a place of choice. He has the power to decide who he dates
and the knowledge and confidence to know that he can approach
more women and get another partner if his current relationship
doesn’t go anywhere.
Or maybe he’s enjoying everything the single life has to offer.

I’m aware that some men reading this will want to slut-shame the
girls in these stories. Slut-shaming refers to the act of scornfully
dismissing a woman based on her sexual acts, judging her for who
she chooses to sleep with and how often. Usually men doing this
are projecting their own frustrations and pain onto the women,
trying to punish them for their own lack of sexual options.
For a guy who has been cheated on, or simply felt the burn of
the harsh reality that sex is easily obtainable for a woman and yet
can feel like an impossibility for a man, it can be very frustrating to
read about this combination of deception and sexual power. It’s
easy to think “This is proof that all women are whores and can’t be

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trusted.” If this is the type of self-talk you have while reading these
stories then consider this:

- You’re missing the point I'm making. I’m not blaming these
girls for the way they acted, merely opening guys' eyes up
to the reality of the dating game and telling them to stop
being naïve. Most guys who shame women for being
promiscuous would be equally as slutty if they had the
chance. Women are dealing with the dating game in their
own way to try get their needs met, just as men are. Part
of the reason women have to be so deceptive about their
dating life and develop seemingly strange and incongruent
coping strategies is this exact type of slut-shaming. It’s a
vicious cycle.

- Playing the sexual blame game is a great way to guarantee

you not getting laid for even longer. Becoming frustrated or
bitter about this situation pulls you further away from
understanding women on a fundamental level and will make
it harder to find the sex and love you’re looking for. Hating
women for being a certain way is like wishing the earth
would stop rotating around the sun. It means you are
holding onto this fantasy world in your head where
everyone is 100 percent upfront and honest always and
forever and everyone lives happily ever after. Accept that
the world of love and romance has and always will be a
complicated and nuanced reality, and that those who get
their needs met are the ones who can be fluid and adapt.

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 Honesty and Commitment

Many guys are too honest too early in a relationship. I had a

friend who would tell every girl he went on a date with that he
wasn’t looking for a committed relationship. This level of brutal
honesty is not only unnecessary; it’s actually socially uncalibrated.
Does a car salesman say “Hi, I’m Mark. Welcome to Porsche! Just
to be 100 percent honest my job is to make you feel cool and make
you need this expensive sports car by associating it with sex, status
and power. I don’t actually want to be friends with you. I just want
your money.” Does a doctor say “Hi, welcome to the hospital. You
know people die here? Your relative is old as fuck. They’re gonna
die, and then you’re gonna burn their body. Or bury it so it rots in
the ground! Just being honest.” Of course not. While both of those
things are unspoken truths, there is no reason to say them out
loud.

More classic mistakes:

- Telling the girl you don’t want a relationship

- Assuming she wants commitment
- Assuming she knows precisely what she wants and
speculating on whether you can give it
- Worrying about giving ‘the wrong impression’ on the first
date before you've even slept with her or kissed her

This also brings up another social myth: that all women who so
much as talk to a man want to marry him, and he has to extract
sex secretly.

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 Not all girls want a boyfriend. And assuming
she does is disrespectful. Most people don't
even know what they want.

Their future projections are based on a mish-mash of social

conventions, dating clichés from movies, things their friends have
said, and their interpretation of past experiences. Limiting women
to a romantic ideal of ‘all girls want one man to commit to them’ is
a sure way to end relationships early before you’ve even had a
chance to explore the other person or see how your unique
relationship with that person evolves.
Right now there is a girl walking to university, who if you stopped
her on the street and asked her what she wants she would say
something like:
“I don’t sleep with a guy until the third date. I want a guy to
commit. I don’t want a guy who’s gonna see other women. I want a
guy who lives in my city, to go shopping with and have coffees with
and see him four times a week.”
However, I can bet you that if I approached her and we had a
spark, were laughing and had fun together, and made each other
feel special, and had amazing sex, all of a sudden she would be
willing to have two-day sex romps with me when I'm in town and
wait weeks or months before seeing me again while I'm away on
tour. This is a totally different context of relationship to what she
said she wanted, something that wasn’t even in her reality before,
but after meeting me and experiencing it I’ve opened her eyes to a
whole new model of what kind of relationship she can have with a
man. I’ve shown her that there are other possibilities that she can
enjoy just as much, if not more, than what she was hoping for.
All of a sudden she has a charming dashing Australian guy that
she can have fun sexy encounters with every few weeks, and send
flirty messages to in between. I don’t tick any of the boxes she

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described that she wants before: I’m non-monogamous, sex on the
first date, don’t live in her city, don’t buy her things or take her out
on dates or see her regularly, but yet she is still happy with our
arrangement. If I had told her on the first date, “I travel a lot. I'm
gonna fuck you for a few days, then leave for weeks or months. I'm
not gonna be exclusive with you. Do you want that?” Of course she
would be hesitant, before she had experienced it. Women are not
robots with a clearly defined set of programs. They are complex
emotional humans, and just like men, their needs, wants, desires
and expectations about what they want from relationships and life
can change drastically based on an infinite number of factors.
Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend and wants to date a
few guys. Maybe she is in her final semester of university and
doesn’t have time to spend a day and a half watching Netflix with a
guy but wants two hours of stress releasing sex once or twice a
week so she can focus on her work.
You trying to be respectful by laying your cards on the table is
actually doing the opposite. Feel through the interaction; don’t map
it out before it’s even started out.

