Poe, Edgar Allan - Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe PDF
Poe, Edgar Allan - Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe PDF
Poe, Edgar Allan - Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe PDF
The Assignation
Berenice
Bon-Bon
Diddling
Duc De L'Omelette
Eleonora
The Gold-Bug
Hop Frog
King Pest
Landor's Cottage
Landscape Garden
Ligeia
Lionizing
Loss of Breath
Maelzel's Chess-Player
Mellonta Tauta
Mesmeric Revelation
Metzengerstein
Morella
Mystification
Oblong Box
Predicament
Shadow -- A Parable
Silence -- A Fable
Spectacles
Sphinx
A Tale of Jerusalem
William Wilson
X-ing a Paragrab
THE ANGEL OF THE ODD: AN EXTRAVAGANZA
IT was a chilly November afternoon. I had just consummated an unusually hearty dinner, of which the
dyspeptic truffe formed not the least important item, and was sitting alone in the dining-room, with my
feet upon the fender, and at my elbow a small table which I had rolled up to the fire, and upon which were
some apologies for dessert, with some miscellaneous bottles of wine, spirit and liqueur. In the morning I
had been reading Glover's "Leonidas," Wilkie's "Epigoniad," Lamartine's "Pilgrimage," Barlow's
"Columbiad," Tuckermann's "Sicily," and Griswold's "Curiosities"; I am willing to confess, therefore, that I
now felt a little stupid. I made effort to arouse myself by aid of frequent Lafitte, and, all failing, I betook
myself to a stray newspaper in despair. Having carefully perused the column of "houses to let," and the
column of "dogs lost," and then the two columns of "wives and apprentices runaway," I attacked with
great resolution the editorial matter, and, reading it from beginning to end without understanding a
syllable, conceived the possibility of its being Chinese, and so re-read it from the end to the beginning,
but with no more satisfactory result. I was about throwing away, in disgust,
"This folio of four pages, happy work Which not even critics criticise,"
"The avenues to death are numerous and strange. A London paper mentions the decease of a person from
a singular cause. He was playing at 'puff the dart,' which is played with a long needle inserted in some
worsted, and blown at a target through a tin tube. He placed the needle at the wrong end of the tube, and
drawing his breath strongly to puff the dart forward with force, drew the needle into his throat. It entered
the lungs, and in a few days killed him."
Upon seeing this I fell into a great rage, without exactly knowing why. "This thing," I exclaimed, "is a
contemptible falsehood - a poor hoax - the lees of the invention of some pitiable penny-a-liner - of some
wretched concoctor of accidents in Cocaigne. These fellows, knowing the extravagant gullibility of the
age, set their wits to work in the imagination of improbable possibilities - of odd accidents, as they term
them; but to a reflecting intellect (like mine," I added, in parenthesis, putting my forefinger unconsciously
to the side of my nose,) "to a contemplative understanding such as I myself possess, it seems evident at
once that the marvelous increase of late in these 'odd accidents' is by far the oddest accident of all. For
my own part, I intend to believe nothing henceforward that has anything of the 'singular' about it."
"Mein Gott, den, vat a vool you bees for dat!" replied one of the most remarkable voices I ever heard. At
first I took it for a rumbling in my ears - such as a man sometimes experiences when getting very drunk -
but, upon second thought, I considered the sound as more nearly resembling that which proceeds from an
empty barrel beaten with a big stick; and, in fact, this I should have concluded it to be, but for the
articulation of the syllables and words. I am by no means naturally nervous, and the very few glasses of
Lafitte which I had sipped served to embolden me no little, so that I felt nothing of trepidation, but merely
uplifted my eyes with a leisurely movement, and looked carefully around the room for the intruder. I could
not, however, perceive any one at all.
"Humph!" resumed the voice, as I continued my survey, "you mus pe so dronk as de pig, den, for not zee
me as I zit here at your zide."
Hereupon I bethought me of looking immediately before my nose, and there, sure enough, confronting me
at the table sat a personage nondescript, although not altogether indescribable. His body was a wine-
pipe, or a rum-puncheon, or something of that character, and had a truly Falstaffian air. In its nether
extremity were inserted two kegs, which seemed to answer all the purposes of legs. For arms there
dangled from the upper portion of the carcass two tolerably long bottles, with the necks outward for
hands. All the head that I saw the monster possessed of was one of those Hessian canteens which
resemble a large snuff-box with a hole in the middle of the lid. This canteen (with a funnel on its top, like
a cavalier cap slouched over the eyes) was set on edge upon the puncheon, with the hole toward myself;
and through this hole, which seemed puckered up like the mouth of a very precise old maid, the creature
was emitting certain rumbling and grumbling noises which he evidently intended for intelligible talk.
"I zay," said he, "you mos pe dronk as de pig, vor zit dare and not zee me zit ere; and I zay, doo, you mos
pe pigger vool as de goose, vor to dispelief vat iz print in de print. 'Tiz de troof - dat it iz - eberry vord ob
it."
"Who are you, pray?" said I, with much dignity, although somewhat puzzled; "how did you get here? and
what is it you are talking about?"
"Az vor ow I com'd ere," replied the figure, "dat iz none of your pizzness; and as vor vat I be talking apout,
I be talk apout vat I tink proper; and as vor who I be, vy dat is de very ting I com'd here for to let you zee
for yourzelf."
"You are a drunken vagabond," said I, "and I shall ring the bell and order my footman to kick you into the
street."
"He! he! he!" said the fellow, "hu! hu! hu! dat you can't do."
"Ring de pell;" he replied, attempting a grin with his little villanous mouth.
Upon this I made an effort to get up, in order to put my threat into execution; but the ruffian just reached
across the table very deliberately, and hitting me a tap on the forehead with the neck of one of the long
bottles, knocked me back into the arm-chair from which I had half arisen. I was utterly astounded; and,
for a moment, was quite at a loss what to do. In the meantime, he continued his talk.
"You zee," said he, "it iz te bess vor zit still; and now you shall know who I pe. Look at me! zee! I am te
Angel ov te Odd."
"And odd enough, too," I ventured to reply; "but I was always under the impression that an angel had
wings."
"Te wing!" he cried, highly incensed, "vat I pe do mit te wing? Mein Gott! do you take me vor a shicken?"
"No - oh no!" I replied, much alarmed, "you are no chicken - certainly not."
"Well, den, zit still and pehabe yourself, or I'll rap you again mid me vist. It iz te shicken ab te wing, und
te owl ab te wing, und te imp ab te wing, und te head-teuffel ab te wing. Te angel ab not te wing, and I am
te Angel ov te Odd."
"My pizzness!" ejaculated the thing, "vy vat a low bred buppy you mos pe vor to ask a gentleman und an
angel apout his pizziness!"
This language was rather more than I could bear, even from an angel; so, plucking up courage, I seized a
salt-cellar which lay within reach, and hurled it at the head of the intruder. Either he dodged, however, or
my aim was inaccurate; for all I accomplished was the demolition of the crystal which protected the dial
of the clock upon the mantel-piece. As for the Angel, he evinced his sense of my assault by giving me two
or three hard consecutive raps upon the forehead as before. These reduced me at once to submission, and
I am almost ashamed to confess that either through pain or vexation, there came a few tears into my eyes.
"Mein Gott!" said the Angel of the Odd, apparently much softened at my distress; "mein Gott, te man is
eder ferry dronk or ferry zorry. You mos not trink it so strong - you mos put te water in te wine. Here,
trink dis, like a goot veller, und don't gry now - don't!"
Hereupon the Angel of the Odd replenished my goblet (which was about a third full of Port) with a
colorless fluid that he poured from one of his hand bottles. I observed that these bottles had labels about
their necks, and that these labels were inscribed "Kirschenwasser."
The considerate kindness of the Angel mollified me in no little measure; and, aided by the water with
which he diluted my Port more than once, I at length regained sufficient temper to listen to his very
extraordinary discourse. I cannot pretend to recount all that he told me, but I gleaned from what he said
that he was the genius who presided over the contretemps of mankind, and whose business it was to
bring about the odd accidents which are continually astonishing the skeptic. Once or twice, upon my
venturing to express my total incredulity in respect to his pretensions, he grew very angry indeed, so that
at length I considered it the wiser policy to say nothing at all, and let him have his own way. He talked on,
therefore, at great length, while I merely leaned back in my chair with my eyes shut, and amused myself
with munching raisins and filliping the stems about the room. But, by-and-by, the Angel suddenly
construed this behavior of mine into contempt. He arose in a terrible passion, slouched his funnel down
over his eyes, swore a vast oath, uttered a threat of some character which I did not precisely
comprehend, and finally made me a low bow and departed, wishing me, in the language of the archbishop
in Gil-Blas, "beaucoup de bonheur et un peu plus de bon sens."
His departure afforded me relief. The very few glasses of Lafitte that I had sipped had the effect of
rendering me drowsy, and I felt inclined to take a nap of some fifteen or twenty minutes, as is my custom
after dinner. At six I had an appointment of consequence, which it was quite indispensable that I should
keep. The policy of insurance for my dwelling house had expired the day before; and, some dispute having
arisen, it was agreed that, at six, I should meet the board of directors of the company and settle the terms
of a renewal. Glancing upward at the clock on the mantel-piece, (for I felt too drowsy to take out my
watch), I had the pleasure to find that I had still twenty-five minutes to spare. It was half past five; I could
easily walk to the insurance office in five minutes; and my usual siestas had never been known to exceed
five and twenty. I felt sufficiently safe, therefore, and composed myself to my slumbers forthwith.
Having completed them to my satisfaction, I again looked toward the time-piece and was half inclined to
believe in the possibility of odd accidents when I found that, instead of my ordinary fifteen or twenty
minutes, I had been dozing only three; for it still wanted seven and twenty of the appointed hour. I betook
myself again to my nap, and at length a second time awoke, when, to my utter amazement, it still wanted
twenty-seven minutes of six. I jumped up to examine the clock, and found that it had ceased running. My
watch informed me that it was half past seven; and, of course, having slept two hours, I was too late for
my appointment. "It will make no difference," I said: "I can call at the office in the morning and apologize;
in the meantime what can be the matter with the clock?" Upon examining it I discovered that one of the
raisin stems which I had been filliping about the room during the discourse of the Angel of the Odd, had
flown through the fractured crystal, and lodging, singularly enough, in the key-hole, with an end
projecting outward, had thus arrested the revolution of the minute hand.
"Ah!" said I, "I see how it is. This thing speaks for itself. A natural accident, such as will happen now and
then!"
I gave the matter no further consideration, and at my usual hour retired to bed. Here, having placed a
candle upon a reading stand at the bed head, and having made an attempt to peruse some pages of the
"Omnipresence of the Deity," I unfortunately fell asleep in less than twenty seconds, leaving the light
burning as it was.
My dreams were terrifically disturbed by visions of the Angel of the Odd. Methought he stood at the foot
of the couch, drew aside the curtains, and, in the hollow, detestable tones of a rum puncheon, menaced
me with the bitterest vengeance for the contempt with which I had treated him. He concluded a long
harangue by taking off his funnel-cap, inserting the tube into my gullet, and thus deluging me with an
ocean of Kirschenwässer, which he poured, in a continuous flood, from one of the long necked bottles that
stood him instead of an arm. My agony was at length insufferable, and I awoke just in time to perceive
that a rat had ran off with the lighted candle from the stand, but not in season to prevent his making his
escape with it through the hole. Very soon, a strong suffocating odor assailed my nostrils; the house, I
clearly perceived, was on fire. In a few minutes the blaze broke forth with violence, and in an incredibly
brief period the entire building was wrapped in flames. All egress from my chamber, except through a
window, was cut off. The crowd, however, quickly procured and raised a long ladder. By means of this I
was descending rapidly, and in apparent safety, when a huge hog, about whose rotund stomach, and
indeed about whose whole air and physiognomy, there was something which reminded me of the Angel of
the Odd, - when this hog, I say, which hitherto had been quietly slumbering in the mud, took it suddenly
into his head that his left shoulder needed scratching, and could find no more convenient rubbing-post
than that afforded by the foot of the ladder. In an instant I was precipitated and had the misfortune to
fracture my arm.
This accident, with the loss of my insurance, and with the more serious loss of my hair, the whole of which
had been singed off by the fire, predisposed me to serious impressions, so that, finally, I made up my mind
to take a wife. There was a rich widow disconsolate for the loss of her seventh husband, and to her
wounded spirit I offered the balm of my vows. She yielded a reluctant consent to my prayers. I knelt at
her feet in gratitude and adoration. She blushed and bowed her luxuriant tresses into close contact with
those supplied me, temporarily, by Grandjean. I know not how the entanglement took place, but so it was.
I arose with a shining pate, wigless; she in disdain and wrath, half buried in alien hair. Thus ended my
hopes of the widow by an accident which could not have been anticipated, to be sure, but which the
natural sequence of events had brought about.
Without despairing, however, I undertook the siege of a less implacable heart. The fates were again
propitious for a brief period; but again a trivial incident interfered. Meeting my betrothed in an avenue
thronged with the élite of the city, I was hastening to greet her with one of my best considered bows,
when a small particle of some foreign matter, lodging in the corner of my eye, rendered me, for the
moment, completely blind. Before I could recover my sight, the lady of my love had disappeared -
irreparably affronted at what she chose to consider my premeditated rudeness in passing her by
ungreeted. While I stood bewildered at the suddenness of this accident, (which might have happened,
nevertheless, to any one under the sun), and while I still continued incapable of sight, I was accosted by
the Angel of the Odd, who proffered me his aid with a civility which I had no reason to expect. He
examined my disordered eye with much gentleness and skill, informed me that I had a drop in it, and
(whatever a "drop" was) took it out, and afforded me relief.
I now considered it high time to die, (since fortune had so determined to persecute me,) and accordingly
made my way to the nearest river. Here, divesting myself of my clothes, (for there is no reason why we
cannot die as we were born), I threw myself headlong into the current; the sole witness of my fate being a
solitary crow that had been seduced into the eating of brandy-saturated corn, and so had staggered away
from his fellows. No sooner had I entered the water than this bird took it into its head to fly away with the
most indispensable portion of my apparel. Postponing, therefore, for the present, my suicidal design, I
just slipped my nether extremities into the sleeves of my coat, and betook myself to a pursuit of the felon
with all the nimbleness which the case required and its circumstances would admit. But my evil destiny
attended me still. As I ran at full speed, with my nose up in the atmosphere, and intent only upon the
purloiner of my property, I suddenly perceived that my feet rested no longer upon terra-firma; the fact is,
I had thrown myself over a precipice, and should inevitably have been dashed to pieces but for my good
fortune in grasping the end of a long guide-rope, which depended from a passing balloon.
As soon as I sufficiently recovered my senses to comprehend the terrific predicament in which I stood or
rather hung, I exerted all the power of my lungs to make that predicament known to the aeronaut
overhead. But for a long time I exerted myself in vain. Either the fool could not, or the villain would not
perceive me. Meantime the machine rapidly soared, while my strength even more rapidly failed. I was
soon upon the point of resigning myself to my fate, and dropping quietly into the sea, when my spirits
were suddenly revived by hearing a hollow voice from above, which seemed to be lazily humming an
opera air. Looking up, I perceived the Angel of the Odd. He was leaning with his arms folded, over the rim
of the car; and with a pipe in his mouth, at which he puffed leisurely, seemed to be upon excellent terms
with himself and the universe. I was too much exhausted to speak, so I merely regarded him with an
imploring air.
For several minutes, although he looked me full in the face, he said nothing. At length removing carefully
his meerschaum from the right to the left corner of his mouth, he condescended to speak.
To this piece of impudence, cruelty and affectation, I could reply only by ejaculating the monosyllable
"Help!"
"Elp!" echoed the ruffian - "not I. Dare iz te pottle - elp yourself, und pe tam'd!"
With these words he let fall a heavy bottle of Kirschenwasser which, dropping precisely upon the crown of
my head, caused me to imagine that my brains were entirely knocked out. Impressed with this idea, I was
about to relinquish my hold and give up the ghost with a good grace, when I was arrested by the cry of
the Angel, who bade me hold on.
"Old on!" he said; "don't pe in te urry - don't. Will you pe take de odder pottle, or ave you pe got zober yet
and come to your zenzes?"
I made haste, hereupon, to nod my head twice - once in the negative, meaning thereby that I would prefer
not taking the other bottle at present - and once in the affirmative, intending thus to imply that I was
sober and had positively come to my senses. By these means I somewhat softened the Angel.
"Und you pelief, ten," he inquired, "at te last? You pelief, ten, in te possibilty of te odd?"
I nodded again.
"Put your right hand into your left hand preeches pocket, ten, in token ov your vull zubmizzion unto te
Angel ov te Odd."
This thing, for very obvious reasons, I found it quite impossible to do. In the first place, my left arm had
been broken in my fall from the ladder, and, therefore, had I let go my hold with the right hand, I must
have let go altogether. In the second place, I could have no breeches until I came across the crow. I was
therefore obliged, much to my regret, to shake my head in the negative - intending thus to give the Angel
to understand that I found it inconvenient, just at that moment, to comply with his very reasonable
demand! No sooner, however, had I ceased shaking my head than -
In pronouncing these words, he drew a sharp knife across the guide-rope by which I was suspended, and
as we then happened to be precisely over my own house, (which, during my peregrinations, had been
handsomely rebuilt,) it so occurred that I tumbled headlong down the ample chimney and alit upon the
dining-room hearth.
Upon coming to my senses, (for the fall had very thoroughly stunned me,) I found it about four o'clock in
the morning. I lay outstretched where I had fallen from the balloon. My head grovelled in the ashes of an
extinguished fire, while my feet reposed upon the wreck of a small table, overthrown, and amid the
fragments of a miscellaneous dessert, intermingled with a newspaper, some broken glass and shattered
bottles, and an empty jug of the Schiedam Kirschenwasser. Thus revenged himself the Angel of the Odd.
THE ASSIGNATION
Stay for me there! I will not fail. To meet thee in that hollow vale. [Exequy on the death of his wife, by
Henry King, Bishop of Chichester.]
ILL-FATED and mysterious man! - bewildered in the brilliancy of thine own imagination, and fallen in the
flames of thine own youth! Again in fancy I behold thee! Once more thy form hath risen before me! - not -
oh not as thou art - in the cold valley and shadow - but as thou shouldst be - squandering away a life of
magnificent meditation in that city of dim visions, thine own Venice - which is a star-beloved Elysium of
the sea, and the wide windows of whose Palladian palaces look down with a deep and bitter meaning
upon the secrets of her silent waters. Yes! I repeat it - as thou shouldst be. There are surely other worlds
than this - other thoughts than the thoughts of the multitude - other speculations than the speculations of
the sophist. Who then shall call thy conduct into question? who blame thee for thy visionary hours, or
denounce those occupations as a wasting away of life, which were but the overflowings of thine
everlasting energies?
It was at Venice, beneath the covered archway there called the Ponte di Sospiri, that I met for the third or
fourth time the person of whom I speak. It is with a confused recollection that I bring to mind the
circumstances of that meeting. Yet I remember - ah! how should I forget? - the deep midnight, the Bridge
of Sighs, the beauty of woman, and the Genius of Romance that stalked up and down the narrow canal.
It was a night of unusual gloom. The great clock of the Piazza had sounded the fifth hour of the Italian
evening. The square of the Campanile lay silent and deserted, and the lights in the old Ducal Palace were
dying fast away. I was returning home from the Piazetta, by way of the Grand Canal. But as my gondola
arrived opposite the mouth of the canal San Marco, a female voice from its recesses broke suddenly upon
the night, in one wild, hysterical, and long continued shriek. Startled at the sound, I sprang upon my feet:
while the gondolier, letting slip his single oar, lost it in the pitchy darkness beyond a chance of recovery,
and we were consequently left to the guidance of the current which here sets from the greater into the
smaller channel. Like some huge and sable-feathered condor, we were slowly drifting down towards the
Bridge of Sighs, when a thousand flambeaux flashing from the windows, and down the staircases of the
Ducal Palace, turned all at once that deep gloom into a livid and preternatural day.
A child, slipping from the arms of its own mother, had fallen from an upper window of the lofty structure
into the deep and dim canal. The quiet waters had closed placidly over their victim; and, although my own
gondola was the only one in sight, many a stout swimmer, already in the stream, was seeking in vain upon
the surface, the treasure which was to be found, alas! only within the abyss. Upon the broad black marble
flagstones at the entrance of the palace, and a few steps above the water, stood a figure which none who
then saw can have ever since forgotten. It was the Marchesa Aphrodite - the adoration of all Venice - the
gayest of the gay - the most lovely where all were beautiful - but still the young wife of the old and
intriguing Mentoni, and the mother of that fair child, her first and only one, who now, deep beneath the
murky water, was thinking in bitterness of heart upon her sweet caresses, and exhausting its little life in
struggles to call upon her name.
She stood alone. Her small, bare, and silvery feet gleamed in the black mirror of marble beneath her. Her
hair, not as yet more than half loosened for the night from its ball-room array, clustered, amid a shower of
diamonds, round and round her classical head, in curls like those of the young hyacinth. A snowy-white
and gauze-like drapery seemed to be nearly the sole covering to her delicate form; but the mid-summer
and midnight air was hot, sullen, and still, and no motion in the statue-like form itself, stirred even the
folds of that raiment of very vapor which hung around it as the heavy marble hangs around the Niobe. Yet
- strange to say! - her large lustrous eyes were not turned downwards upon that grave wherein her
brightest hope lay buried - but riveted in a widely different direction! The prison of the Old Republic is, I
think, the stateliest building in all Venice - but how could that lady gaze so fixedly upon it, when beneath
her lay stifling her only child? Yon dark, gloomy niche, too, yawns right opposite her chamber window -
what, then, could there be in its shadows - in its architecture - in its ivy-wreathed and solemn cornices -
that the Marchesa di Mentoni had not wondered at a thousand times before? Nonsense! - Who does not
remember that, at such a time as this, the eye, like a shattered mirror, multiplies the images of its sorrow,
and sees in innumerable far-off places, the wo which is close at hand?
Many steps above the Marchesa, and within the arch of the water-gate, stood, in full dress, the Satyr-like
figure of Mentoni himself. He was occasionally occupied in thrumming a guitar, and seemed ennuye to the
very death, as at intervals he gave directions for the recovery of his child. Stupified and aghast, I had
myself no power to move from the upright position I had assumed upon first hearing the shriek, and must
have presented to the eyes of the agitated group a spectral and ominous appearance, as with pale
countenance and rigid limbs, I floated down among them in that funereal gondola.
All efforts proved in vain. Many of the most energetic in the search were relaxing their exertions, and
yielding to a gloomy sorrow. There seemed but little hope for the child; (how much less than for the
mother! ) but now, from the interior of that dark niche which has been already mentioned as forming a
part of the Old Republican prison, and as fronting the lattice of the Marchesa, a figure muffled in a cloak,
stepped out within reach of the light, and, pausing a moment upon the verge of the giddy descent,
plunged headlong into the canal. As, in an instant afterwards, he stood with the still living and breathing
child within his grasp, upon the marble flagstones by the side of the Marchesa, his cloak, heavy with the
drenching water, became unfastened, and, falling in folds about his feet, discovered to the wonder-
stricken spectators the graceful person of a very young man, with the sound of whose name the greater
part of Europe was then ringing.
No word spoke the deliverer. But the Marchesa! She will now receive her child - she will press it to her
heart - she will cling to its little form, and smother it with her caresses. Alas! another's arms have taken it
from the stranger - another's arms have taken it away, and borne it afar off, unnoticed, into the palace!
And the Marchesa! Her lip - her beautiful lip trembles: tears are gathering in her eyes - those eyes which,
like Pliny's acanthus, are "soft and almost liquid." Yes! tears are gathering in those eyes - and see! the
entire woman thrills throughout the soul, and the statue has started into life! The pallor of the marble
countenance, the swelling of the marble bosom, the very purity of the marble feet, we behold suddenly
flushed over with a tide of ungovernable crimson; and a slight shudder quivers about her delicate frame,
as a gentle air at Napoli about the rich silver lilies in the grass.
Why should that lady blush! To this demand there is no answer - except that, having left, in the eager
haste and terror of a mother's heart, the privacy of her own boudoir, she has neglected to enthral her tiny
feet in their slippers, and utterly forgotten to throw over her Venetian shoulders that drapery which is
their due. What other possible reason could there have been for her so blushing? - for the glance of those
wild appealing eyes? for the unusual tumult of that throbbing bosom? - for the convulsive pressure of that
trembling hand? - that hand which fell, as Mentoni turned into the palace, accidentally, upon the hand of
the stranger. What reason could there have been for the low - the singularly low tone of those unmeaning
words which the lady uttered hurriedly in bidding him adieu? "Thou hast conquered," she said, or the
murmurs of the water deceived me; "thou hast conquered - one hour after sunrise - we shall meet - so let
it be!"
* * * * * * *
The tumult had subsided, the lights had died away within the palace, and the stranger, whom I now
recognized, stood alone upon the flags. He shook with inconceivable agitation, and his eye glanced
around in search of a gondola. I could not do less than offer him the service of my own; and he accepted
the civility. Having obtained an oar at the water-gate, we proceeded together to his residence, while he
rapidly recovered his self-possession, and spoke of our former slight acquaintance in terms of great
apparent cordiality.
There are some subjects upon which I take pleasure in being minute. The person of the stranger - let me
call him by this title, who to all the world was still a stranger - the person of the stranger is one of these
subjects. In height he might have been below rather than above the medium size: although there were
moments of intense passion when his frame actually expanded and belied the assertion. The light, almost
slender symmetry of his figure, promised more of that ready activity which he evinced at the Bridge of
Sighs, than of that Herculean strength which he has been known to wield without an effort, upon
occasions of more dangerous emergency. With the mouth and chin of a deity - singular, wild, full, liquid
eyes, whose shadows varied from pure hazel to intense and brilliant jet - and a profusion of curling, black
hair, from which a forehead of unusual breadth gleamed forth at intervals all light and ivory - his were
features than which I have seen none more classically regular, except, perhaps, the marble ones of the
Emperor Commodus. Yet his countenance was, nevertheless, one of those which all men have seen at
some period of their lives, and have never afterwards seen again. It had no peculiar - it had no settled
predominant expression to be fastened upon the memory; a countenance seen and instantly forgotten -
but forgotten with a vague and never-ceasing desire of recalling it to mind. Not that the spirit of each
rapid passion failed, at any time, to throw its own distinct image upon the mirror of that face - but that
the mirror, mirror-like, retained no vestige of the passion, when the passion had departed.
Upon leaving him on the night of our adventure, he solicited me, in what I thought an urgent manner, to
call upon him very early the next morning. Shortly after sunrise, I found myself accordingly at his Palazzo,
one of those huge structures of gloomy, yet fantastic pomp, which tower above the waters of the Grand
Canal in the vicinity of the Rialto. I was shown up a broad winding staircase of mosaics, into an apartment
whose unparalleled splendor burst through the opening door with an actual glare, making me blind and
dizzy with luxuriousness.
I knew my acquaintance to be wealthy. Report had spoken of his possessions in terms which I had even
ventured to call terms of ridiculous exaggeration. But as I gazed about me, I could not bring myself to
believe that the wealth of any subject in Europe could have supplied the princely magnificence which
burned and blazed around.
Although, as I say, the sun had arisen, yet the room was still brilliantly lighted up. I judge from this
circumstance, as well as from an air of exhaustion in the countenance of my friend, that he had not
retired to bed during the whole of the preceding night. In the architecture and embellishments of the
chamber, the evident design had been to dazzle and astound. Little attention had been paid to the decora
of what is technically called keeping, or to the proprieties of nationality. The eye wandered from object to
object, and rested upon none - neither the grotesques of the Greek painters, nor the sculptures of the best
Italian days, nor the huge carvings of untutored Egypt. Rich draperies in every part of the room trembled
to the vibration of low, melancholy music, whose origin was not to be discovered. The senses were
oppressed by mingled and conflicting perfumes, reeking up from strange convolute censers, together with
multitudinous flaring and flickering tongues of emerald and violet fire. The rays of the newly risen sun
poured in upon the whole, through windows, formed each of a single pane of crimson-tinted glass.
Glancing to and fro, in a thousand reflections, from curtains which rolled from their cornices like
cataracts of molten silver, the beams of natural glory mingled at length fitfully with the artificial light, and
lay weltering in subdued masses upon a carpet of rich, liquid-looking cloth of Chili gold.
"Ha! ha! ha! - ha! ha! ha! " - laughed the proprietor, motioning me to a seat as I entered the room, and
throwing himself back at full-length upon an ottoman. "I see," said he, perceiving that I could not
immediately reconcile myself to the bienseance of so singular a welcome - "I see you are astonished at my
apartment - at my statues - my pictures - my originality of conception in architecture and upholstery!
absolutely drunk, eh, with my magnificence? But pardon me, my dear sir, (here his tone of voice dropped
to the very spirit of cordiality,) pardon me for my uncharitable laughter. You appeared so utterly
astonished. Besides, some things are so completely ludicrous, that a man must laugh or die. To die
laughing, must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! Sir Thomas More - a very fine man was Sir
Thomas More - Sir Thomas More died laughing, you remember. Also in the Absurdities of Ravisius Textor,
there is a long list of characters who came to the same magnificent end. Do you know, however,"
continued he musingly, "that at Sparta (which is now Palae; ochori,) at Sparta, I say, to the west of the
citadel, among a chaos of scarcely visible ruins, is a kind of socle, upon which are still legible the letters
7!=9 . They are undoubtedly part of '+7!=9! . Now, at Sparta were a thousand temples and shrines to a
thousand different divinities. How exceedingly strange that the altar of Laughter should have survived all
the others! But in the present instance," he resumed, with a singular alteration of voice and manner, "I
have no right to be merry at your expense. You might well have been amazed. Europe cannot produce
anything so fine as this, my little regal cabinet. My other apartments are by no means of the same order -
mere ultras of fashionable insipidity. This is better than fashion - is it not? Yet this has but to be seen to
become the rage - that is, with those who could afford it at the cost of their entire patrimony. I have
guarded, however, against any such profanation. With one exception, you are the only human being
besides myself and my valet, who has been admitted within the mysteries of these imperial precincts,
since they have been bedizzened as you see!"
I bowed in acknowledgment - for the overpowering sense of splendor and perfume, and music, together
with the unexpected eccentricity of his address and manner, prevented me from expressing, in words, my
appreciation of what I might have construed into a compliment.
"Here," he resumed, arising and leaning on my arm as he sauntered around the apartment, "here are
paintings from the Greeks to Cimabue, and from Cimabue to the present hour. Many are chosen, as you
see, with little deference to the opinions of Virtu. They are all, however, fitting tapestry for a chamber
such as this. Here, too, are some chefs d'oeuvre of the unknown great; and here, unfinished designs by
men, celebrated in their day, whose very names the perspicacity of the academies has left to silence and
to me. What think you," said he, turning abruptly as he spoke - "what think you of this Madonna della
Pieta?"
"It is Guido's own! " I said, with all the enthusiasm of my nature, for I had been poring intently over its
surpassing loveliness. "It is Guido's own! - how could you have obtained it? - she is undoubtedly in
painting what the Venus is in sculpture."
"Ha! " said he thoughtfully, "the Venus - the beautiful Venus? - the Venus of the Medici? - she of the
diminutive head and the gilded hair? Part of the left arm (here his voice dropped so as to be heard with
difficulty,) and all the right, are restorations; and in the coquetry of that right arm lies, I think, the
quintessence of all affectation. Give me the Canova! The Apollo, too, is a copy - there can be no doubt of it
- blind fool that I am, who cannot behold the boasted inspiration of the Apollo! I cannot help - pity me! - I
cannot help preferring the Antinous. Was it not Socrates who said that the statuary found his statue in the
block of marble? Then Michael Angelo was by no means original in his couplet -
'Non ha l'ottimo artista alcun concetto Che un marmo solo in se non circunscriva.' "
It has been, or should be remarked, that, in the manner of the true gentleman, we are always aware of a
difference from the bearing of the vulgar, without being at once precisely able to determine in what such
difference consists. Allowing the remark to have applied in its full force to the outward demeanor of my
acquaintance, I felt it, on that eventful morning, still more fully applicable to his moral temperament and
character. Nor can I better define that peculiarity of spirit which seemed to place him so essentially apart
from all other human beings, than by calling it a habit of intense and continual thought, pervading even
his most trivial actions - intruding upon his moments of dalliance - and interweaving itself with his very
flashes of merriment - like adders which writhe from out the eyes of the grinning masks in the cornices
around the temples of Persepolis.
I could not help, however, repeatedly observing, through the mingled tone of levity and solemnity with
which he rapidly descanted upon matters of little importance, a certain air of trepidation - a degree of
nervous unction in action and in speech - an unquiet excitability of manner which appeared to me at all
times unaccountable, and upon some occasions even filled me with alarm. Frequently, too, pausing in the
middle of a sentence whose commencement he had apparently forgotten, he seemed to be listening in the
deepest attention, as if either in momentary expectation of a visiter, or to sounds which must have had
existence in his imagination alone.
It was during one of these reveries or pauses of apparent abstraction, that, in turning over a page of the
poet and scholar Politian's beautiful tragedy "The Orfeo," (the first native Italian tragedy,) which lay near
me upon an ottoman, I discovered a passage underlined in pencil. It was a passage towards the end of the
third act - a passage of the most heart-stirring excitement - a passage which, although tainted with
impurity, no man shall read without a thrill of novel emotion - no woman without a sigh. The whole page
was blotted with fresh tears; and, upon the opposite interleaf, were the following English lines, written in
a hand so very different from the peculiar characters of my acquaintance, that I had some difficulty in
recognising it as his own: -
Thou wast that all to me, love, For which my soul did pine - A green isle in the sea, love, A fountain and a
shrine, All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers; And all the flowers were mine. Ah, dream too bright to
last! Ah, starry Hope, that didst arise But to be overcast! A voice from out the Future cries, "Onward! " -
but o'er the Past (Dim gulf! ) my spirit hovering lies, Mute - motionless - aghast! For alas! alas! with me
The light of life is o'er. "No more - no more - no more," (Such language holds the solemn sea To the sands
upon the shore,) Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree, Or the stricken eagle soar! Now all my hours are
trances; And all my nightly dreams Are where the dark eye glances, And where thy footstep gleams, In
what ethereal dances, By what Italian streams. Alas! for that accursed time They bore thee o'er the billow,
From Love to titled age and crime, And an unholy pillow! - From me, and from our misty clime, Where
weeps the silver willow!
That these lines were written in English - a language with which I had not believed their author
acquainted - afforded me little matter for surprise. I was too well aware of the extent of his acquirements,
and of the singular pleasure he took in concealing them from observation, to be astonished at any similar
discovery; but the place of date, I must confess, occasioned me no little amazement. It had been originally
written London, and afterwards carefully overscored - not, however, so effectually as to conceal the word
from a scrutinizing eye. I say, this occasioned me no little amazement; for I well remember that, in a
former conversation with a friend, I particularly inquired if he had at any time met in London the
Marchesa di Mentoni, (who for some years previous to her marriage had resided in that city,) when his
answer, if I mistake not, gave me to understand that he had never visited the metropolis of Great Britain. I
might as well here mention, that I have more than once heard, (without, of course, giving credit to a
report involving so many improbabilities,) that the person of whom I speak, was not only by birth, but in
education, an Englishman.
* * * * * * * * *
"There is one painting," said he, without being aware of my notice of the tragedy - "there is still one
painting which you have not seen." And throwing aside a drapery, he discovered a full-length portrait of
the Marchesa Aphrodite.
Human art could have done no more in the delineation of her superhuman beauty. The same ethereal
figure which stood before me the preceding night upon the steps of the Ducal Palace, stood before me
once again. But in the expression of the countenance, which was beaming all over with smiles, there still
lurked (incomprehensible anomaly!) that fitful stain of melancholy which will ever be found inseparable
from the perfection of the beautiful. Her right arm lay folded over her bosom. With her left she pointed
downward to a curiously fashioned vase. One small, fairy foot, alone visible, barely touched the earth;
and, scarcely discernible in the brilliant atmosphere which seemed to encircle and enshrine her
loveliness, floated a pair of the most delicately imagined wings. My glance fell from the painting to the
figure of my friend, and the vigorous words of Chapman's Bussy D'Ambois, quivered instinctively upon my
lips:
"He is up There like a Roman statue! He will stand Till Death hath made him marble!"
"Come," he said at length, turning towards a table of richly enamelled and massive silver, upon which
were a few goblets fantastically stained, together with two large Etruscan vases, fashioned in the same
extraordinary model as that in the foreground of the portrait, and filled with what I supposed to be
Johannisberger. "Come," he said, abruptly, "let us drink! It is early - but let us drink. It is indeed early," he
continued, musingly, as a cherub with a heavy golden hammer made the apartment ring with the first
hour after sunrise: "It is indeed early - but what matters it? let us drink! Let us pour out an offering to yon
solemn sun which these gaudy lamps and censers are so eager to subdue!" And, having made me pledge
him in a bumper, he swallowed in rapid succession several goblets of the wine.
"To dream," he continued, resuming the tone of his desultory conversation, as he held up to the rich light
of a censer one of the magnificent vases - "to dream has been the business of my life. I have therefore
framed for myself, as you see, a bower of dreams. In the heart of Venice could I have erected a better?
You behold around you, it is true, a medley of architectural embellishments. The chastity of Ionia is
offended by antediluvian devices, and the sphynxes of Egypt are outstretched upon carpets of gold. Yet
the effect is incongruous to the timid alone. Proprieties of place, and especially of time, are the bugbears
which terrify mankind from the contemplation of the magnificent. Once I was myself a decorist; but that
sublimation of folly has palled upon my soul. All this is now the fitter for my purpose. Like these
arabesque censers, my spirit is writhing in fire, and the delirium of this scene is fashioning me for the
wilder visions of that land of real dreams whither I am now rapidly departing." He here paused abruptly,
bent his head to his bosom, and seemed to listen to a sound which I could not hear. At length, erecting his
frame, he looked upwards, and ejaculated the lines of the Bishop of Chichester:
"Stay for me there! I will not fail To meet thee in that hollow vale."
In the next instant, confessing the power of the wine, he threw himself at full-length upon an ottoman.
A quick step was now heard upon the staircase, and a loud knock at the door rapidly succeeded. I was
hastening to anticipate a second disturbance, when a page of Mentoni's household burst into the room,
and faltered out, in a voice choking with emotion, the incoherent words, "My mistress! - my mistress! -
Poisoned! - poisoned! Oh, beautiful - oh, beautiful Aphrodite!"
Bewildered, I flew to the ottoman, and endeavored to arouse the sleeper to a sense of the startling
intelligence. But his limbs were rigid - his lips were livid - his lately beaming eyes were riveted in death. I
staggered back towards the table - my hand fell upon a cracked and blackened goblet - and a
consciousness of the entire and terrible truth flashed suddenly over my soul.
THE BALLOON HOAX
[Astounding News by Express, via Norfolk ! - The Atlantic crossed in Three Days ! Signal Triumph of Mr.
Monck Mason's Flying Machine ! - Arrival at Sullivan's Island, near Charlestown, S.C., of Mr. Mason, Mr.
Robert Holland, Mr. Henson, Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, and four others, in the Steering Balloon, "Victoria,"
after a passage of Seventy-five Hours from Land to Land ! Full Particulars of the Voyage!
The subjoined jeu d'esprit with the preceding heading in magnificent capitals, well interspersed with
notes of admiration, was originally published, as matter of fact, in the "New York Sun," a daily newspaper,
and therein fully subserved the purpose of creating indigestible aliment for the quidnuncs during the few
hours intervening between a couple of the Charleston mails. The rush for the "sole paper which had the
news," was something beyond even the prodigious ; and, in fact, if (as some assert) the "Victoria" did not
absolutely accomplish the voyage recorded, it will be difficult to assign a reason why she should not have
accomplished it.]
THE great problem is at length solved ! The air, as well as the earth and the ocean, has been subdued by
science, and will become a common and convenient highway for mankind. The Atlantic has been actually
crossed in a Balloon! and this too without difficulty - without any great apparent danger - with thorough
control of the machine - and in the inconceivably brief period of seventy-five hours from shore to shore !
By the energy of an agent at Charleston, S.C., we are enabled to be the first to furnish the public with a
detailed account of this most extraordinary voyage, which was performed between Saturday, the 6th
instant, at 11, A.M., and 2, P.M., on Tuesday, the 9th instant, by Sir Everard Bringhurst ; Mr. Osborne, a
nephew of Lord Bentinck's ; Mr. Monck Mason and Mr. Robert Holland, the well-known aeronauts ; Mr.
Harrison Ainsworth, author of "Jack Sheppard," &c. ; and Mr. Henson, the projector of the late
unsuccessful flying machine - with two seamen from Woolwich - in all, eight persons. The particulars
furnished below may be relied on as authentic and accurate in every respect, as, with a slight exception,
they are copied verbatim from the joint diaries of Mr. Monck Mason and Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, to
whose politeness our agent is also indebted for much verbal information respecting the balloon itself, its
construction, and other matters of interest. The only alteration in the MS. received, has been made for
the purpose of throwing the hurried account of our agent, Mr. Forsyth, into a connected and intelligible
form.
THE BALLOON.
"Two very decided failures, of late - those of Mr. Henson and Sir George Cayley - had much weakened the
public interest in the subject of aerial navigation. Mr. Henson's scheme (which at first was considered
very feasible even by men of science,) was founded upon the principle of an inclined plane, started from
an eminence by an extrinsic force, applied and continued by the revolution of impinging vanes, in form
and number resembling the vanes of a windmill. But, in all the experiments made with models at the
Adelaide Gallery, it was found that the operation of these fans not only did not propel the machine, but
actually impeded its flight. The only propelling force it ever exhibited, was the mere impetus acquired
from the descent of the inclined plane ; and this impetus carried the machine farther when the vanes
were at rest, than when they were in motion - a fact which sufficiently demonstrates their inutility ; and in
the absence of the propelling, which was also the sustaining power, the whole fabric would necessarily
descend. Thisconsideration led Sir George Cayley to think only of adapting a propeller to some machine
having of itself an independent power of support - in a word, to a balloon ; the idea, however, being novel,
or original, with Sir George, only so far as regards the mode of its application to practice. He exhibited a
model of his invention at the Polytechnic Institution. The propelling principle, or power, was here, also,
applied to interrupted surfaces, or vanes, put in revolution. These vanes were four in number, but were
found entirely ineffectual in moving the balloon, or in aiding its ascending power. The whole project was
thus a complete failure.
"It was at this juncture that Mr. Monck Mason (whose voyage from Dover to Weilburg in the balloon,
"Nassau," occasioned so much excitement in 1837,) conceived the idea of employing the principle of the
Archimedean screw for the purpose of propulsion through the air - rightly attributing the failure of Mr.
Henson's scheme, and of Sir George Cayley's, to the interruption of surface in the independent vanes. He
made the first public experiment at Willis's Rooms, but afterward removed his model to the Adelaide
Gallery.
"Like Sir George Cayley's balloon, his own was an ellipsoid. Its length was thirteen feet six inches -
height, six feet eight inches. It contained about three hundred and twenty cubic feet of gas, which, if pure
hydrogen, would support twenty-one pounds upon its first inflation, before the gas has time to deteriorate
or escape. The weight of the whole machine and apparatus was seventeen pounds - leaving about four
pounds to spare. Beneath the centre of the balloon, was a frame of light wood, about nine feet long, and
rigged on to the balloon itself with a network in the customary manner. From this framework was
suspended a wicker basket or car.
"The screw consists of an axis of hollow brass tube, eighteen inches in length, through which, upon a
semi-spiral inclined at fifteen degrees, pass a series of steel wire radii, two feet long, and thus projecting
a foot on either side. These radii are connected at the outer extremities by two bands of flattened wire -
the whole in this manner forming the framework of the screw, which is completed by a covering of oiled
silk cut into gores, and tightened so as to present a tolerably uniform surface. At each end of its axis this
screw is supported by pillars of hollow brass tube descending from the hoop. In the lower ends of these
tubes are holes in which the pivots of the axis revolve. From the end of the axis which is next the car,
proceeds a shaft of steel, connecting the screw with the pinion of a piece of spring machinery fixed in the
car. By the operation of this spring, the screw is made to revolve with great rapidity, communicating a
progressive motion to the whole. By means of the rudder, the machine was readily turned in any
direction. The spring was of great power, compared with its dimensions, being capable of raising forty-
five pounds upon a barrel of four inches diameter, after the first turn, and gradually increasing as it was
wound up. It weighed, altogether, eight pounds six ounces. The rudder was a light frame of cane covered
with silk, shaped somewhat like a battledoor, and was about three feet long, and at the widest, one foot.
Its weight was about two ounces. It could be turned flat , and directed upwards or downwards, as well as
to the right or left ; and thus enabled the aeronaut to transfer the resistance of the air which in an
inclined position it must generate in its passage, to any side upon which he might desire to act ; thus
determining the balloon in the opposite direction.
"This model (which, through want of time, we have necessarily described in an imperfect manner,) was
put in action at the Adelaide Gallery, where it accomplished a velocity of five miles per hour; although,
strange to say, it excited very little interest in comparison with the previous complex machine of Mr.
Henson - so resolute is the world to despise anything which carries with it an air of simplicity. To
accomplish the great desideratum of aerial navigation, it was very generally supposed that some
exceedingly complicated application must be made of some unusually profound principle in dynamics.
"So well satisfied, however, was Mr. Mason of the ultimate success of his invention, that he determined to
constructimmediately, if possible, a balloon of sufficient capacity to test the question by a voyage of
some extent - the original design being to cross the British Channel, as before, in the Nassau balloon. To
carry out his views, he solicited and obtained the patronage of Sir Everard Bringhurst and Mr. Osborne,
two gentlemen well known for scientific acquirement, and especially for the interest they have exhibited
in the progress of aerostation. The project, at the desire of Mr. Osborne, was kept a profound secret from
the public - the only persons entrusted with the design being those actually engaged in the construction
of the machine, which was built (under thesuperintendence of Mr. Mason, Mr. Holland, Sir Everard
Bringhurst, and Mr. Osborne,) at the seat of the latter gentleman nearPenstruthal, in Wales. Mr. Henson,
accompanied by his friend Mr. Ainsworth, was admitted to a private view of the balloon, on Saturday last -
when the two gentlemen made final arrangements to be included in the adventure. We are not informed
for what reason the two seamen were also included in the party - but, in the course of a day or two, we
shall put our readers in possession of the minutest particulars respecting this extraordinary voyage.
"The balloon is composed of silk, varnished with the liquid gum caoutchouc. It is of vast dimensions,
containing more than 40,000 cubic feet of gas ; but as coal gas was employed in place of the more
expensive and inconvenient hydrogen, the supporting power of the machine, when fully inflated, and
immediately after inflation, is not more than about 2500 pounds. The coal gas is not only much less costly,
but is easily procured and managed.
"For its introduction into common use for purposes ofaerostation, we are indebted to Mr. Charles Green.
Up to his discovery, the process of inflation was not only exceedingly expensive, but uncertain. Two, and
even three days, have frequently been wasted in futile attempts to procure a sufficiency of hydrogen to fill
a balloon, from which it had great tendency to escape, owing to its extreme subtlety, and its affinity for
the surrounding atmosphere. In a balloon sufficiently perfect to retain its contents of coal-gas unaltered,
in quantity or amount, for six months, an equal quantity of hydrogen could not be maintained in equal
purity for six weeks.
"The supporting power being estimated at 2500 pounds, and the united weights of the party amounting
only to about 1200, there was left a surplus of 1300, of which again 1200 was exhausted by ballast,
arranged in bags of different sizes, with their respective weights marked upon them - by cordage,
barometers, telescopes, barrels containing provision for a fortnight, water-casks, cloaks,carpet-bags,
and various other indispensable matters, including a coffee-warmer, contrived for warming coffee by
means of slack-lime, so as to dispense altogether with fire, if it should be judged prudent to do so. All
these articles, with the exception of the ballast, and a few trifles, were suspended from the hoop
overhead. The car is much smaller and lighter, in proportion, than the one appended to the model. It is
formed of a light wicker, and is wonderfully strong, for so frail looking a machine. Its rim is about four
feet deep. The rudder is also very much larger, in proportion, than that of the model ; and the screw is
considerably smaller. The balloon is furnished besides with a grapnel, and a guide-rope ; which latter is of
the most indispensable importance. A few words, in explanation, will here be necessary for such of our
readers as are not conversant with the details of aerostation.
"As soon as the balloon quits the earth, it is subjected to the influence of many circumstances tending to
create a difference in its weight ; augmenting or diminishing its ascending power. For example, there may
be a deposition of dew upon the silk, to the extent, even, of several hundred pounds ; ballast has then to
be thrown out, or the machine may descend. This ballast being discarded, and a clear sunshine
evaporating the dew, and at the same time expanding the gas in the silk, the whole will again rapidly
ascend. To check this ascent, the only recourse is, (or rather was , until Mr. Green's invention of the
guide-rope,) the permission of the escape of gas from the valve ; but, in the loss of gas, is a proportionate
general loss of ascending power ; so that, in a comparatively brief period, the best-constructed balloon
must necessarily exhaust all its resources, and come to the earth. This was the great obstacle to voyages
of length.
"The guide-rope remedies the difficulty in the simplest manner conceivable. It is merely a very long rope
which is suffered to trail from the car, and the effect of which is to prevent the balloon from changing its
level in any material degree. If, for example, there should be a deposition of moisture upon the silk, and
the machine begins to descend in consequence, there will be no necessity for discharging ballast to
remedy the increase of weight, for it is remedied, or counteracted, in an exactly just proportion, by the
deposit on the ground of just so much of the end of the rope as is necessary. If, on the other hand, any
circumstances should cause undue levity, and consequent ascent, this levity is immediately counteracted
by the additional weight of rope upraised from the earth. Thus, the balloon can neither ascend or
descend, except within very narrow limits, and its resources, either in gas or ballast, remain
comparatively unimpaired. When passing over an expanse of water, it becomes necessary to employ small
kegs of copper or wood, filled with liquid ballast of a lighter nature than water. These float, and serve all
the purposes of a mere rope on land. Another most important office of the guide-rope, is to point out the
direction of the balloon. The rope drags , either on land or sea, while the balloon is free ; the latter,
consequently, is always in advance, when any progress whatever is made : a comparison, therefore, by
means of the compass, of the relative positions of the two objects, will always indicate the course . In the
same way, the angle formed by the rope with the vertical axis of the machine, indicates the velocity .
When there is no angle - in other words, when the rope hangs perpendicularly, the whole apparatus is
stationary ; but the larger the angle, that is to say, the farther the balloon precedes the end of the rope,
the greater the velocity ; and the converse.
"As the original design was to cross the British Channel, and alight as near Paris as possible, the voyagers
had taken the precaution to prepare themselves with passports directed to all parts of the Continent,
specifying the nature of the expedition, as in the case of the Nassau voyage, and entitling the adventurers
to exemption from the usual formalities of office : unexpected events, however, rendered these passports
superfluous.
"The inflation was commenced very quietly at daybreak, on Saturday morning, the 6th instant, in the
Court-Yard of Weal-Vor House, Mr. Osborne's seat, about a mile from Penstruthal, in North Wales ; and at
7 minutes past 11, every thing being ready for departure, the balloon was set free, rising gently but
steadily, in a direction nearly South ; no use being made, for the first half hour, of either the screw or the
rudder. We proceed now with the journal, as transcribed by Mr. Forsyth from the joint MSS. Of Mr. Monck
Mason, and Mr. Ainsworth. The body of the journal, as given, is in the hand-writing of Mr. Mason, and a P.
S. is appended, each day, by Mr. Ainsworth, who has in preparation, and will shortly give the public a
more minute, and no doubt, a thrillingly interesting account of the voyage.
THE JOURNAL.
" Saturday, April the 6th . - Every preparation likely to embarrass us, having been made over night, we
commenced the inflation this morning at daybreak ; but owing to a thick fog, which encumbered the folds
of the silk and rendered it unmanageable, we did not get through before nearly eleven o'clock. Cut loose,
then, in high spirits, and rose gently but steadily, with a light breeze at North, which bore us in the
direction of the British Channel. Found the ascending force greater than we had expected ; and as we
arose higher and so got clear of the cliffs, and more in the sun's rays, our ascent became very rapid. I did
not wish, however, to lose gas at so early a period of the adventure, and so concluded to ascend for the
present. We soon ran out our guide-rope ; but even when we had raised it clear of the earth, we still went
up very rapidly. The balloon was unusually steady, and looked beautifully. In about ten minutes after
starting, the barometer indicated an altitude of 15,000 feet. The weather was remarkably fine, and the
view of the subjacent country - a most romantic one when seen from any point, - was now especially
sublime. The numerous deep gorges presented the appearance of lakes, on account of the dense vapors
with which they were filled, and the pinnacles and crags to the South East, piled in inextricable confusion,
resembling nothing so much as the giant cities of eastern fable. We were rapidly approaching the
mountains in the South ; but our elevation was more than sufficient to enable us to pass them in safety. In
a few minutes we soared over them in fine style ; and Mr. Ainsworth, with the seamen, was surprised at
their apparent want of altitude when viewed from the car, the tendency of great elevation in a balloon
being to reduce inequalities of the surface below, to nearly a dead level. At half-past eleven still
proceeding nearly South, we obtained our first view of the Bristol Channel ; and, in fifteen minutes
afterward, the line of breakers on the coast appeared immediately beneath us, and we were fairly out at
sea. We now resolved to let off enough gas to bring our guide-rope, with the buoys affixed, into the water.
This was immediately done, and we commenced a gradual descent. In about twenty minutes our first buoy
dipped, and at the touch of the second soon afterwards, we remained stationary as to elevation. We were
all now anxious to test the efficiency of the rudder and screw, and we put them both into requisition
forthwith, for the purpose of altering our direction more to the eastward, and in a line for Paris. By means
of the rudder we instantly effected the necessary change of direction, and our course was brought nearly
at right angles to that of the wind ; when we set in motion the spring of the screw, and were rejoiced to
find it propel us readily as desired. Upon this we gave nine hearty cheers, and dropped in the sea a bottle,
enclosing a slip of parchment with a brief account of the principle of the invention. Hardly, however, had
we done with our rejoicings, when an unforeseen accident occurred which discouraged us in no little
degree. The steel rod connecting the spring with the propeller was suddenly jerked out of place, at the
car end, (by a swaying of the car through some movement of one of the two seamen we had taken up,)
and in an instant hung dangling out of reach, from the pivot of the axis of the screw. While we were
endeavoring to regain it, our attention being completely absorbed, we became involved in a strong
current of wind from the East, which bore us, with rapidly increasing force, towards the Atlantic. We soon
found ourselves driving out to sea at the rate of not less, certainly, than fifty or sixty miles an hour, so that
we came up with Cape Clear, at some forty miles to our North, before we had secured the rod, and had
time to think what we were about. It was now that Mr. Ainsworth made an extraordinary, but to my fancy,
a by no means unreasonable or chimerical proposition, in which he was instantly seconded by Mr. Holland
- viz.: that we should take advantage of the strong gale which bore us on, and in place of beating back to
Paris, make an attempt to reach the coast of North America. After slight reflection I gave a willing assent
to this bold proposition, which (strange to say) met with objection from the two seamen only. As the
stronger party, however, we overruled their fears, and kept resolutely upon our course. We steered due
West ; but as the trailing of the buoys materially impeded our progress, and we had the balloon
abundantly at command, either for ascent or descent, we first threw out fifty pounds of ballast, and then
wound up (by means of a windlass) so much of the rope as brought it quite clear of the sea. We perceived
the effect of this manoeuvre immediately, in a vastly increased rate of progress ; and, as the gale
freshened, we flew with a velocity nearly inconceivable ; the guide-rope flying out behind the car, like a
streamer from a vessel. It is needless to say that a very short time sufficed us to lose sight of the coast.
We passed over innumerable vessels of all kinds, a few of which were endeavoring to beat up, but the
most of them lying to. We occasioned the greatest excitement on board all - an excitement greatly
relished by ourselves, and especially by our two men, who, now under the influence of a dram of Geneva,
seemed resolved to give all scruple, or fear, to the wind. Many of the vessels fired signal guns ; and in all
we were saluted with loud cheers (which we heard with surprising distinctness) and the waving of caps
and handkerchiefs. We kept on in this manner throughout the day, with no material incident, and, as the
shades of night closed around us, we made a rough estimate of the distance traversed. It could not have
been less than five hundred miles, and was probably much more. The propeller was kept in constant
operation, and, no doubt, aided our progress materially. As the sun went down, the gale freshened into an
absolute hurricane, and the ocean beneath was clearly visible on account of its phosphorescence. The
wind was from the East all night, and gave us the brightest omen of success. We suffered no little from
cold, and the dampness of the atmosphere was most unpleasant ; but the ample space in the car enabled
us to lie down, and by means of cloaks and a few blankets, we did sufficiently well.
"P.S. (by Mr. Ainsworth.) The last nine hours have been unquestionably the most exciting of my life. I can
conceive nothing more sublimating than the strange peril and novelty of an adventure such as this. May
God grant that we succeed ! I ask not success for mere safety to my insignificant person, but for the sake
of human knowledge and - for the vastness of the triumph. And yet the feat is only so evidently feasible
that the sole wonder is why men have scrupled to attempt it before. One single gale such as now
befriends us - let such a tempest whirl forward a balloon for four or five days (these gales often last
longer) and the voyager will be easily borne, in that period, from coast to coast. In view of such a gale the
broad Atlantic becomes a mere lake. I am more struck, just now, with the supreme silence which reigns in
the sea beneath us,notwithstanding its agitation, than with any other phenomenon presenting itself. The
waters give up no voice to the heavens. The immense flaming ocean writhes and is tortured
uncomplainingly. The mountainous surges suggest the idea of innumerable dumb gigantic fiends
struggling in impotent agony. In a night such as is this to me, a man lives - lives a whole century of
ordinary life - nor would I forego this rapturous delight for that of a whole century of ordinary existence.
" Sunday, the seventh . [Mr. Mason's MS.] This morning the gale, by 10, had subsided to an eight or nine -
knot breeze, (for a vessel at sea,) and bears us, perhaps, thirty miles per hour, or more. It has veered,
however, very considerably to the north ; and now, at sundown, we are holding our course due west,
principally by the screw and rudder, which answer their purposes to admiration. I regard the project as
thoroughly successful, and the easy navigation of the air in any direction (not exactly in the teeth of a
gale) as no longer problematical. We could not have made head against the strong wind of yesterday ; but,
by ascending, we might have got out of its influence, if requisite. Against a pretty stiff breeze, I feel
convinced, we can make our way with the propeller. At noon, to-day, ascended to an elevation of nearly
25,000 feet, by discharging ballast. Did this to search for a more direct current, but found none so
favorable as the one we are now in. We have an abundance of gas to take us across this small pond, even
should the voyage last three weeks. I have not the slightest fear for the result. The difficulty has been
strangely exaggerated and misapprehended. I can choose my current, and should I find all currents
against me, I can make very tolerable headway with the propeller. We have had no incidents worth
recording. The night promises fair.
P.S. [By Mr. Ainsworth.] I have little to record, except the fact (to me quite a surprising one) that, at an
elevation equal to that of Cotopaxi, I experienced neither very intense cold, nor headache, nor difficulty of
breathing ; neither, I find, did Mr. Mason, nor Mr. Holland, nor Sir Everard. Mr. Osborne complained of
constriction of the chest - but this soon wore off. We have flown at a great rate during the day, and we
must be more than half way across the Atlantic. We have passed over some twenty or thirty vessels of
various kinds, and all seem to be delightfully astonished. Crossing the ocean in a balloon is not so difficult
a feat after all. Omne ignotum pro magnifico. Mem : at 25,000 feet elevation the sky appears nearly black,
and the stars are distinctly visible ; while the sea does not seem convex (as one might suppose) but
absolutely and most unequivocally concave .{*1}
" Monday, the 8th . [Mr. Mason's MS.] This morning we had again some little trouble with the rod of the
propeller, which must be entirely remodelled, for fear of serious accident - I mean the steel rod - not the
vanes. The latter could not be improved. The wind has been blowing steadily and strongly from the north-
east all day and so far fortune seems bent upon favoring us. Just before day, we were all somewhat
alarmed at some odd noises and concussions in the balloon, accompanied with the apparent rapid
subsidence of the whole machine. These phenomena were occasioned by the expansion of the gas,
through increase of heat in the atmosphere, and the consequent disruption of the minute particles of ice
with which the network had become encrusted during the night. Threw down several bottles to the
vessels below. Saw one of them picked up by a large ship - seemingly one of the New York line packets.
Endeavored to make out her name, but could not be sure of it. Mr. Osbornes telescope made it out
something like "Atalanta." It is now 12 ,at night, and we are still going nearly west, at a rapid pace. The
sea is peculiarlyphosphorescent.
"P.S. [By Mr. Ainsworth.] It is now 2, A.M., and nearly calm, as well as I can judge - but it is very difficult
to determine this point, since we move with the air so completely. I have not slept since quitting Wheal-
Vor, but can stand it no longer, and must take a nap. We cannot be far from the American coast.
" Tuesday, the 9 th . [Mr. Ainsworth's MS.] One, P.M. We are in full view of the low coast of South Carolina
. The great problem is accomplished. We have crossed the Atlantic - fairly and easily crossed it in a
balloon ! God be praised ! Who shall say that anything is impossible hereafter? "
The Journal here ceases. Some particulars of the descent were communicated, however, by Mr. Ainsworth
to Mr. Forsyth. It was nearly dead calm when the voyagers first came in view of the coast, which was
immediately recognized by both the seamen, and by Mr. Osborne. The latter gentleman having
acquaintances at Fort Moultrie, it was immediately resolved to descend in its vicinity. The balloon was
brought over the beach (the tide being out and the sand hard, smooth, and admirably adapted for a
descent,) and the grapnel let go, which took firm hold at once. The inhabitants of the island, and of the
fort, thronged out, of course, to see the balloon ; but it was with the greatest difficulty that any one could
be made to credit the actual voyage - the crossing of the Atlantic . The grapnel caught at 2, P.M., precisely
; and thus the whole voyage was completed in seventy-five hours ; or rather less, counting from shore to
shore. No serious accident occurred. No real danger was at any time apprehended. The balloon was
exhausted and secured without trouble ; and when the MS. from which this narrative is compiled was
despatched from Charleston, the party were still at Fort Moultrie. Their farther intentions were not
ascertained ; but we can safely promise our readers some additional information either on Monday or in
the course of the next day, at farthest.
This is unquestionably the most stupendous, the most interesting, and the most important undertaking,
ever accomplished or even attempted by man. What magnificent events may ensue, it would be useless
now to think of determining.
{*1} Note . - Mr. Ainsworth has not attempted to account for this phenomenon, which, however, is quite
susceptible of explanation. A line dropped from an elevation of 25,000 feet, perpendicularly to the surface
of the earth (or sea), would form the perpendicular of a right-angled triangle, of which the base would
extend from the right angle to the horizon, and the hypothenuse from the horizon to the balloon. But the
25,000 feet of altitude is little or nothing, in comparison with the extent of the prospect. In other words,
the base and hypothenuse of the supposed triangle would be so long when compared with the
perpendicular, that the two former may be regarded as nearly parallel. In this manner the horizon of the
aeronaut would appear to be on a level with the car. But, as the point immediately beneath him seems,
and is, at a great distance below him, it seems, of course, also, at a great distance below the horizon.
Hence the impression of concavity ; and this impression must remain, until the elevation shall bear so
great a proportion to the extent of prospect, that the apparent parallelism of the base and hypothenuse
disappears - when the earth's real convexity must become apparent.
BERENICE
Dicebant mihi sodales, si sepulchrum amicae visitarem, curas meas aliquantulum forelevatas.- Ebn Zaiat.
MISERY is manifold. The wretchedness of earth is multiform. Overreaching the wide horizon as the
rainbow, its hues are as various as the hues of that arch - as distinct too, yet as intimately blended.
Overreaching the wide horizon as the rainbow! How is it that from beauty I have derived a type of
unloveliness? - from the covenant of peace, a simile of sorrow? But as, in ethics, evil is a consequence of
good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born. Either the memory of past bliss is the anguish of to-day, or the
agonies which are, have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been.
My baptismal name is Egaeus; that of my family I will not mention. Yet there are no towers in the land
more time-honored than my gloomy, gray, hereditary halls. Our line has been called a race of visionaries;
and in many striking particulars - in the character of the family mansion - in the frescos of the chief
saloon - in the tapestries of the dormitories - in the chiselling of some buttresses in the armory - but more
especially in the gallery of antique paintings - in the fashion of the library chamber - and, lastly, in the
very peculiar nature of the library's contents - there is more than sufficient evidence to warrant the belief.
The recollections of my earliest years are connected with that chamber, and with its volumes - of which
latter I will say no more. Here died my mother. Herein was I born. But it is mere idleness to say that I had
not lived before - that the soul has no previous existence. You deny it? - let us not argue the matter.
Convinced myself, I seek not to convince. There is, however, a remembrance of aerial forms - of spiritual
and meaning eyes - of sounds, musical yet sad - a remembrance which will not be excluded; a memory like
a shadow - vague, variable, indefinite, unsteady; and like a shadow, too, in the impossibility of my getting
rid of it while the sunlight of my reason shall exist.
In that chamber was I born. Thus awaking from the long night of what seemed, but was not, nonentity, at
once into the very regions of fairy land - into a palace of imagination - into the wild dominions of monastic
thought and erudition - it is not singular that I gazed around me with a startled and ardent eye - that I
loitered away my boyhood in books, and dissipated my youth in reverie; but it is singular that as years
rolled away, and the noon of manhood found me still in the mansion of my fathers - it is wonderful what
stagnation there fell upon the springs of my life - wonderful how total an inversion took place in the
character of my commonest thought. The realities of the world affected me as visions, and as visions only,
while the wild ideas of the land of dreams became, in turn, not the material of my every-day existence,
but in very deed that existence utterly and solely in itself.
* * *
Berenice and I were cousins, and we grew up together in my paternal halls. Yet differently we grew - I, ill
of health, and buried in gloom - she, agile, graceful, and overflowing with energy; hers, the ramble on the
hill-side - mine the studies of the cloister; I, living within my own heart, and addicted, body and soul, to
the most intense and painful meditation - she, roaming carelessly through life, with no thought of the
shadows in her path, or the silent flight of the raven-winged hours. Berenice! -I call upon her name -
Berenice! - and from the gray ruins of memory a thousand tumultuous recollections are startled at the
sound! Ah, vividly is her image before me now, as in the early days of her light-heartedness and joy! Oh,
gorgeous yet fantastic beauty! Oh, sylph amid the shrubberies of Arnheim! Oh, Naiad among its
fountains! And then - then all is mystery and terror, and a tale which should not be told. Disease - a fatal
disease, fell like the simoon upon her frame; and, even while I gazed upon her, the spirit of change swept
over her, pervading her mind, her habits, and her character, and, in a manner the most subtle and
terrible, disturbing even the identity of her person! Alas! the destroyer came and went! - and the victim -
where is she? I knew her not - or knew her no longer as Berenice.
Among the numerous train of maladies superinduced by that fatal and primary one which effected a
revolution of so horrible a kind in the moral and physical being of my cousin, may be mentioned as the
most distressing and obstinate in its nature, a species of epilepsy not unfrequently terminating in trance
itself - trance very nearly resembling positive dissolution, and from which her manner of recovery was in
most instances, startlingly abrupt. In the mean time my own disease - for I have been told that I should
call it by no other appellation - my own disease, then, grew rapidly upon me, and assumed finally a
monomaniac character of a novel and extraordinary form - hourly and momently gaining vigor - and at
length obtaining over me the most incomprehensible ascendancy. This monomania, if I must so term it,
consisted in a morbid irritability of those properties of the mind in metaphysical science termed the
attentive. It is more than probable that I am not understood; but I fear, indeed, that it is in no manner
possible to convey to the mind of the merely general reader, an adequate idea of that nervous intensity of
interest with which, in my case, the powers of meditation (not to speak technically) busied and buried
themselves, in the contemplation of even the most ordinary objects of the universe.
To muse for long unwearied hours, with my attention riveted to some frivolous device on the margin, or in
the typography of a book; to become absorbed, for the better part of a summer's day, in a quaint shadow
falling aslant upon the tapestry or upon the floor; to lose myself, for an entire night, in watching the
steady flame of a lamp, or the embers of a fire; to dream away whole days over the perfume of a flower; to
repeat, monotonously, some common word, until the sound, by dint of frequent repetition, ceased to
convey any idea whatever to the mind; to lose all sense of motion or physical existence, by means of
absolute bodily quiescence long and obstinately persevered in: such were a few of the most common and
least pernicious vagaries induced by a condition of the mental faculties, not, indeed, altogether
unparalleled, but certainly bidding defiance to anything like analysis or explanation.
Yet let me not be misapprehended. The undue, earnest, and morbid attention thus excited by objects in
their own nature frivolous, must not be confounded in character with that ruminating propensity common
to all mankind, and more especially indulged in by persons of ardent imagination. It was not even, as
might be at first supposed, an extreme condition, or exaggeration of such propensity, but primarily and
essentially distinct and different. In the one instance, the dreamer, or enthusiast, being interested by an
object usually not frivolous, imperceptibly loses sight of this object in a wilderness of deductions and
suggestions issuing therefrom, until, at the conclusion of a day dream often replete with luxury, he finds
the incitamentum, or first cause of his musings, entirely vanished and forgotten. In my case, the primary
object was invariably frivolous, although assuming, through the medium of my distempered vision, a
refracted and unreal importance. Few deductions, if any, were made; and those few pertinaciously
returning in upon the original object as a centre. The meditations were never pleasurable; and, at the
termination of the reverie, the first cause, so far from being out of sight, had attained that supernaturally
exaggerated interest which was the prevailing feature of the disease. In a word, the powers of mind more
particularly exercised were, with me, as I have said before, the attentive, and are, with the day-dreamer,
the speculative.
My books, at this epoch, if they did not actually serve to irritate the disorder, partook, it will be perceived,
largely, in their imaginative and inconsequential nature, of the characteristic qualities of the disorder
itself. I well remember, among others, the treatise of the noble Italian, Coelius Secundus Curio, "De
Amplitudine Beati Regni Dei;" St. Austin's great work, the "City of God;" and Tertullian's "De Carne
Christi," in which the paradoxical sentence "Mortuus est Dei filius; credible est quia ineptum est: et
sepultus resurrexit; certum est quia impossibile est," occupied my undivided time, for many weeks of
laborious and fruitless investigation.
Thus it will appear that, shaken from its balance only by trivial things, my reason bore resemblance to
that ocean-crag spoken of by Ptolemy Hephestion, which steadily resisting the attacks of human violence,
and the fiercer fury of the waters and the winds, trembled only to the touch of the flower called Asphodel.
And although, to a careless thinker, it might appear a matter beyond doubt, that the alteration produced
by her unhappy malady, in the moral condition of Berenice, would afford me many objects for the exercise
of that intense and abnormal meditation whose nature I have been at some trouble in explaining, yet such
was not in any degree the case. In the lucid intervals of my infirmity, her calamity, indeed, gave me pain,
and, taking deeply to heart that total wreck of her fair and gentle life, I did not fall to ponder, frequently
and bitterly, upon the wonder-working means by which so strange a revolution had been so suddenly
brought to pass. But these reflections partook not of the idiosyncrasy of my disease, and were such as
would have occurred, under similar circumstances, to the ordinary mass of mankind. True to its own
character, my disorder revelled in the less important but more startling changes wrought in the physical
frame of Berenice - in the singular and most appalling distortion of her personal identity.
During the brightest days of her unparalleled beauty, most surely I had never loved her. In the strange
anomaly of my existence, feelings with me, had never been of the heart, and my passions always were of
the mind. Through the gray of the early morning - among the trellised shadows of the forest at noonday -
and in the silence of my library at night - she had flitted by my eyes, and I had seen her - not as the living
and breathing Berenice, but as the Berenice of a dream; not as a being of the earth, earthy, but as the
abstraction of such a being; not as a thing to admire, but to analyze; not as an object of love, but as the
theme of the most abstruse although desultory speculation. And now - now I shuddered in her presence,
and grew pale at her approach; yet, bitterly lamenting her fallen and desolate condition, I called to mind
that she had loved me long, and, in an evil moment, I spoke to her of marriage.
And at length the period of our nuptials was approaching, when, upon an afternoon in the winter of the
year - one of those unseasonably warm, calm, and misty days which are the nurse of the beautiful
Halcyon, - I sat, (and sat, as I thought, alone,) in the inner apartment of the library. But, uplifting my eyes,
I saw that Berenice stood before me.
Was it my own excited imagination - or the misty influence of the atmosphere - or the uncertain twilight of
the chamber - or the gray draperies which fell around her figure - that caused in it so vacillating and
indistinct an outline? I could not tell. She spoke no word; and I - not for worlds could I have uttered a
syllable. An icy chill ran through my frame; a sense of insufferable anxiety oppressed me; a consuming
curiosity pervaded my soul; and sinking back upon the chair, I remained for some time breathless and
motionless, with my eyes riveted upon her person. Alas! its emaciation was excessive, and not one vestige
of the former being lurked in any single line of the contour. My burning glances at length fell upon the
face.
The forehead was high, and very pale, and singularly placid; and the once jetty hair fell partially over it,
and overshadowed the hollow temples with innumerable ringlets, now of a vivid yellow, and jarring
discordantly, in their fantastic character, with the reigning melancholy of the countenance. The eyes were
lifeless, and lustreless, and seemingly pupilless, and I shrank involuntarily from their glassy stare to he
contemplation of the thin and shrunken lips. They parted; and in a smile of peculiar meaning, the teeth of
the changed Berenice disclosed themselves slowly to my view. Would to God that I had never beheld
them, or that, having done so, I had died!
* * *
The shutting of a door disturbed me, and, looking up, I found that my cousin had departed from the
chamber. But from the disordered chamber of my brain, had not, alas! departed, and would not be driven
away, the white and ghastly spectrum of the teeth. Not a speck on their surface - not a shade on their
enamel - not an indenture in their edges - but what that period of her smile had sufficed to brand in upon
my memory. I saw them now even more unequivocally than I beheld them then. The teeth! - the teeth! -
they were here, and there, and everywhere, and visibly and palpably before me; long, narrow, and
excessively white, with the pale lips writhing about them, as in the very moment of their first terrible
development. Then came the full fury of my monomania, and I struggled in vain against its strange and
irresistible influence. In the multiplied objects of the external world I had no thoughts but for the teeth.
For these I longed with a phrenzied desire. All other matters and all different interests became absorbed
in their single contemplation. They - they alone were present to the mental eye, and they, in their sole
individuality, became the essence of my mental life. I held them in every light. I turned them in every
attitude. I surveyed their characteristics. I dwelt upon their peculiarities. I pondered upon their
conformation. I mused upon the alteration in their nature. I shuddered as I assigned to them in
imagination a sensitive and sentient power, and even when unassisted by the lips, a capability of moral
expression. Of Mademoiselle Salle it has been well said, "Que tous ses pas etaient des sentiments," and of
Berenice I more seriously believed que toutes ses dents etaient des idees. Des idees! - ah here was the
idiotic thought that destroyed me! Des idees! - ah therefore it was that I coveted them so madly! I felt
that their possession could alone ever restore me to peace, in giving me back to reason.
And the evening closed in upon me thus - and then the darkness came, and tarried, and went - and the
day again dawned - and the mists of a second night were now gathering around - and still I sat motionless
in that solitary room - and still I sat buried in meditation - and still the phantasma of the teeth maintained
its terrible ascendancy, as, with the most vivid hideous distinctness, it floated about amid the changing
lights and shadows of the chamber. At length there broke in upon my dreams a cry as of horror and
dismay; and thereunto, after a pause, succeeded the sound of troubled voices, intermingled with many
low moanings of sorrow or of pain. I arose from my seat, and throwing open one of the doors of the
library, saw standing out in the ante-chamber a servant maiden, all in tears, who told me that Berenice
was - no more! She had been seized with epilepsy in the early morning, and now, at the closing in of the
night, the grave was ready for its tenant, and all the preparations for the burial were completed.
* * *
I found myself sitting in the library, and again sitting there alone. It seemed that I had newly awakened
from a confused and exciting dream. I knew that it was now midnight, and I was well aware, that since
the setting of the sun, Berenice had been interred. But of that dreary period which intervened I had no
positive, at least no definite comprehension. Yet its memory was replete with horror - horror more
horrible from being vague, and terror more terrible from ambiguity. It was a fearful page in the record my
existence, written all over with dim, and hideous, and unintelligible recollections. I strived to decypher
them, but in vain; while ever and anon, like the spirit of a departed sound, the shrill and piercing shriek of
a female voice seemed to be ringing in my ears. I had done a deed - what was it? I asked myself the
question aloud, and the whispering echoes of the chamber answered me, - "what was it?"
On the table beside me burned a lamp, and near it lay a little box. It was of no remarkable character, and
I had seen it frequently before, for it was the property of the family physician; but how came it there,
upon my table, and why did I shudder in regarding it? These things were in no manner to be accounted
for, and my eyes at length dropped to the open pages of a book, and to a sentence underscored therein.
The words were the singular but simple ones of the poet Ebn Zaiat: - "Dicebant mihi sodales si
sepulchrum amicae visitarem, curas meas aliquantulum fore levatas." Why then, as I perused them, did
the hairs of my head erect themselves on end, and the blood of my body become congealed within my
veins?
There came a light tap at the library door - and, pale as the tenant of a tomb, a menial entered upon
tiptoe. His looks were wild with terror, and he spoke to me in a voice tremulous, husky, and very low.
What said he? - some broken sentences I heard. He told of a wild cry disturbing the silence of the night -
of the gathering together of the household - of a search in the direction of the sound; and then his tones
grew thrillingly distinct as he whispered me of a violated grave - of a disfigured body enshrouded, yet still
breathing - still palpitating - still alive!
He pointed to garments; - they were muddy and clotted with gore. I spoke not, and he took me gently by
the hand: it was indented with the impress of human nails. He directed my attention to some object
against the wall. I looked at it for some minutes: it was a spade. With a shriek I bounded to the table, and
grasped the box that lay upon it. But I could not force it open; and in my tremor, it slipped from my hands,
and fell heavily, and burst into pieces; and from it, with a rattling sound, there rolled out some
instruments of dental surgery, intermingled with thirty-two small, white and ivory-looking substances that
were scattered to and fro about the floor.
BON-BON
Quand un bon vin meuble mon estomac, Je suis plus savant que Balzac -Plus sage que Pibrac ;Mon
brass seul faisant l'attaqueDe la nation Coseaque,La mettroit au sac ;De Charon je passerois le lac,
En dormant dans son bac ;J'irois au fier Eac,Sans que mon coeur fit tic ni tac,Présenter du tabac. --
French Vaudeville
THAT Pierre Bon-Bon was a restaurateur of uncommon qualifications, no man who, during the reign of ---,
frequented the little Câfé in the cul-de-sac Le Febvre at Rouen, will, I imagine, feel himself at liberty to
dispute. That Pierre Bon-Bon was, in an equal degree, skilled in the philosophy of that period is, I
presume, still more especially undeniable. His patés à la fois were beyond doubt immaculate; but what
pen can do justice to his essays sur la Nature - his thoughts sur l'Ame - his observations sur l'Esprit ? If
his omelettes - if his fricandeaux were inestimable, what littérateur of that day would not have given
twice as much for an " Idée de Bon-Bon " as for all the trash of " Idées " of all the rest of the savants ?
Bon-Bon had ransacked libraries which no other man had ransacked - had more than any other would
have entertained a notion of reading- had understood more than any other would have conceived the
possibility of understanding; and although, while he flourished, there were not wanting some authors at
Rouen to assert "that his dicta evinced neither the purity of the Academy, nor the depth of the Lyceum" -
although, mark me, his doctrines were by no means very generally comprehended, still it did not follow
that they were difficult of comprehension. It was, I think, on account of their self-evidency that many
persons were led to consider them abstruse. It is to Bon-Bon - but let this go no farther - it is to Bon-Bon
that Kant himself is mainly indebted for his metaphysics. The former was indeed not a Platonist, nor
strictly speaking an Aristotelian - nor did he, like the modern Leibnitz, waste those precious hours which
might be employed in the invention of a fricasée or, facili gradu , the analysis of a sensation, in frivolous
attempts at reconciling the obstinate oils and waters of ethical discussion. Not at all. Bon-Bon was Ionic -
Bon-Bon was equally Italic. He reasoned à priori - He reasoned also à posteriori . His ideas were innate -
or otherwise. He believed in George of Trebizonde - He believed in Bossarion [Bessarion]. Bon-Bon was
emphatically a - Bon-Bonist.
I have spoken of the philosopher in his capacity of restaurateur . I would not, however, have any friend of
mine imagine that, in fulfilling his hereditary duties in that line, our hero wanted a proper estimation of
their dignity and importance. Far from it. It was impossible to say in which branch of his profession he
took the greater pride. In his opinion the powers of the intellect held intimate connection with the
capabilities of the stomach. I am not sure, indeed, that he greatly disagreed with the Chinese, who held
that the soul lies in the abdomen. The Greeks at all events were right, he thought, who employed the
same words for the mind and the diaphragm. {*1) By this I do not mean to insinuate a charge of gluttony,
or indeed any other serious charge to the prejudice of the metaphysician. If Pierre Bon-Bon had his
failings - and what great man has not a thousand? - if Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, had his failings, they were
failings of very little importance - faults indeed which, in other tempers, have often been looked upon
rather in the light of virtues. As regards one of these foibles, I should not even have mentioned it in this
history but for the remarkable prominency - the extreme alto relievo - in which it jutted out from the
plane of his general disposition. He could never let slip an opportunity of making a bargain.
{*1} MD,<,l
Not that he was avaricious - no. It was by no means necessary to the satisfaction of the philosopher, that
the bargain should be to his own proper advantage. Provided a trade could be effected - a trade of any
kind, upon any terms, or under any circumstances - a triumphant smile was seen for many days thereafter
to enlighten his countenance, and a knowing wink of the eye to give evidence of his sagacity.
At any epoch it would not be very wonderful if a humor so peculiar as the one I have just mentioned,
should elicit attention and remark. At the epoch of our narrative, had this peculiarity not attracted
observation, there would have been room for wonder indeed. It was soon reported that, upon all
occasions of the kind, the smile of Bon-Bon was wont to differ widely from the downright grin with which
he would laugh at his own jokes, or welcome an acquaintance. Hints were thrown out of an exciting
nature; stories were told of perilous bargains made in a hurry and repented of at leisure; and instances
were adduced of unaccountable capacities, vague longings, and unnatural inclinations implanted by the
author of all evil for wise purposes of his own.
The philosopher had other weaknesses - but they are scarcely worthy our serious examination. For
example, there are few men of extraordinary profundity who are found wanting in an inclination for the
bottle. Whether this inclination be an exciting cause, or rather a valid proof of such profundity, it is a nice
thing to say. Bon-Bon, as far as I can learn, did not think the subject adapted to minute investigation; - nor
do I. Yet in the indulgence of a propensity so truly classical, it is not to be supposed that the restaurateur
would lose sight of that intuitive discrimination which was wont to characterize, at one and the same
time, his essais and his omelettes. In his seclusions the Vin de Bourgogne had its allotted hour, and there
were appropriate moments for the Cotes du Rhone. With him Sauterne was to Medoc what Catullus was
to Homer. He would sport with a syllogism in sipping St. Peray, but unravel an argument over Clos de
Vougeot, and upset a theory in a torrent of Chambertin. Well had it been if the same quick sense of
propriety had attended him in the peddling propensity to which I have formerly alluded - but this was by
no means the case. Indeed to say the truth, that trait of mind in the philosophic Bon-Bon did begin at
length to assume a character of strange intensity and mysticism, and appeared deeply tinctured with the
diablerie of his favorite German studies.
To enter the little Cafe in the cul-de-sac Le Febvre was, at the period of our tale, to enter the sanctum of a
man of genius. Bon-Bon was a man of genius. There was not a sous-cusinier in Rouen, who could not have
told you that Bon-Bon was a man of genius. His very cat knew it, and forebore to whisk her tail in the
presence of the man of genius. His large water-dog was acquainted with the fact, and upon the approach
of his master, betrayed his sense of inferiority by a sanctity of deportment, a debasement of the ears, and
a dropping of the lower jaw not altogether unworthy of a dog. It is, however, true that much of this
habitual respect might have been attributed to the personal appearance of the metaphysician. A
distinguished exterior will, I am constrained to say, have its way even with a beast; and I am willing to
allow much in the outward man of the restaurateur calculated to impress the imagination of the
quadruped. There is a peculiar majesty about the atmosphere of the little great - if I may be permitted so
equivocal an expression - which mere physical bulk alone will be found at all times inefficient in creating.
If, however, Bon-Bon was barely three feet in height, and if his head was diminutively small, still it was
impossible to behold the rotundity of his stomach without a sense of magnificence nearly bordering upon
the sublime. In its size both dogs and men must have seen a type of his acquirements - in its immensity a
fitting habitation for his immortal soul.
I might here - if it so pleased me - dilate upon the matter of habiliment, and other mere circumstances of
the external metaphysician. I might hint that the hair of our hero was worn short, combed smoothly over
his forehead, and surmounted by a conical-shaped white flannel cap and tassels - that his pea-green jerkin
was not after the fashion of those worn by the common class of restaurateurs at that day- that the sleeves
were something fuller than the reigning costume permitted - that the cuffs were turned up, not as usual
in that barbarous period, with cloth of the same quality and color as the garment, but faced in a more
fanciful manner with the particolored velvet of Genoa - that his slippers were of a bright purple, curiously
filigreed, and might have been manufactured in Japan, but for the exquisite pointing of the toes, and the
brilliant tints of the binding and embroidery - that his breeches were of the yellow satin-like material
called aimable - that his sky-blue cloak, resembling in form a dressing-wrapper, and richly bestudded all
over with crimson devices, floated cavalierly upon his shoulders like a mist of the morning - and that his
tout ensemble gave rise to the remarkable words of Benevenuta, the Improvisatrice of Florence, "that it
was difficult to say whether Pierre Bon-Bon was indeed a bird of Paradise, or rather a very Paradise of
perfection." I might, I say, expatiate upon all these points if I pleased, - but I forbear, merely personal
details may be left to historical novelists,- they are beneath the moral dignity of matter-of-fact.
I have said that "to enter the Cafe in the cul-de-sac Le Febvre was to enter the sanctum of a man of
genius" - but then it was only the man of genius who could duly estimate the merits of the sanctum. A
sign, consisting of a vast folio, swung before the entrance. On one side of the volume was painted a
bottle; on the reverse a pate. On the back were visible in large letters Oeuvres de Bon-Bon. Thus was
delicately shadowed forth the two-fold occupation of the proprietor.
Upon stepping over the threshold, the whole interior of the building presented itself to view. A long, low-
pitched room, of antique construction, was indeed all the accommodation afforded by the Cafe. In a
corner of the apartment stood the bed of the metaphysician. An army of curtains, together with a canopy
a la Grecque, gave it an air at once classic and comfortable. In the corner diagonary opposite, appeared,
in direct family communion, the properties of the kitchen and the bibliotheque. A dish of polemics stood
peacefully upon the dresser. Here lay an ovenful of the latest ethics - there a kettle of dudecimo
melanges. Volumes of German morality were hand and glove with the gridiron - a toasting-fork might be
discovered by the side of Eusebius - Plato reclined at his ease in the frying-pan- and contemporary
manuscripts were filed away upon the spit.
In other respects the Cafe de Bon-Bon might be said to differ little from the usual restaurants of the
period. A fireplace yawned opposite the door. On the right of the fireplace an open cupboard displayed a
formidable array of labelled bottles.
It was here, about twelve o'clock one night during the severe winter the comments of his neighbours
upon his singular propensity - that Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, having turned them all out of his house, locked
the door upon them with an oath, and betook himself in no very pacific mood to the comforts of a leather-
bottomed arm-chair, and a fire of blazing fagots.
It was one of those terrific nights which are only met with once or twice during a century. It snowed
fiercely, and the house tottered to its centre with the floods of wind that, rushing through the crannies in
the wall, and pouring impetuously down the chimney, shook awfully the curtains of the philosopher's bed,
and disorganized the economy of his pate-pans and papers. The huge folio sign that swung without,
exposed to the fury of the tempest, creaked ominously, and gave out a moaning sound from its stanchions
of solid oak.
It was in no placid temper, I say, that the metaphysician drew up his chair to its customary station by the
hearth. Many circumstances of a perplexing nature had occurred during the day, to disturb the serenity of
his meditations. In attempting des oeufs a la Princesse, he had unfortunately perpetrated an omelette a la
Reine; the discovery of a principle in ethics had been frustrated by the overturning of a stew; and last, not
least, he had been thwarted in one of those admirable bargains which he at all times took such especial
delight in bringing to a successful termination. But in the chafing of his mind at these unaccountable
vicissitudes, there did not fail to be mingled some degree of that nervous anxiety which the fury of a
boisterous night is so well calculated to produce. Whistling to his more immediate vicinity the large black
water-dog we have spoken of before, and settling himself uneasily in his chair, he could not help casting a
wary and unquiet eye toward those distant recesses of the apartment whose inexorable shadows not even
the red firelight itself could more than partially succeed in overcoming. Having completed a scrutiny
whose exact purpose was perhaps unintelligible to himself, he drew close to his seat a small table covered
with books and papers, and soon became absorbed in the task of retouching a voluminous manuscript,
intended for publication on the morrow.
He had been thus occupied for some minutes when "I am in no hurry, Monsieur Bon-Bon," suddenly
whispered a whining voice in the apartment.
"The devil!" ejaculated our hero, starting to his feet, overturning the table at his side, and staring around
him in astonishment.
"Very true! - what is very true? - how came you here?" vociferated the metaphysician, as his eye fell upon
something which lay stretched at full length upon the bed.
"I was saying," said the intruder, without attending to the interrogatives, - "I was saying that I am not at
all pushed for time - that the business upon which I took the liberty of calling, is of no pressing
importance - in short, that I can very well wait until you have finished your Exposition."
"My Exposition! - there now! - how do you know? - how came you to understand that I was writing an
Exposition? - good God!"
"Hush!" replied the figure, in a shrill undertone; and, arising quickly from the bed, he made a single step
toward our hero, while an iron lamp that depended over-head swung convulsively back from his approach.
The philosopher's amazement did not prevent a narrow scrutiny of the stranger's dress and appearance.
The outlines of his figure, exceedingly lean, but much above the common height, were rendered minutely
distinct, by means of a faded suit of black cloth which fitted tight to the skin, but was otherwise cut very
much in the style of a century ago. These garments had evidently been intended for a much shorter
person than their present owner. His ankles and wrists were left naked for several inches. In his shoes,
however, a pair of very brilliant buckles gave the lie to the extreme poverty implied by the other portions
of his dress. His head was bare, and entirely bald, with the exception of a hinder part, from which
depended a queue of considerable length. A pair of green spectacles, with side glasses, protected his eyes
from the influence of the light, and at the same time prevented our hero from ascertaining either their
color or their conformation. About the entire person there was no evidence of a shirt, but a white cravat,
of filthy appearance, was tied with extreme precision around the throat and the ends hanging down
formally side by side gave (although I dare say unintentionally) the idea of an ecclesiastic. Indeed, many
other points both in his appearance and demeanor might have very well sustained a conception of that
nature. Over his left ear, he carried, after the fashion of a modern clerk, an instrument resembling the
stylus of the ancients. In a breast-pocket of his coat appeared conspicuously a small black volume
fastened with clasps of steel. This book, whether accidentally or not, was so turned outwardly from the
person as to discover the words "Rituel Catholique" in white letters upon the back. His entire
physiognomy was interestingly saturnine - even cadaverously pale. The forehead was lofty, and deeply
furrowed with the ridges of contemplation. The corners of the mouth were drawn down into an expression
of the most submissive humility. There was also a clasping of the hands, as he stepped toward our hero - a
deep sigh - and altogether a look of such utter sanctity as could not have failed to be unequivocally
preposessing. Every shadow of anger faded from the countenance of the metaphysician, as, having
completed a satisfactory survey of his visiter's person, he shook him cordially by the hand, and conducted
him to a seat.
There would however be a radical error in attributing this instantaneous transition of feeling in the
philosopher, to any one of those causes which might naturally be supposed to have had an influence.
Indeed, Pierre Bon-Bon, from what I have been able to understand of his disposition, was of all men the
least likely to be imposed upon by any speciousness of exterior deportment. It was impossible that so
accurate an observer of men and things should have failed to discover, upon the moment, the real
character of the personage who had thus intruded upon his hospitality. To say no more, the conformation
of his visiter's feet was sufficiently remarkable - he maintained lightly upon his head an inordinately tall
hat - there was a tremulous swelling about the hinder part of his breeches - and the vibration of his coat
tail was a palpable fact. Judge, then, with what feelings of satisfaction our hero found himself thrown thus
at once into the society of a person for whom he had at all times entertained the most unqualified respect.
He was, however, too much of the diplomatist to let escape him any intimation of his suspicions in regard
to the true state of affairs. It was not his cue to appear at all conscious of the high honor he thus
unexpectedly enjoyed; but, by leading his guest into the conversation, to elicit some important ethical
ideas, which might, in obtaining a place in his contemplated publication, enlighten the human race, and at
the same time immortalize himself - ideas which, I should have added, his visitor's great age, and well-
known proficiency in the science of morals, might very well have enabled him to afford.
Actuated by these enlightened views, our hero bade the gentleman sit down, while he himself took
occasion to throw some fagots upon the fire, and place upon the now re-established table some bottles of
Mousseux. Having quickly completed these operations, he drew his chair vis-a-vis to his companion's, and
waited until the latter should open the conversation. But plans even the most skilfully matured are often
thwarted in the outset of their application - and the restaurateur found himself nonplussed by the very
first words of his visiter's speech.
"I see you know me, Bon-Bon," said he; "ha! ha! ha! - he! he! he! - hi! hi! hi! - ho! ho! ho! - hu! hu! hu!" -
and the devil, dropping at once the sanctity of his demeanor, opened to its fullest extent a mouth from ear
to ear, so as to display a set of jagged and fang-like teeth, and, throwing back his head, laughed long,
loudly, wickedly, and uproariously, while the black dog, crouching down upon his haunches, joined lustily
in the chorus, and the tabby cat, flying off at a tangent, stood up on end, and shrieked in the farthest
corner of the apartment.
Not so the philosopher; he was too much a man of the world either to laugh like the dog, or by shrieks to
betray the indecorous trepidation of the cat. It must be confessed, he felt a little astonishment to see the
white letters which formed the words "Rituel Catholique" on the book in his guest's pocket, momently
changing both their color and their import, and in a few seconds, in place of the original title the words
Regitre des Condamnes blazed forth in characters of red. This startling circumstance, when Bon-Bon
replied to his visiter's remark, imparted to his manner an air of embarrassment which probably might, not
otherwise have been observed.
"Why sir," said the philosopher, "why sir, to speak sincerely - I I imagine - I have some faint - some very
faint idea - of the remarkable honor-"
"Oh! - ah! - yes! - very well!" interrupted his Majesty; "say no more - I see how it is." And hereupon, taking
off his green spectacles, he wiped the glasses carefully with the sleeve of his coat, and deposited them in
his pocket.
If Bon-Bon had been astonished at the incident of the book, his amazement was now much increased by
the spectacle which here presented itself to view. In raising his eyes, with a strong feeling of curiosity to
ascertain the color of his guest's, he found them by no means black, as he had anticipated - nor gray, as
might have been imagined - nor yet hazel nor blue - nor indeed yellow nor red - nor purple - nor white -
nor green - nor any other color in the heavens above, or in the earth beneath, or in the waters under the
earth. In short, Pierre Bon-Bon not only saw plainly that his Majesty had no eyes whatsoever, but could
discover no indications of their having existed at any previous period - for the space where eyes should
naturally have been was, I am constrained to say, simply a dead level of flesh.
