The Christian Dimensions of Marriage

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THE CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

To give a background on the status of marriages in the Philippines, here are some
figures in the year 2016 according to Philippine Statistics Authority: (release date 02-
26-18)

• Data on marriages presented in this release were obtained from the Certificates of
Marriage (Municipal Form No. 97). They were registered at the Office of the
City/Municipal Civil Registrars throughout the country and forwarded to the Philippine
Statistics Authority.

• In a span of 10 years, the reported number of marriages decreased by 14.4 percent


from 2007 to 2016. However, the number of registered marriages showed a generally
decreasing trend from 2007 to 2016, but with speed of decrease varying for figures 2007-
2012, 2012-2016 with shifts in level in 2009, 2012 and in 2015.

• Highest number of marriages in CALABARZON: In 2016, Region IV-A recorded the


highest number of registered marriages, which accounted for 13.0 percent of the total
marriages. It was followed by National Capital Region (NCR) (12.7%) and Region III
(11.8%) with the rank second and third, respectively. These regions were consistently in
the top three for the past five years. Furthermore, Region V showed the highest percent
change of increase (1.8%) from 2015 to 2016. On the other hand, NCR had the highest
percent change of decrease (13.0%).

• Most number of couples married in April: The top three months with recorded high
number of marriages in 2016 occurred in April (52,587 or 12.5%), February (12.3%) and
May (10.8%). But November was the least liked month for marriage, recording the
lowest number of 20,875 marriages or 5 percent.

• Women married younger than men: The median age of the women that got married in
2016 was two years lower than the median age of their male counterparts. This was
consistently observed in the past three years.

• Most brides married between ages 20-24 years: About one-third of the brides married
at age group 20- 24 (139,067 or 33.1%) while grooms at age group 25-29 (149,187 or
35.6%). Meanwhile, marriages involving teenage brides were four times more than
teenage grooms. It was also observed that there were some marriages involving
adolescents under 15 years old.

• Four out of ten marriages contracted through civil rites: There were 1,147 marriages
solemnized daily through different types of ceremony. Of the total marriages in 2016,
41.6 percent were contracted through civil rites. Others were either officiated in the
Roman Catholic Church (37.5%), or performed in Muslim tradition (1.2%) or tribal
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ceremony (0.7%) and other religious rites (19.0%). It could be noted that more brides and
grooms aged 25-29 preferred to be solemnized in the Roman Catholic Church than any
other types of marriage ceremony.

• Filipino brides and grooms also marry other nationalities: There were 404,556
marriages (96.4%) between Filipino grooms and Filipino brides while 15,072 (3.6%)
involved foreign nationals. Among foreign nationals, the highest frequency of
intermarriages involved Filipino grooms and Australians (317) followed by Americans
(279), Canadians (162) and Chinese brides (157). On the other hand, the highest numbers
of intermarriages were between Filipino brides and American grooms (3,081). Other
foreign nationals who married Filipino brides were Japanese (1,585), Australian (925),
British (862), Korean (781) and Canadian (769).

Based on the data presented above, the Philippine Church serves as a modern-day
prophet in preserving and protecting Filipino marriages and families. With its decreasing
number of couples who are getting married and do not believe in the sanctity of marriage,
it is every Christian‘s mission to uphold the message of the Gospel and the teachings of
the Church. As one enters into married life, he/she has the purpose of sharing in the same
mission of Christ in building the Kingdom of God and creating a world full of love, peace
and hope. The Catholic Bishops‘ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) concretizes its
mission by expressing its stance against the House of Representatives‘ Committee on
Population and Family Relations that unanimously approved the proposed legislation
entitled an ―Act Instituting Absolute Divorce in the Philippines.ǁ

The CBCP‘s Episcopal Commission on Family and Life, chaired by Archbishop


Gilbert A. Garcera, issued a pastoral statement last February 23, 2018 condemning the
proposed divorce bill. The pastoral letter stressed the following:

• That marriage is an ―inviolable social institutionǁ – the foundation of the


family – which shall be protected by the state as enshrined in the Constitution.