One of my friends and collogues, Shaun Masters (Sales and

Operations Manger for The Natural Lifestyles), was a perfect
example of someone who was way too honest, way too early. He
had repeatedly made the mistake of telling every single girl flat out
on the first date that he just wanted sex and didn’t want to be a
boyfriend. This led him to turn off many girls and ruin the
seductions before they had even begun. Interestingly enough he
did start sleeping with one girl who he was blunt with. Here’s what
he said:

So first date I kissed her and left it at that. Saw her a week later
on a Saturday night, we went and got dessert. As we were walking

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down Southbank I told her I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. Because
she doesn’t drink we had nothing else to do after walking around
the city, so I offered to take her back to my place. She asked what
we were going to do, and I said "just chill out, listen to some
music". We took the train home and I slept with her that night.
We’ve been seeing each other every few weeks.

She later told me that she didn't expect we'd have sex that night.
Apart from me she's been with two guys, both were boyfriends (one
had to wait until the tenth date to fuck her) and both were guys she
was friends with first.
So it worked…once. But I have plenty of examples when I DIDN'T
take the girl home or ever see her again because I told her I wasn't
looking for anything serious in that crude way.

There’s a funny follow up to what happened. I was telling the girl

I’m seeing now about how this honesty thing had confused me: how
I misunderstood when James Marshall said “be honest with girls
about what you’re looking for” and took it to mean I should literally
tell them verbally on the first date that I wanted to fuck without
commitment. As I shared this insight and revelation about not being
so brutally honest with my girl, I said "So now I’m not going to
discuss it until I’ve slept with a girl a couple of times."
And her response was "That's terrible. You shouldn't do that. If
you had done that to me I wouldn't be seeing you."
BUT when we first starting sleeping with each other, she said "I
want to keep seeing you, but if you start sleeping with other girls
this is over." Then a month later I’m telling her about two girls I
fucked while she was on holiday in Korea and she loves every
minute of it!
Just goes to show how transparent what people say is. And I
used to think it was women trying to be manipulative or controlling,

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but it’s really just ignorance. Just like everyone else, they only have
a vague concept of what they want. They like the IDEA of having
the monogamous relationship, no sex till date three etc. but that
doesn't mean the FEELING of having the crazy adventure with a guy
won't take over and be the dominant priority.”

For men who work in intellectual industries that use lots of

reason, calculating, and rational logic, this can be confusing. “Why
do they say one thing, and do another?”
When you add this with sexual frustration and jealousy at the
sexual power that women have, it is a perfect toxic mix for bitter
misogyny to develop.
Again, the question is, do you want to be one of the men who
understands the subtleties of human motivations and cognitive
dissonances, or be frustrated that the world doesn’t conform to your
idealized version of reality? Are you hoping for a utopia where
everyone is honest and women operate with exactly the same logic
as you (which you think will make it easier for you to get your
needs met)? Instead of wishing the world and the people in it were
a certain way, make it your goal to understand the nuances of
human behavior.

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 Shaun Masters Make Up Girl

I decided to include the full story of how Shaun met the girl
mentioned above (the one time when brutal honesty actually paid
off), because it’s a good example of how a casual relationship can
develop. Shaun writes:

I met this girl in a make-up shop. I was walking past on my way

to the train and saw her out of the corner of my eye. I idled outside
for ten seconds before deciding I didn't care what people thought
and just approached her inside the store.
She walked away from me after a thirty-second conversation,
then I rejoined her at her side and continued talking. Again she
walked away to get on an escalator, but I literally had to grab her
by the arm and pull her back into me. Sometimes persistence pays
off when the girl is really shy.
Now we see each other for sex every fortnight or so. She works
full time on the other side of town, lives with her parents and
doesn't drive, so we always have to get together at my place. We
normally meet up in the city and get some food together, then head
back to my place for sex, which started out being a very simple
'lights out, basic positions' ordeal but has evolved into a variety of
kinky outfits and role-plays, and me teaching her how to give a
blowjob. Last time we were together she said “You know we don't
have to meet up for dinner beforehand, it’s great if we have a cool
restaurant we want to check out but otherwise I can just come
straight to your house.”
Before I met her she'd recently broke up with her boyfriend of
four years and was devastated for months after the break-up. We
joke that if I had approached her a week after the break-up she
wouldn't have even considered my existence because he was her