It was not in the nature of the metaphysician to forbear making some inquiry into the sources of so
strange a phenomenon, and the reply of his Majesty was at once prompt, dignified, and satisfactory.
"Eyes! my dear Bon-Bon - eyes! did you say? - oh! - ah! - I perceive! The ridiculous prints, eh, which are
in, circulation, have given you a false idea of my personal appearance? Eyes! - true. Eyes, Pierre Bon-Bon,
are very well in their proper place - that, you would say, is the head? - right - the head of a worm. To you,
likewise, these optics are indispensable - yet I will convince you that my vision is more penetrating than
your own. There is a cat I see in the corner - a pretty cat- look at her - observe her well. Now, Bon-Bon, do
you behold the thoughts - the thoughts, I say, - the ideas - the reflections - which are being engendered in
her pericranium? There it is, now - you do not! She is thinking we admire the length of her tail and the
profundity of her mind. She has just concluded that I am the most distinguished of ecclesiastics, and that
you are the most superficial of metaphysicians. Thus you see I am not altogether blind; but to one of my
profession, the eyes you speak of would be merely an incumbrance, liable at any time to be put out by a
toasting-iron, or a pitchfork. To you, I allow, these optical affairs are indispensable. Endeavor, Bon-Bon, to
use them well; - my vision is the soul."
Hereupon the guest helped himself to the wine upon the table, and pouring out a bumper for Bon-Bon,
requested him to drink it without scruple, and make himself perfectly at home.
"A clever book that of yours, Pierre," resumed his Majesty, tapping our friend knowingly upon the
shoulder, as the latter put down his glass after a thorough compliance with his visiter's injunction. "A
clever book that of yours, upon my honor. It's a work after my own heart. Your arrangement of the matter,
I think, however, might be improved, and many of your notions remind me of Aristotle. That philosopher
was one of my most intimate acquaintances. I liked him as much for his terrible ill temper, as for his
happy knack at making a blunder. There is only one solid truth in all that he has written, and for that I
gave him the hint out of pure compassion for his absurdity. I suppose, Pierre Bon-Bon, you very well know
to what divine moral truth I am alluding?"
"Indeed! - why it was I who told Aristotle that by sneezing, men expelled superfluous ideas through the
proboscis."
"Which is - hiccup! - undoubtedly the case," said the metaphysician, while he poured out for himself
another bumper of Mousseux, and offered his snuff-box to the fingers of his visiter.
"There was Plato, too," continued his Majesty, modestly declining the snuff-box and the compliment it
implied - "there was Plato, too, for whom I, at one time, felt all the affection of a friend. You knew Plato,
Bon-Bon? - ah, no, I beg a thousand pardons. He met me at Athens, one day, in the Parthenon, and told me
he was distressed for an idea. I bade him write, down that o nous estin aulos. He said that he would do so,
and went home, while I stepped over to the pyramids. But my conscience smote me for having uttered a
truth, even to aid a friend, and hastening back to Athens, I arrived behind the philosopher's chair as he
was inditing the 'aulos.'"
"Giving the lambda a fillip with my finger, I turned it upside down. So the sentence now read 'o nous estin
augos', and is, you perceive, the fundamental doctrines in his metaphysics."
"Were you ever at Rome?" asked the restaurateur, as he finished his second bottle of Mousseux, and drew
from the closet a larger supply of Chambertin.
But once, Monsieur Bon-Bon, but once. There was a time," said the devil, as if reciting some passage from
a book - "there was a time when occurred an anarchy of five years, during which the republic, bereft of all
its officers, had no magistracy besides the tribunes of the people, and these were not legally vested with
any degree of executive power - at that time, Monsieur Bon-Bon - at that time only I was in Rome, and I
have no earthly acquaintance, consequently, with any of its philosophy."*
{*2} Ils ecrivaient sur la Philosophie ( Cicero, Lucretius, Seneca ) mais c'etait la Philosophie Grecque. -
Condorcet .
"What do I think of whom?" said the devil, in astonishment, "you cannot surely mean to find any fault with
Epicurus! What do I think of Epicurus! Do you mean me, sir? - I am Epicurus! I am the same philosopher
who wrote each of the three hundred treatises commemorated by Diogenes Laertes."
"That's a lie!" said the metaphysician, for the wine had gotten a little into his head.
"Very well! - very well, sir! - very well, indeed, sir!" said his Majesty, apparently much flattered.
"Well, well, have it your own way!" said the devil, pacifically, and Bon-Bon, having beaten his Majesty at
argument, thought it his duty to conclude a second bottle of Chambertin.
"As I was saying," resumed the visiter - "as I was observing a little while ago, there are some very outre
notions in that book of yours Monsieur Bon-Bon. What, for instance, do you mean by all that humbug
about the soul? Pray, sir, what is the soul?"
"The - hiccup! - soul," replied the metaphysician, referring to his MS., "is undoubtedly-"
"No, sir!"
"Indubitably-"
"No, sir!"
"Indisputably-"
"No, sir!"
"Evidently-"
"No, sir!"
"Incontrovertibly-"
"No, sir!"
"Hiccup! -"
"No, sir!"
"No sir, the soul is no such thing!" (Here the philosopher, looking daggers, took occasion to make an end,
upon the spot, of his third bottle of Chambertin.)
"That is neither here nor there, Monsieur Bon-Bon," replied his Majesty, musingly. "I have tasted - that is
to say, I have known some very bad souls, and some too - pretty good ones." Here he smacked his lips,
and, having unconsciously let fall his hand upon the volume in his pocket, was seized with a violent fit of
sneezing.
He continued.
"There was the soul of Cratinus - passable: Aristophanes - racy: Plato - exquisite- not your Plato, but Plato
the comic poet; your Plato would have turned the stomach of Cerberus - faugh! Then let me see! there
were Naevius, and Andronicus, and Plautus, and Terentius. Then there were Lucilius, and Catullus, and
Naso, and Quintus Flaccus, - dear Quinty! as I called him when he sung a seculare for my amusement,
while I toasted him, in pure good humor, on a fork. But they want flavor, these Romans. One fat Greek is
worth a dozen of them, and besides will keep, which cannot be said of a Quirite. - Let us taste your
Sauterne."
Bon-Bon had by this time made up his mind to nil admirari and endeavored to hand down the bottles in
question. He was, however, conscious of a strange sound in the room like the wagging of a tail. Of this,
although extremely indecent in his Majesty, the philosopher took no notice: - simply kicking the dog, and
requesting him to be quiet. The visiter continued:
"I found that Horace tasted very much like Aristotle; - you know I am fond of variety. Terentius I could not
have told from Menander. Naso, to my astonishment, was Nicander in disguise. Virgilius had a strong
twang of Theocritus. Martial put me much in mind of Archilochus - and Titus Livius was positively
Polybius and none other."
"But if I have a penchant, Monsieur Bon-Bon - if I have a penchant, it is for a philosopher. Yet, let me tell
you, sir, it is not every dev - I mean it is not every gentleman who knows how to choose a philosopher.
Long ones are not good; and the best, if not carefully shelled, are apt to be a little rancid on account of
the gall!"
"Shelled!"
"Don't mention them! - ugh! ugh! ugh!" (Here his Majesty retched violently.) "I never tasted but one - that
rascal Hippocrates! - smelt of asafoetida - ugh! ugh! ugh! - caught a wretched cold washing him in the
Styx - and after all he gave me the cholera morbus."
"The - hiccup - wretch!" ejaculated Bon-Bon, "the - hic-cup! - absorption of a pill-box!" - and the
philosopher dropped a tear.
"After all," continued the visiter, "after all, if a dev - if a gentleman wishes to live, he must have more
talents than one or two; and with us a fat face is an evidence of diplomacy."
"How so?"
"Why, we are sometimes exceedingly pushed for provisions. You must know that, in a climate so sultry as
mine, it is frequently impossible to keep a spirit alive for more than two or three hours; and after death,
unless pickled immediately (and a pickled spirit is not good), they will - smell - you understand, eh?
Putrefaction is always to be apprehended when the souls are consigned to us in the usual way."
Here the iron lamp commenced swinging with redoubled violence, and the devil half started from his
seat; - however, with a slight sigh, he recovered his composure, merely saying to our hero in a low tone: "I
tell you what, Pierre Bon-Bon, we must have no more swearing."
The host swallowed another bumper, by way of denoting thorough comprehension and acquiescence, and
the visiter continued.
"Why, there are several ways of managing. The most of us starve: some put up with the pickle: for my part
I purchase my spirits vivente corpore, in which case I find they keep very well."
"The body, the body - well, what of the body? - oh! ah! I perceive. Why, sir, the body is not at all affected
by the transaction. I have made innumerable purchases of the kind in my day, and the parties never
experienced any inconvenience. There were Cain and Nimrod, and Nero, and Caligula, and Dionysius, and
Pisistratus, and - and a thousand others, who never knew what it was to have a soul during the latter part
of their lives; yet, sir, these men adorned society. Why possession of his faculties, mental and corporeal?
Who writes a keener epigram? Who reasons more wittily? Who - but stay! I have his agreement in my
pocket-book."
Thus saying, he produced a red leather wallet, and took from it a number of papers. Upon some of these
Bon-Bon caught a glimpse of the letters Machi - Maza- Robesp - with the words Caligula, George,
Elizabeth. His Majesty selected a narrow slip of parchment, and from it read aloud the following words:
"In consideration of certain mental endowments which it is unnecessary to specify, and in further
consideration of one thousand louis d'or, I being aged one year and one month, do hereby make over to
the bearer of this agreement all my right, title, and appurtenance in the shadow called my soul. (Signed)
A...." {*4} (Here His Majesty repeated a name which I did not feel justified in indicating more
unequivocally.)
{*4} Quere-Arouet?
"A clever fellow that," resumed he; "but like you, Monsieur Bon-Bon, he was mistaken about the soul. The
soul a shadow, truly! The soul a shadow; Ha! ha! ha! - he! he! he! - hu! hu! hu! Only think of a fricasseed
shadow!"
"Only think - hiccup! - of a fricasseed shadow!" exclaimed our hero, whose faculties were becoming much
illuminated by the profundity of his Majesty's discourse.
"Only think of a hiccup! - fricasseed shadow!! Now, damme! - hiccup! - humph! If I would have been such
a - hiccup! - nincompoop! My soul, Mr. - humph!"
"What, sir?"
"What, sir?"
"Stew."
"Ha!"
"Soufflee."
"Eh!"
"Fricassee."
"Indeed!"
"Ragout and fricandeau - and see here, my good fellow! I'll let you have it- hiccup! - a bargain." Here the
philosopher slapped his Majesty upon the back.
"Couldn't think of such a thing," said the latter calmly, at the same time rising from his seat. The
metaphysician stared.
"What?"
"Sir!"
"Hiccup!"
Here the visiter bowed and withdrew - in what manner could not precisely be ascertained - but in a well-
concerted effort to discharge a bottle at "the villain," the slender chain was severed that depended from
the ceiling, and the metaphysician prostrated by the downfall of the lamp.
FOR the most wild, yet most homely narrative which I am about to pen, I neither expect nor solicit belief.
Mad indeed would I be to expect it, in a case where my very senses reject their own evidence. Yet, mad
am I not - and very surely do I not dream. But to-morrow I die, and to-day I would unburthen my soul. My
immediate purpose is to place before the world, plainly, succinctly, and without comment, a series of mere
household events. In their consequences, these events have terrified - have tortured - have destroyed me.
Yet I will not attempt to expound them. To me, they have presented little but Horror - to many they will
seem less terrible than barroques. Hereafter, perhaps, some intellect may be found which will reduce my
phantasm to the common-place - some intellect more calm, more logical, and far less excitable than my
own, which will perceive, in the circumstances I detail with awe, nothing more than an ordinary
succession of very natural causes and effects.
From my infancy I was noted for the docility and humanity of my disposition. My tenderness of heart was
even so conspicuous as to make me the jest of my companions. I was especially fond of animals, and was
indulged by my parents with a great variety of pets. With these I spent most of my time, and never was so
happy as when feeding and caressing them. This peculiarity of character grew with my growth, and in my
manhood, I derived from it one of my principal sources of pleasure. To those who have cherished an
affection for a faithful and sagacious dog, I need hardly be at the trouble of explaining the nature or the
intensity of the gratification thus derivable. There is something in the unselfish and self-sacrificing love of
a brute, which goes directly to the heart of him who has had frequent occasion to test the paltry
friendship and gossamer fidelity of mere Man.
I married early, and was happy to find in my wife a disposition not uncongenial with my own. Observing
my partiality for domestic pets, she lost no opportunity of procuring those of the most agreeable kind. We
had birds, gold-fish, a fine dog, rabbits, a small monkey, and a cat.
This latter was a remarkably large and beautiful animal, entirely black, and sagacious to an astonishing
degree. In speaking of his intelligence, my wife, who at heart was not a little tinctured with superstition,
made frequent allusion to the ancient popular notion, which regarded all black cats as witches in
disguise. Not that she was ever serious upon this point - and I mention the matter at all for no better
reason than that it happens, just now, to be remembered.
Pluto - this was the cat's name - was my favorite pet and playmate. I alone fed him, and he attended me
wherever I went about the house. It was even with difficulty that I could prevent him from following me
through the streets.
Our friendship lasted, in this manner, for several years, during which my general temperament and
character - through the instrumentality of the Fiend Intemperance - had (I blush to confess it)
experienced a radical alteration for the worse. I grew, day by day, more moody, more irritable, more
regardless of the feelings of others. I suffered myself to use intemperate language to my wife. At length, I
even offered her personal violence. My pets, of course, were made to feel the change in my disposition. I
not only neglected, but ill-used them. For Pluto, however, I still retained sufficient regard to restrain me
from maltreating him, as I made no scruple of maltreating the rabbits, the monkey, or even the dog, when
by accident, or through affection, they came in my way. But my disease grew upon me - for what disease
is like Alcohol! - and at length even Pluto, who was now becoming old, and consequently somewhat
peevish - even Pluto began to experience the effects of my ill temper.
One night, returning home, much intoxicated, from one of my haunts about town, I fancied that the cat
avoided my presence. I seized him; when, in his fright at my violence, he inflicted a slight wound upon my
hand with his teeth. The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. My original
soul seemed, at once, to take its flight from my body and a more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured,
thrilled every fibre of my frame. I took from my waistcoat-pocket a pen-knife, opened it, grasped the poor
beast by the throat, and deliberately cut one of its eyes from the socket! I blush, I burn, I shudder, while I
pen the damnable atrocity.
When reason returned with the morning - when I had slept off the fumes of the night's debauch - I
experienced a sentiment half of horror, half of remorse, for the crime of which I had been guilty; but it
was, at best, a feeble and equivocal feeling, and the soul remained untouched. I again plunged into
excess, and soon drowned in wine all memory of the deed.
In the meantime the cat slowly recovered. The socket of the lost eye presented, it is true, a frightful
appearance, but he no longer appeared to suffer any pain. He went about the house as usual, but, as
might be expected, fled in extreme terror at my approach. I had so much of my old heart left, as to be at
first grieved by this evident dislike on the part of a creature which had once so loved me. But this feeling
soon gave place to irritation. And then came, as if to my final and irrevocable overthrow, the spirit of
PERVERSENESS. Of this spirit philosophy takes no account. Yet I am not more sure that my soul lives,
than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart - one of the indivisible
primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man. Who has not, a hundred
times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other reason than because he knows he
should not? Have we not a perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is
Law, merely because we understand it to be such? This spirit of perverseness, I say, came to my final
overthrow. It was this unfathomable longing of the soul to vex itself - to offer violence to its own nature -
to do wrong for the wrong's sake only - that urged me to continue and finally to consummate the injury I
had inflicted upon the unoffending brute. One morning, in cool blood, I slipped a noose about its neck and
hung it to the limb of a tree; - hung it with the tears streaming from my eyes, and with the bitterest
remorse at my heart; - hung it because I knew that it had loved me, and because I felt it had given me no
reason of offence; - hung it because I knew that in so doing I was committing a sin - a deadly sin that
would so jeopardize my immortal soul as to place it - if such a thing wore possible - even beyond the reach
of the infinite mercy of the Most Merciful and Most Terrible God.
On the night of the day on which this cruel deed was done, I was aroused from sleep by the cry of fire.
The curtains of my bed were in flames. The whole house was blazing. It was with great difficulty that my
wife, a servant, and myself, made our escape from the conflagration. The destruction was complete. My
entire worldly wealth was swallowed up, and I resigned myself thenceforward to despair.
I am above the weakness of seeking to establish a sequence of cause and effect, between the disaster and
the atrocity. But I am detailing a chain of facts - and wish not to leave even a possible link imperfect. On
the day succeeding the fire, I visited the ruins. The walls, with one exception, had fallen in. This exception
was found in a compartment wall, not very thick, which stood about the middle of the house, and against
which had rested the head of my bed. The plastering had here, in great measure, resisted the action of
the fire - a fact which I attributed to its having been recently spread. About this wall a dense crowd were
collected, and many persons seemed to be examining a particular portion of it with very minute and eager
attention. The words "strange!" "singular!" and other similar expressions, excited my curiosity. I
approached and saw, as if graven in bas relief upon the white surface, the figure of a gigantic cat. The
impression was given with an accuracy truly marvellous. There was a rope about the animal's neck.
When I first beheld this apparition - for I could scarcely regard it as less - my wonder and my terror were
extreme. But at length reflection came to my aid. The cat, I remembered, had been hung in a garden
adjacent to the house. Upon the alarm of fire, this garden had been immediately filled by the crowd - by
some one of whom the animal must have been cut from the tree and thrown, through an open window,
into my chamber. This had probably been done with the view of arousing me from sleep. The falling of
other walls had compressed the victim of my cruelty into the substance of the freshly-spread plaster; the
lime of which, with the flames, and the ammonia from the carcass, had then accomplished the portraiture
as I saw it.
Although I thus readily accounted to my reason, if not altogether to my conscience, for the startling fact
just detailed, it did not the less fail to make a deep impression upon my fancy. For months I could not rid
myself of the phantasm of the cat; and, during this period, there came back into my spirit a half-sentiment
that seemed, but was not, remorse. I went so far as to regret the loss of the animal, and to look about me,
among the vile haunts which I now habitually frequented, for another pet of the same species, and of
somewhat similar appearance, with which to supply its place.
One night as I sat, half stupified, in a den of more than infamy, my attention was suddenly drawn to some
black object, reposing upon the head of one of the immense hogsheads of Gin, or of Rum, which
constituted the chief furniture of the apartment. I had been looking steadily at the top of this hogshead
for some minutes, and what now caused me surprise was the fact that I had not sooner perceived the
object thereupon. I approached it, and touched it with my hand. It was a black cat - a very large one - fully
as large as Pluto, and closely resembling him in every respect but one. Pluto had not a white hair upon
any portion of his body; but this cat had a large, although indefinite splotch of white, covering nearly the
whole region of the breast. Upon my touching him, he immediately arose, purred loudly, rubbed against
my hand, and appeared delighted with my notice. This, then, was the very creature of which I was in
search. I at once offered to purchase it of the landlord; but this person made no claim to it - knew nothing
of it - had never seen it before.
I continued my caresses, and, when I prepared to go home, the animal evinced a disposition to
accompany me. I permitted it to do so; occasionally stooping and patting it as I proceeded. When it
reached the house it domesticated itself at once, and became immediately a great favorite with my wife.
For my own part, I soon found a dislike to it arising within me. This was just the reverse of what I had
anticipated; but - I know not how or why it was - its evident fondness for myself rather disgusted and
annoyed. By slow degrees, these feelings of disgust and annoyance rose into the bitterness of hatred. I
avoided the creature; a certain sense of shame, and the remembrance of my former deed of cruelty,
preventing me from physically abusing it. I did not, for some weeks, strike, or otherwise violently ill use
it; but gradually - very gradually - I came to look upon it with unutterable loathing, and to flee silently
from its odious presence, as from the breath of a pestilence.
What added, no doubt, to my hatred of the beast, was the discovery, on the morning after I brought it
home, that, like Pluto, it also had been deprived of one of its eyes. This circumstance, however, only
endeared it to my wife, who, as I have already said, possessed, in a high degree, that humanity of feeling
which had once been my distinguishing trait, and the source of many of my simplest and purest pleasures.
With my aversion to this cat, however, its partiality for myself seemed to increase. It followed my
footsteps with a pertinacity which it would be difficult to make the reader comprehend. Whenever I sat, it
would crouch beneath my chair, or spring upon my knees, covering me with its loathsome caresses. If I
arose to walk it would get between my feet and thus nearly throw me down, or, fastening its long and
sharp claws in my dress, clamber, in this manner, to my breast. At such times, although I longed to
destroy it with a blow, I was yet withheld from so doing, partly by a memory of my former crime, but
chiefly - let me confess it at once - by absolute dread of the beast.
This dread was not exactly a dread of physical evil - and yet I should be at a loss how otherwise to define
it. I am almost ashamed to own - yes, even in this felon's cell, I am almost ashamed to own - that the
terror and horror with which the animal inspired me, had been heightened by one of the merest
chimaeras it would be possible to conceive. My wife had called my attention, more than once, to the
character of the mark of white hair, of which I have spoken, and which constituted the sole visible
difference between the strange beast and the one I had destroyed. The reader will remember that this
mark, although large, had been originally very indefinite; but, by slow degrees - degrees nearly
imperceptible, and which for a long time my Reason struggled to reject as fanciful - it had, at length,
assumed a rigorous distinctness of outline. It was now the representation of an object that I shudder to
name - and for this, above all, I loathed, and dreaded, and would have rid myself of the monster had I
dared - it was now, I say, the image of a hideous - of a ghastly thing - of the GALLOWS! - oh, mournful and
terrible engine of Horror and of Crime - of Agony and of Death!
And now was I indeed wretched beyond the wretchedness of mere Humanity. And a brute beast - whose
fellow I had contemptuously destroyed - a brute beast to work out for me - for me a man, fashioned in the
image of the High God - so much of insufferable wo! Alas! neither by day nor by night knew I the blessing
of Rest any more! During the former the creature left me no moment alone; and, in the latter, I started,
hourly, from dreams of unutterable fear, to find the hot breath of the thing upon my face, and its vast
weight - an incarnate Night-Mare that I had no power to shake off - incumbent eternally upon my heart!
Beneath the pressure of torments such as these, the feeble remnant of the good within me succumbed.
Evil thoughts became my sole intimates - the darkest and most evil of thoughts. The moodiness of my
usual temper increased to hatred of all things and of all mankind; while, from the sudden, frequent, and
ungovernable outbursts of a fury to which I now blindly abandoned myself, my uncomplaining wife, alas!
was the most usual and the most patient of sufferers.
One day she accompanied me, upon some household errand, into the cellar of the old building which our
poverty compelled us to inhabit. The cat followed me down the steep stairs, and, nearly throwing me
headlong, exasperated me to madness. Uplifting an axe, and forgetting, in my wrath, the childish dread
which had hitherto stayed my hand, I aimed a blow at the animal which, of course, would have proved
instantly fatal had it descended as I wished. But this blow was arrested by the hand of my wife. Goaded,
by the interference, into a rage more than demoniacal, I withdrew my arm from her grasp and buried the
axe in her brain. She fell dead upon the spot, without a groan.
This hideous murder accomplished, I set myself forthwith, and with entire deliberation, to the task of
concealing the body. I knew that I could not remove it from the house, either by day or by night, without
the risk of being observed by the neighbors. Many projects entered my mind. At one period I thought of
cutting the corpse into minute fragments, and destroying them by fire. At another, I resolved to dig a
grave for it in the floor of the cellar. Again, I deliberated about casting it in the well in the yard - about
packing it in a box, as if merchandize, with the usual arrangements, and so getting a porter to take it
from the house. Finally I hit upon what I considered a far better expedient than either of these. I
determined to wall it up in the cellar - as the monks of the middle ages are recorded to have walled up
their victims.
For a purpose such as this the cellar was well adapted. Its walls were loosely constructed, and had lately
been plastered throughout with a rough plaster, which the dampness of the atmosphere had prevented
from hardening. Moreover, in one of the walls was a projection, caused by a false chimney, or fireplace,
that had been filled up, and made to resemble the red of the cellar. I made no doubt that I could readily
displace the bricks at this point, insert the corpse, and wall the whole up as before, so that no eye could
detect any thing suspicious. And in this calculation I was not deceived. By means of a crow-bar I easily
dislodged the bricks, and, having carefully deposited the body against the inner wall, I propped it in that
position, while, with little trouble, I re-laid the whole structure as it originally stood. Having procured
mortar, sand, and hair, with every possible precaution, I prepared a plaster which could not be
distinguished from the old, and with this I very carefully went over the new brickwork. When I had
finished, I felt satisfied that all was right. The wall did not present the slightest appearance of having
been disturbed. The rubbish on the floor was picked up with the minutest care. I looked around
triumphantly, and said to myself - "Here at least, then, my labor has not been in vain."
My next step was to look for the beast which had been the cause of so much wretchedness; for I had, at
length, firmly resolved to put it to death. Had I been able to meet with it, at the moment, there could have
been no doubt of its fate; but it appeared that the crafty animal had been alarmed at the violence of my
previous anger, and forebore to present itself in my present mood. It is impossible to describe, or to
imagine, the deep, the blissful sense of relief which the absence of the detested creature occasioned in
my bosom. It did not make its appearance during the night - and thus for one night at least, since its
introduction into the house, I soundly and tranquilly slept; aye, slept even with the burden of murder
upon my soul!
The second and the third day passed, and still my tormentor came not. Once again I breathed as a
freeman. The monster, in terror, had fled the premises forever! I should behold it no more! My happiness
was supreme! The guilt of my dark deed disturbed me but little. Some few inquiries had been made, but
these had been readily answered. Even a search had been instituted - but of course nothing was to be
discovered. I looked upon my future felicity as secured.
Upon the fourth day of the assassination, a party of the police came, very unexpectedly, into the house,
and proceeded again to make rigorous investigation of the premises. Secure, however, in the
inscrutability of my place of concealment, I felt no embarrassment whatever. The officers bade me
accompany them in their search. They left no nook or corner unexplored. At length, for the third or fourth
time, they descended into the cellar. I quivered not in a muscle. My heart beat calmly as that of one who
slumbers in innocence. I walked the cellar from end to end. I folded my arms upon my bosom, and roamed
easily to and fro. The police were thoroughly satisfied and prepared to depart. The glee at my heart was
too strong to be restrained. I burned to say if but one word, by way of triumph, and to render doubly sure
their assurance of my guiltlessness.
"Gentlemen," I said at last, as the party ascended the steps, "I delight to have allayed your suspicions. I
wish you all health, and a little more courtesy. By the bye, gentlemen, this - this is a very well constructed
house." [In the rabid desire to say something easily, I scarcely knew what I uttered at all.] - "I may say an
excellently well constructed house. These walls are you going, gentlemen? - these walls are solidly put
together;" and here, through the mere phrenzy of bravado, I rapped heavily, with a cane which I held in
my hand, upon that very portion of the brick-work behind which stood the corpse of the wife of my bosom.
But may God shield and deliver me from the fangs of the Arch-Fiend! No sooner had the reverberation of
my blows sunk into silence, than I was answered by a voice from within the tomb! - by a cry, at first
muffled and broken, like the sobbing of a child, and then quickly swelling into one long, loud, and
continuous scream, utterly anomalous and inhuman - a howl - a wailing shriek, half of horror and half of
triumph, such as might have arisen only out of hell, conjointly from the throats of the dammed in their
agony and of the demons that exult in the damnation.
Of my own thoughts it is folly to speak. Swooning, I staggered to the opposite wall. For one instant the
party upon the stairs remained motionless, through extremity of terror and of awe. In the next, a dozen
stout arms were toiling at the wall. It fell bodily. The corpse, already greatly decayed and clotted with
gore, stood erect before the eyes of the spectators. Upon its head, with red extended mouth and solitary
eye of fire, sat the hideous beast whose craft had seduced me into murder, and whose informing voice had
consigned me to the hangman. I had walled the monster up within the tomb!
THE BUSINESS MAN
I AM a business man. I am a methodical man. Method is the thing, after all. But there are no people I
more heartily despise than your eccentric fools who prate about method without understanding it;
attending strictly to its letter, and violating its spirit. These fellows are always doing the most out-of-the-
way things in what they call an orderly manner. Now here, I conceive, is a positive paradox. True method
appertains to the ordinary and the obvious alone, and cannot be applied to the outre. What definite idea
can a body attach to such expressions as "methodical Jack o' Dandy," or "a systematical Will o' the Wisp"?
My notions upon this head might not have been so clear as they are, but for a fortunate accident which
happened to me when I was a very little boy. A good-hearted old Irish nurse (whom I shall not forget in my
will) took me up one day by the heels, when I was making more noise than was necessary, and swinging
me round two or knocked my head into a cocked hat against the bedpost. This, I say, decided my fate, and
made my fortune. A bump arose at once on my sinciput, and turned out to be as pretty an organ of order
as one shall see on a summer's day. Hence that positive appetite for system and regularity which has
made me the distinguished man of business that I am.
If there is any thing on earth I hate, it is a genius. Your geniuses are all arrant asses -- the greater the
genius the greater the ass -- and to this rule there is no exception whatever. Especially, you cannot make a
man of business out of a genius, any more than money out of a Jew, or the best nutmegs out of pine-knots.
The creatures are always going off at a tangent into some fantastic employment, or ridiculous
speculation, entirely at variance with the "fitness of things," and having no business whatever to be
considered as a business at all. Thus you may tell these characters immediately by the nature of their
occupations. If you ever perceive a man setting up as a merchant or a manufacturer, or going into the
cotton or tobacco trade, or any of those eccentric pursuits; or getting to be a drygoods dealer, or soap-
boiler, or something of that kind; or pretending to be a lawyer, or a blacksmith, or a physician -- any thing
out of the usual way -- you may set him down at once as a genius, and then, according to the rule-of-three,
he's an ass.
Now I am not in any respect a genius, but a regular business man. My Day-book and Ledger will evince
this in a minute. They are well kept, though I say it myself; and, in my general habits of accuracy and
punctuality, I am not to be beat by a clock. Moreover, my occupations have been always made to chime in
with the ordinary habitudes of my fellowmen. Not that I feel the least indebted, upon this score, to my
exceedingly weak-minded parents, who, beyond doubt, would have made an arrant genius of me at last, if
my guardian angel had not come, in good time, to the rescue. In biography the truth is every thing, and in
autobiography it is especially so -- yet I scarcely hope to be believed when I state, however solemnly, that
my poor father put me, when I was about fifteen years of age, into the counting-house of what be termed
"a respectable hardware and commission merchant doing a capital bit of business!" A capital bit of
fiddlestick! However, the consequence of this folly was, that in two or three days, I had to be sent home to
my button-headed family in a high state of fever, and with a most violent and dangerous pain in the
sinciput, all around about my organ of order. It was nearly a gone case with me then -- just touch-and-go
for six weeks -- the physicians giving me up and all that sort of thing. But, although I suffered much, I was
a thankful boy in the main. I was saved from being a "respectable hardware and commission merchant,
doing a capital bit of business," and I felt grateful to the protuberance which had been the means of my
salvation, as well as to the kindhearted female who had originally put these means within my reach.
The most of boys run away from home at ten or twelve years of age, but I waited till I was sixteen. I don't
know that I should have gone even then, if I had not happened to hear my old mother talk about setting
me up on my own hook in the grocery way. The grocery way! -- only think of that! I resolved to be off
forthwith, and try and establish myself in some decent occupation, without dancing attendance any longer
upon the caprices of these eccentric old people, and running the risk of being made a genius of in the
end. In this project I succeeded perfectly well at the first effort, and by the time I was fairly eighteen,
found myself doing an extensive and profitable business in the Tailor's Walking-Advertisement line.
I was enabled to discharge the onerous duties of this profession, only by that rigid adherence to system
which formed the leading feature of my mind. A scrupulous method characterized my actions as well as
my accounts. In my case it was method -- not money -- which made the man: at least all of him that was
not made by the tailor whom I served. At nine, every morning, I called upon that individual for the clothes
of the day. Ten o'clock found me in some fashionable promenade or other place of public amusement. The
precise regularity with which I turned my handsome person about, so as to bring successively into view
every portion of the suit upon my back, was the admiration of all the knowing men in the trade. Noon
never passed without my bringing home a customer to the house of my employers, Messrs. Cut &
Comeagain. I say this proudly, but with tears in my eyes -- for the firm proved themselves the basest of
ingrates. The little account, about which we quarreled and finally parted, cannot, in any item, be thought
overcharged, by gentlemen really conversant with the nature of the business. Upon this point, however, I
feel a degree of proud satisfaction in permitting the reader to judge for himself. My bill ran thus:
Messrs. Cut & Comeagain, Merchant Tailors. To Peter Proffit, Walking Advertiser, Drs. JULY 10. -- to
promenade, as usual and customer brought home... $00 25 JULY 11. -- To do do do 25 JULY 12. -- To one
lie, second class; damaged black cloth sold for invisible green............................................... 25
JULY 13. -- To one lie, first class, extra quality and size; recommended milled satinet as
broadcloth...................... 75
JULY 20. -- To purchasing bran new paper shirt collar or dickey, to set off gray
Petersham..................................... 02
AUG. 16. -- Standing on one leg three hours, to show off new-style strapped pants at 12 1/2 cents per leg
per hour............. 37 1/2
The item chiefly disputed in this bill was the very moderate charge of two pennies for the dickey. Upon my
word of honor, this was not an unreasonable price for that dickey. It was one of the cleanest and prettiest
little dickeys I ever saw; and I have good reason to believe that it effected the sale of three Petershams.
The elder partner of the firm, however, would allow me only one penny of the charge, and took it upon
himself to show in what manner four of the same sized conveniences could be got out of a sheet of
foolscap. But it is needless to say that I stood upon the principle of the thing. Business is business, and
should be done in a business way. There was no system whatever in swindling me out of a penny -- a clear
fraud of fifty per cent -- no method in any respect. I left at once the employment of Messrs. Cut &
Comeagain, and set up in the Eye-Sore line by myself -- one of the most lucrative, respectable, and
independent of the ordinary occupations.
My strict integrity, economy, and rigorous business habits, here again came into play. I found myself
driving a flourishing trade, and soon became a marked man upon 'Change. The truth is, I never dabbled
in flashy matters, but jogged on in the good old sober routine of the calling -- a calling in which I should,
no doubt, have remained to the present hour, but for a little accident which happened to me in the
prosecution of one of the usual business operations of the profession. Whenever a rich old hunks or
prodigal heir or bankrupt corporation gets into the notion of putting up a palace, there is no such thing in
the world as stopping either of them, and this every intelligent person knows. The fact in question is
indeed the basis of the Eye-Sore trade. As soon, therefore, as a building-project is fairly afoot by one of
these parties, we merchants secure a nice corner of the lot in contemplation, or a prime little situation
just adjoining, or tight in front. This done, we wait until the palace is half-way up, and then we pay some
tasty architect to run us up an ornamental mud hovel, right against it; or a Down-East or Dutch Pagoda,
or a pig-sty, or an ingenious little bit of fancy work, either Esquimau, Kickapoo, or Hottentot. Of course
we can't afford to take these structures down under a bonus of five hundred per cent upon the prime cost
of our lot and plaster. Can we? I ask the question. I ask it of business men. It would be irrational to
suppose that we can. And yet there was a rascally corporation which asked me to do this very thing -- this
very thing! I did not reply to their absurd proposition, of course; but I felt it a duty to go that same night,
and lamp-black the whole of their palace. For this the unreasonable villains clapped me into jail; and the
gentlemen of the Eye-Sore trade could not well avoid cutting my connection when I came out.
The Assault-and-Battery business, into which I was now forced to adventure for a livelihood, was
somewhat ill-adapted to the delicate nature of my constitution; but I went to work in it with a good heart,
and found my account here, as heretofore, in those stern habits of methodical accuracy which had been
thumped into me by that delightful old nurse -- I would indeed be the basest of men not to remember her
well in my will. By observing, as I say, the strictest system in all my dealings, and keeping a well-
regulated set of books, I was enabled to get over many serious difficulties, and, in the end, to establish
myself very decently in the profession. The truth is, that few individuals, in any line, did a snugger little
business than I. I will just copy a page or so out of my Day-Book; and this will save me the necessity of
blowing my own trumpet -- a contemptible practice of which no high-minded man will be guilty. Now, the
Day-Book is a thing that don't lie.
"Jan. 1. -- New Year's Day. Met Snap in the street, groggy. Mem -- he'll do. Met Gruff shortly afterward,
blind drunk. Mem -- he'll answer, too. Entered both gentlemen in my Ledger, and opened a running
account with each.
"Jan. 2. -- Saw Snap at the Exchange, and went up and trod on his toe. Doubled his fist and knocked me
down. Good! -- got up again. Some trifling difficulty with Bag, my attorney. I want the damages at a
thousand, but he says that for so simple a knock down we can't lay them at more than five hundred. Mem
-- must get rid of Bag -- no system at all.
"Jan. 3 -- Went to the theatre, to look for Gruff. Saw him sitting in a side box, in the second tier, between a
fat lady and a lean one. Quizzed the whole party through an opera-glass, till I saw the fat lady blush and
whisper to G. Went round, then, into the box, and put my nose within reach of his hand. Wouldn't pull it --
no go. Blew it, and tried again -- no go. Sat down then, and winked at the lean lady, when I had the high
satisfaction of finding him lift me up by the nape of the neck, and fling me over into the pit. Neck
dislocated, and right leg capitally splintered. Went home in high glee, drank a bottle of champagne, and
booked the young man for five thousand. Bag says it'll do.
"Feb. 15 -- Compromised the case of Mr. Snap. Amount entered in Journal -- fifty cents -- which see.
"Feb. 16. -- Cast by that ruffian, Gruff, who made me a present of five dollars. Costs of suit, four dollars
and twenty-five cents. Nett profit, -- see Journal,- seventy-five cents."
Now, here is a clear gain, in a very brief period, of no less than one dollar and twenty-five cents -- this is
in the mere cases of Snap and Gruff; and I solemnly assure the reader that these extracts are taken at
random from my Day-Book.
It's an old saying, and a true one, however, that money is nothing in comparison with health. I found the
exactions of the profession somewhat too much for my delicate state of body; and, discovering, at last,
that I was knocked all out of shape, so that I didn't know very well what to make of the matter, and so that
my friends, when they met me in the street, couldn't tell that I was Peter Proffit at all, it occurred to me
that the best expedient I could adopt was to alter my line of business. I turned my attention, therefore, to
Mud-Dabbling, and continued it for some years.
The worst of this occupation is, that too many people take a fancy to it, and the competition is in
consequence excessive. Every ignoramus of a fellow who finds that he hasn't brains in sufficient quantity
to make his way as a walking advertiser, or an eye-sore prig, or a salt-and-batter man, thinks, of course,
that he'll answer very well as a dabbler of mud. But there never was entertained a more erroneous idea
than that it requires no brains to mud-dabble. Especially, there is nothing to be made in this way without
method. I did only a retail business myself, but my old habits of system carried me swimmingly along. I
selected my street-crossing, in the first place, with great deliberation, and I never put down a broom in
any part of the town but that. I took care, too, to have a nice little puddle at hand, which I could get at in
a minute. By these means I got to be well known as a man to be trusted; and this is one-half the battle, let
me tell you, in trade. Nobody ever failed to pitch me a copper, and got over my crossing with a clean pair
of pantaloons. And, as my business habits, in this respect, were sufficiently understood, I never met with
any attempt at imposition. I wouldn't have put up with it, if I had. Never imposing upon any one myself, I
suffered no one to play the possum with me. The frauds of the banks of course I couldn't help. Their
suspension put me to ruinous inconvenience. These, however, are not individuals, but corporations; and
corporations, it is very well known, have neither bodies to be kicked nor souls to be damned.
I was making money at this business when, in an evil moment, I was induced to merge it in the Cur-
Spattering -- a somewhat analogous, but, by no means, so respectable a profession. My location, to be
sure, was an excellent one, being central, and I had capital blacking and brushes. My little dog, too, was
quite fat and up to all varieties of snuff. He had been in the trade a long time, and, I may say, understood
it. Our general routine was this: -- Pompey, having rolled himself well in the mud, sat upon end at the shop
door, until he observed a dandy approaching in bright boots. He then proceeded to meet him, and gave
the Wellingtons a rub or two with his wool. Then the dandy swore very much, and looked about for a boot-
black. There I was, full in his view, with blacking and brushes. It was only a minute's work, and then came
a sixpence. This did moderately well for a time; -- in fact, I was not avaricious, but my dog was. I allowed
him a third of the profit, but he was advised to insist upon half. This I couldn't stand -- so we quarrelled
and parted.
I next tried my hand at the Organ-Grinding for a while, and may say that I made out pretty well. It is a
plain, straightforward business, and requires no particular abilities. You can get a music-mill for a mere
song, and to put it in order, you have but to open the works, and give them three or four smart raps with a
hammer. In improves the tone of the thing, for business purposes, more than you can imagine. This done,
you have only to stroll along, with the mill on your back, until you see tanbark in the street, and a knocker
wrapped up in buckskin. Then you stop and grind; looking as if you meant to stop and grind till doomsday.
Presently a window opens, and somebody pitches you a sixpence, with a request to "Hush up and go on,"
etc. I am aware that some grinders have actually afforded to "go on" for this sum; but for my part, I found
the necessary outlay of capital too great to permit of my "going on" under a shilling.
At this occupation I did a good deal; but, somehow, I was not quite satisfied, and so finally abandoned it.
The truth is, I labored under the disadvantage of having no monkey -- and American streets are so muddy,
and a Democratic rabble is so obstrusive, and so full of demnition mischievous little boys.
I was now out of employment for some months, but at length succeeded, by dint of great interest, in
procuring a situation in the Sham-Post. The duties, here, are simple, and not altogether unprofitable. For
example: -- very early in the morning I had to make up my packet of sham letters. Upon the inside of each
of these I had to scrawl a few lines on any subject which occurred to me as sufficiently mysterious --
signing all the epistles Tom Dobson, or Bobby Tompkins, or anything in that way. Having folded and
sealed all, and stamped them with sham postmarks -- New Orleans, Bengal, Botany Bay, or any other
place a great way off- I set out, forthwith, upon my daily route, as if in a very great hurry. I always called
at the big houses to deliver the letters, and receive the postage. Nobody hesitates at paying for a letter --
especially for a double one -- people are such fools- and it was no trouble to get round a corner before
there was time to open the epistles. The worst of this profession was, that I had to walk so much and so
fast; and so frequently to vary my route. Besides, I had serious scruples of conscience. I can't bear to hear
innocent individuals abused -- and the way the whole town took to cursing Tom Dobson and Bobby
Tompkins was really awful to hear. I washed my hands of the matter in disgust.
My eighth and last speculation has been in the Cat-Growing way. I have found that a most pleasant and
lucrative business, and, really, no trouble at all. The country, it is well known, has become infested with
cats -- so much so of late, that a petition for relief, most numerously and respectably signed, was brought
before the Legislature at its late memorable session. The Assembly, at this epoch, was unusually well-
informed, and, having passed many other wise and wholesome enactments, it crowned all with the Cat-
Act. In its original form, this law offered a premium for cat-heads (fourpence a-piece), but the Senate
succeeded in amending the main clause, so as to substitute the word "tails" for "heads." This amendment
was so obviously proper, that the House concurred in it nem. con.
As soon as the governor had signed the bill, I invested my whole estate in the purchase of Toms and
Tabbies. At first I could only afford to feed them upon mice (which are cheap), but they fulfilled the
scriptural injunction at so marvellous a rate, that I at length considered it my best policy to be liberal, and
so indulged them in oysters and turtle. Their tails, at a legislative price, now bring me in a good income;
for I have discovered a way, in which, by means of Macassar oil, I can force three crops in a year. It
delights me to find, too, that the animals soon get accustomed to the thing, and would rather have the
appendages cut off than otherwise. I consider myself, therefore, a made man, and am bargaining for a
country seat on the Hudson.
THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO.
THE thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I
vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave
utterance to a threat. At length I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled - but the very
definitiveness with which it was resolved, precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but punish
with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed
when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.
It must be understood, that neither by word nor deed had I given Fortunato cause to doubt my good will. I
continued, as was my wont, to smile in his face, and he did not perceive that my smile now was at the
thought of his immolation.
He had a weak point - this Fortunato - although in other regards he was a man to be respected and even
feared. He prided himself on his connoisseurship in wine. Few Italians have the true virtuoso spirit. For
the most part their enthusiasm is adopted to suit the time and opportunity - to practise imposture upon
the British and Austrian millionaires. In painting and gemmary, Fortunato, like his countrymen, was a
quack - but in the matter of old wines he was sincere. In this respect I did not differ from him materially: I
was skilful in the Italian vintages myself, and bought largely whenever I could.
It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival season, that I encountered
my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been drinking much. The man wore motley.
He had on a tight-fitting parti-striped dress, and his head was surmounted by the conical cap and bells. I
was so pleased to see him, that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.
I said to him - "My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day! But I
have received a pipe of what passes for Amontillado, and I have my doubts."
"How?" said he. "Amontillado? A pipe? Impossible! And in the middle of the carnival!"
"I have my doubts," I replied; "and I was silly enough to pay the full Amontillado price without consulting
you in the matter. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."
"Amontillado!"
"Amontillado!"
"Amontillado!"
"As you are engaged, I am on my way to Luchesi. If any one has a critical turn, it is he. He will tell me --"
"And yet some fools will have it that his taste is a match for your own."
"Whither?"
"My friend, no; I will not impose upon your good nature. I perceive you have an engagement. Luchesi --"
"My friend, no. It is not the engagement, but the severe cold with which I perceive you are afflicted. The
vaults are insufferably damp. They are encrusted with nitre."
"Let us go, nevertheless. The cold is merely nothing. Amontillado! You have been imposed upon. And as
for Luchesi, he cannot distinguish Sherry from Amontillado."
Thus speaking, Fortunato possessed himself of my arm. Putting on a mask of black silk, and drawing a
roquelaire closely about my person, I suffered him to hurry me to my palazzo.
There were no attendants at home; they had absconded to make merry in honor of the time. I had told
them that I should not return until the morning, and had given them explicit orders not to stir from the
house. These orders were sufficient, I well knew, to insure their immediate disappearance, one and all, as
soon as my back was turned.
I took from their sconces two flambeaux, and giving one to Fortunato, bowed him through several suites
of rooms to the archway that led into the vaults. I passed down a long and winding staircase, requesting
him to be cautious as he followed. We came at length to the foot of the descent, and stood together on the
damp ground of the catacombs of the Montresors.
The gait of my friend was unsteady, and the bells upon his cap jingled as he strode.
"It is farther on," said I; "but observe the white web-work which gleams from these cavern walls."
He turned towards me, and looked into my eyes with two filmy orbs that distilled the rheum of
intoxication.
"Ugh! ugh! ugh! - ugh! ugh! ugh! - ugh! ugh! ugh! - ugh! ugh! ugh! - ugh! ugh! ugh!"
"Come," I said, with decision, "we will go back; your health is precious. You are rich, respected, admired,
beloved; you are happy, as once I was. You are a man to be missed. For me it is no matter. We will go
back; you will be ill, and I cannot be responsible. Besides, there is Luchesi --"
"Enough," he said; "the cough is a mere nothing; it will not kill me. I shall not die of a cough."
"True - true," I replied; "and, indeed, I had no intention of alarming you unnecessarily - but you should
use all proper caution. A draught of this Medoc will defend us from the damps."
Here I knocked off the neck of a bottle which I drew from a long row of its fellows that lay upon the
mould.
He raised it to his lips with a leer. He paused and nodded to me familiarly, while his bells jingled.
"I drink," he said, "to the buried that repose around us."
"A huge human foot d'or, in a field azure; the foot crushes a serpent rampant whose fangs are imbedded
in the heel."
"Good!" he said.
The wine sparkled in his eyes and the bells jingled. My own fancy grew warm with the Medoc. We had
passed through walls of piled bones, with casks and puncheons intermingling, into the inmost recesses of
the catacombs. I paused again, and this time I made bold to seize Fortunato by an arm above the elbow.
"The nitre!" I said: "see, it increases. It hangs like moss upon the vaults. We are below the river's bed. The
drops of moisture trickle among the bones. Come, we will go back ere it is too late. Your cough --"
"It is nothing," he said; "let us go on. But first, another draught of the Medoc."
I broke and reached him a flagon of De Grâve. He emptied it at a breath. His eyes flashed with a fierce
light. He laughed and threw the bottle upwards with a gesticulation I did not understand.
"How?"
"It is this," I answered, producing a trowel from beneath the folds of my roquelaire.
"You jest," he exclaimed, recoiling a few paces. "But let us proceed to the Amontillado."
"Be it so," I said, replacing the tool beneath the cloak, and again offering him my arm. He leaned upon it
heavily. We continued our route in search of the Amontillado. We passed through a range of low arches,
descended, passed on, and descending again, arrived at a deep crypt, in which the foulness of the air
caused our flambeaux rather to glow than flame.
At the most remote end of the crypt there appeared another less spacious. Its walls had been lined with
human remains, piled to the vault overhead, in the fashion of the great catacombs of Paris. Three sides of
this interior crypt were still ornamented in this manner. From the fourth the bones had been thrown
down, and lay promiscuously upon the earth, forming at one point a mound of some size. Within the wall
thus exposed by the displacing of the bones, we perceived a still interior recess, in depth about four feet,
in width three, in height six or seven. It seemed to have been constructed for no especial use in itself, but
formed merely the interval between two of the colossal supports of the roof of the catacombs, and was
backed by one of their circumscribing walls of solid granite.
It was in vain that Fortunato, uplifting his dull torch, endeavored to pry into the depths of the recess. Its
termination the feeble light did not enable us to see.
"Pass your hand," I said, "over the wall; you cannot help feeling the nitre. Indeed it is very damp. Once
more let me implore you to return. No? Then I must positively leave you. But I must first render you all
the little attentions in my power."
"The Amontillado!" ejaculated my friend, not yet recovered from his astonishment.
As I said these words I busied myself among the pile of bones of which I have before spoken. Throwing
them aside, I soon uncovered a quantity of building stone and mortar. With these materials and with the
aid of my trowel, I began vigorously to wall up the entrance of the niche.
I had scarcely laid the first tier of my masonry when I discovered that the intoxication of Fortunato had in
a great measure worn off. The earliest indication I had of this was a low moaning cry from the depth of
the recess. It was not the cry of a drunken man. There was then a long and obstinate silence. I laid the
second tier, and the third, and the fourth; and then I heard the furious vibrations of the chain. The noise
lasted for several minutes, during which, that I might hearken to it with the more satisfaction, I ceased
my labors and sat down upon the bones. When at last the clanking subsided, I resumed the trowel, and
finished without interruption the fifth, the sixth, and the seventh tier. The wall was now nearly upon a
level with my breast. I again paused, and holding the flambeaux over the mason-work, threw a few feeble
rays upon the figure within.
A succession of loud and shrill screams, bursting suddenly from the throat of the chained form, seemed to
thrust me violently back. For a brief moment I hesitated - I trembled. Unsheathing my rapier, I began to
grope with it about the recess: but the thought of an instant reassured me. I placed my hand upon the
solid fabric of the catacombs, and felt satisfied. I reapproached the wall. I replied to the yells of him who
clamored. I re-echoed - I aided - I surpassed them in volume and in strength. I did this, and the clamorer
grew still.
It was now midnight, and my task was drawing to a close. I had completed the eighth, the ninth, and the
tenth tier. I had finished a portion of the last and the eleventh; there remained but a single stone to be
fitted and plastered in. I struggled with its weight; I placed it partially in its destined position. But now
there came from out the niche a low laugh that erected the hairs upon my head. It was succeeded by a
sad voice, which I had difficulty in recognising as that of the noble Fortunato. The voice said -
"Ha! ha! ha! - he! he! - a very good joke indeed - an excellent jest. We will have many a rich laugh about it
at the palazzo - he! he! he! - over our wine - he! he! he!"
"He! he! he! - he! he! he! - yes, the Amontillado. But is it not getting late? Will not they be awaiting us at
the palazzo, the Lady Fortunato and the rest? Let us be gone."
But to these words I hearkened in vain for a reply. I grew impatient. I called aloud -
"Fortunato!"
"Fortunato!"
No answer still. I thrust a torch through the remaining aperture and let it fall within. There came forth in
return only a jingling of the bells. My heart grew sick - on account of the dampness of the catacombs. I
hastened to make an end of my labor. I forced the last stone into its position; I plastered it up. Against the
new masonry I re-erected the old rampart of bones. For the half of a century no mortal has disturbed
them. In pace requiescat!
Monos. Yes, fairest and best beloved Una, "born again." These were the words upon whose mystical
meaning I had so long pondered, rejecting the explanations of the priesthood, until Death himself
resolved for me the secret.
Una. Death!
Monos. How strangely, sweet Una, you echo my words! I observe, too, a vacillation in your step - a joyous
inquietude in your eyes. You are confused and oppressed by the majestic novelty of the Life Eternal. Yes,
it was of Death I spoke. And here how singularly sounds that word which of old was wont to bring terror
to all hearts - throwing a mildew upon all pleasures!
Una. Ah, Death, the spectre which sate at all feasts! How often, Monos, did we lose ourselves in
speculations upon its nature! How mysteriously did it act as a check to human bliss - saying unto it "thus
far, and no farther!" That earnest mutual love, my own Monos, which burned within our bosoms how
vainly did we flatter ourselves, feeling happy in its first up-springing, that our happiness would
strengthen with its strength! Alas! as it grew, so grew in our hearts the dread of that evil hour which was
hurrying to separate us forever! Thus, in time, it became painful to love. Hate would have been mercy
then.
Monos. Speak not here of these griefs, dear Una - mine, mine, forever now!
Una. But the memory of past sorrow - is it not present joy? I have much to say yet of the things which
have been. Above all, I burn to know the incidents of your own passage through the dark Valley and
Shadow.
Monos. And when did the radiant Una ask anything of her Monos in vain? I will be minute in relating all -
but at what point shall the weird narrative begin?
Una. Monos, I comprehend you. In Death we have both learned the propensity of man to define the
indefinable. I will not say, then, commence with the moment of life's cessation - but commence with that
sad, sad instant when, the fever having abandoned you, you sank into a breathless and motionless torpor,
and I pressed down your pallid eyelids with the passionate fingers of love.
Monos. One word first, my Una, in regard to man's general condition at this epoch. You will remember
that one or two of the wise among our forefathers - wise in fact, although not in the world's esteem - had
ventured to doubt the propriety of the term "improvement," as applied to the progress of our civilization.
There were periods in each of the five or six centuries immediately preceding our dissolution, when arose
some vigorous intellect, boldly contending for those principles whose truth appears now, to our
disenfranchised reason, so utterly obvious - principles which should have taught our race to submit to the
guidance of the natural laws, rather than attempt their control. At long intervals some masterminds
appeared, looking upon each advance in practical science as a retro-gradation in the true utility.
Occasionally the poetic intellect - that intellect which we now feel to have been the most exalted of all -
since those truths which to us were of the most enduring importance could only be reached by that
analogywhich speaks in proof tones to the imagination alone and to the unaided reason bears no weight -
occasionally did this poetic intellect proceed a step farther in the evolving of the vague idea of the
philosophic, and find in the mystic parable that tells of the tree of knowledge, and of its forbidden fruit,
death-producing, a distinct intimation that knowledge was not meet for man in the infant condition of his
soul. And these men - the poets - living and perishing amid the scorn of the "utilitarians" - of rough
pedants, who arrogated to themselves a title which could have been properly applied only to the scorned -
these men, the poets, pondered piningly, yet not unwisely, upon the ancient days when our wants were
not more simple than our enjoyments were keen - days when mirth was a word unknown, so solemnly
deep-toned was happiness - holy, august and blissful days, when blue rivers ran undammed, between hills
unhewn, into far forest solitudes, primaeval, odorous, and unexplored.
Yet these noble exceptions from the general misrule served but to strengthen it by opposition. Alas! we
had fallen upon the most evil of all our evil days. The great "movement" - that was the cant term - went
on: a diseased commotion, moral and physical. Art - the Arts - arose supreme, and, once enthroned, cast
chains upon the intellect which had elevated them to power. Man, because he could not but acknowledge
the majesty of Nature, fell into childish exultation at his acquired and still-increasing dominion over her
elements. Even while he stalked a God in his own fancy, an infantine imbecility came over him. As might
be supposed from the origin of his disorder, he grew infected with system, and with abstraction. He
enwrapped himself in generalities. Among other odd ideas, that of universal equality gained ground; and
in the face of analogy and of God - in despite of the loud warning voice of the laws of gradation so visibly
pervading all things in Earth an Heaven - wild attempts at an omni-prevalent Democracy were made. Yet
this evil sprang necessarily from the leading evil, Knowledge. Man could not both know and succumb.
Meantime huge smoking cities arose, innumerable. Green leaves shrank before the hot breath of
furnaces. The fair face of Nature was deformed as with the ravages of some loathsome disease. And
methinks, sweet Una, even our slumbering sense of the forced and of the far-fetched might have arrested
us here. But now it appears that we had worked out our own destruction in the perversion of our taste, or
rather in the blind neglect of its culture in the schools. For, in truth, it was at this crisis that taste alone -
that faculty which, holding a middle position between the pure intellect and the moral sense, could never
safely have been disregarded - it was now that taste alone could have led us gently back to Beauty, to
Nature, and to Life. But alas for the pure contemplative spirit and majestic intuition of Plato! Alas for the
which he justly regarded as an all-sufficient education for the soul! Alas for him and for it! - since both
were most desperately needed when both were most entirely forgotten or despised.
Pascal, a philosopher whom we both love, has said, how truly! - "que tout notre raisonnement se rèduit à
céder au sentiment;" and it is not impossible that the sentiment of the natural, had time permitted it,
would have regained its old ascendancy over the harsh mathematical reason of the schools. But this thing
was not to be. Prematurely induced by intemperance of knowledge the old age of the world drew on. This
the mass of mankind saw not, or, living lustily although unhappily, affected not to see. But, for myself, the
Earth's records had taught me to look for widest ruin as the price of highest civilization. I had imbibed a
prescience of our Fate from comparison of China the simple and enduring, with Assyria the architect, with
Egypt the astrologer, with Nubia, more crafty than either, the turbulent mother of all Arts. In history of
these regions I met with a ray from the Future. The individual artificialities of the three latter were local
diseases of the Earth, and in their individual overthrows we had seen local remedies applied; but for the
infected world at large I could anticipate no regeneration save in death. That man, as a race, should not
become extinct, I saw that he must be "born again."
And now it was, fairest and dearest, that we wrapped our spirits, daily, in dreams. Now it was that, in
twilight, we discoursed of the days to come, when the Art-scarred surface of the Earth, having undergone
that purification which alone could efface its rectangular obscenities, should clothe itself anew in the
verdure and the mountain-slopes and the smiling waters of Paradise, and be rendered at length a fit
dwelling-place for man: - for man the Death purged - for man to whose now exalted intellect there should
be poison in knowledge no more - for the redeemed, regenerated, blissful, and now immortal, but still for
the material, man.
Una. Well do I remember these conversations, dear Monos; but the epoch of the fiery overthrow was not
so near at hand as we believed, and as the corruption you indicate did surely warrant us in believing. Men
lived; and died individually. You yourself sickened, and passed into the grave; and thither your constant
Una speedily followed you. And though the century which has since elapsed, and whose conclusion brings
us thus together once more, tortured our slumbering senses with no impatience of duration, yet, my
Monos, it was a century still.
Monos. Say, rather, a point in the vague infinity. Unquestionably, it was in the Earth's dotage that I died.
Wearied at heart with anxieties which had their origin in the general turmoil and decay, I succumbed to
the fierce fever. After some few days of pain, and many of dreamy delirium replete with ecstasy, the
manifestations of which you mistook for pain, while I longed but was impotent to undeceive you - after
some days there came upon me, as you have said, a breathless and motionless torpor; and this was
termed Death by those who stood around me.
Words are vague things. My condition did not deprive me of sentience. It appeared to me not greatly
dissimilar to the extreme quiescence of him, who, having slumbered long and profoundly, lying motionless
and fully prostrate in a midsummer noon, begins to steal slowly back into consciousness, through the
mere sufficiency of his sleep, and without being awakened by external disturbances.
I breathed no longer. The pulses were still. The heart had ceased to beat. Volition had not departed, but
was powerless. The senses were unusually active, although eccentrically so - assuming often each other's
functions at random. The taste and the smell were inextricably confounded, and became one sentiment,
abnormal and intense. The rose-water with which your tenderness had moistened my lips to the last,
affected me with sweet fancies of flowers - fantastic flowers, far more lovely than any of the old Earth, but
whose prototypes we have here blooming around us. The eyelids, transparent and bloodless, offered no
complete impediment to vision. As volition was in abeyance, the balls could not roll in their sockets but all
objects within the range of the visual hemisphere were seen with more or less distinctness; the rays
which fell upon the external retina, or into the corner of the eye, producing a more vivid effect than those
which struck the front or interior surface. Yet, in the former instance, this effect was so far anomalous
that I appreciated it only as sound - sound sweet or discordant as the matters presenting themselves at
my side were light or dark in shade - curved or angular in outline. The hearing, at the same time,
although excited in degree, was not irregular in action - estimating real sounds with an extravagance of
precision, not less than of sensibility. Touch had undergone a modification more peculiar. Its impressions
were tardily received, but pertinaciously retained, and resulted always in the highest physical pleasure.
Thus the pressure of your sweet fingers upon my eyelids, at first only recognised through vision, at
length, long after their removal, filled my whole being with a sensual delight immeasurable. I say with a
sensual delight. All my perceptions were purely sensual. The materials furnished the passive brain by the
senses were not in the least degree wrought into shape by the deceased understanding. Of pain there was
some little; of pleasure there was much; but of moral pain or pleasure none at all. Thus your wild sobs
floated into my ear with all their mournful cadences, and were appreciated in their every variation of sad
tone; but they were soft musical sounds and no more; they conveyed to the extinct reason no intimation of
the sorrows which gave them birth; while the large and constant tears which fell upon my face, telling the
bystanders of a heart which broke, thrilled every fibre of my frame with ecstasy alone. And this was in
truth the Death of which these bystanders spoke reverently, in low whispers - you, sweet Una, gaspingly,
with loud cries.
They attired me for the coffin - three or four dark figures which flitted busily to and fro. As these crossed
the direct line of my vision they affected me as forms; but upon passing to my side their images impressed
me with the idea of shrieks, groans, and other dismal expressions of terror, of horror, or of wo. You alone,
habited in a white robe, passed in all directions musically about me.
The day waned; and, as its light faded away, I became possessed by a vague uneasiness - an anxiety such
as the sleeper feels when sad real sounds fall continuously within his ear - low distant bell-tones, solemn,
at long but equal intervals, and mingling with melancholy dreams. Night arrived; and with its shadows a
heavy discomfort. It oppressed my limbs with the oppression of some dull weight, and was palpable.
There was also a moaning sound, not unlike the distant reverberation of surf, but more continuous, which,
beginning with the first twilight, had grown in strength with the darkness. Suddenly lights were brought
into the room, and this reverberation became forthwith interrupted into frequent unequal bursts of the
same sound, but less dreary and less distinct. The ponderous oppression was in a great measure relieved;
and, issuing from the flame of each lamp, (for there were many,) there flowed unbrokenly into my ears a
strain of melodious monotone. And when now, dear Una, approaching the bed upon which I lay
outstretched, you sat gently by my side, breathing odor from your sweet lips, and pressing them upon my
brow, there arose tremulously within my bosom, and mingling with the merely physical sensations which
circumstances had called forth, a something akin to sentiment itself - a feeling that, half appreciating, half
responded to your earnest love and sorrow; but this feeling took no root in the pulseless heart, and
seemed indeed rather a shadow than a reality, and faded quickly away, first into extreme quiescence, and
then into a purely sensual pleasure as before.
And now, from the wreck and the chaos of the usual senses, there appeared to have arisen within me a
sixth, all perfect. In its exercise I found a wild delight - yet a delight still physical, inasmuch as the
understanding had in it no part. Motion in the animal frame had fully ceased. No muscle quivered; no
nerve thrilled; no artery throbbed. But there seemed to have sprung up in the brain, that of which no
words could convey to the merely human intelligence even an indistinct conception. Let me term it a
mental pendulous pulsation. It was the moral embodiment of man's abstract idea of Time. By the absolute
equalization of this movement - or of such as this - had the cycles of the firmamental orbs themselves,
been adjusted. By its aid I measured the irregularities of the clock upon the mantel, and of the watches of
the attendants. Their tickings came sonorously to my ears. The slightest deviations from the true
proportion - and these deviations were omni-praevalent - affected me just as violations of abstract truth
were wont, on earth, to affect the moral sense. Although no two of the time-pieces in the chamber struck
the individual seconds accurately together, yet I had no difficulty in holding steadily in mind the tones,
and the respective momentary errors of each. And this - this keen, perfect, self-existing sentiment of
duration - this sentiment existing (as man could not possibly have conceived it to exist) independently of
any succession of events - this idea - this sixth sense, upspringing from the ashes of the rest, was the first
obvious and certain step of the intemporal soul upon the threshold of the temporal Eternity.
It was midnight; and you still sat by my side. All others had departed from the chamber of Death. They
had deposited me in the coffin. The lamps burned flickeringly; for this I knew by the tremulousness of the
monotonous strains. But, suddenly these strains diminished in distinctness and in volume. Finally they
ceased. The perfume in my nostrils died away. Forms affected my vision no longer. The oppression of the
Darkness uplifted itself from my bosom. A dull shock like that of electricity pervaded my frame, and was
followed by total loss of the idea of contact. All of what man has termed sense was merged in the sole
consciousness of entity, and in the one abiding sentiment of duration. The mortal body had been at length
stricken with the hand of the deadly Decay.
Yet had not all of sentience departed; for the consciousness and the sentiment remaining supplied some
of its functions by a lethargic intuition. I appreciated the direful change now in operation upon the flesh,
and, as the dreamer is sometimes aware of the bodily presence of one who leans over him, so, sweet Una,
I still dully felt that you sat by my side. So, too, when the noon of the second day came, I was not
unconscious of those movements which displaced you from my side, which confined me within the coffin,
which deposited me within the hearse, which bore me to the grave, which lowered me within it, which
heaped heavily the mould upon me, and which thus left me, in blackness and corruption, to my sad and
solemn slumbers with the worm.
And here, in the prison-house which has few secrets to disclose, there rolled away days and weeks and
months; and the soul watched narrowly each second as it flew, and, without effort, took record of its flight
- without effort and without object.
A year passed. The consciousness of being had grown hourly more indistinct, and that of mere locality
had, in great measure, usurped its position. The idea of entity was becoming merged in that of place. The
narrow space immediately surrounding what had been the body, was now growing to be the body itself. At
length, as often happens to the sleeper (by sleep and its world alone is Death imaged) - at length, as
sometimes happened on Earth to the deep slumberer, when some flitting light half startled him into
awaking, yet left him half enveloped in dreams - so to me, in the strict embrace of the Shadow came that
light which alone might have had power to startle - the light of enduring Love. Men toiled at the grave in
which I lay darkling. They upthrew the damp earth. Upon my mouldering bones there descended the
coffin of Una.
And now again all was void. That nebulous light had been extinguished. That feeble thrill had vibrated
itself into quiescence. Many lustra had supervened. Dust had returned to dust. The worm had food no
more. The sense of being had at length utterly departed, and there reigned in its stead - instead of all
things - dominant and perpetual - the autocrats Place and Time. For that which was not - for that which
had no form - for that which had no thought - for that which had no sentience - for that which was
soulless, yet of which matter formed no portion - for all this nothingness, yet for all this immortality, the
grave was still a home, and the corrosive hours, co-mates.
THE CONVERSATION OF EIROS AND CHARMION
Euripides - Androm:
CHARMION. So henceforward will you always be called. You must forget too, my earthly name, and speak
to me as Charmion.
CHARMION. Dreams are with us no more; - but of these mysteries anon. I rejoice to see you looking life-
like and rational. The film of the shadow has already passed from off your eyes. Be of heart and fear
nothing. Your allotted days of stupor have expired and, to-morrow, I will myself induct you into the full
joys and wonders of your novel existence.
EIROS. True - I feel no stupor - none at all. The wild sickness and the terrible darkness have left me, and I
hear no longer that mad, rushing, horrible sound, like the "voice of many waters." Yet my senses are
bewildered, Charmion, with the keenness of their perception of the new.
CHARMION. A few days will remove all this; - but I fully understand you, and feel for you. It is now ten
earthly years since I underwent what you undergo - yet the remembrance of it hangs by me still. You have
now suffered all of pain, however, which you will suffer in Aidenn.
EIROS. In Aidenn?
CHARMION. In Aidenn.
EIROS. Oh God! - pity me, Charmion! - I am overburthened with the majesty of all things - of the unknown
now known - of the speculative Future merged in the august and certain Present.
CHARMION. Grapple not now with such thoughts. To-morrow we will speak of this. Your mind wavers,
and its agitation will find relief in the exercise of simple memories. Look not around, nor forward - but
back. I am burning with anxiety to hear the details of that stupendous event which threw you among us.
Tell me of it. Let us converse of familiar things, in the old familiar language of the world which has so
fearfully perished.
EIROS. Mourned, Charmion? - oh deeply. To that last hour of all, there hung a cloud of intense gloom and
devout sorrow over your household.
CHARMION. And that last hour - speak of it. Remember that, beyond the naked fact of the catastrophe
itself, I know nothing. When, coming out from among mankind, I passed into Night through the Grave - at
that period, if I remember aright, the calamity which overwhelmed you was utterly unanticipated. But,
indeed, I knew little of the speculative philosophy of the day.
EIROS. The individual calamity was as you say entirely unanticipated; but analogous misfortunes had
been long a subject of discussion with astronomers. I need scarce tell you, my friend, that, even when you
left us, men had agreed to understand those passages in the most holy writings which speak of the final
destruction of all things by fire, as having reference to the orb of the earth alone. But in regard to the
immediate agency of the ruin, speculation had been at fault from that epoch in astronomical knowledge in
which the comets were divested of the terrors of flame. The very moderate density of these bodies had
been well established. They had been observed to pass among the satellites of Jupiter, without bringing
about any sensible alteration either in the masses or in the orbits of these secondary planets. We had long
regarded the wanderers as vapory creations of inconceivable tenuity, and as altogether incapable of doing
injury to our substantial globe, even in the event of contact. But contact was not in any degree dreaded;
for the elements of all the comets were accurately known. That among them we should look for the
agency of the threatened fiery destruction had been for many years considered an inadmissible idea. But
wonders and wild fancies had been, of late days, strangely rife among mankind; and, although it was only
with a few of the ignorant that actual apprehension prevailed, upon the announcement by astronomers of
a new comet, yet this announcement was generally received with I know not what of agitation and
mistrust.
The elements of the strange orb were immediately calculated, and it was at once conceded by all
observers, that its path, at perihelion, would bring it into very close proximity with the earth. There were
two or three astronomers, of secondary note, who resolutely maintained that a contact was inevitable. I
cannot very well express to you the effect of this intelligence upon the people. For a few short days they
would not believe an assertion which their intellect so long employed among worldly considerations could
not in any manner grasp. But the truth of a vitally important fact soon makes its way into the
understanding of even the most stolid. Finally, all men saw that astronomical knowledge lied not, and they
awaited the comet. Its approach was not, at first, seemingly rapid; nor was its appearance of very unusual
character. It was of a dull red, and had little perceptible train. For seven or eight days we saw no material
increase in its apparent diameter, and but a partial alteration in its color. Meantime, the ordinary affairs
of men were discarded and all interests absorbed in a growing discussion, instituted by the philosophic, in
respect to the cometary nature. Even the grossly ignorant aroused their sluggish capacities to such
considerations. The learned now gave their intellect - their soul - to no such points as the allaying of fear,
or to the sustenance of loved theory. They sought -- they panted for right views. They groaned for
perfected knowledge. Truth arose in the purity of her strength and exceeding majesty, and the wise
bowed down and adored.
That material injury to our globe or to its inhabitants would result from the apprehended contact, was an
opinion which hourly lost ground among the wise; and the wise were now freely permitted to rule the
reason and the fancy of the crowd. It was demonstrated, that the density of the comet's nucleus was far
less than that of our rarest gas; and the harmless passage of a similar visitor among the satellites of
Jupiter was a point strongly insisted upon, and which served greatly to allay terror. Theologists with an
earnestness fear-enkindled, dwelt upon the biblical prophecies, and expounded them to the people with a
directness and simplicity of which no previous instance had been known. That the final destruction of the
earth must be brought about by the agency of fire, was urged with a spirit that enforced every where
conviction; and that the comets were of no fiery nature (as all men now knew) was a truth which relieved
all, in a great measure, from the apprehension of the great calamity foretold. It is noticeable that the
popular prejudices and vulgar errors in regard to pestilences and wars - errors which were wont to
prevail upon every appearance of a comet - were now altogether unknown. As if by some sudden
convulsive exertion, reason had at once hurled superstition from her throne. The feeblest intellect had
derived vigor from excessive interest.
What minor evils might arise from the contact were points of elaborate question. The learned spoke of
slight geological disturbances, of probable alterations in climate, and consequently in vegetation, of
possible magnetic and electric influences. Many held that no visible or perceptible effect would in any
manner be produced. While such discussions were going on, their subject gradually approached, growing
larger in apparent diameter, and of a more brilliant lustre. Mankind grew paler as it came. All human
operations were suspended.
There was an epoch in the course of the general sentiment when the comet had attained, at length, a size
surpassing that of any previously recorded visitation. The people now, dismissing any lingering hope that
the astronomers were wrong, experienced all the certainty of evil. The chimerical aspect of their terror
was gone. The hearts of the stoutest of our race beat violently within their bosoms. A very few days
sufficed, however, to merge even such feelings in sentiments more unendurable We could no longer apply
to the strange orb any accustomedthoughts. Its historical attributes had disappeared. It oppressed us
with a hideous novelty of emotion. We saw it not as an astronomical phenomenon in the heavens, but as
an incubus upon our hearts, and a shadow upon our brains. It had taken, with inconceivable rapidity, the
character of a gigantic mantle of rare flame, extending from horizon to horizon.
Yet a day, and men breathed with greater freedom. It was clear that we were already within the influence
of the comet; yet we lived. We even felt an unusual elasticity of frame and vivacity of mind. The exceeding
tenuity of the object of our dread was apparent; for all heavenly objects were plainly visible through it.
Meantime, our vegetation had perceptibly altered; and we gained faith, from this predicted circumstance,
in the foresight of the wise. A wild luxuriance of foliage, utterly unknown before, burst out upon every
vegetable thing.
Yet another day - and the evil was not altogether upon us. It was now evident that its nucleus would first
reach us. A wild change had come over all men; and the first sense of pain was the wild signal for general
lamentation and horror. This first sense of pain lay in a rigorous constriction of the breast and lungs, and
an insufferable dryness of the skin. It could not be denied that our atmosphere was radically affected; the
conformation of this atmosphere and the possible modifications to which it might be subjected, were now
the topics of discussion. The result of investigation sent an electric thrill of the intensest terror through
the universal heart of man.
It had been long known that the air which encircled us was a compound of oxygen and nitrogen gases, in
the proportion of twenty- one measures of oxygen, and seventy-nine of nitrogen in every one hundred of
the atmosphere. Oxygen, which was the principle of combustion, and the vehicle of heat, was absolutely
necessary to the support of animal life, and was the most powerful and energetic agent in nature.
Nitrogen, on the contrary, was incapable of supporting either animal life or flame. An unnatural excess of
oxygen would result, it had been ascertained in just such an elevation of the animal spirits as we had
latterly experienced. It was the pursuit, the extension of the idea, which had engendered awe. What
would be the result of a total extraction of the nitrogen? A combustion irresistible, all-devouring, omni-
prevalent, immediate; - the entire fulfilment, in all their minute and terrible details, of the fiery and
horror-inspiring denunciations of the prophecies of the Holy Book.
Why need I paint, Charmion, the now disenchained frenzy of mankind? That tenuity in the comet which
had previously inspired us with hope, was now the source of the bitterness of despair. In its impalpable
gaseous character we clearly perceived the consummation of Fate. Meantime a day again passed -
bearing away with it the last shadow of Hope. We gasped in the rapid modification of the air. The red
blood bounded tumultuously through its strict channels. A furious delirium possessed all men; and, with
arms rigidly outstretched towards the threatening heavens, they trembled and shrieked aloud. But the
nucleus of the destroyer was now upon us; - even here in Aidenn, I shudder while I speak. Let me be brief
- brief as the ruin that overwhelmed. For a moment there was a wild lurid light alone, visiting and
penetrating all things. Then - let us bow down Charmion, before the excessive majesty of the great God! -
then, there came a shouting and pervading sound, as if from the mouth itself of HIM; while the whole
incumbent mass of ether in which we existed, burst at once into a species of intense flame, for whose
surpassing brilliancy and all-fervid heat even the angels in the high Heaven of pure knowledge have no
name. Thus ended all.
The ways of God in Nature, as in Providence, are not as our ways; nor are the models that we frame any
way commensurate to the vastness, profundity, and unsearchableness of His works, which have a depth in
them greater than the well of Democritus. Joseph Glanville. . WE had now reached the summit of the
loftiest crag. For some minutes the old man seemed too much exhausted to speak.
"Not long ago," said he at length, "and I could have guided you on this route as well as the youngest of my
sons; but, about three years past, there happened to me an event such as never happened to mortal man -
or at least such as no man ever survived to tell of - and the six hours of deadly terror which I then
endured have broken me up body and soul. You suppose me a very old man - but I am not. It took less
than a single day to change these hairs from a jetty black to white, to weaken my limbs, and to unstring
my nerves, so that I tremble at the least exertion, and am frightened at a shadow. Do you know I can
scarcely look over this little cliff without getting giddy?"
The "little cliff," upon whose edge he had so carelessly thrown himself down to rest that the weightier
portion of his body hung over it, while he was only kept from falling by the tenure of his elbow on its
extreme and slippery edge - this "little cliff" arose, a sheer unobstructed precipice of black shining rock,
some fifteen or sixteen hundred feet from the world of crags beneath us. Nothing would have tempted me
to within half a dozen yards of its brink. In truth so deeply was I excited by the perilous position of my
companion, that I fell at full length upon the ground, clung to the shrubs around me, and dared not even
glance upward at the sky - while I struggled in vain to divest myself of the idea that the very foundations
of the mountain were in danger from the fury of the winds. It was long before I could reason myself into
sufficient courage to sit up and look out into the distance.
"You must get over these fancies," said the guide, "for I have brought you here that you might have the
best possible view of the scene of that event I mentioned - and to tell you the whole story with the spot
just under your eye."
"We are now," he continued, in that particularizing manner which distinguished him - "we are now close
upon the Norwegian coast - in the sixty-eighth degree of latitude - in the great province of Nordland - and
in the dreary district of Lofoden. The mountain upon whose top we sit is Helseggen, the Cloudy. Now
raise yourself up a little higher - hold on to the grass if you feel giddy - so - and look out, beyond the belt
of vapor beneath us, into the sea."
I looked dizzily, and beheld a wide expanse of ocean, whose waters wore so inky a hue as to bring at once
to my mind the Nubian geographer's account of the Mare Tenebrarum. A panorama more deplorably
desolate no human imagination can conceive. To the right and left, as far as the eye could reach, there lay
outstretched, like ramparts of the world, lines of horridly black and beetling cliff, whose character of
gloom was but the more forcibly illustrated by the surf which reared high up against its white and ghastly
crest, howling and shrieking forever. Just opposite the promontory upon whose apex we were placed, and
at a distance of some five or six miles out at sea, there was visible a small, bleak-looking island; or, more
properly, its position was discernible through the wilderness of surge in which it was enveloped. About
two miles nearer the land, arose another of smaller size, hideously craggy and barren, and encompassed
at various intervals by a cluster of dark rocks.
The appearance of the ocean, in the space between the more distant island and the shore, had something
very unusual about it. Although, at the time, so strong a gale was blowing landward that a brig in the
remote offing lay to under a double-reefed trysail, and constantly plunged her whole hull out of sight, still
there was here nothing like a regular swell, but only a short, quick, angry cross dashing of water in every
direction - as well in the teeth of the wind as otherwise. Of foam there was little except in the immediate
vicinity of the rocks.
"The island in the distance," resumed the old man, "is called by the Norwegians Vurrgh. The one midway
is Moskoe. That a mile to the northward is Ambaaren. Yonder are Islesen, Hotholm, Keildhelm, Suarven,
and Buckholm. Farther off - between Moskoe and Vurrgh - are Otterholm, Flimen, Sandflesen, and
Stockholm. These are the true names of the places - but why it has been thought necessary to name them
at all, is more than either you or I can understand. Do you hear anything? Do you see any change in the
water?"
We had now been about ten minutes upon the top of Helseggen, to which we had ascended from the
interior of Lofoden, so that we had caught no glimpse of the sea until it had burst upon us from the
summit. As the old man spoke, I became aware of a loud and gradually increasing sound, like the moaning
of a vast herd of buffaloes upon an American prairie; and at the same moment I perceived that what
seamen term the chopping character of the ocean beneath us, was rapidly changing into a current which
set to the eastward. Even while I gazed, this current acquired a monstrous velocity. Each moment added
to its speed - to its headlong impetuosity. In five minutes the whole sea, as far as Vurrgh, was lashed into
ungovernable fury; but it was between Moskoe and the coast that the main uproar held its sway. Here the
vast bed of the waters, seamed and scarred into a thousand conflicting channels, burst suddenly into
phrensied convulsion - heaving, boiling, hissing - gyrating in gigantic and innumerable vortices, and all
whirling and plunging on to the eastward with a rapidity which water never elsewhere assumes except in
precipitous descents.
In a few minutes more, there came over the scene another radical alteration. The general surface grew
somewhat more smooth, and the whirlpools, one by one, disappeared, while prodigious streaks of foam
became apparent where none had been seen before. These streaks, at length, spreading out to a great
distance, and entering into combination, took unto themselves the gyratory motion of the subsided
vortices, and seemed to form the germ of another more vast. Suddenly - very suddenly - this assumed a
distinct and definite existence, in a circle of more than a mile in diameter. The edge of the whirl was
represented by a broad belt of gleaming spray; but no particle of this slipped into the mouth of the terrific
funnel, whose interior, as far as the eye could fathom it, was a smooth, shining, and jet-black wall of
water, inclined to the horizon at an angle of some forty-five degrees, speeding dizzily round and round
with a swaying and sweltering motion, and sending forth to the winds an appalling voice, half shriek, half
roar, such as not even the mighty cataract of Niagara ever lifts up in its agony to Heaven.
The mountain trembled to its very base, and the rock rocked. I threw myself upon my face, and clung to
the scant herbage in an excess of nervous agitation.
"This," said I at length, to the old man - "this can be nothing else than the great whirlpool of the
Maelström."
"So it is sometimes termed," said he. "We Norwegians call it the Moskoe-ström, from the island of Moskoe
in the midway."
The ordinary accounts of this vortex had by no means prepared me for what I saw. That of Jonas Ramus,
which is perhaps the most circumstantial of any, cannot impart the faintest conception either of the
magnificence, or of the horror of the scene - or of the wild bewildering sense of the novel which
confounds the beholder. I am not sure from what point of view the writer in question surveyed it, nor at
what time; but it could neither have been from the summit of Helseggen, nor during a storm. There are
some passages of his description, nevertheless, which may be quoted for their details, although their
effect is exceedingly feeble in conveying an impression of the spectacle.
"Between Lofoden and Moskoe," he says, "the depth of the water is between thirty-six and forty fathoms;
but on the other side, toward Ver (Vurrgh) this depth decreases so as not to afford a convenient passage
for a vessel, without the risk of splitting on the rocks, which happens even in the calmest weather. When
it is flood, the stream runs up the country between Lofoden and Moskoe with a boisterous rapidity; but
the roar of its impetuous ebb to the sea is scarce equalled by the loudest and most dreadful cataracts; the
noise being heard several leagues off, and the vortices or pits are of such an extent and depth, that if a
ship comes within its attraction, it is inevitably absorbed and carried down to the bottom, and there beat
to pieces against the rocks; and when the water relaxes, the fragments thereof are thrown up again. But
these intervals of tranquility are only at the turn of the ebb and flood, and in calm weather, and last but a
quarter of an hour, its violence gradually returning. When the stream is most boisterous, and its fury
heightened by a storm, it is dangerous to come within a Norway mile of it. Boats, yachts, and ships have
been carried away by not guarding against it before they were within its reach. It likewise happens
frequently, that whales come too near the stream, and are overpowered by its violence; and then it is
impossible to describe their howlings and bellowings in their fruitless struggles to disengage themselves.
A bear once, attempting to swim from Lofoden to Moskoe, was caught by the stream and borne down,
while he roared terribly, so as to be heard on shore. Large stocks of firs and pine trees, after being
absorbed by the current, rise again broken and torn to such a degree as if bristles grew upon them. This
plainly shows the bottom to consist of craggy rocks, among which they are whirled to and fro. This stream
is regulated by the flux and reflux of the sea - it being constantly high and low water every six hours. In
the year 1645, early in the morning of Sexagesima Sunday, it raged with such noise and impetuosity that
the very stones of the houses on the coast fell to the ground."
In regard to the depth of the water, I could not see how this could have been ascertained at all in the
immediate vicinity of the vortex. The "forty fathoms" must have reference only to portions of the channel
close upon the shore either of Moskoe or Lofoden. The depth in the centre of the Moskoe-ström must be
immeasurably greater; and no better proof of this fact is necessary than can be obtained from even the
sidelong glance into the abyss of the whirl which may be had from the highest crag of Helseggen. Looking
down from this pinnacle upon the howling Phlegethon below, I could not help smiling at the simplicity
with which the honest Jonas Ramus records, as a matter difficult of belief, the anecdotes of the whales
and the bears; for it appeared to me, in fact, a self-evident thing, that the largest ship of the line in
existence, coming within the influence of that deadly attraction, could resist it as little as a feather the
hurricane, and must disappear bodily and at once.
The attempts to account for the phenomenon - some of which, I remember, seemed to me sufficiently
plausible in perusal - now wore a very different and unsatisfactory aspect. The idea generally received is
that this, as well as three smaller vortices among the Ferroe islands, "have no other cause than the
collision of waves rising and falling, at flux and reflux, against a ridge of rocks and shelves, which
confines the water so that it precipitates itself like a cataract; and thus the higher the flood rises, the
deeper must the fall be, and the natural result of all is a whirlpool or vortex, the prodigious suction of
which is sufficiently known by lesser experiments." - These are the words of the Encyclopaedia
Britannica. Kircher and others imagine that in the centre of the channel of the Maelström is an abyss
penetrating the globe, and issuing in some very remote part - the Gulf of Bothnia being somewhat
decidedly named in one instance. This opinion, idle in itself, was the one to which, as I gazed, my
imagination most readily assented; and, mentioning it to the guide, I was rather surprised to hear him say
that, although it was the view almost universally entertained of the subject by the Norwegians, it
nevertheless was not his own. As to the former notion he confessed his inability to comprehend it; and
here I agreed with him - for, however conclusive on paper, it becomes altogether unintelligible, and even
absurd, amid the thunder of the abyss.
"You have had a good look at the whirl now," said the old man, "and if you will creep round this crag, so as
to get in its lee, and deaden the roar of the water, I will tell you a story that will convince you I ought to
know something of the Moskoe-ström."
"Myself and my two brothers once owned a schooner-rigged smack of about seventy tons burthen, with
which we were in the habit of fishing among the islands beyond Moskoe, nearly to Vurrgh. In all violent
eddies at sea there is good fishing, at proper opportunities, if one has only the courage to attempt it; but
among the whole of the Lofoden coastmen, we three were the only ones who made a regular business of
going out to the islands, as I tell you. The usual grounds are a great way lower down to the southward.
There fish can be got at all hours, without much risk, and therefore these places are preferred. The
choice spots over here among the rocks, however, not only yield the finest variety, but in far greater
abundance; so that we often got in a single day, what the more timid of the craft could not scrape
together in a week. In fact, we made it a matter of desperate speculation - the risk of life standing instead
of labor, and courage answering for capital.
"We kept the smack in a cove about five miles higher up the coast than this; and it was our practice, in
fine weather, to take advantage of the fifteen minutes' slack to push across the main channel of the
Moskoe-ström, far above the pool, and then drop down upon anchorage somewhere near Otterholm, or
Sandflesen, where the eddies are not so violent as elsewhere. Here we used to remain until nearly time
for slack-water again, when we weighed and made for home. We never set out upon this expedition
without a steady side wind for going and coming - one that we felt sure would not fail us before our return
- and we seldom made a mis-calculation upon this point. Twice, during six years, we were forced to stay
all night at anchor on account of a dead calm, which is a rare thing indeed just about here; and once we
had to remain on the grounds nearly a week, starving to death, owing to a gale which blew up shortly
after our arrival, and made the channel too boisterous to be thought of. Upon this occasion we should
have been driven out to sea in spite of everything, (for the whirlpools threw us round and round so
violently, that, at length, we fouled our anchor and dragged it) if it had not been that we drifted into one
of the innumerable cross currents - here to-day and gone to-morrow - which drove us under the lee of
Flimen, where, by good luck, we brought up.
"I could not tell you the twentieth part of the difficulties we encountered 'on the grounds' - it is a bad spot
to be in, even in good weather - but we made shift always to run the gauntlet of the Moskoe-ström itself
without accident; although at times my heart has been in my mouth when we happened to be a minute or
so behind or before the slack. The wind sometimes was not as strong as we thought it at starting, and
then we made rather less way than we could wish, while the current rendered the smack unmanageable.
My eldest brother had a son eighteen years old, and I had two stout boys of my own. These would have
been of great assistance at such times, in using the sweeps, as well as afterward in fishing - but,
somehow, although we ran the risk ourselves, we had not the heart to let the young ones get into the
danger - for, after all is said and done, it was a horrible danger, and that is the truth.
"It is now within a few days of three years since what I am going to tell you occurred. It was on the tenth
day of July, 18-, a day which the people of this part of the world will never forget - for it was one in which
blew the most terrible hurricane that ever came out of the heavens. And yet all the morning, and indeed
until late in the afternoon, there was a gentle and steady breeze from the south-west, while the sun shone
brightly, so that the oldest seaman among us could not have foreseen what was to follow.
"The three of us - my two brothers and myself - had crossed over to the islands about two o'clock P. M.,
and had soon nearly loaded the smack with fine fish, which, we all remarked, were more plenty that day
than we had ever known them. It was just seven, by my watch, when we weighed and started for home, so
as to make the worst of the Ström at slack water, which we knew would be at eight.
"We set out with a fresh wind on our starboard quarter, and for some time spanked along at a great rate,
never dreaming of danger, for indeed we saw not the slightest reason to apprehend it. All at once we were
taken aback by a breeze from over Helseggen. This was most unusual - something that had never
happened to us before - and I began to feel a little uneasy, without exactly knowing why. We put the boat
on the wind, but could make no headway at all for the eddies, and I was upon the point of proposing to
return to the anchorage, when, looking astern, we saw the whole horizon covered with a singular copper-
colored cloud that rose with the most amazing velocity.
"In the meantime the breeze that had headed us off fell away, and we were dead becalmed, drifting about
in every direction. This state of things, however, did not last long enough to give us time to think about it.
In less than a minute the storm was upon us - in less than two the sky was entirely overcast - and what
with this and the driving spray, it became suddenly so dark that we could not see each other in the smack.
"Such a hurricane as then blew it is folly to attempt describing. The oldest seaman in Norway never
experienced any thing like it. We had let our sails go by the run before it cleverly took us; but, at the first
puff, both our masts went by the board as if they had been sawed off - the mainmast taking with it my
youngest brother, who had lashed himself to it for safety.
"Our boat was the lightest feather of a thing that ever sat upon water. It had a complete flush deck, with
only a small hatch near the bow, and this hatch it had always been our custom to batten down when about
to cross the Ström, by way of precaution against the chopping seas. But for this circumstance we should
have foundered at once - for we lay entirely buried for some moments. How my elder brother escaped
destruction I cannot say, for I never had an opportunity of ascertaining. For my part, as soon as I had let
the foresail run, I threw myself flat on deck, with my feet against the narrow gunwale of the bow, and
with my hands grasping a ring-bolt near the foot of the fore-mast. It was mere instinct that prompted me
to do this - which was undoubtedly the very best thing I could have done - for I was too much flurried to
think.
"For some moments we were completely deluged, as I say, and all this time I held my breath, and clung to
the bolt. When I could stand it no longer I raised myself upon my knees, still keeping hold with my hands,
and thus got my head clear. Presently our little boat gave herself a shake, just as a dog does in coming out
of the water, and thus rid herself, in some measure, of the seas. I was now trying to get the better of the
stupor that had come over me, and to collect my senses so as to see what was to be done, when I felt
somebody grasp my arm. It was my elder brother, and my heart leaped for joy, for I had made sure that he
was overboard - but the next moment all this joy was turned into horror - for he put his mouth close to my
ear, and screamed out the word 'Moskoe-ström!'
"No one ever will know what my feelings were at that moment. I shook from head to foot as if I had had
the most violent fit of the ague. I knew what he meant by that one word well enough - I knew what he
wished to make me understand. With the wind that now drove us on, we were bound for the whirl of the
Ström, and nothing could save us!
"You perceive that in crossing the Ström channel, we always went a long way up above the whirl, even in
the calmest weather, and then had to wait and watch carefully for the slack - but now we were driving
right upon the pool itself, and in such a hurricane as this! 'To be sure,' I thought, 'we shall get there just
about the slack - there is some little hope in that' - but in the next moment I cursed myself for being so
great a fool as to dream of hope at all. I knew very well that we were doomed, had we been ten times a
ninety-gun ship.
"By this time the first fury of the tempest had spent itself, or perhaps we did not feel it so much, as we
scudded before it, but at all events the seas, which at first had been kept down by the wind, and lay flat
and frothing, now got up into absolute mountains. A singular change, too, had come over the heavens.
Around in every direction it was still as black as pitch, but nearly overhead there burst out, all at once, a
circular rift of clear sky - as clear as I ever saw - and of a deep bright blue - and through it there blazed
forth the full moon with a lustre that I never before knew her to wear. She lit up every thing about us with
the greatest distinctness - but, oh God, what a scene it was to light up!
"I now made one or two attempts to speak to my brother - but, in some manner which I could not
understand, the din had so increased that I could not make him hear a single word, although I screamed
at the top of my voice in his ear. Presently he shook his head, looking as pale as death, and held up one of
his finger, as if to say 'listen! '
"At first I could not make out what he meant - but soon a hideous thought flashed upon me. I dragged my
watch from its fob. It was not going. I glanced at its face by the moonlight, and then burst into tears as I
flung it far away into the ocean. It had run down at seven o'clock! We were behind the time of the slack,
and the whirl of the Ström was in full fury!
"When a boat is well built, properly trimmed, and not deep laden, the waves in a strong gale, when she is
going large, seem always to slip from beneath her - which appears very strange to a landsman - and this
is what is called riding, in sea phrase. Well, so far we had ridden the swells very cleverly; but presently a
gigantic sea happened to take us right under the counter, and bore us with it as it rose - up - up - as if into
the sky. I would not have believed that any wave could rise so high. And then down we came with a
sweep, a slide, and a plunge, that made me feel sick and dizzy, as if I was falling from some lofty
mountain-top in a dream. But while we were up I had thrown a quick glance around - and that one glance
was all sufficient. I saw our exact position in an instant. The Moskoe-Ström whirlpool was about a quarter
of a mile dead ahead - but no more like the every-day Moskoe-Ström, than the whirl as you now see it is
like a mill-race. If I had not known where we were, and what we had to expect, I should not have
recognised the place at all. As it was, I involuntarily closed my eyes in horror. The lids clenched
themselves together as if in a spasm.