• ―Children deserve a home where love, faithfulness, and forgiveness reign. In


particular, they don‘t want to see their parents quit because there are difficulties in their
relationship.ǁ

• ―The sight of their parents persevering together will always remain with them
especially when they will have their own families.ǁ

• Referring to marriage, that ―what God has joined together, no human being
must separate.ǁ
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I. MARRIAGE IS A VOCATION

The Second Vatican Council teaches that ―all Christians in whatever state or walk of
life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity. 1 Our call,
whether to married life, single blessedness, priesthood or religious life, is a way of
exemplifying the universal call to holiness bestowed on us in the Sacrament of Baptism.
As taken from the letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians: ―All those who are baptized are
saints, that is, they have all been raised to the sphere of God‘s holiness. 2 We have our
unique response to the Lord who draws us back to Him and invites us: ―Come, follow
me. 3 ― The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they
came from the hand of the Creator. 4 ―God who created man out of love also calls
him/her to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is
created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love. Since God created him
man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love
with which God loves man. 5 ―Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the
many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social
structures, and spiritual attitudes. 6 ―It is in reality the wise and provident institution of
God the Creator, whose purpose was to effect in man His loving design. Husband and
wife, through that mutual gift of themselves, which is specific and exclusive to them
alone, develop that union of two persons in which they perfect one another, cooperating
with God in the generation and rearing new lives. 7―Marriage is a vocation. It is a
response to a specific call to experience conjugal love as an imperfect sign of the love
between Christ and the Church. 8 As Paul explains in his letter to the Ephesians, ―Christ
loved the Church so much that He gave His life for her. 9 This understanding of love led
Him to embrace an excruciating death on the cross. Marital life certainly shares in the
Paschal Mystery of Christ, which calls for sacrificial love. Man and woman accept each
other, as ―they promise a total self- giving, faithfulness and openness to new life. The
couple recognizes these elements as constitutive of marriage, gifts offered to them by
God, and take seriously their mutual commitment, in God‘s name and in the presence of
the Church. 10


1
Lumen Gentium 40.
2
1 Corinthians 1:2, 30; 6:11
3
Matthew 4:19
4
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1603.
5
Ibid 1604.
6
Ibid 1603.
7
Humanae Vitae, 8
8
Amoris Laetitia, 72.
9
Ephesians 5:25.
10
Relatio Synodi 2014, 21.
4

II. MARRIAGE AS A CONTRACT

Marriage as a contract is based on an agreement between a man and a woman to


become husband and wife. This permanent union adheres and protects the sanctity of
their life-long relationship. As stated in the Family Code of the Philippines:―Marriage is
a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in
accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. It is the foundation
of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature, consequences, and
incidents are governed by law and not subject to stipulation by the spouses. 11

Looking at its nature, it ought to be governed by laws and regulations. ―The contract
establishes between the parties a social or domestic relationship, that of husband and
wife; the obligations arising from there do not come from the parties, but are the
creations of law. 12 The contracting parties do not set the terms of the agreement that
established their conjugal and family life nor could they terminate the contract at will. It
is the state that protects marriage and reserves to itself the right to void or render voidable
the contract.

In the Encyclical letter of Pope Pius XI on Christian Marriage Casti Connubii, he


highlighted that ―matrimony was not instituted or restored by man but by God; not by
man were the laws made to strengthen and confirm and elevate it but by God, the Author
of nature, and by Christ Our Lord by Whom nature was redeemed, and hence, these laws
cannot be subject to any human decrees or to any contrary pact even of the spouses
themselves. 13

However, the free will of both man and woman plays a pivotal role. Marriage, in the
same way, arises from the free consent of each of the spouses. ―And this free act of the
will, by which each party hands over and accepts those rights proper to the state of
marriage. This freedom regards the question whether the contracting parties really wish
to enter upon matrimony or to marry this particular person; but the nature of matrimony
is entirely independent of the free will of man, so that if one has once contracted
matrimony he is thereby subject to its divinely made laws and its essential properties.14

The matrimonial consent is an indispensable element in the validity of the marriage


contract. ―The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be
indispensable elements that make the marriage. If consent is lacking there is no marriage.