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whole world. She hadn't really considered the idea of having a
casual affair until she met me. The moment I knew I was doing an
awesome thing was when she told me "I really like what we're
doing because we get to be close without being committed. I feel
like we're open and honest with each other and talk about
important things, but you're not breathing down my neck. This just
suits my lifestyle because I enjoy my own company a lot of the
time".
Her first boyfriend apparently called her every morning, on her
lunch break, at dinner, and in the evening, and was obsessed with
talking to her. We text each other quite heavily, but we also go
days without any communication.
She took a one-month holiday overseas and wasn't sure if she'd
want to consider doing the same thing when she returned. So as a
thank you she bought me some really cool presents that weren't
lame typical gifts, but really personal stuff that spoke lengths about
how much she knew about me and cared (although in her words it
was "just things that reminded me of you when I was shopping"). I
never would have imagined a girl I was just sleeping with would buy
me presents. In fact, I spent the first twenty four years of my life
hoping I’d have an amazing girlfriend in a monogamous relationship
who would know the perfect gifts to buy me. But this is much better
because I retain my freedom. We agreed in return I’d write a sex
story featuring the two of us, which I read to her. Good trade in my
opinion!

When she returned we got together for dinner and I got to hear
all about her trip. As we were walking out of the restaurant I turned
to her and said "Well, I guess this is where we discuss the elephant
in the room. Do you want to keep doing what we've been doing?".
Her response was "I'm not too sure, I guess we'll just see what
happens". Then I asked "Ok, do you want to come back to my

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place?" and she said “I'll just follow your lead". Took her straight
home and had awesome reunion sex.
From what I can tell she had some very vanilla sex with her ex-
boyfriends. With me she buys all of these cute outfits and dresses
up, which makes it more exciting for me. She tells me that it’s
because she enjoys wearing them and it’s not for my sake, which I
actually believe. It just seems that she's enjoying the freedom of
exploring different things knowing that we're just meeting up for
fun sex together. She thanked me for teaching her how to give a
blowjob because she really enjoyed it.
Meanwhile, her mother still thinks she's a virgin…

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 Kosta Oasis Active

Here are two stories written by a friend Kosta that give a really
interesting perspective on what’s possible with online dating. Keep
in mind this guy has all the other areas sorted: he’s fit, with good
fashion and well-chosen photos. They are from a dating website
called “Oasis Active”, which was popular a few years before Tinder
really took off.

Story #1

My profile was simple. Music festivals. Some dressed up in a suit.

Main photo was just me at a party. But they were well-lit and
presented me in a great light (literal and figurative). My description
was basic, it just said “Looking to meet some cool lady” nothing too
exciting.
This experience blew my mind about female sexuality. I had
never seen a girl take such direct aggressive action to secure sex
for herself. Usually they’re so much more subtle about making it
happen. It is a mindset shifter because although society loves to
program men to believe that women don’t really like sex, stories
like this are great counterbalances to that.
I was on the dating site Oasis Active and was added by this girl
who lived in the Gold Coast, Queensland. A twenty-hour drive from
my hometown of Melbourne.
I was very close to not accepting her friend request because I
was on there for fun casual sex, and I thought “Why do I wanna
chat with a girl in a different state?”
Logistically it looked pretty unlikely. But she looked hot and like
she would be wild in bed, so I accepted the request. She messaged
me first.

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 Her: “Hey how are you going ?”
Me: “Good. You?”
Her: “Fine thanks… you’re hot ; ) “
Me: “So what… you live in Queensland!”
Her: “I’m actually coming down to Melbourne next week and I’m
looking for guys to hook up with….”

MIND BLOWN. It was on from there. She starts sending me

naked photos! We spoke on the phone and she started getting
really dirty.
Her: “I can’t wait to run my hand up your leg and feel the bulge
in your pants…”
Me: “I’m gonna lick your nipple slowly…”
Her: “Holy fuck… that makes me so wet.”
She booked a hotel room which she shared with her friend. At
least they had separate beds. We’d built it up quite a bit because
we’d been talking dirty about what would happen when we met.
There was an instant spark between us as she opened the hotel
door. “Hi” she said, giggling “come on in, this is my friend Sarah.”
The friend knew what was up because she went to bed, put on
headphones, and faced towards the wall. We started making out, I
fingered her, and we started fucking. But the mood was killed
because we were holding back. Her friend being there inhibited us. I
went home, a bit confused and disappointed.
The next day she invited me over again. This time, she made
sure that her friend went out for a ‘shopping trip’ while I was there.
It was way better. We started fucking, and for someone I had met
the day before, it got really dirty really fast. “I want you to choke
me while you fuck me” she purred. “Hot! Now pull my hair while
you do my doggystyle” she panted.

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 After slamming her from behind while she bucked back on my
dick, she said something that still makes me hard when I think
about it.
“Now stick it in my ass.”
I wedged it in slowly at first, and as it got deeper she started to
slam back harder on it. “Spit on me!” she screamed out.
I could feel myself close to the edge, and I think she sensed it
too, because she jumped up, pulled the condom off and started
blowing me till I blew in her mouth.