"It could not have been more than two minutes afterward until we suddenly felt the waves subside, and
were enveloped in foam. The boat made a sharp half turn to larboard, and then shot off in its new
direction like a thunderbolt. At the same moment the roaring noise of the water was completely drowned
in a kind of shrill shriek - such a sound as you might imagine given out by the waste-pipes of many
thousand steam-vessels, letting off their steam all together. We were now in the belt of surf that always
surrounds the whirl; and I thought, of course, that another moment would plunge us into the abyss - down
which we could only see indistinctly on account of the amazing velocity with which we wore borne along.
The boat did not seem to sink into the water at all, but to skim like an air-bubble upon the surface of the
surge. Her starboard side was next the whirl, and on the larboard arose the world of ocean we had left. It
stood like a huge writhing wall between us and the horizon.
"It may appear strange, but now, when we were in the very jaws of the gulf, I felt more composed than
when we were only approaching it. Having made up my mind to hope no more, I got rid of a great deal of
that terror which unmanned me at first. I suppose it was despair that strung my nerves.
"It may look like boasting - but what I tell you is truth - I began to reflect how magnificent a thing it was
to die in such a manner, and how foolish it was in me to think of so paltry a consideration as my own
individual life, in view of so wonderful a manifestation of God's power. I do believe that I blushed with
shame when this idea crossed my mind. After a little while I became possessed with the keenest curiosity
about the whirl itself. I positively felt a wish to explore its depths, even at the sacrifice I was going to
make; and my principal grief was that I should never be able to tell my old companions on shore about the
mysteries I should see. These, no doubt, were singular fancies to occupy a man's mind in such extremity -
and I have often thought since, that the revolutions of the boat around the pool might have rendered me a
little light-headed.
"There was another circumstance which tended to restore my self-possession; and this was the cessation
of the wind, which could not reach us in our present situation - for, as you saw yourself, the belt of surf is
considerably lower than the general bed of the ocean, and this latter now towered above us, a high, black,
mountainous ridge. If you have never been at sea in a heavy gale, you can form no idea of the confusion of
mind occasioned by the wind and spray together. They blind, deafen, and strangle you, and take away all
power of action or reflection. But we were now, in a great measure, rid of these annoyances - just us
death-condemned felons in prison are allowed petty indulgences, forbidden them while their doom is yet
uncertain.
"How often we made the circuit of the belt it is impossible to say. We careered round and round for
perhaps an hour, flying rather than floating, getting gradually more and more into the middle of the
surge, and then nearer and nearer to its horrible inner edge. All this time I had never let go of the ring-
bolt. My brother was at the stern, holding on to a small empty water-cask which had been securely lashed
under the coop of the counter, and was the only thing on deck that had not been swept overboard when
the gale first took us. As we approached the brink of the pit he let go his hold upon this, and made for the
ring, from which, in the agony of his terror, he endeavored to force my hands, as it was not large enough
to afford us both a secure grasp. I never felt deeper grief than when I saw him attempt this act - although
I knew he was a madman when he did it - a raving maniac through sheer fright. I did not care, however, to
contest the point with him. I knew it could make no difference whether either of us held on at all; so I let
him have the bolt, and went astern to the cask. This there was no great difficulty in doing; for the smack
flew round steadily enough, and upon an even keel - only swaying to and fro, with the immense sweeps
and swelters of the whirl. Scarcely had I secured myself in my new position, when we gave a wild lurch to
starboard, and rushed headlong into the abyss. I muttered a hurried prayer to God, and thought all was
over.
"As I felt the sickening sweep of the descent, I had instinctively tightened my hold upon the barrel, and
closed my eyes. For some seconds I dared not open them - while I expected instant destruction, and
wondered that I was not already in my death-struggles with the water. But moment after moment elapsed.
I still lived. The sense of falling had ceased; and the motion of the vessel seemed much as it had been
before, while in the belt of foam, with the exception that she now lay more along. I took courage, and
looked once again upon the scene.
"Never shall I forget the sensations of awe, horror, and admiration with which I gazed about me. The boat
appeared to be hanging, as if by magic, midway down, upon the interior surface of a funnel vast in
circumference, prodigious in depth, and whose perfectly smooth sides might have been mistaken for
ebony, but for the bewildering rapidity with which they spun around, and for the gleaming and ghastly
radiance they shot forth, as the rays of the full moon, from that circular rift amid the clouds which I have
already described, streamed in a flood of golden glory along the black walls, and far away down into the
inmost recesses of the abyss.
"At first I was too much confused to observe anything accurately. The general burst of terrific grandeur
was all that I beheld. When I recovered myself a little, however, my gaze fell instinctively downward. In
this direction I was able to obtain an unobstructed view, from the manner in which the smack hung on the
inclined surface of the pool. She was quite upon an even keel - that is to say, her deck lay in a plane
parallel with that of the water - but this latter sloped at an angle of more than forty-five degrees, so that
we seemed to be lying upon our beam-ends. I could not help observing, nevertheless, that I had scarcely
more difficulty in maintaining my hold and footing in this situation, than if we had been upon a dead level;
and this, I suppose, was owing to the speed at which we revolved.
"The rays of the moon seemed to search the very bottom of the profound gulf; but still I could make out
nothing distinctly, on account of a thick mist in which everything there was enveloped, and over which
there hung a magnificent rainbow, like that narrow and tottering bridge which Mussulmen say is the only
pathway between Time and Eternity. This mist, or spray, was no doubt occasioned by the clashing of the
great walls of the funnel, as they all met together at the bottom - but the yell that went up to the Heavens
from out of that mist, I dare not attempt to describe.
"Our first slide into the abyss itself, from the belt of foam above, had carried us a great distance down the
slope; but our farther descent was by no means proportionate. Round and round we swept - not with any
uniform movement - but in dizzying swings and jerks, that sent us sometimes only a few hundred yards -
sometimes nearly the complete circuit of the whirl. Our progress downward, at each revolution, was slow,
but very perceptible.
"Looking about me upon the wide waste of liquid ebony on which we were thus borne, I perceived that
our boat was not the only object in the embrace of the whirl. Both above and below us were visible
fragments of vessels, large masses of building timber and trunks of trees, with many smaller articles,
such as pieces of house furniture, broken boxes, barrels and staves. I have already described the
unnatural curiosity which had taken the place of my original terrors. It appeared to grow upon me as I
drew nearer and nearer to my dreadful doom. I now began to watch, with a strange interest, the
numerous things that floated in our company. I must have been delirious - for I even sought amusement in
speculating upon the relative velocities of their several descents toward the foam below. 'This fir tree,' I
found myself at one time saying, 'will certainly be the next thing that takes the awful plunge and
disappears,' - and then I was disappointed to find that the wreck of a Dutch merchant ship overtook it and
went down before. At length, after making several guesses of this nature, and being deceived in all - this
fact - the fact of my invariable miscalculation - set me upon a train of reflection that made my limbs again
tremble, and my heart beat heavily once more.
"It was not a new terror that thus affected me, but the dawn of a more exciting hope. This hope arose
partly from memory, and partly from present observation. I called to mind the great variety of buoyant
matter that strewed the coast of Lofoden, having been absorbed and then thrown forth by the Moskoe-
ström. By far the greater number of the articles were shattered in the most extraordinary way - so chafed
and roughened as to have the appearance of being stuck full of splinters - but then I distinctly recollected
that there were some of them which were not disfigured at all. Now I could not account for this difference
except by supposing that the roughened fragments were the only ones which had been completely
absorbed - that the others had entered the whirl at so late a period of the tide, or, for some reason, had
descended so slowly after entering, that they did not reach the bottom before the turn of the flood came,
or of the ebb, as the case might be. I conceived it possible, in either instance, that they might thus be
whirled up again to the level of the ocean, without undergoing the fate of those which had been drawn in
more early, or absorbed more rapidly. I made, also, three important observations. The first was, that, as a
general rule, the larger the bodies were, the more rapid their descent - the second, that, between two
masses of equal extent, the one spherical, and the other of any other shape, the superiority in speed of
descent was with the sphere - the third, that, between two masses of equal size, the one cylindrical, and
the other of any other shape, the cylinder was absorbed the more slowly. Since my escape, I have had
several conversations on this subject with an old school-master of the district; and it was from him that I
learned the use of the words 'cylinder' and 'sphere.' He explained to me - although I have forgotten the
explanation - how what I observed was, in fact, the natural consequence of the forms of the floating
fragments - and showed me how it happened that a cylinder, swimming in a vortex, offered more
resistance to its suction, and was drawn in with greater difficulty than an equally bulky body, of any form
whatever.
"There was one startling circumstance which went a great way in enforcing these observations, and
rendering me anxious to turn them to account, and this was that, at every revolution, we passed
something like a barrel, or else the yard or the mast of a vessel, while many of these things, which had
been on our level when I first opened my eyes upon the wonders of the whirlpool, were now high up
above us, and seemed to have moved but little from their original station.
"I no longer hesitated what to do. I resolved to lash myself securely to the water cask upon which I now
held, to cut it loose from the counter, and to throw myself with it into the water. I attracted my brother's
attention by signs, pointed to the floating barrels that came near us, and did everything in my power to
make him understand what I was about to do. I thought at length that he comprehended my design - but,
whether this was the case or not, he shook his head despairingly, and refused to move from his station by
the ring-bolt. It was impossible to reach him; the emergency admitted of no delay; and so, with a bitter
struggle, I resigned him to his fate, fastened myself to the cask by means of the lashings which secured it
to the counter, and precipitated myself with it into the sea, without another moment's hesitation.
"The result was precisely what I had hoped it might be. As it is myself who now tell you this tale - as you
see that I did escape - and as you are already in possession of the mode in which this escape was effected,
and must therefore anticipate all that I have farther to say - I will bring my story quickly to conclusion. It
might have been an hour, or thereabout, after my quitting the smack, when, having descended to a vast
distance beneath me, it made three or four wild gyrations in rapid succession, and, bearing my loved
brother with it, plunged headlong, at once and forever, into the chaos of foam below. The barrel to which I
was attached sunk very little farther than half the distance between the bottom of the gulf and the spot at
which I leaped overboard, before a great change took place in the character of the whirlpool. The slope of
the sides of the vast funnel became momently less and less steep. The gyrations of the whirl grew,
gradually, less and less violent. By degrees, the froth and the rainbow disappeared, and the bottom of the
gulf seemed slowly to uprise. The sky was clear, the winds had gone down, and the full moon was setting
radiantly in the west, when I found myself on the surface of the ocean, in full view of the shores of
Lofoden, and above the spot where the pool of the Moskoe-ström had been. It was the hour of the slack -
but the sea still heaved in mountainous waves from the effects of the hurricane. I was borne violently into
the channel of the Ström, and in a few minutes was hurried down the coast into the 'grounds' of the
fishermen. A boat picked me up - exhausted from fatigue - and (now that the danger was removed)
speechless from the memory of its horror. Those who drew me on board were my old mates and daily
companions - but they knew me no more than they would have known a traveller from the spirit-land. My
hair which had been raven-black the day before, was as white as you see it now. They say too that the
whole expression of my countenance had changed. I told them my story - they did not believe it. I now tell
it to you - and I can scarcely expect you to put more faith in it than did the merry fishermen of Lofoden."
THE DEVIL IN THE B ELFRY
EVERYBODY knows, in a general way, that the finest place in the world is -- or, alas, was -- the Dutch
borough of Vondervotteimittiss. Yet as it lies some distance from any of the main roads, being in a
somewhat out-of-the-way situation, there are perhaps very few of my readers who have ever paid it a visit.
For the benefit of those who have not, therefore, it will be only proper that I should enter into some
account of it. And this is indeed the more necessary, as with the hope of enlisting public sympathy in
behalf of the inhabitants, I design here to give a history of the calamitous events which have so lately
occurred within its limits. No one who knows me will doubt that the duty thus self-imposed will be
executed to the best of my ability, with all that rigid impartiality, all that cautious examination into facts,
and diligent collation of authorities, which should ever distinguish him who aspires to the title of
historian.
By the united aid of medals, manuscripts, and inscriptions, I am enabled to say, positively, that the
borough of Vondervotteimittiss has existed, from its origin, in precisely the same condition which it at
present preserves. Of the date of this origin, however, I grieve that I can only speak with that species of
indefinite definiteness which mathematicians are, at times, forced to put up with in certain algebraic
formulae. The date, I may thus say, in regard to the remoteness of its antiquity, cannot be less than any
assignable quantity whatsoever.
Touching the derivation of the name Vondervotteimittiss, I confess myself, with sorrow, equally at fault.
Among a multitude of opinions upon this delicate point- some acute, some learned, some sufficiently the
reverse -- I am able to select nothing which ought to be considered satisfactory. Perhaps the idea of
Grogswigg- nearly coincident with that of Kroutaplenttey -- is to be cautiously preferred. -- It runs: --
"Vondervotteimittis -- Vonder, lege Donder -- Votteimittis, quasi und Bleitziz- Bleitziz obsol: -- pro Blitzen."
This derivative, to say the truth, is still countenanced by some traces of the electric fluid evident on the
summit of the steeple of the House of the Town-Council. I do not choose, however, to commit myself on a
theme of such importance, and must refer the reader desirous of information to the "Oratiunculae de
Rebus Praeter-Veteris," of Dundergutz. See, also, Blunderbuzzard "De Derivationibus," pp. 27 to 5010,
Folio, Gothic edit., Red and Black character, Catch-word and No Cypher; wherein consult, also, marginal
notes in the autograph of Stuffundpuff, with the Sub-Commentaries of Gruntundguzzell.
Notwithstanding the obscurity which thus envelops the date of the foundation of Vondervotteimittis, and
the derivation of its name, there can be no doubt, as I said before, that it has always existed as we find it
at this epoch. The oldest man in the borough can remember not the slightest difference in the appearance
of any portion of it; and, indeed, the very suggestion of such a possibility is considered an insult. The site
of the village is in a perfectly circular valley, about a quarter of a mile in circumference, and entirely
surrounded by gentle hills, over whose summit the people have never yet ventured to pass. For this they
assign the very good reason that they do not believe there is anything at all on the other side.
Round the skirts of the valley (which is quite level, and paved throughout with flat tiles), extends a
continuous row of sixty little houses. These, having their backs on the hills, must look, of course, to the
centre of the plain, which is just sixty yards from the front door of each dwelling. Every house has a small
garden before it, with a circular path, a sun-dial, and twenty-four cabbages. The buildings themselves are
so precisely alike, that one can in no manner be distinguished from the other. Owing to the vast antiquity,
the style of architecture is somewhat odd, but it is not for that reason the less strikingly picturesque.
They are fashioned of hard-burned little bricks, red, with black ends, so that the walls look like a chess-
board upon a great scale. The gables are turned to the front, and there are cornices, as big as all the rest
of the house, over the eaves and over the main doors. The windows are narrow and deep, with very tiny
panes and a great deal of sash. On the roof is a vast quantity of tiles with long curly ears. The woodwork,
throughout, is of a dark hue and there is much carving about it, with but a trifling variety of pattern for,
time out of mind, the carvers of Vondervotteimittiss have never been able to carve more than two objects -
- a time-piece and a cabbage. But these they do exceedingly well, and intersperse them, with singular
ingenuity, wherever they find room for the chisel.
The dwellings are as much alike inside as out, and the furniture is all upon one plan. The floors are of
square tiles, the chairs and tables of black-looking wood with thin crooked legs and puppy feet. The
mantelpieces are wide and high, and have not only time-pieces and cabbages sculptured over the front,
but a real time-piece, which makes a prodigious ticking, on the top in the middle, with a flower-pot
containing a cabbage standing on each extremity by way of outrider. Between each cabbage and the time-
piece, again, is a little China man having a large stomach with a great round hole in it, through which is
seen the dial-plate of a watch.
The fireplaces are large and deep, with fierce crooked-looking fire-dogs. There is constantly a rousing
fire, and a huge pot over it, full of sauer-kraut and pork, to which the good woman of the house is always
busy in attending. She is a little fat old lady, with blue eyes and a red face, and wears a huge cap like a
sugar-loaf, ornamented with purple and yellow ribbons. Her dress is of orange-colored linsey-woolsey,
made very full behind and very short in the waist -- and indeed very short in other respects, not reaching
below the middle of her leg. This is somewhat thick, and so are her ankles, but she has a fine pair of
green stockings to cover them. Her shoes -- of pink leather -- are fastened each with a bunch of yellow
ribbons puckered up in the shape of a cabbage. In her left hand she has a little heavy Dutch watch; in her
right she wields a ladle for the sauerkraut and pork. By her side there stands a fat tabby cat, with a gilt
toy-repeater tied to its tail, which "the boys" have there fastened by way of a quiz.
The boys themselves are, all three of them, in the garden attending the pig. They are each two feet in
height. They have three-cornered cocked hats, purple waistcoats reaching down to their thighs, buckskin
knee-breeches, red stockings, heavy shoes with big silver buckles, long surtout coats with large buttons of
mother-of-pearl. Each, too, has a pipe in his mouth, and a little dumpy watch in his right hand. He takes a
puff and a look, and then a look and a puff. The pig- which is corpulent and lazy -- is occupied now in
picking up the stray leaves that fall from the cabbages, and now in giving a kick behind at the gilt
repeater, which the urchins have also tied to his tail in order to make him look as handsome as the cat.
Right at the front door, in a high-backed leather-bottomed armed chair, with crooked legs and puppy feet
like the tables, is seated the old man of the house himself. He is an exceedingly puffy little old gentleman,
with big circular eyes and a huge double chin. His dress resembles that of the boys -- and I need say
nothing farther about it. All the difference is, that his pipe is somewhat bigger than theirs and he can
make a greater smoke. Like them, he has a watch, but he carries his watch in his pocket. To say the truth,
he has something of more importance than a watch to attend to -- and what that is, I shall presently
explain. He sits with his right leg upon his left knee, wears a grave countenance, and always keeps one of
his eyes, at least, resolutely bent upon a certain remarkable object in the centre of the plain.
This object is situated in the steeple of the House of the Town Council. The Town Council are all very
little, round, oily, intelligent men, with big saucer eyes and fat double chins, and have their coats much
longer and their shoe-buckles much bigger than the ordinary inhabitants of Vondervotteimittiss. Since my
sojourn in the borough, they have had several special meetings, and have adopted these three important
resolutions:
Above the session-room of the Council is the steeple, and in the steeple is the belfry, where exists, and has
existed time out of mind, the pride and wonder of the village -- the great clock of the borough of
Vondervotteimittiss. And this is the object to which the eyes of the old gentlemen are turned who sit in
the leather-bottomed arm-chairs.
The great clock has seven faces -- one in each of the seven sides of the steeple -- so that it can be readily
seen from all quarters. Its faces are large and white, and its hands heavy and black. There is a belfry-man
whose sole duty is to attend to it; but this duty is the most perfect of sinecures -- for the clock of
Vondervotteimittis was never yet known to have anything the matter with it. Until lately, the bare
supposition of such a thing was considered heretical. From the remotest period of antiquity to which the
archives have reference, the hours have been regularly struck by the big bell. And, indeed the case was
just the same with all the other clocks and watches in the borough. Never was such a place for keeping
the true time. When the large clapper thought proper to say "Twelve o'clock!" all its obedient followers
opened their throats simultaneously, and responded like a very echo. In short, the good burghers were
fond of their sauer-kraut, but then they were proud of their clocks.
All people who hold sinecure offices are held in more or less respect, and as the belfry -- man of
Vondervotteimittiss has the most perfect of sinecures, he is the most perfectly respected of any man in
the world. He is the chief dignitary of the borough, and the very pigs look up to him with a sentiment of
reverence. His coat-tail is very far longer -- his pipe, his shoe -- buckles, his eyes, and his stomach, very
far bigger -- than those of any other old gentleman in the village; and as to his chin, it is not only double,
but triple.
I have thus painted the happy estate of Vondervotteimittiss: alas, that so fair a picture should ever
experience a reverse!
There has been long a saying among the wisest inhabitants, that "no good can come from over the hills";
and it really seemed that the words had in them something of the spirit of prophecy. It wanted five
minutes of noon, on the day before yesterday, when there appeared a very odd-looking object on the
summit of the ridge of the eastward. Such an occurrence, of course, attracted universal attention, and
every little old gentleman who sat in a leather-bottomed arm-chair turned one of his eyes with a stare of
dismay upon the phenomenon, still keeping the other upon the clock in the steeple.
By the time that it wanted only three minutes to noon, the droll object in question was perceived to be a
very diminutive foreign-looking young man. He descended the hills at a great rate, so that every body had
soon a good look at him. He was really the most finicky little personage that had ever been seen in
Vondervotteimittiss. His countenance was of a dark snuff-color, and he had a long hooked nose, pea eyes,
a wide mouth, and an excellent set of teeth, which latter he seemed anxious of displaying, as he was
grinning from ear to ear. What with mustachios and whiskers, there was none of the rest of his face to be
seen. His head was uncovered, and his hair neatly done up in papillotes. His dress was a tight-fitting
swallow-tailed black coat (from one of whose pockets dangled a vast length of white handkerchief), black
kerseymere knee-breeches, black stockings, and stumpy-looking pumps, with huge bunches of black satin
ribbon for bows. Under one arm he carried a huge chapeau-de-bras, and under the other a fiddle nearly
five times as big as himself. In his left hand was a gold snuff-box, from which, as he capered down the hill,
cutting all manner of fantastic steps, he took snuff incessantly with an air of the greatest possible self-
satisfaction. God bless me! -- here was a sight for the honest burghers of Vondervotteimittiss!
To speak plainly, the fellow had, in spite of his grinning, an audacious and sinister kind of face; and as he
curvetted right into the village, the old stumpy appearance of his pumps excited no little suspicion; and
many a burgher who beheld him that day would have given a trifle for a peep beneath the white cambric
handkerchief which hung so obtrusively from the pocket of his swallow-tailed coat. But what mainly
occasioned a righteous indignation was, that the scoundrelly popinjay, while he cut a fandango here, and
a whirligig there, did not seem to have the remotest idea in the world of such a thing as keeping time in
his steps.
The good people of the borough had scarcely a chance, however, to get their eyes thoroughly open, when,
just as it wanted half a minute of noon, the rascal bounced, as I say, right into the midst of them; gave a
chassez here, and a balancez there; and then, after a pirouette and a pas-de-zephyr, pigeon-winged
himself right up into the belfry of the House of the Town Council, where the wonder-stricken belfry-man
sat smoking in a state of dignity and dismay. But the little chap seized him at once by the nose; gave it a
swing and a pull; clapped the big chapeau de-bras upon his head; knocked it down over his eyes and
mouth; and then, lifting up the big fiddle, beat him with it so long and so soundly, that what with the
belfry-man being so fat, and the fiddle being so hollow, you would have sworn that there was a regiment
of double-bass drummers all beating the devil's tattoo up in the belfry of the steeple of
Vondervotteimittiss.
There is no knowing to what desperate act of vengeance this unprincipled attack might have aroused the
inhabitants, but for the important fact that it now wanted only half a second of noon. The bell was about
to strike, and it was a matter of absolute and pre-eminent necessity that every body should look well at
his watch. It was evident, however, that just at this moment the fellow in the steeple was doing something
that he had no business to do with the clock. But as it now began to strike, nobody had any time to attend
to his manoeuvres, for they had all to count the strokes of the bell as it sounded.
"Von!" echoed every little old gentleman in every leather-bottomed arm-chair in Vondervotteimittiss.
"Von!" said his watch also; "von!" said the watch of his vrow; and "von!" said the watches of the boys, and
the little gilt repeaters on the tails of the cat and pig.
"Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!" said the bell.
"Dree! Vour! Fibe! Sax! Seben! Aight! Noin! Den!" answered the others.
"Und dvelf it is!" said all the little old gentlemen, putting up their watches. But the big bell had not done
with them yet.
"Der Teufel!" gasped the little old gentlemen, turning pale, dropping their pipes, and putting down all
their right legs from over their left knees.
"Der Teufel!" groaned they, "Dirteen! Dirteen!! -- Mein Gott, it is Dirteen o'clock!!"
Why attempt to describe the terrible scene which ensued? All Vondervotteimittiss flew at once into a
lamentable state of uproar.
"Vot is cum'd to mein pelly?" roared all the boys -- "I've been ongry for dis hour!"
"Vot is com'd to mein kraut?" screamed all the vrows, "It has been done to rags for this hour!"
"Vot is cum'd to mein pipe?" swore all the little old gentlemen, "Donder and Blitzen; it has been smoked
out for dis hour!" -- and they filled them up again in a great rage, and sinking back in their arm-chairs,
puffed away so fast and so fiercely that the whole valley was immediately filled with impenetrable smoke.
Meantime the cabbages all turned very red in the face, and it seemed as if old Nick himself had taken
possession of every thing in the shape of a timepiece. The clocks carved upon the furniture took to
dancing as if bewitched, while those upon the mantel-pieces could scarcely contain themselves for fury,
and kept such a continual striking of thirteen, and such a frisking and wriggling of their pendulums as
was really horrible to see. But, worse than all, neither the cats nor the pigs could put up any longer with
the behavior of the little repeaters tied to their tails, and resented it by scampering all over the place,
scratching and poking, and squeaking and screeching, and caterwauling and squalling, and flying into the
faces, and running under the petticoats of the people, and creating altogether the most abominable din
and confusion which it is possible for a reasonable person to conceive. And to make matters still more
distressing, the rascally little scape-grace in the steeple was evidently exerting himself to the utmost.
Every now and then one might catch a glimpse of the scoundrel through the smoke. There he sat in the
belfry upon the belfry-man, who was lying flat upon his back. In his teeth the villain held the bell-rope,
which he kept jerking about with his head, raising such a clatter that my ears ring again even to think of
it. On his lap lay the big fiddle, at which he was scraping, out of all time and tune, with both hands,
making a great show, the nincompoop! of playing "Judy O'Flannagan and Paddy O'Rafferty."
Affairs being thus miserably situated, I left the place in disgust, and now appeal for aid to all lovers of
correct time and fine kraut. Let us proceed in a body to the borough, and restore the ancient order of
things in Vondervotteimittiss by ejecting that little fellow from the steeple.
DIDDLING: CONSIDERED AS ONE OF THE EXACT SCIENCES.
SINCE the world began there have been two Jeremys. The one wrote a Jeremiad about usury, and was
called Jeremy Bentham. He has been much admired by Mr. John Neal, and was a great man in a small
way. The other gave name to the most important of the Exact Sciences, and was a great man in a great
way -- I may say, indeed, in the very greatest of ways.
Diddling -- or the abstract idea conveyed by the verb to diddle -- is sufficiently well understood. Yet the
fact, the deed, the thing diddling, is somewhat difficult to define. We may get, however, at a tolerably
distinct conception of the matter in hand, by defining- not the thing, diddling, in itself -- but man, as an
animal that diddles. Had Plato but hit upon this, he would have been spared the affront of the picked
chicken.
Very pertinently it was demanded of Plato, why a picked chicken, which was clearly "a biped without
feathers," was not, according to his own definition, a man? But I am not to be bothered by any similar
query. Man is an animal that diddles, and there is no animal that diddles but man. It will take an entire
hen-coop of picked chickens to get over that.
What constitutes the essence, the nare, the principle of diddling is, in fact, peculiar to the class of
creatures that wear coats and pantaloons. A crow thieves; a fox cheats; a weasel outwits; a man diddles.
To diddle is his destiny. "Man was made to mourn," says the poet. But not so: -- he was made to diddle.
This is his aim -- his object- his end. And for this reason when a man's diddled we say he's "done."
Diddling, rightly considered, is a compound, of which the ingredients are minuteness, interest,
perseverance, ingenuity, audacity, nonchalance, originality, impertinence, and grin.
Minuteness: -- Your diddler is minute. His operations are upon a small scale. His business is retail, for
cash, or approved paper at sight. Should he ever be tempted into magnificent speculation, he then, at
once, loses his distinctive features, and becomes what we term "financier." This latter word conveys the
diddling idea in every respect except that of magnitude. A diddler may thus be regarded as a banker in
petto -- a "financial operation," as a diddle at Brobdignag. The one is to the other, as Homer to "Flaccus" --
as a Mastodon to a mouse -- as the tail of a comet to that of a pig.
Interest: -- Your diddler is guided by self-interest. He scorns to diddle for the mere sake of the diddle. He
has an object in view- his pocket -- and yours. He regards always the main chance. He looks to Number
One. You are Number Two, and must look to yourself.
Perseverance: -- Your diddler perseveres. He is not readily discouraged. Should even the banks break, he
cares nothing about it. He steadily pursues his end, and
Ingenuity: -- Your diddler is ingenious. He has constructiveness large. He understands plot. He invents
and circumvents. Were he not Alexander he would be Diogenes. Were he not a diddler, he would be a
maker of patent rat-traps or an angler for trout.
Audacity: -- Your diddler is audacious. -- He is a bold man. He carries the war into Africa. He conquers all
by assault. He would not fear the daggers of Frey Herren. With a little more prudence Dick Turpin would
have made a good diddler; with a trifle less blarney, Daniel O'Connell; with a pound or two more brains
Charles the Twelfth.
Nonchalance: -- Your diddler is nonchalant. He is not at all nervous. He never had any nerves. He is never
seduced into a flurry. He is never put out -- unless put out of doors. He is cool -- cool as a cucumber. He is
calm -- "calm as a smile from Lady Bury." He is easy- easy as an old glove, or the damsels of ancient Baiae.
Originality: -- Your diddler is original -- conscientiously so. His thoughts are his own. He would scorn to
employ those of another. A stale trick is his aversion. He would return a purse, I am sure, upon
discovering that he had obtained it by an unoriginal diddle.
Impertinence. -- Your diddler is impertinent. He swaggers. He sets his arms a-kimbo. He thrusts his hands
in his trowsers' pockets. He sneers in your face. He treads on your corns. He eats your dinner, he drinks
your wine, he borrows your money, he pulls your nose, he kicks your poodle, and he kisses your wife.
Grin: -- Your true diddler winds up all with a grin. But this nobody sees but himself. He grins when his
daily work is done -- when his allotted labors are accomplished -- at night in his own closet, and altogether
for his own private entertainment. He goes home. He locks his door. He divests himself of his clothes. He
puts out his candle. He gets into bed. He places his head upon the pillow. All this done, and your diddler
grins. This is no hypothesis. It is a matter of course. I reason a priori, and a diddle would be no diddle
without a grin.
The origin of the diddle is referrable to the infancy of the Human Race. Perhaps the first diddler was
Adam. At all events, we can trace the science back to a very remote period of antiquity. The moderns,
however, have brought it to a perfection never dreamed of by our thick-headed progenitors. Without
pausing to speak of the "old saws," therefore, I shall content myself with a compendious account of some
of the more "modern instances."
A very good diddle is this. A housekeeper in want of a sofa, for instance, is seen to go in and out of several
cabinet warehouses. At length she arrives at one offering an excellent variety. She is accosted, and invited
to enter, by a polite and voluble individual at the door. She finds a sofa well adapted to her views, and
upon inquiring the price, is surprised and delighted to hear a sum named at least twenty per cent. lower
than her expectations. She hastens to make the purchase, gets a bill and receipt, leaves her address, with
a request that the article be sent home as speedily as possible, and retires amid a profusion of bows from
the shopkeeper. The night arrives and no sofa. A servant is sent to make inquiry about the delay. The
whole transaction is denied. No sofa has been sold -- no money received -- except by the diddler, who
played shop-keeper for the nonce.
Our cabinet warehouses are left entirely unattended, and thus afford every facility for a trick of this kind.
Visiters enter, look at furniture, and depart unheeded and unseen. Should any one wish to purchase, or to
inquire the price of an article, a bell is at hand, and this is considered amply sufficient.
Again, quite a respectable diddle is this. A well-dressed individual enters a shop, makes a purchase to the
value of a dollar; finds, much to his vexation, that he has left his pocket-book in another coat pocket; and
so says to the shopkeeper-
"My dear sir, never mind; just oblige me, will you, by sending the bundle home? But stay! I really believe
that I have nothing less than a five dollar bill, even there. However, you can send four dollars in change
with the bundle, you know."
"Very good, sir," replies the shop-keeper, who entertains, at once, a lofty opinion of the high-mindedness
of his customer. "I know fellows," he says to himself, "who would just have put the goods under their arm,
and walked off with a promise to call and pay the dollar as they came by in the afternoon."
A boy is sent with the parcel and change. On the route, quite accidentally, he is met by the purchaser, who
exclaims:
"Ah! This is my bundle, I see -- I thought you had been home with it, long ago. Well, go on! My wife, Mrs.
Trotter, will give you the five dollars -- I left instructions with her to that effect. The change you might as
well give to me -- I shall want some silver for the Post Office. Very good! One, two, is this a good quarter?-
three, four -- quite right! Say to Mrs. Trotter that you met me, and be sure now and do not loiter on the
way."
The boy doesn't loiter at all -- but he is a very long time in getting back from his errand -- for no lady of
the precise name of Mrs. Trotter is to be discovered. He consoles himself, however, that he has not been
such a fool as to leave the goods without the money, and re-entering his shop with a self-satisfied air, feels
sensibly hurt and indignant when his master asks him what has become of the change.
A very simple diddle, indeed, is this. The captain of a ship, which is about to sail, is presented by an
official looking person with an unusually moderate bill of city charges. Glad to get off so easily, and
confused by a hundred duties pressing upon him all at once, he discharges the claim forthwith. In about
fifteen minutes, another and less reasonable bill is handed him by one who soon makes it evident that the
first collector was a diddler, and the original collection a diddle.
And here, too, is a somewhat similar thing. A steamboat is casting loose from the wharf. A traveller,
portmanteau in hand, is discovered running toward the wharf, at full speed. Suddenly, he makes a dead
halt, stoops, and picks up something from the ground in a very agitated manner. It is a pocket-book, and --
"Has any gentleman lost a pocketbook?" he cries. No one can say that he has exactly lost a pocket-book;
but a great excitement ensues, when the treasure trove is found to be of value. The boat, however, must
not be detained.
"For God's sake, stay only a few minutes," says the finder of the book -- "the true claimant will presently
appear."
"Can't wait!" replies the man in authority; "cast off there, d'ye hear?"
"What am I to do?" asks the finder, in great tribulation. "I am about to leave the country for some years,
and I cannot conscientiously retain this large amount in my possession. I beg your pardon, sir," [here he
addresses a gentleman on shore,] "but you have the air of an honest man. Will you confer upon me the
favor of taking charge of this pocket-book -- I know I can trust you -- and of advertising it? The notes, you
see, amount to a very considerable sum. The owner will, no doubt, insist upon rewarding you for your
trouble-
"Well, if you must have it so -- I will take a small reward -- just to satisfy your scruples. Let me see -- why
these notes are all hundreds- bless my soul! a hundred is too much to take -- fifty would be quite enough, I
am sure-
"But then I have no change for a hundred, and upon the whole, you had better-
"Never mind!" cries the gentleman on shore, who has been examining his own pocket-book for the last
minute or so -- "never mind! I can fix it -- here is a fifty on the Bank of North America -- throw the book."
And the over-conscientious finder takes the fifty with marked reluctance, and throws the gentleman the
book, as desired, while the steamboat fumes and fizzes on her way. In about half an hour after her
departure, the "large amount" is seen to be a "counterfeit presentment," and the whole thing a capital
diddle.
A bold diddle is this. A camp-meeting, or something similar, is to be held at a certain spot which is
accessible only by means of a free bridge. A diddler stations himself upon this bridge, respectfully informs
all passers by of the new county law, which establishes a toll of one cent for foot passengers, two for
horses and donkeys, and so forth, and so forth. Some grumble but all submit, and the diddler goes home a
wealthier man by some fifty or sixty dollars well earned. This taking a toll from a great crowd of people is
an excessively troublesome thing.
A neat diddle is this. A friend holds one of the diddler's promises to pay, filled up and signed in due form,
upon the ordinary blanks printed in red ink. The diddler purchases one or two dozen of these blanks, and
every day dips one of them in his soup, makes his dog jump for it, and finally gives it to him as a bonne
bouche. The note arriving at maturity, the diddler, with the diddler's dog, calls upon the friend, and the
promise to pay is made the topic of discussion. The friend produces it from his escritoire, and is in the act
of reaching it to the diddler, when up jumps the diddler's dog and devours it forthwith. The diddler is not
only surprised but vexed and incensed at the absurd behavior of his dog, and expresses his entire
readiness to cancel the obligation at any moment when the evidence of the obligation shall be
forthcoming.
A very mean diddle is this. A lady is insulted in the street by a diddler's accomplice. The diddler himself
flies to her assistance, and, giving his friend a comfortable thrashing, insists upon attending the lady to
her own door. He bows, with his hand upon his heart, and most respectfully bids her adieu. She entreats
him, as her deliverer, to walk in and be introduced to her big brother and her papa. With a sigh, he
declines to do so. "Is there no way, then, sir," she murmurs, "in which I may be permitted to testify my
gratitude?"
"Why, yes, madam, there is. Will you be kind enough to lend me a couple of shillings?"
In the first excitement of the moment the lady decides upon fainting outright. Upon second thought,
however, she opens her purse-strings and delivers the specie. Now this, I say, is a diddle minute -- for one
entire moiety of the sum borrowed has to be paid to the gentleman who had the trouble of performing the
insult, and who had then to stand still and be thrashed for performing it.
Rather a small but still a scientific diddle is this. The diddler approaches the bar of a tavern, and demands
a couple of twists of tobacco. These are handed to him, when, having slightly examined them, he says:
"I don't much like this tobacco. Here, take it back, and give me a glass of brandy and water in its place."
The brandy and water is furnished and imbibed, and the diddler makes his way to the door. But the voice
of the tavern-keeper arrests him.
"I believe, sir, you have forgotten to pay for your brandy and water."
"Pay for my brandy and water! -- didn't I give you the tobacco for the brandy and water? What more
would you have?"
"But, sir, if you please, I don't remember that you paid me for the tobacco."
"What do you mean by that, you scoundrel? -- Didn't I give you back your tobacco? Isn't that your tobacco
lying there? Do you expect me to pay for what I did not take?"
"But, sir," says the publican, now rather at a loss what to say, "but sir-"
"But me no buts, sir," interrupts the diddler, apparently in very high dudgeon, and slamming the door
after him, as he makes his escape. -- "But me no buts, sir, and none of your tricks upon travellers."
Here again is a very clever diddle, of which the simplicity is not its least recommendation. A purse, or
pocket-book, being really lost, the loser inserts in one of the daily papers of a large city a fully descriptive
advertisement.
Whereupon our diddler copies the facts of this advertisement, with a change of heading, of general
phraseology and address. The original, for instance, is long, and verbose, is headed "A Pocket-Book Lost!"
and requires the treasure, when found, to be left at No. 1 Tom Street. The copy is brief, and being headed
with "Lost" only, indicates No. 2 Dick, or No. 3 Harry Street, as the locality at which the owner may be
seen. Moreover, it is inserted in at least five or six of the daily papers of the day, while in point of time, it
makes its appearance only a few hours after the original. Should it be read by the loser of the purse, he
would hardly suspect it to have any reference to his own misfortune. But, of course, the chances are five
or six to one, that the finder will repair to the address given by the diddler, rather than to that pointed out
by the rightful proprietor. The former pays the reward, pockets the treasure and decamps.
Quite an analogous diddle is this. A lady of ton has dropped, some where in the street, a diamond ring of
very unusual value. For its recovery, she offers some forty or fifty dollars reward -- giving, in her
advertisement, a very minute description of the gem, and of its settings, and declaring that, on its
restoration at No. so and so, in such and such Avenue, the reward would be paid instanter, without a
single question being asked. During the lady's absence from home, a day or two afterwards, a ring is
heard at the door of No. so and so, in such and such Avenue; a servant appears; the lady of the house is
asked for and is declared to be out, at which astounding information, the visitor expresses the most
poignant regret. His business is of importance and concerns the lady herself. In fact, he had the good
fortune to find her diamond ring. But perhaps it would be as well that he should call again. "By no
means!" says the servant; and "By no means!" says the lady's sister and the lady's sister-in-law, who are
summoned forthwith. The ring is clamorously identified, the reward is paid, and the finder nearly thrust
out of doors. The lady returns and expresses some little dissatisfaction with her sister and sister-in-law,
because they happen to have paid forty or fifty dollars for a fac-simile of her diamond ring -- a fac-simile
made out of real pinch-beck and unquestionable paste.
But as there is really no end to diddling, so there would be none to this essay, were I even to hint at half
the variations, or inflections, of which this science is susceptible. I must bring this paper, perforce, to a
conclusion, and this I cannot do better than by a summary notice of a very decent, but rather elaborate
diddle, of which our own city was made the theatre, not very long ago, and which was subsequently
repeated with success, in other still more verdant localities of the Union. A middle-aged gentleman
arrives in town from parts unknown. He is remarkably precise, cautious, staid, and deliberate in his
demeanor. His dress is scrupulously neat, but plain, unostentatious. He wears a white cravat, an ample
waistcoat, made with an eye to comfort alone; thick-soled cosy-looking shoes, and pantaloons without
straps. He has the whole air, in fact, of your well-to-do, sober-sided, exact, and respectable "man of
business," Par excellence -- one of the stern and outwardly hard, internally soft, sort of people that we see
in the crack high comedies -- fellows whose words are so many bonds, and who are noted for giving away
guineas, in charity, with the one hand, while, in the way of mere bargain, they exact the uttermost
fraction of a farthing with the other.
He makes much ado before he can get suited with a boarding house. He dislikes children. He has been
accustomed to quiet. His habits are methodical -- and then he would prefer getting into a private and
respectable small family, piously inclined. Terms, however, are no object -- only he must insist upon
settling his bill on the first of every month, (it is now the second) and begs his landlady, when he finally
obtains one to his mind, not on any account to forget his instructions upon this point -- but to send in a
bill, and receipt, precisely at ten o'clock, on the first day of every month, and under no circumstances to
put it off to the second.
These arrangements made, our man of business rents an office in a reputable rather than a fashionable
quarter of the town. There is nothing he more despises than pretense. "Where there is much show," he
says, "there is seldom any thing very solid behind" -- an observation which so profoundly impresses his
landlady's fancy, that she makes a pencil memorandum of it forthwith, in her great family Bible, on the
broad margin of the Proverbs of Solomon.
The next step is to advertise, after some such fashion as this, in the principal business six-pennies of the
city -- the pennies are eschewed as not "respectable" -- and as demanding payment for all advertisements
in advance. Our man of business holds it as a point of his faith that work should never be paid for until
done.
"WANTED -- The advertisers, being about to commence extensive business operations in this city, will
require the services of three or four intelligent and competent clerks, to whom a liberal salary will be
paid. The very best recommendations, not so much for capacity, as for integrity, will be expected. Indeed,
as the duties to be performed involve high responsibilities, and large amounts of money must necessarily
pass through the hands of those engaged, it is deemed advisable to demand a deposit of fifty dollars from
each clerk employed. No person need apply, therefore, who is not prepared to leave this sum in the
possession of the advertisers, and who cannot furnish the most satisfactory testimonials of morality.
Young gentlemen piously inclined will be preferred. Application should be made between the hours of ten
and eleven A. M., and four and five P. M., of Messrs.
By the thirty-first day of the month, this advertisement has brought to the office of Messrs. Bogs, Hogs,
Logs, Frogs, and Company, some fifteen or twenty young gentlemen piously inclined. But our man of
business is in no hurry to conclude a contract with any -- no man of business is ever precipitate -- and it is
not until the most rigid catechism in respect to the piety of each young gentleman's inclination, that his
services are engaged and his fifty dollars receipted for, just by way of proper precaution, on the part of
the respectable firm of Bogs, Hogs, Logs, Frogs, and Company. On the morning of the first day of the next
month, the landlady does not present her bill, according to promise -- a piece of neglect for which the
comfortable head of the house ending in ogs would no doubt have chided her severely, could he have been
prevailed upon to remain in town a day or two for that purpose.
As it is, the constables have had a sad time of it, running hither and thither, and all they can do is to
declare the man of business most emphatically, a "hen knee high" -- by which some persons imagine them
to imply that, in fact, he is n. e. i. -- by which again the very classical phrase non est inventus, is supposed
to be understood. In the meantime the young gentlemen, one and all, are somewhat less piously inclined
than before, while the landlady purchases a shilling's worth of the Indian rubber, and very carefully
obliterates the pencil memorandum that some fool has made in her great family Bible, on the broad
margin of the Proverbs of Solomon.
THE DOMAIN OF ARNHEIM
The garden like a la dy fair was cut, That lay as if she slumbered in delight, And to the open skies her
eyes did shut. The azure fields of Heaven were 'sembled right In a large round, set with the flowers of
light. The flowers de luce, and the round sparks of dew. That hung upon their azure leaves did shew Like
twinkling stars that sparkle in the evening blue. Giles Fletcher.
FROM his cradle to his grave a gale of prosperity bore my friend Ellison along. Nor do I use the word
prosperity in its mere worldly sense. I mean it as synonymous with happiness. The person of whom I
speak seemed born for the purpose of foreshadowing the doctrines of Turgot, Price, Priestley, and
Condorcet -- of exemplifying by individual instance what has been deemed the chimera of the
perfectionists. In the brief existence of Ellison I fancy that I have seen refuted the dogma, that in man's
very nature lies some hidden principle, the antagonist of bliss. An anxious examination of his career has
given me to understand that in general, from the violation of a few simple laws of humanity arises the
wretchedness of mankind -- that as a species we have in our possession the as yet unwrought elements of
content -- and that, even now, in the present darkness and madness of all thought on the great question of
the social condition, it is not impossible that man, the individual, under certain unusual and highly
fortuitous conditions, may be happy.
With opinions such as these my young friend, too, was fully imbued, and thus it is worthy of observation
that the uninterrupted enjoyment which distinguished his life was, in great measure, the result of
preconcert. It is indeed evident that with less of the instinctive philosophy which, now and then, stands so
well in the stead of experience, Mr. Ellison would have found himself precipitated, by the very
extraordinary success of his life, into the common vortex of unhappiness which yawns for those of pre-
eminent endowments. But it is by no means my object to pen an essay on happiness. The ideas of my
friend may be summed up in a few words. He admitted but four elementary principles, or more strictly,
conditions of bliss. That which he considered chief was (strange to say!) the simple and purely physical
one of free exercise in the open air. "The health," he said, "attainable by other means is scarcely worth the
name." He instanced the ecstasies of the fox-hunter, and pointed to the tillers of the earth, the only people
who, as a class, can be fairly considered happier than others. His second condition was the love of
woman. His third, and most difficult of realization, was the contempt of ambition. His fourth was an object
of unceasing pursuit; and he held that, other things being equal, the extent of attainable happiness was in
proportion to the spirituality of this object.
Ellison was remarkable in the continuous profusion of good gifts lavished upon him by fortune. In
personal grace and beauty he exceeded all men. His intellect was of that order to which the acquisition of
knowledge is less a labor than an intuition and a necessity. His family was one of the most illustrious of
the empire. His bride was the loveliest and most devoted of women. His possessions had been always
ample; but on the attainment of his majority, it was discovered that one of those extraordinary freaks of
fate had been played in his behalf which startle the whole social world amid which they occur, and seldom
fail radically to alter the moral constitution of those who are their objects.
It appears that about a hundred years before Mr. Ellison's coming of age, there had died, in a remote
province, one Mr. Seabright Ellison. This gentleman had amassed a princely fortune, and, having no
immediate connections, conceived the whim of suffering his wealth to accumulate for a century after his
decease. Minutely and sagaciously directing the various modes of investment, he bequeathed the
aggregate amount to the nearest of blood, bearing the name of Ellison, who should be alive at the end of
the hundred years. Many attempts had been made to set aside this singular bequest; their ex post facto
character rendered them abortive; but the attention of a jealous government was aroused, and a
legislative act finally obtained, forbidding all similar accumulations. This act, however, did not prevent
young Ellison from entering into possession, on his twenty-first birthday, as the heir of his ancestor
Seabright, of a fortune of four hundred and fifty millions of dollars.
When it had become known that such was the enormous wealth inherited, there were, of course, many
speculations as to the mode of its disposal. The magnitude and the immediate availability of the sum
bewildered all who thought on the topic. The possessor of any appreciable amount of money might have
been imagined to perform any one of a thousand things. With riches merely surpassing those of any
citizen, it would have been easy to suppose him engaging to supreme excess in the fashionable
extravagances of his time -- or busying himself with political intrigue -- or aiming at ministerial power -- or
purchasing increase of nobility -- or collecting large museums of virtu -- or playing the munificent patron
of letters, of science, of art -- or endowing, and bestowing his name upon extensive institutions of charity.
But for the inconceivable wealth in the actual possession of the heir, these objects and all ordinary objects
were felt to afford too limited a field. Recourse was had to figures, and these but sufficed to confound. It
was seen that, even at three per cent., the annual income of the inheritance amounted to no less than
thirteen millions and five hundred thousand dollars; which was one million and one hundred and twenty-
five thousand per month; or thirty-six thousand nine hundred and eighty-six per day; or one thousand five
hundred and forty-one per hour; or six and twenty dollars for every minute that flew. Thus the usual track
of supposition was thoroughly broken up. Men knew not what to imagine. There were some who even
conceived that Mr. Ellison would divest himself of at least one-half of his fortune, as of utterly superfluous
opulence -- enriching whole troops of his relatives by division of his superabundance. To the nearest of
these he did, in fact, abandon the very unusual wealth which was his own before the inheritance.
I was not surprised, however, to perceive that he had long made up his mind on a point which had
occasioned so much discussion to his friends. Nor was I greatly astonished at the nature of his decision.
In regard to individual charities he had satisfied his conscience. In the possibility of any improvement,
properly so called, being effected by man himself in the general condition of man, he had (I am sorry to
confess it) little faith. Upon the whole, whether happily or unhappily, he was thrown back, in very great
measure, upon self.
In the widest and noblest sense he was a poet. He comprehended, moreover, the true character, the
august aims, the supreme majesty and dignity of the poetic sentiment. The fullest, if not the sole proper
satisfaction of this sentiment he instinctively felt to lie in the creation of novel forms of beauty. Some
peculiarities, either in his early education, or in the nature of his intellect, had tinged with what is termed
materialism all his ethical speculations; and it was this bias, perhaps, which led him to believe that the
most advantageous at least, if not the sole legitimate field for the poetic exercise, lies in the creation of
novel moods of purely physical loveliness. Thus it happened he became neither musician nor poet -- if we
use this latter term in its every-day acceptation. Or it might have been that he neglected to become
either, merely in pursuance of his idea that in contempt of ambition is to be found one of the essential
principles of happiness on earth. Is it not indeed, possible that, while a high order of genius is necessarily
ambitious, the highest is above that which is termed ambition? And may it not thus happen that many far
greater than Milton have contentedly remained "mute and inglorious?" I believe that the world has never
seen -- and that, unless through some series of accidents goading the noblest order of mind into
distasteful exertion, the world will never see -- that full extent of triumphant execution, in the richer
domains of art, of which the human nature is absolutely capable.
Ellison became neither musician nor poet; although no man lived more profoundly enamored of music and
poetry. Under other circumstances than those which invested him, it is not impossible that he would have
become a painter. Sculpture, although in its nature rigorously poetical was too limited in its extent and
consequences, to have occupied, at any time, much of his attention. And I have now mentioned all the
provinces in which the common understanding of the poetic sentiment has declared it capable of
expatiating. But Ellison maintained that the richest, the truest, and most natural, if not altogether the
most extensive province, had been unaccountably neglected. No definition had spoken of the landscape-
gardener as of the poet; yet it seemed to my friend that the creation of the landscape-garden offered to
the proper Muse the most magnificent of opportunities. Here, indeed, was the fairest field for the display
of imagination in the endless combining of forms of novel beauty; the elements to enter into combination
being, by a vast superiority, the most glorious which the earth could afford. In the multiform and
multicolor of the flowers and the trees, he recognised the most direct and energetic efforts of Nature at
physical loveliness. And in the direction or concentration of this effort -- or, more properly, in its
adaptation to the eyes which were to behold it on earth -- he perceived that he should be employing the
best means -- laboring to the greatest advantage -- in the fulfilment, not only of his own destiny as poet,
but of the august purposes for which the Deity had implanted the poetic sentiment in man.
"Its adaptation to the eyes which were to behold it on earth." In his explanation of this phraseology, Mr.
Ellison did much toward solving what has always seemed to me an enigma: -- I mean the fact (which none
but the ignorant dispute) that no such combination of scenery exists in nature as the painter of genius
may produce. No such paradises are to be found in reality as have glowed on the canvas of Claude. In the
most enchanting of natural landscapes, there will always be found a defect or an excess -- many excesses
and defects. While the component parts may defy, individually, the highest skill of the artist, the
arrangement of these parts will always be susceptible of improvement. In short, no position can be
attained on the wide surface of the natural earth, from which an artistical eye, looking steadily, will not
find matter of offence in what is termed the "composition" of the landscape. And yet how unintelligible is
this! In all other matters we are justly instructed to regard nature as supreme. With her details we shrink
from competition. Who shall presume to imitate the colors of the tulip, or to improve the proportions of
the lily of the valley? The criticism which says, of sculpture or portraiture, that here nature is to be
exalted or idealized rather than imitated, is in error. No pictorial or sculptural combinations of points of
human liveliness do more than approach the living and breathing beauty. In landscape alone is the
principle of the critic true; and, having felt its truth here, it is but the headlong spirit of generalization
which has led him to pronounce it true throughout all the domains of art. Having, I say, felt its truth here;
for the feeling is no affectation or chimera. The mathematics afford no more absolute demonstrations
than the sentiments of his art yields the artist. He not only believes, but positively knows, that such and
such apparently arbitrary arrangements of matter constitute and alone constitute the true beauty. His
reasons, however, have not yet been matured into expression. It remains for a more profound analysis
than the world has yet seen, fully to investigate and express them. Nevertheless he is confirmed in his
instinctive opinions by the voice of all his brethren. Let a "composition" be defective; let an emendation
be wrought in its mere arrangement of form; let this emendation be submitted to every artist in the
world; by each will its necessity be admitted. And even far more than this: -- in remedy of the defective
composition, each insulated member of the fraternity would have suggested the identical emendation.
I repeat that in landscape arrangements alone is the physical nature susceptible of exaltation, and that,
therefore, her susceptibility of improvement at this one point, was a mystery I had been unable to solve.
My own thoughts on the subject had rested in the idea that the primitive intention of nature would have
so arranged the earth's surface as to have fulfilled at all points man's sense of perfection in the beautiful,
the sublime, or the picturesque; but that this primitive intention had been frustrated by the known
geological disturbances -- disturbances of form and color -- grouping, in the correction or allaying of
which lies the soul of art. The force of this idea was much weakened, however, by the necessity which it
involved of considering the disturbances abnormal and unadapted to any purpose. It was Ellison who
suggested that they were prognostic of death. He thus explained: -- Admit the earthly immortality of man
to have been the first intention. We have then the primitive arrangement of the earth's surface adapted to
his blissful estate, as not existent but designed. The disturbances were the preparations for his
subsequently conceived deathful condition.
"Now," said my friend, "what we regard as exaltation of the landscape may be really such, as respects
only the moral or human point of view. Each alteration of the natural scenery may possibly effect a
blemish in the picture, if we can suppose this picture viewed at large -- in mass -- from some point distant
from the earth's surface, although not beyond the limits of its atmosphere. It is easily understood that
what might improve a closely scrutinized detail, may at the same time injure a general or more distantly
observed effect. There may be a class of beings, human once, but now invisible to humanity, to whom,
from afar, our disorder may seem order -- our unpicturesqueness picturesque, in a word, the earth-angels,
for whose scrutiny more especially than our own, and for whose death -- refined appreciation of the
beautiful, may have been set in array by God the wide landscape-gardens of the hemispheres."
In the course of discussion, my friend quoted some passages from a writer on landscape-gardening who
has been supposed to have well treated his theme:
"There are properly but two styles of landscape-gardening, the natural and the artificial. One seeks to
recall the original beauty of the country, by adapting its means to the surrounding scenery, cultivating
trees in harmony with the hills or plain of the neighboring land; detecting and bringing into practice
those nice relations of size, proportion, and color which, hid from the common observer, are revealed
everywhere to the experienced student of nature. The result of the natural style of gardening, is seen
rather in the absence of all defects and incongruities -- in the prevalence of a healthy harmony and order -
- than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles. The artificial style has as many varieties as
there are different tastes to gratify. It has a certain general relation to the various styles of building.
There are the stately avenues and retirements of Versailles; Italian terraces; and a various mixed old
English style, which bears some relation to the domestic Gothic or English Elizabethan architecture.
Whatever may be said against the abuses of the artificial landscape -- gardening, a mixture of pure art in
a garden scene adds to it a great beauty. This is partly pleasing to the eye, by the show of order and
design, and partly moral. A terrace, with an old moss -- covered balustrade, calls up at once to the eye the
fair forms that have passed there in other days. The slightest exhibition of art is an evidence of care and
human interest."
"From what I have already observed," said Ellison, "you will understand that I reject the idea, here
expressed, of recalling the original beauty of the country. The original beauty is never so great as that
which may be introduced. Of course, every thing depends on the selection of a spot with capabilities.
What is said about detecting and bringing into practice nice relations of size, proportion, and color, is one
of those mere vaguenesses of speech which serve to veil inaccuracy of thought. The phrase quoted may
mean any thing, or nothing, and guides in no degree. That the true result of the natural style of gardening
is seen rather in the absence of all defects and incongruities than in the creation of any special wonders
or miracles, is a proposition better suited to the grovelling apprehension of the herd than to the fervid
dreams of the man of genius. The negative merit suggested appertains to that hobbling criticism which, in
letters, would elevate Addison into apotheosis. In truth, while that virtue which consists in the mere
avoidance of vice appeals directly to the understanding, and can thus be circumscribed in rule, the loftier
virtue, which flames in creation, can be apprehended in its results alone. Rule applies but to the merits of
denial -- to the excellencies which refrain. Beyond these, the critical art can but suggest. We may be
instructed to build a "Cato," but we are in vain told how to conceive a Parthenon or an "Inferno." The
thing done, however; the wonder accomplished; and the capacity for apprehension becomes universal.
The sophists of the negative school who, through inability to create, have scoffed at creation, are now
found the loudest in applause. What, in its chrysalis condition of principle, affronted their demure reason,
never fails, in its maturity of accomplishment, to extort admiration from their instinct of beauty.
"The author's observations on the artificial style," continued Ellison, "are less objectionable. A mixture of
pure art in a garden scene adds to it a great beauty. This is just; as also is the reference to the sense of
human interest. The principle expressed is incontrovertible -- but there may be something beyond it.
There may be an object in keeping with the principle -- an object unattainable by the means ordinarily
possessed by individuals, yet which, if attained, would lend a charm to the landscape-garden far
surpassing that which a sense of merely human interest could bestow. A poet, having very unusual
pecuniary resources, might, while retaining the necessary idea of art or culture, or, as our author
expresses it, of interest, so imbue his designs at once with extent and novelty of beauty, as to convey the
sentiment of spiritual interference. It will be seen that, in bringing about such result, he secures all the
advantages of interest or design, while relieving his work of the harshness or technicality of the worldly
art. In the most rugged of wildernesses -- in the most savage of the scenes of pure nature -- there is
apparent the art of a creator; yet this art is apparent to reflection only; in no respect has it the obvious
force of a feeling. Now let us suppose this sense of the Almighty design to be one step depressed -- to be
brought into something like harmony or consistency with the sense of human art -- to form an
intermedium between the two: -- let us imagine, for example, a landscape whose combined vastness and
definitiveness -- whose united beauty, magnificence, and strangeness, shall convey the idea of care, or
culture, or superintendence, on the part of beings superior, yet akin to humanity -- then the sentiment of
interest is preserved, while the art intervolved is made to assume the air of an intermediate or secondary
nature -- a nature which is not God, nor an emanation from God, but which still is nature in the sense of
the handiwork of the angels that hover between man and God."
It was in devoting his enormous wealth to the embodiment of a vision such as this -- in the free exercise in
the open air ensured by the personal superintendence of his plans -- in the unceasing object which these
plans afforded -- in the high spirituality of the object -- in the contempt of ambition which it enabled him
truly to feel -- in the perennial springs with which it gratified, without possibility of satiating, that one
master passion of his soul, the thirst for beauty, above all, it was in the sympathy of a woman, not
unwomanly, whose loveliness and love enveloped his existence in the purple atmosphere of Paradise, that
Ellison thought to find, and found, exemption from the ordinary cares of humanity, with a far greater
amount of positive happiness than ever glowed in the rapt day-dreams of De Stael.
I despair of conveying to the reader any distinct conception of the marvels which my friend did actually
accomplish. I wish to describe, but am disheartened by the difficulty of description, and hesitate between
detail and generality. Perhaps the better course will be to unite the two in their extremes.
Mr. Ellison's first step regarded, of course, the choice of a locality, and scarcely had he commenced
thinking on this point, when the luxuriant nature of the Pacific Islands arrested his attention. In fact, he
had made up his mind for a voyage to the South Seas, when a night's reflection induced him to abandon
the idea. "Were I misanthropic," he said, "such a locale would suit me. The thoroughness of its insulation
and seclusion, and the difficulty of ingress and egress, would in such case be the charm of charms; but as
yet I am not Timon. I wish the composure but not the depression of solitude. There must remain with me
a certain control over the extent and duration of my repose. There will be frequent hours in which I shall
need, too, the sympathy of the poetic in what I have done. Let me seek, then, a spot not far from a
populous city -- whose vicinity, also, will best enable me to execute my plans."
In search of a suitable place so situated, Ellison travelled for several years, and I was permitted to
accompany him. A thousand spots with which I was enraptured he rejected without hesitation, for reasons
which satisfied me, in the end, that he was right. We came at length to an elevated table-land of
wonderful fertility and beauty, affording a panoramic prospect very little less in extent than that of Aetna,
and, in Ellison's opinion as well as my own, surpassing the far-famed view from that mountain in all the
true elements of the picturesque.
"I am aware," said the traveller, as he drew a sigh of deep delight after gazing on this scene, entranced,
for nearly an hour, "I know that here, in my circumstances, nine-tenths of the most fastidious of men
would rest content. This panorama is indeed glorious, and I should rejoice in it but for the excess of its
glory. The taste of all the architects I have ever known leads them, for the sake of 'prospect,' to put up
buildings on hill-tops. The error is obvious. Grandeur in any of its moods, but especially in that of extent,
startles, excites -- and then fatigues, depresses. For the occasional scene nothing can be better -- for the
constant view nothing worse. And, in the constant view, the most objectionable phase of grandeur is that
of extent; the worst phase of extent, that of distance. It is at war with the sentiment and with the sense of
seclusion -- the sentiment and sense which we seek to humor in 'retiring to the country.' In looking from
the summit of a mountain we cannot help feeling abroad in the world. The heart-sick avoid distant
prospects as a pestilence."
It was not until toward the close of the fourth year of our search that we found a locality with which
Ellison professed himself satisfied. It is, of course, needless to say where was the locality. The late death
of my friend, in causing his domain to be thrown open to certain classes of visiters, has given to Arnheim
a species of secret and subdued if not solemn celebrity, similar in kind, although infinitely superior in
degree, to that which so long distinguished Fonthill.
The usual approach to Arnheim was by the river. The visiter left the city in the early morning. During the
forenoon he passed between shores of a tranquil and domestic beauty, on which grazed innumerable
sheep, their white fleeces spotting the vivid green of rolling meadows. By degrees the idea of cultivation
subsided into that of merely pastoral care. This slowly became merged in a sense of retirement -- this
again in a consciousness of solitude. As the evening approached, the channel grew more narrow, the
banks more and more precipitous; and these latter were clothed in rich, more profuse, and more sombre
foliage. The water increased in transparency. The stream took a thousand turns, so that at no moment
could its gleaming surface be seen for a greater distance than a furlong. At every instant the vessel
seemed imprisoned within an enchanted circle, having insuperable and impenetrable walls of foliage, a
roof of ultramarine satin, and no floor -- the keel balancing itself with admirable nicety on that of a
phantom bark which, by some accident having been turned upside down, floated in constant company
with the substantial one, for the purpose of sustaining it. The channel now became a gorge -- although the
term is somewhat inapplicable, and I employ it merely because the language has no word which better
represents the most striking -- not the most distinctive-feature of the scene. The character of gorge was
maintained only in the height and parallelism of the shores; it was lost altogether in their other traits. The
walls of the ravine (through which the clear water still tranquilly flowed) arose to an elevation of a
hundred and occasionally of a hundred and fifty feet, and inclined so much toward each other as, in a
great measure, to shut out the light of day; while the long plume-like moss which depended densely from
the intertwining shrubberies overhead, gave the whole chasm an air of funereal gloom. The windings
became more frequent and intricate, and seemed often as if returning in upon themselves, so that the
voyager had long lost all idea of direction. He was, moreover, enwrapt in an exquisite sense of the
strange. The thought of nature still remained, but her character seemed to have undergone modification,
there was a weird symmetry, a thrilling uniformity, a wizard propriety in these her works. Not a dead
branch -- not a withered leaf -- not a stray pebble -- not a patch of the brown earth was anywhere visible.
The crystal water welled up against the clean granite, or the unblemished moss, with a sharpness of
outline that delighted while it bewildered the eye.
Having threaded the mazes of this channel for some hours, the gloom deepening every moment, a sharp
and unexpected turn of the vessel brought it suddenly, as if dropped from heaven, into a circular basin of
very considerable extent when compared with the width of the gorge. It was about two hundred yards in
diameter, and girt in at all points but one -- that immediately fronting the vessel as it entered -- by hills
equal in general height to the walls of the chasm, although of a thoroughly different character. Their sides
sloped from the water's edge at an angle of some forty-five degrees, and they were clothed from base to
summit -- not a perceptible point escaping -- in a drapery of the most gorgeous flower-blossoms; scarcely
a green leaf being visible among the sea of odorous and fluctuating color. This basin was of great depth,
but so transparent was the water that the bottom, which seemed to consist of a thick mass of small round
alabaster pebbles, was distinctly visible by glimpses -- that is to say, whenever the eye could permit itself
not to see, far down in the inverted heaven, the duplicate blooming of the hills. On these latter there were
no trees, nor even shrubs of any size. The impressions wrought on the observer were those of richness,
warmth, color, quietude, uniformity, softness, delicacy, daintiness, voluptuousness, and a miraculous
extremeness of culture that suggested dreams of a new race of fairies, laborious, tasteful, magnificent,
and fastidious; but as the eye traced upward the myriad-tinted slope, from its sharp junction with the
water to its vague termination amid the folds of overhanging cloud, it became, indeed, difficult not to
fancy a panoramic cataract of rubies, sapphires, opals, and golden onyxes, rolling silently out of the sky.
The visiter, shooting suddenly into this bay from out the gloom of the ravine, is delighted but astounded
by the full orb of the declining sun, which he had supposed to be already far below the horizon, but which
now confronts him, and forms the sole termination of an otherwise limitless vista seen through another
chasm -- like rift in the hills.
But here the voyager quits the vessel which has borne him so far, and descends into a light canoe of ivory,
stained with arabesque devices in vivid scarlet, both within and without. The poop and beak of this boat
arise high above the water, with sharp points, so that the general form is that of an irregular crescent. It
lies on the surface of the bay with the proud grace of a swan. On its ermined floor reposes a single
feathery paddle of satin-wood; but no oarsmen or attendant is to be seen. The guest is bidden to be of
good cheer -- that the fates will take care of him. The larger vessel disappears, and he is left alone in the
canoe, which lies apparently motionless in the middle of the lake. While he considers what course to
pursue, however, he becomes aware of a gentle movement in the fairy bark. It slowly swings itself around
until its prow points toward the sun. It advances with a gentle but gradually accelerated velocity, while
the slight ripples it creates seem to break about the ivory side in divinest melody-seem to offer the only
possible explanation of the soothing yet melancholy music for whose unseen origin the bewildered
voyager looks around him in vain.
The canoe steadily proceeds, and the rocky gate of the vista is approached, so that its depths can be more
distinctly seen. To the right arise a chain of lofty hills rudely and luxuriantly wooded. It is observed,
however, that the trait of exquisite cleanness where the bank dips into the water, still prevails. There is
not one token of the usual river debris. To the left the character of the scene is softer and more obviously
artificial. Here the bank slopes upward from the stream in a very gentle ascent, forming a broad sward of
grass of a texture resembling nothing so much as velvet, and of a brilliancy of green which would bear
comparison with the tint of the purest emerald. This plateau varies in width from ten to three hundred
yards; reaching from the river-bank to a wall, fifty feet high, which extends, in an infinity of curves, but
following the general direction of the river, until lost in the distance to the westward. This wall is of one
continuous rock, and has been formed by cutting perpendicularly the once rugged precipice of the
stream's southern bank, but no trace of the labor has been suffered to remain. The chiselled stone has the
hue of ages, and is profusely overhung and overspread with the ivy, the coral honeysuckle, the eglantine,
and the clematis. The uniformity of the top and bottom lines of the wall is fully relieved by occasional
trees of gigantic height, growing singly or in small groups, both along the plateau and in the domain
behind the wall, but in close proximity to it; so that frequent limbs (of the black walnut especially) reach
over and dip their pendent extremities into the water. Farther back within the domain, the vision is
impeded by an impenetrable screen of foliage.
These things are observed during the canoe's gradual approach to what I have called the gate of the vista.
On drawing nearer to this, however, its chasm-like appearance vanishes; a new outlet from the bay is
discovered to the left -- in which direction the wall is also seen to sweep, still following the general course
of the stream. Down this new opening the eye cannot penetrate very far; for the stream, accompanied by
the wall, still bends to the left, until both are swallowed up by the leaves.
The boat, nevertheless, glides magically into the winding channel; and here the shore opposite the wall is
found to resemble that opposite the wall in the straight vista. Lofty hills, rising occasionally into
mountains, and covered with vegetation in wild luxuriance, still shut in the scene.
Floating gently onward, but with a velocity slightly augmented, the voyager, after many short turns, finds
his progress apparently barred by a gigantic gate or rather door of burnished gold, elaborately carved
and fretted, and reflecting the direct rays of the now fast-sinking sun with an effulgence that seems to
wreath the whole surrounding forest in flames. This gate is inserted in the lofty wall; which here appears
to cross the river at right angles. In a few moments, however, it is seen that the main body of the water
still sweeps in a gentle and extensive curve to the left, the wall following it as before, while a stream of
considerable volume, diverging from the principal one, makes its way, with a slight ripple, under the door,
and is thus hidden from sight. The canoe falls into the lesser channel and approaches the gate. Its
ponderous wings are slowly and musically expanded. The boat glides between them, and commences a
rapid descent into a vast amphitheatre entirely begirt with purple mountains, whose bases are laved by a
gleaming river throughout the full extent of their circuit. Meantime the whole Paradise of Arnheim bursts
upon the view. There is a gush of entrancing melody; there is an oppressive sense of strange sweet odor, --
there is a dream -- like intermingling to the eye of tall slender Eastern trees -- bosky shrubberies -- flocks
of golden and crimson birds -- lily-fringed lakes -- meadows of violets, tulips, poppies, hyacinths, and
tuberoses -- long intertangled lines of silver streamlets -- and, upspringing confusedly from amid all, a
mass of semi-Gothic, semi-Saracenic architecture sustaining itself by miracle in mid-air, glittering in the
red sunlight with a hundred oriels, minarets, and pinnacles; and seeming the phantom handiwork,
conjointly, of the Sylphs, of the Fairies, of the Genii and of the Gnomes.
THE DUC DE L' OMELE TTE
KEATS fell by a criticism. Who was it died of "The Andromache"? Ignoble souls! -- De L'Omelette perished
of an ortolan. L'histoire en est breve. Assist me, Spirit of Apicius!
A golden cage bore the little winged wanderer, enamored, melting, indolent, to the Chaussee D'Antin,
from its home in far Peru. From its queenly possessor La Bellissima, to the Duc De L'Omelette, six peers
of the empire conveyed the happy bird.
That night the Duc was to sup alone. In the privacy of his bureau he reclined languidly on that ottoman
for which he sacrificed his loyalty in outbidding his king -- the notorious ottoman of Cadet.
He buries his face in the pillow. The clock strikes! Unable to restrain his feelings, his Grace swallows an
olive. At this moment the door gently opens to the sound of soft music, and lo! the most delicate of birds
is before the most enamored of men! But what inexpressible dismay now overshadows the countenance of
the Duc? -- "Horreur! -- chien! -- Baptiste! -- l'oiseau! ah, bon Dieu! cet oiseau modeste que tu as
deshabille de ses plumes, et que tu as servi sans papier!" It is superfluous to say more: -- the Duc expired
in a paroxysm of disgust.
"Ha! ha! ha!" said his Grace on the third day after his decease.
"He! he! he!" replied the Devil faintly, drawing himself up with an air of hauteur.
"Why, surely you are not serious," retorted De L'Omelette. "I have sinned -- c'est vrai -- but, my good sir,
consider! -- you have no actual intention of putting such -- such barbarous threats into execution."
"Strip, indeed! very pretty i' faith! no, sir, I shall not strip. Who are you, pray, that I, Duc De L'Omelette,
Prince de Foie-Gras, just come of age, author of the 'Mazurkiad,' and Member of the Academy, should
divest myself at your bidding of the sweetest pantaloons ever made by Bourdon, the daintiest robe-de-
chambre ever put together by Rombert -- to say nothing of the taking my hair out of paper -- not to
mention the trouble I should have in drawing off my gloves?"
"Who am I? -- ah, true! I am Baal-Zebub, Prince of the Fly. I took thee, just now, from a rose-wood coffin
inlaid with ivory. Thou wast curiously scented, and labelled as per invoice. Belial sent thee, -- my
Inspector of Cemeteries. The pantaloons, which thou sayest were made by Bourdon, are an excellent pair
of linen drawers, and thy robe-de-chambre is a shroud of no scanty dimensions."
"Sir!" replied the Duc, "I am not to be insulted with impunity!- Sir! I shall take the earliest opportunity of
avenging this insult!- Sir! you shall hear from me! in the meantime au revoir!" -- and the Duc was bowing
himself out of the Satanic presence, when he was interrupted and brought back by a gentleman in
waiting. Hereupon his Grace rubbed his eyes, yawned, shrugged his shoulders, reflected. Having become
satisfied of his identity, he took a bird's eye view of his whereabouts.
The apartment was superb. Even De L'Omelette pronounced it bien comme il faut. It was not its length
nor its breadth, -- but its height -- ah, that was appalling! -- There was no ceiling -- certainly none- but a
dense whirling mass of fiery-colored clouds. His Grace's brain reeled as he glanced upward. From above,
hung a chain of an unknown blood-red metal -- its upper end lost, like the city of Boston, parmi les nues.
From its nether extremity swung a large cresset. The Duc knew it to be a ruby; but from it there poured a
light so intense, so still, so terrible, Persia never worshipped such -- Gheber never imagined such --
Mussulman never dreamed of such when, drugged with opium, he has tottered to a bed of poppies, his
back to the flowers, and his face to the God Apollo. The Duc muttered a slight oath, decidedly
approbatory.
The corners of the room were rounded into niches. Three of these were filled with statues of gigantic
proportions. Their beauty was Grecian, their deformity Egyptian, their tout ensemble French. In the
fourth niche the statue was veiled; it was not colossal. But then there was a taper ankle, a sandalled foot.
De L'Omelette pressed his hand upon his heart, closed his eyes, raised them, and caught his Satanic
Majesty -- in a blush.
But the paintings! -- Kupris! Astarte! Astoreth! -- a thousand and the same! And Rafaelle has beheld them!
Yes, Rafaelle has been here, for did he not paint the ---? and was he not consequently damned? The
paintings -- the paintings! O luxury! O love! -- who, gazing on those forbidden beauties, shall have eyes for
the dainty devices of the golden frames that besprinkled, like stars, the hyacinth and the porphyry walls?
But the Duc's heart is fainting within him. He is not, however, as you suppose, dizzy with magnificence,
nor drunk with the ecstatic breath of those innumerable censers. C'est vrai que de toutes ces choses il a
pense beaucoup -- mais! The Duc De L'Omelette is terror-stricken; for, through the lurid vista which a
single uncurtained window is affording, lo! gleams the most ghastly of all fires!
Le pauvre Duc! He could not help imagining that the glorious, the voluptuous, the never-dying melodies
which pervaded that hall, as they passed filtered and transmuted through the alchemy of the enchanted
window-panes, were the wailings and the howlings of the hopeless and the damned! And there, too! --
there! -- upon the ottoman! -- who could he be? -- he, the petitmaitre -- no, the Deity -- who sat as if carved
in marble, et qui sourit, with his pale countenance, si amerement?
Mais il faut agir -- that is to say, a Frenchman never faints outright. Besides, his Grace hated a scene -- De
L'Omelette is himself again. There were some foils upon a table -- some points also. The Duc s'echapper.
He measures two points, and, with a grace inimitable, offers his Majesty the choice. Horreur! his Majesty
does not fence!
Mais il joue! -- how happy a thought! -- but his Grace had always an excellent memory. He had dipped in
the "Diable" of Abbe Gualtier. Therein it is said "que le Diable n'ose pas refuser un jeu d'ecarte."
But the chances -- the chances! True -- desperate: but scarcely more desperate than the Duc. Besides,
was he not in the secret? -- had he not skimmed over Pere Le Brun? -- was he not a member of the Club
Vingt-un? "Si je perds," said he, "je serai deux fois perdu -- I shall be doubly dammed -- voila tout! (Here
his Grace shrugged his shoulders.) Si je gagne, je reviendrai a mes ortolans -- que les cartes soient
preparees!"
His Grace was all care, all attention -- his Majesty all confidence. A spectator would have thought of
Francis and Charles. His Grace thought of his game. His Majesty did not think; he shuffled. The Duc cut.
The cards were dealt. The trump is turned -- it is -- it is -- the king! No -- it was the queen. His Majesty
cursed her masculine habiliments. De L'Omelette placed his hand upon his heart.
They play. The Duc counts. The hand is out. His Majesty counts heavily, smiles, and is taking wine. The
Duc slips a card.
"C'est a vous a faire," said his Majesty, cutting. His Grace bowed, dealt, and arose from the table en
presentant le Roi.
Had Alexander not been Alexander, he would have been Diogenes; and the Duc assured his antagonist in
taking leave, "que s'il n'eut ete De L'Omelette il n'aurait point d'objection d'etre le Diable."
ELEONORA
I AM come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion. Men have called me mad; but the
question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence -- whether much that is
glorious- whether all that is profound -- does not spring from disease of thought -- from moods of mind
exalted at the expense of the general intellect. They who dream by day are cognizant of many things
which escape those who dream only by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity, and
thrill, in awakening, to find that they have been upon the verge of the great secret. In snatches, they learn
something of the wisdom which is of good, and more of the mere knowledge which is of evil. They
penetrate, however, rudderless or compassless into the vast ocean of the "light ineffable," and again, like
the adventures of the Nubian geographer, "agressi sunt mare tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi."
We will say, then, that I am mad. I grant, at least, that there are two distinct conditions of my mental
existence -- the condition of a lucid reason, not to be disputed, and belonging to the memory of events
forming the first epoch of my life -- and a condition of shadow and doubt, appertaining to the present, and
to the recollection of what constitutes the second great era of my being. Therefore, what I shall tell of the
earlier period, believe; and to what I may relate of the later time, give only such credit as may seem due,
or doubt it altogether, or, if doubt it ye cannot, then play unto its riddle the Oedipus.
She whom I loved in youth, and of whom I now pen calmly and distinctly these remembrances, was the
sole daughter of the only sister of my mother long departed. Eleonora was the name of my cousin. We had
always dwelled together, beneath a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. No unguided
footstep ever came upon that vale; for it lay away up among a range of giant hills that hung beetling
around about it, shutting out the sunlight from its sweetest recesses. No path was trodden in its vicinity;
and, to reach our happy home, there was need of putting back, with force, the foliage of many thousands
of forest trees, and of crushing to death the glories of many millions of fragrant flowers. Thus it was that
we lived all alone, knowing nothing of the world without the valley -- I, and my cousin, and her mother.
From the dim regions beyond the mountains at the upper end of our encircled domain, there crept out a
narrow and deep river, brighter than all save the eyes of Eleonora; and, winding stealthily about in mazy
courses, it passed away, at length, through a shadowy gorge, among hills still dimmer than those whence
it had issued. We called it the "River of Silence"; for there seemed to be a hushing influence in its flow. No
murmur arose from its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles upon which we loved
to gaze, far down within its bosom, stirred not at all, but lay in a motionless content, each in its own old
station, shining on gloriously forever.
The margin of the river, and of the many dazzling rivulets that glided through devious ways into its
channel, as well as the spaces that extended from the margins away down into the depths of the streams
until they reached the bed of pebbles at the bottom, -- these spots, not less than the whole surface of the
valley, from the river to the mountains that girdled it in, were carpeted all by a soft green grass, thick,
short, perfectly even, and vanilla-perfumed, but so besprinkled throughout with the yellow buttercup, the
white daisy, the purple violet, and the ruby-red asphodel, that its exceeding beauty spoke to our hearts in
loud tones, of the love and of the glory of God.
And, here and there, in groves about this grass, like wildernesses of dreams, sprang up fantastic trees,
whose tall slender stems stood not upright, but slanted gracefully toward the light that peered at noon-
day into the centre of the valley. Their mark was speckled with the vivid alternate splendor of ebony and
silver, and was smoother than all save the cheeks of Eleonora; so that, but for the brilliant green of the
huge leaves that spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with the Zephyrs, one might
have fancied them giant serpents of Syria doing homage to their sovereign the Sun.
Hand in hand about this valley, for fifteen years, roamed I with Eleonora before Love entered within our
hearts. It was one evening at the close of the third lustrum of her life, and of the fourth of my own, that
we sat, locked in each other's embrace, beneath the serpent-like trees, and looked down within the water
of the River of Silence at our images therein. We spoke no words during the rest of that sweet day, and
our words even upon the morrow were tremulous and few. We had drawn the God Eros from that wave,
and now we felt that he had enkindled within us the fiery souls of our forefathers. The passions which had
for centuries distinguished our race, came thronging with the fancies for which they had been equally
noted, and together breathed a delirious bliss over the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. A change fell
upon all things. Strange, brilliant flowers, star-shaped, burn out upon the trees where no flowers had
been known before. The tints of the green carpet deepened; and when, one by one, the white daisies
shrank away, there sprang up in place of them, ten by ten of the ruby-red asphodel. And life arose in our
paths; for the tall flamingo, hitherto unseen, with all gay glowing birds, flaunted his scarlet plumage
before us. The golden and silver fish haunted the river, out of the bosom of which issued, little by little, a
murmur that swelled, at length, into a lulling melody more divine than that of the harp of Aeolus-sweeter
than all save the voice of Eleonora. And now, too, a voluminous cloud, which we had long watched in the
regions of Hesper, floated out thence, all gorgeous in crimson and gold, and settling in peace above us,
sank, day by day, lower and lower, until its edges rested upon the tops of the mountains, turning all their
dimness into magnificence, and shutting us up, as if forever, within a magic prison-house of grandeur and
of glory.
The loveliness of Eleonora was that of the Seraphim; but she was a maiden artless and innocent as the
brief life she had led among the flowers. No guile disguised the fervor of love which animated her heart,
and she examined with me its inmost recesses as we walked together in the Valley of the Many-Colored
Grass, and discoursed of the mighty changes which had lately taken place therein.
At length, having spoken one day, in tears, of the last sad change which must befall Humanity, she
thenceforward dwelt only upon this one sorrowful theme, interweaving it into all our converse, as, in the
songs of the bard of Schiraz, the same images are found occurring, again and again, in every impressive
variation of phrase.
She had seen that the finger of Death was upon her bosom -- that, like the ephemeron, she had been
made perfect in loveliness only to die; but the terrors of the grave to her lay solely in a consideration
which she revealed to me, one evening at twilight, by the banks of the River of Silence. She grieved to
think that, having entombed her in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, I would quit forever its happy
recesses, transferring the love which now was so passionately her own to some maiden of the outer and
everyday world. And, then and there, I threw myself hurriedly at the feet of Eleonora, and offered up a
vow, to herself and to Heaven, that I would never bind myself in marriage to any daughter of Earth -- that
I would in no manner prove recreant to her dear memory, or to the memory of the devout affection with
which she had blessed me. And I called the Mighty Ruler of the Universe to witness the pious solemnity of
my vow. And the curse which I invoked of Him and of her, a saint in Helusion should I prove traitorous to
that promise, involved a penalty the exceeding great horror of which will not permit me to make record of
it here. And the bright eyes of Eleonora grew brighter at my words; and she sighed as if a deadly burthen
had been taken from her breast; and she trembled and very bitterly wept; but she made acceptance of the
vow, (for what was she but a child?) and it made easy to her the bed of her death. And she said to me, not
many days afterward, tranquilly dying, that, because of what I had done for the comfort of her spirit she
would watch over me in that spirit when departed, and, if so it were permitted her return to me visibly in
the watches of the night; but, if this thing were, indeed, beyond the power of the souls in Paradise, that
she would, at least, give me frequent indications of her presence, sighing upon me in the evening winds,
or filling the air which I breathed with perfume from the censers of the angels. And, with these words
upon her lips, she yielded up her innocent life, putting an end to the first epoch of my own.
Thus far I have faithfully said. But as I pass the barrier in Times path, formed by the death of my beloved,
and proceed with the second era of my existence, I feel that a shadow gathers over my brain, and I
mistrust the perfect sanity of the record. But let me on. -- Years dragged themselves along heavily, and
still I dwelled within the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass; but a second change had come upon all things.
The star-shaped flowers shrank into the stems of the trees, and appeared no more. The tints of the green
carpet faded; and, one by one, the ruby-red asphodels withered away; and there sprang up, in place of
them, ten by ten, dark, eye-like violets, that writhed uneasily and were ever encumbered with dew. And
Life departed from our paths; for the tall flamingo flaunted no longer his scarlet plumage before us, but
flew sadly from the vale into the hills, with all the gay glowing birds that had arrived in his company. And
the golden and silver fish swam down through the gorge at the lower end of our domain and bedecked the
sweet river never again. And the lulling melody that had been softer than the wind-harp of Aeolus, and
more divine than all save the voice of Eleonora, it died little by little away, in murmurs growing lower and
lower, until the stream returned, at length, utterly, into the solemnity of its original silence. And then,
lastly, the voluminous cloud uprose, and, abandoning the tops of the mountains to the dimness of old, fell
back into the regions of Hesper, and took away all its manifold golden and gorgeous glories from the
Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.
Yet the promises of Eleonora were not forgotten; for I heard the sounds of the swinging of the censers of
the angels; and streams of a holy perfume floated ever and ever about the valley; and at lone hours, when
my heart beat heavily, the winds that bathed my brow came unto me laden with soft sighs; and indistinct
murmurs filled often the night air, and once -- oh, but once only! I was awakened from a slumber, like the
slumber of death, by the pressing of spiritual lips upon my own.
But the void within my heart refused, even thus, to be filled. I longed for the love which had before filled
it to overflowing. At length the valley pained me through its memories of Eleonora, and I left it for ever
for the vanities and the turbulent triumphs of the world.
I found myself within a strange city, where all things might have served to blot from recollection the
sweet dreams I had dreamed so long in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. The pomps and pageantries
of a stately court, and the mad clangor of arms, and the radiant loveliness of women, bewildered and
intoxicated my brain. But as yet my soul had proved true to its vows, and the indications of the presence
of Eleonora were still given me in the silent hours of the night. Suddenly these manifestations they
ceased, and the world grew dark before mine eyes, and I stood aghast at the burning thoughts which
possessed, at the terrible temptations which beset me; for there came from some far, far distant and
unknown land, into the gay court of the king I served, a maiden to whose beauty my whole recreant heart
yielded at once -- at whose footstool I bowed down without a struggle, in the most ardent, in the most
abject worship of love. What, indeed, was my passion for the young girl of the valley in comparison with
the fervor, and the delirium, and the spirit-lifting ecstasy of adoration with which I poured out my whole
soul in tears at the feet of the ethereal Ermengarde? -- Oh, bright was the seraph Ermengarde! and in
that knowledge I had room for none other. -- Oh, divine was the angel Ermengarde! and as I looked down
into the depths of her memorial eyes, I thought only of them -- and of her.
I wedded; -- nor dreaded the curse I had invoked; and its bitterness was not visited upon me. And once --
but once again in the silence of the night; there came through my lattice the soft sighs which had
forsaken me; and they modelled themselves into familiar and sweet voice, saying:
"Sleep in peace! -- for the Spirit of Love reigneth and ruleth, and, in taking to thy passionate heart her
who is Ermengarde, thou art absolved, for reasons which shall be made known to thee in Heaven, of thy
vows unto Eleonora."
THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF M. VALDEMAR
OF course I shall not pretend to consider it any matter for wonder, that the extraordinary case of M.
Valdemar has excited discussion. It would have been a miracle had it not-especially under the
circumstances. Through the desire of all parties concerned, to keep the affair from the public, at least for
the present, or until we had farther opportunities for investigation -- through our endeavors to effect this -
- a garbled or exaggerated account made its way into society, and became the source of many unpleasant
misrepresentations, and, very naturally, of a great deal of disbelief.
It is now rendered necessary that I give the facts -- as far as I comprehend them myself. They are,
succinctly, these:
My attention, for the last three years, had been repeatedly drawn to the subject of Mesmerism; and,
about nine months ago it occurred to me, quite suddenly, that in the series of experiments made hitherto,
there had been a very remarkable and most unaccountable omission: -- no person had as yet been
mesmerized in articulo mortis. It remained to be seen, first, whether, in such condition, there existed in
the patient any susceptibility to the magnetic influence; secondly, whether, if any existed, it was impaired
or increased by the condition; thirdly, to what extent, or for how long a period, the encroachments of
Death might be arrested by the process. There were other points to be ascertained, but these most
excited my curiosity -- the last in especial, from the immensely important character of its consequences.
In looking around me for some subject by whose means I might test these particulars, I was brought to
think of my friend, M. Ernest Valdemar, the well-known compiler of the "Bibliotheca Forensica," and
author (under the nom de plume of Issachar Marx) of the Polish versions of "Wallenstein" and
"Gargantua." M. Valdemar, who has resided principally at Harlaem, N.Y., since the year 1839, is (or was)
particularly noticeable for the extreme spareness of his person -- his lower limbs much resembling those
of John Randolph; and, also, for the whiteness of his whiskers, in violent contrast to the blackness of his
hair -- the latter, in consequence, being very generally mistaken for a wig. His temperament was markedly
nervous, and rendered him a good subject for mesmeric experiment. On two or three occasions I had put
him to sleep with little difficulty, but was disappointed in other results which his peculiar constitution had
naturally led me to anticipate. His will was at no period positively, or thoroughly, under my control, and in
regard to clairvoyance, I could accomplish with him nothing to be relied upon. I always attributed my
failure at these points to the disordered state of his health. For some months previous to my becoming
acquainted with him, his physicians had declared him in a confirmed phthisis. It was his custom, indeed,
to speak calmly of his approaching dissolution, as of a matter neither to be avoided nor regretted.
When the ideas to which I have alluded first occurred to me, it was of course very natural that I should
think of M. Valdemar. I knew the steady philosophy of the man too well to apprehend any scruples from
him; and he had no relatives in America who would be likely to interfere. I spoke to him frankly upon the
subject; and, to my surprise, his interest seemed vividly excited. I say to my surprise, for, although he had
always yielded his person freely to my experiments, he had never before given me any tokens of sympathy
with what I did. His disease was if that character which would admit of exact calculation in respect to the
epoch of its termination in death; and it was finally arranged between us that he would send for me about
twenty-four hours before the period announced by his physicians as that of his decease.
It is now rather more than seven months since I received, from M. Valdemar himself, the subjoined note:
My DEAR P -- ,
You may as well come now. D -- and F -- are agreed that I cannot hold out beyond to-morrow midnight;
and I think they have hit the time very nearly.
VALDEMAR
I received this note within half an hour after it was written, and in fifteen minutes more I was in the dying
man's chamber. I had not seen him for ten days, and was appalled by the fearful alteration which the brief
interval had wrought in him. His face wore a leaden hue; the eyes were utterly lustreless; and the
emaciation was so extreme that the skin had been broken through by the cheek-bones. His expectoration
was excessive. The pulse was barely perceptible. He retained, nevertheless, in a very remarkable manner,
both his mental power and a certain degree of physical strength. He spoke with distinctness -- took some
palliative medicines without aid -- and, when I entered the room, was occupied in penciling memoranda in
a pocket-book. He was propped up in the bed by pillows. Doctors D -- and F -- were in attendance.
After pressing Valdemar's hand, I took these gentlemen aside, and obtained from them a minute account
of the patient's condition. The left lung had been for eighteen months in a semi-osseous or cartilaginous
state, and was, of course, entirely useless for all purposes of vitality. The right, in its upper portion, was
also partially, if not thoroughly, ossified, while the lower region was merely a mass of purulent tubercles,
running one into another. Several extensive perforations existed; and, at one point, permanent adhesion
to the ribs had taken place. These appearances in the right lobe were of comparatively recent date. The
ossification had proceeded with very unusual rapidity; no sign of it had discovered a month before, and
the adhesion had only been observed during the three previous days. Independently of the phthisis, the
patient was suspected of aneurism of the aorta; but on this point the osseous symptoms rendered an exact
diagnosis impossible. It was the opinion of both physicians that M. Valdemar would die about midnight on
the morrow (Sunday). It was then seven o'clock on Saturday evening.
On quitting the invalid's bed-side to hold conversation with myself, Doctors D -- and F -- had bidden him a
final farewell. It had not been their intention to return; but, at my request, they agreed to look in upon the
patient about ten the next night.
When they had gone, I spoke freely with M. Valdemar on the subject of his approaching dissolution, as
well as, more particularly, of the experiment proposed. He still professed himself quite willing and even
anxious to have it made, and urged me to commence it at once. A male and a female nurse were in
attendance; but I did not feel myself altogether at liberty to engage in a task of this character with no
more reliable witnesses than these people, in case of sudden accident, might prove. I therefore postponed
operations until about eight the next night, when the arrival of a medical student with whom I had some
acquaintance, (Mr. Theodore L -- l,) relieved me from farther embarrassment. It had been my design,
originally, to wait for the physicians; but I was induced to proceed, first, by the urgent entreaties of M.
Valdemar, and secondly, by my conviction that I had not a moment to lose, as he was evidently sinking
fast.
Mr. L -- l was so kind as to accede to my desire that he would take notes of all that occurred, and it is from
his memoranda that what I now have to relate is, for the most part, either condensed or copied verbatim.
It wanted about five minutes of eight when, taking the patient's hand, I begged him to state, as distinctly
as he could, to Mr. L -- l, whether he (M. Valdemar) was entirely willing that I should make the experiment
of mesmerizing him in his then condition.
He replied feebly, yet quite audibly, "Yes, I wish to be "I fear you have mesmerized" -- adding immediately
afterwards, deferred it too long."
While he spoke thus, I commenced the passes which I had already found most effectual in subduing him.
He was evidently influenced with the first lateral stroke of my hand across his forehead; but although I
exerted all my powers, no farther perceptible effect was induced until some minutes after ten o'clock,
when Doctors D -- and F -- called, according to appointment. I explained to them, in a few words, what I
designed, and as they opposed no objection, saying that the patient was already in the death agony, I
proceeded without hesitation -- exchanging, however, the lateral passes for downward ones, and directing
my gaze entirely into the right eye of the sufferer.
By this time his pulse was imperceptible and his breathing was stertorous, and at intervals of half a
minute.
This condition was nearly unaltered for a quarter of an hour. At the expiration of this period, however, a
natural although a very deep sigh escaped the bosom of the dying man, and the stertorous breathing
ceased -- that is to say, its stertorousness was no longer apparent; the intervals were undiminished. The
patient's extremities were of an icy coldness.