11
Executive No. 209. July 6, 1987. The Family Code of the Philippines.
12
Artemio A. Baluma, 1990. Void and Voidable Marriages in the Family Code and their
parallels in Canon Law
13
Casti Connubii, 5.
14
Casti Connubii, 6.
5

15
―It consists in a human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each
other: ―I take you to be my wife ―I take you to be my husband.ǁ This consent that binds
the spouses to each other finds its fulfillment in two becoming one flesh. 16 ―The priest
(or deacon) who assists at the celebration of marriage receives the consent of the spouses
in the name of the Church and gives the blessing of the Church. The presence of the
Church's minister (and also of the witnesses) visibly expresses the fact that marriage is an
ecclesial reality. 17

―The marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a
marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be
dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their
consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a
covenant guaranteed by God's fidelity. The Church does not have the power to
contravene this disposition of divine wisdom. 18

III. MARRIAGE AS A COVENANT

―The Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: "It
is not good that the man should be alone." (Gen. 2:18) The woman, "flesh of his flesh,"
his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by God as a "helpmate"; she thus
represents God from whom comes our help. "Therefore a man leaves his father and his
mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh." (Gen. 2:24) The Lord
himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what
the plan of the Creator had been "in the beginning": "So they are no longer two, but one
flesh. (Mt. 19:6)" 19

In the Jewish tradition, ―covenants are established by making an oath—an oath that
creates kinship between the two who are making the covenant. The Hebrew word for
oath‘ is „shevah,‘ meaning to seven oneself.‘ In Gen 21:27 31, Abraham makes a treaty
with Abimelech using seven ewe lambs, and they called the place „Beersheva,‟ which
means, the place of the oath‘ or the well of the sevens.‘ If you do not have an oath, you
don't have a covenant. 20

The covenant of love between God and His people is an essential part of the
Revelation and faith experience of Israel. God took the initiative to establish that


15
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1626
16
Ibid 1627.
17
Ibid 1630.
18
Ibid 1640.
19
Ibid 1605.
20
David Kyle Foster. Covenant: The Heart of the Marriage Mystery
6

relationship: ―I will be your God, and you will be my people. 21 In the course of history,
despite the stubbornness of heart of the Israelites, He endures in His love and remains
faithful to His promise of salvation. He established a new covenant by sending His only
begotten Son. ―The communion between God and His people finds its definitive
fulfillment in Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom who loves and gives Himself as the Savior of
humanity, uniting it to Himself as His body. 22 By means of Baptism, man and woman
are definitively set within the new and eternal covenant, in the spousal covenant of Christ
with the Church. ―And it is because of this indestructible insertion that the intimate
community of conjugal life and love, founded by the Creator, 23 is elevated and assumed
into the spousal charity of Christ, sustained and enriched by His redeeming power.

A marriage covenant, therefore, is more than a mere contractual agreement. It is


based on the personal commitment and total giving of oneself to someone whom you‘ve
made a pact. This covenantal love is to be found in man and woman united in marriage
which constitutes a special union, a life-long relationship.

IV. MARRIAGE AS A CELEBRATION

Marriage is a celebration of love that should be open for all. It is like the wedding
Feast of the Lamb wherein everyone is invited to come for a joyous celebration:
―Blessed are those who are called to the supper of the Lamb.24 Jesus Christ, the Lamb of
God, is illustrated as a bridegroom joining himself to his bride, the Church. The priest at
the Mass more clearly echoes this angelic invitation to the heavenly wedding feast. In a
sense, we are receiving a wedding invitation.