It was much easier to do it without her friend being there. Good

logistics on their part. Her friend came back, we said goodbye, and
that was the last time I saw her. I’m still friends with her on
Facebook. She’s married now, and has a kid.
I learned not to assume anything. I never would have thought
this was possible until it happened to me. Viewing the world
through the lens of “women don’t really like sex” makes it hard for
these scenarios to happen. But understanding that most women
have a powerful sexuality that can be expressed to extremes in the
right circumstances allowed me to flow with this experience.

Story #2

Another time, I was coming back home from Thailand, I was jet-
lagged so I was still awake at 3 a.m.. I went online and added some
women that were still online on Oasis Active. She was 43 but I was
going through a MILF phase so I was into it.
“What are you up to?” I asked her.
“Just got back from a party, I’m a bit drunk” she told me.
“You like to get wild when you party?”
“You better believe it… I have a wild side ; ) “
“You’ll have to show me in person…”

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 “Wouldn’t you like that…I’m on here looking for some fun, we
should meet sometime” she told me.
“What are you doing right now? Come over…”
“Now?! It’s 3am!”
“Exactly…”
“Well my 13 year old son is with his Dad… I suppose this is as
good a time as any…You come to me”

I drove over there, she answered the door in her night gown. We
had polite conversation, but her eyes were burning with lust. “I
haven’t felt the touch of a man for a long time” she said, pacing
over to me, and letting her gown slip off her shoulder. She paced
around me as I stood still, running her fingers over my neck and
down my arm.
“Take off your shirt” she ordered. I took it off, and as she stood
behind me I heard her gown hit the ground, and gasped a second
later as I felt her warm breasts pressing against my back. She slid
her hands over my shoulders and kissed the back of my neck.
She led me to the bedroom and sucked me off like she was
hungry for it. “I’ve missed this so much” she mumbled, with her
mouth full.

We fucked like crazy and then I went home. Again, it just shows,
for every girl online looking for a boyfriend there’s another one who
just wants some simple, no strings attached sex with a respectful
guy.

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 Taking Good Profile Photos

A good profile picture is vital in the world of online dating. Here

are some basic pointers.

Don’t look at the camera

Unless you have male-model good looks and a smile that could
be on a magazine cover, with dreamy eyes to match, looking into
the camera is going to a bad move. Looking away from the camera
is powerful for three reasons. Firstly it accentuates the angles of
your face and your jaw line. Secondly it makes you look less
desperate, a bit aloof. It sounds crazy, but studies have shown that
men who are looking away from the camera are more attractive.
My speculation on this is that women are used to men looking at
them like a puppy dog, saying anything they can to try to please
them and constantly competing for their attention and validation.
When a man doesn’t display this repulsive over-the-top eagerness,
it makes him seem mysterious and attractive, and makes her feel
like she has to earn his attention and approval as opposed to just
receiving it as a result of her beauty alone [Editor's note: as a
lady™, I also think looking away from the camera makes you seem
less axe-murdery threatening, see: mugshots].

In the same way that a photo of a woman looking into the

camera longingly will trigger a mans response to a sexual advance
from a woman, a photo of a man looking into the distance will be
more likely to trigger a woman’s response to his aloof, intense
stare.
The third reason is that it appears the photo captures you in a
moment of fun and joy, not in the awkward pose-for-a-photo

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moment. They can feel the emotion coming from the picture. You
want the emotion to be “Wow he looks like he was having so much
fun” as opposed to “Man, he looks uncomfortable awkwardly posing
for this photo. I can see the tension on his face and arms.”

Your clothes

What you wear speaks volumes to women about what kind of

man you are, what subculture you fit into, what personality traits
you’ll have and most importantly want kind of adventures you will
take her on. Are you the generic dude with a video game tee shirt
sitting on his mum's couch drinking Mountain Dew? Or are you
wearing a leather jacket and riding a motorbike? Wearing a wetsuit
holding a surfboard at the beach? Dressed in a suit in a swanky
nightclub? Each of these outfits paints a vivid picture of what you’ll
be like for her. Play up the sexually exciting parts of your
personality.
Actively choosing your clothes allows you to begin to create a
story and a fantasy in her head about what meeting and fucking
you will be like. What worlds you have access to. What experiences
you will have together. Are you a woodsman kind of guy who works
with his hands that she can go camping with? Are you a sensitive
hippy that she can go to tantric meditation retreats with? Are you a
cool hipster that she can go to a gallery opening with?
These are all powerful messages that you can communicate even
before meeting up with her, so she begins to seduce herself in her
head!
I used to have a huge resistance to taking photos where I look
cool. As a punk/metalhead/counterculture kid I thought it was lame
and mainstream and vain to care how you look. I know a lot of men
feel a lot of shame and guilt around this too, as well as suppressed
rage at the popular cool attractive kids for presenting themselves in