At five minutes before eleven I perceived unequivocal signs of the mesmeric influence. The glassy roll of
the eye was changed for that expression of uneasy inward examination which is never seen except in
cases of sleep-waking, and which it is quite impossible to mistake. With a few rapid lateral passes I made
the lids quiver, as in incipient sleep, and with a few more I closed them altogether. I was not satisfied,
however, with this, but continued the manipulations vigorously, and with the fullest exertion of the will,
until I had completely stiffened the limbs of the slumberer, after placing them in a seemingly easy
position. The legs were at full length; the arms were nearly so, and reposed on the bed at a moderate
distance from the loin. The head was very slightly elevated.
When I had accomplished this, it was fully midnight, and I requested the gentlemen present to examine
M. Valdemar's condition. After a few experiments, they admitted him to be an unusually perfect state of
mesmeric trance. The curiosity of both the physicians was greatly excited. Dr. D -- resolved at once to
remain with the patient all night, while Dr. F -- took leave with a promise to return at daybreak. Mr. L -- l
and the nurses remained.
We left M. Valdemar entirely undisturbed until about three o'clock in the morning, when I approached
him and found him in precisely the same condition as when Dr. F -- went away -- that is to say, he lay in
the same position; the pulse was imperceptible; the breathing was gentle (scarcely noticeable, unless
through the application of a mirror to the lips); the eyes were closed naturally; and the limbs were as
rigid and as cold as marble. Still, the general appearance was certainly not that of death.
As I approached M. Valdemar I made a kind of half effort to influence his right arm into pursuit of my
own, as I passed the latter gently to and fro above his person. In such experiments with this patient had
never perfectly succeeded before, and assuredly I had little thought of succeeding now; but to my
astonishment, his arm very readily, although feebly, followed every direction I assigned it with mine. I
determined to hazard a few words of conversation.
"M. Valdemar," I said, "are you asleep?" He made no answer, but I perceived a tremor about the lips, and
was thus induced to repeat the question, again and again. At its third repetition, his whole frame was
agitated by a very slight shivering; the eyelids unclosed themselves so far as to display a white line of the
ball; the lips moved sluggishly, and from between them, in a barely audible whisper, issued the words:
I here felt the limbs and found them as rigid as ever. The right arm, as before, obeyed the direction of my
hand. I questioned the sleep-waker again:
The answer now was immediate, but even less audible than before: "No pain -- I am dying."
I did not think it advisable to disturb him farther just then, and nothing more was said or done until the
arrival of Dr. F -- , who came a little before sunrise, and expressed unbounded astonishment at finding the
patient still alive. After feeling the pulse and applying a mirror to the lips, he requested me to speak to
the sleep-waker again. I did so, saying:
As before, some minutes elapsed ere a reply was made; and during the interval the dying man seemed to
be collecting his energies to speak. At my fourth repetition of the question, he said very faintly, almost
inaudibly:
It was now the opinion, or rather the wish, of the physicians, that M. Valdemar should be suffered to
remain undisturbed in his present apparently tranquil condition, until death should supervene -- and this,
it was generally agreed, must now take place within a few minutes. I concluded, however, to speak to him
once more, and merely repeated my previous question.
While I spoke, there came a marked change over the countenance of the sleep-waker. The eyes rolled
themselves slowly open, the pupils disappearing upwardly; the skin generally assumed a cadaverous hue,
resembling not so much parchment as white paper; and the circular hectic spots which, hitherto, had
been strongly defined in the centre of each cheek, went out at once. I use this expression, because the
suddenness of their departure put me in mind of nothing so much as the extinguishment of a candle by a
puff of the breath. The upper lip, at the same time, writhed itself away from the teeth, which it had
previously covered completely; while the lower jaw fell with an audible jerk, leaving the mouth widely
extended, and disclosing in full view the swollen and blackened tongue. I presume that no member of the
party then present had been unaccustomed to death-bed horrors; but so hideous beyond conception was
the appearance of M. Valdemar at this moment, that there was a general shrinking back from the region
of the bed.
I now feel that I have reached a point of this narrative at which every reader will be startled into positive
disbelief. It is my business, however, simply to proceed.
There was no longer the faintest sign of vitality in M. Valdemar; and concluding him to be dead, we were
consigning him to the charge of the nurses, when a strong vibratory motion was observable in the tongue.
This continued for perhaps a minute. At the expiration of this period, there issued from the distended and
motionless jaws a voice -- such as it would be madness in me to attempt describing. There are, indeed,
two or three epithets which might be considered as applicable to it in part; I might say, for example, that
the sound was harsh, and broken and hollow; but the hideous whole is indescribable, for the simple
reason that no similar sounds have ever jarred upon the ear of humanity. There were two particulars,
nevertheless, which I thought then, and still think, might fairly be stated as characteristic of the
intonation -- as well adapted to convey some idea of its unearthly peculiarity. In the first place, the voice
seemed to reach our ears -- at least mine -- from a vast distance, or from some deep cavern within the
earth. In the second place, it impressed me (I fear, indeed, that it will be impossible to make myself
comprehended) as gelatinous or glutinous matters impress the sense of touch.
I have spoken both of "sound" and of "voice." I mean to say that the sound was one of distinct -- of even
wonderfully, thrillingly distinct -- syllabification. M. Valdemar spoke -- obviously in reply to the question I
had propounded to him a few minutes before. I had asked him, it will be remembered, if he still slept. He
now said:
It remained in all respects as I have last described it, with the exception that the mirror no longer
afforded evidence of respiration. An attempt to draw blood from the arm failed. I should mention, too,
that this limb was no farther subject to my will. I endeavored in vain to make it follow the direction of my
hand. The only real indication, indeed, of the mesmeric influence, was now found in the vibratory
movement of the tongue, whenever I addressed M. Valdemar a question. He seemed to be making an
effort to reply, but had no longer sufficient volition. To queries put to him by any other person than myself
he seemed utterly insensible -- although I endeavored to place each member of the company in mesmeric
rapport with him. I believe that I have now related all that is necessary to an understanding of the sleep-
waker's state at this epoch. Other nurses were procured; and at ten o'clock I left the house in company
with the two physicians and Mr. L -- l.
In the afternoon we all called again to see the patient. His condition remained precisely the same. We had
now some discussion as to the propriety and feasibility of awakening him; but we had little difficulty in
agreeing that no good purpose would be served by so doing. It was evident that, so far, death (or what is
usually termed death) had been arrested by the mesmeric process. It seemed clear to us all that to
awaken M. Valdemar would be merely to insure his instant, or at least his speedy dissolution.
From this period until the close of last week -- an interval of nearly seven months -- we continued to make
daily calls at M. Valdemar's house, accompanied, now and then, by medical and other friends. All this time
the sleeper-waker remained exactly as I have last described him. The nurses' attentions were continual.
It was on Friday last that we finally resolved to make the experiment of awakening or attempting to
awaken him; and it is the (perhaps) unfortunate result of this latter experiment which has given rise to so
much discussion in private circles -- to so much of what I cannot help thinking unwarranted popular
feeling.
For the purpose of relieving M. Valdemar from the mesmeric trance, I made use of the customary passes.
These, for a time, were unsuccessful. The first indication of revival was afforded by a partial descent of
the iris. It was observed, as especially remarkable, that this lowering of the pupil was accompanied by the
profuse out-flowing of a yellowish ichor (from beneath the lids) of a pungent and highly offensive odor.
It was now suggested that I should attempt to influence the patient's arm, as heretofore. I made the
attempt and failed. Dr. F -- then intimated a desire to have me put a question. I did so, as follows:
"M. Valdemar, can you explain to us what are your feelings or wishes now?"
There was an instant return of the hectic circles on the cheeks; the tongue quivered, or rather rolled
violently in the mouth (although the jaws and lips remained rigid as before;) and at length the same
hideous voice which I have already described, broke forth:
"For God's sake! -- quick! -- quick! -- put me to sleep -- or, quick! -- waken me! -- quick! -- I say to you that I
am dead!"
I was thoroughly unnerved, and for an instant remained undecided what to do. At first I made an
endeavor to re-compose the patient; but, failing in this through total abeyance of the will, I retraced my
steps and as earnestly struggled to awaken him. In this attempt I soon saw that I should be successful --
or at least I soon fancied that my success would be complete -- and I am sure that all in the room were
prepared to see the patient awaken.
For what really occurred, however, it is quite impossible that any human being could have been prepared.
As I rapidly made the mesmeric passes, amid ejaculations of "dead! dead!" absolutely bursting from the
tongue and not from the lips of the sufferer, his whole frame at once -- within the space of a single minute,
or even less, shrunk -- crumbled -- absolutely rotted away beneath my hands. Upon the bed, before that
whole company, there lay a nearly liquid mass of loathsome -- of detestable putridity.
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER
Son coeur est un luth suspendu; Sitôt qu'on le touche il rèsonne. De Béranger
DURING the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung
oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary
tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the
melancholy House of Usher. I know not how it was - but, with the first glimpse of the building, a sense of
insufferable gloom pervaded my spirit. I say insufferable; for the feeling was unrelieved by any of that
half-pleasurable, because poetic, sentiment, with which the mind usually receives even the sternest
natural images of the desolate or terrible. I looked upon the scene before me - upon the mere house, and
the simple landscape features of the domain - upon the bleak walls - upon the vacant eye-like windows -
upon a few rank sedges - and upon a few white trunks of decayed trees - with an utter depression of soul
which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon
opium - the bitter lapse into everyday life - the hideous dropping off of the veil. There was an iciness, a
sinking, a sickening of the heart - an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the
imagination could torture into aught of the sublime. What was it - I paused to think - what was it that so
unnerved me in the contemplation of the House of Usher? It was a mystery all insoluble; nor could I
grapple with the shadowy fancies that crowded upon me as I pondered. I was forced to fall back upon the
unsatisfactory conclusion, that while, beyond doubt, there are combinations of very simple natural objects
which have the power of thus affecting us, still the analysis of this power lies among considerations
beyond our depth. It was possible, I reflected, that a mere different arrangement of the particulars of the
scene, of the details of the picture, would be sufficient to modify, or perhaps to annihilate its capacity for
sorrowful impression; and, acting upon this idea, I reined my horse to the precipitous brink of a black and
lurid tarn that lay in unruffled lustre by the dwelling, and gazed down - but with a shudder even more
thrilling than before - upon the remodelled and inverted images of the gray sedge, and the ghastly tree-
stems, and the vacant and eye-like windows.
Nevertheless, in this mansion of gloom I now proposed to myself a sojourn of some weeks. Its proprietor,
Roderick Usher, had been one of my boon companions in boyhood; but many years had elapsed since our
last meeting. A letter, however, had lately reached me in a distant part of the country - a letter from him -
which, in its wildly importunate nature, had admitted of no other than a personal reply. The MS. gave
evidence of nervous agitation. The writer spoke of acute bodily illness - of a mental disorder which
oppressed him - and of an earnest desire to see me, as his best, and indeed his only personal friend, with
a view of attempting, by the cheerfulness of my society, some alleviation of his malady. It was the manner
in which all this, and much more, was said - it was the apparent heart that went with his request - which
allowed me no room for hesitation; and I accordingly obeyed forthwith what I still considered a very
singular summons.
Although, as boys, we had been even intimate associates, yet I really knew little of my friend. His reserve
had been always excessive and habitual. I was aware, however, that his very ancient family had been
noted, time out of mind, for a peculiar sensibility of temperament, displaying itself, through long ages, in
many works of exalted art, and manifested, of late, in repeated deeds of munificent yet unobtrusive
charity, as well as in a passionate devotion to the intricacies, perhaps even more than to the orthodox and
easily recognisable beauties, of musical science. I had learned, too, the very remarkable fact, that the
stem of the Usher race, all time-honored as it was, had put forth, at no period, any enduring branch; in
other words, that the entire family lay in the direct line of descent, and had always, with very trifling and
very temporary variation, so lain. It was this deficiency, I considered, while running over in thought the
perfect keeping of the character of the premises with the accredited character of the people, and while
speculating upon the possible influence which the one, in the long lapse of centuries, might have
exercised upon the other - it was this deficiency, perhaps, of collateral issue, and the consequent
undeviating transmission, from sire to son, of the patrimony with the name, which had, at length, so
identified the two as to merge the original title of the estate in the quaint and equivocal appellation of the
"House of Usher" - an appellation which seemed to include, in the minds of the peasantry who used it,
both the family and the family mansion.
I have said that the sole effect of my somewhat childish experiment - that of looking down within the tarn
- had been to deepen the first singular impression. There can be no doubt that the consciousness of the
rapid increase of my superstition - for why should I not so term it? - served mainly to accelerate the
increase itself. Such, I have long known, is the paradoxical law of all sentiments having terror as a basis.
And it might have been for this reason only, that, when I again uplifted my eyes to the house itself, from
its image in the pool, there grew in my mind a strange fancy - a fancy so ridiculous, indeed, that I but
mention it to show the vivid force of the sensations which oppressed me. I had so worked upon my
imagination as really to believe that about the whole mansion and domain there hung an atmosphere
peculiar to themselves and their immediate vicinity - an atmosphere which had no affinity with the air of
heaven, but which had reeked up from the decayed trees, and the gray wall, and the silent tarn - a
pestilent and mystic vapor, dull, sluggish, faintly discernible, and leaden-hued.
Shaking off from my spirit what must have been a dream, I scanned more narrowly the real aspect of the
building. Its principal feature seemed to be that of an excessive antiquity. The discoloration of ages had
been great. Minute fungi overspread the whole exterior, hanging in a fine tangled web-work from the
eaves. Yet all this was apart from any extraordinary dilapidation. No portion of the masonry had fallen;
and there appeared to be a wild inconsistency between its still perfect adaptation of parts, and the
crumbling condition of the individual stones. In this there was much that reminded me of the specious
totality of old wood-work which has rotted for long years in some neglected vault, with no disturbance
from the breath of the external air. Beyond this indication of extensive decay, however, the fabric gave
little token of instability. Perhaps the eye of a scrutinizing observer might have discovered a barely
perceptible fissure, which, extending from the roof of the building in front, made its way down the wall in
a zigzag direction, until it became lost in the sullen waters of the tarn.
Noticing these things, I rode over a short causeway to the house. A servant in waiting took my horse, and
I entered the Gothic archway of the hall. A valet, of stealthy step, thence conducted me, in silence,
through many dark and intricate passages in my progress to the studio of his master. Much that I
encountered on the way contributed, I know not how, to heighten the vague sentiments of which I have
already spoken. While the objects around me - while the carvings of the ceilings, the sombre tapestries of
the walls, the ebon blackness of the floors, and the phantasmagoric armorial trophies which rattled as I
strode, were but matters to which, or to such as which, I had been accustomed from my infancy - while I
hesitated not to acknowledge how familiar was all this - I still wondered to find how unfamiliar were the
fancies which ordinary images were stirring up. On one of the staircases, I met the physician of the
family. His countenance, I thought, wore a mingled expression of low cunning and perplexity. He accosted
me with trepidation and passed on. The valet now threw open a door and ushered me into the presence of
his master.
The room in which I found myself was very large and lofty. The windows were long, narrow, and pointed,
and at so vast a distance from the black oaken floor as to be altogether inaccessible from within. Feeble
gleams of encrimsoned light made their way through the trellissed panes, and served to render
sufficiently distinct the more prominent objects around; the eye, however, struggled in vain to reach the
remoter angles of the chamber, or the recesses of the vaulted and fretted ceiling. Dark draperies hung
upon the walls. The general furniture was profuse, comfortless, antique, and tattered. Many books and
musical instruments lay scattered about, but failed to give any vitality to the scene. I felt that I breathed
an atmosphere of sorrow. An air of stern, deep, and irredeemable gloom hung over and pervaded all.
Upon my entrance, Usher arose from a sofa on which he had been lying at full length, and greeted me
with a vivacious warmth which had much in it, I at first thought, of an overdone cordiality - of the
constrained effort of the ennuyé; man of the world. A glance, however, at his countenance, convinced me
of his perfect sincerity. We sat down; and for some moments, while he spoke not, I gazed upon him with a
feeling half of pity, half of awe. Surely, man had never before so terribly altered, in so brief a period, as
had Roderick Usher! It was with difficulty that I could bring myself to admit the identity of the wan being
before me with the companion of my early boyhood. Yet the character of his face had been at all times
remarkable. A cadaverousness of complexion; an eye large, liquid, and luminous beyond comparison; lips
somewhat thin and very pallid, but of a surpassingly beautiful curve; a nose of a delicate Hebrew model,
but with a breadth of nostril unusual in similar formations; a finely moulded chin, speaking, in its want of
prominence, of a want of moral energy; hair of a more than web-like softness and tenuity; these features,
with an inordinate expansion above the regions of the temple, made up altogether a countenance not
easily to be forgotten. And now in the mere exaggeration of the prevailing character of these features,
and of the expression they were wont to convey, lay so much of change that I doubted to whom I spoke.
The now ghastly pallor of the skin, and the now miraculous lustre of the eye, above all things startled and
even awed me. The silken hair, too, had been suffered to grow all unheeded, and as, in its wild gossamer
texture, it floated rather than fell about the face, I could not, even with effort, connect its Arabesque
expression with any idea of simple humanity.
In the manner of my friend I was at once struck with an incoherence - an inconsistency; and I soon found
this to arise from a series of feeble and futile struggles to overcome an habitual trepidancy - an excessive
nervous agitation. For something of this nature I had indeed been prepared, no less by his letter, than by
reminiscences of certain boyish traits, and by conclusions deduced from his peculiar physical
conformation and temperament. His action was alternately vivacious and sullen. His voice varied rapidly
from a tremulous indecision (when the animal spirits seemed utterly in abeyance) to that species of
energetic concision - that abrupt, weighty, unhurried, and hollow-sounding enunciation - that leaden, self-
balanced and perfectly modulated guttural utterance, which may be observed in the lost drunkard, or the
irreclaimable eater of opium, during the periods of his most intense excitement.
It was thus that he spoke of the object of my visit, of his earnest desire to see me, and of the solace he
expected me to afford him. He entered, at some length, into what he conceived to be the nature of his
malady. It was, he said, a constitutional and a family evil, and one for which he despaired to find a remedy
- a mere nervous affection, he immediately added, which would undoubtedly soon pass off. It displayed
itself in a host of unnatural sensations. Some of these, as he detailed them, interested and bewildered me;
although, perhaps, the terms, and the general manner of the narration had their weight. He suffered
much from a morbid acuteness of the senses; the most insipid food was alone endurable; he could wear
only garments of certain texture; the odors of all flowers were oppressive; his eyes were tortured by even
a faint light; and there were but peculiar sounds, and these from stringed instruments, which did not
inspire him with horror.
To an anomalous species of terror I found him a bounden slave. "I shall perish," said he, "I must perish in
this deplorable folly. Thus, thus, and not otherwise, shall I be lost. I dread the events of the future, not in
themselves, but in their results. I shudder at the thought of any, even the most trivial, incident, which may
operate upon this intolerable agitation of soul. I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger, except in its
absolute effect - in terror. In this unnerved - in this pitiable condition - I feel that the period will sooner or
later arrive when I must abandon life and reason together, in some struggle with the grim phantasm,
FEAR."
I learned, moreover, at intervals, and through broken and equivocal hints, another singular feature of his
mental condition. He was enchained by certain superstitious impressions in regard to the dwelling which
he tenanted, and whence, for many years, he had never ventured forth - in regard to an influence whose
supposititious force was conveyed in terms too shadowy here to be re-stated - an influence which some
peculiarities in the mere form and substance of his family mansion, had, by dint of long sufferance, he
said, obtained over his spirit - an effect which the physique of the gray walls and turrets, and of the dim
tarn into which they all looked down, had, at length, brought about upon the morale of his existence.
He admitted, however, although with hesitation, that much of the peculiar gloom which thus afflicted him
could be traced to a more natural and far more palpable origin - to the severe and long-continued illness -
indeed to the evidently approaching dissolution - of a tenderly beloved sister - his sole companion for long
years - his last and only relative on earth. "Her decease," he said, with a bitterness which I can never
forget, "would leave him (him the hopeless and the frail) the last of the ancient race of the Ushers." While
he spoke, the lady Madeline (for so was she called) passed slowly through a remote portion of the
apartment, and, without having noticed my presence, disappeared. I regarded her with an utter
astonishment not unmingled with dread - and yet I found it impossible to account for such feelings. A
sensation of stupor oppressed me, as my eyes followed her retreating steps. When a door, at length,
closed upon her, my glance sought instinctively and eagerly the countenance of the brother - but he had
buried his face in his hands, and I could only perceive that a far more than ordinary wanness had
overspread the emaciated fingers through which trickled many passionate tears.
The disease of the lady Madeline had long baffled the skill of her physicians. A settled apathy, a gradual
wasting away of the person, and frequent although transient affections of a partially cataleptical
character, were the unusual diagnosis. Hitherto she had steadily borne up against the pressure of her
malady, and had not betaken herself finally to bed; but, on the closing in of the evening of my arrival at
the house, she succumbed (as her brother told me at night with inexpressible agitation) to the prostrating
power of the destroyer; and I learned that the glimpse I had obtained of her person would thus probably
be the last I should obtain - that the lady, at least while living, would be seen by me no more.
For several days ensuing, her name was unmentioned by either Usher or myself: and during this period I
was busied in earnest endeavors to alleviate the melancholy of my friend. We painted and read together;
or I listened, as if in a dream, to the wild improvisations of his speaking guitar. And thus, as a closer and
still closer intimacy admitted me more unreservedly into the recesses of his spirit, the more bitterly did I
perceive the futility of all attempt at cheering a mind from which darkness, as if an inherent positive
quality, poured forth upon all objects of the moral and physical universe, in one unceasing radiation of
gloom.
I shall ever bear about me a memory of the many solemn hours I thus spent alone with the master of the
House of Usher. Yet I should fail in any attempt to convey an idea of the exact character of the studies, or
of the occupations, in which he involved me, or led me the way. An excited and highly distempered
ideality threw a sulphureous lustre over all. His long improvised dirges will ring forever in my ears.
Among other things, I hold painfully in mind a certain singular perversion and amplification of the wild air
of the last waltz of Von Weber. From the paintings over which his elaborate fancy brooded, and which
grew, touch by touch, into vaguenesses at which I shuddered the more thrillingly, because I shuddered
knowing not why; - from these paintings (vivid as their images now are before me) I would in vain
endeavor to educe more than a small portion which should lie within the compass of merely written
words. By the utter simplicity, by the nakedness of his designs, he arrested and overawed attention. If
ever mortal painted an idea, that mortal was Roderick Usher. For me at least - in the circumstances then
surrounding me - there arose out of the pure abstractions which the hypochondriac contrived to throw
upon his canvass, an intensity of intolerable awe, no shadow of which felt I ever yet in the contemplation
of the certainly glowing yet too concrete reveries of Fuseli.
One of the phantasmagoric conceptions of my friend, partaking not so rigidly of the spirit of abstraction,
may be shadowed forth, although feebly, in words. A small picture presented the interior of an immensely
long and rectangular vault or tunnel, with low walls, smooth, white, and without interruption or device.
Certain accessory points of the design served well to convey the idea that this excavation lay at an
exceeding depth below the surface of the earth. No outlet was observed in any portion of its vast extent,
and no torch, or other artificial source of light was discernible; yet a flood of intense rays rolled
throughout, and bathed the whole in a ghastly and inappropriate splendor.
I have just spoken of that morbid condition of the auditory nerve which rendered all music intolerable to
the sufferer, with the exception of certain effects of stringed instruments. It was, perhaps, the narrow
limits to which he thus confined himself upon the guitar, which gave birth, in great measure, to the
fantastic character of his performances. But the fervid facility of his impromptus could not be so
accounted for. They must have been, and were, in the notes, as well as in the words of his wild fantasias
(for he not unfrequently accompanied himself with rhymed verbal improvisations), the result of that
intense mental collectedness and concentration to which I have previously alluded as observable only in
particular moments of the highest artificial excitement. The words of one of these rhapsodies I have easily
remembered. I was, perhaps, the more forcibly impressed with it, as he gave it, because, in the under or
mystic current of its meaning, I fancied that I perceived, and for the first time, a full consciousness on the
part of Usher, of the tottering of his lofty reason upon her throne. The verses, which were entitled "The
Haunted Palace," ran very nearly, if not accurately, thus:
I. In the greenest of our valleys, By good angels tenanted, Once a fair and stately palace - Radiant palace -
reared its head. In the monarch Thought's dominion - It stood there! Never seraph spread a pinion Over
fabric half so fair. II. Banners yellow, glorious, golden, On its roof did float and flow; (This - all this - was
in the olden Time long ago) And every gentle air that dallied, In that sweet day, Along the ramparts
plumed and pallid, A winged odor went away. III. Wanderers in that happy valley Through two luminous
windows saw Spirits moving musically To a lute's well-tunéd law, Round about a throne, where sitting
(Porphyrogene!) In state his glory well befitting, The ruler of the realm was seen. IV. And all with pearl
and ruby glowing Was the fair palace door, Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing, And sparkling
evermore, A troop of Echoes whose sweet duty Was but to sing, In voices of surpassing beauty, The wit
and wisdom of their king. V. But evil things, in robes of sorrow, Assailed the monarch's high estate; (Ah,
let us mourn, for never morrow Shall dawn upon him, desolate!) And, round about his home, the glory
That blushed and bloomed Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed. VI. And travellers
now within that valley, Through the red-litten windows, see Vast forms that move fantastically To a
discordant melody; While, like a rapid ghastly river, Through the pale door, A hideous throng rush out
forever, And laugh - but smile no more.
I well remember that suggestions arising from this ballad, led us into a train of thought wherein there
became manifest an opinion of Usher's which I mention not so much on account of its novelty, (for other
men * have thought thus,) as on account of the pertinacity with which he maintained it. This opinion, in its
general form, was that of the sentience of all vegetable things. But, in his disordered fancy, the idea had
assumed a more daring character, and trespassed, under certain conditions, upon the kingdom of
inorganization. I lack words to express the full extent, or the earnest abandon of his persuasion. The
belief, however, was connected (as I have previously hinted) with the gray stones of the home of his
forefathers. The conditions of the sentience had been here, he imagined, fulfilled in the method of
collocation of these stones - in the order of their arrangement, as well as in that of the many fungi which
overspread them, and of the decayed trees which stood around - above all, in the long undisturbed
endurance of this arrangement, and in its reduplication in the still waters of the tarn. Its evidence - the
evidence of the sentience - was to be seen, he said, (and I here started as he spoke,) in the gradual yet
certain condensation of an atmosphere of their own about the waters and the walls. The result was
discoverable, he added, in that silent, yet importunate and terrible influence which for centuries had
moulded the destinies of his family, and which made him what I now saw him - what he was. Such
opinions need no comment, and I will make none.
* Watson, Dr. Percival, Spallanzani, and especially the Bishop of Landaff. - See "Chemical Essays," vol v.
Our books - the books which, for years, had formed no small portion of the mental existence of the invalid
- were, as might be supposed, in strict keeping with this character of phantasm. We pored together over
such works as the Ververt et Chartreuse of Gresset; the Belphegor of Machiavelli; the Heaven and Hell of
Swedenborg; the Subterranean Voyage of Nicholas Klimm by Holberg; the Chiromancy of Robert Flud, of
Jean D'Indaginé, and of De la Chambre; the Journey into the Blue Distance of Tieck; and the City of the
Sun of Campanella. One favorite volume was a small octavo edition of the Directorium Inquisitorium, by
the Dominican Eymeric de Gironne; and there were passages in Pomponius Mela, about the old African
Satyrs and OEgipans, over which Usher would sit dreaming for hours. His chief delight, however, was
found in the perusal of an exceedingly rare and curious book in quarto Gothic - the manual of a forgotten
church - the Vigiliae Mortuorum secundum Chorum Ecclesiae Maguntinae.
I could not help thinking of the wild ritual of this work, and of its probable influence upon the
hypochondriac, when, one evening, having informed me abruptly that the lady Madeline was no more, he
stated his intention of preserving her corpse for a fortnight, (previously to its final interment,) in one of
the numerous vaults within the main walls of the building. The worldly reason, however, assigned for this
singular proceeding, was one which I did not feel at liberty to dispute. The brother had been led to his
resolution (so he told me) by consideration of the unusual character of the malady of the deceased, of
certain obtrusive and eager inquiries on the part of her medical men, and of the remote and exposed
situation of the burial-ground of the family. I will not deny that when I called to mind the sinister
countenance of the person whom I met upon the staircase, on the day of my arrival at the house, I had no
desire to oppose what I regarded as at best but a harmless, and by no means an unnatural, precaution.
At the request of Usher, I personally aided him in the arrangements for the temporary entombment. The
body having been encoffined, we two alone bore it to its rest. The vault in which we placed it (and which
had been so long unopened that our torches, half smothered in its oppressive atmosphere, gave us little
opportunity for investigation) was small, damp, and entirely without means of admission for light; lying, at
great depth, immediately beneath that portion of the building in which was my own sleeping apartment. It
had been used, apparently, in remote feudal times, for the worst purposes of a donjon-keep, and, in later
days, as a place of deposit for powder, or some other highly combustible substance, as a portion of its
floor, and the whole interior of a long archway through which we reached it, were carefully sheathed with
copper. The door, of massive iron, had been, also, similarly protected. Its immense weight caused an
unusually sharp grating sound, as it moved upon its hinges.
Having deposited our mournful burden upon tressels within this region of horror, we partially turned
aside the yet unscrewed lid of the coffin, and looked upon the face of the tenant. A striking similitude
between the brother and sister now first arrested my attention; and Usher, divining, perhaps, my
thoughts, murmured out some few words from which I learned that the deceased and himself had been
twins, and that sympathies of a scarcely intelligible nature had always existed between them. Our
glances, however, rested not long upon the dead - for we could not regard her unawed. The disease which
had thus entombed the lady in the maturity of youth, had left, as usual in all maladies of a strictly
cataleptical character, the mockery of a faint blush upon the bosom and the face, and that suspiciously
lingering smile upon the lip which is so terrible in death. We replaced and screwed down the lid, and,
having secured the door of iron, made our way, with toil, into the scarcely less gloomy apartments of the
upper portion of the house.
And now, some days of bitter grief having elapsed, an observable change came over the features of the
mental disorder of my friend. His ordinary manner had vanished. His ordinary occupations were
neglected or forgotten. He roamed from chamber to chamber with hurried, unequal, and objectless step.
The pallor of his countenance had assumed, if possible, a more ghastly hue - but the luminousness of his
eye had utterly gone out. The once occasional huskiness of his tone was heard no more; and a tremulous
quaver, as if of extreme terror, habitually characterized his utterance. There were times, indeed, when I
thought his unceasingly agitated mind was laboring with some oppressive secret, to divulge which he
struggled for the necessary courage. At times, again, I was obliged to resolve all into the mere
inexplicable vagaries of madness, for I beheld him gazing upon vacancy for long hours, in an attitude of
the profoundest attention, as if listening to some imaginary sound. It was no wonder that his condition
terrified - that it infected me. I felt creeping upon me, by slow yet certain degrees, the wild influences of
his own fantastic yet impressive superstitions.
It was, especially, upon retiring to bed late in the night of the seventh or eighth day after the placing of
the lady Madeline within the donjon, that I experienced the full power of such feelings. Sleep came not
near my couch - while the hours waned and waned away. I struggled to reason off the nervousness which
had dominion over me. I endeavored to believe that much, if not all of what I felt, was due to the
bewildering influence of the gloomy furniture of the room - of the dark and tattered draperies, which,
tortured into motion by the breath of a rising tempest, swayed fitfully to and fro upon the walls, and
rustled uneasily about the decorations of the bed. But my efforts were fruitless. An irrepressible tremor
gradually pervaded my frame; and, at length, there sat upon my very heart an incubus of utterly causeless
alarm. Shaking this off with a gasp and a struggle, I uplifted myself upon the pillows, and, peering
earnestly within the intense darkness of the chamber, harkened - I know not why, except that an
instinctive spirit prompted me - to certain low and indefinite sounds which came, through the pauses of
the storm, at long intervals, I knew not whence. Overpowered by an intense sentiment of horror,
unaccountable yet unendurable, I threw on my clothes with haste (for I felt that I should sleep no more
during the night), and endeavored to arouse myself from the pitiable condition into which I had fallen, by
pacing rapidly to and fro through the apartment.
I had taken but few turns in this manner, when a light step on an adjoining staircase arrested my
attention. I presently recognised it as that of Usher. In an instant afterward he rapped, with a gentle
touch, at my door, and entered, bearing a lamp. His countenance was, as usual, cadaverously wan - but,
moreover, there was a species of mad hilarity in his eyes - an evidently restrained hysteria in his whole
demeanor. His air appalled me - but anything was preferable to the solitude which I had so long endured,
and I even welcomed his presence as a relief.
"And you have not seen it?" he said abruptly, after having stared about him for some moments in silence -
"you have not then seen it? - but, stay! you shall." Thus speaking, and having carefully shaded his lamp,
he hurried to one of the casements, and threw it freely open to the storm.
The impetuous fury of the entering gust nearly lifted us from our feet. It was, indeed, a tempestuous yet
sternly beautiful night, and one wildly singular in its terror and its beauty. A whirlwind had apparently
collected its force in our vicinity; for there were frequent and violent alterations in the direction of the
wind; and the exceeding density of the clouds (which hung so low as to press upon the turrets of the
house) did not prevent our perceiving the life-like velocity with which they flew careering from all points
against each other, without passing away into the distance. I say that even their exceeding density did not
prevent our perceiving this - yet we had no glimpse of the moon or stars - nor was there any flashing forth
of the lightning. But the under surfaces of the huge masses of agitated vapor, as well as all terrestrial
objects immediately around us, were glowing in the unnatural light of a faintly luminous and distinctly
visible gaseous exhalation which hung about and enshrouded the mansion.
"You must not - you shall not behold this!" said I, shudderingly, to Usher, as I led him, with a gentle
violence, from the window to a seat. "These appearances, which bewilder you, are merely electrical
phenomena not uncommon - or it may be that they have their ghastly origin in the rank miasma of the
tarn. Let us close this casement; - the air is chilling and dangerous to your frame. Here is one of your
favorite romances. I will read, and you shall listen; - and so we will pass away this terrible night together."
The antique volume which I had taken up was the "Mad Trist" of Sir Launcelot Canning; but I had called it
a favorite of Usher's more in sad jest than in earnest; for, in truth, there is little in its uncouth and
unimaginative prolixity which could have had interest for the lofty and spiritual ideality of my friend. It
was, however, the only book immediately at hand; and I indulged a vague hope that the excitement which
now agitated the hypochondriac, might find relief (for the history of mental disorder is full of similar
anomalies) even in the extremeness of the folly which I should read. Could I have judged, indeed, by the
wild overstrained air of vivacity with which he harkened, or apparently harkened, to the words of the tale,
I might well have congratulated myself upon the success of my design.
I had arrived at that well-known portion of the story where Ethelred, the hero of the Trist, having sought
in vain for peaceable admission into the dwelling of the hermit, proceeds to make good an entrance by
force. Here, it will be remembered, the words of the narrative run thus:
"And Ethelred, who was by nature of a doughty heart, and who was now mighty withal, on account of the
powerfulness of the wine which he had drunken, waited no longer to hold parley with the hermit, who, in
sooth, was of an obstinate and maliceful turn, but, feeling the rain upon his shoulders, and fearing the
rising of the tempest, uplifted his mace outright, and, with blows, made quickly room in the plankings of
the door for his gauntleted hand; and now pulling therewith sturdily, he so cracked, and ripped, and tore
all asunder, that the noise of the dry and hollow-sounding wood alarummed and reverberated throughout
the forest."
At the termination of this sentence I started, and for a moment, paused; for it appeared to me (although I
at once concluded that my excited fancy had deceived me) - it appeared to me that, from some very
remote portion of the mansion, there came, indistinctly, to my ears, what might have been, in its exact
similarity of character, the echo (but a stifled and dull one certainly) of the very cracking and ripping
sound which Sir Launcelot had so particularly described. It was, beyond doubt, the coincidence alone
which had arrested my attention; for, amid the rattling of the sashes of the casements, and the ordinary
commingled noises of the still increasing storm, the sound, in itself, had nothing, surely, which should
have interested or disturbed me. I continued the story:
"But the good champion Ethelred, now entering within the door, was sore enraged and amazed to
perceive no signal of the maliceful hermit; but, in the stead thereof, a dragon of a scaly and prodigious
demeanor, and of a fiery tongue, which sate in guard before a palace of gold, with a floor of silver; and
upon the wall there hung a shield of shining brass with this legend enwritten -
Who entereth herein, a conqueror hath bin; Who slayeth the dragon, the shield he shall win;
And Ethelred uplifted his mace, and struck upon the head of the dragon, which fell before him, and gave
up his pesty breath, with a shriek so horrid and harsh, and withal so piercing, that Ethelred had fain to
close his ears with his hands against the dreadful noise of it, the like whereof was never before heard."
Here again I paused abruptly, and now with a feeling of wild amazement - for there could be no doubt
whatever that, in this instance, I did actually hear (although from what direction it proceeded I found it
impossible to say) a low and apparently distant, but harsh, protracted, and most unusual screaming or
grating sound - the exact counterpart of what my fancy had already conjured up for the dragon's
unnatural shriek as described by the romancer.
Oppressed, as I certainly was, upon the occurrence of this second and most extraordinary coincidence, by
a thousand conflicting sensations, in which wonder and extreme terror were predominant, I still retained
sufficient presence of mind to avoid exciting, by any observation, the sensitive nervousness of my
companion. I was by no means certain that he had noticed the sounds in question; although, assuredly, a
strange alteration had, during the last few minutes, taken place in his demeanor. From a position fronting
my own, he had gradually brought round his chair, so as to sit with his face to the door of the chamber;
and thus I could but partially perceive his features, although I saw that his lips trembled as if he were
murmuring inaudibly. His head had dropped upon his breast - yet I knew that he was not asleep, from the
wide and rigid opening of the eye as I caught a glance of it in profile. The motion of his body, too, was at
variance with this idea - for he rocked from side to side with a gentle yet constant and uniform sway.
Having rapidly taken notice of all this, I resumed the narrative of Sir Launcelot, which thus proceeded:
"And now, the champion, having escaped from the terrible fury of the dragon, bethinking himself of the
brazen shield, and of the breaking up of the enchantment which was upon it, removed the carcass from
out of the way before him, and approached valorously over the silver pavement of the castle to where the
shield was upon the wall; which in sooth tarried not for his full coming, but fell down at his feet upon the
silver floor, with a mighty great and terrible ringing sound."
No sooner had these syllables passed my lips, than - as if a shield of brass had indeed, at the moment,
fallen heavily upon a floor of silver - I became aware of a distinct, hollow, metallic, and clangorous, yet
apparently muffled reverberation. Completely unnerved, I leaped to my feet; but the measured rocking
movement of Usher was undisturbed. I rushed to the chair in which he sat. His eyes were bent fixedly
before him, and throughout his whole countenance there reigned a stony rigidity. But, as I placed my
hand upon his shoulder, there came a strong shudder over his whole person; a sickly smile quivered about
his lips; and I saw that he spoke in a low, hurried, and gibbering murmur, as if unconscious of my
presence. Bending closely over him, I at length drank in the hideous import of his words.
"Not hear it? - yes, I hear it, and have heard it. Long - long - long - many minutes, many hours, many days,
have I heard it - yet I dared not - oh, pity me, miserable wretch that I am! - I dared not - I dared not
speak! We have put her living in the tomb! Said I not that my senses were acute? I now tell you that I
heard her first feeble movements in the hollow coffin. I heard them - many, many days ago - yet I dared
not - I dared not speak! And now - to-night - Ethelred - ha! ha! - the breaking of the hermit's door, and the
death-cry of the dragon, and the clangor of the shield! - say, rather, the rending of her coffin, and the
grating of the iron hinges of her prison, and her struggles within the coppered archway of the vault! Oh
whither shall I fly? Will she not be here anon? Is she not hurrying to upbraid me for my haste? Have I not
heard her footstep on the stair? Do I not distinguish that heavy and horrible beating of her heart?
Madman!" - here he sprang furiously to his feet, and shrieked out his syllables, as if in the effort he were
giving up his soul - "Madman! I tell you that she now stands without the door!"
As if in the superhuman energy of his utterance there had been found the potency of a spell - the huge
antique pannels to which the speaker pointed, threw slowly back, upon the instant, their ponderous and
ebony jaws. It was the work of the rushing gust - but then without those doors there did stand the lofty
and enshrouded figure of the lady Madeline of Usher. There was blood upon her white robes, and the
evidence of some bitter struggle upon every portion of her emaciated frame. For a moment she remained
trembling and reeling to and fro upon the threshold - then, with a low moaning cry, fell heavily inward
upon the person of her brother, and in her violent and now final death-agonies, bore him to the floor a
corpse, and a victim to the terrors he had anticipated.
From that chamber, and from that mansion, I fled aghast. The storm was still abroad in all its wrath as I
found myself crossing the old causeway. Suddenly there shot along the path a wild light, and I turned to
see whence a gleam so unusual could have issued; for the vast house and its shadows were alone behind
me. The radiance was that of the full, setting, and blood-red moon, which now shone vividly through that
once barely-discernible fissure, of which I have before spoken as extending from the roof of the building,
in a zigzag direction, to the base. While I gazed, this fissure rapidly widened - there came a fierce breath
of the whirlwind - the entire orb of the satellite burst at once upon my sight - my brain reeled as I saw the
mighty walls rushing asunder - there was a long tumultuous shouting sound like the voice of a thousand
waters - and the deep and dank tarn at my feet closed sullenly and silently over the fragments of the
"House of Usher."
FOUR BEASTS IN ONE: THE HOMO-CAMELEOPARD
ANTIOCHUS EPIPHANES is very generally looked upon as the Gog of the prophet Ezekiel. This honor is,
however, more properly attributable to Cambyses, the son of Cyrus. And, indeed, the character of the
Syrian monarch does by no means stand in need of any adventitious embellishment. His accession to the
throne, or rather his usurpation of the sovereignty, a hundred and seventy-one years before the coming of
Christ; his attempt to plunder the temple of Diana at Ephesus; his implacable hostility to the Jews; his
pollution of the Holy of Holies; and his miserable death at Taba, after a tumultuous reign of eleven years,
are circumstances of a prominent kind, and therefore more generally noticed by the historians of his time
than the impious, dastardly, cruel, silly, and whimsical achievements which make up the sum total of his
private life and reputation.
Let us suppose, gentle reader, that it is now the year of the world three thousand eight hundred and
thirty, and let us, for a few minutes, imagine ourselves at that most grotesque habitation of man, the
remarkable city of Antioch. To be sure there were, in Syria and other countries, sixteen cities of that
appellation, besides the one to which I more particularly allude. But ours is that which went by the name
of Antiochia Epidaphne, from its vicinity to the little village of Daphne, where stood a temple to that
divinity. It was built (although about this matter there is some dispute) by Seleucus Nicanor, the first king
of the country after Alexander the Great, in memory of his father Antiochus, and became immediately the
residence of the Syrian monarchy. In the flourishing times of the Roman Empire, it was the ordinary
station of the prefect of the eastern provinces; and many of the emperors of the queen city (among whom
may be mentioned, especially, Verus and Valens) spent here the greater part of their time. But I perceive
we have arrived at the city itself. Let us ascend this battlement, and throw our eyes upon the town and
neighboring country.
"What broad and rapid river is that which forces its way, with innumerable falls, through the mountainous
wilderness, and finally through the wilderness of buildings?"
That is the Orontes, and it is the only water in sight, with the exception of the Mediterranean, which
stretches, like a broad mirror, about twelve miles off to the southward. Every one has seen the
Mediterranean; but let me tell you, there are few who have had a peep at Antioch. By few, I mean, few
who, like you and me, have had, at the same time, the advantages of a modern education. Therefore cease
to regard that sea, and give your whole attention to the mass of houses that lie beneath us. You will
remember that it is now the year of the world three thousand eight hundred and thirty. Were it later -- for
example, were it the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and forty-five, we should be deprived of this
extraordinary spectacle. In the nineteenth century Antioch is -- that is to say, Antioch will be -- in a
lamentable state of decay. It will have been, by that time, totally destroyed, at three different periods, by
three successive earthquakes. Indeed, to say the truth, what little of its former self may then remain, will
be found in so desolate and ruinous a state that the patriarch shall have removed his residence to
Damascus. This is well. I see you profit by my advice, and are making the most of your time in inspecting
the premises -- in
I beg pardon; I had forgotten that Shakespeare will not flourish for seventeen hundred and fifty years to
come. But does not the appearance of Epidaphne justify me in calling it grotesque?
"It is well fortified; and in this respect is as much indebted to nature as to art."
Very true.
There are.
"And the numerous temples, sumptuous and magnificent, may bear comparison with the most lauded of
antiquity."
All this I must acknowledge. Still there is an infinity of mud huts, and abominable hovels. We cannot help
perceiving abundance of filth in every kennel, and, were it not for the over-powering fumes of idolatrous
incense, I have no doubt we should find a most intolerable stench. Did you ever behold streets so
insufferably narrow, or houses so miraculously tall? What gloom their shadows cast upon the ground! It is
well the swinging lamps in those endless colonnades are kept burning throughout the day; we should
otherwise have the darkness of Egypt in the time of her desolation.
"It is certainly a strange place! What is the meaning of yonder singular building? See! it towers above all
others, and lies to the eastward of what I take to be the royal palace."
That is the new Temple of the Sun, who is adored in Syria under the title of Elah Gabalah. Hereafter a
very notorious Roman Emperor will institute this worship in Rome, and thence derive a cognomen,
Heliogabalus. I dare say you would like to take a peep at the divinity of the temple. You need not look up
at the heavens; his Sunship is not there -- at least not the Sunship adored by the Syrians. That deity will
be found in the interior of yonder building. He is worshipped under the figure of a large stone pillar
terminating at the summit in a cone or pyramid, whereby is denoted Fire.
"Hark -- behold! -- who can those ridiculous beings be, half naked, with their faces painted, shouting and
gesticulating to the rabble?"
Some few are mountebanks. Others more particularly belong to the race of philosophers. The greatest
portion, however -- those especially who belabor the populace with clubs -- are the principal courtiers of
the palace, executing as in duty bound, some laudable comicality of the king's.
"But what have we here? Heavens! the town is swarming with wild beasts! How terrible a spectacle! --
how dangerous a peculiarity!"
Terrible, if you please; but not in the least degree dangerous. Each animal if you will take the pains to
observe, is following, very quietly, in the wake of its master. Some few, to be sure, are led with a rope
about the neck, but these are chiefly the lesser or timid species. The lion, the tiger, and the leopard are
entirely without restraint. They have been trained without difficulty to their present profession, and
attend upon their respective owners in the capacity of valets-de-chambre. It is true, there are occasions
when Nature asserts her violated dominions; -- but then the devouring of a man-at-arms, or the throttling
of a consecrated bull, is acircumstance of too little moment to be more than hinted at in Epidaphne.
"But what extraordinary tumult do I hear? Surely this is a loud noise even for Antioch! It argues some
commotion of unusual interest."
Yes -- undoubtedly. The king has ordered some novel spectacle -- some gladiatorial exhibition at the
hippodrome -- or perhaps the massacre of the Scythian prisoners -- or the conflagration of his new palace
-- or the tearing down of a handsome temple -- or, indeed, a bonfire of a few Jews. The uproar increases.
Shouts of laughter ascend the skies. The air becomes dissonant with wind instruments, and horrible with
clamor of a million throats. Let us descend, for the love of fun, and see what is going on! This way -- be
careful! Here we are in the principal street, which is called the street of Timarchus. The sea of people is
coming this way, and we shall find a difficulty in stemming the tide. They are pouring through the alley of
Heraclides, which leads directly from the palace; -- therefore the king is most probably among the rioters.
Yes; -- I hear the shouts of the herald proclaiming his approach in the pompous phraseology of the East.
We shall have a glimpse of his person as he passes by the temple of Ashimah. Let us ensconce ourselves
in the vestibule of the sanctuary; he will be here anon. In the meantime let us survey this image. What is
it? Oh! it is the god Ashimah in proper person. You perceive, however, that he is neither a lamb, nor a
goat, nor a satyr, neither has he much resemblance to the Pan of the Arcadians. Yet all these appearances
have been given -- I beg pardon -- will be given -- by the learned of future ages, to the Ashimah of the
Syrians. Put on your spectacles, and tell me what it is. What is it?
True -- a baboon; but by no means the less a deity. His name is a derivation of the Greek Simia -- what
great fools are antiquarians! But see! -- see! -- yonder scampers a ragged little urchin. Where is he going?
What is he bawling about? What does he say? Oh! he says the king is coming in triumph; that he is
dressed in state; that he has just finished putting to death, with his own hand, a thousand chained
Israelitish prisoners! For this exploit the ragamuffin is lauding him to the skies. Hark! here comes a troop
of a similar description. They have made a Latin hymn upon the valor of the king, and are singing it as
they go:
Yes: the king is coming! See! the people are aghast with admiration, and lift up their eyes to the heavens
in reverence. He comes; -- he is coming; -- there he is!
"Who? -- where? -- the king? -- do not behold him -- cannot say that I perceive him."
"Very possible. Still I see nothing but a tumultuous mob of idiots and madmen, who are busy in
prostrating themselves before a gigantic cameleopard, and endeavoring to obtain a kiss of the animal's
hoofs. See! the beast has very justly kicked one of the rabble over -- and another -- and another -- and
another. Indeed, I cannot help admiring the animal for the excellent use he is making of his feet."
Rabble, indeed! -- why these are the noble and free citizens of Epidaphne! Beasts, did you say? -- take
care that you are not overheard. Do you not perceive that the animal has the visage of a man? Why, my
dear sir, that cameleopard is no other than Antiochus Epiphanes, Antiochus the Illustrious, King of Syria,
and the most potent of all the autocrats of the East! It is true, that he is entitled, at times, Antiochus
Epimanes -- Antiochus the madman -- but that is because all people have not the capacity to appreciate
his merits. It is also certain that he is at present ensconced in the hide of a beast, and is doing his best to
play the part of a cameleopard; but this is done for the better sustaining his dignity as king. Besides, the
monarch is of gigantic stature, and the dress is therefore neither unbecoming nor over large. We may,
however, presume he would not have adopted it but for some occasion of especial state. Such, you will
allow, is the massacre of a thousand Jews. With how superior a dignity the monarch perambulates on all
fours! His tail, you perceive, is held aloft by his two principal concubines, Elline and Argelais; and his
whole appearance would be infinitely prepossessing, were it not for the protuberance of his eyes, which
will certainly start out of his head, and the queer color of his face, which has become nondescript from
the quantity of wine he has swallowed. Let us follow him to the hippodrome, whither he is proceeding,
and listen to the song of triumph which he is commencing:
Bravo! -- bravo!
No -- there is none:
"But, good Jupiter! what is the matter in the crowd behind us?"
Behind us, did you say? -- oh! ah! -- I perceive. My friend, it is well that you spoke in time. Let us get into
a place of safety as soon as possible. Here! -- let us conceal ourselves in the arch of this aqueduct, and I
will inform you presently of the origin of the commotion. It has turned out as I have been anticipating.
The singular appearance of the cameleopard and the head of a man, has, it seems, given offence to the
notions of propriety entertained, in general, by the wild animals domesticated in the city. A mutiny has
been the result; and, as is usual upon such occasions, all human efforts will be of no avail in quelling the
mob. Several of the Syrians have already been devoured; but the general voice of the four-footed patriots
seems to be for eating up the cameleopard. 'The Prince of Poets,' therefore, is upon his hinder legs,
running for his life. His courtiers have left him in the lurch, and his concubines have followed so excellent
an example. 'Delight of the Universe,' thou art in a sad predicament! 'Glory of the East,' thou art in
danger of mastication! Therefore never regard so piteously thy tail; it will undoubtedly be draggled in the
mud, and for this there is no help. Look not behind thee, then, at its unavoidable degradation; but take
courage, ply thy legs with vigor, and scud for the hippodrome! Remember that thou art Antiochus
Epiphanes. Antiochus theIllustrious! -- also 'Prince of Poets,' 'Glory of the East,' 'Delight of the Universe,'
and 'Most Remarkable of Cameleopards!' Heavens! what a power of speed thou art displaying! What a
capacity for leg-bail thou art developing! Run, Prince! -- Bravo, Epiphanes! Well done, Cameleopard! --
Glorious Antiochus! -- He runs! -- he leaps! -- he flies! Like an arrow from a catapult he approaches the
hippodrome! He leaps! -- he shrieks! -- he is there! This is well; for hadst thou, 'Glory of the East,' been
half a second longer in reaching the gates of the Amphitheatre, there is not a bear's cub in Epidaphne
that would not have had a nibble at thy carcase. Let us be off -- let us take our departure! -- for we shall
find our delicate modern ears unable to endure the vast uproar which is about to commence in
celebration of the king's escape! Listen! it has already commenced. See! -- the whole town is topsy-turvy.
"Surely this is the most populous city of the East! What a wilderness of people! what a jumble of all ranks
and ages! what a multiplicity of sects and nations! what a variety of costumes! what a Babel of languages!
what a screaming of beasts! what a tinkling ofinstruments! what a parcel of philosophers!"
"Stay a moment! I see a vast hubbub in the hippodrome; what is the meaning of it, I beseech you?"
That? -- oh, nothing! The noble and free citizens of Epidaphne being, as they declare, well satisfied of the
faith, valor, wisdom, and divinity of their king, and having, moreover, been eye-witnesses of his late
superhuman agility, do think it no more than their duty to invest his brows (in addition to the poetic
crown) with the wreath of victory in the footrace -- a wreath which it is evident he must obtain at the
celebration of the next Olympiad, and which, therefore, they now give him in advance.
{*1} Flavius Vospicus says, that the hymn here introduced was sung by the rabble upon the occasion of
Aurelian, in the Sarmatic war, having slain, with his own hand, nine hundred and fifty of the enemy.
THE GOLD-BUG
What ho! what ho! this fellow is dancing mad! He hath been bitten by the Tarantula. --All in the Wrong.
MANY years ago, I contracted an intimacy with a Mr. William Legrand. He was of an ancient Huguenot
family, and had once been wealthy; but a series of misfortunes had reduced him to want. To avoid the
mortification consequent upon his disasters, he left New Orleans, the city of his forefathers, and took up
his residence at Sullivan's Island, near Charleston, South Carolina. This Island is a very singular one. It
consists of little else than the sea sand, and is about three miles long. Its breadth at no point exceeds a
quarter of a mile. It is separated from the main land by a scarcely perceptible creek, oozing its way
through a wilderness of reeds and slime, a favorite resort of the marsh hen. The vegetation, as might be
supposed, is scant, or at least dwarfish. No trees of any magnitude are to be seen. Near the western
extremity, where Fort Moultrie stands, and where are some miserable frame buildings, tenanted, during
summer, by the fugitives from Charleston dust and fever, may be found, indeed, the bristly palmetto; but
the whole island, with the exception of this western point, and a line of hard, white beach on the seacoast,
is covered with a dense undergrowth of the sweet myrtle, so much prized by the horticulturists of
England. The shrub here often attains the height of fifteen or twenty feet, and forms an almost
impenetrable coppice, burthening the air with its fragrance.
In the inmost recesses of this coppice, not far from the eastern or more remote end of the island, Legrand
had built himself a small hut, which he occupied when I first, by mere accident, made his acquaintance.
This soon ripened into friendship - for there was much in the recluse to excite interest and esteem. I
found him well educated, with unusual powers of mind, but infected with misanthropy, and subject to
perverse moods of alternate enthusiasm and melancholy. He had with him many books, but rarely
employed them. His chief amusements were gunning and fishing, or sauntering along the beach and
through the myrtles, in quest of shells or entomological specimens; - his collection of the latter might
have been envied by a Swammerdamm. In these excursions he was usually accompanied by an old negro,
called Jupiter, who had been manumitted before the reverses of the family, but who could be induced,
neither by threats nor by promises, to abandon what he considered his right of attendance upon the
footsteps of his young "Massa Will." It is not improbable that the relatives of Legrand, conceiving him to
be somewhat unsettled in intellect, had contrived to instil this obstinacy into Jupiter, with a view to the
supervision and guardianship of the wanderer.
The winters in the latitude of Sullivan's Island are seldom very severe, and in the fall of the year it is a
rare event indeed when a fire is considered necessary. About the middle of October, 18-, there occurred,
however, a day of remarkable chilliness. Just before sunset I scrambled my way through the evergreens to
the hut of my friend, whom I had not visited for several weeks - my residence being, at that time, in
Charleston, a distance of nine miles from the Island, while the facilities of passage and re-passage were
very far behind those of the present day. Upon reaching the hut I rapped, as was my custom, and getting
no reply, sought for the key where I knew it was secreted, unlocked the door and went in. A fine fire was
blazing upon the hearth. It was a novelty, and by no means an ungrateful one. I threw off an overcoat,
took an arm-chair by the cracklinglogs, and awaited patiently the arrival of my hosts.
Soon after dark they arrived, and gave me a most cordial welcome. Jupiter, grinning from ear to ear,
bustled about to prepare some marsh-hens for supper. Legrand was in one of his fits - how else shall I
term them? - of enthusiasm. He had found an unknown bivalve, forming a new genus, and, more than this,
he had hunted down and secured, with Jupiter's assistance, a scarabaeus which he believed to be totally
new, but in respect to which he wished to have my opinion on the morrow.
"And why not to-night?" I asked, rubbing my hands over the blaze, and wishing the whole tribe of
scarabaei at the devil.
"Ah, if I had only known you were here!" said Legrand, "but it's so long since I saw you; and how could I
foresee that you would pay me a visit this very night of all others? As I was coming home I met Lieutenant
G--, from the fort, and, very foolishly, I lent him the bug; so it will be impossible for you to see it until the
morning. Stay here to-night, and I will send Jup down for it at sunrise. It is the loveliest thing in creation!"
"What? - sunrise?"
"Nonsense! no! - the bug. It is of a brilliant gold color - about the size of a large hickory-nut - with two jet
black spots near one extremity of the back, and another, somewhat longer, at the other. The antennae are
- "
"Dey aint no tin in him, Massa Will, I keep a tellin on you," here interrupted Jupiter; "de bug is a goole
bug, solid, ebery bit of him, inside and all, sep him wing - neber feel half so hebby a bug in my life."
"Well, suppose it is, Jup," replied Legrand, somewhat more earnestly, it seemed to me, than the case
demanded, "is that any reason for your letting the birds burn? The color" - here he turned to me - "is
really almost enough to warrant Jupiter's idea. You never saw a more brilliant metallic lustre than the
scales emit - but of this you cannot judge till tomorrow. In the mean time I can give you some idea of the
shape." Saying this, he seated himself at a small table, on which were a pen and ink, but no paper. He
looked for some in a drawer, but found none.
"Never mind," said he at length, "this will answer;" and he drew from his waistcoat pocket a scrap of what
I took to be very dirty foolscap, and made upon it a rough drawing with the pen. While he did this, I
retained my seat by the fire, for I was still chilly. When the design was complete, he handed it to me
without rising. As I received it, a loud growl was heard, succeeded by a scratching at the door. Jupiter
opened it, and a large Newfoundland, belonging to Legrand, rushed in, leaped upon my shoulders, and
loaded me with caresses; for I had shown him much attention during previous visits. When his gambols
were over, I looked at the paper, and, to speak the truth, found myself not a little puzzled at what my
friend had depicted.
"Well!" I said, after contemplating it for some minutes, "this is a strange scarabaeus, I must confess: new
to me: never saw anything like it before - unless it was a skull, or a death's-head - which it more nearly
resembles than anything else that has come under my observation."
"A death's-head!" echoed Legrand -"Oh - yes - well, it has something of that appearance upon paper, no
doubt. The two upper black spots look like eyes, eh? and the longer one at the bottom like a mouth - and
then the shape of the whole is oval."
"Perhaps so," said I; "but, Legrand, I fear you are no artist. I must wait until I see the beetle itself, if I am
to form any idea of its personal appearance."
"Well, I don't know," said he, a little nettled, "I draw tolerably - should do it at least - have had good
masters, and flatter myself that I am not quite a blockhead."
"But, my dear fellow, you are joking then," said I, "this is a very passable skull - indeed, I may say that it is
a very excellent skull, according to the vulgar notions about such specimens of physiology - and your
scarabaeus must be the queerest scarabaeus in the world if it resembles it. Why, we may get up a very
thrilling bit of superstition upon this hint. I presume you will call the bug scarabaeus caput hominis, or
something of that kind - there are many similar titles in the Natural Histories. But where are the antennae
you spoke of?"
"The antennae!" said Legrand, who seemed to be gettingunaccountably warm upon the subject; "I am
sure you must see the antennae. I made them as distinct as they are in the original insect, and I presume
that is sufficient."
"Well, well," I said, "perhaps you have - still I don't see them;" and I handed him the paper without
additional remark, not wishing to ruffle his temper; but I was much surprised at the turn affairs had
taken; his ill humor puzzled me - and, as for the drawing of the beetle, there were positively no antennae
visible, and the whole did bear a very close resemblance to the ordinary cuts of a death's-head.
He received the paper very peevishly, and was about to crumple it, apparently to throw it in the fire, when
a casual glance at the design seemed suddenly to rivet his attention. In an instant his face grew violently
red - in another as excessively pale. For some minutes he continued to scrutinize the drawing minutely
where he sat. At length he arose, took a candle from the table, and proceeded to seat himself upon a sea-
chest in the farthest corner of the room. Here again he made an anxious examination of the paper;
turning it in all directions. He said nothing, however, and his conduct greatly astonished me; yet I thought
it prudent not to exacerbate the growing moodiness of his temper by any comment. Presently he took
from his coat pocket a wallet, placed the paper carefully in it, and deposited both in a writing-desk, which
he locked. He now grew more composed in his demeanor; but his original air of enthusiasm had quite
disappeared. Yet he seemed not so much sulky as abstracted. As the evening wore away he became more
and more absorbed in reverie, from which no sallies of mine could arouse him. It had been my intention to
pass the night at the hut, as I had frequently done before, but, seeing my host in this mood, I deemed it
proper to take leave. He did not press me to remain, but, as I departed, he shook my hand with even more
than his usual cordiality.
It was about a month after this (and during the interval I had seen nothing of Legrand) when I received a
visit, at Charleston, from his man, Jupiter. I had never seen the good old negro look so dispirited, and I
feared that some serious disaster had befallen my friend.
"Well, Jup," said I, "what is the matter now? - how is your master?"
"Why, to speak de troof, massa, him not so berry well as mought be."
"Not well! I am truly sorry to hear it. What does he complain of?"
"Dar! dat's it! - him neber plain of notin - but him berry sick for all dat."
"Very sick, Jupiter! - why didn't you say so at once? Is he confined to bed?"
"No, dat he aint! - he aint find nowhar - dat's just whar de shoe pinch - my mind is got to be berry hebby
bout poor Massa Will."
"Jupiter, I should like to understand what it is you are talking about. You say your master is sick. Hasn't he
told you what ails him?"
"Why, massa, taint worf while for to git mad about de matter - Massa Will say noffin at all aint de matter
wid him - but den what make him go about looking dis here way, wid he head down and he soldiers up,
and as white as a gose? And den he keep a syphon all de time - "
"Keeps a syphon wid de figgurs on de slate - de queerest figgurs I ebber did see. Ise gittin to be skeered, I
tell you. Hab for to keep mighty tight eye pon him noovers. Todder day he gib me slip fore de sun up and
was gone de whole ob de blessed day. I had a big stick ready cut for to gib him deuced good beating when
he did come - but Ise sich a fool dat I hadn't de heart arter all - he look so berry poorly."
"Eh? - what? - ah yes! - upon the whole I think you had better not be too severe with the poor fellow -
don't flog him, Jupiter - he can't very well stand it - but can you form no idea of what has occasioned this
illness, or rather this change of conduct? Has anything unpleasant happened since I saw you?"
"No, massa, dey aint bin noffin unpleasant since den - 'twas fore den I'm feared - 'twas de berry day you
was dare."
"The what?"
"De bug, - I'm berry sartain dat Massa Will bin bit somewhere bout de head by dat goole-bug."
"Claws enuff, massa, and mouth too. I nebber did see sick a deuced bug - he kick and he bite ebery ting
what cum near him. Massa Will cotch him fuss, but had for to let him go gin mighty quick, I tell you - den
was de time he must ha got de bite. I did n't like de look oh de bug mouff, myself, no how, so I would n't
take hold ob him wid my finger, but I cotch him wid a piece ob paper dat I found. I rap him up in de paper
and stuff piece ob it in he mouff - dat was de way."
"And you think, then, that your master was really bitten by the beetle, and that the bite made him sick?"
"I do n't tink noffin about it - I nose it. What make him dream bout de goole so much, if taint cause he bit
by de goole-bug? Ise heerd bout dem goole-bugs fore dis."
"How I know? why cause he talk about it in he sleep - dat's how I nose."
"Well, Jup, perhaps you are right; but to what fortunate circumstance am I to attribute the honor of a visit
from you to-day?"
"No, massa, I bring dis here pissel;" and here Jupiter handed me a note which ran thus:
MY DEAR --
Why have I not seen you for so long a time? I hope you have not been so foolish as to take offence at any
little brusquerie of mine; but no, that is improbable. Since I saw you I have had great cause for anxiety. I
have something to tell you, yet scarcely know how to tell it, or whether I should tell it at all.
I have not been quite well for some days past, and poor old Jup annoys me, almost beyond endurance, by
his well-meant attentions Would you believe it? - he had prepared a huge stick, the other day, with which
to chastise me for giving him the slip, and spending the day, solus , among the hills on the main land. I
verily believe that my ill looks alone saved me a flogging.
If you can, in any way, make it convenient, come over with Jupiter. Do come. I wish to see you to- night ,
upon business of importance. I assure you that it is of the highest importance.
There was something in the tone of this note which gave me great uneasiness. Its whole style differed
materially from that of Legrand. What could he be dreaming of? What new crotchet possessed his
excitable brain? What "business of the highest importance" could he possibly have to transact? Jupiter's
account of him boded no good. I dreaded lest the continued pressure of misfortune had, at length, fairly
unsettled the reason of my friend. Without a moment's hesitation, therefore, I prepared to accompany the
negro.
Upon reaching the wharf, I noticed a scythe and three spades, all apparently new, lying in the bottom of
the boat in which we were to embark.
"Him de syfe and de spade what Massa Will sis pon my buying for him in de town, and de debbils own lot
of money I had to gib for em."
"But what, in the name of all that is mysterious, is your 'Massa Will' going to do with scythes and spades?"
"Dat's more dan I know, and debbil take me if I don't blieve 'tis more dan he know, too. But it's all cum ob
do bug."
Finding that no satisfaction was to be obtained of Jupiter, whose whole intellect seemed to be absorbed by
"de bug," I now stepped into the boat and made sail. With a fair and strong breeze we soon ran into the
little cove to the northward of Fort Moultrie, and a walk of some two miles brought us to the hut. It was
about three in the afternoon when we arrived. Legrand had been awaiting us in eager expectation. He
grasped my hand with a nervous empressement which alarmed me and strengthened the suspicions
already entertained. His countenance was pale even to ghastliness, and his deep-set eyes glared with
unnatural lustre. After some inquiries respecting his health, I asked him, not knowing what better to say,
if he had yet obtained the scarabaeus from Lieutenant G --.
"Oh, yes," he replied, coloring violently, "I got it from him the next morning. Nothing should tempt me to
part with that scarabaeus. Do you know that Jupiter is quite right about it?"
"In supposing it to be a bug of real gold." He said this with an air of profound seriousness, and I felt
inexpressibly shocked.
"This bug is to make my fortune," he continued, with a triumphant smile, "to reinstate me in my family
possessions. Is it any wonder, then, that I prize it? Since Fortune has thought fit to bestow it upon me, I
have only to use it properly and I shall arrive at the gold of which it is the index. Jupiter; bring me that
scarabaeus!"
"What! de bug, massa? I'd rudder not go fer trubble dat bug - you mus git him for your own self."
Hereupon Legrand arose, with a grave and stately air, and brought me the beetle from a glass case in
which it was enclosed. It was a beautiful scarabaeus, and, at that time, unknown to naturalists - of course
a great prize in a scientific point of view. There were two round, black spots near one extremity of the
back, and a long one near the other. The scales were exceedingly hard and glossy, with all the appearance
of burnished gold. The weight of the insect was very remarkable, and, taking all things into consideration,
I could hardly blame Jupiter for his opinion respecting it; but what to make of Legrand's concordance with
that opinion, I could not, for the life of me, tell.
"I sent for you," said he, in a grandiloquent tone, when I had completed my examination of the beetle, "I
sent for you, that I might have your counsel and assistance in furthering the views of Fate and of the bug"
-
"My dear Legrand," I cried, interrupting him, "you are certainly unwell, and had better use some little
precautions. You shall go to bed, and I will remain with you a few days, until you get over this. You are
feverish and" -
I felt it, and, to say the truth, found not the slightest indication of fever.
"But you may be ill and yet have no fever. Allow me this once to prescribe for you. In the first place, go to
bed. In the next" -
"You are mistaken," he interposed, "I am as well as I can expect to be under the excitement which I suffer.
If you really wish me well, you will relieve this excitement."
"Very easily. Jupiter and myself are going upon an expedition into the hills, upon the main land, and, in
this expedition we shall need the aid of some person in whom we can confide. You are the only one we can
trust. Whether we succeed or fail, the excitement which you now perceive in me will be equally allayed."
"I am anxious to oblige you in any way," I replied; "but do you mean to say that this infernal beetle has
any connection with your expedition into the hills?"
"It has."
"Try it by yourselves! The man is surely mad! - but stay! - how long do you propose to be absent?"
"Probably all night. We shall start immediately, and be back, at all events, by sunrise."
"And will you promise me, upon your honor, that when this freak of yours is over, and the bug business
(good God!) settled to your satisfaction, you will then return home and follow my advice implicitly, as that
of your physician?"
"Yes; I promise; and now let us be off, for we have no time to lose."
With a heavy heart I accompanied my friend. We started about four o'clock - Legrand, Jupiter, the dog,
and myself. Jupiter had with him the scythe and spades - the whole of which he insisted upon carrying -
more through fear, it seemed to me, of trusting either of the implements within reach of his master, than
from any excess of industry or complaisance. His demeanor was dogged in the extreme, and "dat deuced
bug" were the sole words which escaped his lips during the journey. For my own part, I had charge of a
couple of dark lanterns, while Legrand contented himself with the scarabaeus, which he carried attached
to the end of a bit of whip-cord; twirling it to and fro, with the air of a conjuror, as he went. When I
observed this last, plain evidence of my friend's aberration of mind, I could scarcely refrain from tears. I
thought it best, however, to humor his fancy, at least for the present, or until I could adopt some more
energetic measures with a chance of success. In the mean time I endeavored, but all in vain, to sound him
in regard to the object of the expedition. Having succeeded in inducing me to accompany him, he seemed
unwilling to hold conversation upon any topic of minor importance, and to all my questions vouchsafed no
other reply than "we shall see!"
We crossed the creek at the head of the island by means of a skiff; and, ascending the high grounds on
the shore of the main land, proceeded in a northwesterly direction, through a tract of country excessively
wild and desolate, where no trace of a human footstep was to be seen. Legrand led the way with decision;
pausing only for an instant, here and there, to consult what appeared to be certain landmarks of his own
contrivance upon a former occasion.
In this manner we journeyed for about two hours, and the sun was just setting when we entered a region
infinitely more dreary than any yet seen. It was a species of table land, near the summit of an almost
inaccessible hill, densely wooded from base to pinnacle, and interspersed with huge crags that appeared
to lie loosely upon the soil, and in many cases were prevented from precipitating themselves into the
valleys below, merely by the support of the trees against which they reclined. Deep ravines, in various
directions, gave an air of still sterner solemnity to the scene.
The natural platform to which we had clambered was thickly overgrown with brambles, through which we
soon discovered that it would have been impossible to force our way but for the scythe; and Jupiter, by
direction of his master, proceeded to clear for us a path to the foot of an enormously tall tulip-tree, which
stood, with some eight or ten oaks, upon the level, and far surpassed them all, and all other trees which I
had then ever seen, in the beauty of its foliage and form, in the wide spread of its branches, and in the
general majesty of its appearance. When we reached this tree, Legrand turned to Jupiter, and asked him if
he thought he could climb it. The old man seemed a little staggered by the question, and for some
moments made no reply. At length he approached the huge trunk, walked slowly around it, and examined
it with minute attention. When he had completed his scrutiny, he merely said,
"Then up with you as soon as possible, for it will soon be too dark to see what we are about."
"How far mus go up, massa?" inquired Jupiter.
"Get up the main trunk first, and then I will tell you which way to go - and here - stop! take this beetle
with you."
"De bug, Massa Will! - de goole bug!" cried the negro, drawing back in dismay - "what for mus tote de bug
way up de tree? - d-n if I do!"
"If you are afraid, Jup, a great big negro like you, to take hold of a harmless little dead beetle, why you
can carry it up by this string - but, if you do not take it up with you in some way, I shall be under the
necessity of breaking your head with this shovel."
"What de matter now, massa?" said Jup, evidently shamed into compliance; "always want for to raise fuss
wid old nigger. Was only funnin any how. Me feered de bug! what I keer for de bug?" Here he took
cautiously hold of the extreme end of the string, and, maintaining the insect as far from his person as
circumstances would permit, prepared to ascend the tree.
In youth, the tulip-tree, or Liriodendron Tulipferum, the most magnificent of American foresters, has a
trunk peculiarly smooth, and often rises to a great height without lateral branches; but, in its riper age,
the bark becomes gnarled and uneven, while many short limbs make their appearance on the stem. Thus
the difficulty of ascension, in the present case, lay more in semblance than in reality. Embracing the huge
cylinder, as closely as possible, with his arms and knees, seizing with his hands some projections, and
resting his naked toes upon others, Jupiter, after one or two narrow escapes from falling, at length
wriggled himself into the first great fork, and seemed to consider the whole business as virtually
accomplished. The risk of the achievement was, in fact, now over, although the climber was some sixty or
seventy feet from the ground.
"Keep up the largest branch - the one on this side," said Legrand. The negro obeyed him promptly, and
apparently with but little trouble; ascending higher and higher, until no glimpse of his squat figure could
be obtained through the dense foliage which enveloped it. Presently his voice was heard in a sort of
halloo.
"Ebber so fur," replied the negro; "can see de sky fru de top ob de tree."
"Never mind the sky, but attend to what I say. Look down the trunk and count the limbs below you on this
side. How many limbs have you passed?"
"One, two, tree, four, fibe - I done pass fibe big limb, massa, pon dis side."
In a few minutes the voice was heard again, announcing that the seventh limb was attained.
"Now, Jup," cried Legrand, evidently much excited, "I want you to work your way out upon that limb as far
as you can. If you see anything strange, let me know." By this time what little doubt I might have
entertained of my poor friend's insanity, was put finally at rest. I had no alternative but to conclude him
stricken with lunacy, and I became seriously anxious about getting him home. While I was pondering upon
what was best to be done, Jupiter's voice was again heard.
"Mos feerd for to ventur pon dis limb berry far - tis dead limb putty much all de way."
"Did you say it was a dead limb, Jupiter?" cried Legrand in a quavering voice.
"Yes, massa, him dead as de door-nail - done up for sartain - done departed dis here life."
"What in the name heaven shall I do?" asked Legrand, seemingly in the greatest distress. "Do!" said I,
glad of an opportunity to interpose a word, "why come home and go to bed. Come now! - that's a fine
fellow. It's getting late, and, besides, you remember your promise."
"Jupiter," cried he, without heeding me in the least, "do you hear me?"
"Try the wood well, then, with your knife, and see if you think it very rotten."
"Him rotten, massa, sure nuff," replied the negro in a few moments, "but not so berry rotten as mought
be. Mought ventur out leetle way pon de limb by myself, dat's true."
"Why I mean de bug. 'Tis berry hebby bug. Spose I drop him down fuss, and den de limb won't break wid
just de weight ob one nigger."
"You infernal scoundrel!" cried Legrand, apparently much relieved, "what do you mean by telling me such
nonsense as that? As sure as you drop that beetle I'll break your neck. Look here, Jupiter, do you hear
me?"
"Well! now listen! - if you will venture out on the limb as far as you think safe, and not let go the beetle,
I'll make you a present of a silver dollar as soon as you get down."
"I'm gwine, Massa Will - deed I is," replied the negro very promptly - "mos out to the eend now."
"Out to the end!" here fairly screamed Legrand, "do you say you are out to the end of that limb?"
"Soon be to de eend, massa, - o-o-o-o-oh! Lor-gol-a-marcy! what is dis here pon de tree?"
"Why taint noffin but a skull - somebody bin lef him head up de tree, and de crows done gobble ebery bit
ob de meat off."
"A skull, you say! - very well! - how is it fastened to the limb? - what holds it on?"
"Sure nuff, massa; mus look. Why dis berry curous sarcumstance, pon my word - dare's a great big nail in
de skull, what fastens ob it on to de tree."
"Yes, massa."
"Hum! hoo! dat's good! why dare aint no eye lef at all."
"Curse your stupidity! do you know your right hand from your left?"
"Yes, I nose dat - nose all bout dat - tis my lef hand what I chops de wood wid."
"To be sure! you are left-handed; and your left. eye is on the same side as your left hand. Now, I suppose,
you can find the left eye of the skull, or the place where the left eye has been. Have you found it?"
"Is de lef eye of de skull pon de same side as de lef hand of de skull, too? - cause de skull aint got not a bit
ob a hand at all - nebber mind! I got de lef eye now - here de lef eye! what mus do wid it?"
"Let the beetle drop through it, as far as the string will reach - but he careful and not let go your hold of
the string."
"All dat done, Massa Will; mighty easy ting for to put de bug fru de hole - look out for him dare below!"
During this colloquy no portion of Jupiter's person could be seen; but the beetle, which he had suffered to
descend, was now visible at the end of the string, and glistened, like a globe of burnished gold, in the last
rays of the setting sun, some of which still faintly illumined the eminence upon which we stood. The
scarabaeus hung quite clear of any branches, and, if allowed to fall, would have fallen at our feet.
Legrand immediately took the scythe, and cleared with it a circular space, three or four yards in diameter,
just beneath the insect, and, having accomplished this, ordered Jupiter to let go the string and come down
from the tree.
Driving a peg, with great nicety, into the ground, at the precise spot where the beetle fell, my friend now
produced from his pocket a tape measure. Fastening one end of this at that point of the trunk, of the tree
which was nearest the peg, he unrolled it till it reached the peg, and thence farther unrolled it, in the
direction already established by the two points of the tree and the peg, for the distance of fifty feet -
Jupiter clearing away the brambles with the scythe. At the spot thus attained a second peg was driven,
and about this, as a centre, a rude circle, about four feet in diameter, described. Taking now a spade
himself, and giving one to Jupiter and one to me, Legrand begged us to set about digging as quickly as
possible.
To speak the truth, I had no especial relish for such amusement at any time, and, at that particular
moment, would most willingly have declined it; for the night was coming on, and I felt much fatigued with
the exercise already taken; but I saw no mode of escape, and was fearful of disturbing my poor friend's
equanimity by a refusal. Could I have depended, indeed, upon Jupiter's aid, I would have had no
hesitation in attempting to get the lunatic home by force; but I was too well assured of the old negro's
disposition, to hope that he would assist me, under any circumstances, in a personal contest with his
master. I made no doubt that the latter had been infected with some of the innumerable Southern
superstitions about money buried, and that his phantasy had received confirmation by the finding of the
scarabaeus, or, perhaps, by Jupiter's obstinacy in maintaining it to be "a bug of real gold." A mind
disposed to lunacy would readily be led away by such suggestions - especially if chiming in with favorite
preconceived ideas - and then I called to mind the poor fellow's speech about the beetle's being "the index
of his fortune." Upon the whole, I was sadly vexed and puzzled, but, at length, I concluded to make a
virtue of necessity - to dig with a good will, and thus the sooner to convince the visionary, by ocular
demonstration, of the fallacy of the opinions he entertained.
The lanterns having been lit, we all fell to work with a zeal worthy a more rational cause; and, as the
glare fell upon our persons and implements, I could not help thinking how picturesque a group we
composed, and how strange and suspicious our labors must have appeared to any interloper who, by
chance, might have stumbled upon our whereabouts.
We dug very steadily for two hours. Little was said; and our chief embarrassment lay in the yelpings of
the dog, who took exceeding interest in our proceedings. He, at length, became so obstreperous that we
grew fearful of his giving the alarm to some stragglers in the vicinity; - or, rather, this was the
apprehension of Legrand; - for myself, I should have rejoiced at any interruption which might have
enabled me to get the wanderer home. The noise was, at length, very effectually silenced by Jupiter, who,
getting out of the hole with a dogged air of deliberation, tied the brute's mouth up with one of his
suspenders, and then returned, with a grave chuckle, to his task.
When the time mentioned had expired, we had reached a depth of five feet, and yet no signs of any
treasure became manifest. A general pause ensued, and I began to hope that the farce was at an end.
Legrand, however, although evidently much disconcerted, wiped his brow thoughtfully and recommenced.
We had excavated the entire circle of four feet diameter, and now we slightly enlarged the limit, and went
to the farther depth of two feet. Still nothing appeared. The gold-seeker, whom I sincerely pitied, at
length clambered from the pit, with the bitterest disappointment imprinted upon every feature, and
proceeded, slowly and reluctantly, to put on his coat, which he had thrown off at the beginning of his
labor. In the mean time I made no remark. Jupiter, at a signal from his master, began to gather up his
tools. This done, and the dog having been unmuzzled, we turned in profound silence towards home.
We had taken, perhaps, a dozen steps in this direction, when, with a loud oath, Legrand strode up to
Jupiter, and seized him by the collar. The astonished negro opened his eyes and mouth to the fullest
extent, let fall the spades, and fell upon his knees.
"You scoundrel," said Legrand, hissing out the syllables from between his clenched teeth - "you infernal
black villain! - speak, I tell you! - answer me this instant, without prevarication! - which - which is your
left eye?"
"Oh, my golly, Massa Will! aint dis here my lef eye for sartain?" roared the terrified Jupiter, placing his
hand upon his right organ of vision, and holding it there with a desperate pertinacity, as if in immediate
dread of his master's attempt at a gouge.
"I thought so! - I knew it! hurrah!" vociferated Legrand, letting the negro go, and executing a series of
curvets and caracols, much to the astonishment of his valet, who, arising from his knees, looked, mutely,
from his master to myself, and then from myself to his master.
"Come! we must go back," said the latter, "the game's not up yet;" and he again led the way to the tulip-
tree.
"Jupiter," said he, when we reached its foot, "come here! was the skull nailed to the limb with the face
outwards, or with the face to the limb?"
"De face was out, massa, so dat de crows could get at de eyes good, widout any trouble."
"Well, then, was it this eye or that through which you dropped the beetle?" - here Legrand touched each
of Jupiter's eyes.
"Twas dis eye, massa - de lef eye - jis as you tell me," and here it was his right eye that the negro
indicated.
Around the new position a circle, somewhat larger than in the former instance, was now described, and
we again set to work with the spades. I was dreadfully weary, but, scarcely understanding what had
occasioned the change in my thoughts, I felt no longer any great aversion from the labor imposed. I had
become most unaccountably interested - nay, even excited. Perhaps there was something, amid all the
extravagant demeanor of Legrand - some air of forethought, or of deliberation, which impressed me. I dug
eagerly, and now and then caught myself actually looking, with something that very much resembled
expectation, for the fancied treasure, the vision of which had demented my unfortunate companion. At a
period when such vagaries of thought most fully possessed me, and when we had been at work perhaps
an hour and a half, we were again interrupted by the violent howlings of the dog. His uneasiness, in the
first instance, had been, evidently, but the result of playfulness or caprice, but he now assumed a bitter
and serious tone. Upon Jupiter's again attempting to muzzle him, he made furious resistance, and, leaping
into the hole, tore up the mould frantically with his claws. In a few seconds he had uncovered a mass of
human bones, forming two complete skeletons, intermingled with several buttons of metal, and what
appeared to be the dust of decayed woollen. One or two strokes of a spade upturned the blade of a large
Spanish knife, and, as we dug farther, three or four loose pieces of gold and silver coin came to light.
At sight of these the joy of Jupiter could scarcely berestrained, but the countenance of his master wore
an air of extreme disappointment He urged us, however, to continue our exertions, and the words were
hardly uttered when I stumbled and fell forward, having caught the toe of my boot in a large ring of iron
that lay half buried in the loose earth.
We now worked in earnest, and never did I pass ten minutes of more intense excitement. During this
interval we had fairly unearthed an oblong chest of wood, which, from its perfect preservation and
wonderful hardness, had plainly been subjected to some mineralizing process - perhaps that of the Bi-
chloride of Mercury. This box was three feet and a half long, three feet broad, and two and a half feet
deep. It was firmly secured by bands of wrought iron, riveted, and forming a kind of open trelliswork over
the whole. On each side of the chest, near the top, were three rings of iron - six in all - by means of which
a firm hold could be obtained by six persons. Our utmost united endeavors served only to disturb the
coffer very slightly in its bed. We at once saw the impossibility of removing so great a weight. Luckily, the
sole fastenings of the lid consisted of two sliding bolts. These we drew back - trembling and panting with
anxiety. In an instant, a treasure of incalculable value lay gleaming before us. As the rays of the lanterns
fell within the pit, there flashed upwards a glow and a glare, from a confused heap of gold and of jewels,
that absolutely dazzled our eyes.
I shall not pretend to describe the feelings with which I gazed. Amazement was, of course, predominant.
Legrand appeared exhausted with excitement, and spoke very few words. Jupiter'scountenance wore, for
some minutes, as deadly a pallor as it is possible, in nature of things, for any negro's visage to assume. He
seemed stupified - thunderstricken. Presently he fell upon his knees in the pit, and, burying his naked
arms up to the elbows in gold, let them there remain, as if enjoying the luxury of a bath. At length, with a
deep sigh, he exclaimed, as if in a soliloquy,
"And dis all cum ob de goole-bug! de putty goole bug! de poor little goole-bug, what I boosed in dat
sabage kind ob style! Aint you shamed ob yourself, nigger? - answer me dat!"
It became necessary, at last, that I should arouse both master and valet to the expediency of removing the
treasure. It was growing late, and it behooved us to make exertion, that we might get every thing housed
before daylight. It was difficult to say what should be done, and much time was spent in deliberation - so
confused were the ideas of all. We, finally, lightened the box by removing two thirds of its contents, when
we were enabled, with some trouble, to raise it from the hole. The articles taken out were deposited
among the brambles, and the dog left to guard them, with strict orders from Jupiter neither, upon any
pretence, to stir from the spot, nor to open his mouth until our return. We then hurriedly made for home
with the chest; reaching the hut in safety, but after excessive toil, at one o'clock in the morning. Worn out
as we were, it was not in human nature to do more immediately. We rested until two, and had supper;
starting for the hills immediately afterwards, armed with three stout sacks, which, by good luck, were
upon the premises. A little before four we arrived at the pit, divided the remainder of the booty, as equally
as might be, among us, and, leaving the holes unfilled, again set out for the hut, at which, for the second
time, we deposited our golden burthens, just as the first faint streaks of the dawn gleamed from over the
tree-tops in the East.
We were now thoroughly broken down; but the intense excitement of the time denied us repose. After an
unquiet slumber of some three or four hours' duration, we arose, as if by preconcert, to make examination
of our treasure.
The chest had been full to the brim, and we spent the whole day, and the greater part of the next night, in
a scrutiny of its contents. There had been nothing like order or arrangement. Every thing had been
heaped in promiscuously. Having assorted all with care, we found ourselves possessed of even vaster
wealth than we had at first supposed. In coin there was rather more than four hundred and fifty thousand
dollars - estimating the value of the pieces, as accurately as we could, by the tables of the period. There
was not a particle of silver. All was gold of antique date and of great variety - French, Spanish, and
German money, with a few English guineas, and some counters, of which we had never seen specimens
before. There were several very large and heavy coins, so worn that we could make nothing of their
inscriptions. There was no American money. The value of the jewels we found more difficulty in
estimating. There were diamonds - some of them exceedingly large and fine - a hundred and ten in all,
and not one of them small; eighteen rubies of remarkable brilliancy; - three hundred and ten emeralds, all
very beautiful; and twenty-one sapphires, with an opal. These stones had all been broken from their
settings and thrown loose in the chest. The settings themselves, which we picked out from among the
other gold, appeared to have been beaten up with hammers, as if to prevent identification. Besides all
this, there was a vast quantity of solid gold ornaments; - nearly two hundred massive finger and earrings;
- rich chains - thirty of these, if I remember; - eighty-three very large and heavy crucifixes; - five gold
censers of great value; - a prodigious golden punch bowl, ornamented with richly chased vine-leaves and
Bacchanalian figures; with two sword-handles exquisitely embossed, and many other smaller articles
which I cannot recollect. The weight of these valuables exceeded three hundred and fifty pounds
avoirdupois; and in this estimate I have not included one hundred and ninety-seven superb gold watches;
three of the number being worth each five hundred dollars, if one. Many of them were very old, and as
time keepers valueless; the works having suffered, more or less, from corrosion - but all were richly
jewelled and in cases of great worth. We estimated the entire contents of the chest, that night, at a million
and a half of dollars; and upon the subsequent disposal of the trinkets and jewels (a few being retained
for our ownuse), it was found that we had greatly undervalued the treasure. When, at length, we had
concluded our examination, and the intense excitement of the time had, in some measure, subsided,
Legrand, who saw that I was dying with impatience for a solution of this most extraordinary riddle,
entered into a full detail of all the circumstances connected with it.
"You remember;" said he, "the night when I handed you the rough sketch I had made of the scarabaeus.
You recollect also, that I became quite vexed at you for insisting that my drawing resembled a death's-
head. When you first made this assertion I thought you were jesting; but afterwards I called to mind the
peculiar spots on the back of the insect, and admitted to myself that your remark had some little
foundation in fact. Still, the sneer at my graphic powers irritated me - for I am considered a good artist -
and, therefore, when you handed me the scrap of parchment, I was about to crumple it up and throw it
angrily into the fire."
"No; it had much of the appearance of paper, and at first I supposed it to be such, but when I came to
draw upon it, I discovered it, at once, to be a piece of very thin parchment. It was quite dirty, you
remember. Well, as I was in the very act of crumpling it up, my glance fell upon the sketch at which you
had been looking, and you may imagine my astonishment when I perceived, in fact, the figure of a
death's-head just where, it seemed to me, I had made the drawing of the beetle. For a moment I was too
much amazed to think with accuracy. I knew that my design was very different in detail from this -
although there was a certain similarity in general outline. Presently I took a candle, and seating myself at
the other end of the room, proceeded to scrutinize the parchment more closely. Upon turning it over, I
saw my own sketch upon the reverse, just as I had made it. My first idea, now, was mere surprise at the
really remarkable similarity of outline - at the singular coincidence involved in the fact, that unknown to
me, there should have been a skull upon the other side of the parchment, immediately beneath my figure
of the scarabaeus, and that this skull, not only in outline, but in size, should so closely resemble my
drawing. I saythe singularity of this coincidence absolutely stupified me for a time. This is the usual
effect of such coincidences. The mind struggles to establish a connexion - a sequence of cause and effect -
and, being unable to do so, suffers a species of temporary paralysis. But, when I recovered from this
stupor, there dawned upon me gradually a conviction which startled me even far more than the
coincidence. I began distinctly, positively, to remember that there had been no drawing upon the
parchment when I made my sketch of the scarabaeus. I became perfectly certain of this; for I recollected
turning up first one side and then the other, in search of the cleanest spot. Had the skull been then there,
of course I could not have failed to notice it. Here was indeed a mystery which I felt it impossible to
explain; but, even at that early moment, there seemed to glimmer, faintly, within the most remote and
secret chambers of my intellect, a glow-worm-like conception of that truth which last night's adventure
brought to so magnificent a demonstration. I arose at once, and putting the parchment securely away,
dismissed all farther reflection until I should be alone.
"When you had gone, and when Jupiter was fast asleep, I betook myself to a more methodical
investigation of the affair. In the first place I considered the manner in which the parchment had come
into my possession. The spot where we discovered the scarabaeus was on the coast of the main land,
about a mile eastward of the island, and but a short distance above high water mark. Upon my taking
hold of it, it gave me a sharp bite, which caused me to let it drop. Jupiter, with his accustomed caution,
before seizing the insect, which had flown towards him, looked about him for a leaf, or something of that
nature, by which to take hold of it. It was at this moment that his eyes, and mine also, fell upon the scrap
of parchment, which I then supposed to be paper. It was lying half buried in the sand, a corner sticking
up. Near the spot where we found it, I observed the remnants of the hull of what appeared to have been a
ship's long boat. The wreck seemed to have been there for a very great while; for the resemblance to boat
timbers could scarcely be traced.
"Well, Jupiter picked up the parchment, wrapped the beetle in it, and gave it to me. Soon afterwards we
turned to go home, and on the way met Lieutenant G-. I showed him the insect, and he begged me to let
him take it to the fort. Upon my consenting, he thrust it forthwith into his waistcoat pocket, without the
parchment in which it had been wrapped, and which I had continued to hold in my hand during his
inspection. Perhaps he dreaded my changing my mind, and thought it best to make sure of the prize at
once - you know how enthusiastic he is on all subjects connected with Natural History. At the same time,
without being conscious of it, I must have deposited the parchment in my own pocket.
"You remember that when I went to the table, for the purpose of making a sketch of the beetle, I found no
paper where it was usually kept. I looked in the drawer, and found none there. I searched my pockets,
hoping to find an old letter, when my hand fell upon the parchment. I thus detail the precise mode in
which it came into my possession; for the circumstances impressed me with peculiar force.
"No doubt you will think me fanciful - but I had already established a kind of connexion. I had put
together two links of a great chain. There was a boat lying upon a sea-coast, and not far from the boat
was a parchment - not a paper - with a skull depicted upon it. You will, of course, ask 'where is the
connexion?' I reply that the skull, or death's-head, is the well-known emblem of the pirate. The flag of the
death's head is hoisted in all engagements.
"I have said that the scrap was parchment, and not paper. Parchment is durable - almost imperishable.
Matters of little moment are rarely consigned to parchment; since, for the mere ordinary purposes of
drawing or writing, it is not nearly so well adapted as paper. This reflection suggested some meaning -
some relevancy - in the death's-head. I did not fail to observe, also, the form of the parchment. Although
one of its corners had been, by some accident, destroyed, it could be seen that the original form was
oblong. It was just such a slip, indeed, as might have been chosen for a memorandum - for a record of
something to be long remembered and carefully preserved."
"But," I interposed, "you say that the skull was not upon the parchment when you made the drawing of
the beetle. How then do you trace any connexion between the boat and the skull - since this latter,
according to your own admission, must have been designed (God only knows how or by whom) at some
period subsequent to your sketching the scarabaeus?"
"Ah, hereupon turns the whole mystery; although the secret, at this point, I had comparatively little
difficulty in solving. My steps were sure, and could afford but a single result. I reasoned, for example,
thus: When I drew the scarabaeus, there was no skull apparent upon the parchment. When I had
completed the drawing I gave it to you, and observed you narrowly until you returned it. You, therefore,
did not design the skull, and no one else was present to do it. Then it was not done by human agency. And
nevertheless it was done. "At this stage of my reflections I endeavored to remember, and did remember,
with entire distinctness, every incident which occurred about the period in question. The weather was
chilly (oh rare and happy accident!), and a fire was blazing upon the hearth. I was heated with exercise
and sat near the table. You, however, had drawn a chair close to the chimney. Just as I placed the
parchment in your hand, and as you were in the act of in. inspecting it, Wolf, the Newfoundland, entered,
and leaped upon your shoulders. With your left hand you caressed him and kept him off, while your right,
holding the parchment, was permitted to fall listlessly between your knees, and in close proximity to the
fire. At one moment I thought the blaze had caught it, and was about to caution you, but, before I could
speak, you had withdrawn it, and were engaged in its examination. When I considered all these
particulars, I doubted not for a moment that heat had been the agent in bringing to light, upon the
parchment, the skull which I saw designed upon it. You are well aware that chemical preparations exist,
and have existed time out of mind, by means of which it is possible to write upon either paper or vellum,
so that the characters shall become visible only when subjected to the action of fire. Zaffre, digested in
aqua regia, and diluted with four times its weight of water, is sometimes employed; a green tint results.