―In the Latin Rite the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally
takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the
Paschal mystery of Christ. In the Eucharist the memorial of the New Covenant is
realized, the New Covenant in which Christ has united himself for ever to the Church, his
beloved bride for whom he gave himself up. It is therefore fitting that the spouses should
seal their consent to give themselves to each other through the offering of their own lives
by uniting it to the offering of Christ for his Church made present in the Eucharistic
sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist so that, communicating in the same Body and
the same Blood of Christ, they may form but "one body" in Christ. 25

Marriage is a public declaration of the couple‘s love-commitment before God and the

21
Genesis 17:1
22
Familiaris Consortio, 13.
23
Gaudium et Spes, 48.
24
Revelation 19:9. 1
25
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1621
7

Church. As the man and the woman enter into this definitive stage of their married life,
the Church requires a set of ecclesiastical and liturgical form to make certain its validity.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church expounds on why the Church requires that the
faithful contract marriage according to ecclesiastical form:

―Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. It is therefore appropriate that it should be


celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church. Marriage introduces one into an
ecclesiastical order, and creates rights and duties in the Church between spouses towards
the children. Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainly it is necessary
(hence, the obligation to have witnesses). The public character of the consent protects the
―I doǁ once given, and helps the spouses to remain faithful to it. 26

This requires the bride and the groom to express willfully and publicly their
matrimonial consent to have each other before the presence of an officiating priest and
witnesses: ―In the Name of God, I take you to be my wife (husband), to have and to
hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in
health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

V. MARRIAGE AS A SACRAMENT

On the threshold of his public life Jesus performs his first sign - at his mother's
request - during a wedding feast. The Church attaches great importance to Jesus' presence
at the wedding at Cana. She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and
the proclamation that henceforth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ's presence.
27
He dwells with the married couple, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and
follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one
another's burdens, to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,‘28 and to love
one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love.29 In the joys of their love and
family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb.

How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church,
strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by
the Father? How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in
desire, one in discipline, one in the same service! They are both children of one Father
and servants of the same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh.


26
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1631.
27
Catechism of the Catholic Church 1613.
28
Ephesians 5:21
29 Catechism of the Catholic Church 1642
8

Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.30

Marriage, like the other six ritual sacraments of the Catholic Church, is a sign or
symbol that reveals the Mystery of Jesus Christ and through which His divine life and
love are communicated to us human beings. This arose from the ministry that was
instituted by Christ. It was entrusted to the Church to be celebrated in one Baptism within
and for the faithful. God‘s love becomes present to the couple in their sacramental union.
By their permanent, faithful and exclusive giving to each other, the couple unveils the
unconditional love of God. Their married life becomes sacramental to the extent that the
couple shares with God‘s salvific action and serves as living witness of Christ in the
ordinary and concrete way.

The Apostle Paul makes clear when he says: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ
loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her," adding at once:
"'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
the two shall become one. This is a great mystery, in reference to Christ and the
Church."31

―The Church teaches that there are two effects of marriage: the indissoluble marital
bond and the grace of the sacrament proper to the married state of life. 32 Sacrament
effects grace when God shares the divine life with the husband and wife and gives them
the strength to keep on despite its odds and adversities. The grace also gives help to be
lovingly faithful to each other and to be responsible parents to their children. As Blessed
Pope Paul VI states: ―By it [the Sacrament of Matrimony] husband and wife are
strengthened and...consecrated for the faithful accomplishment of their proper duties, for
the carrying out of their proper vocation even to perfection, and the Christian witness
which is proper to them before the whole world. 33


30 Tertullian, Ad uxorem. 2,8,6-7:PL 1,1412- 1413; cf. FC 13.
31 Catechism of the Catholic Church 1616.

32
Ibid 1638.
33 Humanae Vitae, 25.

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