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a certain way in their photos. “They’re just doing it for attention!
Self absorbed posers!”
Well, you can hate all you want, but having an online dating
profile where you look like an exciting attractive person and get sex
with hot girls from it is worth every awkward feeling you have while
taking the photos.
I say this because most of the really good photos that I have of
myself were literally a result of twenty or more different photos
trying out different angles, lighting, facial expressions, and body
positions to nail it. Embrace the vanity. Imagine you are doing a
professional photo-shoot for a magazine and you want it to look
good.
This also means getting people to take photos of you. Selfies are
not usually a very flattering angle. You will have to convince one of
your friends to be patient and take twenty different photos. I
balance this out by doing the same for them and making sure they
get a great photo for their profile too.
The end result should look like it hasn’t been posed at all and is
completely natural. The more you practice this the more you get to
know what angles work for you.

If you nail all of these, some girls will just be ready to go based
off your profile. Here is an example of someone who was clearly
sold just from my photos. I never actually followed this up when I
returned because I was with another girl, but thought I would post
because it’s funny. I don’t recommend doing this, I don’t think it
would work consistently, but it shows the power of good photos:

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261
 Good Photo Examples

Here are my Tinder profile pictures. As you’ll remember from the

story of Tasha, we were on Tinder together, and she explained to
me what each photo said about me and the impression it had on
her, so I’ve included that in my explanations.

This one is obviously taken by a professional photographer in a

studio. It’s worth doing this at least once every year or two. Most
people know someone who has a DSLR camera and would do
portraits of you for a hobby. If not, it’s worth paying for it. You’ll
notice I'm not looking at the camera and this angle flatters my
jawline. It took about 67 different shots to get this one. But that
extra twenty minutes of posing is worth it when you have a
powerful photo of yourself for all forms of social media for the next
12–24 months.
Tasha said: “Obviously this is a good first impression. You are not
naturally good looking enough to be a model but because of the
clothes and lighting you look like one. It very clearly identifies you
as a man, not a boy. And as someone who understands women’s

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fantasies to be with someone successful and powerful, tapping into
the 50 Shades Of Grey dream.”

The lighting in this photo flatters my arms, making them look

ridiculously bigger and more toned than they actually are. The cat
tee shirt is cute and I get many women writing to me referencing it.
Also my haircut and beard grooming is simple and neat, but shows I
take care of myself. Notice I’m not smiling in this photo.
Tasha said: “This photo is very cute. It’s just you in your room,
the cat shirt is funny, and of course your arms look great. And the
glasses make you look smart and hip. Good frame choice.”

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 Again, I’m not looking at the camera. The black and white is
moody. I’m playing music and look focused and passionate. The
angle makes my body look symmetrical and athletic. It shows part
of my personality: that I play music.
Tasha said “Woah…seeing a man passionate about his art like this
is very sexy. It’s like I want to get your attention but I know you’re
focused deep on your music.”

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 This photo is more silly and fun. It’s me in a costume for my
heavy metal video clip “Hammer Of Thor”. The lighting and pose
makes me look way fitter than I am.
Tasha said: “I like this because it shows you’re a little bit crazy.
You’re not boring, and you can be fun and silly as well as serious.”

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 This photo is me and Jess Jules from The Natural Lifestyles
photoshoot. It’s blurry and zoomed in because I cropped it,
but it still works. Girls often ask if I'm a model after seeing
this. The presence of an attractive girl in the photo, but who
is not my girlfriend hints at a lifestyle spent on photo-shoots
with models.
Tasha said: “Good photo. It makes me think, who is that girl?
A model? His girl? I want to know more…”

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 Bad Photo Examples

Just to prove a point about how your style, pose, lighting and
facial expression can affect a photo, here are some examples of
photos of me from the past.

Terrible angle. Ugly expression. Skin looks over exposed.

Unkempt facial hair. Glasses that don’t suit my face. Not doing
anything particularly interesting or cool.

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 Creepy expression. Terrible style of “nineties skater frat dude
trying to dress up for Chad’s twenty-first” by wearing a shirt over a
tee shirt.

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 Meek, timid look on my face. Adolescent t-shirt. Gross facial hair.
Awkward positioning, alone in the photo, holding a bottle of water
that looks as big as my torso. Who took the photo? My mum? Am I
at a family picnic? What girl would look at this and say “Wow that is
surely that man that will take me on an exciting adventure…”

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 Juvenile expression, trying to be funny for camera and failing.
Double chin. Ugly haircut and facial hair. Where is this photo taken?
The year eleven boys' locker room? This guy looks like he needs
seven beers before he can approach a girl, tell her about his
favorite sports team, and vomit in the bushes.