The regulus of cobalt, dissolved in spirit of nitre, gives a red. These colors disappear at longer or shorter
intervals after the material written upon cools, but again become apparent upon there-application of
heat.
"I now scrutinized the death's-head with care. Its outer edges - the edges of the drawing nearest the edge
of the vellum - were far more distinct than the others. It was clear that the action of the caloric had been
imperfect or unequal. I immediately kindled a fire, and subjected every portion of the parchment to a
glowing heat. At first, the only effect was the strengthening of the faint lines in the skull; but, upon
persevering in the experiment, there became visible, at the corner of the slip, diagonally opposite to the
spot in which the death's-head was delineated, the figure of what I at first supposed to be a goat. A closer
scrutiny, however, satisfied me that it was intended for a kid."
"Ha! ha!" said I, "to be sure I have no right to laugh at you - a million and a half of money is too serious a
matter for mirth - but you are not about to establish a third link in your chain - you will not find any
especial connexion between your pirates and a goat - pirates, you know, have nothing to do with goats;
they appertain to the farming interest."
"But I have just said that the figure was not that of a goat."
"Pretty much, but not altogether," said Legrand. "You may have heard of one Captain Kidd. I at once
looked upon the figure of the animal as a kind of punning or hieroglyphical signature. I say signature;
because its position upon the vellum suggested this idea. The death's-head at the corner diagonally
opposite, had, in the same manner, the air of a stamp, or seal. But I was sorely put out by the absence of
all else - of the body to my imagined instrument - of the text for my context."
"I presume you expected to find a letter between the stamp and the signature."
"Something of that kind. The fact is, I felt irresistibly impressed with a presentiment of some vast good
fortune impending. I can scarcely say why. Perhaps, after all, it was rather a desire than an actual belief; -
but do you know that Jupiter's silly words, about the bug being of solid gold, had a remarkable effect upon
my fancy? And then the series of accidents and coincidences - these were so very extraordinary. Do you
observe how mere an accident it was that these events should have occurred upon the sole day of all the
year in which it has been, or may be, sufficiently cool for fire, and that without the fire, or without the
intervention of the dog at the precise moment in which he appeared, I should never have become aware
of the death's-head, and so never the possessor of the treasure?"
"Well; you have heard, of course, the many stories current - the thousand vague rumors afloat about
money buried, somewhere upon the Atlantic coast, by Kidd and his associates. These rumors must have
had some foundation in fact. And that the rumors have existed so long and so continuous, could have
resulted, it appeared to me, only from the circumstance of the buried treasure still remaining entombed.
Had Kidd concealed his plunder for a time, and afterwards reclaimed it, the rumors would scarcely have
reached us in their present unvarying form. You will observe that the stories told are all aboutmoney-
seekers, not about money-finders. Had the pirate recovered his money, there the affair would have
dropped. It seemed to me that some accident - say the loss of a memorandum indicating its locality - had
deprived him of the means of recovering it, and that this accident had become known to his followers,
who otherwise might never have heard that treasure had been concealed at all, and who, busying
themselves in vain, because unguided attempts, to regain it, had given first birth, and then universal
currency, to the reports which are now so common. Have you ever heard of any important treasure being
unearthed along the coast?"
"Never."
"But that Kidd's accumulations were immense, is well known. I took it for granted, therefore, that the
earth still held them; and you will scarcely be surprised when I tell you that I felt a hope, nearly
amounting to certainty, that the parchment so strangely found, involved a lost record of the place of
deposit."
"I held the vellum again to the fire, after increasing the heat; but nothing appeared. I now thought it
possible that the coating of dirt might have something to do with the failure; so I carefully rinsed the
parchment by pouring warm water over it, and,having done this, I placed it in a tin pan, with the skull
downwards, and put the pan upon a furnace of lighted charcoal. In a few minutes, the pan having become
thoroughly heated, I removed the slip, and, to my inexpressible joy, found it spotted, in several places,
with what appeared to be figures arranged in lines. Again I placed it in the pan, and suffered it to remain
another minute. Upon taking it off, the whole was just as you see it now." Here Legrand, having re-heated
the parchment, submitted it to my inspection. The following characters were rudely traced, in a red tint,
between thedeath's-head and the goat:
"53‡‡†305))6*;4826)4‡)4‡;806*;48‡8¶60))85;1-(;:*8-83(88)5*‡
;46(;88*96*?;8)*‡(;485);5*†2:*‡(;4956*2(5*- 4)8¶8*;40692
85);)6†8)4;1(‡9;48081;8:8‡1;48†85;4)485†528806*81(‡9;48;
(88;4(‡?34;48)4‡;161;:188;‡?;"
"But," said I, returning him the slip, "I am as much in the dark as ever. Were all the jewels of Golconda
awaiting me upon my solution of this enigma, I am quite sure that I should be unable to earn them."
"And yet," said Legrand, "the solution is by no means so difficult as you might be lead to imagine from the
first hasty inspection of the characters. These characters, as any one might readily guess, form a cipher -
that is to say, they convey a meaning; but then, from what is known of Kidd, I could not suppose him
capable of constructing any of the more abstruse cryptographs. I made up my mind, at once, that this was
of a simple species - such, however, as would appear, to the crude intellect of the sailor, absolutely
insoluble without the key."
"Readily; I have solved others of an abstruseness ten thousand times greater. Circumstances, and a
certain bias of mind, have led me to take interest in such riddles, and it may well be doubted whether
human ingenuity can construct an enigma of the kind which human ingenuity may not, by proper
application, resolve. In fact, having once established connected and legible characters, I scarcely gave a
thought to the mere difficulty of developing their import.
"In the present case - indeed in all cases of secret writing - the first question regards the language of the
cipher; for the principles of solution, so far, especially, as the more simple ciphers are concerned, depend
upon, and are varied by, the genius of the particular idiom. In general, there is no alternative but
experiment (directed by probabilities) of every tongue known to him who attempts the solution, until the
true one be attained. But, with the cipher now before us, all difficulty was removed by the signature. The
pun upon the word 'Kidd' is appreciable in no other language than the English. But for this consideration I
should have begun my attempts with the Spanish and French, as the tongues in which a secret of this
kind would most naturally have been written by a pirate of the Spanish main. As it was, I assumed the
cryptograph to be English.
"You observe there are no divisions between the words. Had there been divisions, the task would have
been comparatively easy. In such case I should have commenced with a collation and analysis of the
shorter words, and, had a word of a single letter occurred, as is most likely, (a or I, for example,) I should
have considered the solution as assured. But, there being no division, my first step was to ascertain the
predominant letters, as well as the least frequent. Counting all, I constructed a table, thus:
; " 26.
4 " 19.
‡ ) " 16.
" 13.
5 " 12.
6 " 11.
† 1 " 8.
0 " 6.
9 2 " 5.
: 3 " 4.
? " 3.
¶ " 2.
-. " 1.
"Now, in English, the letter which most frequently occurs is e. Afterwards, succession runs thus: a o i d h
n r s t u y c f g l m w b k p q x z . E predominates so remarkably that an individual sentence of any length
is rarely seen, in which it is not the prevailing character.
"Here, then, we leave, in the very beginning, the groundwork for something more than a mere guess. The
general use which may be made of the table is obvious - but, in this particular cipher, we shall only very
partially require its aid. As our predominant character is 8, we will commence by assuming it as the e of
the natural alphabet. To verify the supposition, let us observe if the 8 be seen often in couples - for e is
doubled with great frequency in English - in such words, for example, as 'meet,' '.fleet,' 'speed,' 'seen,'
been,' 'agree,' &c. In the present instance we see it doubled no less than five times, although the
cryptograph is brief.
"Let us assume 8, then, as e . Now, of all words in the language, 'the' is most usual; let us see, therefore,
whether there are not repetitions of any three characters, in the same order of collocation, the last of
them being 8. If we discover repetitions of such letters, so arranged, they will most probably represent
the word 'the.' Upon inspection, we find no less than seven such arrangements, the characters being ;48.
We may, therefore, assume that ; represents t , 4 represents h , and 8 represents e - the last being now
well confirmed. Thus a great step has been taken.
"But, having established a single word, we are enabled to establish a vastly important point; that is to say,
several commencements and terminations of other words. Let us refer, for example, to the last instance
but one, in which the combination ;48 occurs - not far from the end of the cipher. We know that the ;
immediately ensuing is the commencement of a word, and, of the six characters succeeding this 'the,' we
are cognizant of no less than five. Let us set these characters down, thus, by the letters we know them to
represent, leaving a space for the unknown -
t eeth.
"Here we are enabled, at once, to discard the 'th,' as forming no portion of the word commencing with the
first t; since, by experiment of the entire alphabet for a letter adapted to the vacancy, we perceive that no
word can be formed of which this th can be a part. We are thus narrowed into
t ee,
and, going through the alphabet, if necessary, as before, we arrive at the word 'tree,' as the sole possible
reading. We thus gain another letter, r , represented by (, with the words 'the tree' in juxtaposition.
"Looking beyond these words, for a short distance, we again see the combination ;48, and employ it by
way of termination to what immediately precedes. We have thus this arrangement:
"Now, if, in place of the unknown characters, we leave blank spaces, or substitute dots, we read thus:
when the word ' through ' makes itself evident at once. But this discovery gives us three new letters, o , u
and g , represented by ‡ ? and 3.
"Looking now, narrowly, through the cipher for combinations of known characters, we find, not very far
from the beginning, this arrangement,
83(88, or egree,
which, plainly, is the conclusion of the word 'degree,' and gives us another letter, d , represented by †.
;46(;88.
"Translating the known characters, and representing the unknown by dots, as before, we read thus: th
rtee. an arrangement immediately suggestive of the word 'thirteen,' and again furnishing us with two new
characters, i and n , represented by 6 and *.
53‡‡†.
good,
which assures us that the first letter is A , and that the first two words are 'A good.'
"It is now time that we arrange our key, as far as discovered, in a tabular form, to avoid confusion. It will
stand thus:
5 represents a
† " d
8 " e
3 " g
4 " h
6 " i
" n
‡ " o
( " r
; " t
"We have, therefore, no less than ten of the most important letters represented, and it will be
unnecessary to proceed with the details of the solution. I have said enough to convince you that ciphers of
this nature are readily soluble, and to give you some insight into the rationale of their development. But
be assured that the specimen before us appertains to the very simplest species of cryptograph. It now
only remains to give you the full translation of the characters upon the parchment, as unriddled. Here it
is:
" ' A good glass in the bishop's hostel in the devil's seat forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes northeast
and by north main branch seventh limb east side shoot from the left eye of the death's-head a bee line
from the tree through the shot fifty feet out .' "
"But," said I, "the enigma seems still in as bad a condition as ever. How is it possible to extort a meaning
from all this jargon about 'devil's seats,' 'death's heads,' and 'bishop's hotels?' "
"I confess," replied Legrand, "that the matter still wears a serious aspect, when regarded with a casual
glance. My first endeavor was to divide the sentence into the natural division intended by the
cryptographist."
"I reflected that it had been a point with the writer to run his words together without division, so as to
increase the difficulty of solution. Now, a not over-acute man, in pursuing such an object would be nearly
certain to overdo the matter. When, in the course of his composition, he arrived at a break in his subject
which would naturally require a pause, or a point, he would be exceedingly apt to run his characters, at
this place, more than usually close together. If you will observe the MS., in the present instance, you will
easily detect five such cases of unusual crowding. Acting upon this hint, I made the division thus: 'A good
glass in the Bishop's hostel in the Devil's seat - forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes - northeast and by
north - main branch seventh limb east side - shoot from the left eye of the death's-head - a bee-line from
the tree through the shot fifty feet out.' "
"It left me also in the dark," replied Legrand, "for a few days; during which I made diligent inquiry, in the
neighborhood of Sullivan's Island, for any building which went by the name of the 'Bishop's Hotel;' for, of
course, I dropped the obsolete word 'hostel.' Gaining no information on the subject, I was on the point of
extending my sphere of search, and proceeding in a more systematic manner, when, one morning, it
entered into my head, quite suddenly, that this 'Bishop's Hostel' might have some reference to an old
family, of the name of Bessop, which, time out of mind, had held possession of an ancient manor-house,
about four miles to the northward of the Island. I accordingly went over to the plantation, and re-
instituted my inquiries among the older negroes of the place. At length one of the most aged of the
women said that she had heard of such a place as Bessop's Castle, and thought that she could guide me to
it, but that it was not a castle nor a tavern, but a high rock.
"I offered to pay her well for her trouble, and, after some demur, she consented to accompany me to the
spot. We found it without much difficulty, when, dismissing her, I proceeded to examine the place. The
'castle' consisted of an irregular assemblage of cliffs and rocks - one of the latter being quite remarkable
for its height as well as for its insulated and artificial appearance I clambered to its apex, and then felt
much at a loss as to what should be next done.
"While I was busied in reflection, my eyes fell upon a narrow ledge in the eastern face of the rock,
perhaps a yard below the summit upon which I stood. This ledge projected about eighteen inches, and
was not more than a foot wide, while a niche in the cliff just above it, gave it a rude resemblance to one of
the hollow-backed chairs used by our ancestors. I made no doubt that here was the 'devil's seat' alluded
to in the MS., and now I seemed to grasp the full secret of the riddle.
"The 'good glass,' I knew, could have reference to nothing but a telescope; for the word 'glass' is rarely
employed in any other sense by seamen. Now here, I at once saw, was a telescope to be used, and a
definite point of view, admitting no variation, from which to use it. Nor did I hesitate to believe that the
phrases, "forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes,' and 'northeast and by north,' were intended as
directions for the levelling of the glass. Greatly excited by these discoveries, I hurried home, procured a
telescope, and returned to the rock.
"I let myself down to the ledge, and found that it was impossible to retain a seat upon it except in one
particular position. This fact confirmed my preconceived idea. I proceeded to use the glass. Of course, the
'forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes' could allude to nothing but elevation above the visible horizon,
since the horizontal direction was clearly indicated by the words, 'northeast and by north.' This latter
direction I at once established by means of a pocket-compass; then, pointing the glass as nearly at an
angle of forty-one degrees of elevation as I could do it by guess, I moved it cautiously up or down, until
my attention was arrested by a circular rift or opening in the foliage of a large tree that overtopped its
fellows in the distance. In the centre of this rift I perceived a white spot, but could not, at first, distinguish
what it was. Adjusting the focus of the telescope, I again looked, and now made it out to be a human skull.
"Upon this discovery I was so sanguine as to consider the enigma solved; for the phrase 'main branch,
seventh limb, east side,' could refer only to the position of the skull upon the tree, while 'shoot from the
left eye of the death's head' admitted, also, of but one interpretation, in regard to a search for buried
treasure. I perceived that the design was to drop a bullet from the left eye of the skull, and that a bee-
line, or, in other words, a straight line, drawn from the nearest point of the trunk through 'the shot,' (or
the spot where the bullet fell,) and thence extended to a distance of fifty feet, would indicate a definite
point - and beneath this point I thought it at least possible that a deposit of value layconcealed."
"All this," I said, "is exceedingly clear, and, although ingenious, still simple and explicit. When you left the
Bishop's Hotel, what then?"
"Why, having carefully taken the bearings of the tree, I turned homewards. The instant that I left 'the
devil's seat,' however, the circular rift vanished; nor could I get a glimpse of it afterwards, turn as I
would. What seems to me the chief ingenuity in this whole business, is the fact (for repeated experiment
has convinced me it is a fact) that the circular opening in question is visible from no other attainable point
of view than that afforded by the narrow ledge upon the face of the rock.
"In this expedition to the 'Bishop's Hotel' I had been attended by Jupiter, who had, no doubt, observed, for
some weeks past, the abstraction of my demeanor, and took especial care not to leave me alone. But, on
the next day, getting up very early, I contrived to give him the slip, and went into the hills in search of the
tree. After much toil I found it. When I came home at night my valet proposed to give me a flogging. With
the rest of the adventure I believe you are as well acquainted as myself."
"I suppose," said I, "you missed the spot, in the first attempt at digging, through Jupiter's stupidity in
letting the bug fall through the right instead of through the left eye of the skull."
"Precisely. This mistake made a difference of about two inches and a half in the 'shot' - that is to say, in
the position of the peg nearest the tree; and had the treasure been beneath the 'shot,' the error would
have been of little moment; but 'the shot,' together with the nearest point of the tree, were merely two
points for the establishment of a line of direction; of course the error, however trivial in the beginning,
increased as we proceeded with the line, and by the time we had gone fifty feet, threw us quite off the
scent. But for my deep-seated impressions that treasure was here somewhere actually buried, we might
have had all our labor in vain."
"But your grandiloquence, and your conduct in swinging the beetle - how excessively odd! I was sure you
were mad. And why did you insist upon letting fall the bug, instead of a bullet, from the skull?"
"Why, to be frank, I felt somewhat annoyed by your evident suspicions touching my sanity, and so resolved
to punish you quietly, in my own way, by a little bit of sober mystification. For this reason I swung the
beetle, and for this reason I let it fall it from the tree. An observation of yours about its great weight
suggested the latter idea."
"Yes, I perceive; and now there is only one point which puzzles me. What are we to make of the skeletons
found in the hole?"
"That is a question I am no more able to answer than yourself. There seems, however, only one plausible
way of accounting for them - and yet it is dreadful to believe in such atrocity as my suggestion would
imply. It is clear that Kidd - if Kidd indeed secreted this treasure, which I doubt not - it is clear that he
must have had assistance in the labor. But this labor concluded, he may have thought it expedient to
remove all participants in his secret. Perhaps a couple of blows with a mattock were sufficient, while his
coadjutors were busy in the pit; perhaps it required a dozen - who shall tell?"
HOP-FROG
I NEVER knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke as the king was. He seemed to live only for joking. To tell
a good story of the j oke kind, and to tell it well, was the surest road to his favor. Thus it happened that
his seven ministers were all noted for their accomplishments as jokers. They all took after the king, too, in
being large, corpulent, oily men, as well as inimitable jokers. Whether people grow fat by joking, or
whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to
determine; but certain it is that a lean joker is a rara avis in terris.
About the refinements, or, as he called them, the 'ghost' of wit, the king troubled himself very little. He
had an especial admiration for breadth in a jest, and would often put up with length, for the sake of it.
Over-niceties wearied him. He would have preferred Rabelais' 'Gargantua' to the 'Zadig' of Voltaire: and,
upon the whole, practical jokes suited his taste far better than verbal ones.
At the date of my narrative, professing jesters had not altogether gone out of fashion at court. Several of
the great continental 'powers' still retain their 'fools,' who wore motley, with caps and bells, and who
were expected to be always ready with sharp witticisms, at a moment's notice, in consideration of the
crumbs that fell from the royal table.
Our king, as a matter of course, retained his 'fool.' The fact is, he required something in the way of folly --
if only to counterbalance the heavy wisdom of the seven wise men who were his ministers -- not to
mention himself.
His fool, or professional jester, was not only a fool, however. His value was trebled in the eyes of the king,
by the fact of his being also a dwarf and a cripple. Dwarfs were as common at court, in those days, as
fools; and many monarchs would have found it difficult to get through their days (days are rather longer
at court than elsewhere) without both a jester to laugh with, and a dwarf to laugh at. But, as I have
already observed, your jesters, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, are fat, round, and unwieldy -- so
that it was no small source of self-gratulation with our king that, in Hop-Frog (this was the fool's name),
he possessed a triplicate treasure in one person.
I believe the name 'Hop-Frog' was not that given to the dwarf by his sponsors at baptism, but it was
conferred upon him, by general consent of the several ministers, on account of his inability to walk as
other men do. In fact, Hop-Frog could only get along by a sort of interjectional gait -- something between
a leap and a wriggle -- a movement that afforded illimitable amusement, and of course consolation, to the
king, for (notwithstanding the protuberance of his stomach and a constitutional swelling of the head) the
king, by his whole court, was accounted a capital figure.
But although Hop-Frog, through the distortion of his legs, could move only with great pain and difficulty
along a road or floor, the prodigious muscular power which nature seemed to have bestowed upon his
arms, by way of compensation for deficiency in the lower limbs, enabled him to perform many feats of
wonderful dexterity, where trees or ropes were in question, or any thing else to climb. At such exercises
he certainly much more resembled a squirrel, or a small monkey, than a frog.
I am not able to say, with precision, from what country Hop-Frog originally came. It was from some
barbarous region, however, that no person ever heard of -- a vast distance from the court of our king.
Hop-Frog, and a young girl very little less dwarfish than himself (although of exquisite proportions, and a
marvellous dancer), had been forcibly carried off from their respective homes in adjoining provinces, and
sent as presents to the king, by one of his ever-victorious generals.
Under these circumstances, it is not to be wondered at that a close intimacy arose between the two little
captives. Indeed, they soon became sworn friends. Hop-Frog, who, although he made a great deal of
sport, was by no means popular, had it not in his power to render Trippetta many services; but she, on
account of her grace and exquisite beauty (although a dwarf), was universally admired and petted; so she
possessed much influence; and never failed to use it, whenever she could, for the benefit of Hop-Frog.
On some grand state occasion -- I forgot what -- the king determined to have a masquerade, and
whenever a masquerade or any thing of that kind, occurred at our court, then the talents, both of Hop-
Frog and Trippetta were sure to be called into play. Hop-Frog, in especial, was so inventive in the way of
getting up pageants, suggesting novel characters, and arranging costumes, for masked balls, that nothing
could be done, it seems, without his assistance.
The night appointed for the fete had arrived. A gorgeous hall had been fitted up, under Trippetta's eye,
with every kind of device which could possibly give eclat to a masquerade. The whole court was in a fever
of expectation. As for costumes and characters, it might well be supposed that everybody had come to a
decision on such points. Many had made up their minds (as to what roles they should assume) a week, or
even a month, in advance; and, in fact, there was not a particle of indecision anywhere -- except in the
case of the king and his seven minsters. Why they hesitated I never could tell, unless they did it by way of
a joke. More probably, they found it difficult, on account of being so fat, to make up their minds. At all
events, time flew; and, as a last resort they sent for Trippetta and Hop-Frog.
When the two little friends obeyed the summons of the king they found him sitting at his wine with the
seven members of his cabinet council; but the monarch appeared to be in a very ill humor. He knew that
Hop-Frog was not fond of wine, for it excited the poor cripple almost to madness; and madness is no
comfortable feeling. But the king loved his practical jokes, and took pleasure in forcing Hop-Frog to drink
and (as the king called it) 'to be merry.'
"Come here, Hop-Frog," said he, as the jester and his friend entered the room; "swallow this bumper to
the health of your absent friends, [here Hop-Frog sighed,] and then let us have the benefit of your
invention. We want characters -- characters, man -- something novel -- out of the way. We are wearied with
this everlasting sameness. Come, drink! the wine will brighten your wits."
Hop-Frog endeavored, as usual, to get up a jest in reply to these advances from the king; but the effort
was too much. It happened to be the poor dwarf's birthday, and the command to drink to his 'absent
friends' forced the tears to his eyes. Many large, bitter drops fell into the goblet as he took it, humbly,
from the hand of the tyrant.
"Ah! ha! ha!" roared the latter, as the dwarf reluctantly drained the beaker. -- "See what a glass of good
wine can do! Why, your eyes are shining already!"
Poor fellow! his large eyes gleamed, rather than shone; for the effect of wine on his excitable brain was
not more powerful than instantaneous. He placed the goblet nervously on the table, and looked round
upon the company with a half -- insane stare. They all seemed highly amused at the success of the king's
'joke.'
"And now to business," said the prime minister, a very fat man.
"Yes," said the King; "Come lend us your assistance. Characters, my fine fellow; we stand in need of
characters -- all of us -- ha! ha! ha!" and as this was seriously meant for a joke, his laugh was chorused by
the seven.
"Come, come," said the king, impatiently, "have you nothing to suggest?"
"I am endeavoring to think of something novel," replied the dwarf, abstractedly, for he was quite
bewildered by the wine.
"Endeavoring!" cried the tyrant, fiercely; "what do you mean by that? Ah, I perceive. You are Sulky, and
want more wine. Here, drink this!" and he poured out another goblet full and offered it to the cripple,
who merely gazed at it, gasping for breath.
The dwarf hesitated. The king grew purple with rage. The courtiers smirked. Trippetta, pale as a corpse,
advanced to the monarch's seat, and, falling on her knees before him, implored him to spare her friend.
The tyrant regarded her, for some moments, in evident wonder at her audacity. He seemed quite at a loss
what to do or say -- how most becomingly to express his indignation. At last, without uttering a syllable,
he pushed her violently from him, and threw the contents of the brimming goblet in her face.
The poor girl got up the best she could, and, not daring even to sigh, resumed her position at the foot of
the table.
There was a dead silence for about half a minute, during which the falling of a leaf, or of a feather, might
have been heard. It was interrupted by a low, but harsh and protracted grating sound which seemed to
come at once from every corner of the room.
"What -- what -- what are you making that noise for?" demanded the king, turning furiously to the dwarf.
The latter seemed to have recovered, in great measure, from his intoxication, and looking fixedly but
quietly into the tyrant's face, merely ejaculated:
"The sound appeared to come from without," observed one of the courtiers. "I fancy it was the parrot at
the window, whetting his bill upon his cage-wires."
"True," replied the monarch, as if much relieved by the suggestion; "but, on the honor of a knight, I could
have sworn that it was the gritting of this vagabond's teeth."
Hereupon the dwarf laughed (the king was too confirmed a joker to object to any one's laughing), and
displayed a set of large, powerful, and very repulsive teeth. Moreover, he avowed his perfect willingness
to swallow as much wine as desired. The monarch was pacified; and having drained another bumper with
no very perceptible ill effect, Hop-Frog entered at once, and with spirit, into the plans for the
masquerade.
"I cannot tell what was the association of idea," observed he, very tranquilly, and as if he had never tasted
wine in his life, "but just after your majesty, had struck the girl and thrown the wine in her face -- just
after your majesty had done this, and while the parrot was making that odd noise outside the window,
there came into my mind a capital diversion -- one of my own country frolics -- often enacted among us, at
our masquerades: but here it will be new altogether. Unfortunately, however, it requires a company of
eight persons and-"
"Here we are!" cried the king, laughing at his acute discovery of the coincidence; "eight to a fraction -- I
and my seven ministers. Come! what is the diversion?"
"We call it," replied the cripple, "the Eight Chained Ourang-Outangs, and it really is excellent sport if well
enacted."
"We will enact it," remarked the king, drawing himself up, and lowering his eyelids.
"The beauty of the game," continued Hop-Frog, "lies in the fright it occasions among the women."
"I will equip you as ourang-outangs," proceeded the dwarf; "leave all that to me. The resemblance shall be
so striking, that the company of masqueraders will take you for real beasts -- and of course, they will be
as much terrified as astonished."
"Oh, this is exquisite!" exclaimed the king. "Hop-Frog! I will make a man of you."
"The chains are for the purpose of increasing the confusion by their jangling. You are supposed to have
escaped, en masse, from your keepers. Your majesty cannot conceive the effect produced, at a
masquerade, by eight chained ourang-outangs, imagined to be real ones by most of the company; and
rushing in with savage cries, among the crowd of delicately and gorgeously habited men and women. The
contrast is inimitable!"
"It must be," said the king: and the council arose hurriedly (as it was growing late), to put in execution
the scheme of Hop-Frog.
His mode of equipping the party as ourang-outangs was very simple, but effective enough for his
purposes. The animals in question had, at the epoch of my story, very rarely been seen in any part of the
civilized world; and as the imitations made by the dwarf were sufficiently beast-like and more than
sufficiently hideous, their truthfulness to nature was thus thought to be secured.
The king and his ministers were first encased in tight-fitting stockinet shirts and drawers. They were then
saturated with tar. At this stage of the process, some one of the party suggested feathers; but the
suggestion was at once overruled by the dwarf, who soon convinced the eight, by ocular demonstration,
that the hair of such a brute as the ourang-outang was much more efficiently represented by flu. A thick
coating of the latter was accordingly plastered upon the coating of tar. A long chain was now procured.
First, it was passed about the waist of the king, and tied, then about another of the party, and also tied;
then about all successively, in the same manner. When this chaining arrangement was complete, and the
party stood as far apart from each other as possible, they formed a circle; and to make all things appear
natural, Hop-Frog passed the residue of the chain in two diameters, at right angles, across the circle,
after the fashion adopted, at the present day, by those who capture Chimpanzees, or other large apes, in
Borneo.
The grand saloon in which the masquerade was to take place, was a circular room, very lofty, and
receiving the light of the sun only through a single window at top. At night (the season for which the
apartment was especially designed) it was illuminated principally by a large chandelier, depending by a
chain from the centre of the sky-light, and lowered, or elevated, by means of a counter-balance as usual;
but (in order not to look unsightly) this latter passed outside the cupola and over the roof.
The arrangements of the room had been left to Trippetta's superintendence; but, in some particulars, it
seems, she had been guided by the calmer judgment of her friend the dwarf. At his suggestion it was that,
on this occasion, the chandelier was removed. Its waxen drippings (which, in weather so warm, it was
quite impossible to prevent) would have been seriously detrimental to the rich dresses of the guests, who,
on account of the crowded state of the saloon, could not all be expected to keep from out its centre; that
is to say, from under the chandelier. Additional sconces were set in various parts of the hall, out of the
war, and a flambeau, emitting sweet odor, was placed in the right hand of each of the Caryaides
[Caryatides] that stood against the wall -- some fifty or sixty altogether.
The eight ourang-outangs, taking Hop-Frog's advice, waited patiently until midnight (when the room was
thoroughly filled with masqueraders) before making their appearance. No sooner had the clock ceased
striking, however, than they rushed, or rather rolled in, all together -- for the impediments of their chains
caused most of the party to fall, and all to stumble as they entered.
The excitement among the masqueraders was prodigious, and filled the heart of the king with glee. As
had been anticipated, there were not a few of the guests who supposed the ferocious-looking creatures to
be beasts of some kind in reality, if not precisely ourang-outangs. Many of the women swooned with
affright; and had not the king taken the precaution to exclude all weapons from the saloon, his party
might soon have expiated their frolic in their blood. As it was, a general rush was made for the doors; but
the king had ordered them to be locked immediately upon his entrance; and, at the dwarf's suggestion,
the keys had been deposited with him.
While the tumult was at its height, and each masquerader attentive only to his own safety (for, in fact,
there was much real danger from the pressure of the excited crowd), the chain by which the chandelier
ordinarily hung, and which had been drawn up on its removal, might have been seen very gradually to
descend, until its hooked extremity came within three feet of the floor.
Soon after this, the king and his seven friends having reeled about the hall in all directions, found
themselves, at length, in its centre, and, of course, in immediate contact with the chain. While they were
thus situated, the dwarf, who had followed noiselessly at their heels, inciting them to keep up the
commotion, took hold of their own chain at the intersection of the two portions which crossed the circle
diametrically and at right angles. Here, with the rapidity of thought, he inserted the hook from which the
chandelier had been wont to depend; and, in an instant, by some unseen agency, the chandelier-chain was
drawn so far upward as to take the hook out of reach, and, as an inevitable consequence, to drag the
ourang-outangs together in close connection, and face to face.
The masqueraders, by this time, had recovered, in some measure, from their alarm; and, beginning to
regard the whole matter as a well-contrived pleasantry, set up a loud shout of laughter at the predicament
of the apes.
"Leave them to me!" now screamed Hop-Frog, his shrill voice making itself easily heard through all the
din. "Leave them to me. I fancy I know them. If I can only get a good look at them, I can soon tell who
they are."
Here, scrambling over the heads of the crowd, he managed to get to the wall; when, seizing a flambeau
from one of the Caryatides, he returned, as he went, to the centre of the room-leaping, with the agility of
a monkey, upon the kings head, and thence clambered a few feet up the chain; holding down the torch to
examine the group of ourang-outangs, and still screaming: "I shall soon find out who they are!"
And now, while the whole assembly (the apes included) were convulsed with laughter, the jester suddenly
uttered a shrill whistle; when the chain flew violently up for about thirty feet -- dragging with it the
dismayed and struggling ourang-outangs, and leaving them suspended in mid-air between the sky-light
and the floor. Hop-Frog, clinging to the chain as it rose, still maintained his relative position in respect to
the eight maskers, and still (as if nothing were the matter) continued to thrust his torch down toward
them, as though endeavoring to discover who they were.
So thoroughly astonished was the whole company at this ascent, that a dead silence, of about a minute's
duration, ensued. It was broken by just such a low, harsh, grating sound, as had before attracted the
attention of the king and his councillors when the former threw the wine in the face of Trippetta. But, on
the present occasion, there could be no question as to whence the sound issued. It came from the fang --
like teeth of the dwarf, who ground them and gnashed them as he foamed at the mouth, and glared, with
an expression of maniacal rage, into the upturned countenances of the king and his seven companions.
"Ah, ha!" said at length the infuriated jester. "Ah, ha! I begin to see who these people are now!" Here,
pretending to scrutinize the king more closely, he held the flambeau to the flaxen coat which enveloped
him, and which instantly burst into a sheet of vivid flame. In less than half a minute the whole eight
ourang-outangs were blazing fiercely, amid the shrieks of the multitude who gazed at them from below,
horror-stricken, and without the power to render them the slightest assistance.
At length the flames, suddenly increasing in virulence, forced the jester to climb higher up the chain, to
be out of their reach; and, as he made this movement, the crowd again sank, for a brief instant, into
silence. The dwarf seized his opportunity, and once more spoke:
"I now see distinctly." he said, "what manner of people these maskers are. They are a great king and his
seven privy-councillors, -- a king who does not scruple to strike a defenceless girl and his seven
councillors who abet him in the outrage. As for myself, I am simply Hop-Frog, the jester -- and this is my
last jest."
Owing to the high combustibility of both the flax and the tar to which it adhered, the dwarf had scarcely
made an end of his brief speech before the work of vengeance was complete. The eight corpses swung in
their chains, a fetid, blackened, hideous, and indistinguishable mass. The cripple hurled his torch at them,
clambered leisurely to the ceiling, and disappeared through the sky-light.
It is supposed that Trippetta, stationed on the roof of the saloon, had been the accomplice of her friend in
his fiery revenge, and that, together, they effected their escape to their own country: for neither was seen
again.
HOW TO WRITE A BLACKWOOD ARTICLE.
"In the name of the Prophet -- figs!!" Cry of the Turkish fig-peddler.
I P RESUME everybody has heard of me. My name is the Signora Psyche Zenobia. This I know to be a
fact. Nobody but my enemies ever calls me Suky Snobbs. I have been assured that Suky is but a vulgar
corruption of Psyche, which is good Greek, and means "the soul" (that's me, I'm all soul) and sometimes
"a butterfly," which latter meaning undoubtedly alludes to my appearance in my new crimson satin dress,
with the sky-blue Arabian mantelet, and the trimmings of green agraffas, and the seven flounces of
orange-colored auriculas. As for Snobbs -- any person who should look at me would be instantly aware
that my name wasn't Snobbs. Miss Tabitha Turnip propagated that report through sheer envy. Tabitha
Turnip indeed! Oh the little wretch! But what can we expect from a turnip? Wonder if she remembers the
old adage about "blood out of a turnip," &c.? [Mem. put her in mind of it the first opportunity.] [Mem.
again -- pull her nose.] Where was I? Ah! I have been assured that Snobbs is a mere corruption of
Zenobia, and that Zenobia was a queen -- (So am I. Dr. Moneypenny always calls me the Queen of the
Hearts) -- and that Zenobia, as well as Psyche, is good Greek, and that my father was "a Greek," and that
consequently I have a right to our patronymic, which is Zenobia and not by any means Snobbs. Nobody
but Tabitha Turnip calls me Suky Snobbs. I am the Signora Psyche Zenobia.
As I said before, everybody has heard of me. I am that very Signora Psyche Zenobia, so justly celebrated
as corresponding secretary to the "Philadelphia, Regular, Exchange, Tea, Total, Young, Belles, Lettres,
Universal, Experimental, Bibliographical, Association, To, Civilize, Humanity." Dr. Moneypenny made the
title for us, and says he chose it because it sounded big like an empty rum-puncheon. (A vulgar man that
sometimes -- but he's deep.) We all sign the initials of the society after our names, in the fashion of the R.
S. A., Royal Society of Arts -- the S. D. U. K., Society for the Diffusion of Useful Knowledge, &c, &c. Dr.
Moneypenny says that S. stands for stale, and that D. U. K. spells duck, (but it don't,) that S. D. U. K.
stands for Stale Duck and not for Lord Brougham's society -- but then Dr. Moneypenny is such a queer
man that I am never sure when he is telling me the truth. At any rate we always add to our names the
initials P. R. E. T. T. Y. B. L. U. E. B. A. T. C. H. -- that is to say, Philadelphia, Regular, Exchange, Tea, Total,
Young, Belles, Lettres, Universal, Experimental, Bibliographical, Association, To, Civilize, Humanity -- one
letter for each word, which is a decided improvement upon Lord Brougham. Dr. Moneypenny will have it
that our initials give our true character -- but for my life I can't see what he means.
Notwithstanding the good offices of the Doctor, and the strenuous exertions of the association to get itself
into notice, it met with no very great success until I joined it. The truth is, the members indulged in too
flippant a tone of discussion. The papers read every Saturday evening were characterized less by depth
than buffoonery. They were all whipped syllabub. There was no investigation of first causes, first
principles. There was no investigation of any thing at all. There was no attention paid to that great point,
the "fitness of things." In short there was no fine writing like this. It was all low -- very! No profundity, no
reading, no metaphysics -- nothing which the learned call spirituality, and which the unlearned choose to
stigmatize as cant. [Dr. M. says I ought to spell "cant" with a capital K -- but I know better.]
When I joined the society it was my endeavor to introduce a better style of thinking and writing, and all
the world knows how well I have succeeded. We get up as good papers now in the P. R. E. T. T. Y. B. L. U.
E. B. A. T. C. H. as any to be found even in Blackwood. I say, Blackwood, because I have been assured that
the finest writing, upon every subject, is to be discovered in the pages of that justly celebrated Magazine.
We now take it for our model upon all themes, and are getting into rapid notice accordingly. And, after all,
it's not so very difficult a matter to compose an article of the genuine Blackwood stamp, if one only goes
properly about it. Of course I don't speak of the political articles. Everybody knows how they are
managed, since Dr. Moneypenny explained it. Mr. Blackwood has a pair of tailor's-shears, and three
apprentices who stand by him for orders. One hands him the "Times," another the "Examiner" and a third
a "Culley's New Compendium of Slang-Whang." Mr. B. merely cuts out and intersperses. It is soon done --
nothing but "Examiner," "Slang-Whang," and "Times" -- then "Times," "Slang-Whang," and "Examiner" --
and then "Times," "Examiner," and "Slang-Whang."
But the chief merit of the Magazine lies in its miscellaneous articles; and the best of these come under
the head of what Dr. Moneypenny calls the bizarreries (whatever that may mean) and what everybody
else calls the intensities. This is a species of writing which I have long known how to appreciate, although
it is only since my late visit to Mr. Blackwood (deputed by the society) that I have been made aware of the
exact method of composition. This method is very simple, but not so much so as the politics. Upon my
calling at Mr. B.'s, and making known to him the wishes of the society, he received me with great civility,
took me into his study, and gave me a clear explanation of the whole process.
"My dear madam," said he, evidently struck with my majestic appearance, for I had on the crimson satin,
with the green agraffas, and orange-colored auriclas. "My dear madam," said he, "sit down. The matter
stands thus: In the first place your writer of intensities must have very black ink, and a very big pen, with
a very blunt nib. And, mark me, Miss Psyche Zenobia!" he continued, after a pause, with the most
expressive energy and solemnity of manner, "mark me! -- that pen -- must -- never be mended! Herein,
madam, lies the secret, the soul, of intensity. I assume upon myself to say, that no individual, of however
great genius ever wrote with a good pen -- understand me, -- a good article. You may take, it for granted,
that when manuscript can be read it is never worth reading. This is a leading principle in our faith, to
which if you cannot readily assent, our conference is at an end."
He paused. But, of course, as I had no wish to put an end to the conference, I assented to a proposition so
very obvious, and one, too, of whose truth I had all along been sufficiently aware. He seemed pleased, and
went on with his instructions.
"It may appear invidious in me, Miss Psyche Zenobia, to refer you to any article, or set of articles, in the
way of model or study, yet perhaps I may as well call your attention to a few cases. Let me see. There was
'The Dead Alive,' a capital thing! -- the record of a gentleman's sensations when entombed before the
breath was out of his body -- full of tastes, terror, sentiment, metaphysics, and erudition. You would have
sworn that the writer had been born and brought up in a coffin. Then we had the 'Confessions of an
Opium-eater' -- fine, very fine! -- glorious imagination -- deep philosophy acute speculation -- plenty of fire
and fury, and a good spicing of the decidedly unintelligible. That was a nice bit of flummery, and went
down the throats of the people delightfully. They would have it that Coleridge wrote the paper -- but not
so. It was composed by my pet baboon, Juniper, over a rummer of Hollands and water, 'hot, without
sugar.'" [This I could scarcely have believed had it been anybody but Mr. Blackwood, who assured me of
it.] "Then there was 'The Involuntary Experimentalist,' all about a gentleman who got baked in an oven,
and came out alive and well, although certainly done to a turn. And then there was 'The Diary of a Late
Physician,' where the merit lay in good rant, and indifferent Greek -- both of them taking things with the
public. And then there was 'The Man in the Bell,' a paper by-the-by, Miss Zenobia, which I cannot
sufficiently recommend to your attention. It is the history of a young person who goes to sleep under the
clapper of a church bell, and is awakened by its tolling for a funeral. The sound drives him mad, and,
accordingly, pulling out his tablets, he gives a record of his sensations. Sensations are the great things
after all. Should you ever be drowned or hung, be sure and make a note of your sensations -- they will be
worth to you ten guineas a sheet. If you wish to write forcibly, Miss Zenobia, pay minute attention to the
sensations."
"Good!" he replied. "I see you are a pupil after my own heart. But I must put you au fait to the details
necessary in composing what may be denominated a genuine Blackwood article of the sensation stamp --
the kind which you will understand me to say I consider the best for all purposes.
"The first thing requisite is to get yourself into such a scrape as no one ever got into before. The oven, for
instance, -- that was a good hit. But if you have no oven or big bell, at hand, and if you cannot
conveniently tumble out of a balloon, or be swallowed up in an earthquake, or get stuck fast in a chimney,
you will have to be contented with simply imagining some similar misadventure. I should prefer, however,
that you have the actual fact to bear you out. Nothing so well assists the fancy, as an experimental
knowledge of the matter in hand. 'Truth is strange,' you know, 'stranger than fiction' -- besides being
more to the purpose."
Here I assured him I had an excellent pair of garters, and would go and hang myself forthwith.
"Good!" he replied, "do so; -- although hanging is somewhat hacknied. Perhaps you might do better. Take
a dose of Brandreth's pills, and then give us your sensations. However, my instructions will apply equally
well to any variety of misadventure, and in your way home you may easily get knocked in the head, or run
over by an omnibus, or bitten by a mad dog, or drowned in a gutter. But to proceed.
"Having determined upon your subject, you must next consider the tone, or manner, of your narration.
There is the tone didactic, the tone enthusiastic, the tone natural -- all common -- place enough. But then
there is the tone laconic, or curt, which has lately come much into use. It consists in short sentences.
Somehow thus: Can't be too brief. Can't be too snappish. Always a full stop. And never a paragraph.
"Then there is the tone elevated, diffusive, and interjectional. Some of our best novelists patronize this
tone. The words must be all in a whirl, like a humming-top, and make a noise very similar, which answers
remarkably well instead of meaning. This is the best of all possible styles where the writer is in too great
a hurry to think.
"The tone metaphysical is also a good one. If you know any big words this is your chance for them. Talk of
the Ionic and Eleatic schools -- of Archytas, Gorgias, and Alcmaeon. Say something about objectivity and
subjectivity. Be sure and abuse a man named Locke. Turn up your nose at things in general, and when you
let slip any thing a little too absurd, you need not be at the trouble of scratching it out, but just add a
footnote and say that you are indebted for the above profound observation to the 'Kritik der reinem
Vernunft,' or to the 'Metaphysithe Anfongsgrunde der Noturwissenchaft.' This would look erudite and --
and -- and frank.
"There are various other tones of equal celebrity, but I shall mention only two more -- the tone
transcendental and the tone heterogeneous. In the former the merit consists in seeing into the nature of
affairs a very great deal farther than anybody else. This second sight is very efficient when properly
managed. A little reading of the 'Dial' will carry you a great way. Eschew, in this case, big words; get them
as small as possible, and write them upside down. Look over Channing's poems and quote what he says
about a 'fat little man with a delusive show of Can.' Put in something about the Supernal Oneness. Don't
say a syllable about the Infernal Twoness. Above all, study innuendo. Hint everything -- assert nothing. If
you feel inclined to say 'bread and butter,' do not by any means say it outright. You may say any thing and
every thing approaching to 'bread and butter.' You may hint at buck-wheat cake, or you may even go so
far as to insinuate oat-meal porridge, but if bread and butter be your real meaning, be cautious, my dear
Miss Psyche, not on any account to say 'bread and butter!'"
I assured him that I should never say it again as long as I lived. He kissed me and continued:
"As for the tone heterogeneous, it is merely a judicious mixture, in equal proportions, of all the other
tones in the world, and is consequently made up of every thing deep, great, odd, piquant, pertinent, and
pretty.
"Let us suppose now you have determined upon your incidents and tone. The most important portion -- in
fact, the soul of the whole business, is yet to be attended to -- I allude to the filling up. It is not to be
supposed that a lady, or gentleman either, has been leading the life of a book worm. And yet above all
things it is necessary that your article have an air of erudition, or at least afford evidence of extensive
general reading. Now I'll put you in the way of accomplishing this point. See here!" (pulling down some
three or four ordinary-looking volumes, and opening them at random). "By casting your eye down almost
any page of any book in the world, you will be able to perceive at once a host of little scraps of either
learning or bel-espritism, which are the very thing for the spicing of a Blackwood article. You might as
well note down a few while I read them to you. I shall make two divisions: first, Piquant Facts for the
Manufacture of Similes, and, second, Piquant Expressions to be introduced as occasion may require.
Write now!" -- and I wrote as he dictated.
"PIQUANT FACTS FOR SIMILES. 'There were originally but three Muses -- Melete, Mneme, Aoede --
meditation, memory, and singing.' You may make a good deal of that little fact if properly worked. You see
it is not generally known, and looks recherche. You must be careful and give the thing with a downright
improviso air.
"Again. 'The river Alpheus passed beneath the sea, and emerged without injury to the purity of its
waters.' Rather stale that, to be sure, but, if properly dressed and dished up, will look quite as fresh as
ever.
"Here is something better. 'The Persian Iris appears to some persons to possess a sweet and very
powerful perfume, while to others it is perfectly scentless.' Fine that, and very delicate! Turn it about a
little, and it will do wonders. We'll have some thing else in the botanical line. There's nothing goes down
so well, especially with the help of a little Latin. Write!
"'The Epidendrum Flos Aeris, of Java, bears a very beautiful flower, and will live when pulled up by the
roots. The natives suspend it by a cord from the ceiling, and enjoy its fragrance for years.' That's capital!
That will do for the similes. Now for the Piquant Expressions.
"PIQUANT EXPRESSIONS. 'The Venerable Chinese novel Ju-Kiao-Li.' Good! By introducing these few
words with dexterity you will evince your intimate acquaintance with the language and literature of the
Chinese. With the aid of this you may either get along without either Arabic, or Sanscrit, or Chickasaw.
There is no passing muster, however, without Spanish, Italian, German, Latin, and Greek. I must look you
out a little specimen of each. Any scrap will answer, because you must depend upon your own ingenuity to
make it fit into your article. Now write!
"'Aussi tendre que Zaire' -- as tender as Zaire-French. Alludes to the frequent repetition of the phrase, la
tendre Zaire, in the French tragedy of that name. Properly introduced, will show not only your knowledge
of the language, but your general reading and wit. You can say, for instance, that the chicken you were
eating (write an article about being choked to death by a chicken-bone) was not altogether aussi tendre
que Zaire. Write!
'Van muerte tan escondida, Que no te sienta venir, Porque el plazer del morir, No mestorne a dar la vida.'
"That's Spanish -- from Miguel de Cervantes. 'Come quickly, O death! but be sure and don't let me see you
coming, lest the pleasure I shall feel at your appearance should unfortunately bring me back again to life.'
This you may slip in quite a propos when you are struggling in the last agonies with the chicken-bone.
Write!
'Il pover 'huomo che non se'n era accorto, Andava combattendo, e era morto.'
That's Italian, you perceive -- from Ariosto. It means that a great hero, in the heat of combat, not
perceiving that he had been fairly killed, continued to fight valiantly, dead as he was. The application of
this to your own case is obvious -- for I trust, Miss Psyche, that you will not neglect to kick for at least an
hour and a half after you have been choked to death by that chicken-bone. Please to write!
That's German -- from Schiller. 'And if I die, at least I die -- for thee -- for thee!' Here it is clear that you
are apostrophizing the cause of your disaster, the chicken. Indeed what gentleman (or lady either) of
sense, wouldn't die, I should like to know, for a well fattened capon of the right Molucca breed, stuffed
with capers and mushrooms, and served up in a salad-bowl, with orange-jellies en mosaiques. Write! (You
can get them that way at Tortoni's) -- Write, if you please!
"Here is a nice little Latin phrase, and rare too, (one can't be too recherche or brief in one's Latin, it's
getting so common -- ignoratio elenchi. He has committed an ignoratio elenchi -- that is to say, he has
understood the words of your proposition, but not the idea. The man was a fool, you see. Some poor
fellow whom you address while choking with that chicken-bone, and who therefore didn't precisely
understand what you were talking about. Throw the ignoratio elenchi in his teeth, and, at once, you have
him annihilated. If he dares to reply, you can tell him from Lucan (here it is) that speeches are mere
anemonae verborum, anemone words. The anemone, with great brilliancy, has no smell. Or, if he begins to
bluster, you may be down upon him with insomnia Jovis, reveries of Jupiter -- a phrase which Silius
Italicus (see here!) applies to thoughts pompous and inflated. This will be sure and cut him to the heart.
He can do nothing but roll over and die. Will you be kind enough to write?
"In Greek we must have some thing pretty -- from Demosthenes, for example. !<,D@ N,LT8 ¯"4 B"84<
:"P,F,J"4
[Anerh o pheugoen kai palin makesetai] There is a tolerably good translation of it in Hudibras
'For he that flies may fight again, Which he can never do that's slain.'
In a Blackwood article nothing makes so fine a show as your Greek. The very letters have an air of
profundity about them. Only observe, madam, the astute look of that Epsilon! That Phi ought certainly to
be a bishop! Was ever there a smarter fellow than that Omicron? Just twig that Tau! In short, there is
nothing like Greek for a genuine sensation-paper. In the present case your application is the most obvious
thing in the world. Rap out the sentence, with a huge oath, and by way of ultimatum at the good-for-
nothing dunder-headed villain who couldn't understand your plain English in relation to the chicken-bone.
He'll take the hint and be off, you may depend upon it."
These were all the instructions Mr. B. could afford me upon the topic in question, but I felt they would be
entirely sufficient. I was, at length, able to write a genuine Blackwood article, and determined to do it
forthwith. In taking leave of me, Mr. B. made a proposition for the purchase of the paper when written;
but as he could offer me only fifty guineas a sheet, I thought it better to let our society have it, than
sacrifice it for so paltry a sum. Notwithstanding this niggardly spirit, however, the gentleman showed his
consideration for me in all other respects, and indeed treated me with the greatest civility. His parting
words made a deep impression upon my heart, and I hope I shall always remember them with gratitude.
"My dear Miss Zenobia," he said, while the tears stood in his eyes, "is there anything else I can do to
promote the success of your laudable undertaking? Let me reflect! It is just possible that you may not be
able, so soon as convenient, to -- to -- get yourself drowned, or -- choked with a chicken-bone, or -- or
hung, -- or -- bitten by a -- but stay! Now I think me of it, there are a couple of very excellent bull-dogs in
the yard -- fine fellows, I assure you -- savage, and all that -- indeed just the thing for your money -- they'll
have you eaten up, auricula and all, in less than five minutes (here's my watch!) -- and then only think of
the sensations! Here! I say -- Tom! -- Peter! -- Dick, you villain! -- let out those" -- but as I was really in a
great hurry, and had not another moment to spare, I was reluctantly forced to expedite my departure, and
accordingly took leave at once -- somewhat more abruptly, I admit, than strict courtesy would have
otherwise allowed.
It was my primary object upon quitting Mr. Blackwood, to get into some immediate difficulty, pursuant to
his advice, and with this view I spent the greater part of the day in wandering about Edinburgh, seeking
for desperate adventures -- adventures adequate to the intensity of my feelings, and adapted to the vast
character of the article I intended to write. In this excursion I was attended by one negro -- servant,
Pompey, and my little lap-dog Diana, whom I had brought with me from Philadelphia. It was not, however,
until late in the afternoon that I fully succeeded in my arduous undertaking. An important event then
happened of which the following Blackwood article, in the tone heterogeneous, is the substance and
result.
THE IMP OF THE PERVERSE
IN THE consideration of the faculties and impulses -- of the prima mobilia of the human soul, the
phrenologists have failed to m ake room for a propensity which, although obviously existing as a radical,
primitive, irreducible sentiment, has been equally overlooked by all the moralists who have preceded
them. In the pure arrogance of the reason, we have all overlooked it. We have suffered its existence to
escape our senses, solely through want of belief -- of faith; -- whether it be faith in Revelation, or faith in
the Kabbala. The idea of it has never occurred to us, simply because of its supererogation. We saw no
need of the impulse -- for the propensity. We could not perceive its necessity. We could not understand,
that is to say, we could not have understood, had the notion of this primum mobile ever obtruded itself; --
we could not have understood in what manner it might be made to further the objects of humanity, either
temporal or eternal. It cannot be denied that phrenology and, in great measure, all metaphysicianism
have been concocted a priori. The intellectual or logical man, rather than the understanding or observant
man, set himself to imagine designs -- to dictate purposes to God. Having thus fathomed, to his
satisfaction, the intentions of Jehovah, out of these intentions he built his innumerable systems of mind. In
the matter of phrenology, for example, we first determined, naturally enough, that it was the design of the
Deity that man should eat. We then assigned to man an organ of alimentiveness, and this organ is the
scourge with which the Deity compels man, will-I nill-I, into eating. Secondly, having settled it to be God's
will that man should continue his species, we discovered an organ of amativeness, forthwith. And so with
combativeness, with ideality, with causality, with constructiveness, -- so, in short, with every organ,
whether representing a propensity, a moral sentiment, or a faculty of the pure intellect. And in these
arrangements of the Principia of human action, the Spurzheimites, whether right or wrong, in part, or
upon the whole, have but followed, in principle, the footsteps of their predecessors: deducing and
establishing every thing from the preconceived destiny of man, and upon the ground of the objects of his
Creator.
It would have been wiser, it would have been safer, to classify (if classify we must) upon the basis of what
man usually or occasionally did, and was always occasionally doing, rather than upon the basis of what
we took it for granted the Deity intended him to do. If we cannot comprehend God in his visible works,
how then in his inconceivable thoughts, that call the works into being? If we cannot understand him in his
objective creatures, how then in his substantive moods and phases of creation?
Induction, a posteriori, would have brought phrenology to admit, as an innate and primitive principle of
human action, a paradoxical something, which we may call perverseness, for want of a more
characteristic term. In the sense I intend, it is, in fact, a mobile without motive, a motive not motivirt.
Through its promptings we act without comprehensible object; or, if this shall be understood as a
contradiction in terms, we may so far modify the proposition as to say, that through its promptings we act,
for the reason that we should not. In theory, no reason can be more unreasonable, but, in fact, there is
none more strong. With certain minds, under certain conditions, it becomes absolutely irresistible. I am
not more certain that I breathe, than that the assurance of the wrong or error of any action is often the
one unconquerable force which impels us, and alone impels us to its prosecution. Nor will this
overwhelming tendency to do wrong for the wrong's sake, admit of analysis, or resolution into ulterior
elements. It is a radical, a primitive impulse-elementary. It will be said, I am aware, that when we persist
in acts because we feel we should not persist in them, our conduct is but a modification of that which
ordinarily springs from the combativeness of phrenology. But a glance will show the fallacy of this idea.
The phrenological combativeness has for its essence, the necessity of self-defence. It is our safeguard
against injury. Its principle regards our well-being; and thus the desire to be well is excited
simultaneously with its development. It follows, that the desire to be well must be excited simultaneously
with any principle which shall be merely a modification of combativeness, but in the case of that
something which I term perverseness, the desire to be well is not only not aroused, but a strongly
antagonistical sentiment exists.
An appeal to one's own heart is, after all, the best reply to the sophistry just noticed. No one who
trustingly consults and thoroughly questions his own soul, will be disposed to deny the entire radicalness
of the propensity in question. It is not more incomprehensible than distinctive. There lives no man who at
some period has not been tormented, for example, by an earnest desire to tantalize a listener by
circumlocution. The speaker is aware that he displeases; he has every intention to please, he is usually
curt, precise, and clear, the most laconic and luminous language is struggling for utterance upon his
tongue, it is only with difficulty that he restrains himself from giving it flow; he dreads and deprecates the
anger of him whom he addresses; yet, the thought strikes him, that by certain involutions and
parentheses this anger may be engendered. That single thought is enough. The impulse increases to a
wish, the wish to a desire, the desire to an uncontrollable longing, and the longing (to the deep regret and
mortification of the speaker, and in defiance of all consequences) is indulged.
We have a task before us which must be speedily performed. We know that it will be ruinous to make
delay. The most important crisis of our life calls, trumpet-tongued, for immediate energy and action. We
glow, we are consumed with eagerness to commence the work, with the anticipation of whose glorious
result our whole souls are on fire. It must, it shall be undertaken to-day, and yet we put it off until to-
morrow, and why? There is no answer, except that we feel perverse, using the word with no
comprehension of the principle. To-morrow arrives, and with it a more impatient anxiety to do our duty,
but with this very increase of anxiety arrives, also, a nameless, a positively fearful, because unfathomable,
craving for delay. This craving gathers strength as the moments fly. The last hour for action is at hand. We
tremble with the violence of the conflict within us, -- of the definite with the indefinite -- of the substance
with the shadow. But, if the contest have proceeded thus far, it is the shadow which prevails, -- we
struggle in vain. The clock strikes, and is the knell of our welfare. At the same time, it is the chanticleer --
note to the ghost that has so long overawed us. It flies -- it disappears -- we are free. The old energy
returns. We will labor now. Alas, it is too late!
We stand upon the brink of a precipice. We peer into the abyss -- we grow sick and dizzy. Our first impulse
is to shrink from the danger. Unaccountably we remain. By slow degrees our sickness and dizziness and
horror become merged in a cloud of unnamable feeling. By gradations, still more imperceptible, this cloud
assumes shape, as did the vapor from the bottle out of which arose the genius in the Arabian Nights. But
out of this our cloud upon the precipice's edge, there grows into palpability, a shape, far more terrible
than any genius or any demon of a tale, and yet it is but a thought, although a fearful one, and one which
chills the very marrow of our bones with the fierceness of the delight of its horror. It is merely the idea of
what would be our sensations during the sweeping precipitancy of a fall from such a height. And this fall -
- this rushing annihilation -- for the very reason that it involves that one most ghastly and loathsome of all
the most ghastly and loathsome images of death and suffering which have ever presented themselves to
our imagination -- for this very cause do we now the most vividly desire it. And because our reason
violently deters us from the brink, therefore do we the most impetuously approach it. There is no passion
in nature so demoniacally impatient, as that of him who, shuddering upon the edge of a precipice, thus
meditates a Plunge. To indulge, for a moment, in any attempt at thought, is to be inevitably lost; for
reflection but urges us to forbear, and therefore it is, I say, that we cannot. If there be no friendly arm to
check us, or if we fail in a sudden effort to prostrate ourselves backward from the abyss, we plunge, and
are destroyed.
Examine these similar actions as we will, we shall find them resulting solely from the spirit of the
Perverse. We perpetrate them because we feel that we should not. Beyond or behind this there is no
intelligible principle; and we might, indeed, deem this perverseness a direct instigation of the Arch-Fiend,
were it not occasionally known to operate in furtherance of good.
I have said thus much, that in some measure I may answer your question, that I may explain to you why I
am here, that I may assign to you something that shall have at least the faint aspect of a cause for my
wearing these fetters, and for my tenanting this cell of the condemned. Had I not been thus prolix, you
might either have misunderstood me altogether, or, with the rabble, have fancied me mad. As it is, you
will easily perceive that I am one of the many uncounted victims of the Imp of the Perverse.
It is impossible that any deed could have been wrought with a more thorough deliberation. For weeks, for
months, I pondered upon the means of the murder. I rejected a thousand schemes, because their
accomplishment involved a chance of detection. At length, in reading some French Memoirs, I found an
account of a nearly fatal illness that occurred to Madame Pilau, through the agency of a candle
accidentally poisoned. The idea struck my fancy at once. I knew my victim's habit of reading in bed. I
knew, too, that his apartment was narrow and ill-ventilated. But I need not vex you with impertinent
details. I need not describe the easy artifices by which I substituted, in his bed-room candle-stand, a wax-
light of my own making for the one which I there found. The next morning he was discovered dead in his
bed, and the Coroner's verdict was -- "Death by the visitation of God."
Having inherited his estate, all went well with me for years. The idea of detection never once entered my
brain. Of the remains of the fatal taper I had myself carefully disposed. I had left no shadow of a clew by
which it would be possible to convict, or even to suspect me of the crime. It is inconceivable how rich a
sentiment of satisfaction arose in my bosom as I reflected upon my absolute security. For a very long
period of time I was accustomed to revel in this sentiment. It afforded me more real delight than all the
mere worldly advantages accruing from my sin. But there arrived at length an epoch, from which the
pleasurable feeling grew, by scarcely perceptible gradations, into a haunting and harassing thought. It
harassed because it haunted. I could scarcely get rid of it for an instant. It is quite a common thing to be
thus annoyed with the ringing in our ears, or rather in our memories, of the burthen of some ordinary
song, or some unimpressive snatches from an opera. Nor will we be the less tormented if the song in itself
be good, or the opera air meritorious. In this manner, at last, I would perpetually catch myself pondering
upon my security, and repeating, in a low undertone, the phrase, "I am safe."
One day, whilst sauntering along the streets, I arrested myself in the act of murmuring, half aloud, these
customary syllables. In a fit of petulance, I remodelled them thus; "I am safe -- I am safe -- yes -- if I be not
fool enough to make open confession!"
No sooner had I spoken these words, than I felt an icy chill creep to my heart. I had had some experience
in these fits of perversity, (whose nature I have been at some trouble to explain), and I remembered well
that in no instance I had successfully resisted their attacks. And now my own casual self-suggestion that I
might possibly be fool enough to confess the murder of which I had been guilty, confronted me, as if the
very ghost of him whom I had murdered -- and beckoned me on to death.
At first, I made an effort to shake off this nightmare of the soul. I walked vigorously -- faster -- still faster -
- at length I ran. I felt a maddening desire to shriek aloud. Every succeeding wave of thought
overwhelmed me with new terror, for, alas! I well, too well understood that to think, in my situation, was
to be lost. I still quickened my pace. I bounded like a madman through the crowded thoroughfares. At
length, the populace took the alarm, and pursued me. I felt then the consummation of my fate. Could I
have torn out my tongue, I would have done it, but a rough voice resounded in my ears -- a rougher grasp
seized me by the shoulder. I turned -- I gasped for breath. For a moment I experienced all the pangs of
suffocation; I became blind, and deaf, and giddy; and then some invisible fiend, I thought, struck me with
his broad palm upon the back. The long imprisoned secret burst forth from my soul.
They say that I spoke with a distinct enunciation, but with marked emphasis and passionate hurry, as if in
dread of interruption before concluding the brief, but pregnant sentences that consigned me to the
hangman and to hell.
Having related all that was necessary for the fullest judicial conviction, I fell prostrate in a swoon.
But why shall I say more? To-day I wear these chains, and am here! To-morrow I shall be fetterless! -- but
where?
THE ISLAND OF THE FAY
"LA MUSIQUE," says Marmontel, in those "Contes Moraux" which in all our translations, we have insisted
upon calling "Moral Tales," as if in mockery of their spirit -- "la musique est le seul des talents qui
jouissent de lui-meme; tous les autres veulent des temoins." He here confounds the pleasure derivable
from sweet sounds with the capacity for creating them. No more than any other talent, is that for music
susceptible of complete enjoyment, where there is no second party to appreciate its exercise. And it is
only in common with other talents that it produces effects which may be fully enjoyed in solitude. The
idea which the raconteur has either failed to entertain clearly, or has sacrificed in its expression to his
national love of point, is, doubtless, the very tenable one that the higher order of music is the most
thoroughly estimated when we are exclusively alone. The proposition, in this form, will be admitted at
once by those who love the lyre for its own sake, and for its spiritual uses. But there is one pleasure still
within the reach of fallen mortality and perhaps only one -- which owes even more than does music to the
accessory sentiment of seclusion. I mean the happiness experienced in the contemplation of natural
scenery. In truth, the man who would behold aright the glory of God upon earth must in solitude behold
that glory. To me, at least, the presence -- not of human life only, but of life in any other form than that of
the green things which grow upon the soil and are voiceless -- is a stain upon the landscape -- is at war
with the genius of the scene. I love, indeed, to regard the dark valleys, and the gray rocks, and the waters
that silently smile, and the forests that sigh in uneasy slumbers, and the proud watchful mountains that
look down upon all, -- I love to regard these as themselves but the colossal members of one vast animate
and sentient whole -- a whole whose form (that of the sphere) is the most perfect and most inclusive of all;
whose path is among associate planets; whose meek handmaiden is the moon, whose mediate sovereign is
the sun; whose life is eternity, whose thought is that of a God; whose enjoyment is knowledge; whose
destinies are lost in immensity, whose cognizance of ourselves is akin with our own cognizance of the
animalculae which infest the brain -- a being which we, in consequence, regard as purely inanimate and
material much in the same manner as these animalculae must thus regard us.
Our telescopes and our mathematical investigations assure us on every hand -- notwithstanding the cant
of the more ignorant of the priesthood -- that space, and therefore that bulk, is an important consideration
in the eyes of the Almighty. The cycles in which the stars move are those best adapted for the evolution,
without collision, of the greatest possible number of bodies. The forms of those bodies are accurately
such as, within a given surface, to include the greatest possible amount of matter; -- while the surfaces
themselves are so disposed as to accommodate a denser population than could be accommodated on the
same surfaces otherwise arranged. Nor is it any argument against bulk being an object with God, that
space itself is infinite; for there may be an infinity of matter to fill it. And since we see clearly that the
endowment of matter with vitality is a principle -- indeed, as far as our judgments extend, the leading
principle in the operations of Deity, -- it is scarcely logical to imagine it confined to the regions of the
minute, where we daily trace it, and not extending to those of the august. As we find cycle within cycle
without end, -- yet all revolving around one far-distant centre which is the God-head, may we not
analogically suppose in the same manner, life within life, the less within the greater, and all within the
Spirit Divine? In short, we are madly erring, through self-esteem, in believing man, in either his temporal
or future destinies, to be of more moment in the universe than that vast "clod of the valley" which he tills
and contemns, and to which he denies a soul for no more profound reason than that he does not behold it
in operation.
These fancies, and such as these, have always given to my meditations among the mountains and the
forests, by the rivers and the ocean, a tinge of what the everyday world would not fail to term fantastic.
My wanderings amid such scenes have been many, and far-searching, and often solitary; and the interest
with which I have strayed through many a dim, deep valley, or gazed into the reflected Heaven of many a
bright lake, has been an interest greatly deepened by the thought that I have strayed and gazed alone.
What flippant Frenchman was it who said in allusion to the well-known work of Zimmerman, that, "la
solitude est une belle chose; mais il faut quelqu'un pour vous dire que la solitude est une belle chose?"
The epigram cannot be gainsayed; but the necessity is a thing that does not exist.
It was during one of my lonely journeyings, amid a far distant region of mountain locked within mountain,
and sad rivers and melancholy tarn writhing or sleeping within all -- that I chanced upon a certain rivulet
and island. I came upon them suddenly in the leafy June, and threw myself upon the turf, beneath the
branches of an unknown odorous shrub, that I might doze as I contemplated the scene. I felt that thus
only should I look upon it -- such was the character of phantasm which it wore.
On all sides -- save to the west, where the sun was about sinking -- arose the verdant walls of the forest.
The little river which turned sharply in its course, and was thus immediately lost to sight, seemed to have
no exit from its prison, but to be absorbed by the deep green foliage of the trees to the east -- while in the
opposite quarter (so it appeared to me as I lay at length and glanced upward) there poured down
noiselessly and continuously into the valley, a rich golden and crimson waterfall from the sunset fountains
of the sky.
About midway in the short vista which my dreamy vision took in, one small circular island, profusely
verdured, reposed upon the bosom of the stream.
That each seemed pendulous in air -- so mirror-like was the glassy water, that it was scarcely possible to
say at what point upon the slope of the emerald turf its crystal dominion began.
My position enabled me to include in a single view both the eastern and western extremities of the islet;
and I observed a singularly-marked difference in their aspects. The latter was all one radiant harem of
garden beauties. It glowed and blushed beneath the eyes of the slant sunlight, and fairly laughed with
flowers. The grass was short, springy, sweet-scented, and Asphodel-interspersed. The trees were lithe,
mirthful, erect -- bright, slender, and graceful, -- of eastern figure and foliage, with bark smooth, glossy,
and parti-colored. There seemed a deep sense of life and joy about all; and although no airs blew from out
the heavens, yet every thing had motion through the gentle sweepings to and fro of innumerable
butterflies, that might have been mistaken for tulips with wings.
The other or eastern end of the isle was whelmed in the blackest shade. A sombre, yet beautiful and
peaceful gloom here pervaded all things. The trees were dark in color, and mournful in form and attitude,
wreathing themselves into sad, solemn, and spectral shapes that conveyed ideas of mortal sorrow and
untimely death. The grass wore the deep tint of the cypress, and the heads of its blades hung droopingly,
and hither and thither among it were many small unsightly hillocks, low and narrow, and not very long,
that had the aspect of graves, but were not; although over and all about them the rue and the rosemary
clambered. The shade of the trees fell heavily upon the water, and seemed to bury itself therein,
impregnating the depths of the element with darkness. I fancied that each shadow, as the sun descended
lower and lower, separated itself sullenly from the trunk that gave it birth, and thus became absorbed by
the stream; while other shadows issued momently from the trees, taking the place of their predecessors
thus entombed.
This idea, having once seized upon my fancy, greatly excited it, and I lost myself forthwith in revery. "If
ever island were enchanted," said I to myself, "this is it. This is the haunt of the few gentle Fays who
remain from the wreck of the race. Are these green tombs theirs? -- or do they yield up their sweet lives
as mankind yield up their own? In dying, do they not rather waste away mournfully, rendering unto God,
little by little, their existence, as these trees render up shadow after shadow, exhausting their substance
unto dissolution? What the wasting tree is to the water that imbibes its shade, growing thus blacker by
what it preys upon, may not the life of the Fay be to the death which engulfs it?"
As I thus mused, with half-shut eyes, while the sun sank rapidly to rest, and eddying currents careered
round and round the island, bearing upon their bosom large, dazzling, white flakes of the bark of the
sycamore-flakes which, in their multiform positions upon the water, a quick imagination might have
converted into any thing it pleased, while I thus mused, it appeared to me that the form of one of those
very Fays about whom I had been pondering made its way slowly into the darkness from out the light at
the western end of the island. She stood erect in a singularly fragile canoe, and urged it with the mere
phantom of an oar. While within the influence of the lingering sunbeams, her attitude seemed indicative
of joy -- but sorrow deformed it as she passed within the shade. Slowly she glided along, and at length
rounded the islet and re-entered the region of light. "The revolution which has just been made by the
Fay," continued I, musingly, "is the cycle of the brief year of her life. She has floated through her winter
and through her summer. She is a year nearer unto Death; for I did not fail to see that, as she came into
the shade, her shadow fell from her, and was swallowed up in the dark water, making its blackness more
black."
And again the boat appeared and the Fay, but about the attitude of the latter there was more of care and
uncertainty and less of elastic joy. She floated again from out the light and into the gloom (which
deepened momently) and again her shadow fell from her into the ebony water, and became absorbed into
its blackness. And again and again she made the circuit of the island, (while the sun rushed down to his
slumbers), and at each issuing into the light there was more sorrow about her person, while it grew
feebler and far fainter and more indistinct, and at each passage into the gloom there fell from her a
darker shade, which became whelmed in a shadow more black. But at length when the sun had utterly
departed, the Fay, now the mere ghost of her former self, went disconsolately with her boat into the
region of the ebony flood, and that she issued thence at all I cannot say, for darkness fell over an things
and I beheld her magical figure no more.
KING PEST: A TALE CONTAINING AN ALLEGORY
About twelve o'clock, one night in the month of October, and during the chivalrous reign of the third
Edward, two seamen belonging to the crew of the Free and Easy, a trading schooner plying between Sluys
and the Thames, and then at anchor in that river, were much astonished to find themselves seated in the
tap-room of an ale-house in the parish of St Andrews, London -- which ale-house bore for sign the
portraiture of a 'Jolly Tar'.
The room, although ill-contrived, smoke-blackened, low-pitched, and in every other respect agreeing with
the general character of such places of the period -- was nevertheless, in the opinion of the grotesque
groups scattered here and there within it, sufficiently well adapted to its purpose.
Of these groups our two seamen formed, I think,the most interesting, if not the most conspicuous.
The one who appeared to be the elder, and whom his companion addressed by the characteristic
appellation of 'Legs', was at the same time much the taller of the two. He might have measured six feet
and a half, and an habitual stoop in the shoulders seemed to have been the necessary consequence of an
altitude so enormous. Superfluities in height were, however, more than accounted for by deficiencies in
other respects. He was exceedingly thin; and might, as his associates asserted, have answered, when
drunk, for a pennant at the mast-head, or, when sober, have served for a jib-boom. But these jests, and
others of a similar nature, had evidently produced, at no time, any effect upon the cachinnatory muscles
of the tar. With high cheek-bones, a large hawk-nose, retreating chin, fallen under-jaw, and huge
protruding white eyes, the expression of his countenance, although tinged with a species of dogged
indifference to matters and things in general, was not the less utterly solemn and serious beyond all
attempts at imitation or description.
The younger seaman was, in all outward appearance, the converse of his companion. His stature could
not have exceeded four feet. A pair of stumpy bow legs supported his squat, unwieldy figure, while his
unusually short and thick arms, with no ordinary fists at their extremities, swung off dangling from his
sides like the fins of a sea-turtle. Small eyes, of no particular colour, twinkled far back in his head. His
nose remained buried in the mass of flesh which enveloped his round, full, and purple face; and his thick
upper-lip rested upon the still thicker one beneath with an air of complacent self-satisfaction, much
heightened by the owner's habit of licking them at intervals. He evidently regarded his tall shipmate with
a feeling half-wondrous half-quizzical; and stared up occasionally in his face as the red setting sun stares
up at the crags of Ben Nevis.
Various and eventful, however, had been the peregrinations of the worthy couple in and about the
different tap-houses of the neighbourhood during the earlier hours of the night. Funds, even the most
ample, are not always everlasting; and it was with empty pockets our friends had ventured upon the
present hostelrie.
At the precise period, then, when this history properly commences, Legs, and his fellow, Hugh Tarpaulin,
sat, each with both elbows resting upon the large oak table in the middle of the floor, and with a hand
upon either cheek. They were eyeing, from behind a huge flagon of unpaid-for 'humming-stuff', the
portentous words, 'No Chalk', which to their indignation and astonishment were scored over the door-way
by means of that very mineral whose presence they purported to deny. Not that the gift of deciphering
written characters -- a gift among the commonalty of that day considered little less cabalistical than the
art of inditing -- could, in strict justice, have been laid to the charge of either disciple of the sea; but there
was, to say the truth, a certain twist in the formation of the letters -- an indescribable lee-lurch about the
whole -- which foreboded, in the opinion of both seamen, a long run of dirty weather; and determined
them at once, in the allegorical words of Legs himself, to 'clew up all sail, and scud before the wind'.
Having accordingly disposed of what remained of the ale, and looped up the points of their short
doublets, they finally made a bolt for the street. Although Tarpaulin rolled twice into the fireplace,
mistaking it for the door, yet their escape was at length happily effected -- and half after twelve o'clock
found our heroes ripe for mischief, and running for life down a dark alley in the direction of St Andrew's
Stair, hotly pursued by the landlady of the 'Jolly Tar'.
At the epoch of this eventful tale, and periodically, for many years before and after, all England, but more
especially the metropolis, resounded with the fearful cry of 'Plague!' The city was in a great measure
depopulated -- and in those horrible regions, in the vicinity of the Thames, where, amid the dark, narrow,
and filthy lanes and alleys, the Demon of Disease was supposed to have had his nativity, Awe, Terror, and
Superstition were alone to be found stalking abroad.
By authority of the king such districts were placed under ban, and all persons forbidden, under pain of
death, to intrude upon their dismal solitude. Yet neither the mandate of the monarch, nor the huge
barriers erected at the entrances of the streets, nor the prospect of that loathsome death which, with
almost absolute certainty, overwhelmed the wretch whom no peril could deter from the adventure,
prevented the unfurnished and untenanted dwellings from being stripped, by the hand of nightly rapine,
of every article, such as iron, brass, or lead-work, which could in any manner be turned to a profitable
account.
Above all, it was usually found, upon the annual winter opening of the barriers, that locks, bolts, and
secret cellars had proved but slender protection to those rich stores of wines and liquors which, in
consideration of the risk and trouble of removal, many of the numerous dealers having shops in the
neighbourhood had consented to trust, during the period of exile, to so insufficient security.
But there were very few of the terror-stricken people who attributed these doings to the agency of human
hands. Pest-spirits, plague-goblins, and fever-demons were the popular imps of mischief; and tales so
blood-chilling were hourly told, that the whole mass of forbidden buildings was, at length, enveloped in
terror as in a shroud, and the plunderer himself was often scared away by the horrors his own
depredations had created; leaving the entire vast circuit of prohibited district to gloom, silence,
pestilence, and death.
It was by one of the terrific barriers already mentioned, and which indicated the region beyond to be
under the Pest-ban, that, in scrambling down an alley, Legs and the worthy Hugh Tarpaulin found their
progress suddenly impeded. To return was out of the question, and no time was to be lost, as their
pursuers were close upon their heels. With thorough-bred seamen to clamber up the roughly fashioned
plank-work was a trifle; and maddened with the twofold excitement of exercise and liquor, they leaped
unhesitatingly down within the enclosure, and holding on their drunken course with shouts and yellings,
were soon bewildered in its noisome and intricate recesses.
Had they not, indeed, been intoxicated beyond moral sense, their reeling footsteps must have been
palsied by the horrors of their situation. The air was cold and misty. The paving-stones, loosened from
their beds, lay in wild disorder amid the tall, rank grass, which sprang up around the feet and ankles.
Fallen houses choked up the streets. The most fetid and poisonous smells everywhere prevailed: and by
the aid of that ghastly light which, even at midnight, never fails to emanate from a vapoury and
pestilential atmosphere, might be discerned lying in the by-paths and alleys, or rotting in the windowless
habitations, the carcass of many a nocturnal plunderer arrested by the hand of the plague in the very
perpetration of his robbery.
But it lay not in the power of the images, or sensations, or impediments such as these, to stay the course
of men who, naturally brave, and at that time especially, brimful of courage and of 'humming-stuff', would
have reeled, as straight as their condition might have permitted, undauntedly into the very jaws of Death.
Onward -- still onward stalked the grim Legs, making the desolate solemnity echo and re-echo with yells
like the terrific war-whoop of the Indian; and onward, still onward rolled the dumpy Tarpaulin, hanging on
to the doublet of his more active companion, and far surpassing the latter's most strenuous exertions in
the way of vocal music, by bull-roarings in basso, from the profundity of his stentorian lungs.
They had now evidently reached the stronghold of the pestilence. Their way at every step or plunge grew
more noisome and more horrible -- the paths more narrow and more intricate. Huge stones and beams
falling momently from the decaying roofs above them, gave evidence, by their sullen and heavy descent,
of the vast height of the surrounding houses; and while actual exertion became necessary to force a
passage through frequent heaps of rubbish, it was by no means seldom that the hand fell upon a skeleton
or rested upon a more fleshy corpse.
Suddenly, as the seamen stumbled against the entrance of a tall and ghastly-looking building, a yell more
than usually shrill from the throat of the excited Legs, was replied to from within, in a rapid succession of
wild, laughter-like, and fiendish shrieks. Nothing daunted at sounds which, of such a nature, at such a
time, and in such a place, might have curdled the very blood in hearts less irrevocably on fire, the
drunken couple rushed headlong against the door, burst it open, and staggered into the midst of things
with a volley of curses.
The room within which they found themselves proved to be the shop of an undertaker; but an open trap-
door, in the corner of the floor near the entrance, looked down upon a long range of wine-cellars, whose
depths the occasional sound of bursting bottles proclaimed to be well stored with their appropriate
contents. In the middle of the room stood a table -- in the centre of which again arose a huge tub of what
appeared to be punch. Bottles of various wines and cordials, together with jugs, pitchers, and flagons of
every shape and quality, were scattered profusely upon the board. Around it, upon coffin-tressels, was
seated a company of six. This company I will endeavour to delineate one by one.
Fronting the entrance, and elevated a little above his companions, sat a personage who appeared to be
the president of the table. His stature was gaunt and tall, and Legs was confounded to behold in him a
figure more emaciated than himself. His face was as yellow as saffron -- but no feature excepting one
alone, was sufficiently marked to merit a particular description. This one consisted in a forehead so
unusually and hideously lofty, as to have the appearance of a bonnet or crown of flesh superadded upon
the natural head. His mouth was puckered and dimpled into an expression of ghastly affability, and his
eyes, as indeed the eyes of all at table, were glazed over with the fumes of intoxication. This gentleman
was clothed from head to foot in a richly-embroidered black silk-velvet pall, wrapped negligently around
his form after the fashion of a Spanish cloak. His head was stuck full of sable hearse-plumes, which he
nodded to and fro with a jaunty and knowing air; and, in his right hand, he held a huge human thigh-bone,
with which he appeared to have been just knocking down some member of the company for a song.
Opposite him, and with her back to the door, was a lady of no whit less extraordinary character. Although
quite as tall as the person just described, she had no right to complain of his unnatural emaciation. She
was evidently in the last stage of a dropsy; and her figure resembled nearly that of the huge puncheon of
October beer which stood, with the head driven in, close by her side, in a corner of the chamber. Her face
was exceedingly round, red, and full; and the same peculiarity, or rather want of peculiarity, attached
itself to her countenance, which I before mentioned in the case of the president -- that is to say, only one
feature of her face was sufficiently distinguished to need a separate characterization: indeed the acute
Tarpaulin immediately observed that the same remark might have applied to each individual person of the
party, every one of whom seemed to possess a monopoly of some particular portion of physiognomy. With
the lady in question this portion proved to be the mouth. Commencing at the right ear, it swept with a
terrific chasm to the left -- the short pendants which she wore in either auricle continually bobbing into
the aperture. She made, however, every exertion to keep her mouth closed and look dignified, in a dress
consisting of a newly-starched and ironed shroud coming up close under her chin, with a crimpled ruffle
of cambric muslin.
At her right hand sat a diminutive young lady whom she appeared to patronize. This delicate little
creature, in the trembling of her wasted fingers, in the livid hue of her lips, and in the slight hectic spot
which tinged her otherwise leaden complexion, gave evident indications of a galloping consumption. An
air of extreme haut ton, however, pervaded her whole appearance; she wore, in a graceful and degage
manner, a large and beautiful winding-sheet of the finest India lawn; her hair hung in ringlets over her
neck; a soft smile played about her mouth; but her nose, extremely long, thin, sinuous, flexible, and
pimpled, hung down far below her under-lip, and, in spite of the delicate manner in which she now and
then moved it to one side or the other with her tongue, gave to her countenance a somewhat equivocal
expression.
Over against her, and upon the left of the dropsical lady, was seated a little puffy, wheezing, and gouty old
man, whose cheeks reposed upon the shoulders of their owner, like two huge bladders of Oporto wine.
With his arms folded, and with one bandaged leg deposited upon the table, he seemed to think himself
entitled to some consideration. He evidently prided himself much upon every inch of his personal
appearance, but took more especial delight in calling attention to his gaudy-colored surtout. This, to say
the truth, must have cost him no little money, and was made to fit him exceedingly well -- being fashioned
from one of the curiously embroidered silken covers appertaining to those glorious escutcheons which, in
England and elsewhere, are customarily hung up, in some conspicuous place, upon the dwellings of
departed aristocracy.
Next to him, and at the right hand of the president, was a gentleman in long white hose and cotton
drawers. His frame shook, in a ridiculous manner, with a fit of what Tarpaulin called 'the horrors'. His
jaws, which had been newly shaved, were tightly tied up by a bandage of muslin; and his arms being
fastened in a similar way at the wrists, prevented him from helping himself too freely to the liquors upon
the table; a precaution rendered necessary, in the opinion of Legs, by the peculiarly sottish and wine-
bibbing cast of his visage. A pair of prodigious ears, nevertheless, which it was no doubt found impossible
to confine, towered away into the atmosphere of the apartment, and were occasionally pricked up in a
spasm at the sound of the drawing of a cork.
Fronting him, sixthly and lastly, was situated a singularly stiff-looking personage, who, being afflicted
with paralysis, must, to speak seriously, have felt very ill at ease in his unaccommodating habiliments. He
was habited, somewhat uniquely, in a new and handsome mahogany coffin. Its top or head-piece pressed
upon the skull of the wearer, and extended over it in the fashion of a hood, giving to the entire face an air
of indescribable interest. Arm-holes had been cut in the sides for the sake not more of elegance than of
convenience; but the dress, nevertheless, prevented its proprietor from sitting as erect as his associates;
and as he lay reclining against his tressel, at an angle of forty-five degrees, a pair of huge goggle eyes
rolled up their awful whites towards the ceiling in absolute amazement at their own enormity.
Before each of the party lay a portion of a skull, which was used as a drinking-cup. Overhead was
suspended a human skeleton, by means of a rope tied round one of the legs and fastened to a ring in the
ceiling. The other limb, confined by no such fetter, stuck off from the body at right angles, causing the
whole loose and rattling frame to dangle and twirl about at the caprice of every occasional puff of wind
which found its way into the apartment. In the cranium of this hideous thing lay a quantity of ignited
charcoal, which threw a fitful but vivid light over the entire scene; while coffins, and other wares
appertaining to the shop of an undertaker, were piled high up around the room, and against the windows,
preventing any ray escaping into the street.
At sight of this extraordinary assembly, and of their still more extraordinary paraphernalia, our two
seamen did not conduct themselves with that degree of decorum which might have been expected. Legs,
leaning against the wall near which he happened to be standing, dropped his lower jaw still lower than
usual, and spread open his eyes to their fullest extent; while Hugh Tarpaulin, stooping down so as to
bring his nose upon a level with the table, and spreading out a palm upon either knee, burst into a long,
loud, and obstreperous roar of very ill-timed and immoderate laughter.
Without, however, taking offence at behaviour so excessively rude, the tall president smiled very
graciously upon the intruders -- nodded to them in a dignified manner with his head of sable plumes --
and, arising, took each by the arm, and led him to a seat which some others of the company had placed in
the meantime for his accommodation. Legs to all this offered not the slightest resistance, but sat down as
he was directed; while the gallant Hugh, removing his coffin-tressel from its station near the head of the
table, to the vicinity of the little consumptive lady in the winding-sheet, plumped down by her side in high
glee, and pouring out a skull of red wine, quaffed it to their better acquaintance. But at this presumption
the stiff gentleman in the coffin seemed exceedingly nettled; and serious consequences might have
ensued, had not the president, rapping upon the table with his truncheon, diverted the attention of all
present to the following speech:
'It becomes our duty upon the present happy occasion -- '
'Avast there!' interrupted Legs, looking very serious, 'avast there a bit, I say, and tell us who the devil ye
all are, and what business ye have here, rigged off like the foul fiends, and swilling the snug blue ruin
stowed away for the winter by my honest shipmate, Will Wimble, the undertaker!'
At this unpardonable piece of ill-breeding, all the original company half-started to their feet, and uttered
the same rapid succession of wild fiendish shrieks which had before caught the attention of the seamen.
The president, however, was the first to recover his composure, and at length, turning to Legs with great
dignity, recommenced:
'Most willingly will we gratify any reasonable curiosity on the part of guests so illustrious, unbidden
though they be. Know then that in these dominions I am monarch, and here rule with undivided empire
under the title of "King Pest the First".
'This apartment, which you no doubt profanely suppose to be the shop of Will Wimble the undertaker -- a
man whom we know not, and whose plebeian appellation has never before this night thwarted our royal
ears -- this apartment, I say, is the Dais-Chamber of our Palace, devoted to the councils of our kingdom,
and to other sacred and lofty purposes.
'The noble lady who sits opposite is Queen Pest, our Serene Consort. The other exalted personages whom
you behold are all of our family, and wear the insignia of the blood royal under the respective titles of "His
Grace the Arch Duke Pest-Iferous" -- "His Grace the Duke Pest-Ilential" -- "His Grace the Duke Tem-Pest" -
- and "Her Serene Highness the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest".
'As regards,' continued he, 'your demand of the business upon which we sit here in council, we might be
pardoned for replying that it concerns, and concerns alone, our own private and regal interest, and is in
no manner important to any other than ourself. But in consideration of those rights to which as guests
and strangers you may feel yourselves entitled, we will furthermore explain that we are here this night,
prepared by deep research and accurate investigation, to examine, analyse, and thoroughly determine the
indefinable spirit -- the incomprehensible qualities and nature -- of those inestimable treasures of the
palate, the wines, ales, and liqueurs of this goodly metropolis: by so doing to advance not more our own
designs than the true welfare of that unearthly sovereign whose reign is over us all, whose dominions are
unlimited, and whose name is "Death".'
'Whose name is Davy Jones!' ejaculated Tarpaulin, helping the lady by his side to a skull of liqueur, and
pouring out a second for himself.
'Profane varlet!' said the president, now turning his attention to the worthy Hugh, 'profane and execrable
wretch! -- we have said, that in consideration of those rights which, even in thy filthy person, we feel no
inclination to violate, we have condescended to make reply to thy rude and unreasonable inquiries. We
nevertheless, for your unhallowed intrusion upon our councils, believe it our duty to mulct thee and thy
companion in each a gallon of Black Strap -- having imbibed which to the prosperity of our kingdom -- at a
single draught -- and upon your bended knees -- ye shall be forthwith free either to proceed upon your
way, or remain and be admitted to the privileges of our table, according to your respective and individual
pleasures.'
'It would be a matter of utter impossibility,' replied Legs, whom the assumptions and dignity of King Pest
the First had evidently inspired with some feelings of respect, and who arose and steadied himself by the
table as he spoke -- 'it would, please your majesty, be a matter of utter impossibility to stow away in my
hold even one-fourth party of that same liquor which your majesty has just mentioned. To say nothing of
the stuffs placed on board in the forenoon by way of ballast, and not to mention the various ales and
liqueurs shipped this evening at various seaports, I have, at present, a full cargo of "humming-stuff" taken
in and duly paid for at the sign of the "Jolly Tar". You will, therefore, please your majesty, be so good as to
take the will for the deed -- for by no manner of means either can I or will I swallow another drop -- least
of all a drop of that villainous bilge-water that answers to the name of "Black Strap".'
'Belay that,' interrupted Tarpaulin, astonished not more at the length of his companion's speech than at
the nature of his refusal -- 'Belay that, you lubber! -- and I say, Legs, none of your palaver. My hull is still
light, although I confess you yourself seem to be a little top-heavy; and as far as the matter of your share
of the cargo, why rather than raise a squall I would find stowage-room for it myself, but -- '
'This proceeding,' interposed the president, 'is by no means in accordance with the terms of the mulct or
sentence, which is in its nature Median, and not to be altered or recalled. The conditions we have
imposed must be fulfilled to the letter, and that without a moment's hesitation -- in failure of which
fulfilment we decree that you do here be tied neck and heels together, and duly drowned as rebels in yon
hogshead of October beer!'
'A sentence! -- a sentence! -- a righteous and just sentence! -- a glorious decree! -- a most worthy and
upright and holy condemnation!' shouted the Pest family together. The king elevated his forehead into
innumerable wrinkles; the gouty little old man puffed like a pair of bellows; the lady of the winding-sheet
waved her nose to and fro; the gentleman in the cotton drawers pricked up his ears; she of the shroud
gasped like a dying fish; and he of the coffin looked stiff and rolled up his eyes.
'Ugh! ugh! ugh!' chuckled Tarpaulin, without heeding the general excitation, 'ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh!
ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh! -- I was saying,' said he -- 'I was saying when Mr. King Pest poked in his
marlinspike, that as for the matter of two or three gallons more or less of Black Strap, it was a trifle to a
tight sea-boat like myself not overstowed -- but when it comes to drinking the health of the Devil (whom
God assoilzie) and going down upon my marrow-bones to his ill-favoured majesty there, whom I know, as
well as I know myself to be a sinner, to be nobody in the whole world but Tim Hurlygurly the stage-player!
-- why! it's quite another guess sort of a thing, and utterly and altogether past my comprehension.'
He was not allowed to finish this speech in tranquility. At the name of Tim Hurlygurly the whole assembly
leaped from their seats.
'Treason! treason!' shrieked her majesty of the mouth, and, seizing by the hinder part of his breeches the
unfortunate Tarpaulin, who had just commenced pouring out for himself a skull of liqueur, she lifted him
high into the air, and let him fall without ceremony into the huge open puncheon of his beloved ale.
Bobbing up and down, for a few seconds, like an apple in a bowl of toddy, he, at length, finally
disappeared amid the whirlpool of foam which, in the already effervescent liquor, his struggles easily
succeeded in creating.
Not tamely, however, did the tall seaman behold the discomfiture of his companion. Jostling King Pest
through the open trap, the valiant Legs slammed the door down upon him with an oath, and strode
towards the centre of the room. Here tearing down the skeleton which swung over the table, he laid it
about him with so much energy and good-will that, as the last glimpses of light died away within the
apartment, he succeeded in knocking out the brains of the little gentleman with the gout. Rushing then
with all his force against the fatal hogshead full of October ale and Hugh Tarpaulin, he rolled it over and
over in an instant. Out poured a deluge of liquor so fierce -- so impetuous -- so overwhelming -- that the
room was flooded from wall to wall -- the loaded table was overturned -- the tressels were thrown upon
their backs -- the tub of punch into the fire-place -- and the ladies into hysterics. Piles of death-furniture
floundered about. Jugs, pitchers, and carboys mingled promiscuously in the melee, and wicker flagons
encountered desperately with bottles of junk. The man with the horrors was drowned upon the spot -- the
little stiff gentleman floated off in his coffin -- and the victorious Legs, seizing by the waist the fat lady in
the shroud, rushed out with her into the street, and made a bee-line for the Free and Easy, followed under
easy sail by the redoubtable Hugh Tarpaulin, who, having sneezed three or four times, panted and puffed
after him with the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.