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 Awkward smile. Pyjama top as a suit, which is cute and funny for
about three seconds, but clearly some kind of ‘clever’ idea to
compensate for lack of social skills. “Crazy” headband to show this
guy knows how party. Another thing that all of these bad photos
demonstrate is a lack of understanding of what women are looking
for… the choice to make this one the five images that represent

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your best self on a dating site tells the girl that you really have no
idea what you’re doing.

Angle makes my jaw look fat. Clearly taken in a classroom. Silly

facial expression (looking straight into the camera, instant creep),
can’t handle the social pressure of a photo being taken. Ugly
haircut. Dumb tee shirt which comes way too high up my neck.

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 Looks like it was taken by my mum (it was). Where am I? “Hey
girls, check out my cool pad. Where I live. My parents live here too,
but it's cool, we can close the door to my room and put on Blink
182. I have their CD in my backpack…” One sock longer than the
other, shoelaces broken, three-quarter pants, gross handlebar
moustache, ugly station rat jumper. This is from my “protesting
society, fashion standards and capitalism by wearing clothes I found
on the street” phase. Literally found that jumper in a soggy suitcase
in a laneway, wore it with pride for years to protest society. Didn’t
impress any girls with it.

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 Here we have another photo of me on stage performing. But this
time it’s different. Firstly, my clothes are ridiculous. Wearing a
costume on stage? Great idea. Wearing one that makes you look
like an eleven year old's Peña Colada themed punk band? Not so
exciting for a woman. Lighting is not flattering, I'm wearing
eighteenth-century mutton chops which means not only did I think
it was a good idea to grow them that length but also that I think
this photo represents me. Danger tape around my head…coz I’m

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dangerous? (Yes, I literally used to say that to girls while raising my
eyebrows suggestively.)

Five watches… guess what time it is. PARTY TIME. Yes I used to
say this too. Classic fashion fail with “shirt over t shirt to dress up”
again. Shirt says “Camberwell Soccer Club”. In my nineteen-year-
old brain I thought “sport is masculine, masculine is alpha, if I let
chicks know I played for a sports team… guaranteed pussy.”
Seriously.
Patchy facial hair and danger tape again.

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 Another classic mistake guys make. Thing think “Girls like crazy
party guys. I feel powerful and reckless when I’m drunk. Here is a
photo of me getting drunk with my friends. I’m sure the thought of
me and my drunken frat buddies will turn her on!! Did I mention I
DRINK BEER?!”
Instead, the impression you give her is “I’m one of the guys that
badly hits on you when you’re in the club.”
So comparing my first five photos with these, the contrast here is
pretty strong. Same guy, different photos, and an extremely
different impression on girls.

Below are some more good photos of me. These are from my
Instragram, which is becoming like an online dating profile more
and more. Tinder links to it, your Facebook links to it. Therefore,
ensure that the image you’re presenting to the world on Instagram
paints an attractive picture.

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 Where am I? Somewhere exciting. A pirate ship? Dressed in an
edgy rocker style, with a cool rock chick photographer. Not looking
at the camera, too busy being cool.

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 Not looking at camera. Grooming well maintained, no neck beard.
In some kind of hipster location being chill. John Keegan shot this
from 34 different angles before we nailed it.

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 Cute photo. Where am I? Looks classy, people seeing this photo
can be transported into that glamorous world. Who took the photo?
Probably a girl I’m there with.

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 On set directing a music video. Well dressed, with other attractive
people in crazy costumes. In a crazy location! This photo looks
natural but was very posed. We did about ten different takes to get
the look right.

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 Very flattering to my back muscles, and lighting makes it look like
I have a tan (I don’t). I’m not looking at camera. Cool sunset photo.

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 Who is this girl? Why am I here? Am I going to punish her?
Where are we and what the hell was the context of this photo? Did
this boy and girl have sex after? All intriguing questions for women
to ponder as they look at it.

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 Not looking at camera. Simple, well fitted clothes. Again, on a
cool boat somewhere.

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 Not looking at camera. Clearly at a photo shoot of some kind,
with a hot blonde. Same teenage metal band t-shirt that looked so
bad under my daggy dress shirt now makes sense in the
‘rocker/metal/bikie’, style of denim and leather.

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 Not looking at camera. Tight suit, cool sunnies. Looks like the
paparazzi snapped a candid photo of me at a film premiere. Or I’m
in Ocean’s 11 about to pull off a classy Casino heist.

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 This photo took at least 60 takes to get all the balances correct.
In the first 45 attempts my posture looked really weird so we had to
play around with different angles to get it right, while also
capturing the city, his pipe, my cigarette, and flattering both of us
with good facial expressions. Story it tells: some hipster creative
type, probably an author who still uses typewriters, lives in the
inner suburbs of a creative city. She can go to art exhibitions with
him, check out cool cafes, go see live music, have picnics, and do
cute retro-nostalgic stuff together.

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 Funny pose for such a serious photo-shoot. What was this shoot
for? Why are they all dressed so well but doing something that
doesn’t look corporate? Who is this guy? Intrigue and mystery and
created.

If you need to get your fashion sense and style overhauled, we

can help. Jess Jules is the one who helped me create a whole new
style. She can help you too. Send in an enquiry form on
http://www.thenaturallifestyles.com/

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 Your Bio

My Bio says only one word: “Zen”.

I rely on the strength of my photos to get matches and replies on
Tinder. If you are a tall guy you can also put your height. Studies
also showed that the most popular words in online dating profiles
were ‘yoga’ and ‘surfing’.
Try to keep it to a minimum, the more you write, the more
things there are for a girl to instantly pick on and decide she doesn’t
like you.

Maximize Your Swipes

My tinder strategy is the same as every other guy who’s used it for
more than a week: swipe every girl right and review which ones
match you back. It’s the most time efficient.
You can use an app to do this for you. I used Tools For Tinder. It’s
free, not super easy to figure out how to use, but if you can
manage, you can swipe 500 girls at a time.

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 Deception

One thing to look out for with online dating is deception.

Anonymous profiles and the ease at which accounts can be created
and pictures stolen means that it is a breeding ground for hackers
and scams. Most of these are very easy to spot.
Sometimes you will get prostitutes writing to you, offering you
sex for money. Some are not offering live sex but invite you to their
webcam chat page where you have to pay money to watch them
strip.

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 One scam I heard about was a girl being very flirty, creating a
profile that looks real enough and with a bio that presents her as a
girl next door type of who is curious about meeting new guys.

Here is her profile pictures:

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 This is the conversation exchange they had.

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 The guy who sent me this exchange said:
This is the scam where they extort money off you via western
union for anywhere from $1000 up to $5000, and if you don’t pay
up, they will send your dick pics to all your Facebook friends and
family. They find your Facebook easy because your Tinder is linked

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to Facebook. Not hard to trace via name and Google image reverse
search.

This is what happens when you Google image search her profile
picture, showing that it’s clearly a stock model photo that has been
stolen.

Don’t let this make you paranoid. The warning signs to look for
are incredibly attractive girls in model poses, girls who have less
than five photos, girls who are overly flirting.

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 Sometimes someone will program a bot Tinder profile that will
automatically send you messages. They will go something like this:
“Hi, how are you!”
Then no matter what you write their program will reply
something like,
“Cool. What do you do for work” or something else generic.
Then after a few more exchanges they’ll say “You can find me at
supersquirtgirls.com/sluttystacy, come and watch my show baby”.
I'm sure by this stage you will know you're not talking to a real
female human.

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 Another thing to be aware of is women being very creative with
the angles of their photos, creating images that look almost nothing
like what they look like in real life.
One of my friends said “I think some women play their strengths
online, if they have nice juicy lips, sexy eyes, and cleavage, they’re
obviously going to play that up in their photos. And then when the
guy rocks up on the date and she is much larger than he expected,
she’s gambling on the fact that most guys are so desperate for sex
that they’ll just do it anyway. Using a combination of deception to
get him on the date and charm to seduce him once he’s there, she’s
guaranteed to get laid regularly.”
This leads me to the next point: what to do if you arrive on the
date and you’re not attracted to the girl. This can happen for a
number of reasons: maybe you guys don’t flirt well, maybe you find
out your lifestyles are incompatible (e.g. She’s a family-orientated
Evangelical Christian and you’re a Satan worshipping metal head),
maybe she reminds you of a past lover and it hits too close to
home. But most of the time with online dating, the main reason
you’re going to decide you’re not interested in pursuing the
relationship further is that her photos were deceptive and you’re not
physically attracted to her once you arrive on the date.
Although this might make you frustrated, this doesn’t give you
license to be a jerk. You can still be respectful to her as a person
and just be clear about the fact that you’re not interested.

This is the core of Direct, Natural Seduction: it’s not just an

opener, it’s a mindset. Being direct doesn’t just mean saying “Hey, I
thought you were hot and wanted to say hi.”
It’s relevant in moments like this, where you have to be clear but
respectful about what your intentions are.

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 Keep in mind that she has taken the time out of her day to come
and meet you. You approach women and want them to at least give
you a chance and be civil in their dealings with you: extend this
same courtesy to a women who has taken the time to prepare
herself and come meet you.
It can be a painful feeling, when you’re not getting the women
you want, and the one that does turn up is someone you’re not
even slightly attracted to. It can feel like an insult. But this has
absolutely nothing to do with the girl who’s showed up for the date
and everything to do with your internal state. Don’t take out your
pain on her. Keep things polite.

For example: I met this girl on Tinder, and went to meet her. As
soon as I arrived, I knew there was zero chance of us having any
kind of romantic relationship. I said hi, and told her I had to go to
the shop to buy some cashews. This was true, I had planned to do
this errand anyway in case the date went badly so the hour was not
a total waste. Women will do this too when they are unsure about a
guy they’re meeting: arrange to meet a friend later or arrange the
date in a place where they have to be anyway.
She agreed to come for the walk, and we chatted on the way
there. Once I got the cashews we left the shop and I bit the bullet.
“Hey, I'm gonna be super honest. I'm a very intuitive person, and I
can tell very quickly when I have a spark with someone. I can
already feel we don’t have that connection, so I think it’s best if we
just say goodbye now. Nice meeting you, have a good day!”
She received this very warmly and we shared a friendly hug
before going our separate ways. No harm done.