LANDOR'S COTTAGE
DURING A pedestrian trip last summer, through one or two of the river counties of New York, I found
myself, as the day declined, somewhat embarrassed about the road I was pursuing. The land undulated
very remarkably; and my path, for the last hour, had wound about and about so confusedly, in its effort to
keep in the valleys, that I no longer knew in what direction lay the sweet village of B-, where I had
determined to stop for the night. The sun had scarcely shone -- strictly speaking -- during the day, which
nevertheless, had been unpleasantly warm. A smoky mist, resembling that of the Indian summer,
enveloped all things, and of course, added to my uncertainty. Not that I cared much about the matter. If I
did not hit upon the village before sunset, or even before dark, it was more than possible that a little
Dutch farmhouse, or something of that kind, would soon make its appearance -- although, in fact, the
neighborhood (perhaps on account of being more picturesque than fertile) was very sparsely inhabited. At
all events, with my knapsack for a pillow, and my hound as a sentry, a bivouac in the open air was just the
thing which would have amused me. I sauntered on, therefore, quite at ease -- Ponto taking charge of my
gun -- until at length, just as I had begun to consider whether the numerous little glades that led hither
and thither, were intended to be paths at all, I was conducted by one of them into an unquestionable
carriage track. There could be no mistaking it. The traces of light wheels were evident; and although the
tall shrubberies and overgrown undergrowth met overhead, there was no obstruction whatever below,
even to the passage of a Virginian mountain wagon -- the most aspiring vehicle, I take it, of its kind. The
road, however, except in being open through the wood -- if wood be not too weighty a name for such an
assemblage of light trees -- and except in the particulars of evident wheel-tracks -- bore no resemblance
to any road I had before seen. The tracks of which I speak were but faintly perceptible -- having been
impressed upon the firm, yet pleasantly moist surface of -- what looked more like green Genoese velvet
than any thing else. It was grass, clearly -- but grass such as we seldom see out of England -- so short, so
thick, so even, and so vivid in color. Not a single impediment lay in the wheel-route -- not even a chip or
dead twig. The stones that once obstructed the way had been carefully placed -- not thrown-along the
sides of the lane, so as to define its boundaries at bottom with a kind of half-precise, half-negligent, and
wholly picturesque definition. Clumps of wild flowers grew everywhere, luxuriantly, in the interspaces.
What to make of all this, of course I knew not. Here was art undoubtedly -- that did not surprise me -- all
roads, in the ordinary sense, are works of art; nor can I say that there was much to wonder at in the mere
excess of art manifested; all that seemed to have been done, might have been done here -- with such
natural "capabilities" (as they have it in the books on Landscape Gardening) -- with very little labor and
expense. No; it was not the amount but the character of the art which caused me to take a seat on one of
the blossomy stones and gaze up and down this fairy -- like avenue for half an hour or more in bewildered
admiration. One thing became more and more evident the longer I gazed: an artist, and one with a most
scrupulous eye for form, had superintended all these arrangements. The greatest care had been taken to
preserve a due medium between the neat and graceful on the one hand, and the pittoresque, in the true
sense of the Italian term, on the other. There were few straight, and no long uninterrupted lines. The
same effect of curvature or of color appeared twice, usually, but not oftener, at any one point of view.
Everywhere was variety in uniformity. It was a piece of "composition," in which the most fastidiously
critical taste could scarcely have suggested an emendation.
I had turned to the right as I entered this road, and now, arising, I continued in the same direction. The
path was so serpentine, that at no moment could I trace its course for more than two or three paces in
advance. Its character did not undergo any material change.
Presently the murmur of water fell gently upon my ear -- and in a few moments afterward, as I turned
with the road somewhat more abruptly than hitherto, I became aware that a building of some kind lay at
the foot of a gentle declivity just before me. I could see nothing distinctly on account of the mist which
occupied all the little valley below. A gentle breeze, however, now arose, as the sun was about
descending; and while I remained standing on the brow of the slope, the fog gradually became dissipated
into wreaths, and so floated over the scene.
As it came fully into view -- thus gradually as I describe it -- piece by piece, here a tree, there a glimpse of
water, and here again the summit of a chimney, I could scarcely help fancying that the whole was one of
the ingenious illusions sometimes exhibited under the name of "vanishing pictures."
By the time, however, that the fog had thoroughly disappeared, the sun had made its way down behind
the gentle hills, and thence, as it with a slight chassez to the south, had come again fully into sight,
glaring with a purplish lustre through a chasm that entered the valley from the west. Suddenly, therefore
-- and as if by the hand of magic -- this whole valley and every thing in it became brilliantly visible.
The first coup d'oeil, as the sun slid into the position described, impressed me very much as I have been
impressed, when a boy, by the concluding scene of some well-arranged theatrical spectacle or
melodrama. Not even the monstrosity of color was wanting; for the sunlight came out through the chasm,
tinted all orange and purple; while the vivid green of the grass in the valley was reflected more or less
upon all objects from the curtain of vapor that still hung overhead, as if loth to take its total departure
from a scene so enchantingly beautiful.
The little vale into which I thus peered down from under the fog canopy could not have been more than
four hundred yards long; while in breadth it varied from fifty to one hundred and fifty or perhaps two
hundred. It was most narrow at its northern extremity, opening out as it tended southwardly, but with no
very precise regularity. The widest portion was within eighty yards of the southern extreme. The slopes
which encompassed the vale could not fairly be called hills, unless at their northern face. Here a
precipitous ledge of granite arose to a height of some ninety feet; and, as I have mentioned, the valley at
this point was not more than fifty feet wide; but as the visiter proceeded southwardly from the cliff, he
found on his right hand and on his left, declivities at once less high, less precipitous, and less rocky. All, in
a word, sloped and softened to the south; and yet the whole vale was engirdled by eminences, more or
less high, except at two points. One of these I have already spoken of. It lay considerably to the north of
west, and was where the setting sun made its way, as I have before described, into the amphitheatre,
through a cleanly cut natural cleft in the granite embankment; this fissure might have been ten yards
wide at its widest point, so far as the eye could trace it. It seemed to lead up, up like a natural causeway,
into the recesses of unexplored mountains and forests. The other opening was directly at the southern
end of the vale. Here, generally, the slopes were nothing more than gentle inclinations, extending from
east to west about one hundred and fifty yards. In the middle of this extent was a depression, level with
the ordinary floor of the valley. As regards vegetation, as well as in respect to every thing else, the scene
softened and sloped to the south. To the north -- on the craggy precipice -- a few paces from the verge --
up sprang the magnificent trunks of numerous hickories, black walnuts, and chestnuts, interspersed with
occasional oak, and the strong lateral branches thrown out by the walnuts especially, spread far over the
edge of the cliff. Proceeding southwardly, the explorer saw, at first, the same class of trees, but less and
less lofty and Salvatorish in character; then he saw the gentler elm, succeeded by the sassafras and locust
-- these again by the softer linden, red-bud, catalpa, and maple -- these yet again by still more graceful
and more modest varieties. The whole face of the southern declivity was covered with wild shrubbery
alone -- an occasional silver willow or white poplar excepted. In the bottom of the valley itself -- (for it
must be borne in mind that the vegetation hitherto mentioned grew only on the cliffs or hillsides) -- were
to be seen three insulated trees. One was an elm of fine size and exquisite form: it stood guard over the
southern gate of the vale. Another was a hickory, much larger than the elm, and altogether a much finer
tree, although both were exceedingly beautiful: it seemed to have taken charge of the northwestern
entrance, springing from a group of rocks in the very jaws of the ravine, and throwing its graceful body, at
an angle of nearly forty-five degrees, far out into the sunshine of the amphitheatre. About thirty yards
east of this tree stood, however, the pride of the valley, and beyond all question the most magnificent tree
I have ever seen, unless, perhaps, among the cypresses of the Itchiatuckanee. It was a triple -- stemmed
tulip-tree -- the Liriodendron Tulipiferum -- one of the natural order of magnolias. Its three trunks
separated from the parent at about three feet from the soil, and diverging very slightly and gradually,
were not more than four feet apart at the point where the largest stem shot out into foliage: this was at
an elevation of about eighty feet. The whole height of the principal division was one hundred and twenty
feet. Nothing can surpass in beauty the form, or the glossy, vivid green of the leaves of the tulip-tree. In
the present instance they were fully eight inches wide; but their glory was altogether eclipsed by the
gorgeous splendor of the profuse blossoms. Conceive, closely congregated, a million of the largest and
most resplendent tulips! Only thus can the reader get any idea of the picture I would convey. And then the
stately grace of the clean, delicately -- granulated columnar stems, the largest four feet in diameter, at
twenty from the ground. The innumerable blossoms, mingling with those of other trees scarcely less
beautiful, although infinitely less majestic, filled the valley with more than Arabian perfumes.
The general floor of the amphitheatre was grass of the same character as that I had found in the road; if
anything, more deliciously soft, thick, velvety, and miraculously green. It was hard to conceive how all this
beauty had been attained.
I have spoken of two openings into the vale. From the one to the northwest issued a rivulet, which came,
gently murmuring and slightly foaming, down the ravine, until it dashed against the group of rocks out of
which sprang the insulated hickory. Here, after encircling the tree, it passed on a little to the north of
east, leaving the tulip tree some twenty feet to the south, and making no decided alteration in its course
until it came near the midway between the eastern and western boundaries of the valley. At this point,
after a series of sweeps, it turned off at right angles and pursued a generally southern direction
meandering as it went -- until it became lost in a small lake of irregular figure (although roughly oval),
that lay gleaming near the lower extremity of the vale. This lakelet was, perhaps, a hundred yards in
diameter at its widest part. No crystal could be clearer than its waters. Its bottom, which could be
distinctly seen, consisted altogether, of pebbles brilliantly white. Its banks, of the emerald grass already
described, rounded, rather than sloped, off into the clear heaven below; and so clear was this heaven, so
perfectly, at times, did it reflect all objects above it, that where the true bank ended and where the mimic
one commenced, it was a point of no little difficulty to determine. The trout, and some other varieties of
fish, with which this pond seemed to be almost inconveniently crowded, had all the appearance of
veritable flying-fish. It was almost impossible to believe that they were not absolutely suspended in the
air. A light birch canoe that lay placidly on the water, was reflected in its minutest fibres with a fidelity
unsurpassed by the most exquisitely polished mirror. A small island, fairly laughing with flowers in full
bloom, and affording little more space than just enough for a picturesque little building, seemingly a fowl-
house -- arose from the lake not far from its northern shore -- to which it was connected by means of an
inconceivably light -- looking and yet very primitive bridge. It was formed of a single, broad and thick
plank of the tulip wood. This was forty feet long, and spanned the interval between shore and shore with
a slight but very perceptible arch, preventing all oscillation. From the southern extreme of the lake issued
a continuation of the rivulet, which, after meandering for, perhaps, thirty yards, finally passed through
the "depression" (already described) in the middle of the southern declivity, and tumbling down a sheer
precipice of a hundred feet, made its devious and unnoticed way to the Hudson.
The lake was deep -- at some points thirty feet -- but the rivulet seldom exceeded three, while its greatest
width was about eight. Its bottom and banks were as those of the pond -- if a defect could have been
attributed, in point of picturesqueness, it was that of excessive neatness.
The expanse of the green turf was relieved, here and there, by an occasional showy shrub, such as the
hydrangea, or the common snowball, or the aromatic seringa; or, more frequently, by a clump of
geraniums blossoming gorgeously in great varieties. These latter grew in pots which were carefully
buried in the soil, so as to give the plants the appearance of being indigenous. Besides all this, the lawn's
velvet was exquisitely spotted with sheep -- a considerable flock of which roamed about the vale, in
company with three tamed deer, and a vast number of brilliantly -- plumed ducks. A very large mastiff
seemed to be in vigilant attendance upon these animals, each and all.
Along the eastern and western cliffs -- where, toward the upper portion of the amphitheatre, the
boundaries were more or less precipitous -- grew ivy in great profusion -- so that only here and there
could even a glimpse of the naked rock be obtained. The northern precipice, in like manner, was almost
entirely clothed by grape-vines of rare luxuriance; some springing from the soil at the base of the cliff,
and others from ledges on its face.
The slight elevation which formed the lower boundary of this little domain, was crowned by a neat stone
wall, of sufficient height to prevent the escape of the deer. Nothing of the fence kind was observable
elsewhere; for nowhere else was an artificial enclosure needed: -- any stray sheep, for example, which
should attempt to make its way out of the vale by means of the ravine, would find its progress arrested,
after a few yards' advance, by the precipitous ledge of rock over which tumbled the cascade that had
arrested my attention as I first drew near the domain. In short, the only ingress or egress was through a
gate occupying a rocky pass in the road, a few paces below the point at which I stopped to reconnoitre
the scene.
I have described the brook as meandering very irregularly through the whole of its course. Its two
general directions, as I have said, were first from west to east, and then from north to south. At the turn,
the stream, sweeping backward, made an almost circular loop, so as to form a peninsula which was very
nearly an island, and which included about the sixteenth of an acre. On this peninsula stood a dwelling-
house -- and when I say that this house, like the infernal terrace seen by Vathek, "etait d'une architecture
inconnue dans les annales de la terre," I mean, merely, that its tout ensemble struck me with the keenest
sense of combined novelty and propriety -- in a word, of poetry -- (for, than in the words just employed, I
could scarcely give, of poetry in the abstract, a more rigorous definition) -- and I do not mean that merely
outre was perceptible in any respect.
In fact nothing could well be more simple -- more utterly unpretending than this cottage. Its marvellous
effect lay altogether in its artistic arrangement as a picture. I could have fancied, while I looked at it, that
some eminent landscape-painter had built it with his brush.
The point of view from which I first saw the valley, was not altogether, although it was nearly, the best
point from which to survey the house. I will therefore describe it as I afterwards saw it -- from a position
on the stone wall at the southern extreme of the amphitheatre.
The main building was about twenty-four feet long and sixteen broad -- certainly not more. Its total
height, from the ground to the apex of the roof, could not have exceeded eighteen feet. To the west end of
this structure was attached one about a third smaller in all its proportions: -- the line of its front standing
back about two yards from that of the larger house, and the line of its roof, of course, being considerably
depressed below that of the roof adjoining. At right angles to these buildings, and from the rear of the
main one -- not exactly in the middle -- extended a third compartment, very small -- being, in general, one-
third less than the western wing. The roofs of the two larger were very steep -- sweeping down from the
ridge-beam with a long concave curve, and extending at least four feet beyond the walls in front, so as to
form the roofs of two piazzas. These latter roofs, of course, needed no support; but as they had the air of
needing it, slight and perfectly plain pillars were inserted at the corners alone. The roof of the northern
wing was merely an extension of a portion of the main roof. Between the chief building and western wing
arose a very tall and rather slender square chimney of hard Dutch bricks, alternately black and red: -- a
slight cornice of projecting bricks at the top. Over the gables the roofs also projected very much: -- in the
main building about four feet to the east and two to the west. The principal door was not exactly in the
main division, being a little to the east -- while the two windows were to the west. These latter did not
extend to the floor, but were much longer and narrower than usual -- they had single shutters like doors --
the panes were of lozenge form, but quite large. The door itself had its upper half of glass, also in lozenge
panes -- a movable shutter secured it at night. The door to the west wing was in its gable, and quite
simple -- a single window looked out to the south. There was no external door to the north wing, and it
also had only one window to the east.
The blank wall of the eastern gable was relieved by stairs (with a balustrade) running diagonally across it
-- the ascent being from the south. Under cover of the widely projecting eave these steps gave access to a
door leading to the garret, or rather loft -- for it was lighted only by a single window to the north, and
seemed to have been intended as a store-room.
The piazzas of the main building and western wing had no floors, as is usual; but at the doors and at each
window, large, flat irregular slabs of granite lay imbedded in the delicious turf, affording comfortable
footing in all weather. Excellent paths of the same material -- not nicely adapted, but with the velvety sod
filling frequent intervals between the stones, led hither and thither from the house, to a crystal spring
about five paces off, to the road, or to one or two out -- houses that lay to the north, beyond the brook,
and were thoroughly concealed by a few locusts and catalpas.
Not more than six steps from the main door of the cottage stood the dead trunk of a fantastic pear-tree,
so clothed from head to foot in the gorgeous bignonia blossoms that one required no little scrutiny to
determine what manner of sweet thing it could be. From various arms of this tree hung cages of different
kinds. In one, a large wicker cylinder with a ring at top, revelled a mocking bird; in another an oriole; in a
third the impudent bobolink -- while three or four more delicate prisons were loudly vocal with canaries.
The pillars of the piazza were enwreathed in jasmine and sweet honeysuckle; while from the angle formed
by the main structure and its west wing, in front, sprang a grape-vine of unexampled luxuriance. Scorning
all restraint, it had clambered first to the lower roof -- then to the higher; and along the ridge of this latter
it continued to writhe on, throwing out tendrils to the right and left, until at length it fairly attained the
east gable, and fell trailing over the stairs.
The whole house, with its wings, was constructed of the old-fashioned Dutch shingles -- broad, and with
unrounded corners. It is a peculiarity of this material to give houses built of it the appearance of being
wider at bottom than at top -- after the manner of Egyptian architecture; and in the present instance, this
exceedingly picturesque effect was aided by numerous pots of gorgeous flowers that almost encompassed
the base of the buildings.
The shingles were painted a dull gray; and the happiness with which this neutral tint melted into the vivid
green of the tulip tree leaves that partially overshadowed the cottage, can readily be conceived by an
artist.
From the position near the stone wall, as described, the buildings were seen at great advantage -- for the
southeastern angle was thrown forward -- so that the eye took in at once the whole of the two fronts, with
the picturesque eastern gable, and at the same time obtained just a sufficient glimpse of the northern
wing, with parts of a pretty roof to the spring-house, and nearly half of a light bridge that spanned the
brook in the near vicinity of the main buildings.
I did not remain very long on the brow of the hill, although long enough to make a thorough survey of the
scene at my feet. It was clear that I had wandered from the road to the village, and I had thus good
traveller's excuse to open the gate before me, and inquire my way, at all events; so, without more ado, I
proceeded.
The road, after passing the gate, seemed to lie upon a natural ledge, sloping gradually down along the
face of the north-eastern cliffs. It led me on to the foot of the northern precipice, and thence over the
bridge, round by the eastern gable to the front door. In this progress, I took notice that no sight of the
out-houses could be obtained.
As I turned the corner of the gable, the mastiff bounded towards me in stern silence, but with the eye and
the whole air of a tiger. I held him out my hand, however, in token of amity -- and I never yet knew the dog
who was proof against such an appeal to his courtesy. He not only shut his mouth and wagged his tail, but
absolutely offered me his paw-afterward extending his civilities to Ponto.
As no bell was discernible, I rapped with my stick against the door, which stood half open. Instantly a
figure advanced to the threshold -- that of a young woman about twenty-eight years of age -- slender, or
rather slight, and somewhat above the medium height. As she approached, with a certain modest decision
of step altogether indescribable. I said to myself, "Surely here I have found the perfection of natural, in
contradistinction from artificial grace." The second impression which she made on me, but by far the
more vivid of the two, was that of enthusiasm. So intense an expression of romance, perhaps I should call
it, or of unworldliness, as that which gleamed from her deep-set eyes, had never so sunk into my heart of
hearts before. I know not how it is, but this peculiar expression of the eye, wreathing itself occasionally
into the lips, is the most powerful, if not absolutely the sole spell, which rivets my interest in woman.
"Romance, provided my readers fully comprehended what I would here imply by the word -- "romance"
and "womanliness" seem to me convertible terms: and, after all, what man truly loves in woman, is simply
her womanhood. The eyes of Annie (I heard some one from the interior call her "Annie, darling!") were
"spiritual grey;" her hair, a light chestnut: this is all I had time to observe of her.
At her most courteous of invitations, I entered -- passing first into a tolerably wide vestibule. Having come
mainly to observe, I took notice that to my right as I stepped in, was a window, such as those in front of
the house; to the left, a door leading into the principal room; while, opposite me, an open door enabled
me to see a small apartment, just the size of the vestibule, arranged as a study, and having a large bow
window looking out to the north.
Passing into the parlor, I found myself with Mr. Landor -- for this, I afterwards found, was his name. He
was civil, even cordial in his manner, but just then, I was more intent on observing the arrangements of
the dwelling which had so much interested me, than the personal appearance of the tenant.
The north wing, I now saw, was a bed-chamber, its door opened into the parlor. West of this door was a
single window, looking toward the brook. At the west end of the parlor, were a fireplace, and a door
leading into the west wing -- probably a kitchen.
Nothing could be more rigorously simple than the furniture of the parlor. On the floor was an ingrain
carpet, of excellent texture -- a white ground, spotted with small circular green figures. At the windows
were curtains of snowy white jaconet muslin: they were tolerably full, and hung decisively, perhaps rather
formally in sharp, parallel plaits to the floor -- just to the floor. The walls were prepared with a French
paper of great delicacy, a silver ground, with a faint green cord running zig-zag throughout. Its expanse
was relieved merely by three of Julien's exquisite lithographs a trois crayons, fastened to the wall without
frames. One of these drawings was a scene of Oriental luxury, or rather voluptuousness; another was a
"carnival piece," spirited beyond compare; the third was a Greek female head -- a face so divinely
beautiful, and yet of an expression so provokingly indeterminate, never before arrested my attention.
The more substantial furniture consisted of a round table, a few chairs (including a large rocking-chair),
and a sofa, or rather "settee;" its material was plain maple painted a creamy white, slightly interstriped
with green; the seat of cane. The chairs and table were "to match," but the forms of all had evidently been
designed by the same brain which planned "the grounds;" it is impossible to conceive anything more
graceful.
On the table were a few books, a large, square, crystal bottle of some novel perfume, a plain ground --
glass astral (not solar) lamp with an Italian shade, and a large vase of resplendently-blooming flowers.
Flowers, indeed, of gorgeous colours and delicate odour formed the sole mere decoration of the
apartment. The fire-place was nearly filled with a vase of brilliant geranium. On a triangular shelf in each
angle of the room stood also a similar vase, varied only as to its lovely contents. One or two smaller
bouquets adorned the mantel, and late violets clustered about the open windows.
It is not the purpose of this work to do more than give in detail, a picture of Mr. Landor's residence -- as I
found it. How he made it what it was -- and why -- with some particulars of Mr. Landor himself -- may,
possibly form the subject of another article.
THE LANDSCAPE GARDEN
The garden like a lady fair was cut That lay as if she slumbered in delight, And to the open skies her eyes
did shut; The azur e fields of heaven were 'sembled right In a large round set with flow'rs of light: The
flowers de luce and the round sparks of dew That hung upon their azure leaves, did show Like twinkling
stars that sparkle in the ev'ning blue. -- GILES FLETCHER
NO MORE remarkable man ever lived than my friend, the young Ellison. He was remarkable in the entire
and continuous profusion of good gifts ever lavished upon him by fortune. From his cradle to his grave, a
gale of the blandest prosperity bore him along. Nor do I use the word Prosperity in its mere wordly or
external sense. I mean it as synonymous with happiness. The person of whom I speak, seemed born for
the purpose of foreshadowing the wild doctrines of Turgot, Price, Priestley, and Condorcet -- of
exemplifying, by individual instance, what has been deemed the mere chimera of the perfectionists. In the
brief existence of Ellison, I fancy, that I have seen refuted the dogma -- that in man's physical and spiritual
nature, lies some hidden principle, the antagonist of Bliss. An intimate and anxious examination of his
career, has taught me to understand that, in general, from the violation of a few simple laws of Humanity,
arises the Wretchedness of mankind; that, as a species, we have in our possession the as yet unwrought
elements of Content, -- and that even now, in the present blindness and darkness of all idea on the great
question of the Social Condition, it is not impossible that Man, the individual, under certain unusual and
highly fortuitous conditions, may be happy.
With opinions such as these was my young friend fully imbued; and thus is it especially worthy of
observation that the uninterrupted enjoyment which distinguished his life was in great part the result of
preconcert. It is, indeed evident, that with less of the instinctive philosophy which, now and then, stands
so well in the stead of experience, Mr. Ellison would have found himself precipitated, by the very
extraordinary successes of his life, into the common vortex of Unhappiness which yawns for those of
preeminent endowments. But it is by no means my present object to pen an essay on Happiness. The
ideas of my friend may be summed up in a few words. He admitted but four unvarying laws, or rather
elementary principles, of Bliss. That which he considered chief, was (strange to say!) the simple and
purely physical one of free exercise in the open air. "The health," he said, "attainable by other means than
this is scarcely worth the name." He pointed to the tillers of the earth -- the only people who, as a class,
are proverbially more happy than others -- and then he instanced the high ecstasies of the fox-hunter. His
second principle was the love of woman. His third was the contempt of ambition. His fourth was an object
of unceasing pursuit; and he held that, other things being equal, the extent of happiness was
proportioned to the spirituality of this object.
I have said that Ellison was remarkable in the continuous profusion of good gifts lavished upon him by
Fortune. In personal grace and beauty he exceeded all men. His intellect was of that order to which the
attainment of knowledge is less a labor than a necessity and an intuition. His family was one of the most
illustrious of the empire. His bride was the loveliest and most devoted of women. His possessions had
been always ample; but, upon the attainment of his one and twentieth year, it was discovered that one of
those extraordinary freaks of Fate had been played in his behalf which startle the whole social world amid
which they occur, and seldom fail radically to alter the entire moral constitution of those who are their
objects. It appears that about one hundred years prior to Mr. Ellison's attainment of his majority, there
had died, in a remote province, one Mr. Seabright Ellison. This gentlemen had amassed a princely
fortune, and, having no very immediate connexions, conceived the whim of suffering his wealth to
accumulate for a century after his decease. Minutely and sagaciously directing the various modes of
investment, he bequeathed the aggregate amount to the nearest of blood, bearing the name Ellison, who
should be alive at the end of the hundred years. Many futile attempts had been made to set aside this
singular bequest; their ex post facto character rendered them abortive; but the attention of a jealous
government was aroused, and a decree finally obtained, forbidding all similar accumulations. This act did
not prevent young Ellison, upon his twenty-first birth-day, from entering into possession, as the heir of his
ancestor, Seabright, of a fortune of four hundred and fifty millions of dollars.
When it had become definitely known that such was the enormous wealth inherited, there were, of
course, many speculations as to the mode of its disposal. The gigantic magnitude and the immediately
available nature of the sum, dazzled and bewildered all who thought upon the topic. The possessor of any
appreciable amount of money might have been imagined to perform any one of a thousand things. With
riches merely surpassing those of any citizen, it would have been easy to suppose him engaging to
supreme excess in the fashionable extravagances of his time; or busying himself with political intrigues;
or aiming at ministerial power, or purchasing increase of nobility, or devising gorgeous architectural
piles; or collecting large specimens of Virtu; or playing the munificent patron of Letters and Art; or
endowing and bestowing his name upon extensive institutions of charity. But, for the inconceivable wealth
in the actual possession of the young heir, these objects and all ordinary objects were felt to be
inadequate. Recourse was had to figures; and figures but sufficed to confound. It was seen, that even at
three per cent, the annual income of the inheritance amounted to no less than thirteen millions and five
hundred thousand dollars; which was one million and one hundred and twenty-five thousand per month;
or thirty-six thousand, nine hundred and eighty-six per day, or one thousand five hundred and forty-one
per hour, or six and twenty dollars for every minute that flew. Thus the usual track of supposition was
thoroughly broken up. Men knew not what to imagine. There were some who even conceived that Mr.
Ellison would divest himself forthwith of at least two-thirds of his fortune as of utterly superfluous
opulence; enriching whole troops of his relatives by division of his superabundance.
I was not surprised, however, to perceive that he had long made up his mind upon a topic which had
occasioned so much of discussion to his friends. Nor was I greatly astonished at the nature of his
decision. In the widest and noblest sense, he was a poet. He comprehended, moreover, the true character,
the august aims, the supreme majesty and dignity of the poetic sentiment. The proper gratification of the
sentiment he instinctively felt to lie in the creation of novel forms of Beauty. Some peculiarities, either in
his early education, or in the nature of his intellect, had tinged with what is termed materialism the whole
cast of his ethical speculations; and it was this bias, perhaps, which imperceptibly led him to perceive
that the most advantageous, if not the sole legitimate field for the exercise of the poetic sentiment, was to
be found in the creation of novel moods of purely physical loveliness. Thus it happened that he became
neither musician nor poet; if we use this latter term in its every -- day acceptation. Or it might have been
that he became neither the one nor the other, in pursuance of an idea of his which I have already
mentioned -- the idea, that in the contempt of ambition lay one of the essential principles of happiness on
earth. Is it not, indeed, possible that while a high order of genius is necessarily ambitious, the highest is
invariably above that which is termed ambition? And may it not thus happen that many far greater than
Milton, have contentedly remained "mute and inglorious?" I believe the world has never yet seen, and
that, unless through some series of accidents goading the noblest order of mind into distasteful exertion,
the world will never behold, that full extent of triumphant execution, in the richer productions of Art, of
which the human nature is absolutely capable.
Mr. Ellison became neither musician nor poet; although no man lived more profoundly enamored both of
Music and the Muse. Under other circumstances than those which invested him, it is not impossible that
he would have become a painter. The field of sculpture, although in its nature rigidly poetical, was too
limited in its extent and in its consequences, to have occupied, at any time, much of his attention. And I
have now mentioned all the provinces in which even the most liberal understanding of the poetic
sentiment has declared this sentiment capable of expatiating. I mean the most liberal public or
recognized conception of the idea involved in the phrase "poetic sentiment." But Mr. Ellison imagined that
the richest, and altogether the most natural and most suitable province, had been blindly neglected. No
definition had spoken of the Landscape-Gardener, as of the poet; yet my friend could not fail to perceive
that the creation of the Landscape-Garden offered to the true muse the most magnificent of opportunities.
Here was, indeed, the fairest field for the display of invention, or imagination, in the endless combining of
forms of novel Beauty; the elements which should enter into combination being, at all times, and by a vast
superiority, the most glorious which the earth could afford. In the multiform of the tree, and in the
multicolor of the flower, he recognized the most direct and the most energetic efforts of Nature at
physical loveliness. And in the direction or concentration of this effort, or, still more properly, in its
adaption to the eyes which were to behold it upon earth, he perceived that he should be employing the
best means -- laboring to the greatest advantage -- in the fulfilment of his destiny as Poet.
"Its adaptation to the eyes which were to behold it upon earth." In his explanation of this phraseology, Mr.
Ellison did much towards solving what has always seemed to me an enigma. I mean the fact (which none
but the ignorant dispute,) that no such combinations of scenery exist in Nature as the painter of genius
has in his power to produce. No such Paradises are to be found in reality as have glowed upon the
canvass of Claude. In the most enchanting of natural landscapes, there will always be found a defect or an
excess -- many excesses and defects. While the component parts may exceed, individually, the highest skill
of the artist, the arrangement of the parts will always be susceptible of improvement. In short, no position
can be attained, from which an artistical eye, looking steadily, will not find matter of offence, in what is
technically termed the composition of a natural landscape. And yet how unintelligible is this! In all other
matters we are justly instructed to regard Nature as supreme. With her details we shrink from
competition. Who shall presume to imitate the colors of the tulip, or to improve the proportions of the lily
of the valley? The criticism which says, of sculpture or of portraiture, that "Nature is to be exalted rather
than imitated," is in error. No pictorial or sculptural combinations of points of human loveliness, do more
than approach the living and breathing human beauty as it gladdens our daily path. Byron, who often
erred, erred not in saying,
Than all the nonsense of their stone ideal. In landscape alone is the principle of the critic true; and,
having felt its truth here, it is but the headlong spirit of generalization which has induced him to
pronounce it true throughout all the domains of Art. Having, I say, felt its truth here. For the feeling is no
affectation or chimera. The mathematics afford no more absolute demonstrations, than the sentiment of
his Art yields to the artist. He not only believes, but positively knows, that such and such apparently
arbitrary arrangements of matter, or form, constitute, and alone constitute, the true Beauty. Yet his
reasons have not yet been matured into expression. It remains for a more profound analysis than the
world has yet seen, fully to investigate and express them. Nevertheless is he confirmed in his instinctive
opinions, by the concurrence of all his compeers. Let a composition be defective, let an emendation be
wrought in its mere arrangement of form; let this emendation be submitted to every artist in the world; by
each will its necessity be admitted. And even far more than this, in remedy of the defective composition,
each insulated member of the fraternity will suggest the identical emendation.
I repeat that in landscape arrangements, or collocations alone, is the physical Nature susceptible of
"exaltation" and that, therefore, her susceptibility of improvement at this one point, was a mystery which,
hitherto I had been unable to solve. It was Mr. Ellison who first suggested the idea that what we regarded
as improvement or exaltation of the natural beauty, was really such, as respected only the mortal or
human point of view; that each alteration or disturbance of the primitive scenery might possibly effect a
blemish in the picture, if we could suppose this picture viewed at large from some remote point in the
heavens. "It is easily understood," says Mr. Ellison, "that what might improve a closely scrutinized detail,
might, at the same time, injure a general and more distantly -- observed effect." He spoke upon this topic
with warmth: regarding not so much its immediate or obvious importance, (which is little,) as the
character of the conclusions to which it might lead, or of the collateral propositions which it might serve
to corroborate or sustain. There might be a class of beings, human once, but now to humanity invisible,
for whose scrutiny and for whose refined appreciation of the beautiful, more especially than for our own,
had been set in order by God the great landscape-garden of the whole earth.
In the course of our discussion, my young friend took occasion to quote some passages from a writer who
has been supposed to have well treated this theme.
"There are, properly," he writes, "but two styles of landscape-gardening, the natural and the artificial.
One seeks to recall the original beauty of the country, by adapting its means to the surrounding scenery;
cultivating trees in harmony with the hills or plain of the neighboring land; detecting and bringing into
practice those nice relations of size, proportion and color which, hid from the common observer, are
revealed everywhere to the experienced student of nature. The result of the natural style of gardening, is
seen rather in the absence of all defects and incongruities -- in the prevalence of a beautiful harmony and
order, than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles. The artificial style has as many varieties as
there are different tastes to gratify. It has a certain general relation to the various styles of building.
There are the stately avenues and retirements of Versailles; Italian terraces; and a various mixed old
English style, which bears some relation to the domestic Gothic or English Elizabethan architecture.
Whatever may be said against the abuses of the artificial landscape-gardening, a mixture of pure art in a
garden scene, adds to it a great beauty. This is partly pleasing to the eye, by the show of order and
design, and partly moral. A terrace, with an old moss-covered balustrade, calls up at once to the eye, the
fair forms that have passed there in other days. The slightest exhibition of art is an evidence of care and
human interest."
"From what I have already observed," said Mr. Ellison, "you will understand that I reject the idea, here
expressed, of 'recalling the original beauty of the country.' The original beauty is never so great as that
which may be introduced. Of course, much depends upon the selection of a spot with capabilities. What is
said in respect to the 'detecting and bringing into practice those nice relations of size, proportion and
color,' is a mere vagueness of speech, which may mean much, or little, or nothing, and which guides in no
degree. That the true 'result of the natural style of gardening is seen rather in the absence of all defects
and incongruities, than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles,' is a proposition better suited
to the grovelling apprehension of the herd, than to the fervid dreams of the man of genius. The merit
suggested is, at best, negative, and appertains to that hobbling criticism which, in letters, would elevate
Addison into apotheosis. In truth, while that merit which consists in the mere avoiding demerit, appeals
directly to the understanding, and can thus be foreshadowed in Rule, the loftier merit, which breathes
and flames in invention or creation, can be apprehended solely in its results. Rule applies but to the
excellences of avoidance -- to the virtues which deny or refrain. Beyond these the critical art can but
suggest. We may be instructed to build an Odyssey, but it is in vain that we are told how to conceive a
'Tempest,' an 'Inferno,' a 'Prometheus Bound,' a 'Nightingale,' such as that of Keats, or the 'Sensitive
Plant' of Shelley. But, the thing done, the wonder accomplished, and the capacity for apprehension
becomes universal. The sophists of the negative school, who, through inability to create, have scoffed at
creation, are now found the loudest in applause. What, in its chrysalis condition of principle, affronted
their demure reason, never fails, in its maturity of accomplishment, to extort admiration from their
instinct of the beautiful or of the sublime.
"Our author's observations on the artificial style of gardening," continued Mr. Ellison, "are less
objectionable. 'A mixture of pure art in a garden scene, adds to it a great beauty.' This is just; and the
reference to the sense of human interest is equally so. I repeat that the principle here expressed, is
incontrovertible; but there may be something even beyond it. There may be an object in full keeping with
the principle suggested -- an object unattainable by the means ordinarily in possession of mankind, yet
which, if attained, would lend a charm to the landscape-garden immeasurably surpassing that which a
merely human interest could bestow. The true poet possessed of very unusual pecuniary resources, might
possibly, while retaining the necessary idea of art or interest or culture, so imbue his designs at once with
extent and novelty of Beauty, as to convey the sentiment of spiritual interference. It will be seen that, in
bringing about such result, he secures all the advantages of interest or design, while relieving his work of
all the harshness and technicality of Art. In the most rugged of wildernesses -- in the most savage of the
scenes of pure Nature -- there is apparent the art of a Creator; yet is this art apparent only to reflection;
in no respect has it the obvious force of a feeling. Now, if we imagine this sense of the Almighty Design to
be harmonized in a measurable degree, if we suppose a landscape whose combined strangeness,
vastness, definitiveness, and magnificence, shall inspire the idea of culture, or care, or superintendence,
on the part of intelligences superior yet akin to humanity -- then the sentiment of interest is preserved,
while the Art is made to assume the air of an intermediate or secondary Nature -- a Nature which is not
God, nor an emanation of God, but which still is Nature, in the sense that it is the handiwork of the angels
that hover between man and God."
It was in devoting his gigantic wealth to the practical embodiment of a vision such as this -- in the free
exercise in the open air, which resulted from personal direction of his plans -- in the continuous and
unceasing object which these plans afford -- in the contempt of ambition which it enabled him more to
feel than to affect -- and, lastly, it was in the companionship and sympathy of a devoted wife, that Ellison
thought to find, and found, an exemption from the ordinary cares of Humanity, with a far greater amount
of positive happiness than ever glowed in the rapt day-dreams of De Stael.
LIGEIA
And the will therein lieth, which dieth not. Who knoweth the mysteries of the will, with its vigor? For God
is but a great wil l pervading all things by nature of its intentness. Man doth not yield himself to the
angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will. --Joseph Glanvill.
I Cannot, for my soul, remember how, when, or even precisely where, I first became acquainted with the
lady Ligeia. Long years have since elapsed, and my memory is feeble through much suffering. Or,
perhaps, I cannot now bring these points to mind, because, in truth, the character of my beloved, her rare
learning, her singular yet placid cast of beauty, and the thrilling and enthralling eloquence of her low
musical language, made their way into my heart by paces so steadily and stealthily progressive that they
have been unnoticed and unknown. Yet I believe that I met her first and most frequently in some large,
old, decaying city near the Rhine. Of her family -- I have surely heard her speak. That it is of a remotely
ancient date cannot be doubted. Ligeia! Ligeia! in studies of a nature more than all else adapted to
deaden impressions of the outward world, it is by that sweet word alone -- by Ligeia -- that I bring before
mine eyes in fancy the image of her who is no more. And now, while I write, a recollection flashes upon
me that I have never known the paternal name of her who was my friend and my betrothed, and who
became the partner of my studies, and finally the wife of my bosom. Was it a playful charge on the part of
my Ligeia? or was it a test of my strength of affection, that I should institute no inquiries upon this point?
or was it rather a caprice of my own -- a wildly romantic offering on the shrine of the most passionate
devotion? I but indistinctly recall the fact itself -- what wonder that I have utterly forgotten the
circumstances which originated or attended it? And, indeed, if ever she, the wan and the misty-winged
Ashtophet of idolatrous Egypt, presided, as they tell, over marriages ill-omened, then most surely she
presided over mine.
There is one dear topic, however, on which my memory falls me not. It is the person of Ligeia. In stature
she was tall, somewhat slender, and, in her latter days, even emaciated. I would in vain attempt to portray
the majesty, the quiet ease, of her demeanor, or the incomprehensible lightness and elasticity of her
footfall. She came and departed as a shadow. I was never made aware of her entrance into my closed
study save by the dear music of her low sweet voice, as she placed her marble hand upon my shoulder. In
beauty of face no maiden ever equalled her. It was the radiance of an opium-dream -- an airy and spirit-
lifting vision more wildly divine than the phantasies which hovered vision about the slumbering souls of
the daughters of Delos. Yet her features were not of that regular mould which we have been falsely taught
to worship in the classical labors of the heathen. "There is no exquisite beauty," says Bacon, Lord
Verulam, speaking truly of all the forms and genera of beauty, without some strangeness in the
proportion." Yet, although I saw that the features of Ligeia were not of a classic regularity -- although I
perceived that her loveliness was indeed "exquisite," and felt that there was much of "strangeness"
pervading it, yet I have tried in vain to detect the irregularity and to trace home my own perception of
"the strange." I examined the contour of the lofty and pale forehead -- it was faultless -- how cold indeed
that word when applied to a majesty so divine! -- the skin rivalling the purest ivory, the commanding
extent and repose, the gentle prominence of the regions above the temples; and then the raven-black, the
glossy, the luxuriant and naturally-curling tresses, setting forth the full force of the Homeric epithet,
"hyacinthine!" I looked at the delicate outlines of the nose -- and nowhere but in the graceful medallions
of the Hebrews had I beheld a similar perfection. There were the same luxurious smoothness of surface,
the same scarcely perceptible tendency to the aquiline, the same harmoniously curved nostrils speaking
the free spirit. I regarded the sweet mouth. Here was indeed the triumph of all things heavenly -- the
magnificent turn of the short upper lip -- the soft, voluptuous slumber of the under -- the dimples which
sported, and the color which spoke -- the teeth glancing back, with a brilliancy almost startling, every ray
of the holy light which fell upon them in her serene and placid, yet most exultingly radiant of all smiles. I
scrutinized the formation of the chin -- and here, too, I found the gentleness of breadth, the softness and
the majesty, the fullness and the spirituality, of the Greek -- the contour which the god Apollo revealed but
in a dream, to Cleomenes, the son of the Athenian. And then I peered into the large eves of Ligeia.
For eyes we have no models in the remotely antique. It might have been, too, that in these eves of my
beloved lay the secret to which Lord Verulam alludes. They were, I must believe, far larger than the
ordinary eyes of our own race. They were even fuller than the fullest of the gazelle eyes of the tribe of the
valley of Nourjahad. Yet it was only at intervals -- in moments of intense excitement -- that this peculiarity
became more than slightly noticeable in Ligeia. And at such moments was her beauty -- in my heated
fancy thus it appeared perhaps -- the beauty of beings either above or apart from the earth -- the beauty
of the fabulous Houri of the Turk. The hue of the orbs was the most brilliant of black, and, far over them,
hung jetty lashes of great length. The brows, slightly irregular in outline, had the same tint. The
"strangeness," however, which I found in the eyes, was of a nature distinct from the formation, or the
color, or the brilliancy of the features, and must, after all, be referred to the expression. Ah, word of no
meaning! behind whose vast latitude of mere sound we intrench our ignorance of so much of the spiritual.
The expression of the eyes of Ligeia! How for long hours have I pondered upon it! How have I, through
the whole of a midsummer night, struggled to fathom it! What was it -- that something more profound
than the well of Democritus -- which lay far within the pupils of my beloved? What was it? I was possessed
with a passion to discover. Those eyes! those large, those shining, those divine orbs! they became to me
twin stars of Leda, and I to them devoutest of astrologers.
There is no point, among the many incomprehensible anomalies of the science of mind, more thrillingly
exciting than the fact -- never, I believe, noticed in the schools -- that, in our endeavors to recall to
memory something long forgotten, we often find ourselves upon the very verge of remembrance, without
being able, in the end, to remember. And thus how frequently, in my intense scrutiny of Ligeia's eyes,
have I felt approaching the full knowledge of their expression -- felt it approaching -- yet not quite be
mine -- and so at length entirely depart! And (strange, oh strangest mystery of all!) I found, in the
commonest objects of the universe, a circle of analogies to theat expression. I mean to say that,
subsequently to the period when Ligeia's beauty passed into my spirit, there dwelling as in a shrine, I
derived, from many existences in the material world, a sentiment such as I felt always aroused within me
by her large and luminous orbs. Yet not the more could I define that sentiment, or analyze, or even
steadily view it. I recognized it, let me repeat, sometimes in the survey of a rapidly-growing vine -- in the
contemplation of a moth, a butterfly, a chrysalis, a stream of running water. I have felt it in the ocean; in
the falling of a meteor. I have felt it in the glances of unusually aged people. And there are one or two
stars in heaven -- (one especially, a star of the sixth magnitude, double and changeable, to be found near
the large star in Lyra) in a telescopic scrutiny of which I have been made aware of the feeling. I have
been filled with it by certain sounds from stringed instruments, and not unfrequently by passages from
books. Among innumerable other instances, I well remember something in a volume of Joseph Glanvill,
which (perhaps merely from its quaintness -- who shall say?) never failed to inspire me with the
sentiment; -- "And the will therein lieth, which dieth not. Who knoweth the mysteries of the will, with its
vigor? For God is but a great will pervading all things by nature of its intentness. Man doth not yield him
to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will."
Length of years, and subsequent reflection, have enabled me to trace, indeed, some remote connection
between this passage in the English moralist and a portion of the character of Ligeia. An intensity in
thought, action, or speech, was possibly, in her, a result, or at least an index, of that gigantic volition
which, during our long intercourse, failed to give other and more immediate evidence of its existence. Of
all the women whom I have ever known, she, the outwardly calm, the ever-placid Ligeia, was the most
violently a prey to the tumultuous vultures of stern passion. And of such passion I could form no estimate,
save by the miraculous expansion of those eyes which at once so delighted and appalled me -- by the
almost magical melody, modulation, distinctness and placidity of her very low voice -- and by the fierce
energy (rendered doubly effective by contrast with her manner of utterance) of the wild words which she
habitually uttered.
I have spoken of the learning of Ligeia: it was immense -- such as I have never known in woman. In the
classical tongues was she deeply proficient, and as far as my own acquaintance extended in regard to the
modern dialects of Europe, I have never known her at fault. Indeed upon any theme of the most admired,
because simply the most abstruse of the boasted erudition of the academy, have I ever found Ligeia at
fault? How singularly -- how thrillingly, this one point in the nature of my wife has forced itself, at this late
period only, upon my attention! I said her knowledge was such as I have never known in woman -- but
where breathes the man who has traversed, and successfully, all the wide areas of moral, physical, and
mathematical science? I saw not then what I now clearly perceive, that the acquisitions of Ligeia were
gigantic, were astounding; yet I was sufficiently aware of her infinite supremacy to resign myself, with a
child-like confidence, to her guidance through the chaotic world of metaphysical investigation at which I
was most busily occupied during the earlier years of our marriage. With how vast a triumph -- with how
vivid a delight -- with how much of all that is ethereal in hope -- did I feel, as she bent over me in studies
but little sought -- but less known -- that delicious vista by slow degrees expanding before me, down
whose long, gorgeous, and all untrodden path, I might at length pass onward to the goal of a wisdom too
divinely precious not to be forbidden!
How poignant, then, must have been the grief with which, after some years, I beheld my well-grounded
expectations take wings to themselves and fly away! Without Ligeia I was but as a child groping
benighted. Her presence, her readings alone, rendered vividly luminous the many mysteries of the
transcendentalism in which we were immersed. Wanting the radiant lustre of her eyes, letters, lambent
and golden, grew duller than Saturnian lead. And now those eyes shone less and less frequently upon the
pages over which I pored. Ligeia grew ill. The wild eyes blazed with a too -- too glorious effulgence; the
pale fingers became of the transparent waxen hue of the grave, and the blue veins upon the lofty
forehead swelled and sank impetuously with the tides of the gentle emotion. I saw that she must die -- and
I struggled desperately in spirit with the grim Azrael. And the struggles of the passionate wife were, to
my astonishment, even more energetic than my own. There had been much in her stern nature to impress
me with the belief that, to her, death would have come without its terrors; -- but not so. Words are
impotent to convey any just idea of the fierceness of resistance with which she wrestled with the Shadow.
I groaned in anguish at the pitiable spectacle. would have soothed -- I would have reasoned; but, in the
intensity of her wild desire for life, -- for life -- but for life -- solace and reason were the uttermost folly. Yet
not until the last instance, amid the most convulsive writhings of her fierce spirit, was shaken the external
placidity of her demeanor. Her voice grew more gentle -- grew more low -- yet I would not wish to dwell
upon the wild meaning of the quietly uttered words. My brain reeled as I hearkened entranced, to a
melody more than mortal -- to assumptions and aspirations which mortality had never before known.
That she loved me I should not have doubted; and I might have been easily aware that, in a bosom such as
hers, love would have reigned no ordinary passion. But in death only, was I fully impressed with the
strength of her affection. For long hours, detaining my hand, would she pour out before me the
overflowing of a heart whose more than passionate devotion amounted to idolatry. How had I deserved to
be so blessed by such confessions? -- how had I deserved to be so cursed with the removal of my beloved
in the hour of her making them, But upon this subject I cannot bear to dilate. Let me say only, that in
Ligeia's more than womanly abandonment to a love, alas! all unmerited, all unworthily bestowed, I at
length recognized the principle of her longing with so wildly earnest a desire for the life which was now
fleeing so rapidly away. It is this wild longing -- it is this eager vehemence of desire for life -- but for life --
that I have no power to portray -- no utterance capable of expressing.
At high noon of the night in which she departed, beckoning me, peremptorily, to her side, she bade me
repeat certain verses composed by herself not many days before. I obeyed her. -- They were these:
Lo! 'tis a gala night Within the lonesome latter years! An angel throng, bewinged, bedight In veils, and
drowned in tears, Sit in a theatre, to see A play of hopes and fears, While the orchestra breathes fitfully
The music of the spheres.
Mimes, in the form of God on high, Mutter and mumble low, And hither and thither fly; Mere puppets
they, who come and go At bidding of vast formless things That shift the scenery to and fro, Flapping from
out their Condor wings Invisible Wo!
That motley drama! -- oh, be sure It shall not be forgot! With its Phantom chased forever more, By a
crowd that seize it not, Through a circle that ever returneth in To the self-same spot, And much of
Madness and more of Sin And Horror the soul of the plot.
But see, amid the mimic rout, A crawling shape intrude! A blood-red thing that writhes from out The
scenic solitude! It writhes! -- it writhes! -- with mortal pangs The mimes become its food, And the seraphs
sob at vermin fangs In human gore imbued.
Out -- out are the lights -- out all! And over each quivering form, The curtain, a funeral pall, Comes down
with the rush of a storm, And the angels, all pallid and wan, Uprising, unveiling, affirm That the play is
the tragedy, "Man," And its hero the Conqueror Worm.
"O God!" half shrieked Ligeia, leaping to her feet and extending her arms aloft with a spasmodic
movement, as I made an end of these lines -- "O God! O Divine Father! -- shall these things be
undeviatingly so? -- shall this Conqueror be not once conquered? Are we not part and parcel in Thee?
Who -- who knoweth the mysteries of the will with its vigor? Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor
unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will."
And now, as if exhausted with emotion, she suffered her white arms to fall, and returned solemnly to her
bed of death. And as she breathed her last sighs, there came mingled with them a low murmur from her
lips. I bent to them my ear and distinguished, again, the concluding words of the passage in Glanvill --
"Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his
feeble will."
She died; -- and I, crushed into the very dust with sorrow, could no longer endure the lonely desolation of
my dwelling in the dim and decaying city by the Rhine. I had no lack of what the world calls wealth.
Ligeia had brought me far more, very far more than ordinarily falls to the lot of mortals. After a few
months, therefore, of weary and aimless wandering, I purchased, and put in some repair, an abbey, which
I shall not name, in one of the wildest and least frequented portions of fair England. The gloomy and
dreary grandeur of the building, the almost savage aspect of the domain, the many melancholy and time-
honored memories connected with both, had much in unison with the feelings of utter abandonment
which had driven me into that remote and unsocial region of the country. Yet although the external abbey,
with its verdant decay hanging about it, suffered but little alteration, I gave way, with a child-like
perversity, and perchance with a faint hope of alleviating my sorrows, to a display of more than regal
magnificence within. -- For such follies, even in childhood, I had imbibed a taste and now they came back
to me as if in the dotage of grief. Alas, I feel how much even of incipient madness might have been
discovered in the gorgeous and fantastic draperies, in the solemn carvings of Egypt, in the wild cornices
and furniture, in the Bedlam patterns of the carpets of tufted gold! I had become a bounden slave in the
trammels of opium, and my labors and my orders had taken a coloring from my dreams. But these
absurdities must not pause to detail. Let me speak only of that one chamber, ever accursed, whither in a
moment of mental alienation, I led from the altar as my bride -- as the successor of the unforgotten Ligeia
-- the fair-haired and blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion, of Tremaine.
There is no individual portion of the architecture and decoration of that bridal chamber which is not now
visibly before me. Where were the souls of the haughty family of the bride, when, through thirst of gold,
they permitted to pass the threshold of an apartment so bedecked, a maiden and a daughter so beloved? I
have said that I minutely remember the details of the chamber -- yet I am sadly forgetful on topics of deep
moment -- and here there was no system, no keeping, in the fantastic display, to take hold upon the
memory. The room lay in a high turret of the castellated abbey, was pentagonal in shape, and of capacious
size. Occupying the whole southern face of the pentagon was the sole window -- an immense sheet of
unbroken glass from Venice -- a single pane, and tinted of a leaden hue, so that the rays of either the sun
or moon, passing through it, fell with a ghastly lustre on the objects within. Over the upper portion of this
huge window, extended the trellice-work of an aged vine, which clambered up the massy walls of the
turret. The ceiling, of gloomy-looking oak, was excessively lofty, vaulted, and elaborately fretted with the
wildest and most grotesque specimens of a semi-Gothic, semi-Druidical device. From out the most central
recess of this melancholy vaulting, depended, by a single chain of gold with long links, a huge censer of
the same metal, Saracenic in pattern, and with many perforations so contrived that there writhed in and
out of them, as if endued with a serpent vitality, a continual succession of parti-colored fires.
Some few ottomans and golden candelabra, of Eastern figure, were in various stations about -- and there
was the couch, too -- bridal couch -- of an Indian model, and low, and sculptured of solid ebony, with a
pall-like canopy above. In each of the angles of the chamber stood on end a gigantic sarcophagus of black
granite, from the tombs of the kings over against Luxor, with their aged lids full of immemorial sculpture.
But in the draping of the apartment lay, alas! the chief phantasy of all. The lofty walls, gigantic in height --
even unproportionably so -- were hung from summit to foot, in vast folds, with a heavy and massive-
looking tapestry -- tapestry of a material which was found alike as a carpet on the floor, as a covering for
the ottomans and the ebony bed, as a canopy for the bed, and as the gorgeous volutes of the curtains
which partially shaded the window. The material was the richest cloth of gold. It was spotted all over, at
irregular intervals, with arabesque figures, about a foot in diameter, and wrought upon the cloth in
patterns of the most jetty black. But these figures partook of the true character of the arabesque only
when regarded from a single point of view. By a contrivance now common, and indeed traceable to a very
remote period of antiquity, they were made changeable in aspect. To one entering the room, they bore the
appearance of simple monstrosities; but upon a farther advance, this appearance gradually departed; and
step by step, as the visitor moved his station in the chamber, he saw himself surrounded by an endless
succession of the ghastly forms which belong to the superstition of the Norman, or arise in the guilty
slumbers of the monk. The phantasmagoric effect was vastly heightened by the artificial introduction of a
strong continual current of wind behind the draperies -- giving a hideous and uneasy animation to the
whole.
In halls such as these -- in a bridal chamber such as this -- I passed, with the Lady of Tremaine, the
unhallowed hours of the first month of our marriage -- passed them with but little disquietude. That my
wife dreaded the fierce moodiness of my temper -- that she shunned me and loved me but little -- I could
not help perceiving; but it gave me rather pleasure than otherwise. I loathed her with a hatred belonging
more to demon than to man. My memory flew back, (oh, with what intensity of regret!) to Ligeia, the
beloved, the august, the beautiful, the entombed. I revelled in recollections of her purity, of her wisdom,
of her lofty, her ethereal nature, of her passionate, her idolatrous love. Now, then, did my spirit fully and
freely burn with more than all the fires of her own. In the excitement of my opium dreams (for I was
habitually fettered in the shackles of the drug) I would call aloud upon her name, during the silence of the
night, or among the sheltered recesses of the glens by day, as if, through the wild eagerness, the solemn
passion, the consuming ardor of my longing for the departed, I could restore her to the pathway she had
abandoned -- ah, could it be forever? -- upon the earth.
About the commencement of the second month of the marriage, the Lady Rowena was attacked with
sudden illness, from which her recovery was slow. The fever which consumed her rendered her nights
uneasy; and in her perturbed state of half-slumber, she spoke of sounds, and of motions, in and about the
chamber of the turret, which I concluded had no origin save in the distemper of her fancy, or perhaps in
the phantasmagoric influences of the chamber itself. She became at length convalescent -- finally well. Yet
but a brief period elapsed, ere a second more violent disorder again threw her upon a bed of suffering;
and from this attack her frame, at all times feeble, never altogether recovered. Her illnesses were, after
this epoch, of alarming character, and of more alarming recurrence, defying alike the knowledge and the
great exertions of her physicians. With the increase of the chronic disease which had thus, apparently,
taken too sure hold upon her constitution to be eradicated by human means, I could not fall to observe a
similar increase in the nervous irritation of her temperament, and in her excitability by trivial causes of
fear. She spoke again, and now more frequently and pertinaciously, of the sounds -- of the slight sounds --
and of the unusual motions among the tapestries, to which she had formerly alluded.
One night, near the closing in of September, she pressed this distressing subject with more than usual
emphasis upon my attention. She had just awakened from an unquiet slumber, and I had been watching,
with feelings half of anxiety, half of vague terror, the workings of her emaciated countenance. I sat by the
side of her ebony bed, upon one of the ottomans of India. She partly arose, and spoke, in an earnest low
whisper, of sounds which she then heard, but which I could not hear -- of motions which she then saw, but
which I could not perceive. The wind was rushing hurriedly behind the tapestries, and I wished to show
her (what, let me confess it, I could not all believe) that those almost inarticulate breathings, and those
very gentle variations of the figures upon the wall, were but the natural effects of that customary rushing
of the wind. But a deadly pallor, overspreading her face, had proved to me that my exertions to reassure
her would be fruitless. She appeared to be fainting, and no attendants were within call. I remembered
where was deposited a decanter of light wine which had been ordered by her physicians, and hastened
across the chamber to procure it. But, as I stepped beneath the light of the censer, two circumstances of a
startling nature attracted my attention. I had felt that some palpable although invisible object had passed
lightly by my person; and I saw that there lay upon the golden carpet, in the very middle of the rich lustre
thrown from the censer, a shadow -- a faint, indefinite shadow of angelic aspect -- such as might be
fancied for the shadow of a shade. But I was wild with the excitement of an immoderate dose of opium,
and heeded these things but little, nor spoke of them to Rowena. Having found the wine, I recrossed the
chamber, and poured out a gobletful, which I held to the lips of the fainting lady. She had now partially
recovered, however, and took the vessel herself, while I sank upon an ottoman near me, with my eyes
fastened upon her person. It was then that I became distinctly aware of a gentle footfall upon the carpet,
and near the couch; and in a second thereafter, as Rowena was in the act of raising the wine to her lips, I
saw, or may have dreamed that I saw, fall within the goblet, as if from some invisible spring in the
atmosphere of the room, three or four large drops of a brilliant and ruby colored fluid. If this I saw -- not
so Rowena. She swallowed the wine unhesitatingly, and I forbore to speak to her of a circumstance which
must, after all, I considered, have been but the suggestion of a vivid imagination, rendered morbidly
active by the terror of the lady, by the opium, and by the hour.
Yet I cannot conceal it from my own perception that, immediately subsequent to the fall of the ruby-drops,
a rapid change for the worse took place in the disorder of my wife; so that, on the third subsequent night,
the hands of her menials prepared her for the tomb, and on the fourth, I sat alone, with her shrouded
body, in that fantastic chamber which had received her as my bride. -- Wild visions, opium-engendered,
flitted, shadow-like, before me. I gazed with unquiet eye upon the sarcophagi in the angles of the room,
upon the varying figures of the drapery, and upon the writhing of the parti-colored fires in the censer
overhead. My eyes then fell, as I called to mind the circumstances of a former night, to the spot beneath
the glare of the censer where I had seen the faint traces of the shadow. It was there, however, no longer;
and breathing with greater freedom, I turned my glances to the pallid and rigid figure upon the bed. Then
rushed upon me a thousand memories of Ligeia -- and then came back upon my heart, with the turbulent
violence of a flood, the whole of that unutterable wo with which I had regarded her thus enshrouded. The
night waned; and still, with a bosom full of bitter thoughts of the one only and supremely beloved, I
remained gazing upon the body of Rowena.
It might have been midnight, or perhaps earlier, or later, for I had taken no note of time, when a sob, low,
gentle, but very distinct, startled me from my revery. -- I felt that it came from the bed of ebony -- the bed
of death. I listened in an agony of superstitious terror -- but there was no repetition of the sound. I
strained my vision to detect any motion in the corpse -- but there was not the slightest perceptible. Yet I
could not have been deceived. I had heard the noise, however faint, and my soul was awakened within
me. I resolutely and perseveringly kept my attention riveted upon the body. Many minutes elapsed before
any circumstance occurred tending to throw light upon the mystery. At length it became evident that a
slight, a very feeble, and barely noticeable tinge of color had flushed up within the cheeks, and along the
sunken small veins of the eyelids. Through a species of unutterable horror and awe, for which the
language of mortality has no sufficiently energetic expression, I felt my heart cease to beat, my limbs
grow rigid where I sat. Yet a sense of duty finally operated to restore my self-possession. I could no longer
doubt that we had been precipitate in our preparations -- that Rowena still lived. It was necessary that
some immediate exertion be made; yet turret was altogether apart from the portion of the abbey tenanted
by the servants -- there were none within call -- I had no means of summoning them to my aid without
leaving the room for many minutes -- and this I could not venture to do. I therefore struggled alone in my
endeavors to call back the spirit ill hovering. In a short period it was certain, however, that a relapse had
taken place; the color disappeared from both eyelid and cheek, leaving a wanness even more than that of
marble; the lips became doubly shrivelled and pinched up in the ghastly expression of death; a repulsive
clamminess and coldness overspread rapidly the surface of the body; and all the usual rigorous illness
immediately supervened. I fell back with a shudder upon the couch from which I had been so startlingly
aroused, and again gave myself up to passionate waking visions of Ligeia.
An hour thus elapsed when (could it be possible?) I was a second time aware of some vague sound issuing
from the region of the bed. I listened -- in extremity of horror. The sound came again -- it was a sigh.
Rushing to the corpse, I saw -- distinctly saw -- a tremor upon the lips. In a minute afterward they relaxed,
disclosing a bright line of the pearly teeth. Amazement now struggled in my bosom with the profound awe
which had hitherto reigned there alone. I felt that my vision grew dim, that my reason wandered; and it
was only by a violent effort that I at length succeeded in nerving myself to the task which duty thus once
more had pointed out. There was now a partial glow upon the forehead and upon the cheek and throat; a
perceptible warmth pervaded the whole frame; there was even a slight pulsation at the heart. The lady
lived; and with redoubled ardor I betook myself to the task of restoration. I chafed and bathed the
temples and the hands, and used every exertion which experience, and no little. medical reading, could
suggest. But in vain. Suddenly, the color fled, the pulsation ceased, the lips resumed the expression of the
dead, and, in an instant afterward, the whole body took upon itself the icy chilliness, the livid hue, the
intense rigidity, the sunken outline, and all the loathsome peculiarities of that which has been, for many
days, a tenant of the tomb.
And again I sunk into visions of Ligeia -- and again, (what marvel that I shudder while I write,) again there
reached my ears a low sob from the region of the ebony bed. But why shall I minutely detail the
unspeakable horrors of that night? Why shall I pause to relate how, time after time, until near the period
of the gray dawn, this hideous drama of revivification was repeated; how each terrific relapse was only
into a sterner and apparently more irredeemable death; how each agony wore the aspect of a struggle
with some invisible foe; and how each struggle was succeeded by I know not what of wild change in the
personal appearance of the corpse? Let me hurry to a conclusion.
The greater part of the fearful night had worn away, and she who had been dead, once again stirred -- and
now more vigorously than hitherto, although arousing from a dissolution more appalling in its utter
hopelessness than any. I had long ceased to struggle or to move, and remained sitting rigidly upon the
ottoman, a helpless prey to a whirl of violent emotions, of which extreme awe was perhaps the least
terrible, the least consuming. The corpse, I repeat, stirred, and now more vigorously than before. The
hues of life flushed up with unwonted energy into the countenance -- the limbs relaxed -- and, save that
the eyelids were yet pressed heavily together, and that the bandages and draperies of the grave still
imparted their charnel character to the figure, I might have dreamed that Rowena had indeed shaken off,
utterly, the fetters of Death. But if this idea was not, even then, altogether adopted, I could at least doubt
no longer, when, arising from the bed, tottering, with feeble steps, with closed eyes, and with the manner
of one bewildered in a dream, the thing that was enshrouded advanced boldly and palpably into the
middle of the apartment.
I trembled not -- I stirred not -- for a crowd of unutterable fancies connected with the air, the stature, the
demeanor of the figure, rushing hurriedly through my brain, had paralyzed -- had chilled me into stone. I
stirred not -- but gazed upon the apparition. There was a mad disorder in my thoughts -- a tumult
unappeasable. Could it, indeed, be the living Rowena who confronted me? Could it indeed be Rowena at
all -- the fair-haired, the blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion of Tremaine? Why, why should I doubt it? The
bandage lay heavily about the mouth -- but then might it not be the mouth of the breathing Lady of
Tremaine? And the cheeks-there were the roses as in her noon of life -- yes, these might indeed be the fair
cheeks of the living Lady of Tremaine. And the chin, with its dimples, as in health, might it not be hers? --
but had she then grown taller since her malady? What inexpressible madness seized me with that
thought? One bound, and I had reached her feet! Shrinking from my touch, she let fall from her head,
unloosened, the ghastly cerements which had confined it, and there streamed forth, into the rushing
atmosphere of the chamber, huge masses of long and dishevelled hair; it was blacker than the raven
wings of the midnight! And now slowly opened the eyes of the figure which stood before me. "Here then,
at least," I shrieked aloud, "can I never -- can I never be mistaken -- these are the full, and the black, and
the wild eyes -- of my lost love -- of the lady -- of the LADY LIGEIA."
LIONIZING
All people went Upon their ten toes in wild wonderment. -- Bishop Hall's Satires.
I AM - that is to say I was - a great man; but I am neither the author of Junius nor the man in the mask;
for my name, I believe, is Robert Jones, and I was born somewhere in the city of Fum-Fudge.
The first action of my life was the taking hold of my nose with both hands. My mother saw this and called
me a genius: my father wept for joy and presented me with a treatise on Nosology. This I mastered before
I was breeched.
I now began to feel my way in the science, and soon came to understand that, provided a man had a nose
sufficiently conspicuous he might, by merely following it, arrive at a Lionship. But my attention was not
confined to theories alone. Every morning I gave my proboscis a couple of pulls and swallowed a half
dozen of drams.
When I came of age my father asked me, one day, If I would step with him into his study.
"My son," said he, when we were seated, "what is the chief end of your existence?"
"And can you tell me," he demanded, "what is the meaning of a nose?"
"A nose, my father;" I replied, greatly softened, "has been variously defined by about a thousand different
authors." [Here I pulled out my watch.] "It is now noon or thereabouts - we shall have time enough to get
through with them all before midnight. To commence then: - The nose, according to Bartholinus, is that
protuberance -- that bump - that excrescence - that - "
"Will do, Robert," interrupted the good old gentleman. "I am thunderstruck at the extent of your
information - I am positively -- upon my soul." [Here he closed his eyes and placed his hand upon his
heart.] "Come here!" [Here he took me by the arm.] "Your education may now be considered as finished -
it is high time you should scuffle for yourself - and you cannot do a better thing than merely follow your
nose -- so - so - so - " [Here he kicked me down stairs and out of the door] - "so get out of my house, and
God bless you!"
As I felt within me the divine afflatus, I considered this accident rather fortunate than otherwise. I
resolved to be guided by the paternal advice. I determined to follow my nose. I gave it a pull or two upon
the spot, and wrote a pamphlet on Nosology forthwith.
"Where can he be?" said little Miss Bas-Bleu. - But I paid these people no attention whatever - I just
stepped into the shop of an artist.
The Duchess of Bless-my-Soul was sitting for her portrait; the Marquis of So-and-So was holding the
Duchess' poodle; the Earl of This-and-That was flirting with her salts; and his Royal Highness of Touch-
me-Not was leaning upon the back of her chair.
"Do you warrant it?" he asked, turning the nose to the light.
"Admirable!" he ejaculated, thrown quite off his guard by the beauty of the manoeuvre.
"Precisely," said I.
"You shall have them," said he. "What a piece of virtu!" So he drew me a check upon the spot, and took a
sketch of my nose. I engaged rooms in Jermyn street, and sent her Majesty the ninety-ninth edition of the
"Nosology," with a portrait of the proboscis. - That sad little rake, the Prince of Wales, invited me to
dinner.
There was a modern Platonist. He quoted Porphyry, Iamblicus, Plotinus, Proclus, Hierocles, Maximus
Tyrius, and Syrianus.
There was a human-perfectibility man. He quoted Turgot, Price, Priestly, Condorcet, De Stael, and the
"Ambitious Student in Ill Health."
There was Sir Positive Paradox. He observed that all fools were philosophers, and that all philosophers
were fools.
There was AEstheticus Ethix. He spoke of fire, unity, and atoms; bi-part and pre-existent soul; affinity and
discord; primitive intelligence and homöomeria.
There was Theologos Theology. He talked of Eusebius and Arianus; heresy and the Council of Nice;
Puseyism and consubstantialism; Homousios and Homouioisios.
There was Fricassée from the Rocher de Cancale. He mentioned Muriton of red tongue; cauliflowers with
velouté sauce; veal à la St. Menehoult; marinade à la St. Florentin; and orange jellies en mosäiques.
There was Bibulus O'Bumper. He touched upon Latour and Markbrünnen; upon Mousseux and
Chambertin; upon Richbourg and St. George; upon Haubrion, Leonville, and Medoc; upon Barac and
Preignac; upon Grâve, upon Sauterne, upon Lafitte, and upon St. Peray. He shook his head at Clos de
Vougeot, and told, with his eyes shut, the difference between Sherry and Amontillado.
There was Signor Tintontintino from Florence. He discoursed of Cimabué, Arpino, Carpaccio, and
Argostino - of the gloom of Caravaggio, of the amenity of Albano, of the colors of Titian, of the frows of
Rubens, and of the waggeries of Jan Steen.
There was the President of the Fum-Fudge University. He was of opinion that the moon was called Bendis
in Thrace, Bubastis in Egypt, Dian in Rome, and Artemis in Greece. There was a Grand Turk from
Stamboul. He could not help thinking that the angels were horses, cocks, and bulls; that somebody in the
sixth heaven had seventy thousand heads; and that the earth was supported by a sky-blue cow with an
incalculable number of green horns.
There was Delphinus Polyglott. He told us what had become of the eighty-three lost tragedies of
AEschylus; of the fifty-four orations of Isaeus; of the three hundred and ninety-one speeches of Lysias; of
the hundred and eighty treatises of Theophrastus; of the eighth book of the conic sections of Apollonius;
of Pindar's hymns and dithyrambics; and of the five and forty tragedies of Homer Junior.
There was Ferdinand Fitz-Fossillus Feltspar. He informed us all about internal fires and tertiary
formations; about äeriforms, fluidiforms, and solidiforms; about quartz and marl; about schist and schorl;
about gypsum and trap; about talc and calc; about blende and horn-blende; about mica-slate and pudding-
stone; about cyanite and lepidolite; about hematite and tremolite; about antimony and calcedony; about
manganese and whatever you please.
There was myself. I spoke of myself; - of myself, of myself, of myself; - of Nosology, of my pamphlet, and of
myself. I turned up my nose, and I spoke of myself.
"Superb!" said his guests: - and next morning her Grace of Bless-my-Soul paid me a visit.
"Will you go to Almack's, pretty creature?" she said, tapping me under the chin.
"Every bit of it, my love," said I: so I gave it a twist or two, and found myself at Almack's. The rooms were
crowded to suffocation.
"He is come!" exclaimed the Duchess. "He is come, the little love!" - and, seizing me firmly by both hands,
she kissed me thrice upon the nose. A marked sensation immediately ensued.
This was all that could be desired. We exchanged cards. At Chalk-Farm, the next morning, I shot off his
nose - and then called upon my friends.
"My son," he replied, "it is still the study of Nosology; but in hitting the Elector upon the nose you have
overshot your mark. You have a fine nose, it is true; but then Bluddennuff has none. You are damned, and
he has become the hero of the day. I grant you that in Fum-Fudge the greatness of a lion is in proportion
to the size of his proboscis - but, good heavens! there is no competing with a lion who has no proboscis at
all."
LOSS OF BREATH
THE MOST notorious ill-fortune must in the end yield to the untiring courage of philosophy -- as the most
stubborn city to the ceaseless vigilance of an enemy. Shalmanezer, as we have it in holy writings, lay three
years before Samaria; yet it fell. Sardanapalus -- see Diodorus -- maintained himself seven in Nineveh; but
to no purpose. Troy expired at the close of the second lustrum; and Azoth, as Aristaeus declares upon his
honour as a gentleman, opened at last her gates to Psammetichus, after having barred them for the fifth
part of a century....
"Thou wretch! -- thou vixen! -- thou shrew!" said I to my wife on the morning after our wedding; "thou
witch! -- thou hag! -- thou whippersnapper -- thou sink of iniquity! -- thou fiery-faced quintessence of all
that is abominable! -- thou -- thou-" here standing upon tiptoe, seizing her by the throat, and placing my
mouth close to her ear, I was preparing to launch forth a new and more decided epithet of opprobrium,
which should not fail, if ejaculated, to convince her of her insignificance, when to my extreme horror and
astonishment I discovered that I had lost my breath.
The phrases "I am out of breath," "I have lost my breath," etc., are often enough repeated in common
conversation; but it had never occurred to me that the terrible accident of which I speak could bona fide
and actually happen! Imagine -- that is if you have a fanciful turn -- imagine, I say, my wonder -- my
consternation -- my despair!
There is a good genius, however, which has never entirely deserted me. In my most ungovernable moods I
still retain a sense of propriety, et le chemin des passions me conduit -- as Lord Edouard in the "Julie" says
it did him -- a la philosophie veritable.
Although I could not at first precisely ascertain to what degree the occurence had affected me, I
determined at all events to conceal the matter from my wife, until further experience should discover to
me the extent of this my unheard of calamity. Altering my countenance, therefore, in a moment, from its
bepuffed and distorted appearance, to an expression of arch and coquettish benignity, I gave my lady a
pat on the one cheek, and a kiss on the other, and without saying one syllable (Furies! I could not), left
her astonished at my drollery, as I pirouetted out of the room in a Pas de Zephyr.
Behold me then safely ensconced in my private boudoir, a fearful instance of the ill consequences
attending upon irascibility -- alive, with the qualifications of the dead -- dead, with the propensities of the
living -- an anomaly on the face of the earth -- being very calm, yet breathless.
Yes! breathless. I am serious in asserting that my breath was entirely gone. I could not have stirred with it
a feather if my life had been at issue, or sullied even the delicacy of a mirror. Hard fate! -- yet there was
some alleviation to the first overwhelming paroxysm of my sorrow. I found, upon trial, that the powers of
utterance which, upon my inability to proceed in the conversation with my wife, I then concluded to be
totally destroyed, were in fact only partially impeded, and I discovered that had I, at that interesting
crisis, dropped my voice to a singularly deep guttural, I might still have continued to her the
communication of my sentiments; this pitch of voice (the guttural) depending, I find, not upon the current
of the breath, but upon a certain spasmodic action of the muscles of the throat.
Throwing myself upon a chair, I remained for some time absorbed in meditation. My reflections, be sure,
were of no consolatory kind. A thousand vague and lachrymatory fancies took possesion of my soul -- and
even the idea of suicide flitted across my brain; but it is a trait in the perversity of human nature to reject
the obvious and the ready, for the far-distant and equivocal. Thus I shuddered at self-murder as the most
decided of atrocities while the tabby cat purred strenuously upon the rug, and the very water dog
wheezed assiduously under the table, each taking to itself much merit for the strength of its lungs, and all
obviously done in derision of my own pulmonary incapacity.
Oppressed with a tumult of vague hopes and fears, I at length heard the footsteps of my wife descending
the staircase. Being now assured of her absence, I returned with a palpitating heart to the scene of my
disaster.
Carefully locking the door on the inside, I commenced a vigorous search. It was possible, I thought, that,
concealed in some obscure corner, or lurking in some closet or drawer, might be found the lost object of
my inquiry. It might have a vapory -- it might even have a tangible form. Most philosophers, upon many
points of philosophy, are still very unphilosophical. William Godwin, however, says in his "Mandeville,"
that "invisible things are the only realities," and this, all will allow, is a case in point. I would have the
judicious reader pause before accusing such asseverations of an undue quantum of absurdity.
Anaxagoras, it will be remembered, maintained that snow is black, and this I have since found to be the
case.
Long and earnestly did I continue the investigation: but the contemptible reward of my industry and
perseverance proved to be only a set of false teeth, two pair of hips, an eye, and a bundle of billets-doux
from Mr. Windenough to my wife. I might as well here observe that this confirmation of my lady's
partiality for Mr. W. occasioned me little uneasiness. That Mrs. Lackobreath should admire anything so
dissimilar to myself was a natural and necessary evil. I am, it is well known, of a robust and corpulent
appearance, and at the same time somewhat diminutive in stature. What wonder, then, that the lath-like
tenuity of my acquaintance, and his altitude, which has grown into a proverb, should have met with all
due estimation in the eyes of Mrs. Lackobreath. But to return.
My exertions, as I have before said, proved fruitless. Closet after closet -- drawer after drawer -- corner
after corner -- were scrutinized to no purpose. At one time, however, I thought myself sure of my prize,
having, in rummaging a dressing-case, accidentally demolished a bottle of Grandjean's Oil of Archangels -
- which, as an agreeable perfume, I here take the liberty of recommending.
With a heavy heart I returned to my boudoir -- there to ponder upon some method of eluding my wife's
penetration, until I could make arrangements prior to my leaving the country, for to this I had already
made up my mind. In a foreign climate, being unknown, I might, with some probability of success,
endeavor to conceal my unhappy calamity -- a calamity calculated, even more than beggary, to estrange
the affections of the multitude, and to draw down upon the wretch the well-merited indignation of the
virtuous and the happy. I was not long in hesitation. Being naturally quick, I committed to memory the
entire tragedy of "Metamora." I had the good fortune to recollect that in the accentuation of this drama,
or at least of such portion of it as is allotted to the hero, the tones of voice in which I found myself
deficient were altogether unnecessary, and the deep guttural was expected to reign monotonously
throughout.
I practised for some time by the borders of a well frequented marsh; -- herein, however, having no
reference to a similar proceeding of Demosthenes, but from a design peculiarly and conscientiously my
own. Thus armed at all points, I determined to make my wife believe that I was suddenly smitten with a
passion for the stage. In this, I succeeded to a miracle; and to every question or suggestion found myself
at liberty to reply in my most frog-like and sepulchral tones with some passage from the tragedy -- any
portion of which, as I soon took great pleasure in observing, would apply equally well to any particular
subject. It is not to be supposed, however, that in the delivery of such passages I was found at all deficient
in the looking asquint -- the showing my teeth -- the working my knees -- the shuffling my feet -- or in any
of those unmentionable graces which are now justly considered the characteristics of a popular
performer. To be sure they spoke of confining me in a strait-jacket -- but, good God! they never suspected
me of having lost my breath.
Having at length put my affairs in order, I took my seat very early one morning in the mail stage for --,
giving it to be understood, among my acquaintances, that business of the last importance required my
immediate personal attendance in that city.
The coach was crammed to repletion; but in the uncertain twilight the features of my companions could
not be distinguished. Without making any effectual resistance, I suffered myself to be placed between two
gentlemen of colossal dimensions; while a third, of a size larger, requesting pardon for the liberty he was
about to take, threw himself upon my body at full length, and falling asleep in an instant, drowned all my
guttural ejaculations for relief, in a snore which would have put to blush the roarings of the bull of
Phalaris. Happily the state of my respiratory faculties rendered suffocation an accident entirely out of the
question.
As, however, the day broke more distinctly in our approach to the outskirts of the city, my tormentor,
arising and adjusting his shirt-collar, thanked me in a very friendly manner for my civility. Seeing that I
remained motionless (all my limbs were dislocated and my head twisted on one side), his apprehensions
began to be excited; and arousing the rest of the passengers, he communicated, in a very decided
manner, his opinion that a dead man had been palmed upon them during the night for a living and
responsible fellow-traveller; here giving me a thump on the right eye, by way of demonstrating the truth
of his suggestion.
Hereupon all, one after another (there were nine in company), believed it their duty to pull me by the ear.
A young practising physician, too, having applied a pocket-mirror to my mouth, and found me without
breath, the assertion of my persecutor was pronounced a true bill; and the whole party expressed a
determination to endure tamely no such impositions for the future, and to proceed no farther with any
such carcasses for the present.
I was here, accordingly, thrown out at the sign of the "Crow" (by which tavern the coach happened to be
passing), without meeting with any farther accident than the breaking of both my arms, under the left
hind wheel of the vehicle. I must besides do the driver the justice to state that he did not forget to throw
after me the largest of my trunks, which, unfortunately falling on my head, fractured my skull in a manner
at once interesting and extraordinary.
The landlord of the "Crow," who is a hospitable man, finding that my trunk contained sufficient to
indemnify him for any little trouble he might take in my behalf, sent forthwith for a surgeon of his
acquaintance, and delivered me to his care with a bill and receipt for ten dollars.
The purchaser took me to his apartments and commenced operations immediately. Having cut off my
ears, however, he discovered signs of animation. He now rang the bell, and sent for a neighboring
apothecary with whom to consult in the emergency. In case of his suspicions with regard to my existence
proving ultimately correct, he, in the meantime, made an incision in my stomach, and removed several of
my viscera for private dissection.
The apothecary had an idea that I was actually dead. This idea I endeavored to confute, kicking and
plunging with all my might, and making the most furious contortions -- for the operations of the surgeon
had, in a measure, restored me to the possession of my faculties. All, however, was attributed to the
effects of a new galvanic battery, wherewith the apothecary, who is really a man of information,
performed several curious experiments, in which, from my personal share in their fulfillment, I could not
help feeling deeply interested. It was a course of mortification to me, nevertheless, that although I made
several attempts at conversation, my powers of speech were so entirely in abeyance, that I could not even
open my mouth; much less, then, make reply to some ingenious but fanciful theories of which, under
other circumstances, my minute acquaintance with the Hippocratian pathology would have afforded me a
ready confutation.
Not being able to arrive at a conclusion, the practitioners remanded me for farther examination. I was
taken up into a garret; and the surgeon's lady having accommodated me with drawers and stockings, the
surgeon himself fastened my hands, and tied up my jaws with a pocket-handkerchief -- then bolted the
door on the outside as he hurried to his dinner, leaving me alone to silence and to meditation.
I now discovered to my extreme delight that I could have spoken had not my mouth been tied up with the
pocket-handkerchief. Consoling myself with this reflection, I was mentally repeating some passages of the
"Omnipresence of the Deity," as is my custom before resigning myself to sleep, when two cats, of a greedy
and vituperative turn, entering at a hole in the wall, leaped up with a flourish a la Catalani, and alighting
opposite one another on my visage, betook themselves to indecorous contention for the paltry
consideration of my nose.
But, as the loss of his ears proved the means of elevating to the throne of Cyrus, the Magian or Mige-
Gush of Persia, and as the cutting off his nose gave Zopyrus possession of Babylon, so the loss of a few
ounces of my countenance proved the salvation of my body. Aroused by the pain, and burning with
indignation, I burst, at a single effort, the fastenings and the bandage. Stalking across the room I cast a
glance of contempt at the belligerents, and throwing open the sash to their extreme horror and
disappointment, precipitated myself, very dexterously, from the window. this moment passing from the
city jail to the scaffold erected for his execution in the suburbs. His extreme infirmity and long continued
ill health had obtained him the privilege of remaining unmanacled; and habited in his gallows costume --
one very similar to my own, -- he lay at full length in the bottom of the hangman's cart (which happened
to be under the windows of the surgeon at the moment of my precipitation) without any other guard than
the driver, who was asleep, and two recruits of the sixth infantry, who were drunk.
As ill-luck would have it, I alit upon my feet within the vehicle. immediately, he bolted out behind, and
turning down an alley, was out of sight in the twinkling of an eye. The recruits, aroused by the bustle,
could not exactly comprehend the merits of the transaction. Seeing, however, a man, the precise
counterpart of the felon, standing upright in the cart before their eyes, they were of (so they expressed
themselves,) and, having communicated this opinion to one another, they took each a dram, and then
knocked me down with the butt-ends of their muskets.
It was not long ere we arrived at the place of destination. Of course nothing could be said in my defence.
Hanging was my inevitable fate. I resigned myself thereto with a feeling half stupid, half acrimonious.
Being little of a cynic, I had all the sentiments of a dog. The hangman, however, adjusted the noose about
my neck. The drop fell.
I forbear to depict my sensations upon the gallows; although here, undoubtedly, I could speak to the
point, and it is a topic upon which nothing has been well said. In fact, to write upon such a theme it is
necessary to have been hanged. Every author should confine himself to matters of experience. Thus Mark
Antony composed a treatise upon getting drunk.
I may just mention, however, that die I did not. My body was, but I had no breath to be, suspended; and
but for the knot under my left ear (which had the feel of a military stock) I dare say that I should have
experienced very little inconvenience. As for the jerk given to my neck upon the falling of the drop, it
merely proved a corrective to the twist afforded me by the fat gentleman in the coach.
For good reasons, however, I did my best to give the crowd the worth of their trouble. My convulsions
were said to be extraordinary. My spasms it would have been difficult to beat. The populace encored.
Several gentlemen swooned; and a multitude of ladies were carried home in hysterics. Pinxit availed
himself of the opportunity to retouch, from a sketch taken upon the spot, his admirable painting of the
"Marsyas flayed alive."
When I had afforded sufficient amusement, it was thought proper to remove my body from the gallows; --
this the more especially as the real culprit had in the meantime been retaken and recognized, a fact
which I was so unlucky as not to know.
Much sympathy was, of course, exercised in my behalf, and as no one made claim to my corpse, it was
ordered that I should be interred in a public vault.
Here, after due interval, I was deposited. The sexton departed, and I was left alone. A line of Marston's
"Malcontent"-
Death's a good fellow and keeps open house -- struck me at that moment as a palpable lie.
I knocked off, however, the lid of my coffin, and stepped out. The place was dreadfully dreary and damp,
and I became troubled with ennui. By way of amusement, I felt my way among the numerous coffins
ranged in order around. I lifted them down, one by one, and breaking open their lids, busied myself in
speculations about the mortality within.
"This," I soliloquized, tumbling over a carcass, puffy, bloated, and rotund -- "this has been, no doubt, in
every sense of the word, an unhappy -- an unfortunate man. It has been his terrible lot not to walk but to
waddle -- to pass through life not like a human being, but like an elephant -- not like a man, but like a
rhinoceros.
"His attempts at getting on have been mere abortions, and his circumgyratory proceedings a palpable
failure. Taking a step forward, it has been his misfortune to take two toward the right, and three toward
the left. His studies have been confined to the poetry of Crabbe. He can have no idea of the wonder of a
pirouette. To him a pas de papillon has been an abstract conception. He has never ascended the summit
of a hill. He has never viewed from any steeple the glories of a metropolis. Heat has been his mortal
enemy. In the dog-days his days have been the days of a dog. Therein, he has dreamed of flames and
suffocation -- of mountains upon mountains -- of Pelion upon Ossa. He was short of breath -- to say all in a
word, he was short of breath. He thought it extravagant to play upon wind instruments. He was the
inventor of self-moving fans, wind-sails, and ventilators. He patronized Du Pont the bellows-maker, and he
died miserably in attempting to smoke a cigar. His was a case in which I feel a deep interest -- a lot in
which I sincerely sympathize.
"But here," -- said I -- "here" -- and I dragged spitefully from its receptacle a gaunt, tall and peculiar-
looking form, whose remarkable appearance struck me with a sense of unwelcome familiarity -- "here is a
wretch entitled to no earthly commiseration." Thus saying, in order to obtain a more distinct view of my
subject, I applied my thumb and forefinger to its nose, and causing it to assume a sitting position upon
the ground, held it thus, at the length of my arm, while I continued my soliloquy.
-"Entitled," I repeated, "to no earthly commiseration. Who indeed would think of compassioning a
shadow? Besides, has he not had his full share of the blessings of mortality? He was the originator of tall
monuments -- shot-towers -- lightning-rods -- Lombardy poplars. His treatise upon "Shades and Shadows"
has immortalized him. He edited with distinguished ability the last edition of "South on the Bones." He
went early to college and studied pneumatics. He then came home, talked eternally, and played upon the
French-horn. He patronized the bagpipes. Captain Barclay, who walked against Time, would not walk
against him. Windham and Allbreath were his favorite writers, -- his favorite artist, Phiz. He died
gloriously while inhaling gas -- levique flatu corrupitur, like the fama pudicitae in Hieronymus. He was
indubitably a"--
"How can you? -- how -- can -- you?" -- interrupted the object of my animadversions, gasping for breath,
and tearing off, with a desperate exertion, the bandage around its jaws -- "how can you, Mr. Lackobreath,
be so infernally cruel as to pinch me in that manner by the nose? Did you not see how they had fastened
up my mouth -- and you must know -- if you know any thing -- how vast a superfluity of breath I have to
dispose of! If you do not know, however, sit down and you shall see. In my situation it is really a great
relief to be able to open ones mouth -- to be able to expatiate -- to be able to communicate with a person
like yourself, who do not think yourself called upon at every period to interrupt the thread of a
gentleman's discourse. Interruptions are annoying and should undoubtedly be abolished -- don't you think
so? -- no reply, I beg you, -- one person is enough to be speaking at a time. -- I shall be done by and by, and
then you may begin. -- How the devil sir, did you get into this place? -- not a word I beseech you -- been
here some time myself -- terrible accident! -- heard of it, I suppose? -- awful calamity! -- walking under
your windows -- some short while ago -- about the time you were stage-struck -- horrible occurrence! --
heard of "catching one's breath," eh? -- hold your tongue I tell you! -- I caught somebody elses! -- had
always too much of my own -- met Blab at the corner of the street -- wouldn't give me a chance for a word
-- couldn't get in a syllable edgeways -- attacked, consequently, with epilepsis -- Blab made his escape --
damn all fools! -- they took me up for dead, and put me in this place -- pretty doings all of them! -- heard
all you said about me -- every word a lie -- horrible! -- wonderful -- outrageous! -- hideous! --
incomprehensible! -- et cetera -- et cetera -- et cetera -- et cetera-"
It is impossible to conceive my astonishment at so unexpected a discourse, or the joy with which I became
gradually convinced that the breath so fortunately caught by the gentleman (whom I soon recognized as
my neighbor Windenough) was, in fact, the identical expiration mislaid by myself in the conversation with
my wife. Time, place, and circumstances rendered it a matter beyond question. I did not at least during
the long period in which the inventor of Lombardy poplars continued to favor me with his explanations.
In this respect I was actuated by that habitual prudence which has ever been my predominating trait. I
reflected that many difficulties might still lie in the path of my preservation which only extreme exertion
on my part would be able to surmount. Many persons, I considered, are prone to estimate commodities in
their possession -- however valueless to the then proprietor -- however troublesome, or distressing -- in
direct ratio with the advantages to be derived by others from their attainment, or by themselves from
their abandonment. Might not this be the case with Mr. Windenough? In displaying anxiety for the breath
of which he was at present so willing to get rid, might I not lay myself open to the exactions of his
avarice? There are scoundrels in this world, I remembered with a sigh, who will not scruple to take unfair
opportunities with even a next door neighbor, and (this remark is from Epictetus) it is precisely at that
time when men are most anxious to throw off the burden of their own calamities that they feel the least
desirous of relieving them in others.
Upon considerations similar to these, and still retaining my grasp upon the nose of Mr. W., I accordingly
thought proper to model my reply.
"Monster!" I began in a tone of the deepest indignation -- "monster and double-winded idiot! -- dost thou,
whom for thine iniquities it has pleased heaven to accurse with a two-fold respimtion -- dost thou, I say,
presume to address me in the familiar language of an old acquaintance? -- 'I lie,' forsooth! and 'hold my
tongue,' to be sure! -- pretty conversation indeed, to a gentleman with a single breath! -- all this, too,
when I have it in my power to relieve the calamity under which thou dost so justly suffer -- to curtail the
superfluities of thine unhappy respiration."
Like Brutus, I paused for a reply -- with which, like a tornado, Mr. Windenough immediately overwhelmed
me. Protestation followed upon protestation, and apology upon apology. There were no terms with which
he was unwilling to comply, and there were none of which I failed to take the fullest advantage.
Preliminaries being at length arranged, my acquaintance delivered me the respiration; for which (having
carefully examined it) I gave him afterward a receipt.
I am aware that by many I shall be held to blame for speaking in a manner so cursory, of a transaction so
impalpable. It will be thought that I should have entered more minutely, into the details of an occurrence
by which -- and this is very true -- much new light might be thrown upon a highly interesting branch of
physical philosophy.
To all this I am sorry that I cannot reply. A hint is the only answer which I am permitted to make. There
were circumstances -- but I think it much safer upon consideration to say as little as possible about an
affair so delicate -- so delicate, I repeat, and at the time involving the interests of a third party whose
sulphurous resentment I have not the least desire, at this moment, of incurring.
We were not long after this necessary arrangement in effecting an escape from the dungeons of the
sepulchre. The united strength of our resuscitated voices was soon sufficiently apparent. Scissors, the
Whig editor, republished a treatise upon "the nature and origin of subterranean noises." A reply --
rejoinder -- confutation -- and justification -- followed in the columns of a Democratic Gazette. It was not
until the opening of the vault to decide the controversy, that the appearance of Mr. Windenough and
myself proved both parties to have been decidedly in the wrong.
I cannot conclude these details of some very singular passages in a life at all times sufficiently eventful,
without again recalling to the attention of the reader the merits of that indiscriminate philosophy which is
a sure and ready shield against those shafts of calamity which can neither be seen, felt nor fully
understood. It was in the spirit of this wisdom that, among the ancient Hebrews, it was believed the gates
of Heaven would be inevitably opened to that sinner, or saint, who, with good lungs and implicit
confidence, should vociferate the word "Amen!" It was in the spirit of this wisdom that, when a great
plague raged at Athens, and every means had been in vain attempted for its removal, Epimenides, as
Laertius relates, in his second book, of that philosopher, advised the erection of a shrine and temple "to
the proper God."
LYTTLETON BARRY.
THE MAN OF THE CROWD
IT was well said of a certain German book that " er lasst sich nicht lesen " - it does not permit itself to be
read. There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. Men die nightly in their beds,
wringing the hands of ghostly confessors and looking them piteously in the eyes -- die with despair of
heart and convulsion of throat, on account of the hideousness of mysteries which will not suffer
themselves to be revealed. Now and then, alas, the conscience of man takes up a burthen so heavy in
horror that it can be thrown down only into the grave. And thus the essence of all crime is undivulged.
Not long ago, about the closing in of an evening in autumn, I sat at the large bow window of the D----
Coffee-House in London. For some months I had been ill in health, but was now convalescent, and, with
returning strength, found myself in one of those happy moods which are so precisely the converse of
ennui - moods of the keenest appetency, when the film from the mental vision departs - the B,L - and the
intellect, electrified, surpasses as greatly its every-day condition, as does the vivid yet candid reason of
Leibnitz, the mad and flimsy rhetoric of Gorgias. Merely to breathe was enjoyment; and I derived positive
pleasure even from many of the legitimate sources of pain. I felt a calm but inquisitive interest in every
thing. With a cigar in my mouth and a newspaper in my lap, I had been amusing myself for the greater
part of the afternoon, now in poring over advertisements, now in observing the promiscuous company in
the room, and now in peering through the smoky panes into the street.
This latter is one of the principal thoroughfares of the city, and had been very much crowded during the
whole day. But, as the darkness came on, the throng momently increased; and, by the time the lamps
were well lighted, two dense and continuous tides of population were rushing past the door. At this
particular period of the evening I had never before been in a similar situation, and the tumultuous sea of
human heads filled me, therefore, with a delicious novelty of emotion. I gave up, at length, all care of
things within the hotel, and became absorbed in contemplation of the scene without.
At first my observations took an abstract and generalizing turn. I looked at the passengers in masses, and
thought of them in their aggregate relations. Soon, however, I descended to details, and regarded with
minute interest the innumerable varieties of figure, dress, air, gait, visage, and expression of
countenance.
By far the greater number of those who went by had a satisfied business-like demeanor, and seemed to be
thinking only of making their way through the press. Their brows were knit, and their eyes rolled quickly;
when pushed against by fellow-wayfarers they evinced no symptom of impatience, but adjusted their
clothes and hurried on. Others, still a numerous class, were restless in their movements, had flushed
faces, and talked and gesticulated to themselves, as if feeling in solitude on account of the very denseness
of the company around. When impeded in their progress, these people suddenly ceased muttering, but re-
doubled their gesticulations, and awaited, with an absent and overdone smile upon the lips, the course of
the persons impeding them. If jostled, they bowed profusely to the jostlers, and appeared overwhelmed
with confusion. - There was nothing very distinctive about these two large classes beyond what I have
noted. Their habiliments belonged to that order which is pointedly termed the decent. They were
undoubtedly noblemen, merchants, attorneys, tradesmen, stock-jobbers - the Eupatrids and the common-
places of society - men of leisure and men actively engaged in affairs of their own - conducting business
upon their own responsibility. They did not greatly excite my attention.
The tribe of clerks was an obvious one and here I discerned two remarkable divisions. There were the
junior clerks of flash houses - young gentlemen with tight coats, bright boots, well-oiled hair, and
supercilious lips. Setting aside a certain dapperness of carriage, which may be termed deskism for want
of a better word, the manner of these persons seemed to me an exact fac-simile of what had been the
perfection of bon ton about twelve or eighteen months before. They wore the cast-off graces of the
gentry; - and this, I believe, involves the best definition of the class.
The division of the upper clerks of staunch firms, or of the "steady old fellows," it was not possible to
mistake. These were known by their coats and pantaloons of black or brown, made to sit comfortably, with
white cravats and waistcoats, broad solid-looking shoes, and thick hose or gaiters. - They had all slightly
bald heads, from which the right ears, long used to pen-holding, had an odd habit of standing off on end. I
observed that they always removed or settled their hats with both hands, and wore watches, with short
gold chains of a substantial and ancient pattern. Theirs was the affectation of respectability; - if indeed
there be an affectation so honorable.
There were many individuals of dashing appearance, whom I easily understood as belonging to the race
of swell pick-pockets with which all great cities are infested. I watched these gentry with much
inquisitiveness, and found it difficult to imagine how they should ever be mistaken for gentlemen by
gentlemen themselves. Their voluminousness of wristband, with an air of excessive frankness, should
betray them at once.
The gamblers, of whom I descried not a few, were still more easily recognisable. They wore every variety
of dress, from that of the desperate thimble-rig bully, with velvet waistcoat, fancy neckerchief, gilt chains,
and filagreed buttons, to that of the scrupulously inornate clergyman, than which nothing could be less
liable to suspicion. Still all were distinguished by a certain sodden swarthiness of complexion, a filmy
dimness of eye, and pallor and compression of lip. There were two other traits, moreover, by which I
could always detect them; - a guarded lowness of tone in conversation, and a more than ordinary
extension of the thumb in a direction at right angles with the fingers. - Very often, in company with these
sharpers, I observed an order of men somewhat different in habits, but still birds of a kindred feather.
They may be defined as the gentlemen who live by their wits. They seem to prey upon the public in two
battalions - that of the dandies and that of the military men. Of the first grade the leading features are
long locks and smiles; of the second frogged coats and frowns.
Descending in the scale of what is termed gentility, I found darker and deeper themes for speculation. I
saw Jew pedlars, with hawk eyes flashing from countenances whose every other feature wore only an
expression of abject humility; sturdy professional street beggars scowling upon mendicants of a better
stamp, whom despair alone had driven forth into the night for charity; feeble and ghastly invalids, upon
whom death had placed a sure hand, and who sidled and tottered through the mob, looking every one
beseechingly in the face, as if in search of some chance consolation, some lost hope; modest young girls
returning from long and late labor to a cheerless home, and shrinking more tearfully than indignantly
from the glances of ruffians, whose direct contact, even, could not be avoided; women of the town of all
kinds and of all ages - the unequivocal beauty in the prime of her womanhood, putting one in mind of the
statue in Lucian, with the surface of Parian marble, and the interior filled with filth - the loathsome and
utterly lost leper in rags - the wrinkled, bejewelled and paint-begrimed beldame, making a last effort at
youth - the mere child of immature form, yet, from long association, an adept in the dreadful coquetries of
her trade, and burning with a rabid ambition to be ranked the equal of her elders in vice; drunkards
innumerable and indescribable - some in shreds and patches, reeling, inarticulate, with bruised visage
and lack-lustre eyes - some in whole although filthy garments, with a slightly unsteady swagger, thick
sensual lips, and hearty-looking rubicund faces - others clothed in materials which had once been good,
and which even now were scrupulously well brushed - men who walked with a more than naturally firm
and springy step, but whose countenances were fearfully pale, whose eyes hideously wild and red, and
who clutched with quivering fingers, as they strode through the crowd, at every object which came within
their reach; beside these, pie-men, porters, coal- heavers, sweeps; organ-grinders, monkey-exhibiters and
ballad mongers, those who vended with those who sang; ragged artizans and exhausted laborers of every
description, and all full of a noisy and inordinate vivacity which jarred discordantly upon the ear, and gave
an aching sensation to the eye.
As the night deepened, so deepened to me the interest of the scene; for not only did the general character
of the crowd materially alter (its gentler features retiring in the gradual withdrawal of the more orderly
portion of the people, and its harsher ones coming out into bolder relief, as the late hour brought forth
every species of infamy from its den,) but the rays of the gas-lamps, feeble at first in their struggle with
the dying day, had now at length gained ascendancy, and threw over every thing a fitful and garish lustre.
All was dark yet splendid - as that ebony to which has been likened the style of Tertullian.
The wild effects of the light enchained me to an examination of individual faces; and although the rapidity
with which the world of light flitted before the window, prevented me from casting more than a glance
upon each visage, still it seemed that, in my then peculiar mental state, I could frequently read, even in
that brief interval of a glance, the history of long years.
With my brow to the glass, I was thus occupied in scrutinizing the mob, when suddenly there came into
view a countenance (that of a decrepid old man, some sixty-five or seventy years of age,) - a countenance
which at once arrested and absorbed my whole attention, on account of the absolute idiosyncrasy of its
expression. Any thing even remotely resembling that expression I had never seen before. I well remember
that my first thought, upon beholding it, was that Retzch, had he viewed it, would have greatly preferred
it to his own pictural incarnations of the fiend. As I endeavored, during the brief minute of my original
survey, to form some analysis of the meaning conveyed, there arose confusedly and paradoxically within
my mind, the ideas of vast mental power, of caution, of penuriousness, of avarice, of coolness, of malice,
of blood thirstiness, of triumph, of merriment, of excessive terror, of intense - of supreme despair. I felt
singularly aroused, startled, fascinated. "How wild a history," I said to myself, "is written within that
bosom!" Then came a craving desire to keep the man in view - to know more of him. Hurriedly putting on
an overcoat, and seizing my hat and cane, I made my way into the street, and pushed through the crowd
in the direction which I had seen him take; for he had already disappeared. With some little difficulty I at
length came within sight of him, approached, and followed him closely, yet cautiously, so as not to attract
his attention.
I had now a good opportunity of examining his person. He was short in stature, very thin, and apparently
very feeble. His clothes, generally, were filthy and ragged; but as he came, now and then, within the
strong glare of a lamp, I perceived that his linen, although dirty, was of beautiful texture; and my vision
deceived me, or, through a rent in a closely-buttoned and evidently second-handed roquelaire which
enveloped him, I caught a glimpse both of a diamond and of a dagger. These observations heightened my
curiosity, and I resolved to follow the stranger whithersoever he should go.
It was now fully night-fall, and a thick humid fog hung over the city, soon ending in a settled and heavy
rain. This change of weather had an odd effect upon the crowd, the whole of which was at once put into
new commotion, and overshadowed by a world of umbrellas. The waver, the jostle, and the hum increased
in a tenfold degree. For my own part I did not much regard the rain - the lurking of an old fever in my
system rendering the moisture somewhat too dangerously pleasant. Tying a handkerchief about my
mouth, I kept on. For half an hour the old man held his way with difficulty along the great thoroughfare;
and I here walked close at his elbow through fear of losing sight of him. Never once turning his head to
look back, he did not observe me. By and bye he passed into a cross street, which, although densely filled
with people, was not quite so much thronged as the main one he had quitted. Here a change in his
demeanor became evident. He walked more slowly and with less object than before - more hesitatingly.
He crossed and re-crossed the way repeatedly without apparent aim; and the press was still so thick that,
at every such movement, I was obliged to follow him closely. The street was a narrow and long one, and
his course lay within it for nearly an hour, during which the passengers had gradually diminished to about
that number which is ordinarily seen at noon in Broadway near the Park - so vast a difference is there
between a London populace and that of the most frequented American city. A second turn brought us into
a square, brilliantly lighted, and overflowing with life. The old manner of the stranger re-appeared. His
chin fell upon his breast, while his eyes rolled wildly from under his knit brows, in every direction, upon
those who hemmed him in. He urged his way steadily and perseveringly. I was surprised, however, to find,
upon his having made the circuit of the square, that he turned and retraced his steps. Still more was I
astonished to see him repeat the same walk several times -- once nearly detecting me as he came round
with a sudden movement.
In this exercise he spent another hour, at the end of which we met with far less interruption from
passengers than at first. The rain fell fast; the air grew cool; and the people were retiring to their homes.
With a gesture of impatience, the wanderer passed into a bye-street comparatively deserted. Down this,
some quarter of a mile long, he rushed with an activity I could not have dreamed of seeing in one so aged,
and which put me to much trouble in pursuit. A few minutes brought us to a large and busy bazaar, with
the localities of which the stranger appeared well acquainted, and where his original demeanor again
became apparent, as he forced his way to and fro, without aim, among the host of buyers and sellers.
During the hour and a half, or thereabouts, which we passed in this place, it required much caution on my
part to keep him within reach without attracting his observation. Luckily I wore a pair of caoutchouc
over-shoes, and could move about in perfect silence. At no moment did he see that I watched him. He
entered shop after shop, priced nothing, spoke no word, and looked at all objects with a wild and vacant
stare. I was now utterly amazed at his behavior, and firmly resolved that we should not part until I had
satisfied myself in some measure respecting him.
A loud-toned clock struck eleven, and the company were fast deserting the bazaar. A shop-keeper, in
putting up a shutter, jostled the old man, and at the instant I saw a strong shudder come over his frame.
He hurried into the street, looked anxiously around him for an instant, and then ran with incredible
swiftness through many crooked and people-less lanes, until we emerged once more upon the great
thoroughfare whence we had started -- the street of the D---- Hotel. It no longer wore, however, the same
aspect. It was still brilliant with gas; but the rain fell fiercely, and there were few persons to be seen. The
stranger grew pale. He walked moodily some paces up the once populous avenue, then, with a heavy sigh,
turned in the direction of the river, and, plunging through a great variety of devious ways, came out, at
length, in view of one of the principal theatres. It was about being closed, and the audience were
thronging from the doors. I saw the old man gasp as if for breath while he threw himself amid the crowd;
but I thought that the intense agony of his countenance had, in some measure, abated. His head again fell
upon his breast; he appeared as I had seen him at first. I observed that he now took the course in which
had gone the greater number of the audience - but, upon the whole, I was at a loss to comprehend the
waywardness of his actions.
As he proceeded, the company grew more scattered, and his old uneasiness and vacillation were
resumed. For some time he followed closely a party of some ten or twelve roisterers; but from this
number one by one dropped off, until three only remained together, in a narrow and gloomy lane little
frequented. The stranger paused, and, for a moment, seemed lost in thought; then, with every mark of
agitation, pursued rapidly a route which brought us to the verge of the city, amid regions very different
from those we had hitherto traversed. It was the most noisome quarter of London, where every thing
wore the worst impress of the most deplorable poverty, and of the most desperate crime. By the dim light
of an accidental lamp, tall, antique, worm-eaten, wooden tenements were seen tottering to their fall, in
directions so many and capricious that scarce the semblance of a passage was discernible between them.
The paving-stones lay at random, displaced from their beds by the rankly-growing grass. Horrible filth
festered in the dammed-up gutters. The whole atmosphere teemed with desolation. Yet, as we proceeded,
the sounds of human life revived by sure degrees, and at length large bands of the most abandoned of a
London populace were seen reeling to and fro. The spirits of the old man again flickered up, as a lamp
which is near its death hour. Once more he strode onward with elastic tread. Suddenly a corner was
turned, a blaze of light burst upon our sight, and we stood before one of the huge suburban temples of
Intemperance - one of the palaces of the fiend, Gin.
It was now nearly day-break; but a number of wretched inebriates still pressed in and out of the flaunting
entrance. With a half shriek of joy the old man forced a passage within, resumed at once his original
bearing, and stalked backward and forward, without apparent object, among the throng. He had not been
thus long occupied, however, before a rush to the doors gave token that the host was closing them for the
night. It was something even more intense than despair that I then observed upon the countenance of the
singular being whom I had watched so pertinaciously. Yet he did not hesitate in his career, but, with a
mad energy, retraced his steps at once, to the heart of the mighty London. Long and swiftly he fled, while
I followed him in the wildest amazement, resolute not to abandon a scrutiny in which I now felt an
interest all-absorbing. The sun arose while we proceeded, and, when we had once again reached that
most thronged mart of the populous town, the street of the D---- Hotel, it presented an appearance of
human bustle and activity scarcely inferior to what I had seen on the evening before. And here, long, amid
the momently increasing confusion, did I persist in my pursuit of the stranger. But, as usual, he walked to
and fro, and during the day did not pass from out the turmoil of that street. And, as the shades of the
second evening came on, I grew wearied unto death, and, stopping fully in front of the wanderer, gazed at
him steadfastly in the face. He noticed me not, but resumed his solemn walk, while I, ceasing to follow,
remained absorbed in contemplation. "This old man," I said at length, "is the type and the genius of deep
crime. He refuses to be alone. [page 228:] He is the man of the crowd. It will be in vain to follow; for I
shall learn no more of him, nor of his deeds. The worst heart of the world is a grosser book than the
'Hortulus Animae,' {*1} and perhaps it is but one of the great mercies of God that 'er lasst sich nicht
lesen.' "
{*1} The " Hortulus Animae cum Oratiunculis Aliquibus Superadditis " of Grünninger
THE MAN THAT WAS USED UP: A TALE OF THE LATE BUGABOO AND KICKAPOO CAMPAIGN
CORNEILLE
I CANNOT just now remember when or where I first made the acquaintance of that truly fine-looking
fellow, Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith. Some one did introduce me to the gentleman, I am
sure - at some public meeting, I know very well - held about something of great importance, no doubt - at
some place or other, I feel convinced, - whose name I have unaccountably forgotten. The truth is - that the
introduction was attended, upon my part, with a degree of anxious embarrassment which operated to
prevent any definite impressions of either time or place. I am constitutionally nervous - this, with me, is a
family failing, and I can't help it. In especial, the slightest appearance of mystery - of any point I cannot
exactly comprehend - puts me at once into a pitiable state of agitation.
There was something, as it were, remarkable - yes, remarkable, although this is but a feeble term to
express my full meaning - about the entire individuality of the personage in question. He was, perhaps, six
feet in height, and of a presence singularly commanding. There was an air distingué pervading the whole
man, which spoke of high breeding, and hinted at high birth. Upon this topic - the topic of Smith's
personal appearance - I have a kind of melancholy satisfaction in being minute. His head of hair would
have done honor to a Brutus; - nothing could be more richly flowing, or possess a brighter gloss. It was of
a jetty black; - which was also the color, or more properly the no color of his unimaginable whiskers. You
perceive I cannot speak of these latter without enthusiasm; it is not too much to say that they were the
handsomest pair of whiskers under the sun. At all events, they encircled, and at times partially
overshadowed, a mouth utterly unequalled. Here were the most entirely even, and the most brilliantly
white of all conceivable teeth. From between them, upon every proper occasion, issued a voice of
surpassing clearness, melody, and strength. In the matter of eyes, also, my acquaintance was pre-
eminently endowed. Either one of such a pair was worth a couple of the ordinary ocular organs. They
were of a deep hazel, exceedingly large and lustrous; and there was perceptible about them, ever and
anon, just that amount of interesting obliquity which gives pregnancy to expression.
The bust of the General was unquestionably the finest bust I ever saw. For your life you could not have
found a fault with its wonderful proportion. This rare peculiarity set off to great advantage a pair of
shoulders which would have called up a blush of conscious inferiority into the countenance of the marble
Apollo. I have a passion for fine shoulders, and may say that I never beheld them in perfection before. The
arms altogether were admirably modelled. Nor were the lower limbs less superb. These were, indeed, the
ne plus ultra of good legs. Every connoisseur in such matters admitted the legs to be good. There was
neither too much flesh, nor too little, - neither rudeness nor fragility. I could not imagine a more graceful
curve than that of the os femoris, and there was just that due gentle prominence in the rear of the fibula
which goes to the conformation of a properly proportioned calf. I wish to God my young and talented
friend Chiponchipino, the sculptor, had but seen the legs of Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith.
But although men so absolutely fine-looking are neither as plenty as reasons or blackberries, still I could
not bring myself to believe that the remarkable something to which I alluded just now, - that the odd air of
je ne sais quoi which hung about my new acquaintance, - lay altogether, or indeed at all, in the supreme
excellence of his bodily endowments. Perhaps it might be traced to the manner; - yet here again I could
not pretend to be positive. There was a primness, not to say stiffness, in his carriage - a degree of
measured, and, if I may so express it, of rectangular precision, attending his every movement, which,
observed in a more diminutive figure, would have had the least little savor in the world, of affectation,
pomposity or constraint, but which noticed in a gentleman of his undoubted dimensions, was readily
placed to the account of reserve, hauteur - of a commendable sense, in short, of what is due to the dignity
of colossal proportion.
The kind friend who presented me to General Smith whispered in my ear some few words of comment
upon the man. He was a remarkable man - a very remarkable man - indeed one of the most remarkable
men of the age. He was an especial favorite, too, with the ladies - chiefly on account of his high reputation
for courage.
"In that point he is unrivalled - indeed he is a perfect desperado - a down-right fire-eater, and no mistake,"
said my friend, here dropping his voice excessively low, and thrilling me with the mystery of his tone.
"A downright fire-eater, and no mistake. Showed that, I should say, to some purpose, in the late
tremendous swamp-fight away down South, with the Bugaboo and Kickapoo Indians." [Here my friend
opened his eyes to some extent.] "Bless my soul! - blood and thunder, and all that! - prodigies of valor! -
heard of him of course? - you know he's the man" ---
"Man alive, how do you do? why, how are ye? very glad to see ye, indeed!" here interrupted the General
himself, seizing my companion by the hand as he drew near, and bowing stiffly, but profoundly, as I was
presented. I then thought, (and I think so still,) that I never heard a clearer nor a stronger voice, nor
beheld a finer set of teeth: but I must say that I was sorry for the interruption just at that moment, as,
owing to the whispers and insinuations aforesaid, my interest had been greatly excited in the hero of the
Bugaboo and Kickapoo campaign.
However, the delightfully luminous conversation of Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith soon
completely dissipated this chagrin. My friend leaving us immediately, we had quite a long tête-à-tête, and
I was not only pleased but really - instructed. I never heard a more fluent talker, or a man of greater
general information. With becoming modesty, he forebore, nevertheless, to touch upon the theme I had
just then most at heart - I mean the mysterious circumstances attending the Bugaboo war - and, on my
own part, what I conceive to be a proper sense of delicacy forbade me to broach the subject; although, in
truth, I was exceedingly tempted to do so. I perceived, too, that the gallant soldier preferred topics of
philosophical interest, and that he delighted, especially, in commenting upon the rapid march of
mechanical invention. Indeed, lead him where I would, this was a point to which he invariably came back.
"There is nothing at all like it," he would say; "we are a wonderful people, and live in a wonderful age.
Parachutes and rail-roads - man-traps and spring-guns! Our steam-boats are upon every sea, and the
Nassau balloon packet is about to run regular trips (fare either way only twenty pounds sterling) between
London and Timbuctoo. And who shall calculate the immense influence upon social life - upon arts - upon
commerce - upon literature - which will be the immediate result of the great principles of electro
magnetics! Nor, is this all, let me assure you! There is really no end to the march of invention. The most
wonderful - the most ingenious - and let me add, Mr. - Mr. - Thompson, I believe, is your name - let me
add, I say, the most useful - the most truly useful mechanical contrivances, are daily springing up like
mushrooms, if I may so express myself, or, more figuratively, like - ah - grasshoppers - like grasshoppers,
Mr. Thompson - about us and ah - ah - ah - around us!"
Thompson, to be sure, is not my name; but it is needless to say that I left General Smith with a heightened
interest in the man, with an exalted opinion of his conversational powers, and a deep sense of the
valuable privileges we enjoy in living in this age of mechanical invention. My curiosity, however, had not
been altogether satisfied, and I resolved to prosecute immediate inquiry among my acquaintances
touching the Brevet Brigadier General himself, and particularly respecting the tremendous events
quorum pars magna fuit, during the Bugaboo and Kickapoo campaign.
The first opportunity which presented itself, and which (horresco referens) I did not in the least scruple to
seize, occurred at the Church of the Reverend Doctor Drummummupp, where I found myself established,
one Sunday, just at sermon time, not only in the pew, but by the side, of that worthy and communicative
little friend of mine, Miss Tabitha T. Thus seated, I congratulated myself, and with much reason, upon the
very flattering state of affairs. If any person knew anything about Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C.
Smith, that person, it was clear to me, was Miss Tabitha T. We telegraphed a few signals, and then
commenced, soto voce, a brisk tête-à-tête.
"Smith!" said she, in reply to my very earnest inquiry; "Smith! - why, not General John A. B. C.? Bless me,
I thought you knew all about him! This is a wonderfully inventive age! Horrid affair that! - a bloody set of
wretches, those Kickapoos! - fought like a hero - prodigies of valor - immortal renown. Smith! - Brevet
Brigadier General John A. B. C.! why, you know he's the man" ---
"Man," here broke in Doctor Drummummupp, at the top of his voice, and with a thump that came near
knocking the pulpit about our ears; "man that is born of a woman hath but a short time to live; he cometh
up and is cut down like a flower!" I started to the extremity of the pew, and perceived by the animated
looks of the divine, that the wrath which had nearly proved fatal to the pulpit had been excited by the
whispers of the lady and myself. There was no help for it; so I submitted with a good grace, and listened,
in all the martyrdom of dignified silence, to the balance of that very capital discourse.
Next evening found me a somewhat late visitor at the Rantipole theatre, where I felt sure of satisfying my
curiosity at once, by merely stepping into the box of those exquisite specimens of affability and
omniscience, the Misses Arabella and Miranda Cognoscenti. That fine tragedian, Climax, was doing Iago
to a very crowded house, and I experienced some little difficulty in making my wishes understood;
especially, as our box was next the slips, and completely overlooked the stage.
"Smith?" said Miss Arabella, as she at length comprehended the purport of my query; "Smith? - why, not
General John A. B. C.?"
"Smith?" inquired Miranda, musingly. "God bless me, did you ever behold a finer figure?"
"Madam!"
"Or a more delicate sense of the true beauties of Shakespeare? Be so good as to look at that leg!"
"Smith?" said she, "why, not General John A. B. C.? Horrid affair that, wasn't it? - great wretches, those
Bugaboos - savage and so on - but we live in a wonderfully inventive age! - Smith! - O yes! great man! -
perfect desperado - immortal renown - prodigies of valor! Never heard!" [This was given in a scream.]
"Bless my soul! why, he's the man" ---
"----- mandragora Nor all the drowsy syrups of the world Shall ever medicine thee to that sweet sleep
Which thou owd'st yesterday!"
here roared our Climax just in my ear, and shaking his fist in my face all the time, in a way that I couldn't
stand, and I wouldn't. I left the Misses Cognoscenti immediately, went behind the scenes forthwith, and
gave the beggarly scoundrel such a thrashing as I trust he will remember to the day of his death.
At the soirée of the lovely widow, Mrs. Kathleen O'Trump, I was confident that I should meet with no
similar disappointment. Accordingly, I was no sooner seated at the card-table, with my pretty hostess for a
vis-à-vis, than I propounded those questions the solution of which had become a matter so essential to my
peace.
"Smith?" said my partner, "why, not General John A. B. C.? Horrid affair that, wasn't it? - diamonds, did
you say? - terrible wretches those Kickapoos! - we are playing whist, if you please, Mr. Tattle - however,
this is the age of invention, most certainly the age, one may say - the age par excellence - speak French? -
oh, quite a hero - perfect desperado! - no hearts, Mr. Tattle? I don't believe it! - immortal renown and all
that! - prodigies of valor! Never heard!! - why, bless me, he's the man" ---
"Mann? - Captain Mann?" here screamed some little feminine interloper from the farthest corner of the
room. "Are you talking about Captain Mann and the duel? - oh, I must hear - do tell - go on, Mrs.
O'Trump! - do now go on!" And go on Mrs. O'Trump did - all about a certain Captain Mann, who was
either shot or hung, or should have been both shot and hung. Yes! Mrs. O'Trump, she went on, and I - I
went off. There was no chance of hearing anything farther that evening in regard to Brevet Brigadier
General John A. B. C. Smith.
Still I consoled myself with the reflection that the tide of ill luck would not run against me forever, and so
determined to make a bold push for information at the rout of that bewitching little angel, the graceful
Mrs. Pirouette.
"Smith?" said Mrs. P., as we twirled about together in a pas de zephyr, "Smith? - why, not General John A.
B. C.? Dreadful business that of the Bugaboos, wasn't it? - dreadful creatures, those Indians! - do turn out
your toes! I really am ashamed of you - man of great courage, poor fellow! - but this is a wonderful age for
invention - O dear me, I'm out of breath - quite a desperado - prodigies of valor - never heard!! - can't
believe it - I shall have to sit down and enlighten you - Smith! why, he's the man" ---
"Man-Fred, I tell you!" here bawled out Miss Bas-Bleu, as I led Mrs. Pirouette to a seat. "Did ever anybody
hear the like? It's Man-Fred, I say, and not at all by any means Man-Friday." Here Miss Bas-Bleu
beckoned to me in a very peremptory manner; and I was obliged, will I nill I, to leave Mrs. P. for the
purpose of deciding a dispute touching the title of a certain poetical drama of Lord Byron's. Although I
pronounced, with great promptness, that the true title was Man-Friday, and not by any means Man-Fred,
yet when I returned to seek Mrs. Pirouette she was not to be discovered, and I made my retreat from the
house in a very bitter spirit of animosity against the whole race of the Bas-Bleus.
Matters had now assumed a really serious aspect, and I resolved to call at once upon my particular friend,
Mr. Theodore Sinivate; for I knew that here at least I should get something like definite information.
"Smith?" said he, in his well-known peculiar way of drawling out his syllables; "Smith? - why, not General
John A. B. C.? Savage affair that with the Kickapo-o-o-os, wasn't it? Say! don't you think so? - perfect
despera-a-ado - great pity, 'pon my honor! - wonderfully inventive age! - pro-o-odigies of valor! By the by,
did you ever hear about Captain Ma-a-a-a-n?"
"Hem! - oh well! - quite la même cho-o-ose, as we say in France. Smith, eh? Brigadier-General John A. B.
C.? I say" - [here Mr. S. thought proper to put his finger to the side of his nose] - "I say, you don't mean to
insinuate now, really and truly, and conscientiously, that you don't know all about that affair of Smith's, as
well as I do, eh? Smith? John A-B-C.? Why, bless me, he's the ma-a-an" ---
"No-o-o!" said he, looking wise, "nor the man in the mo-o-on."
This reply I considered a pointed and positive insult, and so left the house at once in high dudgeon, with a
firm resolve to call my friend, Mr. Sinivate, to a speedy account for his ungentlemanly conduct and ill-
breeding.
In the meantime, however, I had no notion of being thwarted touching the information I desired. There
was one resource left me yet. I would go to the fountain-head. I would call forthwith upon the General
himself, and demand, in explicit terms, a solution of this abominable piece of mystery. Here, at least,
there should be no chance for equivocation. I would be plain, positive, peremptory - as short as pie-crust -
as concise as Tacitus or Montesquieu.
It was early when I called, and the General was dressing; but I pleaded urgent business, and was shown
at once into his bed-room by an old negro valet, who remained in attendance during my visit. As I entered
the chamber, I looked about, of course, for the occupant, but did not immediately perceive him. There was
a large and exceedingly odd-looking bundle of something which lay close by my feet on the floor, and, as I
was not in the best humor in the world, I gave it a kick out of the way.
"Hem! ahem! rather civil that, I should say!" said the bundle, in one of the smallest, and altogether the
funniest little voices, between a squeak and a whistle, that I ever heard in all the days of my existence.
I fairly shouted with terror, and made off, at a tangent, into the farthest extremity of the room.
"God bless me! my dear fellow," here again whistled the bundle, "what - what - what - why, what is the
matter? I really believe you don't know me at all."
What could I say to all this - what could I? I staggered into an arm-chair, and, with staring eyes and open
mouth, awaited the solution of the wonder.
"Strange you shouldn't know me though, isn't it?" presently re-squeaked the nondescript, which I now
perceived was performing, upon the floor, some inexplicable evolution, very analogous to the drawing on
of a stocking. There was only a single leg, however, apparent.
"Strange you shouldn't know me, though, isn't it? Pompey, bring me that leg!" Here Pompey handed the
bundle, a very capital cork leg, already dressed, which it screwed on in a trice; and then it stood up
before my eyes.
"And a bloody action it was," continued the thing, as if in a soliloquy; "but then one mustn't fight with the
Bugaboos and Kickapoos, and think of coming off with a mere scratch. Pompey, I'll thank you now for that
arm. Thomas" [turning to me] "is decidedly the best hand at a cork leg; but if you should ever want an
arm, my dear fellow, you must really let me recommend you to Bishop." Here Pompey screwed on an arm.
"We had rather hot work of it, that you may say. Now, you dog, slip on my shoulders and bosom! Pettitt
makes the best shoulders, but for a bosom you will have to go to Ducrow."
"Bosom!" said I.
"Pompey, will you never be ready with that wig? Scalping is a rough process after all; but then you can
procure such a capital scratch at De L'Orme's."
"Scratch!"
"Now, you nigger, my teeth! For a good set of these you had better go to Parmly's at once; high prices, but
excellent work. I swallowed some very capital articles, though, when the big Bugaboo rammed me down
with the butt end of his rifle."
"O yes, by-the-by, my eye - here, Pompey, you scamp, screw it in ! Those Kickapoos are not so very slow at
a gouge; but he's a belied man, that Dr. Williams, after all; you can't imagine how well I see with the eyes
of his make."
I now began very clearly to perceive that the object before me was nothing more nor less than my new
acquaintance, Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith. The manipulations of Pompey had made, I
must confess, a very striking difference in the appearance of the personal man. The voice, however, still
puzzled me no little; but even this apparent mystery was speedily cleared up.
"Pompey, you black rascal," squeaked the General, "I really do believe you would let me go out without my
palate."
Hereupon, the negro, grumbling out an apology, went up to his master, opened his mouth with the
knowing air of a horse-jockey, and adjusted therein a somewhat singular-looking machine, in a very
dexterous manner, that I could not altogether comprehend. The alteration, however, in the entire
expression of the General's countenance was instantaneous and surprising. When he again spoke, his
voice had resumed all that rich melody and strength which I had noticed upon our original introduction.
"D--n the vagabonds!" said he, in so clear a tone that I positively started at the change, "D--n the
vagabonds! they not only knocked in the roof of my mouth, but took the trouble to cut off at least seven-
eighths of my tongue. There isn't Bonfanti's equal, however, in America, for really good articles of this
description. I can recommend you to him with confidence," [here the General bowed,] "and assure you
that I have the greatest pleasure in so doing."
I acknowledged his kindness in my best manner, and took leave of him at once, with a perfect
understanding of the true state of affairs - with a full comprehension of the mystery which had troubled
me so long. It was evident. It was a clear case. Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith was the man
--- was the man that was used up.
THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH
THE "Red Death" had long devastated the country. No pestilence had ever been so fatal, or so hideous.
Blood was its Avatar and its seal -- the redness and the horror of blood. There were sharp pains, and
sudden dizziness, and then profuse bleeding at the pores, with dissolution. The scarlet stains upon the
body and especially upon the face of the victim, were the pest ban which shut him out from the aid and
from the sympathy of his fellow-men. And the whole seizure, progress and termination of the disease,
were the incidents of half an hour.
But the Prince Prospero was happy and dauntless and sagacious. When his dominions were half
depopulated, he summoned to his presence a thousand hale and light-hearted friends from among the
knights and dames of his court, and with these retired to the deep seclusion of one of his castellated
abbeys. This was an extensive and magnificent structure, the creation of the prince's own eccentric yet
august taste. A strong and lofty wall girdled it in. This wall had gates of iron. The courtiers, having
entered, brought furnaces and massy hammers and welded the bolts. They resolved to leave means
neither of ingress or egress to the sudden impulses of despair or of frenzy from within. The abbey was
amply provisioned. With such precautions the courtiers might bid defiance to contagion. The external
world could take care of itself. In the meantime it was folly to grieve, or to think. The prince had provided
all the appliances of pleasure. There were buffoons, there were improvisatori, there were ballet-dancers,
there were musicians, there was Beauty, there was wine. All these and security were within. Without was
the "Red Death."
It was toward the close of the fifth or sixth month of his seclusion, and while the pestilence raged most
furiously abroad, that the Prince Prospero entertained his thousand friends at a masked ball of the most
unusual magnificence.
It was a voluptuous scene, that masquerade. But first let me tell of the rooms in which it was held. There
were seven -- an imperial suite. In many palaces, however, such suites form a long and straight vista,
while the folding doors slide back nearly to the walls on either hand, so that the view of the whole extent
is scarcely impeded. Here the case was very different; as might have been expected from the duke's love
of the bizarre. The apartments were so irregularly disposed that the vision embraced but little more than
one at a time. There was a sharp turn at every twenty or thirty yards, and at each turn a novel effect. To
the right and left, in the middle of each wall, a tall and narrow Gothic window looked out upon a closed
corridor which pursued the windings of the suite. These windows were of stained glass whose color
varied in accordance with the prevailing hue of the decorations of the chamber into which it opened. That
at the eastern extremity was hung, for example, in blue -- and vividly blue were its windows. The second
chamber was purple in its ornaments and tapestries, and here the panes were purple. The third was
green throughout, and so were the casements. The fourth was furnished and lighted with orange -- the
fifth with white -- the sixth with violet. The seventh apartment was closely shrouded in black velvet
tapestries that hung all over the ceiling and down the walls, falling in heavy folds upon a carpet of the
same material and hue. But in this chamber only, the color of the windows failed to correspond with the
decorations. The panes here were scarlet -- a deep blood color. Now in no one of the seven apartments
was there any lamp or candelabrum, amid the profusion of golden ornaments that lay scattered to and fro
or depended from the roof. There was no light of any kind emanating from lamp or candle within the suite
of chambers. But in the corridors that followed the suite, there stood, opposite to each window, a heavy
tripod, bearing a brazier of fire that protected its rays through the tinted glass and so glaringly illumined
the room. And thus were produced a multitude of gaudy and fantastic appearances. But in the western or
black chamber the effect of the fire-light that streamed upon the dark hangings through the blood-tinted
panes, was ghastly in the extreme, and produced so wild a look upon the countenances of those who
entered, that there were few of the company bold enough to set foot within its precincts at all.
It was in this apartment, also, that there stood against the western wall, a gigantic clock of ebony. Its
pendulum swung to and fro with a dull, heavy, monotonous clang; and when the minute-hand made the
circuit of the face, and the hour was to be stricken, there came from the brazen lungs of the clock a sound
which was clear and loud and deep and exceedingly musical, but of so peculiar a note and emphasis that,
at each lapse of an hour, the musicians of the orchestra were constrained to pause, momentarily, in their
performance, to hearken to the sound; and thus the waltzers perforce ceased their evolutions; and there
was a brief disconcert of the whole gay company; and, while the chimes of the clock yet rang, it was
observed that the giddiest grew pale, and the more aged and sedate passed their hands over their brows
as if in confused reverie or meditation. But when the echoes had fully ceased, a light laughter at once
pervaded the assembly; the musicians looked at each other and smiled as if at their own nervousness and
folly, and made whispering vows, each to the other, that the next chiming of the clock should produce in
them no similar emotion; and then, after the lapse of sixty minutes, (which embrace three thousand and
six hundred seconds of the Time that flies,) there came yet another chiming of the clock, and then were
the same disconcert and tremulousness and meditation as before.
But, in spite of these things, it was a gay and magnificent revel. The tastes of the duke were peculiar. He
had a fine eye for colors and effects. He disregarded the decora of mere fashion. His plans were bold and
fiery, and his conceptions glowed with barbaric lustre. There are some who would have thought him mad.
His followers felt that he was not. It was necessary to hear and see and touch him to be sure that he was
not.
He had directed, in great part, the moveable embellishments of the seven chambers, upon occasion of this
great fete; and it was his own guiding taste which had given character to the masqueraders. Be sure they
were grotesque. There were much glare and glitter and piquancy and phantasm -- much of what has been
since seen in "Hernani." There were arabesque figures with unsuited limbs and appointments. There were
delirious fancies such as the madman fashions. There was much of the beautiful, much of the wanton,
much of the bizarre, something of the terrible, and not a little of that which might have excited disgust. To
and fro in the seven chambers there stalked, in fact, a multitude of dreams. And these -- the dreams --
writhed in and about, taking hue from the rooms, and causing the wild music of the orchestra to seem as
the echo of their steps. And, anon, there strikes the ebony clock which stands in the hall of the velvet. And
then, for a moment, all is still, and all is silent save the voice of the clock. The dreams are stiff-frozen as
they stand. But the echoes of the chime die away -- they have endured but an instant -- and a light, half-
subdued laughter floats after them as they depart. And now again the music swells, and the dreams live,
and writhe to and fro more merrily than ever, taking hue from the many-tinted windows through which
stream the rays from the tripods. But to the chamber which lies most westwardly of the seven, there are
now none of the maskers who venture; for the night is waning away; and there flows a ruddier light
through the blood-colored panes; and the blackness of the sable drapery appals; and to him whose foot
falls upon the sable carpet, there comes from the near clock of ebony a muffled peal more solemnly
emphatic than any which reaches their ears who indulge in the more remote gaieties of the other
apartments.
But these other apartments were densely crowded, and in them beat feverishly the heart of life. And the
revel went whirlingly on, until at length there commenced the sounding of midnight upon the clock. And
then the music ceased, as I have told; and the evolutions of the waltzers were quieted; and there was an
uneasy cessation of all things as before. But now there were twelve strokes to be sounded by the bell of
the clock; and thus it happened, perhaps, that more of thought crept, with more of time, into the
meditations of the thoughtful among those who revelled. And thus, too, it happened, perhaps, that before
the last echoes of the last chime had utterly sunk into silence, there were many individuals in the crowd
who had found leisure to become aware of the presence of a masked figure which had arrested the
attention of no single individual before. And the rumor of this new presence having spread itself
whisperingly around, there arose at length from the whole company a buzz, or murmur, expressive of
disapprobation and surprise -- then, finally, of terror, of horror, and of disgust.
In an assembly of phantasms such as I have painted, it may well be supposed that no ordinary appearance
could have excited such sensation. In truth the masquerade license of the night was nearly unlimited; but
the figure in question had out-Heroded Herod, and gone beyond the bounds of even the prince's indefinite
decorum. There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion.
Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can
be made. The whole company, indeed, seemed now deeply to feel that in the costume and bearing of the
stranger neither wit nor propriety existed. The figure was tall and gaunt, and shrouded from head to foot
in the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the visage was made so nearly to resemble the
countenance of a stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny must have had difficulty in detecting the cheat.
And yet all this might have been endured, if not approved, by the mad revellers around. But the mummer
had gone so far as to assume the type of the Red Death. His vesture was dabbled in blood -- and his broad
brow, with all the features of the face, was besprinkled with the scarlet horror.
When the eyes of Prince Prospero fell upon this spectral image (which with a slow and solemn movement,
as if more fully to sustain its role, stalked to and fro among the waltzers) he was seen to be convulsed, in
the first moment with a strong shudder either of terror or distaste; but, in the next, his brow reddened
with rage.
"Who dares?" he demanded hoarsely of the courtiers who stood near him -- "who dares insult us with this
blasphemous mockery? Seize him and unmask him -- that we may know whom we have to hang at sunrise,
from the battlements!"
It was in the eastern or blue chamber in which stood the Prince Prospero as he uttered these words. They
rang throughout the seven rooms loudly and clearly -- for the prince was a bold and robust man, and the
music had become hushed at the waving of his hand.
It was in the blue room where stood the prince, with a group of pale courtiers by his side. At first, as he
spoke, there was a slight rushing movement of this group in the direction of the intruder, who at the
moment was also near at hand, and now, with deliberate and stately step, made closer approach to the
speaker. But from a certain nameless awe with which the mad assumptions of the mummer had inspired
the whole party, there were found none who put forth hand to seize him; so that, unimpeded, he passed
within a yard of the prince's person; and, while the vast assembly, as if with one impulse, shrank from the
centres of the rooms to the walls, he made his way uninterruptedly, but with the same solemn and
measured step which had distinguished him from the first, through the blue chamber to the purple --
through the purple to the green -- through the green to the orange -- through this again to the white --
and even thence to the violet, ere a decided movement had been made to arrest him. It was then,
however, that the Prince Prospero, maddening with rage and the shame of his own momentary cowardice,
rushed hurriedly through the six chambers, while none followed him on account of a deadly terror that
had seized upon all. He bore aloft a drawn dagger, and had approached, in rapid impetuosity, to within
three or four feet of the retreating figure, when the latter, having attained the extremity of the velvet
apartment, turned suddenly and confronted his pursuer. There was a sharp cry -- and the dagger dropped
gleaming upon the sable carpet, upon which, instantly afterwards, fell prostrate in death the Prince
Prospero. Then, summoning the wild courage of despair, a throng of the revellers at once threw
themselves into the black apartment, and, seizing the mummer, whose tall figure stood erect and
motionless within the shadow of the ebony clock, gasped in unutterable horror at finding the grave-
cerements and corpse-like mask which they handled with so violent a rudeness, untenanted by any
tangible form.
And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one
by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing
posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames
of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.
MELLONTA TAUTA
I have the honor of sending you, for your magazine, an article which I hope you will be able to
comprehend rather more distinctly than I do myself. It is a translation, by my friend, Martin Van Buren
Mavis, (sometimes called the "Poughkeepsie Seer") of an odd-looking MS. which I found, about a year
ago, tightly corked up in a jug floating in the Mare Tenebrarum -- a sea well described by the Nubian
geographer, but seldom visited now-a-days, except for the transcendentalists and divers for crotchets.
Truly yours,
EDGAR A. POE
April, 1, 2848
NOW, my dear friend -- now, for your sins, you are to suffer the infliction of a long gossiping letter. I tell
you distinctly that I am going to punish you for all your impertinences by being as tedious, as discursive,
as incoherent and as unsatisfactory as possible. Besides, here I am, cooped up in a dirty balloon, with
some one or two hundred of the canaille, all bound on a pleasure excursion, (what a funny idea some
people have of pleasure!) and I have no prospect of touching terra firma for a month at least. Nobody to
talk to. Nothing to do. When one has nothing to do, then is the time to correspond with ones friends. You
perceive, then, why it is that I write you this letter -- it is on account of my ennui and your sins.
Get ready your spectacles and make up your mind to be annoyed. I mean to write at you every day during
this odious voyage.
Heigho! when will any Invention visit the human pericranium? Are we forever to be doomed to the
thousand inconveniences of the balloon? Will nobody contrive a more expeditious mode of progress? The
jog-trot movement, to my thinking, is little less than positive torture. Upon my word we have not made
more than a hundred miles the hour since leaving home! The very birds beat us -- at least some of them. I
assure you that I do not exaggerate at all. Our motion, no doubt, seems slower than it actually is -- this on
account of our having no objects about us by which to estimate our velocity, and on account of our going
with the wind. To be sure, whenever we meet a balloon we have a chance of perceiving our rate, and
then, I admit, things do not appear so very bad. Accustomed as I am to this mode of travelling, I cannot
get over a kind of giddiness whenever a balloon passes us in a current directly overhead. It always seems
to me like an immense bird of prey about to pounce upon us and carry us off in its claws. One went over
us this morning about sunrise, and so nearly overhead that its drag-rope actually brushed the network
suspending our car, and caused us very serious apprehension. Our captain said that if the material of the
bag had been the trumpery varnished "silk" of five hundred or a thousand years ago, we should inevitably
have been damaged. This silk, as he explained it to me, was a fabric composed of the entrails of a species
of earth-worm. The worm was carefully fed on mulberries -- kind of fruit resembling a water-melon -- and,
when sufficiently fat, was crushed in a mill. The paste thus arising was called papyrus in its primary state,
and went through a variety of processes until it finally became "silk." Singular to relate, it was once much
admired as an article of female dress! Balloons were also very generally constructed from it. A better kind
of material, it appears, was subsequently found in the down surrounding the seed-vessels of a plant
vulgarly called euphorbium, and at that time botanically termed milk-weed. This latter kind of silk was
designated as silk-buckingham, on account of its superior durability, and was usually prepared for use by
being varnished with a solution of gum caoutchouc -- a substance which in some respects must have
resembled the gutta percha now in common use. This caoutchouc was occasionally called Indian rubber
or rubber of twist, and was no doubt one of the numerous fungi. Never tell me again that I am not at
heart an antiquarian.
Talking of drag-ropes -- our own, it seems, has this moment knocked a man overboard from one of the
small magnetic propellers that swarm in ocean below us -- a boat of about six thousand tons, and, from all
accounts, shamefully crowded. These diminutive barques should be prohibited from carrying more than a
definite number of passengers. The man, of course, was not permitted to get on board again, and was
soon out of sight, he and his life-preserver. I rejoice, my dear friend, that we live in an age so enlightened
that no such a thing as an individual is supposed to exist. It is the mass for which the true Humanity
cares. By-the-by, talking of Humanity, do you know that our immortal Wiggins is not so original in his
views of the Social Condition and so forth, as his contemporaries are inclined to suppose? Pundit assures
me that the same ideas were put nearly in the same way, about a thousand years ago, by an Irish
philosopher called Furrier, on account of his keeping a retail shop for cat peltries and other furs. Pundit
knows, you know; there can be no mistake about it. How very wonderfully do we see verified every day,
the profound observation of the Hindoo Aries Tottle (as quoted by Pundit) -- "Thus must we say that, not
once or twice, or a few times, but with almost infinite repetitions, the same opinions come round in a
circle among men."
April 2. -- Spoke to-day the magnetic cutter in charge of the middle section of floating telegraph wires. I
learn that when this species of telegraph was first put into operation by Horse, it was considered quite
impossible to convey the wires over sea, but now we are at a loss to comprehend where the difficulty lay!
So wags the world. Tempora mutantur -- excuse me for quoting the Etruscan. What would we do without
the Atalantic telegraph? (Pundit says Atlantic was the ancient adjective.) We lay to a few minutes to ask
the cutter some questions, and learned, among other glorious news, that civil war is raging in Africa,
while the plague is doing its good work beautifully both in Yurope and Ayesher. Is it not truly remarkable
that, before the magnificent light shed upon philosophy by Humanity, the world was accustomed to
regard War and Pestilence as calamities? Do you know that prayers were actually offered up in the
ancient temples to the end that these evils (!) might not be visited upon mankind? Is it not really difficult
to comprehend upon what principle of interest our forefathers acted? Were they so blind as not to
perceive that the destruction of a myriad of individuals is only so much positive advantage to the mass!
April 3. -- It is really a very fine amusement to ascend the rope-ladder leading to the summit of the
balloon-bag, and thence survey the surrounding world. From the car below you know the prospect is not
so comprehensive -- you can see little vertically. But seated here (where I write this) in the luxuriously-
cushioned open piazza of the summit, one can see everything that is going on in all directions. Just now
there is quite a crowd of balloons in sight, and they present a very animated appearance, while the air is
resonant with the hum of so many millions of human voices. I have heard it asserted that when Yellow or
(Pundit will have it) Violet, who is supposed to have been the first aeronaut, maintained the practicability
of traversing the atmosphere in all directions, by merely ascending or descending until a favorable
current was attained, he was scarcely hearkened to at all by his contemporaries, who looked upon him as
merely an ingenious sort of madman, because the philosophers (?) of the day declared the thing
impossible. Really now it does seem to me quite unaccountable how any thing so obviously feasible could
have escaped the sagacity of the ancient savans. But in all ages the great obstacles to advancement in Art
have been opposed by the so-called men of science. To be sure, our men of science are not quite so
bigoted as those of old: -- oh, I have something so queer to tell you on this topic. Do you know that it is
not more than a thousand years ago since the metaphysicians consented to relieve the people of the
singular fancy that there existed but two possible roads for the attainment of Truth! Believe it if you can!
It appears that long, long ago, in the night of Time, there lived a Turkish philosopher (or Hindoo possibly)
called Aries Tottle. This person introduced, or at all events propagated what was termed the deductive or
a priori mode of investigation. He started with what he maintained to be axioms or "self-evident truths,"
and thence proceeded "logically" to results. His greatest disciples were one Neuclid, and one Cant. Well,
Aries Tottle flourished supreme until advent of one Hog, surnamed the "Ettrick Shepherd," who preached
an entirely different system, which he called the a posteriori or inductive. His plan referred altogether to
Sensation. He proceeded by observing, analyzing, and classifying facts-instantiae naturae, as they were
affectedly called -- into general laws. Aries Tottle's mode, in a word, was based on noumena; Hog's on
phenomena. Well, so great was the admiration excited by this latter system that, at its first introduction,
Aries Tottle fell into disrepute; but finally he recovered ground and was permitted to divide the realm of
Truth with his more modern rival. The savans now maintained the Aristotelian and Baconian roads were
the sole possible avenues to knowledge. "Baconian," you must know, was an adjective invented as
equivalent to Hog-ian and more euphonious and dignified.
Now, my dear friend, I do assure you, most positively, that I represent this matter fairly, on the soundest
authority and you can easily understand how a notion so absurd on its very face must have operated to
retard the progress of all true knowledge -- which makes its advances almost invariably by intuitive
bounds. The ancient idea confined investigations to crawling; and for hundreds of years so great was the
infatuation about Hog especially, that a virtual end was put to all thinking, properly so called. No man
dared utter a truth to which he felt himself indebted to his Soul alone. It mattered not whether the truth
was even demonstrably a truth, for the bullet-headed savans of the time regarded only the road by which
he had attained it. They would not even look at the end. "Let us see the means," they cried, "the means!"
If, upon investigation of the means, it was found to come under neither the category Aries (that is to say
Ram) nor under the category Hog, why then the savans went no farther, but pronounced the "theorist" a
fool, and would have nothing to do with him or his truth.
Now, it cannot be maintained, even, that by the crawling system the greatest amount of truth would be
attained in any long series of ages, for the repression of imagination was an evil not to be compensated
for by any superior certainty in the ancient modes of investigation. The error of these Jurmains, these
Vrinch, these Inglitch, and these Amriccans (the latter, by the way, were our own immediate progenitors),
was an error quite analogous with that of the wiseacre who fancies that he must necessarily see an object
the better the more closely he holds it to his eyes. These people blinded themselves by details. When they
proceeded Hoggishly, their "facts" were by no means always facts -- a matter of little consequence had it
not been for assuming that they were facts and must be facts because they appeared to be such. When
they proceeded on the path of the Ram, their course was scarcely as straight as a ram's horn, for they
never had an axiom which was an axiom at all. They must have been very blind not to see this, even in
their own day; for even in their own day many of the long "established" axioms had been rejected. For
example -- "Ex nihilo nihil fit"; "a body cannot act where it is not"; "there cannot exist antipodes";
"darkness cannot come out of light" -- all these, and a dozen other similar propositions, formerly admitted
without hesitation as axioms, were, even at the period of which I speak, seen to be untenable. How
absurd in these people, then, to persist in putting faith in "axioms" as immutable bases of Truth! But even
out of the mouths of their soundest reasoners it is easy to demonstrate the futility, the impalpability of
their axioms in general. Who was the soundest of their logicians? Let me see! I will go and ask Pundit and
be back in a minute.... Ah, here we have it! Here is a book written nearly a thousand years ago and lately
translated from the Inglitch -- which, by the way, appears to have been the rudiment of the Amriccan.
Pundit says it is decidedly the cleverest ancient work on its topic, Logic. The author (who was much
thought of in his day) was one Miller, or Mill; and we find it recorded of him, as a point of some
importance, that he had a mill-horse called Bentham. But let us glance at the treatise!
Ah! -- "Ability or inability to conceive," says Mr. Mill, very properly, "is in no case to be received as a
criterion of axiomatic truth." What modern in his senses would ever think of disputing this truism? The
only wonder with us must be, how it happened that Mr. Mill conceived it necessary even to hint at any
thing so obvious. So far good -- but let us turn over another paper. What have we here? -- "Contradictories
cannot both be true -- that is, cannot co-exist in nature." Here Mr. Mill means, for example, that a tree
must be either a tree or not a tree -- that it cannot be at the same time a tree and not a tree. Very well;
but I ask him why. His reply is this -- and never pretends to be any thing else than this -- "Because it is
impossible to conceive that contradictories can both be true." But this is no answer at all, by his own
showing, for has he not just admitted as a truism that "ability or inability to conceive is in no case to be
received as a criterion of axiomatic truth."
Now I do not complain of these ancients so much because their logic is, by their own showing, utterly
baseless, worthless and fantastic altogether, as because of their pompous and imbecile proscription of all
other roads of Truth, of all other means for its attainment than the two preposterous paths -- the one of
creeping and the one of crawling -- to which they have dared to confine the Soul that loves nothing so
well as to soar.
By the by, my dear friend, do you not think it would have puzzled these ancient dogmaticians to have
determined by which of their two roads it was that the most important and most sublime of all their truths
was, in effect, attained? I mean the truth of Gravitation. Newton owed it to Kepler. Kepler admitted that
his three laws were guessed at -- these three laws of all laws which led the great Inglitch mathematician
to his principle, the basis of all physical principle -- to go behind which we must enter the Kingdom of
Metaphysics. Kepler guessed -- that is to say imagined. He was essentially a "theorist" -- that word now of
so much sanctity, formerly an epithet of contempt. Would it not have puzzled these old moles too, to have
explained by which of the two "roads" a cryptographist unriddles a cryptograph of more than usual
secrecy, or by which of the two roads Champollion directed mankind to those enduring and almost
innumerable truths which resulted from his deciphering the Hieroglyphics.
One word more on this topic and I will be done boring you. Is it not passing strange that, with their
eternal prattling about roads to Truth, these bigoted people missed what we now so clearly perceive to be
the great highway -- that of Consistency? Does it not seem singular how they should have failed to deduce
from the works of God the vital fact that a perfect consistency must be an absolute truth! How plain has
been our progress since the late announcement of this proposition! Investigation has been taken out of
the hands of the ground-moles and given, as a task, to the true and only true thinkers, the men of ardent
imagination. These latter theorize. Can you not fancy the shout of scorn with which my words would be
received by our progenitors were it possible for them to be now looking over my shoulder? These men, I
say, theorize; and their theories are simply corrected, reduced, systematized -- cleared, little by little, of
their dross of inconsistency -- until, finally, a perfect consistency stands apparent which even the most
stolid admit, because it is a consistency, to be an absolute and an unquestionable truth.
April 4. -- The new gas is doing wonders, in conjunction with the new improvement with gutta percha.
How very safe, commodious, manageable, and in every respect convenient are our modern balloons! Here
is an immense one approaching us at the rate of at least a hundred and fifty miles an hour. It seems to be
crowded with people -- perhaps there are three or four hundred passengers -- and yet it soars to an
elevation of nearly a mile, looking down upon poor us with sovereign contempt. Still a hundred or even
two hundred miles an hour is slow travelling after all. Do you remember our flight on the railroad across
the Kanadaw continent? -- fully three hundred miles the hour -- that was travelling. Nothing to be seen
though -- nothing to be done but flirt, feast and dance in the magnificent saloons. Do you remember what
an odd sensation was experienced when, by chance, we caught a glimpse of external objects while the
cars were in full flight? Every thing seemed unique -- in one mass. For my part, I cannot say but that I
preferred the travelling by the slow train of a hundred miles the hour. Here we were permitted to have
glass windows -- even to have them open -- and something like a distinct view of the country was
attainable.... Pundit says that the route for the great Kanadaw railroad must have been in some measure
marked out about nine hundred years ago! In fact, he goes so far as to assert that actual traces of a road
are still discernible -- traces referable to a period quite as remote as that mentioned. The track, it appears
was double only; ours, you know, has twelve paths; and three or four new ones are in preparation. The
ancient rails were very slight, and placed so close together as to be, according to modern notions, quite
frivolous, if not dangerous in the extreme. The present width of track -- fifty feet -- is considered, indeed,
scarcely secure enough. For my part, I make no doubt that a track of some sort must have existed in very
remote times, as Pundit asserts; for nothing can be clearer, to my mind, than that, at some period -- not
less than seven centuries ago, certainly -- the Northern and Southern Kanadaw continents were united;
the Kanawdians, then, would have been driven, by necessity, to a great railroad across the continent.
April 5. -- I am almost devoured by ennui. Pundit is the only conversible person on board; and he, poor
soul! can speak of nothing but antiquities. He has been occupied all the day in the attempt to convince me
that the ancient Amriccans governed themselves! -- did ever anybody hear of such an absurdity? -- that
they existed in a sort of every-man-for-himself confederacy, after the fashion of the "prairie dogs" that we
read of in fable. He says that they started with the queerest idea conceivable, viz: that all men are born
free and equal -- this in the very teeth of the laws of gradation so visibly impressed upon all things both in
the moral and physical universe. Every man "voted," as they called it -- that is to say meddled with public
affairs -- until at length, it was discovered that what is everybody's business is nobody's, and that the
"Republic" (so the absurd thing was called) was without a government at all. It is related, however, that
the first circumstance which disturbed, very particularly, the self-complacency of the philosophers who
constructed this "Republic," was the startling discovery that universal suffrage gave opportunity for
fraudulent schemes, by means of which any desired number of votes might at any time be polled, without
the possibility of prevention or even detection, by any party which should be merely villainous enough not
to be ashamed of the fraud. A little reflection upon this discovery sufficed to render evident the
consequences, which were that rascality must predominate -- in a word, that a republican government
could never be any thing but a rascally one. While the philosophers, however, were busied in blushing at
their stupidity in not having foreseen these inevitable evils, and intent upon the invention of new theories,
the matter was put to an abrupt issue by a fellow of the name of Mob, who took every thing into his own
hands and set up a despotism, in comparison with which those of the fabulous Zeros and
Hellofagabaluses were respectable and delectable. This Mob (a foreigner, by-the-by), is said to have been
the most odious of all men that ever encumbered the earth. He was a giant in stature -- insolent,
rapacious, filthy, had the gall of a bullock with the heart of a hyena and the brains of a peacock. He died,
at length, by dint of his own energies, which exhausted him. Nevertheless, he had his uses, as every thing
has, however vile, and taught mankind a lesson which to this day it is in no danger of forgetting -- never
to run directly contrary to the natural analogies. As for Republicanism, no analogy could be found for it
upon the face of the earth -- unless we except the case of the "prairie dogs," an exception which seems to
demonstrate, if anything, that democracy is a very admirable form of government -- for dogs.
April 6. -- Last night had a fine view of Alpha Lyrae, whose disk, through our captain's spy-glass, subtends
an angle of half a degree, looking very much as our sun does to the naked eye on a misty day. Alpha
Lyrae, although so very much larger than our sun, by the by, resembles him closely as regards its spots,
its atmosphere, and in many other particulars. It is only within the last century, Pundit tells me, that the
binary relation existing between these two orbs began even to be suspected. The evident motion of our
system in the heavens was (strange to say!) referred to an orbit about a prodigious star in the centre of
the galaxy. About this star, or at all events about a centre of gravity common to all the globes of the Milky
Way and supposed to be near Alcyone in the Pleiades, every one of these globes was declared to be
revolving, our own performing the circuit in a period of 117,000,000 of years! We, with our present lights,
our vast telescopic improvements, and so forth, of course find it difficult to comprehend the ground of an
idea such as this. Its first propagator was one Mudler. He was led, we must presume, to this wild
hypothesis by mere analogy in the first instance; but, this being the case, he should have at least adhered
to analogy in its development. A great central orb was, in fact, suggested; so far Mudler was consistent.
This central orb, however, dynamically, should have been greater than all its surrounding orbs taken
together. The question might then have been asked -- "Why do we not see it?" -- we, especially, who
occupy the mid region of the cluster -- the very locality near which, at least, must be situated this
inconceivable central sun. The astronomer, perhaps, at this point, took refuge in the suggestion of non-
luminosity; and here analogy was suddenly let fall. But even admitting the central orb non-luminous, how
did he manage to explain its failure to be rendered visible by the incalculable host of glorious suns glaring
in all directions about it? No doubt what he finally maintained was merely a centre of gravity common to
all the revolving orbs -- but here again analogy must have been let fall. Our system revolves, it is true,
about a common centre of gravity, but it does this in connection with and in consequence of a material
sun whose mass more than counterbalances the rest of the system. The mathematical circle is a curve
composed of an infinity of straight lines; but this idea of the circle -- this idea of it which, in regard to all
earthly geometry, we consider as merely the mathematical, in contradistinction from the practical, idea --
is, in sober fact, the practical conception which alone we have any right to entertain in respect to those
Titanic circles with which we have to deal, at least in fancy, when we suppose our system, with its fellows,
revolving about a point in the centre of the galaxy. Let the most vigorous of human imaginations but
attempt to take a single step toward the comprehension of a circuit so unutterable! I would scarcely be
paradoxical to say that a flash of lightning itself, travelling forever upon the circumference of this
inconceivable circle, would still forever be travelling in a straight line. That the path of our sun along
such a circumference -- that the direction of our system in such an orbit -- would, to any human
perception, deviate in the slightest degree from a straight line even in a million of years, is a proposition
not to be entertained; and yet these ancient astronomers were absolutely cajoled, it appears, into
believing that a decisive curvature had become apparent during the brief period of their astronomical
history -- during the mere point -- during the utter nothingness of two or three thousand years! How
incomprehensible, that considerations such as this did not at once indicate to them the true state of
affairs -- that of the binary revolution of our sun and Alpha Lyrae around a common centre of gravity!
April 7. -- Continued last night our astronomical amusements. Had a fine view of the five Neptunian
asteroids, and watched with much interest the putting up of a huge impost on a couple of lintels in the
new temple at Daphnis in the moon. It was amusing to think that creatures so diminutive as the lunarians,
and bearing so little resemblance to humanity, yet evinced a mechanical ingenuity so much superior to
our own. One finds it difficult, too, to conceive the vast masses which these people handle so easily, to be
as light as our own reason tells us they actually are.
April 8. -- Eureka! Pundit is in his glory. A balloon from Kanadaw spoke us to-day and threw on board
several late papers; they contain some exceedingly curious information relative to Kanawdian or rather
Amriccan antiquities. You know, I presume, that laborers have for some months been employed in
preparing the ground for a new fountain at Paradise, the Emperor's principal pleasure garden. Paradise,
it appears, has been, literally speaking, an island time out of mind -- that is to say, its northern boundary
was always (as far back as any record extends) a rivulet, or rather a very narrow arm of the sea. This arm
was gradually widened until it attained its present breadth -- a mile. The whole length of the island is nine
miles; the breadth varies materially. The entire area (so Pundit says) was, about eight hundred years ago,
densely packed with houses, some of them twenty stories high; land (for some most unaccountable
reason) being considered as especially precious just in this vicinity. The disastrous earthquake, however,
of the year 2050, so totally uprooted and overwhelmed the town (for it was almost too large to be called a
village) that the most indefatigable of our antiquarians have never yet been able to obtain from the site
any sufficient data (in the shape of coins, medals or inscriptions) wherewith to build up even the ghost of
a theory concerning the manners, customs, &c., &c., &c., of the aboriginal inhabitants. Nearly all that we
have hitherto known of them is, that they were a portion of the Knickerbocker tribe of savages infesting
the continent at its first discovery by Recorder Riker, a knight of the Golden Fleece. They were by no
means uncivilized, however, but cultivated various arts and even sciences after a fashion of their own. It
is related of them that they were acute in many respects, but were oddly afflicted with monomania for
building what, in the ancient Amriccan, was denominated "churches" -- a kind of pagoda instituted for the
worship of two idols that went by the names of Wealth and Fashion. In the end, it is said, the island
became, nine tenths of it, church. The women, too, it appears, were oddly deformed by a natural
protuberance of the region just below the small of the back -- although, most unaccountably, this
deformity was looked upon altogether in the light of a beauty. One or two pictures of these singular
women have in fact, been miraculously preserved. They look very odd, very -- like something between a
turkey-cock and a dromedary.
Well, these few details are nearly all that have descended to us respecting the ancient Knickerbockers. It
seems, however, that while digging in the centre of the emperors garden, (which, you know, covers the
whole island), some of the workmen unearthed a cubical and evidently chiseled block of granite, weighing
several hundred pounds. It was in good preservation, having received, apparently, little injury from the
convulsion which entombed it. On one of its surfaces was a marble slab with (only think of it!) an
inscription -- a legible inscription. Pundit is in ecstacies. Upon detaching the slab, a cavity appeared,
containing a leaden box filled with various coins, a long scroll of names, several documents which appear
to resemble newspapers, with other matters of intense interest to the antiquarian! There can be no doubt
that all these are genuine Amriccan relics belonging to the tribe called Knickerbocker. The papers thrown
on board our balloon are filled with fac-similes of the coins, MSS., typography, &c., &c. I copy for your
amusement the Knickerbocker inscription on the marble slab:-
The Memory of
GEORGE WASHINGTON
on the
Lord Cornwallis
A. D. 1781
Good-bye, until I see you again. Whether you ever get this letter or not is point of little importance, as I
write altogether for my own amusement. I shall cork the MS. up in a bottle, however, and throw it into the
sea.
Yours everlastingly,
PUNDITA
MESMERIC REVELATION
WHATEVER doubt may still envelop the rationale of mesmerism, its startling facts are now almost
universally admitted. Of these latter, those who doubt, are your mere doubters by profession - an
unprofitable and disreputable tribe. There can be no more absolute waste of time than the attempt to
prove, at the present day, that man, by mere exercise of will, can so impress his fellow, as to cast him into
an abnormal condition, of which the phenomena resemble very closely those of death, or at least
resemble them more nearly than they do the phenomena of any other normal condition within our
cognizance; that, while in this state, the person so impressed employs only with effort, and then feebly,
the external organs of sense, yet perceives, with keenly refined perception, and through channels
supposed unknown, matters beyond the scope of the physical organs; that, moreover, his intellectual
faculties are wonderfully exalted and invigorated; that his sympathies with the person so impressing him
are profound; and, finally, that his susceptibility to the impression increases with its frequency, while, in
the same proportion, the peculiar phenomena elicited are more extended and more pronounced.
I say that these - which are the laws of mesmerism in its general features - it would be supererogation to
demonstrate; nor shall I inflict upon my readers so needless a demonstration; to-day. My purpose at
present is a very different one indeed. I am impelled, even in the teeth of a world of prejudice, to detail
without comment the very remarkable substance of a colloquy, occurring between a sleep-waker and
myself.
I had been long in the habit of mesmerizing the person in question, (Mr. Vankirk,) and the usual acute
susceptibility and exaltation of the mesmeric perception had supervened. For many months he had been
laboring under confirmed phthisis, the more distressing effects of which had been relieved by my
manipulations; and on the night of Wednesday, the fifteenth instant, I was summoned to his bedside.
The invalid was suffering with acute pain in the region of the heart, and breathed with great difficulty,
having all the ordinary symptoms of asthma. In spasms such as these he had usually found relief from the
application of mustard to the nervous centres, but to-night this had been attempted in vain.
As I entered his room he greeted me with a cheerful smile, and although evidently in much bodily pain,
appeared to be, mentally, quite at ease.
"I sent for you to-night," he said, "not so much to administer to my bodily ailment, as to satisfy me
concerning certain psychal impressions which, of late, have occasioned me much anxiety and surprise. I
need not tell you how sceptical I have hitherto been on the topic of the soul's immortality. I cannot deny
that there has always existed, as if in that very soul which I have been denying, a vague half-sentiment of
its own existence. But this half-sentiment at no time amounted to conviction. With it my reason had
nothing to do. All attempts at logical inquiry resulted, indeed, in leaving me more sceptical than before. I
had been advised to study Cousin. I studied him in his own works as well as in those of his European and
American echoes. The 'Charles Elwood' of Mr. Brownson, for example, was placed in my hands. I read it
with profound attention. Throughout I found it logical, but the portions which were not merely logical
were unhappily the initial arguments of the disbelieving hero of the book. In his summing up it seemed
evident to me that the reasoner had not even succeeded in convincing himself. His end had plainly
forgotten his beginning, like the government of Trinculo. In short, I was not long in perceiving that if man
is to be intellectually convinced of his own immortality, he will never be so convinced by the mere
abstractions which have been so long the fashion of the moralists of England, of France, and of Germany.
Abstractions may amuse and exercise, but take no hold on the mind. Here upon earth, at least,
philosophy, I am persuaded, will always in vain call upon us to look upon qualities as things. The will may
assent - the soul - the intellect, never.
"I repeat, then, that I only half felt, and never intellectually believed. But latterly there has been a certain
deepening of the feeling, until it has come so nearly to resemble the acquiescence of reason, that I find it
difficult to distinguish between the two. I am enabled, too, plainly to trace this effect to the mesmeric
influence. I cannot better explain my meaning than by the hypothesis that the mesmeric exaltation
enables me to perceive a train of ratiocination which, in my abnormal existence, convinces, but which, in
full accordance with the mesmeric phenomena, does not extend, except through its effect, into my normal
condition. In sleep-waking, the reasoning and its conclusion - the cause and its effect - are present
together. In my natural state, the cause vanishing, the effect only, and perhaps only partially, remains.
"These considerations have led me to think that some good results might ensue from a series of well-
directed questions propounded to me while mesmerized. You have often observed the profound self-
cognizance evinced by the sleep-waker - the extensive knowledge he displays upon all points relating to
the mesmeric condition itself; and from this self-cognizance may be deduced hints for the proper conduct
of a catechism."
I consented of course to make this experiment. A few passes threw Mr. Vankirk into the mesmeric sleep.
His breathing became immediately more easy, and he seemed to suffer no physical uneasiness. The
following conversation then ensued: - V. in the dialogue representing the patient, and P. myself.
P. Are you asleep?
V. Yes.
V. If I were awake I should like to die, but now it is no matter. The mesmeric condition is so near death as
to content me.
V. I am willing to do so, but it requires more effort than I feel able to make. You do not question me
properly.
V. You know that the beginning is GOD. [This was said in a low, fluctuating tone, and with every sign of
the most profound veneration.]
V. While I was awake I knew what you meant by "spirit," but now it seems only a word - such for instance
as truth, beauty - a quality, I mean.
V. There is no immateriality - it is a mere word. That which is not matter, is not at all - unless qualities are
things.
V. [After a long pause, and mutteringly.] I see - but it is a thing difficult to tell. [Another long pause.] He is
not spirit, for he exists. Nor is he matter, as you understand it. But there are gradations of matter of
which man knows nothing; the grosser impelling the finer, the finer pervading the grosser. The
atmosphere, for example, impels the electric principle, while the electric principle permeates the
atmosphere. These gradations of matter increase in rarity or fineness, until we arrive at a matter
unparticled - without particles - indivisible - one and here the law of impulsion and permeation is
modified. The ultimate, or unparticled matter, not only permeates all things but impels all things - and
thus is all things within itself. This matter is God. What men attempt to embody in the word "thought," is
this matter in motion.
P. The metaphysicians maintain that all action is reducible to motion and thinking, and that the latter is
the origin of the former.
V. Yes; and I now see the confusion of idea. Motion is the action of mind - not of thinking. The unparticled
matter, or God, in quiescence, is (as nearly as we can conceive it) what men call mind. And the power of
self-movement (equivalent in effect to human volition) is, in the unparticled matter, the result of its unity
and omniprevalence; how I know not, and now clearly see that I shall never know. But the unparticled
matter, set in motion by a law, or quality, existing within itself, is thinking.
P. Can you give me no more precise idea of what you term the unparticled matter?
V. The matters of which man is cognizant, escape the senses in gradation. We have, for example, a metal,
a piece of wood, a drop of water, the atmosphere, a gas, caloric, electricity, the luminiferous ether. Now
we call all these things matter, and embrace all matter in one general definition; but in spite of this, there
can be no two ideas more essentially distinct than that which we attach to a metal, and that which we
attach to the luminiferous ether. When we reach the latter, we feel an almost irresistible inclination to
class it with spirit, or with nihility. The only consideration which restrains us is our conception of its
atomic constitution; and here, even, we have to seek aid from our notion of an atom, as something
possessing in infinite minuteness, solidity, palpability, weight. Destroy the idea of the atomic constitution
and we should no longer be able to regard the ether as an entity, or at least as matter. For want of a
better word we might term it spirit. Take, now, a step beyond the luminiferous ether - conceive a matter
as much more rare than the ether, as this ether is more rare than the metal, and we arrive at once (in
spite of all the school dogmas) at a unique mass - an unparticled matter. For although we may admit
infinite littleness in the atoms themselves, the infinitude of littleness in the spaces between them is an
absurdity. There will be a point - there will be a degree of rarity, at which, if the atoms are sufficiently
numerous, the interspaces must vanish, and the mass absolutely coalesce. But the consideration of the
atomic constitution being now taken away, the nature of the mass inevitably glides into what we conceive
of spirit. It is clear, however, that it is as fully matter as before. The truth is, it is impossible to conceive
spirit, since it is impossible to imagine what is not. When we flatter ourselves that we have formed its
conception, we have merely deceived our understanding by the consideration of infinitely rarified matter.
P. There seems to me an insurmountable objection to the idea of absolute coalescence; - and that is the
very slight resistance experienced by the heavenly bodies in their revolutions through space - a resistance
now ascertained, it is true, to exist in some degree, but which is, nevertheless, so slight as to have been
quite overlooked by the sagacity even of Newton. We know that the resistance of bodies is, chiefly, in
proportion to their density. Absolute coalescence is absolute density. Where there are no interspaces,
there can be no yielding. An ether, absolutely dense, would put an infinitely more effectual stop to the
progress of a star than would an ether of adamant or of iron.
V. Your objection is answered with an ease which is nearly in the ratio of its apparent unanswerability. - As
regards the progress of the star, it can make no difference whether the star passes through the ether or
the ether through it. There is no astronomical error more unaccountable than that which reconciles the
known retardation of the comets with the idea of their passage through an ether: for, however rare this
ether be supposed, it would put a stop to all sidereal revolution in a very far briefer period than has been
admitted by those astronomers who have endeavored to slur over a point which they found it impossible
to comprehend. The retardation actually experienced is, on the other hand, about that which might be
expected from the friction of the ether in the instantaneous passage through the orb. In the one case, the
retarding force is momentary and complete within itself - in the other it is endlessly accumulative.
P. But in all this - in this identification of mere matter with God - is there nothing of irreverence? [I was
forced to repeat this question before the sleep-waker fully comprehended my meaning.]
V. Can you say why matter should be less reverenced than mind? But you forget that the matter of which I
speak is, in all respects, the very "mind" or "spirit" of the schools, so far as regards its high capacities,
and is, moreover, the "matter" of these schools at the same time. God, with all the powers attributed to
spirit, is but the perfection of matter.
V. In general, this motion is the universal thought of the universal mind. This thought creates. All created
things are but the thoughts of God.
V. Yes. The universal mind is God. For new individualities, matter is necessary.
V. Yes - to avoid confusion. When I say "mind," I mean the unparticled or ultimate matter; by "matter," I
intend all else.
V. Yes; for mind, existing unincorporate, is merely God. To create individual, thinking beings, it was
necessary to incarnate portions of the divine mind. Thus man is individualized. Divested of corporate
investiture, he were God. Now, the particular motion of the incarnated portions of the unparticled matter
is the thought of man; as the motion of the whole is that of God.
P. [Referring to my notes.] You did say that "divested of corporate investiture man were God."
V. And this is true. Man thus divested would be God - would be unindividualized. But he can never be thus
divested - at least never will be - else we must imagine an action of God returning upon itself - a
purposeless and futile action. Man is a creature. Creatures are thoughts of God. It is the nature of
thought to be irrevocable.
P. I do not comprehend. You say that man will never put off the body?
P. Explain.
V. There are two bodies - the rudimental and the complete; corresponding with the two conditions of the
worm and the butterfly. What we call "death," is but the painful metamorphosis. Our present incarnation
is progressive, preparatory, temporary. Our future is perfected, ultimate, immortal. The ultimate life is the
full design.
V. We, certainly - but not the worm. The matter of which our rudimental body is composed, is within the
ken of the organs of that body; or, more distinctly, our rudimental organs are adapted to the matter of
which is formed the rudimental body; but not to that of which the ultimate is composed. The ultimate
body thus escapes our rudimental senses, and we perceive only the shell which falls, in decaying, from
the inner form; not that inner form itself; but this inner form, as well as the shell, is appreciable by those
who have already acquired the ultimate life.
P. You have often said that the mesmeric state very nearly resembles death. How is this?
V. When I say that it resembles death, I mean that it resembles the ultimate life; for when I am entranced
the senses of my rudimental life are in abeyance, and I perceive external things directly, without organs,
through a medium which I shall employ in the ultimate, unorganized life.
P. Unorganized?
V. Yes; organs are contrivances by which the individual is brought into sensible relation with particular
classes and forms of matter, to the exclusion of other classes and forms. The organs of man are adapted to
his rudimental condition, and to that only; his ultimate condition, being unorganized, is of unlimited
comprehension in all points but one - the nature of the volition of God - that is to say, the motion of the
unparticled matter. You will have a distinct idea of the ultimate body by conceiving it to be entire brain.
This it is not; but a conception of this nature will bring you near a comprehension of what it is. A luminous
body imparts vibration to the luminiferous ether. The vibrations generate similar ones within the retina;
these again communicate similar ones to the optic nerve. The nerve conveys similar ones to the brain; the
brain, also, similar ones to the unparticled matter which permeates it. The motion of this latter is thought,
of which perception is the first undulation. This is the mode by which the mind of the rudimental life
communicates with the external world; and this external world is, to the rudimental life, limited, through
the idiosyncrasy of its organs. But in the ultimate, unorganized life, the external world reaches the whole
body, (which is of a substance having affinity to brain, as I have said,) with no other intervention than that
of an infinitely rarer ether than even the luminiferous; and to this ether - in unison with it - the whole
body vibrates, setting in motion the unparticled matter which permeates it. It is to the absence of
idiosyncratic organs, therefore, that we must attribute the nearly unlimited perception of the ultimate
life. To rudimental beings, organs are the cages necessary to confine them until fledged.
P. You speak of rudimental "beings." Are there other rudimental thinking beings than man?
V. The multitudinous conglomeration of rare matter into nebulae, planets, suns, and other bodies which
are neither nebulae, suns, nor planets, is for the sole purpose of supplying pabulum for the idiosyncrasy
of the organs of an infinity of rudimental beings. But for the necessity of the rudimental, prior to the
ultimate life, there would have been no bodies such as these. Each of these is tenanted by a distinct
variety of organic, rudimental, thinking creatures. In all, the organs vary with the features of the place
tenanted. At death, or metamorphosis, these creatures, enjoying the ultimate life - immortality - and
cognizant of all secrets but the one, act all things and pass everywhere by mere volition: - indwelling, not
the stars, which to us seem the sole palpabilities, and for the accommodation of which we blindly deem
space created - but that SPACE itself - that infinity of which the truly substantive vastness swallows up
the star-shadows -- blotting them out as non-entities from the perception of the angels.
P. You say that "but for the necessity of the rudimental life" there would have been no stars. But why this
necessity?
V. In the inorganic life, as well as in the inorganic matter generally, there is nothing to impede the action
of one simple unique law - the Divine Volition. With the view of producing impediment, the organic life
and matter, (complex, substantial, and law-encumbered,) were contrived.
V. The result of law inviolate is perfection - right - negative happiness. The result of law violate is
imperfection, wrong, positive pain. Through the impediments afforded by the number, complexity, and
substantiality of the laws of organic life and matter, the violation of law is rendered, to a certain extent,
practicable. Thus pain, which in the inorganic life is impossible, is possible in the organic.
V. All things are either good or bad by comparison. A sufficient analysis will show that pleasure, in all
cases, is but the contrast of pain. Positive pleasure is a mere idea. To be happy at any one point we must
have suffered at the same. Never to suffer would have been never to have been blessed. But it has been
shown that, in the inorganic life, pain cannot be thus the necessity for the organic. The pain of the
primitive life of Earth, is the sole basis of the bliss of the ultimate life in Heaven.
P. Still, there is one of your expressions which I find it impossible to comprehend - "the truly substantive
vastness of infinity."
V. This, probably, is because you have no sufficiently generic conception of the term "substance" itself. We
must not regard it as a quality, but as a sentiment: - it is the perception, in thinking beings, of the
adaptation of matter to their organization. There are many things on the Earth, which would be nihility to
the inhabitants of Venus - many things visible and tangible in Venus, which we could not be brought to
appreciate as existing at all. But to the inorganic beings - to the angels - the whole of the unparticled
matter is substance - that is to say, the whole of what we term "space" is to them the truest substantiality;
- the stars, meantime, through what we consider their materiality, escaping the angelic sense, just in
proportion as the unparticled matter, through what we consider its immateriality, eludes the organic.
As the sleep-waker pronounced these latter words, in a feeble tone, I observed on his countenance a
singular expression, which somewhat alarmed me, and induced me to awake him at once. No sooner had I
done this, than, with a bright smile irradiating all his features, he fell back upon his pillow and expired. I
noticed that in less than a minute afterward his corpse had all the stern rigidity of stone. His brow was of
the coldness of ice. Thus, ordinarily, should it have appeared, only after long pressure from Azrael's hand.
Had the sleep-waker, indeed, during the latter portion of his discourse, been addressing me from out the
region of the shadows?
METZENGERSTEIN
HORROR and fatality have been stalking abroad in all ages. Why then give a date to this story I have to
tell? Let it suffice to say, that at the period of which I speak, there existed, in the interior of Hungary, a
settled although hidden belief in the doctrines of the Metempsychosis. Of the doctrines themselves - that
is, of their falsity, or of their probability - I say nothing. I assert, however, that much of our incredulity - as
La Bruyere says of all our unhappiness - "vient de ne pouvoir être seuls."
But there are some points in the Hungarian superstition which were fast verging to absurdity. They - the
Hungarians - differed very essentially from their Eastern authorities. For example, "The soul," said the
former - I give the words of an acute and intelligent Parisian - "ne demeure qu'un seul fois dans un corps
sensible: au reste - un cheval, un chien, un homme meme, n'est que la ressemblance peu tangible de ces
animaux."
The families of Berlifitzing and Metzengerstein had been at variance for centuries. Never before were two
houses so illustrious, mutually embittered by hostility so deadly. The origin of this enmity seems to be
found in the words of an ancient prophecy - "A lofty name shall have a fearful fall when, as the rider over
his horse, the mortality of Metzengerstein shall triumph over the immortality of Berlifitzing."
To be sure the words themselves had little or no meaning. But more trivial causes have given rise - and
that no long while ago - to consequences equally eventful. Besides, the estates, which were contiguous,
had long exercised a rival influence in the affairs of a busy government. Moreover, near neighbors are
seldom friends; and the inhabitants of the Castle Berlifitzing might look, from their lofty buttresses, into
the very windows of the palace Metzengerstein. Least of all had the more than feudal magnificence, thus
discovered, a tendency to allay the irritable feelings of the less ancient and less wealthy Berlifitzings.
What wonder then, that the words, however silly, of that prediction, should have succeeded in setting and
keeping at variance two families already predisposed to quarrel by every instigation of hereditary
jealousy? The prophecy seemed to imply - if it implied anything - a final triumph on the part of the already
more powerful house; and was of course remembered with the more bitter animosity by the weaker and
less influential.
Wilhelm, Count Berlifitzing, although loftily descended, was, at the epoch of this narrative, an infirm and
doting old man, remarkable for nothing but an inordinate and inveterate personal antipathy to the family
of his rival, and so passionate a love of horses, and of hunting, that neither bodily infirmity, great age, nor
mental incapacity, prevented his daily participation in the dangers of the chase.
Frederick, Baron Metzengerstein, was, on the other hand, not yet of age. His father, the Minister G--, died
young. His mother, the Lady Mary, followed him quickly after. Frederick was, at that time, in his fifteenth
year. In a city, fifteen years are no long period - a child may be still a child in his third lustrum: but in a
wilderness - in so magnificent a wilderness as that old principality, fifteen years have a far deeper
meaning.
From some peculiar circumstances attending the administration of his father, the young Baron, at the
decease of the former, entered immediately upon his vast possessions. Such estates were seldom held
before by a nobleman of Hungary. His castles were without number. The chief in point of splendor and
extent was the "Chateau Metzengerstein." The boundary line of his dominions was never clearly defined;
but his principal park embraced a circuit of fifty miles.
Upon the succession of a proprietor so young, with a character so well known, to a fortune so
unparalleled, little speculation was afloat in regard to his probable course of conduct. And, indeed, for the
space of three days, the behavior of the heir out-heroded Herod, and fairly surpassed the expectations of
his most enthusiastic admirers. Shameful debaucheries - flagrant treacheries - unheard-of atrocities -
gave his trembling vassals quickly to understand that no servile submission on their part - no punctilios of
conscience on his own - were thenceforward to prove any security against the remorseless fangs of a
petty Caligula. On the night of the fourth day, the stables of the castle Berlifitzing were discovered to be
on fire; and the unanimous opinion of the neighborhood added the crime of the incendiary to the already
hideous list of the Baron's misdemeanors and enormities.
But during the tumult occasioned by this occurrence, the young nobleman himself sat apparently buried
in meditation, in a vast and desolate upper apartment of the family palace of Metzengerstein. The rich
although faded tapestry hangings which swung gloomily upon the walls, represented the shadowy and
majestic forms of a thousand illustrious ancestors. Here, rich-ermined priests, and pontifical dignitaries,
familiarly seated with the autocrat and the sovereign, put a veto on the wishes of a temporal king, or
restrained with the fiat of papal supremacy the rebellious sceptre of the Arch-enemy. There, the dark, tall
statures of the Princes Metzengerstein - their muscular war-coursers plunging over the carcasses of
fallen foes - startled the steadiest nerves with their vigorous expression; and here, again, the voluptuous
and swan-like figures of the dames of days gone by, floated away in the mazes of an unreal dance to the
strains of imaginary melody.
But as the Baron listened, or affected to listen, to the gradually increasing uproar in the stables of
Berlifitzing - or perhaps pondered upon some more novel, some more decided act of audacity - his eyes
became unwittingly rivetted to the figure of an enormous, and unnaturally colored horse, represented in
the tapestry as belonging to a Saracen ancestor of the family of his rival. The horse itself, in the
foreground of the design, stood motionless and statue-like - while farther back, its discomfited rider
perished by the dagger of a Metzengerstein.
On Frederick's lip arose a fiendish expression, as he became aware of the direction which his glance had,
without his consciousness, assumed. Yet he did not remove it. On the contrary, he could by no means
account for the overwhelming anxiety which appeared falling like a pall upon his senses. It was with
difficulty that he reconciled his dreamy and incoherent feelings with the certainty of being awake. The
longer he gazed the more absorbing became the spell - the more impossible did it appear that he could
ever withdraw his glance from the fascination of that tapestry. But the tumult without becoming suddenly
more violent, with a compulsory exertion he diverted his attention to the glare of ruddy light thrown full
by the flaming stables upon the windows of the apartment.
The action, however, was but momentary, his gaze returned mechanically to the wall. To his extreme
horror and astonishment, the head of the gigantic steed had, in the meantime, altered its position. The
neck of the animal, before arched, as if in compassion, over the prostrate body of its lord, was now
extended, at full length, in the direction of the Baron. The eyes, before invisible, now wore an energetic
and human expression, while they gleamed with a fiery and unusual red; and the distended lips of the
apparently enraged horse left in full view his gigantic and disgusting teeth.
Stupified with terror, the young nobleman tottered to the door. As he threw it open, a flash of red light,
streaming far into the chamber, flung his shadow with a clear outline against the quivering tapestry, and
he shuddered to perceive that shadow - as he staggered awhile upon the threshold - assuming the exact
position, and precisely filling up the contour, of the relentless and triumphant murderer of the Saracen
Berlifitzing.
To lighten the depression of his spirits, the Baron hurried into the open air. At the principal gate of the
palace he encountered three equerries. With much difficulty, and at the imminent peril of their lives, they
were restraining the convulsive plunges of a gigantic and fiery-colored horse.
"Whose horse? Where did you get him?" demanded the youth, in a querulous and husky tone of voice, as
he became instantly aware that the mysterious steed in the tapestried chamber was the very counterpart
of the furious animal before his eyes.
"He is your own property, sire," replied one of the equerries, "at least he is claimed by no other owner. We
caught him flying, all smoking and foaming with rage, from the burning stables of the Castle Berlifitzing.
Supposing him to have belonged to the old Count's stud of foreign horses, we led him back as an estray.
But the grooms there disclaim any title to the creature; which is strange, since he bears evident marks of
having made a narrow escape from the flames.
"The letters W. V. B. are also branded very distinctly on his forehead," interrupted a second equerry, "I
supposed them, of course, to be the initials of Wilhelm Von Berlifitzing - but all at the castle are positive in
denying any knowledge of the horse."
"Extremely singular!" said the young Baron, with a musing air, and apparently unconscious of the
meaning of his words. "He is, as you say, a remarkable horse - a prodigious horse! although, as you very
justly observe, of a suspicious and untractable character, let him be mine, however," he added, after a
pause, "perhaps a rider like Frederick of Metzengerstein, may tame even the devil from the stables of
Berlifitzing."
"You are mistaken, my lord; the horse, as I think we mentioned, is not from the stables of the Count. If
such had been the case, we know our duty better than to bring him into the presence of a noble of your
family."
"True!" observed the Baron, dryly, and at that instant a page of the bedchamber came from the palace
with a heightened color, and a precipitate step. He whispered into his master's ear an account of the
sudden disappearance of a small portion of the tapestry, in an apartment which he designated; entering,
at the same time, into particulars of a minute and circumstantial character; but from the low tone of voice
in which these latter were communicated, nothing escaped to gratify the excited curiosity of the
equerries.
The young Frederick, during the conference, seemed agitated by a variety of emotions. He soon, however,
recovered his composure, and an expression of determined malignancy settled upon his countenance, as
he gave peremptory orders that a certain chamber should be immediately locked up, and the key placed
in his own possession.
"Have you heard of the unhappy death of the old hunter Berlifitzing?" said one of his vassals to the Baron,
as, after the departure of the page, the huge steed which that nobleman had adopted as his own, plunged
and curvetted, with redoubled fury, down the long avenue which extended from the chateau to the stables
of Metzengerstein.
"No!" said the Baron, turning abruptly toward the speaker, "dead! say you?"
"It is indeed true, my lord; and, to a noble of your name, will be, I imagine, no unwelcome intelligence."
A rapid smile shot over the countenance of the listener. "How died he?"
"In his rash exertions to rescue a favorite portion of his hunting stud, he has himself perished miserably
in the flames."
"I-n-d-e-e-d-!" ejaculated the Baron, as if slowly and deliberately impressed with the truth of some exciting
idea.
"Shocking!" said the youth, calmly, and turned quietly into the chateau.
From this date a marked alteration took place in the outward demeanor of the dissolute young Baron
Frederick Von Metzengerstein. Indeed, his behavior disappointed every expectation, and proved little in
accordance with the views of many a manoeuvering mamma; while his habits and manner, still less than
formerly, offered any thing congenial with those of the neighboring aristocracy. He was never to be seen
beyond the limits of his own domain, and, in this wide and social world, was utterly companionless -
unless, indeed, that unnatural, impetuous, and fiery-colored horse, which he henceforward continually
bestrode, had any mysterious right to the title of his friend.
Numerous invitations on the part of the neighborhood for a long time, however, periodically came in. "Will
the Baron honor our festivals with his presence?" "Will the Baron join us in a hunting of the boar?" -
"Metzengerstein does not hunt;" "Metzengerstein will not attend," were the haughty and laconic answers.
These repeated insults were not to be endured by an imperious nobility. Such invitations became less
cordial - less frequent - in time they ceased altogether. The widow of the unfortunate Count Berlifitzing
was even heard to express a hope "that the Baron might be at home when he did not wish to be at home,
since he disdained the company of his equals; and ride when he did not wish to ride, since he preferred
the society of a horse." This to be sure was a very silly explosion of hereditary pique; and merely proved
how singularly unmeaning our sayings are apt to become, when we desire to be unusually energetic.
The charitable, nevertheless, attributed the alteration in the conduct of the young nobleman to the
natural sorrow of a son for the untimely loss of his parents - forgetting, however, his atrocious and
reckless behavior during the short period immediately succeeding that bereavement. Some there were,
indeed, who suggested a too haughty idea of self-consequence and dignity. Others again (among them
may be mentioned the family physician) did not hesitate in speaking of morbid melancholy, and hereditary
ill-health; while dark hints, of a more equivocal nature, were current among the multitude.
Indeed, the Baron's perverse attachment to his lately-acquired charger - an attachment which seemed to
attain new strength from every fresh example of the animal's ferocious and demon-like propensities - at
length became, in the eyes of all reasonable men, a hideous and unnatural fervor. In the glare of noon - at
the dead hour of night - in sickness or in health - in calm or in tempest - the young Metzengerstein
seemed rivetted to the saddle of that colossal horse, whose intractable audacities so well accorded with
his own spirit.