I had a similar situation in Budapest. I met a girl on Tinder, and

she told me to come to meet her at a bar. I walked there, and spent
a tense ten minutes waiting outside, before I realized she was

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sitting across the road. Her and her friend were there, and she was
literally twice the size that she appeared in the photos.
I sat with them and asked them about their night, all three of us
walked down the street a bit, smoked a cigarette, and then told
them I was really tired and that I should go home.
“Ok… sorry we weren’t cool enough for you” she said passive
aggressively. I didn’t bite, and just smiled and said “Have a good
night.”
I wasn’t going to enter into any mind games with her or respond
to her aggression with more of it. Every person that makes you
mad to the point that you retaliate stays with you, mentally. This is
a general principle I live my life by. Here is another story that
demonstrates this further:
I was in a taxi, and a heroin addict rode his bike slowly onto the
road in front of the car.
“What the fuck are you doing, mate!” the taxi driver yelled in his
half-Indian, half-Australian accent.
“Get fucked cunt!” said the junkie.
“You have a big fucking problem, mate?”
“Just drive off ya dickhead”
“Get your bike off the road, you asshole!”
“Hey” I said to the taxi driver, touching him on his shoulder, “let
it go. He clearly has bigger problems in his life. This yelling achieves
nothing.”
He drove off, muttering to himself. “You know”, I continued,
“every time you let your anger flare up like that at a stranger, you
take a piece of them away with you. You graft a piece of the
frustration you felt onto your soul and carry it around. Do you really
want that guys energy with you, sitting inside your head all day?”
“Well, I think with people like that you have to put them in their
place. If someone doesn’t tell him that he was doing the wrong
thing, then who will!”

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 You can argue both ways about this all day but I think my
philosophy leaves you with a much clearer head and much more
personal energy. I would rather pour my energy into my friends and
family, making people smile, working on music, coaching my
clients, writing my books and blogs, making videos, going to the
gym, dancing, laughing, and all the other infinite expressions of
human potential than yelling at a stranger addicted to narcotics in
some vain hope he will change. It’s like yelling at the ocean trying
to tell it to stop being so god damn wet.

In a roundabout way, the same goes for confrontations in the

dating world, including dates that end badly. Don’t get sucked into
the short-term power trip of saying something scathing to a girl
who frustrates you on a date. Over a longer scale this mindset and
behaviour pattern makes you bitter and causes you to look at the
world through twisted, jaded lenses. You don’t need that energy in
your life. As a wise relative of mine used to say “Give up the
addiction to being ‘right’, and your life gets easier.”

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 Swipe Right!

Online dating can be fun. It’s a great way to meet girls, but it can
never replace the personal growth and power that approaching
women gives you. The skills you will learn from approaching women
in real life are all directly transferable to online dating. You still
need to know:

- How to look a woman in the eye

- How to greet her when you first arrive on the date
- How to touch her
- What to write to her

If you are going on the date backed up with the knowledge that
you can go and approach more women and line up more dates, you
are coming from a position of choice and power. Considering how
needy and desperate most guys are, this is a refreshing and
attractive energy to bring on a date.
Make online dating a healthy part of your balanced dating life!

Remember that every girl dating online is looking for someone.

That someone could be you, and you don’t necessarily have to meet
her online, you could met her anywhere. My housemate said “I just
like swiping on Tinder because every cute girl I swipe I think ‘She’s
single, and out there walking around a shopping centre right now
waiting for me to come say hi!’”
The same girls you see on Tinder are out at gigs, having drinks at
bars, shopping for groceries, walking their dog. Go and say to one
today!

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 If you’re inspired by these stories and want to learn from me in
person, come and join me on one of our live training workshops!

You can apply to find out about a program running in your city
here:
www.thenaturallifestyles.com

My Facebook:
hwww.facebook.com/liam.mcraetnl

My Like page:
www.facebook.com/liammcraerants

TNL Youtube:
www.youtube.com/user/thenaturaltv

My Youtube:
www.youtube.com/user/LiamMcRaeRants

Instagram:
www.instagram.com/theliammcrae

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 About the Author

Liam McRae is the Head of the Australian branch of The Natural

Lifestyles, and an Executive Seduction and Lifestyle coach.
Specialist in Rapid Sexual Escalation, Social Freedom, power mindsets
and infield wizardry. Leads residential workshops in Australia.
Coaches on all Euro Tours and many European and USA residentials.
He is also an obsessive musician, recording heavy metal which you can
find on YouTube.

Contact: http://www.thenaturallifestyles.com/team/liam-mcrae/

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