There were circumstances, moreover, which coupled with late events, gave an unearthly and portentous
character to the mania of the rider, and to the capabilities of the steed. The space passed over in a single
leap had been accurately measured, and was found to exceed, by an astounding difference, the wildest
expectations of the most imaginative. The Baron, besides, had no particular name for the animal,
although all the rest in his collection were distinguished by characteristic appellations. His stable, too,
was appointed at a distance from the rest; and with regard to grooming and other necessary offices, none
but the owner in person had ventured to officiate, or even to enter the enclosure of that particular stall. It
was also to be observed, that although the three grooms, who had caught the steed as he fled from the
conflagration at Berlifitzing, had succeeded in arresting his course, by means of a chain-bridle and noose
- yet no one of the three could with any certainty affirm that he had, during that dangerous struggle, or at
any period thereafter, actually placed his hand upon the body of the beast. Instances of peculiar
intelligence in the demeanor of a noble and high-spirited horse are not to be supposed capable of exciting
unreasonable attention - especially among men who, daily trained to the labors of the chase, might
appear well acquainted with the sagacity of a horse - but there were certain circumstances which
intruded themselves per force upon the most skeptical and phlegmatic; and it is said there were times
when the animal caused the gaping crowd who stood around to recoil in horror from the deep and
impressive meaning of his terrible stamp - times when the young Metzengerstein turned pale and shrunk
away from the rapid and searching expression of his earnest and human-looking eye.
Among all the retinue of the Baron, however, none were found to doubt the ardor of that extraordinary
affection which existed on the part of the young nobleman for the fiery qualities of his horse; at least,
none but an insignificant and misshapen little page, whose deformities were in everybody's way, and
whose opinions were of the least possible importance. He - if his ideas are worth mentioning at all - had
the effrontery to assert that his master never vaulted into the saddle without an unaccountable and
almost imperceptible shudder, and that, upon his return from every long-continued and habitual ride, an
expression of triumphant malignity distorted every muscle in his countenance.
One tempestuous night, Metzengerstein, awaking from a heavy slumber, descended like a maniac from
his chamber, and, mounting in hot haste, bounded away into the mazes of the forest. An occurrence so
common attracted no particular attention, but his return was looked for with intense anxiety on the part
of his domestics, when, after some hours' absence, the stupendous and magnificent battlements of the
Chateau Metzengerstein, were discovered crackling and rocking to their very foundation, under the
influence of a dense and livid mass of ungovernable fire.
As the flames, when first seen, had already made so terrible a progress that all efforts to save any portion
of the building were evidently futile, the astonished neighborhood stood idly around in silent and pathetic
wonder. But a new and fearful object soon rivetted the attention of the multitude, and proved how much
more intense is the excitement wrought in the feelings of a crowd by the contemplation of human agony,
than that brought about by the most appalling spectacles of inanimate matter.
Up the long avenue of aged oaks which led from the forest to the main entrance of the Chateau
Metzengerstein, a steed, bearing an unbonneted and disordered rider, was seen leaping with an
impetuosity which outstripped the very Demon of the Tempest.
The career of the horseman was indisputably, on his own part, uncontrollable. The agony of his
countenance, the convulsive struggle of his frame, gave evidence of superhuman exertion: but no sound,
save a solitary shriek, escaped from his lacerated lips, which were bitten through and through in the
intensity of terror. One instant, and the clattering of hoofs resounded sharply and shrilly above the
roaring of the flames and the shrieking of the winds - another, and, clearing at a single plunge the gate-
way and the moat, the steed bounded far up the tottering staircases of the palace, and, with its rider,
disappeared amid the whirlwind of chaotic fire.
The fury of the tempest immediately died away, and a dead calm sullenly succeeded. A white flame still
enveloped the building like a shroud, and, streaming far away into the quiet atmosphere, shot forth a
glare of preternatural light; while a cloud of smoke settled heavily over the battlements in the distinct
colossal figure of - a horse.
MORELLA
WITH a feeling of deep yet most singular affection I regarded my friend Morella. Thrown by accident into
her society many years ago, my soul from our first meeting, burned with fires it had never before known;
but the fires were not of Eros, and bitter and tormenting to my spirit was the gradual conviction that I
could in no manner define their unusual meaning or regulate their vague intensity. Yet we met; and fate
bound us together at the altar, and I never spoke of passion nor thought of love. She, however, shunned
society, and, attaching herself to me alone rendered me happy. It is a happiness to wonder; it is a
happiness to dream.
Morella's erudition was profound. As I hope to live, her talents were of no common order -- her powers of
mind were gigantic. I felt this, and, in many matters, became her pupil. I soon, however, found that,
perhaps on account of her Presburg education, she placed before me a number of those mystical writings
which are usually considered the mere dross of the early German literature. These, for what reason I
could not imagine, were her favourite and constant study -- and that in process of time they became my
own, should be attributed to the simple but effectual influence of habit and example.
In all this, if I err not, my reason had little to do. My convictions, or I forget myself, were in no manner
acted upon by the ideal, nor was any tincture of the mysticism which I read to be discovered, unless I am
greatly mistaken, either in my deeds or in my thoughts. Persuaded of this, I abandoned myself implicitly
to the guidance of my wife, and entered with an unflinching heart into the intricacies of her studies. And
then -- then, when poring over forbidden pages, I felt a forbidden spirit enkindling within me -- would
Morella place her cold hand upon my own, and rake up from the ashes of a dead philosophy some low,
singular words, whose strange meaning burned themselves in upon my memory. And then, hour after
hour, would I linger by her side, and dwell upon the music of her voice, until at length its melody was
tainted with terror, and there fell a shadow upon my soul, and I grew pale, and shuddered inwardly at
those too unearthly tones. And thus, joy suddenly faded into horror, and the most beautiful became the
most hideous, as Hinnon became Ge-Henna.
It is unnecessary to state the exact character of those disquisitions which, growing out of the volumes I
have mentioned, formed, for so long a time, almost the sole conversation of Morella and myself. By the
learned in what might be termed theological morality they will be readily conceived, and by the unlearned
they would, at all events, be little understood. The wild Pantheism of Fichte; the modified Paliggenedia of
the Pythagoreans; and, above all, the doctrines of Identity as urged by Schelling, were generally the
points of discussion presenting the most of beauty to the imaginative Morella. That identity which is
termed personal, Mr. Locke, I think, truly defines to consist in the saneness of rational being. And since
by person we understand an intelligent essence having reason, and since there is a consciousness which
always accompanies thinking, it is this which makes us all to be that which we call ourselves, thereby
distinguishing us from other beings that think, and giving us our personal identity. But the principium
indivduationis, the notion of that identity which at death is or is not lost for ever, was to me, at all times, a
consideration of intense interest; not more from the perplexing and exciting nature of its consequences,
than from the marked and agitated manner in which Morella mentioned them.
But, indeed, the time had now arrived when the mystery of my wife's manner oppressed me as a spell. I
could no longer bear the touch of her wan fingers, nor the low tone of her musical language, nor the
lustre of her melancholy eyes. And she knew all this, but did not upbraid; she seemed conscious of my
weakness or my folly, and, smiling, called it fate. She seemed also conscious of a cause, to me unknown,
for the gradual alienation of my regard; but she gave me no hint or token of its nature. Yet was she
woman, and pined away daily. In time the crimson spot settled steadily upon the cheek, and the blue veins
upon the pale forehead became prominent; and one instant my nature melted into pity, but in, next I met
the glance of her meaning eyes, and then my soul sickened and became giddy with the giddiness of one
who gazes downward into some dreary and unfathomable abyss.
Shall I then say that I longed with an earnest and consuming desire for the moment of Morella's decease?
I did; but the fragile spirit clung to its tenement of clay for many days, for many weeks and irksome
months, until my tortured nerves obtained the mastery over my mind, and I grew furious through delay,
and, with the heart of a fiend, cursed the days and the hours and the bitter moments, which seemed to
lengthen and lengthen as her gentle life declined, like shadows in the dying of the day.
But one autumnal evening, when the winds lay still in heaven, Morella called me to her bedside. There
was a dim mist over all the earth, and a warm glow upon the waters, and amid the rich October leaves of
the forest, a rainbow from the firmament had surely fallen.
"It is a day of days," she said, as I approached; "a day of all days either to live or die. It is a fair day for the
sons of earth and life -- ah, more fair for the daughters of heaven and death!"
I kissed her forehead, and she continued:
"Morella!"
"The days have never been when thou couldst love me -- but her whom in life thou didst abhor, in death
thou shalt adore."
"Morella!"
"I repeat I am dying. But within me is a pledge of that affection -- ah, how little! -- which thou didst feel
for me, Morella. And when my spirit departs shall the child live -- thy child and mine, Morella's. But thy
days shall be days of sorrow -- that sorrow which is the most lasting of impressions, as the cypress is the
most enduring of trees. For the hours of thy happiness are over and joy is not gathered twice in a life, as
the roses of Paestum twice in a year. Thou shalt no longer, then, play the Teian with time, but, being
ignorant of the myrtle and the vine, thou shalt bear about with thee thy shroud on the earth, as do the
Moslemin at Mecca."
"Morella!" I cried, "Morella! how knowest thou this?" but she turned away her face upon the pillow and a
slight tremor coming over her limbs, she thus died, and I heard her voice no more.
Yet, as she had foretold, her child, to which in dying she had given birth, which breathed not until the
mother breathed no more, her child, a daughter, lived. And she grew strangely in stature and intellect,
and was the perfect resemblance of her who had departed, and I loved her with a love more fervent than I
had believed it possible to feel for any denizen of earth.
But, ere long the heaven of this pure affection became darkened, and gloom, and horror, and grief swept
over it in clouds. I said the child grew strangely in stature and intelligence. Strange, indeed, was her
rapid increase in bodily size, but terrible, oh! terrible were the tumultuous thoughts which crowded upon
me while watching the development of her mental being. Could it be otherwise, when I daily discovered in
the conceptions of the child the adult powers and faculties of the woman? when the lessons of experience
fell from the lips of infancy? and when the wisdom or the passions of maturity I found hourly gleaming
from its full and speculative eye? When, I say, all this beeame evident to my appalled senses, when I could
no longer hide it from my soul, nor throw it off from those perceptions which trembled to receive it, is it
to be wondered at that suspicions, of a nature fearful and exciting, crept in upon my spirit, or that my
thoughts fell back aghast upon the wild tales and thrilling theories of the entombed Morella? I snatched
from the scrutiny of the world a being whom destiny compelled me to adore, and in the rigorous seclusion
of my home, watched with an agonizing anxiety over all which concerned the beloved.
And as years rolled away, and I gazed day after day upon her holy, and mild, and eloquent face, and
poured over her maturing form, day after day did I discover new points of resemblance in the child to her
mother, the melancholy and the dead. And hourly grew darker these shadows of similitude, and more full,
and more definite, and more perplexing, and more hideously terrible in their aspect. For that her smile
was like her mother's I could bear; but then I shuddered at its too perfect identity, that her eyes were like
Morella's I could endure; but then they, too, often looked down into the depths of my soul with Morella's
own intense and bewildering meaning. And in the contour of the high forehead, and in the ringlets of the
silken hair, and in the wan fingers which buried themselves therein, and in the sad musical tones of her
speech, and above all -- oh, above all, in the phrases and expressions of the dead on the lips of the loved
and the living, I found food for consuming thought and horror, for a worm that would not die.
Thus passed away two lustra of her life, and as yet my daughter remained nameless upon the earth. "My
child," and "my love," were the designations usually prompted by a father's affection, and the rigid
seclusion of her days precluded all other intercourse. Morella's name died with her at her death. Of the
mother I had never spoken to the daughter, it was impossible to speak. Indeed, during the brief period of
her existence, the latter had received no impressions from the outward world, save such as might have
been afforded by the narrow limits of her privacy. But at length the ceremony of baptism presented to my
mind, in its unnerved and agitated condition, a present deliverance from the terrors of my destiny. And at
the baptismal font I hesitated for a name. And many titles of the wise and beautiful, of old and modern
times, of my own and foreign lands, came thronging to my lips, with many, many fair titles of the gentle,
and the happy, and the good. What prompted me then to disturb the memory of the buried dead? What
demon urged me to breathe that sound, which in its very recollection was wont to make ebb the purple
blood in torrents from the temples to the heart? What fiend spoke from the recesses of my soul, when
amid those dim aisles, and in the silence of the night, I whispered within the ears of the holy man the
syllables -- Morella? What more than fiend convulsed the features of my child, and overspread them with
hues of death, as starting at that scarcely audible sound, she turned her glassy eyes from the earth to
heaven, and falling prostrate on the black slabs of our ancestral vault, responded -- "I am here!"
Distinct, coldly, calmly distinct, fell those few simple sounds within my ear, and thence like molten lead
rolled hissingly into my brain. Years -- years may pass away, but the memory of that epoch never. Nor was
I indeed ignorant of the flowers and the vine -- but the hemlock and the cypress overshadowed me night
and day. And I kept no reckoning of time or place, and the stars of my fate faded from heaven, and
therefore the earth grew dark, and its figures passed by me like flitting shadows, and among them all I
beheld only -- Morella. The winds of the firmament breathed but one sound within my ears, and the
ripples upon the sea murmured evermore -- Morella. But she died; and with my own hands I bore her to
the tomb; and I laughed with a long and bitter laugh as I found no traces of the first in the channel where
I laid the second. -- Morella.
MS. FOUND IN A BOTTLE
Quinault -- Atys.
OF my country and of my family I have little to say. Ill usage and length of years have driven me from the
one, and estranged me from the other. Hereditary wealth afforded me an education of no common order,
and a contemplative turn of mind enabled me to methodize the stores which early study very diligently
garnered up. -- Beyond all things, the study of the German moralists gave me great delight; not from any
ill-advised admiration of their eloquent madness, but from the ease with which my habits of rigid thought
enabled me to detect their falsities. I have often been reproached with the aridity of my genius; a
deficiency of imagination has been imputed to me as a crime; and the Pyrrhonism of my opinions has at
all times rendered me notorious. Indeed, a strong relish for physical philosophy has, I fear, tinctured my
mind with a very common error of this age -- I mean the habit of referring occurrences, even the least
susceptible of such reference, to the principles of that science. Upon the whole, no person could be less
liable than myself to be led away from the severe precincts of truth by the ignes fatui of superstition. I
have thought proper to premise thus much, lest the incredible tale I have to tell should be considered
rather the raving of a crudeimagination, than the positive experience of a mind to which the reveries of
fancy have been a dead letter and a nullity.
After many years spent in foreign travel, I sailed in the year 18 -- , from the port of Batavia, in the rich
and populous island of Java, on a voyage to the Archipelago of the Sunda islands. I went as passenger --
having no other inducement than a kind of nervous restlessness which haunted me as a fiend.
Our vessel was a beautiful ship of about four hundred tons, copper-fastened, and built at Bombay of
Malabar teak. She was freighted with cotton-wool and oil, from the Lachadive islands. We had also on
board coir, jaggeree, ghee, cocoa-nuts, and a few cases of opium. The stowage was clumsily done, and the
vessel consequently crank.
We got under way with a mere breath of wind, and for many days stood along the eastern coast of Java,
without any other incident to beguile the monotony of our course than the occasional meeting with some
of the small grabs of the Archipelago to which we were bound.
One evening, leaning over the taffrail, I observed a very singular, isolated cloud, to the N.W. It was
remarkable, as well for its color, as from its being the first we had seen since our departure from Batavia.
I watched it attentively until sunset, when it spread all at once to the eastward and westward, girting in
the horizon with a narrow strip of vapor, and looking like a long line of low beach. My notice was soon
afterwards attracted by the dusky-red appearance of the moon, and the peculiar character of the sea. The
latter was undergoing a rapid change, and the water seemed more than usually transparent. Although I
could distinctly see the bottom, yet, heaving the lead, I found the ship in fifteen fathoms. The air now
became intolerably hot, and was loaded with spiral exhalations similar to those arising from heat iron. As
night came on, every breath of wind died away, an more entire calm it is impossible to conceive. The
flame of a candle burned upon the poop without the least perceptible motion, and a long hair, held
between the finger and thumb, hung without the possibility of detecting a vibration. However, as the
captain said he could perceive no indication of danger, and as we were drifting in bodily to shore, he
ordered the sails to be furled, and the anchor let go. No watch was set, and the crew, consisting
principally of Malays, stretched themselves deliberately upon deck. I went below -- not without a full
presentiment of evil. Indeed, every appearance warranted me in apprehending a Simoom. I told the
captain my fears; but he paid no attention to what I said, and left me without deigning to give a reply. My
uneasiness, however, prevented me from sleeping, and about midnight I went upon deck. -- As I placed my
foot upon the upper step of the companion-ladder, I was startled by a loud, humming noise, like that
occasioned by the rapid revolution of a mill-wheel, and before I could ascertain its meaning, I found the
ship quivering to its centre. In the next instant, a wilderness of foam hurled us upon our beam-ends, and,
rushing over us fore and aft, swept the entire decks from stem to stern.
The extreme fury of the blast proved, in a great measure, the salvation of the ship. Although completely
water-logged, yet, as her masts had gone by the board, she rose, after a minute, heavily from the sea,
and, staggering awhile beneath the immense pressure of the tempest, finally righted.
By what miracle I escaped destruction, it is impossible to say. Stunned by the shock of the water, I found
myself, upon recovery, jammed in between the stern-post and rudder. With great difficulty I gained my
feet, and looking dizzily around, was, at first, struck with the idea of our being among breakers; so
terrific, beyond the wildest imagination, was the whirlpool of mountainous and foaming ocean within
which we were engulfed. After a while, I heard the voice of an old Swede, who had shipped with us at the
moment of our leaving port. I hallooed to him with all my strength, and presently he came reeling aft. We
soon discovered that we were the sole survivors of the accident. All on deck, with the exception of
ourselves, had been swept overboard; -- the captain and mates must have perished as they slept, for the
cabins were deluged with water. Without assistance, we could expect to do little for the security of the
ship, and our exertions were at first paralyzed by the momentary expectation of going down. Our cable
had, of course, parted like pack-thread, at the first breath of the hurricane, or we should have been
instantaneously overwhelmed. We scudded with frightful velocity before the sea, and the water made
clear breaches over us. The frame-work of our stern was shattered excessively, and, in almost every
respect, we had received considerable injury; but to our extreme Joy we found the pumps unchoked, and
that we had made no great shifting of our ballast. The main fury of the blast had already blown over, and
we apprehended little danger from the violence of the wind; but we looked forward to its total cessation
with dismay; well believing, that, in our shattered condition, we should inevitably perish in the
tremendous swell which would ensue. But this very just apprehension seemed by no means likely to be
soon verified. For five entire days and nights -- during which our only subsistence was a small quantity of
jaggeree, procured with great difficulty from the forecastle -- the hulk flew at a rate defying computation,
before rapidly succeeding flaws of wind, which, without equalling the first violence of the Simoom, were
still more terrific than any tempest I had before encountered. Our course for the first four days was, with
trifling variations, S.E. and by S.; and we must have run down the coast of New Holland. -- On the fifth
day the cold became extreme, although the wind had hauled round a point more to the northward. -- The
sun arose with a sickly yellow lustre, and clambered a very few degrees above the horizon -- emitting no
decisive light. -- There were no clouds apparent, yet the wind was upon the increase, and blew with a
fitful and unsteady fury. About noon, as nearly as we could guess, our attention was again arrested by the
appearance of the sun. It gave out no light, properly so called, but a dull and sullen glow without
reflection, as if all its rays were polarized. Just before sinking within the turgid sea, its central fires
suddenly went out, as if hurriedly extinguished by some unaccountable power. It was a dim, sliver-like
rim, alone, as it rushed down the unfathomable ocean.
We waited in vain for the arrival of the sixth day -- that day to me has not arrived -- to the Swede, never
did arrive. Thenceforward we were enshrouded in patchy darkness, so that we could not have seen an
object at twenty paces from the ship. Eternal night continued to envelop us, all unrelieved by the
phosphoric sea-brilliancy to which we had been accustomed in the tropics. We observed too, that,
although the tempest continued to rage with unabated violence, there was no longer to be discovered the
usual appearance of surf, or foam, which had hitherto attended us. All around were horror, and thick
gloom, and a black sweltering desert of ebony. -- Superstitious terror crept by degrees into the spirit of
the old Swede, and my own soul was wrapped up in silent wonder. We neglected all care of the ship, as
worse than useless, and securing ourselves, as well as possible, to the stump of the mizen-mast, looked
out bitterly into the world of ocean. We had no means of calculating time, nor could we form any guess of
our situation. We were, however, well aware of having made farther to the southward than any previous
navigators, and felt great amazement at not meeting with the usual impediments of ice. In the meantime
every moment threatened to be our last -- every mountainous billow hurried to overwhelm us. The swell
surpassed anything I had imagined possible, and that we were not instantly buried is a miracle. My
companion spoke of the lightness of our cargo, and reminded me of the excellent qualities of our ship; but
I could not help feeling the utter hopelessness of hope itself, and prepared myself gloomily for that death
which I thought nothing could defer beyond an hour, as, with every knot of way the ship made, the
swelling of the black stupendous seas became more dismally appalling. At times we gasped for breath at
an elevation beyond the albatross -- at times became dizzy with the velocity of our descent into some
watery hell, where the air grew stagnant, and no sound disturbed the slumbers of the kraken.
We were at the bottom of one of these abysses, when a quick scream from my companion broke fearfully
upon the night. "See! see!" cried he, shrieking in my ears, "Almighty God! see! see!" As he spoke, I
became aware of a dull, sullen glare of red light which streamed down the sides of the vast chasm where
we lay, and threw a fitful brilliancy upon our deck. Casting my eyes upwards, I beheld a spectacle which
froze the current of my blood. At a terrific height directly above us, and upon the very verge of the
precipitous descent, hovered a gigantic ship of, perhaps, four thousand tons. Although upreared upon the
summit of a wave more than a hundred times her own altitude, her apparent size exceeded that of any
ship of the line or East Indiaman in existence. Her huge hull was of a deep dingy black, unrelieved by any
of the customary carvings of a ship. A single row of brass cannon protruded from her open ports, and
dashed from their polished surfaces the fires of innumerablebattle-lanterns, which swung to and fro
about her rigging. But what mainly inspired us with horror and astonishment, was that she bore up under
a press of sail in the very teeth of that supernatural sea, and of that ungovernable hurricane. When we
first discovered her, her bows were alone to be seen, as she rose slowly from the dim and horrible gulf
beyond her. For a moment of intense terror she paused upon the giddy pinnacle, as if in contemplation of
her own sublimity, then trembled and tottered, and -- came down.
At this instant, I know not what sudden self-possession came over my spirit. Staggering as far aft as I
could, I awaited fearlessly the ruin that was to overwhelm. Our own vessel was at length ceasing from her
struggles, and sinking with her head to the sea. The shock of the descending mass struck her,
consequently, in that portion of her frame which was already under water, and the inevitable result was to
hurl me, with irresistible violence, upon the rigging of the stranger.
As I fell, the ship hove in stays, and went about; and to the confusion ensuing I attributed my escape from
the notice of the crew. With little difficulty I made my way unperceived to the main hatchway, which was
partially open, and soon found an opportunity of secreting myself in the hold. Why I did so I can hardly
tell. An indefinite sense of awe, which at first sight of the navigators of the ship had taken hold of my
mind, was perhaps the principle of my concealment. I was unwilling to trust myself with a race of people
who had offered, to the cursory glance I had taken, so many points of vague novelty, doubt, and
apprehension. I therefore thought proper to contrive a hiding-place in the hold. This I did by removing a
small portion of the shifting-boards, in such a manner as to afford me a convenient retreat between the
huge timbers of the ship.
I had scarcely completed my work, when a footstep in the hold forced me to make use of it. A man passed
by my place of concealment with a feeble and unsteady gait. I could not see his face, but had an
opportunity of observing his general appearance. There was about it an evidence of great age and
infirmity. His knees tottered beneath a load of years, and his entire frame quivered under the burthen. He
muttered to himself, in a low broken tone, some words of a language which I could not understand, and
groped in a corner among a pile of singular-looking instruments, and decayed charts of navigation. His
manner was a wild mixture of the peevishness of second childhood, and the solemn dignity of a God. He
at length went on deck, and I saw him no more.
A feeling, for which I have no name, has taken possession of my soul -- a sensation which will admit of no
analysis, to which the lessons of bygone times are inadequate, and for which I fear futurity itself will offer
me no key. To a mind constituted like my own, the latter consideration is an evil. I shall never -- I know
that I shall never -- be satisfied with regard to the nature of my conceptions. Yet it is not wonderful that
these conceptions are indefinite, since they have their origin in sources so utterly novel. A new sense -- a
new entity is added to my soul.
It is long since I first trod the deck of this terrible ship, and the rays of my destiny are, I think, gathering
to a focus.Incomprehensible men! Wrapped up in meditations of a kind which I cannot divine, they pass
me by unnoticed. Concealment is utter folly on my part, for the people will not see. It was but just now
that I passed directly before the eyes of the mate -- it was no long while ago that I ventured into the
captain's own private cabin, and took thence the materials with which I write, and have written. I shall
from time to time continue this Journal. It is true that I may not find an opportunity of transmitting it to
the world, but I will not fall to make the endeavour. At the last moment I will enclose the MS. in a bottle,
and cast it within the sea.
An incident has occurred which has given me new room for meditation. Are such things the operation of
ungoverned Chance? I had ventured upon deck and thrown myself down, without attracting any notice,
among a pile of ratlin-stuff and old sails in the bottom of the yawl. While musing upon the singularity of
my fate, I unwittingly daubed with a tar-brush the edges of a neatly-folded studding-sail which lay near
me on a barrel. The studding-sail is now bent upon the ship, and the thoughtless touches of the brush are
spread out into the word DISCOVERY.
I have made many observations lately upon the structure of the vessel. Although well armed, she is not, I
think, a ship of war. Her rigging, build, and general equipment, all negative a supposition of this kind.
What she is not, I can easily perceive -- what she is I fear it is impossible to say. I know not how it is, but
inscrutinizing her strange model and singular cast of spars, her huge size and overgrown suits of canvas,
her severely simple bow and antiquated stern, there will occasionally flash across my mind a sensation of
familiar things, and there is always mixed up with such indistinct shadows of recollection, an
unaccountable memory of old foreign chronicles and ages long ago.
I have been looking at the timbers of the ship. She is built of a material to which I am a stranger. There is
a peculiar character about the wood which strikes me as rendering it unfit for the purpose to which it has
been applied. I mean its extreme porousness, considered independently by the worm-eaten condition
which is a consequence of navigation in these seas, and apart from the rottenness attendant upon age. It
will appear perhaps an observation somewhat over-curious, but this wood would have every,
characteristic of Spanish oak, if Spanish oak were distended by any unnatural means.
In reading the above sentence a curious apothegm of an oldweather-beaten Dutch navigator comes full
upon my recollection. "It is as sure," he was wont to say, when any doubt was entertained of his veracity,
"as sure as there is a sea where the ship itself will grow in bulk like the living body of the seaman."
About an hour ago, I made bold to thrust myself among a group of the crew. They paid me no manner of
attention, and, although I stood in the very midst of them all, seemed utterly unconscious of my presence.
Like the one I had at first seen in the hold, they all bore about them the marks of a hoary old age. Their
knees trembled with infirmity; their shoulders were bent double with decrepitude; their shrivelled skins
rattled in the wind; their voices were low, tremulous and broken; their eyes glistened with the rheum of
years; and their gray hairs streamed terribly in the tempest. Around them, on every part of the deck, lay
scattered mathematical instruments of the most quaint and obsolete construction.
I mentioned some time ago the bending of a studding-sail. From that period the ship, being thrown dead
off the wind, has continued her terrific course due south, with every rag of canvas packed upon her, from
her trucks to her lower studding-sail booms, and rolling every moment her top-gallant yard-arms into the
most appalling hell of water which it can enter into the mind of a man to imagine. I have just left the
deck, where I find it impossible to maintain a footing, although the crew seem to experience little
inconvenience. It appears to me a miracle of miracles that our enormous bulk is not swallowed up at once
and forever. We are surely doomed to hover continually upon the brink of Eternity, without taking a final
plunge into the abyss. From billows a thousand times more stupendous than any I have ever seen, we
glide away with the facility of the arrowy sea-gull; and the colossal waters rear their heads above us like
demons of the deep, but like demons confined to simple threats and forbidden to destroy. I am led to
attribute these frequent escapes to the only natural cause which can account for such effect. -- I must
suppose the ship to be within the influence of some strong current, or impetuous under-tow.
I have seen the captain face to face, and in his own cabin -- but, as I expected, he paid me no attention.
Although in his appearance there is, to a casual observer, nothing which might bespeak him more or less
than man-still a feeling of irrepressible reverence and awe mingled with the sensation of wonder with
which I regarded him. In stature he is nearly my own height; that is, about five feet eight inches. He is of
a well-knit and compact frame of body, neither robust nor remarkably otherwise. But it is the singularity
of the expression which reigns upon the face -- it is the intense, the wonderful, the thrilling evidence of
old age, so utter, so extreme, which excites within my spirit a sense -- a sentiment ineffable. His forehead,
although little wrinkled, seems to bear upon it the stamp of a myriad of years. -- His gray hairs are
records of the past, and his grayer eyes are Sybils of the future. The cabin floor was thickly strewn with
strange, iron-clasped folios, and mouldering instruments of science, and obsolete long-forgotten charts.
His head was bowed down upon his hands, and he pored, with a fiery unquiet eye, over a paper which I
took to be a commission, and which, at all events, bore the signature of a monarch. He muttered to
himself, as did the first seaman whom I saw in the hold, some low peevish syllables of a foreign tongue,
and although the speaker was close at my elbow, his voice seemed to reach my ears from the distance of a
mile.
The ship and all in it are imbued with the spirit of Eld. The crew glide to and fro like the ghosts of buried
centuries; their eyes have an eager and uneasy meaning; and when their fingers fall athwart my path in
the wild glare of the battle-lanterns, I feel as I have never felt before, although I have been all my life a
dealer inantiquities, and have imbibed the shadows of fallen columns at Balbec, and Tadmor, and
Persepolis, until my very soul has become a ruin.
When I look around me I feel ashamed of my former apprehensions. If I trembled at the blast which has
hitherto attended us, shall I not stand aghast at a warring of wind and ocean, to convey any idea of which
the words tornado and simoom are trivial and ineffective? All in the immediate vicinity of the ship is the
blackness of eternal night, and a chaos of foamless water; but, about a league on either side of us, may be
seen, indistinctly and at intervals, stupendous ramparts of ice, towering away into the desolate sky, and
looking like the walls of the universe.
As I imagined, the ship proves to be in a current; if thatappellation can properly be given to a tide which,
howling and shrieking by the white ice, thunders on to the southward with a velocity like the headlong
dashing of a cataract.
To conceive the horror of my sensations is, I presume, utterly impossible; yet a curiosity to penetrate the
mysteries of these awful regions, predominates even over my despair, and will reconcile me to the most
hideous aspect of death. It is evident that we are hurrying onwards to some exciting knowledge -- some
never-to-be-imparted secret, whose attainment is destruction. Perhaps this current leads us to the
southern pole itself. It must be confessed that a supposition apparently so wild has every probability in its
favor.
The crew pace the deck with unquiet and tremulous step; but there is upon their countenances an
expression more of the eagerness of hope than of the apathy of despair.
In the meantime the wind is still in our poop, and, as we carry a crowd of canvas, the ship is at times
lifted bodily from out the sea -- Oh, horror upon horror! the ice opens suddenly to the right, and to the
left, and we are whirling dizzily, in immense concentric circles, round and round the borders of a gigantic
amphitheatre, the summit of whose walls is lost in the darkness and the distance. But little time will be
left me to ponder upon my destiny -- the circles rapidly grow small -- we are plunging madly within the
grasp of the whirlpool -- and amid a roaring, and bellowing, and thundering of ocean and of tempest, the
ship is quivering, oh God! and -- going down.
NOTE. -- The "MS. Found in a Bottle," was originally published in 1831, and it was not until many years
afterwards that I became acquainted with the maps of Mercator, in which the ocean is represented as
rushing, by four mouths, into the (northern) Polar Gulf, to be absorbed into the bowels of the earth; the
Pole itself being represented by a black rock, towering to a prodigious height.
THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
What song the Syrens sang, or what name Achilles assumed when he hid himself among women, although
puzzling questions, are not beyond all conjecture. --Sir Thomas Brow ne
The mental features discoursed of as the analytical, are, in themselves, but little susceptible of analysis.
We appreciate them only in their effects. We know of them, among other things, that they are always to
their possessor, when inordinately possessed, a source of the liveliest enjoyment. As the strong man
exults in his physical ability, delighting in such exercises as call his muscles into action, so glories the
analyst in that moral activity which disentangles. He derives pleasure from even the most trivial
occupations bringing his talent into play. He is fond of enigmas, of conundrums, of hieroglyphics;
exhibiting in his solutions of each a degree of acumen which appears to the ordinary apprehension
praeternatural. His results, brought about by the very soul and essence of method, have, in truth, the
whole air of intuition.
The faculty of re-solution is possibly much invigorated bymathematical study, and especially by that
highest branch of it which, unjustly, and merely on account of its retrograde operations, has been called,
as if par excellence , analysis. Yet to calculate is not in itself to analyse. A chess-player, for example, does
the one without effort at the other. It follows that the game of chess, in its effects upon mental character,
is greatly misunderstood. I am not now writing a treatise, but simply prefacing a somewhat peculiar
narrative by observations very much at random; I will, therefore, take occasion to assert that the higher
powers of the reflective intellect are more decidedly and more usefully tasked by the unostentatious game
of draughts than by a the elaborate frivolity of chess. In this latter, where the pieces have different and
bizarre motions, with various and variable values, what is only complex is mistaken (a not unusual error)
for what is profound. The attention is here called powerfully into play. If it flag for an instant, an oversight
is committed resulting in injury or defeat. The possible moves being not only manifold but involute, the
chances of such oversights are multiplied; and in nine cases out of ten it is the more concentrative rather
than the more acute player who conquers. In draughts, on the contrary, where the moves are unique and
have but little variation, the probabilities of inadvertence are diminished, and the mere attention being
left comparatively unemployed, what advantages are obtained by either party are obtained by superior
acumen . To be less abstract - Let us suppose a game of draughts where the pieces are reduced to four
kings, and where, of course, no oversight is to be expected. It is obvious that here the victory can be
decided (the players being at all equal) only by some recherché movement, the result of some strong
exertion of the intellect. Deprived of ordinary resources, the analyst throws himself into the spirit of his
opponent, identifies himself therewith, and not unfrequently sees thus, at a glance, the sole methods
(sometime indeed absurdly simple ones) by which he may seduce into error or hurry into miscalculation.
Whist has long been noted for its influence upon what is termed the calculating power; and men of the
highest order of intellect have been known to take an apparently unaccountable delight in it, while
eschewing chess as frivolous. Beyond doubt there is nothing of a similar nature so greatly tasking the
faculty of analysis. The best chess-player in Christendom may be little more than the best player of chess;
but proficiency in whist implies capacity for success in all those more important undertakings where mind
struggles with mind. When I say proficiency, I mean that perfection in the game which includes a
comprehension of all the sources whence legitimate advantage may be derived. These are not only
manifold but multiform, and lie frequently among recesses of thought altogether inaccessible to the
ordinary understanding. To observe attentively is to remember distinctly; and, so far, the concentrative
chess-player will do very well at whist; while the rules of Hoyle (themselves based upon the mere
mechanism of the game) are sufficiently and generallycomprehensible. Thus to have a retentive memory,
and to proceed by "the book," are points commonly regarded as the sum total of good playing. But it is in
matters beyond the limits of mere rule that the skill of the analyst is evinced. He makes, in silence, a host
of observations and inferences. So, perhaps, do his companions; and the difference in the extent of the
information obtained, lies not so much in the validity of the inference as in the quality of the observation.
The necessary knowledge is that of what to observe. Our player confines himself not at all; nor, because
the game is the object, does he reject deductions from things external to the game. He examines the
countenance of his partner, comparing it carefully with that of each of his opponents. He considers the
mode of assorting the cards in each hand; often counting trump by trump, and honor by honor, through
the glances bestowed by their holders upon each. He notes every variation of face as the play progresses,
gathering a fund of thought from the differences in the expression of certainty, of surprise, of triumph, or
of chagrin. From the manner of gathering up a trick he judges whether the person taking it can make
another in the suit. He recognises what is played through feint, by the air with which it is thrown upon
the table. A casual or inadvertent word; the accidental dropping or turning of a card, with the
accompanying anxiety or carelessness in regard to itsconcealment; the counting of the tricks, with the
order of their arrangement; embarrassment, hesitation, eagerness or trepidation - all afford, to his
apparently intuitive perception, indications of the true state of affairs. The first two or three rounds
having been played, he is in full possession of the contents of each hand, and thenceforward puts down
his cards with as absolute a precision of purpose as if the rest of the party had turned outward the faces
of their own.
The analytical power should not be confounded with ample ingenuity; for while the analyst is necessarily
ingenious, the ingenious man is often remarkably incapable of analysis. The constructive or combining
power, by which ingenuity is usually manifested, and to which the phrenologists (I believe erroneously)
have assigned a separate organ, supposing it a primitive faculty, has been so frequently seen in those
whose intellect bordered otherwise upon idiocy, as to have attracted general observation among writers
on morals. Between ingenuity and the analytic ability there exists a difference far greater, indeed, than
that between the fancy and the imagination, but of a character very strictly analogous. It will be found, in
fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic.
The narrative which follows will appear to the reader somewhat in the light of a commentary upon the
propositions just advanced.
Residing in Paris during the spring and part of the summer of 18--, I there became acquainted with a
Monsieur C. Auguste Dupin. This young gentleman was of an excellent - indeed of an illustrious family,
but, by a variety of untoward events, had been reduced to such poverty that the energy of his character
succumbed beneath it, and he ceased to bestir himself in the world, or to care for the retrieval of his
fortunes. By courtesy of his creditors, there still remained in his possession a small remnant of his
patrimony; and, upon the income arising from this, he managed, by means of a rigorous economy, to
procure the necessaries of life, without troubling himself about its superfluities. Books, indeed, were his
sole luxuries, and in Paris these are easily obtained.
Our first meeting was at an obscure library in the Rue Montmartre, where the accident of our both being
in search of the same very rare and very remarkable volume, brought us into closer communion. We saw
each other again and again. I was deeply interested in the little family history which he detailed to me
with all that candor which a Frenchman indulges whenever mere self is his theme. I was astonished, too,
at the vast extent of his reading; and, above all, I felt my soul enkindled within me by the wild fervor, and
the vivid freshness of his imagination. Seeking in Paris the objects I then sought, I felt that the societyof
such a man would be to me a treasure beyond price; and this feeling I frankly confided to him. It was at
length arranged that we should live together during my stay in the city; and as my worldly circumstances
were somewhat less embarrassed than his own, I was permitted to be at the expense of renting, and
furnishing in a style which suited the rather fantastic gloom of our common temper, a time-eaten and
grotesque mansion, long deserted through superstitions into which we did not inquire, and tottering to its
fall in a retired and desolate portion of the Faubourg St. Germain.
Had the routine of our life at this place been known to the world, we should have been regarded as
madmen - although, perhaps, as madmen of a harmless nature. Our seclusion was perfect. We admitted
no visitors. Indeed the locality of our retirement had been carefully kept a secret from my own former
associates; and it had been many years since Dupin had ceased to know or be known in Paris. We existed
within ourselves alone.
It was a freak of fancy in my friend (for what else shall I call it?) to be enamored of the Night for her own
sake; and into this bizarrerie , as into all his others, I quietly fell; giving myself up to his wild whims with
a perfect abandon . The sable divinity would not herself dwell with us always; but we could counterfeit
her presence. At the first dawn of the morning we closed all the messy shutters of our old building;
lighting a couple of tapers which, strongly perfumed, threw out only the ghastliest and feeblest of rays.
By the aid of these we then busied our souls in dreams - reading, writing, or conversing, until warned by
the clock of the advent of the true Darkness. Then we sallied forth into the streets arm in arm, continuing
the topics of the day, or roaming far and wide until a late hour, seeking, amid the wild lights and shadows
of the populous city, that infinity of mental excitement which quiet observation can afford.
At such times I could not help remarking and admiring (although from his rich ideality I had been
prepared to expect it) a peculiar analytic ability in Dupin. He seemed, too, to take an eager delight in its
exercise - if not exactly in its display - and did not hesitate to confess the pleasure thus derived. He
boastedto me, with a low chuckling laugh, that most men, in respect to himself, wore windows in their
bosoms, and was wont to follow up such assertions by direct and very startling proofs of his intimate
knowledge of my own. His manner at these moments was frigid and abstract; his eyes were vacant in
expression; while his voice, usually a rich tenor, rose into a treble which would have sounded petulantly
but for the deliberateness and entire distinctness of the enunciation. Observing him in these moods, I
often dwelt meditatively upon the old philosophy of the Bi-Part Soul, and amused myself with the fancy of
a double Dupin - the creative and the resolvent.
Let it not be supposed, from what I have just said, that I am detailing any mystery, or penning any
romance. What I have described in the Frenchman, was merely the result of an excited, or perhaps of a
diseased intelligence. But of the character of his remarks at the periods in question an example will best
convey the idea.
We were strolling one night down a long dirty street in the vicinity of the Palais Royal. Being both,
apparently, occupied with thought, neither of us had spoken a syllable for fifteen minutes at least. All at
once Dupin broke forth with these words:
"He is a very little fellow, that's true, and would do better for the Théâtre des Variétés ."
"There can be no doubt of that," I replied unwittingly, and not at first observing (so much had I been
absorbed in reflection) the extraordinary manner in which the speaker had chimed in with my
meditations. In an instant afterward I recollected myself, and my astonishment was profound.
"Dupin," said I, gravely, "this is beyond my comprehension. I do not hesitate to say that I am amazed, and
can scarcely credit my senses. How was it possible you should know I was thinking of ----- ?" Here I
paused, to ascertain beyond a doubt whether he really knew of whom I thought.
"of Chantilly," said he, "why do you pause? You were remarking to yourself that his diminutive figure
unfitted him for tragedy."
This was precisely what had formed the subject of my reflections. Chantilly was a quondam cobbler of the
Rue St. Denis, who, becoming stage-mad, had attempted the rôle of Xerxes, in Crébillon's tragedy so
called, and been notoriously Pasquinaded for his pains.
"Tell me, for Heaven's sake," I exclaimed, "the method - if method there is - by which you have been
enabled to fathom my soul in this matter." In fact I was even more startled than I would have been willing
to express.
"It was the fruiterer," replied my friend, "who brought you to the conclusion that the mender of soles was
not of sufficient height for Xerxes et id genus omne ."
"The man who ran up against you as we entered the street - it may have been fifteen minutes ago."
I now remembered that, in fact, a fruiterer, carrying upon his head a large basket of apples, had nearly
thrown me down, by accident, as we passed from the Rue C ---- into the thoroughfare where we stood; but
what this had to do with Chantilly I could not possibly understand.
There was not a particle of charlâtanerie about Dupin. "I will explain," he said, "and that you may
comprehend all clearly, we will first retrace the course of your meditations, from the moment in which I
spoke to you until that of the rencontre with the fruiterer in question. The larger links of the chain run
thus - Chantilly, Orion, Dr. Nichols, Epicurus, Stereotomy, the street stones, the fruiterer."
There are few persons who have not, at some period of their lives, amused themselves in retracing the
steps by which particular conclusions of their own minds have been attained. The occupation is often full
of interest and he who attempts it for the first time is astonished by the apparently illimitable distance
and incoherence between the starting-point and the goal. What, then, must have been my amazement
when I heard the Frenchman speak what he had just spoken, and when I could not help acknowledging
that he had spoken the truth. He continued:
"We had been talking of horses, if I remember aright, just before leaving the Rue C ---- . This was the last
subject we discussed. As we crossed into this street, a fruiterer, with a large basket upon his head,
brushing quickly past us, thrust you upon a pile of paving stones collected at a spot where the causeway
is undergoing repair. You stepped upon one of the loose fragments, slipped, slightly strained your ankle,
appeared vexed or sulky, muttered a few words, turned to look at the pile, and then proceeded in silence.
I was not particularly attentive to what you did; but observation has become with me, of late, a species of
necessity.
"You kept your eyes upon the ground - glancing, with a petulant expression, at the holes and ruts in the
pavement, (so that I saw you were still thinking of the stones,) until we reached the little alley called
Lamartine, which has been paved, by way of experiment, with the overlapping and riveted blocks. Here
your countenance brightened up, and, perceiving your lips move, I could not doubt that you murmured
the word 'stereotomy,' a term very affectedly applied to this species of pavement. I knew that you could
not say to yourself 'stereotomy' without being brought to think of atomies, and thus of the theories of
Epicurus; and since, when we discussed this subject not very long ago, I mentioned to you how singularly,
yet with how little notice, the vague guesses of that noble Greek had met with confirmation in the late
nebular cosmogony, I felt that you could not avoid casting your eyes upward to the great nebula in Orion,
and I certainly expected that you would do so. You did look up; and I was now assured that I had correctly
followed your steps. But in that bitter tirade upon Chantilly, which appeared in yesterday's ' Musée ,' the
satirist, making some disgraceful allusions to the cobbler s change of name upon assuming the buskin,
quoted a Latin line about which we have often conversed. I mean the line
I had told you that this was in reference to Orion, formerly written Urion; and, from certain pungencies
connected with this explanation, I was aware that you could not have forgotten it. It was clear, therefore,
that you would not fail to combine the two ideas of Orion and Chantilly. That you did combine them I saw
by the character of the smile which passed over your lips. You thought of the poor cobbler's immolation.
So far, you had been stooping in your gait; but now I saw you draw yourself up to your full height. I was
then sure that you reflected upon the diminutive figure of Chantilly. At this point I interrupted your
meditations to remark that as, in fact, be was a very little fellow - that Chantilly - he would do better at
the Théâtre des Variétés ."
Not long after this, we were looking over an evening edition of the "Gazette des Tribunaux," when the
following paragraphs arrested our attention.
"EXTRAORDINARY MURDERS. - This morning, about three o'clock, the inhabitants of the Quartier St.
Roch were aroused from sleep by a succession of terrific shrieks, issuing, apparently, from the fourth
story of a house in the Rue Morgue, known to be in the sole occupancy of one Madame L'Espanaye, and
her daughter Mademoiselle Camille L'Espanaye. After some delay, occasioned by a fruitless attempt to
procure admission in the usual manner, the gateway was broken in with a crowbar, and eight or ten of the
neighbors entered accompanied by two gendarmes . By this time the cries had ceased; but, as the party
rushed up the first flight of stairs, two or more rough voices in angry contention were distinguished and
seemed to proceed from the upper part of the house. As the second landing was reached, these sounds,
also, had ceased and everything remained perfectly quiet. The party spread themselves and hurried from
room to room. Upon arriving at a large back chamber in the fourth story, (the door of which, being found
locked, with the key inside, was forced open,) a spectacle presented itself which struck every one present
not less with horror than with astonishment.
"The apartment was in the wildest disorder - the furniture broken and thrown about in all directions.
There was only one bedstead; and from this the bed had been removed, and thrown into the middle of the
floor. On a chair lay a razor, besmeared with blood. On the hearth were two or three long and thick
tresses of grey human hair, also dabbled in blood, and seeming to have been pulled out by the roots. Upon
the floor were found four Napoleons, an ear-ring of topaz, three large silver spoons, three smaller of
métal d'Alger , and two bags, containing nearly four thousand francs in gold. The drawers of a bureau ,
which stood in one corner were open, and had been, apparently, rifled, although many articles still
remained in them. A small iron safe was discovered under the bed (not under the bedstead). It was open,
with the key still in the door. It had no contents beyond a few old letters, and other papers of little
consequence.
"Of Madame L'Espanaye no traces were here seen; but an unusual quantity of soot being observed in the
fire-place, a search was made in the chimney, and (horrible to relate!) the; corpse of the daughter, head
downward, was dragged therefrom; it having been thus forced up the narrow aperture for a considerable
distance. The body was quite warm. Upon examining it, many excoriations were perceived, no doubt
occasioned by the violence with which it had been thrust up and disengaged. Upon the face were many
severe scratches, and, upon the throat, dark bruises, and deep indentations of finger nails, as if the
deceased had been throttled to death.
"After a thorough investigation of every portion of the house, without farther discovery, the party made its
way into a small paved yard in the rear of the building, where lay the corpse of the old lady, with her
throat so entirely cut that, upon an attempt to raise her, the head fell off. The body, as well as the head,
was fearfully mutilated - the former so much so as scarcely to retain any semblance of humanity.
"To this horrible mystery there is not as yet, we believe, the slightest clew."
" The Tragedy in the Rue Morgue. Many individuals have been examined in relation to this most
extraordinary and frightful affair. [The word 'affaire' has not yet, in France, that levity of import which it
conveys with us,] "but nothing whatever has transpired to throw light upon it. We give below all the
material testimony elicited.
" Pauline Dubourg , laundress, deposes that she has known both the deceased for three years, having
washed for them during that period. The old lady and her daughter seemed on good terms - very
affectionate towards each other. They were excellent pay. Could not speak in regard to their mode or
means of living. Believed that Madame L. told fortunes for a living. Was reputed to have money put by.
Never met any persons in the house when she called for the clothes or took them home. Was sure that
they had no servant in employ. There appeared to be no furniture in any part of the building except in the
fourth story.
" Pierre Moreau , tobacconist, deposes that he has been in the habit of selling small quantities of tobacco
and snuff to Madame L'Espanaye for nearly four years. Was born in the neighborhood, and has always
resided there. The deceased and her daughter had occupied the house in which the corpses were found,
for more than six years. It was formerly occupied by a jeweller, who under-let the upper rooms to various
persons. The house was the property of Madame L. She became dissatisfied with the abuse of the
premises by her tenant, and moved into them herself, refusing to let any portion. The old lady was
childish. Witness had seen the daughter some five or six times during the six years. The two lived an
exceedingly retired life - were reputed to have money. Had heard it said among the neighbors that
Madame L. told fortunes - did not believe it. Had never seen any person enter the door except the old lady
and her daughter, a porter once or twice, and a physician some eight or ten times.
"Many other persons, neighbors, gave evidence to the same effect. No one was spoken of as frequenting
the house. It was not known whether there were any living connexions of Madame L. and her daughter.
The shutters of the front windows were seldom opened. Those in the rear were always closed, with the
exception of the large back room, fourth story. The house was a good house - not very old.
" Isidore Muset , gendarme , deposes that he was called to the house about three o'clock in the morning,
and found some twenty or thirty persons at the gateway, endeavoring to gain admittance. Forced it open,
at length, with a bayonet - not with a crowbar. Had but little difficulty in getting it open, on account of its
being a double or folding gate, and bolted neither at bottom not top. The shrieks were continued until the
gate was forced - and then suddenly ceased. They seemed to be screams of some person (or persons) in
great agony - were loud and drawn out, not short and quick. Witness led the way up stairs. Upon reaching
the first landing, heard two voices in loud and angry contention - the one a gruff voice, the other much
shriller - a very strange voice. Could distinguish some words of the former, which was that of a
Frenchman. Was positive that it was not a woman's voice. Could distinguish the words ' sacré ' and '
diable. ' The shrill voice was that of a foreigner. Could not be sure whether it was the voice of a man or of
a woman. Could not make out what was said, but believed the language to be Spanish. The state of the
room and of the bodies was described by this witness as we described them yesterday.
" Henri Duval , a neighbor, and by trade a silver-smith, deposes that he was one of the party who first
entered the house. Corroborates the testimony of Musèt in general. As soon as they forced an entrance,
they reclosed the door, to keep out the crowd, which collected very fast, notwithstanding the lateness of
the hour. The shrill voice, this witness thinks, was that of an Italian. Was certain it was not French. Could
not be sure that it was a man's voice. It might have been a woman's. Was not acquainted with the Italian
language. Could not distinguish the words, but was convinced by the intonation that the speaker was an
Italian. Knew Madame L. and her daughter. Had conversed with both frequently. Was sure that the shrill
voice was not that of either of the deceased.
"-- Odenheimer, restaurateur. This witness volunteered his testimony. Not speaking French, was examined
through an interpreter. Is a native of Amsterdam. Was passing the house at the time of the shrieks. They
lasted for several minutes - probably ten. They were long and loud - very awful and distressing. Was one
of those who entered the building. Corroborated the previous evidence in every respect but one. Was sure
that the shrill voice was that of a man - of a Frenchman. Could not distinguish the words uttered. They
were loud and quick - unequal - spoken apparently in fear as well as in anger. The voice was harsh - not so
much shrill as harsh. Could not call it a shrill voice. The gruff voice said repeatedly ' sacré ,' ' diable ,' and
once ' mon Dieu. '
" Jules Mignaud , banker, of the firm of Mignaud et Fils, Rue Deloraine. Is the elder Mignaud. Madame
L'Espanaye had some property. Had opened an account with his banking house in the spring of the year -
(eight years previously). Made frequent deposits in small sums. Had checked for nothing until the third
day before her death, when she took out in person the sum of 4000 francs. This sum was paid in gold, and
a clerk went home with the money.
" Adolphe Le Bon , clerk to Mignaud et Fils, deposes that on the day in question, about noon, he
accompanied Madame L'Espanaye to her residence with the 4000 francs, put up in two bags. Upon the
door being opened, Mademoiselle L. appeared and took from his hands one of the bags, while the old lady
relieved him of the other. He then bowed and departed. Did not see any person in the street at the time. It
is a bye-street - very lonely.
" William Bird , tailor deposes that he was one of the party who entered the house. Is an Englishman. Has
lived in Paris two years. Was one of the first to ascend the stairs. Heard the voices in contention. The
gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Could make out several words, but cannot now remember all. Heard
distinctly ' sacré ' and ' mon Dieu. ' There was a sound at the moment as if of several persons struggling -
a scraping and scuffling sound. The shrill voice was very loud - louder than the gruff one. Is sure that it
was not the voice of an Englishman. Appeared to be that of a German. Might have been a woman's voice.
Does not understand German.
"Four of the above-named witnesses, being recalled, deposed that the door of the chamber in which was
found the body of Mademoiselle L. was locked on the inside when the party reached it. Every thing was
perfectly silent - no groans or noises of any kind. Upon forcing the door no person was seen. The
windows, both of the back and front room, were down and firmly fastened from within. A door between
the two rooms was closed, but not locked. The door leading from the front room into the passage was
locked, with the key on the inside. A small room in the front of the house, on the fourth story, at the head
of the passage was open, the door being ajar. This room was crowded with old beds, boxes, and so forth.
These were carefully removed and searched. There was not an inch of any portion of the house which was
not carefully searched. Sweeps were sent up and down the chimneys. The house was a four story one,
with garrets ( mansardes. ) A trap-door on the roof was nailed down very securely - did not appear to have
been opened for years. The time elapsing between the hearing of the voices in contention and the
breaking open of the room door, was variously stated by the witnesses. Some made it as short as three
minutes - some as long as five. The door was opened with difficulty.
" Alfonzo Garcio , undertaker, deposes that he resides in the Rue Morgue. Is a native of Spain. Was one of
the party who entered the house. Did not proceed up stairs. Is nervous, and was apprehensive of the
consequences of agitation. Heard the voices in contention. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman.
Could not distinguish what was said. The shrill voice was that of an Englishman - is sure of this. Does not
understand the English language, but judges by the intonation.
" Alberto Montani , confectioner, deposes that he was among the first to ascend the stairs. Heard the
voices in question. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Distinguished several words. The speaker
appeared to be expostulating. Could not make out the words of the shrill voice. Spoke quick and unevenly.
Thinks it the voice of a Russian. Corroborates the general testimony. Is an Italian. Never conversed with a
native of Russia.
"Several witnesses, recalled, here testified that the chimneys of all the rooms on the fourth story were too
narrow to admit the passage of a human being. By 'sweeps' were meant cylindrical sweeping brushes,
such as are employed by those who clean chimneys. These brushes were passed up and down every flue
in the house. There is no back passage by which any one could have descended while the party proceeded
up stairs. The body of Mademoiselle L'Espanaye was so firmly wedged in the chimney that it could not be
got down until four or five of the party united their strength.
" Paul Dumas , physician, deposes that he was called to view the bodies about day-break. They were both
then lying on the sacking of the bedstead in the chamber where Mademoiselle L. was found. The corpse
of the young lady was much bruised and excoriated. The fact that it had been thrust up the chimney
would sufficiently account for these appearances. The throat was greatly chafed. There were several deep
scratches just below the chin, together with a series of livid spots which were evidently the impression of
fingers. The face was fearfully discolored, and the eye-balls protruded. The tongue had been partially
bitten through. A large bruise was discovered upon the pit of the stomach, produced, apparently, by the
pressure of a knee. In the opinion of M. Dumas, Mademoiselle L'Espanaye had been throttled to death by
some person or persons unknown. The corpse of the mother was horribly mutilated. All the bones of the
right leg and arm were more or less shattered. The left tibia much splintered, as well as all the ribs of the
left side. Whole body dreadfully bruised and discolored. It was not possible to say how the injuries had
been inflicted. A heavy club of wood, or a broad bar of iron - a chair - any large, heavy, and obtuse weapon
would have produced such results, if wielded by the hands of a very powerful man. No woman could have
inflicted the blows with any weapon. The head of the deceased, when seen by witness, was entirely
separated from the body, and was also greatly shattered. The throat had evidently been cut with some
very sharp instrument - probably with a razor.
" Alexandre Etienne , surgeon, was called with M. Dumas to view the bodies. Corroborated the testimony,
and the opinions of M. Dumas.
"Nothing farther of importance was elicited, although several other persons were examined. A murder so
mysterious, and so perplexing in all its particulars, was never before committed in Paris - if indeed a
murder has been committed at all. The police are entirely at fault - an unusual occurrence in affairs of
this nature. There is not, however, the shadow of a clew apparent."
The evening edition of the paper stated that the greatest excitement still continued in the Quartier St.
Roch - that the premises in question had been carefully re-searched, and fresh examinations of witnesses
instituted, but all to no purpose. A postscript, however, mentioned that Adolphe Le Bon had been arrested
and imprisoned - although nothing appeared to criminate him, beyond the facts already detailed.
Dupin seemed singularly interested in the progress of this affair -- at least so I judged from his manner,
for he made no comments. It was only after the announcement that Le Bon had been imprisoned, that he
asked me my opinion respecting the murders.
I could merely agree with all Paris in considering them an insoluble mystery. I saw no means by which it
would be possible to trace the murderer.
"We must not judge of the means," said Dupin, "by this shell of an examination. The Parisian police, so
much extolled for acumen , are cunning, but no more. There is no method in their proceedings, beyond
the method of the moment. They make a vast parade of measures; but, not unfrequently, these are so ill
adapted to the objects proposed, as to put us in mind of Monsieur Jourdain's calling for his robe-de-
chambre - pour mieux entendre la musique. The results attained by them are not unfrequently surprising,
but, for the most part, are brought about by simple diligence and activity. When these qualities are
unavailing, their schemes fail. Vidocq, for example, was a good guesser and a persevering man. But,
without educated thought, he erred continually by the very intensity of hisinvestigations. He impaired
his vision by holding the object too close. He might see, perhaps, one or two points with unusual
clearness, but in so doing he, necessarily, lost sight of the matter as a whole. Thus there is such a thing as
being too profound. Truth is not always in a well. In fact, as regards the more important knowledge, I do
believe that she is invariably superficial. The depth lies in the valleys where we seek her, and not upon the
mountain-tops where she is found. The modes and sources of this kind of error are well typified in the
contemplation of the heavenly bodies. To look at a star by glances - to view it in a side-long way, by
turning toward it the exterior portions of the retina (more susceptible of feeble impressions of light than
the interior), is to behold the star distinctly - is to have the best appreciation of its lustre - a lustre which
grows dim just in proportion as we turn our vision fully upon it. A greater number of rays actually fall
upon the eye in the latter case, but, in the former, there is the more refined capacity for comprehension.
By undue profundity we perplex and enfeeble thought; and it is possible to make even Venus herself
vanish from the firmanent by a scrutiny too sustained, tooconcentrated, or too direct.
"As for these murders, let us enter into some examinations for ourselves, before we make up an opinion
respecting them. An inquiry will afford us amusement," [I thought this an odd term, so applied, but said
nothing] "and, besides, Le Bon once rendered me a service for which I am not ungrateful. We will go and
see the premises with our own eyes. I know G----, the Prefect of Police, and shall have no difficulty in
obtaining the necessary permission."
The permission was obtained, and we proceeded at once to the Rue Morgue. This is one of those
miserable thoroughfares which intervene between the Rue Richelieu and the Rue St. Roch. It was late in
the afternoon when we reached it; as this quarter is at a great distance from that in which we resided.
The house was readily found; for there were still many persons gazing up at the closed shutters, with an
objectless curiosity, from the opposite side of the way. It was an ordinary Parisian house, with a gateway,
on one side of which was a glazed watch-box, with a sliding panel in the window, indicating a loge de
concierge. Before going in we walked up the street, turned down an alley, and then, again turning, passed
in the rear of the building - Dupin, meanwhile examining the whole neighborhood, as well as the house,
with a minuteness of attention for which I could see no possible object.
Retracing our steps, we came again to the front of the dwelling, rang, and, having shown our credentials,
were admitted by the agents in charge. We went up stairs - into the chamber where the body of
Mademoiselle L'Espanaye had been found, and where both the deceased still lay. The disorders of the
room had, as usual, been suffered to exist. I saw nothing beyond what had been stated in the "Gazette des
Tribunaux." Dupin scrutinized every thing - not excepting the bodies of the victims. We then went into the
other rooms, and into the yard; a gendarme accompanying us throughout. The examination occupied us
until dark, when we took our departure. On our way home my companion stepped in for a moment at the
office of one of the daily papers.
I have said that the whims of my friend were manifold, and that Je les ménagais : - for this phrase there is
no English equivalent. It was his humor, now, to decline all conversation on the subject of the murder,
until about noon the next day. He then asked me, suddenly, if I had observed any thing peculiar at the
scene of the atrocity.
There was something in his manner of emphasizing the word "peculiar," which caused me to shudder,
without knowing why.
"No, nothing peculiar ," I said; "nothing more, at least, than we both saw stated in the paper."
"The 'Gazette,' " he replied, "has not entered, I fear, into the unusual horror of the thing. But dismiss the
idle opinions of this print. It appears to me that this mystery is considered insoluble, for the very reason
which should cause it to be regarded as easy of solution - I mean for the outré character of its features.
The police are confounded by the seeming absence of motive - not for the murder itself - but for the
atrocity of the murder. They are puzzled, too, by the seeming impossibility of reconciling the voices heard
in contention, with the facts that no one was discovered up stairs but the assassinated Mademoiselle
L'Espanaye, and that there were no means of egress without the notice of the party ascending. The wild
disorder of the room; the corpse thrust, with the head downward, up the chimney; the frightful mutilation
of the body of the old lady; these considerations, with those just mentioned, and others which I need not
mention, have sufficed to paralyze the powers, by putting completely at fault the boasted acumen , of the
government agents. They have fallen into the gross but common error of confounding the unusual with
the abstruse. But it is by these deviations from the plane of the ordinary, that reason feels its way, if at all,
in its search for the true. In investigations such as we are now pursuing, it should not be so much asked
'what has occurred,' as 'what has occurred that has never occurred before.' In fact, the facility with which
I shall arrive, or have arrived, at the solution of this mystery, is in the direct ratio of its apparent
insolubility in the eyes of the police."
"I am now awaiting," continued he, looking toward the door of our apartment - "I am now awaiting a
person who, although perhaps not the perpetrator of these butcheries, must have been in some measure
implicated in their perpetration. Of the worst portion of the crimes committed, it is probable that he is
innocent. I hope that I am right in this supposition; for upon it I build my expectation of reading the entire
riddle. I look for the man here - in this room - every moment. It is true that he may not arrive; but the
probability is that he will. Should he come, it will be necessary to detain him. Here are pistols; and we
both know how to use them when occasion demands their use."
I took the pistols, scarcely knowing what I did, or believing what I heard, while Dupin went on, very much
as if in a soliloquy. I have already spoken of his abstract manner at such times. His discourse was
addressed to myself; but his voice, although by no means loud, had that intonation which is commonly
employed in speaking to some one at a great distance. His eyes, vacant in expression, regarded only the
wall.
"That the voices heard in contention," he said, "by the party upon the stairs, were not the voices of the
women themselves, was fully proved by the evidence. This relieves us of all doubt upon the question
whether the old lady could have first destroyed the daughter and afterward have committed suicide. I
speak of this point chiefly for the sake of method; for the strength of Madame L'Espanaye would have
been utterly unequal to the task of thrusting her daughter's corpse up the chimney as it was found; and
the nature of the wounds upon her own person entirely preclude the idea of self-destruction. Murder,
then, has been committed by some third party; and the voices of this third party were those heard in
contention. Let me now advert - not to the whole testimony respecting these voices - but to what was
peculiar in that testimony. Did you observe any thing peculiar about it?"
I remarked that, while all the witnesses agreed in supposing the gruff voice to be that of a Frenchman,
there was much disagreement in regard to the shrill, or, as one individual termed it, the harsh voice.
"That was the evidence itself," said Dupin, "but it was not the peculiarity of the evidence. You have
observed nothing distinctive. Yet there was something to be observed. The witnesses, as you remark,
agreed about the gruff voice; they were here unanimous. But in regard to the shrill voice, the peculiarity
is - not that they disagreed - but that, while an Italian, an Englishman, a Spaniard, a Hollander, and a
Frenchman attempted to describe it, each one spoke of it as that of a foreigner . Each is sure that it was
not the voice of one of his own countrymen. Each likens it - not to the voice of an individual of any nation
with whose language he is conversant - but the converse. The Frenchman supposes it the voice of a
Spaniard, and 'might have distinguished some words had he been acquainted with the Spanish. ' The
Dutchman maintains it to have been that of a Frenchman; but we find it stated that ' not understanding
French this witness was examined through an interpreter. ' The Englishman thinks it the voice of a
German, and ' does not understand German. ' The Spaniard 'is sure' that it was that of an Englishman, but
'judges by the intonation' altogether, ' as he has no knowledge of the English. ' The Italian believes it the
voice of a Russian, but ' has never conversed with a native of Russia. ' A second Frenchman differs,
moreover, with the first, and is positive that the voice was that of an Italian; but, not being cognizant of
that tongue , is, like the Spaniard, 'convinced by the intonation.' Now, how strangely unusual must that
voice have really been, about which such testimony as this could have been elicited! - in whose tones ,
even, denizens of the five great divisions of Europe could recognise nothing familiar! You will say that it
might have been the voice of an Asiatic - of an African. Neither Asiatics nor Africans abound in Paris; but,
without denying the inference, I will now merely call your attention to three points. The voice is termed
by one witness 'harsh rather than shrill.' It is represented by two others to have been 'quick and unequal.
' No words - no sounds resembling words - were by any witness mentioned as distinguishable.
"I know not," continued Dupin, "what impression I may have made, so far, upon your own understanding;
but I do not hesitate to say that legitimate deductions even from this portion of the testimony - the portion
respecting the gruff and shrill voices - are in themselves sufficient to engender a suspicion which should
give direction to all farther progress in the investigation of the mystery. I said 'legitimate deductions;' but
my meaning is not thus fully expressed. I designed to imply that the deductions are the sole proper ones,
and that the suspicion arises inevitably from them as the single result. What the suspicion is, however, I
will not say just yet. I merely wish you to bear in mind that, with myself, it wassufficiently forcible to
give a definite form - a certain tendency - to my inquiries in the chamber.
"Let us now transport ourselves, in fancy, to this chamber. What shall we first seek here? The means of
egress employed by the murderers. It is not too much to say that neither of us believe in praeternatural
events. Madame and Mademoiselle L'Espanaye were not destroyed by spirits. The doers of the deed were
material, and escaped materially. Then how? Fortunately, there is but one mode of reasoning upon the
point, and that mode must lead us to a definite decision. - Let us examine, each by each, the possible
means of egress. It is clear that the assassins were in the room where Mademoiselle L'Espanaye was
found, or at least in the room adjoining, when the party ascended the stairs. It is then only from these two
apartments that we have to seek issues. The police have laid bare the floors, the ceilings, and the
masonry of the walls, in every direction. No secret issues could have escaped their vigilance. But, not
trusting to their eyes, I examined with my own. There were, then, no secret issues. Both doors leading
from the rooms into the passage were securely locked, with the keys inside. Let us turn to the chimneys.
These, although of ordinary width for some eight or ten feet above the hearths, will not admit, throughout
their extent, the body of a large cat. The impossibility of egress, by means already stated, being thus
absolute, we are reduced to the windows. Through those of the front room no one could have escaped
without notice from the crowd in the street. The murderers must have passed, then, through those of the
back room. Now, brought to this conclusion in so unequivocal a manner as we are, it is not our part, as
reasoners, to reject it on account of apparent impossibilities. It is only left for us to prove that these
apparent 'impossibilities' are, in reality, not such.
"There are two windows in the chamber. One of them is unobstructed by furniture, and is wholly visible.
The lower portion of the other is hidden from view by the head of the unwieldy bedstead which is thrust
close up against it. The former was found securely fastened from within. It resisted the utmost force of
those who endeavored to raise it. A large gimlet-hole had been pierced in its frame to the left, and a very
stout nail was found fitted therein, nearly to the head. Upon examining the other window, a similar nail
was seen similarly fitted in it; and a vigorous attempt to raise this sash, failed also. The police were now
entirely satisfied that egress had not been in these directions. And, therefore , it was thought a matter of
supererogation to withdraw the nails and open the windows.
"My own examination was somewhat more particular, and was so for the reason I have just given -
because here it was, I knew, that all apparent impossibilities must be proved to be not such in reality.
"I proceeded to think thus - à posteriori . The murderers did escape from one of these windows. This
being so, they could not have refastened the sashes from the inside, as they were found fastened; - the
consideration which put a stop, through its obviousness, to the scrutiny of the police in this quarter. Yet
the sashes were fastened. They must , then, have the power of fastening themselves. There was no escape
from this conclusion. I stepped to theunobstructed casement, withdrew the nail with some difficulty and
attempted to raise the sash. It resisted all my efforts, as I had anticipated. A concealed spring must, I now
know, exist; and this corroboration of my idea convinced me that my premises at least, were correct,
however mysterious still appeared the circumstances attending the nails. A careful search soon brought
to light the hidden spring. I pressed it, and, satisfied with the discovery, forbore to upraise the sash.
"I now replaced the nail and regarded it attentively. A person passing out through this window might have
reclosed it, and the spring would have caught - but the nail could not have been replaced. The conclusion
was plain, and again narrowed in the field of my investigations. The assassins must have escaped through
the other window. Supposing, then, the springs upon each sash to be the same, as was probable, there
must be found a difference between the nails, or at least between the modes of their fixture. Getting upon
the sacking of the bedstead, I looked over the head-board minutely at the second casement. Passing my
hand down behind the board, I readily discovered and pressed the spring, which was, as I had supposed,
identical in character with its neighbor. I now looked at the nail. It was as stout as the other, and
apparently fitted in the same manner - driven in nearly up to the head.
"You will say that I was puzzled; but, if you think so, you must have misunderstood the nature of the
inductions. To use a sporting phrase, I had not been once 'at fault.' The scent had never for an instant
been lost. There was no flaw in any link of the chain. I had traced the secret to its ultimate result, - and
that result was the nail. It had, I say, in every respect, the appearance of its fellow in the other window;
but this fact was an absolute nullity (conclusive us it might seem to be) when compared with the
consideration that here, at this point, terminated the clew. 'There must be something wrong,' I said,
'about the nail.' I touched it; and the head, with about a quarter of an inch of the shank, came off in my
fingers. The rest of the shank was in the gimlet-hole where it had been broken off. The fracture was an
old one (for its edges were incrusted with rust), and had apparently been accomplished by the blow of a
hammer, which had partially imbedded, in the top of the bottom sash, the head portion of the nail. I now
carefully replaced this head portion in the indentation whence I had taken it, and the resemblance to a
perfect nail was complete - the fissure was invisible. Pressing the spring, I gently raised the sash for a few
inches; the head went up with it, remaining firm in its bed. I closed the window, and the semblance of the
whole nail was again perfect.
"The riddle, so far, was now unriddled. The assassin had escaped through the window which looked upon
the bed. Dropping of its own accord upon his exit (or perhaps purposely closed), it had become fastened
by the spring; and it was the retention of this spring which had been mistaken by the police for that of the
nail, - farther inquiry being thus considered unnecessary.
"The next question is that of the mode of descent. Upon this point I had been satisfied in my walk with
you around the building. About five feet and a half from the casement in question there runs a lightning-
rod. From this rod it would have been impossible for any one to reach the window itself, to say nothing of
entering it. I observed, however, that the shutters of the fourth story were of the peculiar kind called by
Parisian carpenters ferrades - a kind rarely employed at the present day, but frequently seen upon very
old mansions at Lyons and Bourdeaux. They are in the form of an ordinary door, (a single, not a folding
door) except that the lower half is latticed or worked in open trellis - thus affording an excellent hold for
the hands. In the present instance these shutters are fully three feet and a half broad. When we saw them
from the rear of the house, they were both about half open - that is to say, they stood off at right angles
from the wall. It is probable that the police, as well as myself, examined the back of the tenement; but, if
so, in looking at these ferrades in the line of their breadth (as they must have done), they did not perceive
this great breadth itself, or, at all events, failed to take it into due consideration. In fact, having once
satisfied themselves that no egress could have been made in this quarter, they would naturally bestow
here a very cursory examination. It was clear to me, however, that the shutter belonging to the window at
the head of the bed, would, if swung fully back to the wall, reach to within two feet of the lightning-rod. It
was also evident that, by exertion of a very unusual degree of activity and courage, an entrance into the
window, from the rod, might have been thus effected. - By reaching to the distance of two feet and a half
(we now suppose the shutter open to its whole extent) a robber might have taken a firm grasp upon the
trellis-work. Letting go, then, his hold upon the rod, placing his feet securely against the wall, and
springing boldly from it, he might have swung the shutter so as to close it, and, if we imagine the window
open at the time, might even have swung himself into the room.
"I wish you to bear especially in mind that I have spoken of a very unusual degree of activity as requisite
to success in so hazardous and so difficult a feat. It is my design to show you, first, that the thing might
possibly have been accomplished: - but, secondly and chiefly , I wish to impress upon your understanding
the very extraordinary - the almost praeternatural character of that agility which could have
accomplished it.
"You will say, no doubt, using the language of the law, that 'to make out my case,' I should rather
undervalue, than insist upon a full estimation of the activity required in this matter. This may be the
practice in law, but it is not the usage of reason. My ultimate object is only the truth. My immediate
purpose is to lead you to place in juxta-position, that very unusual activity of which I have just spoken
with that very peculiar shrill (or harsh) and unequal voice, about whose nationality no two persons could
be found to agree, and in whose utterance no syllabification could be detected."
At these words a vague and half-formed conception of the meaning of Dupin flitted over my mind. I
seemed to be upon the verge of comprehension without power to comprehend - men, at times, find
themselves upon the brink of remembrance without being able, in the end, to remember. My friend went
on with his discourse.
"You will see," he said, "that I have shifted the question from the mode of egress to that of ingress. It was
my design to convey the idea that both were effected in the same manner, at the same point. Let us now
revert to the interior of the room. Let us survey the appearances here. The drawers of the bureau, it is
said, had been rifled, although many articles of apparel still remained within them. The conclusion here is
absurd. It is a mere guess - a very silly one - and no more. How are we to know that the articles found in
the drawers were not all these drawers had originally contained? Madame L'Espanaye and her daughter
lived an exceedingly retired life - saw no company - seldom went out - had little use for numerous changes
of habiliment. Those found were at least of as good quality as any likely to be possessed by these ladies. If
a thief had taken any, why did he not take the best - why did he not take all? In a word, why did he
abandon four thousand francs in gold to encumber himself with a bundle of linen? The gold was
abandoned. Nearly the whole sum mentioned by Monsieur Mignaud, the banker, was discovered, in bags,
upon the floor. I wish you, therefore, to discard from your thoughts the blundering idea of motive ,
engendered in the brains of the police by that portion of the evidence which speaks of money delivered at
the door of the house. Coincidences ten times as remarkable as this (the delivery of the money, and
murder committed within three days upon the party receiving it), happen to all of us every hour of our
lives, without attracting even momentary notice. Coincidences, in general, are great stumbling-blocks in
the way of that class of thinkers who have been educated to know nothing of the theory of probabilities -
that theory to which the most glorious objects of human research are indebted for the most glorious of
illustration. In the present instance, had the gold been gone, the fact of its delivery three days before
would have formed something more than a coincidence. It would have been corroborative of this idea of
motive. But, under the real circumstances of the case, if we are to suppose gold the motive of this
outrage, we must also imagine the perpetrator so vacillating an idiot as to have abandoned his gold and
his motive together.
"Keeping now steadily in mind the points to which I have drawn your attention - that peculiar voice, that
unusual agility, and that startling absence of motive in a murder so singularly atrocious as this - let us
glance at the butchery itself. Here is a woman strangled to death by manual strength, and thrust up a
chimney, head downward. Ordinary assassins employ no such modes of murder as this. Least of all, do
they thus dispose of the murdered. In the manner of thrusting the corpse up the chimney, you will admit
that there was something excessively outré - something altogether irreconcilable with our common
notions of human action, even when we suppose the actors the most depraved of men. Think, too, how
great must have been that strength which could have thrust the body up such an aperture so forcibly that
the united vigor of several persons was found barely sufficient to drag it down!
"Turn, now, to other indications of the employment of a vigor most marvellous. On the hearth were thick
tresses - very thick tresses - of grey human hair. These had been torn out by the roots. You are aware of
the great force necessary in tearing thus from the head even twenty or thirty hairs together. You saw the
locks in question as well as myself. Their roots (a hideous sight!) were clotted with fragments of the flesh
of the scalp - sure token of the prodigious power which had been exerted in uprooting perhaps half a
million of hairs at a time. The throat of the old lady was not merely cut, but the head absolutely severed
from the body: the instrument was a mere razor. I wish you also to look at the brutal ferocity of these
deeds. Of the bruises upon the body of Madame L'Espanaye I do not speak. Monsieur Dumas, and his
worthy coadjutor Monsieur Etienne, have pronounced that they were inflicted by some obtuse instrument;
and so far these gentlemen are very correct. The obtuse instrument was clearly the stone pavement in the
yard, upon which the victim had fallen from the window which looked in upon the bed. This idea, however
simple it may now seem, escaped the police for the same reason that the breadth of the shutters escaped
them - because, by the affair of the nails, their perceptions had been hermetically sealed against the
possibility of the windows having ever been opened at all.
"If now, in addition to all these things, you have properly reflected upon the odd disorder of the chamber,
we have gone so far as to combine the ideas of an agility astounding, a strength superhuman, a ferocity
brutal, a butchery without motive, a grotesquerie in horror absolutely alien from humanity, and a voice
foreign in tone to the ears of men of many nations, and devoid of all distinct or intelligible syllabification.
What result, then, has ensued? What impression have I made upon your fancy?"
I felt a creeping of the flesh as Dupin asked me the question. "A madman," I said, "has done this deed -
some raving maniac, escaped from a neighboring Maison de Santé. "
"In some respects," he replied, "your idea is not irrelevant. But the voices of madmen, even in their
wildest paroxysms, are never found to tally with that peculiar voice heard upon the stairs. Madmen are of
some nation, and their language, however incoherent in its words, has always the coherence of
syllabification. Besides, the hair of a madman is not such as I now hold in my hand. I disentangled this
little tuft from the rigidly clutched fingers of Madame L'Espanaye. Tell me what you can make of it."
"Dupin!" I said, completely unnerved; "this hair is most unusual - this is no human hair."
"I have not asserted that it is," said he; "but, before we decide this point, I wish you to glance at the little
sketch I have here traced upon this paper. It is a fac-simile drawing of what has been described in one
portion of the testimony as 'dark bruises, and deep indentations of finger nails,' upon the throat of
Mademoiselle L'Espanaye, and in another, (by Messrs. Dumas and Etienne,) as a 'series of livid spots,
evidently the impression of fingers.'
"You will perceive," continued my friend, spreading out the paper upon the table before us, "that this
drawing gives the idea of a firm and fixed hold. There is no slipping apparent. Each finger has retained -
possibly until the death of the victim - the fearful grasp by which it originally imbedded itself. Attempt,
now, to place all your fingers, at the same time, in the respective impressions as you see them."
"We are possibly not giving this matter a fair trial," he said. "The paper is spread out upon a plane
surface; but the human throat is cylindrical. Here is a billet of wood, the circumference of which is about
that of the throat. Wrap the drawing around it, and try the experiment again."
I did so; but the difficulty was even more obvious than before. "This," I said, "is the mark of no human
hand."
It was a minute anatomical and generally descriptive account of the large fulvous Ourang-Outang of the
East Indian Islands. The gigantic stature, the prodigious strength and activity, the wild ferocity, and the
imitative propensities of these mammalia are sufficiently well known to all. I understood the full horrors
of the murder at once.
"The description of the digits," said I, as I made an end of reading, "is in exact accordance with this
drawing. I see that no animal but an Ourang-Outang, of the species here mentioned, could have
impressed the indentations as you have traced them. This tuft of tawny hair, too, is identical in character
with that of the beast of Cuvier. But I cannot possibly comprehend the particulars of this frightful mystery.
Besides, there were two voices heard in contention, and one of them was unquestionably the voice of a
Frenchman."
"True; and you will remember an expression attributed almost unanimously, by the evidence, to this voice,
- the expression, ' mon Dieu! ' This, under the circumstances, has been justly characterized by one of the
witnesses (Montani, the confectioner,) as an expression of remonstrance or expostulation. Upon these two
words, therefore, I have mainly built my hopes of a full solution of the riddle. A Frenchman was cognizant
of the murder. It is possible - indeed it is far more than probable - that he was innocent of all participation
in the bloody transactions which took place. The Ourang-Outang may have escaped from him. He may
have traced it to the chamber; but, under the agitating circumstances which ensued, he could never have
re-captured it. It is still at large. I will not pursue these guesses - for I have no right to call them more -
since the shades of reflection upon which they are based are scarcely of sufficient depth to be appreciable
by my own intellect, and since I could not pretend to make them intelligible to the understanding of
another. We will call them guesses then, and speak of them as such. If the Frenchman in question is
indeed, as I suppose, innocent of this atrocity, this advertisement which I left last night, upon our return
home, at the office of 'Le Monde,' (a paper devoted to the shipping interest, and much sought by sailors,)
will bring him to our residence."
He handed me a paper, and I read thus:
CAUGHT - In the Bois de Boulogne, early in the morning of the - inst., (the morning of the murder,) a very
large, tawnyOurang-Outang of the Bornese species. The owner, (who is ascertained to be a sailor,
belonging to a Maltese vessel,) may have the animal again, upon identifying it satisfactorily, and paying a
few charges arising from its capture and keeping. Call at No. ---- , Rue ----, Faubourg St. Germain - au
troisiême.
"How was it possible," I asked, "that you should know the man to be a sailor, and belonging to a Maltese
vessel?"
"I do not know it," said Dupin. "I am not sure of it. Here, however, is a small piece of ribbon, which from
its form, and from its greasy appearance, has evidently been used in tying the hair in one of those long
queues of which sailors are so fond. Moreover, this knot is one which few besides sailors can tie, and is
peculiar to the Maltese. I picked the ribbon up at the foot of thelightning-rod. It could not have belonged
to either of the deceased. Now if, after all, I am wrong in my induction from this ribbon, that the
Frenchman was a sailor belonging to a Maltese vessel, still I can have done no harm in saying what I did
in the advertisement. If I am in error, he will merely suppose that I have been misled by some
circumstance into which he will not take the trouble to inquire. But if I am right, a great point is gained.
Cognizant although innocent of the murder, the Frenchman will naturally hesitate about replying to the
advertisement - about demanding the Ourang-Outang. He will reason thus: - 'I am innocent; I am poor; my
Ourang-Outang is of great value - to one in my circumstances a fortune of itself - why should I lose it
through idle apprehensions of danger? Here it is, within my grasp. It was found in the Bois de Boulogne -
at a vast distance from the scene of that butchery. How can it ever be suspected that a brute beast should
have done the deed? The police are at fault - they have failed to procure the slightest clew. Should they
even trace the animal, it would be impossible to prove me cognizant of the murder, or to implicate me in
guilt on account of that cognizance. Above all, I am known. The advertiser designates me as the possessor
of the beast. I am not sure to what limit his knowledge may extend. Should I avoid claiming a property of
so great value, which it is known that I possess, I will render the animal at least, liable to suspicion. It is
not my policy to attract attention either to myself or to the beast. I will answer the advertisement, get the
Ourang-Outang, and keep it close until this matter has blown over.' "
"Be ready," said Dupin, "with your pistols, but neither use them nor show them until at a signal from
myself."
The front door of the house had been left open, and the visiter had entered, without ringing, and
advanced several steps upon the staircase. Now, however, he seemed to hesitate. Presently we heard him
descending. Dupin was moving quickly to the door, when we again heard him coming up. He did not turn
back a second time, but stepped up with decision, and rapped at the door of our chamber.
A man entered. He was a sailor, evidently, - a tall, stout, and muscular-looking person, with a certain dare-
devil expression of countenance, not altogether unprepossessing. His face, greatly sunburnt, was more
than half hidden by whisker and mustachio. He had with him a huge oaken cudgel, but appeared to be
otherwise unarmed. He bowed awkwardly, and bade us "good evening," in French accents, which,
although somewhat Neufchatelish, were still sufficiently indicative of a Parisian origin.
"Sit down, my freind," said Dupin. "I suppose you have called about the Ourang-Outang. Upon my word, I
almost envy you the possession of him; a remarkably fine, and no doubt a very valuable animal. How old
do you suppose him to be?"
The sailor drew a long breath, with the air of a man relieved of some intolerable burden, and then replied,
in an assured tone:
"I have no way of telling - but he can't be more than four or five years old. Have you got him here?"
"Oh no, we had no conveniences for keeping him here. He is at a livery stable in the Rue Dubourg, just by.
You can get him in the morning. Of course you are prepared to identify the property?"
"I don't mean that you should be at all this trouble for nothing, sir," said the man. "Couldn't expect it. Am
very willing to pay a reward for the finding of the animal - that is to say, any thing in reason."
"Well," replied my friend, "that is all very fair, to be sure. Let me think! - what should I have? Oh! I will tell
you. My reward shall be this. You shall give me all the information in your power about these murders in
the Rue Morgue."
Dupin said the last words in a very low tone, and very quietly. Just as quietly, too, he walked toward the
door, locked it and put the key in his pocket. He then drew a pistol from his bosom and placed it, without
the least flurry, upon the table.
The sailor's face flushed up as if he were struggling withsuffocation. He started to his feet and grasped
his cudgel, but the next moment he fell back into his seat, trembling violently, and with the countenance
of death itself. He spoke not a word. I pitied him from the bottom of my heart.
"My friend," said Dupin, in a kind tone, "you are alarming yourself unnecessarily - you are indeed. We
mean you no harm whatever. I pledge you the honor of a gentleman, and of a Frenchman, that we intend
you no injury. I perfectly well know that you are innocent of the atrocities in the Rue Morgue. It will not
do, however, to deny that you are in some measure implicated in them. From what I have already said,
you must know that I have had means of information about this matter - means of which you could never
have dreamed. Now the thing stands thus. You have done nothing which you could have avoided - nothing,
certainly, which renders you culpable. You were not even guilty of robbery, when you might have robbed
with impunity. You have nothing to conceal. You have no reason for concealment. On the other hand, you
are bound by every principle of honor to confess all you know. An innocent man is now imprisoned,
charged with that crime of which you can point out the perpetrator."
The sailor had recovered his presence of mind, in a great measure, while Dupin uttered these words; but
his original boldness of bearing was all gone.
"So help me God," said he, after a brief pause, "I will tell you all I know about this affair; - but I do not
expect you to believe one half I say - I would be a fool indeed if I did. Still, I am innocent, and I will make
a clean breast if I die for it."
What he stated was, in substance, this. He had lately made a voyage to the Indian Archipelago. A party, of
which he formed one, landed at Borneo, and passed into the interior on an excursion of pleasure. Himself
and a companion had captured the Ourang- Outang. This companion dying, the animal fell into his own
exclusive possession. After great trouble, occasioned by the intractable ferocity of his captive during the
home voyage, he at length succeeded in lodging it safely at his own residence in Paris, where, not to
attract toward himself the unpleasant curiosity of his neighbors, he kept it carefully secluded, until such
time as it should recover from a wound in the foot, received from a splinter on board ship. His ultimate
design was to sell it.
Returning home from some sailors' frolic the night, or rather in the morning of the murder, he found the
beast occupying his own bed-room, into which it had broken from a closet adjoining, where it had been,
as was thought, securely confined. Razor in hand, and fully lathered, it was sitting before a looking-glass,
attempting the operation of shaving, in which it had no doubt previously watched its master through the
key-hole of the closet. Terrified at the sight of so dangerous a weapon in the possession of an animal so
ferocious, and so well able to use it, the man, for some moments, was at a loss what to do. He had been
accustomed, however, to quiet the creature, even in its fiercest moods, by the use of a whip, and to this he
now resorted. Upon sight of it, the Ourang-Outang sprang at once through the door of the chamber, down
the stairs, and thence, through a window, unfortunately open, into the street.
The Frenchman followed in despair; the ape, razor still in hand, occasionally stopping to look back and
gesticulate at its pursuer, until the latter had nearly come up with it. It then again made off. In this
manner the chase continued for a long time. The streets were profoundly quiet, as it was nearly three
o'clock in the morning. In passing down an alley in the rear of the Rue Morgue, the fugitive's attention
was arrested by a light gleaming from the open window of Madame L'Espanaye's chamber, in the fourth
story of her house. Rushing to the building, it perceived the lightning rod, clambered up with
inconceivable agility, grasped the shutter, which was thrown fully back against the wall, and, by its
means, swung itself directly upon the headboard of the bed. The whole feat did not occupy a minute. The
shutter was kicked open again by the Ourang-Outang as it entered the room.
The sailor, in the meantime, was both rejoiced and perplexed. He had strong hopes of now recapturing
the brute, as it could scarcely escape from the trap into which it had ventured, except by the rod, where it
might be intercepted as it came down. On the other hand, there was much cause for anxiety as to what it
might do in the house. This latter reflection urged the man still to follow the fugitive. A lightning rod is
ascended without difficulty, especially by a sailor; but, when he had arrived as high as the window, which
lay far to his left, his career was stopped; the most that he could accomplish was to reach over so as to
obtain a glimpse of the interior of the room. At this glimpse he nearly fell from his hold through excess of
horror. Now it was that those hideous shrieks arose upon the night, which had startled from slumber the
inmates of the Rue Morgue. Madame L'Espanaye and her daughter, habited in their night clothes, had
apparently been occupied in arranging some papers in the iron chest already mentioned, which had been
wheeled into the middle of the room. It was open, and its contents lay beside it on the floor. The victims
must have been sitting with their backs toward the window; and, from the time elapsing between the
ingress of the beast and the screams, it seems probable that it was not immediately perceived. The
flapping-to of the shutter would naturally have been attributed to the wind.
As the sailor looked in, the gigantic animal had seized Madame L'Espanaye by the hair, (which was loose,
as she had been combing it,) and was flourishing the razor about her face, in imitation of the motions of a
barber. The daughter lay prostrate and motionless; she had swooned. The screams and struggles of the
old lady (during which the hair was torn from her head) had the effect of changing the probably pacific
purposes of the Ourang-Outang into those of wrath. With one determined sweep of its muscular arm it
nearly severed her head from her body. The sight of blood inflamed its anger into phrenzy. Gnashing its
teeth, and flashing fire from its eyes, it flew upon the body of the girl, and imbedded its fearful talons in
her throat, retaining its grasp until she expired. Its wandering and wild glances fell at this moment upon
the head of the bed, over which the face of its master, rigid with horror, was just discernible. The fury of
the beast, who no doubt bore still in mind the dreaded whip, was instantly converted into fear. Conscious
of having deserved punishment, it seemed desirous of concealing its bloody deeds, and skipped about the
chamber in an agony of nervous agitation; throwing down and breaking the furniture as it moved, and
dragging the bed from the bedstead. In conclusion, it seized first the corpse of the daughter, and thrust it
up the chimney, as it was found; then that of the old lady, which it immediately hurled through the
window headlong.
As the ape approached the casement with its mutilated burden, the sailor shrank aghast to the rod, and,
rather gliding than clambering down it, hurried at once home - dreading the consequences of the
butchery, and gladly abandoning, in his terror, all solicitude about the fate of the Ourang-Outang. The
words heard by the party upon the staircase were the Frenchman's exclamations of horror and affright,
commingled with the fiendish jabberings of the brute.
I have scarcely anything to add. The Ourang-Outang must have escaped from the chamber, by the rod,
just before the break of the door. It must have closed the window as it passed through it. It was
subsequently caught by the owner himself, who obtained for it a very large sum at the Jardin des Plantes.
Le Don was instantly released, upon our narration of the circumstances (with some comments from
Dupin) at the bureau of the Prefect of Police. This functionary, however well disposed to my friend, could
not altogether conceal his chagrin at the turn which affairs had taken, and was fain to indulge in a
sarcasm or two, about the propriety of every person minding his own business.
"Let him talk," said Dupin,, who had not thought it necessary to reply. "Let him discourse; it will ease his
conscience, I am satisfied with having defeated him in his own castle. Nevertheless, that he failed in the
solution of this mystery, is by no means that matter for wonder which he supposes it; for, in truth, our
friend the Prefect is somewhat too cunning to be profound. In his wisdom is no stamen. It is all head and
no body, like the pictures of the Goddess Laverna, -- or, at best, all head and shoulders, like a codfish. But
he is a good creature after all. I like him especially for one master stroke of cant, by which he has
attained his reputation for ingenuity. I mean the way he has ' de nier ce qui est, et d'expliquer ce qui n'est
pas. ' "
Es giebt eine Reihe ideal ische r Begebenheiten, die der Wirklichkeit parallel lauft. Selten fallen sie
zusammen. Menschen und zufalle modifieiren gewohulich die idealische Begebenheit, so dass sie
unvollkommen erscheint, und ihre Folgen gleichfalls unvollkommen sind. So bei der Reformation; statt
des Protestantismus kam das Lutherthum hervor.
There are ideal series of events which run parallel with the real ones. They rarely coincide. Men and
circumstances generally modify the ideal train of events, so that it seems imperfect, and its consequences
are equally imperfect. Thus with the Reformation; instead of Protestantism came Lutheranism. Novalis.
{*2} Moral Ansichten.
THERE are few persons, even among the calmest thinkers, who have not occasionally been startled into a
vague yet thrilling half-credence in the supernatural, by coincidences of so seemingly marvellous a
character that, as mere coincidences, the intellect has been unable to receive them. Such sentiments - for
the half-credences of which I speak have never the full force of thought - such sentiments are seldom
thoroughly stifled unless by reference to the doctrine of chance, or, as it is technically termed, the
Calculus ofProbabilities. Now this Calculus is, in its essence, purely mathematical; and thus we have the
anomaly of the most rigidly exact in science applied to the shadow and spirituality of the most intangible
in speculation.
The extraordinary details which I am now called upon to make public, will be found to form, as regards
sequence of time, the primary branch of a series of scarcely intelligible coincidences, whose secondary or
concluding branch will be recognized by all readers in the late murder of Mary Cecila Rogers, at New
York.
When, in an article entitled "The Murders in the Rue Morgue," I endeavored, about a year ago, to depict
some very remarkable features in the mental character of my friend, the Chevalier C. Auguste Dupin, it
did not occur to me that I should ever resume the subject. This depicting of character constituted my
design; and this design was thoroughly fulfilled in the wild train of circumstances brought to instance
Dupin's idiosyncrasy. I might have adduced other examples, but I should have proven no more. Late
events, however, in their surprising development, have startled me into some farther details, which will
carry with them the air of extorted confession. Hearing what I have lately heard, it would be indeed
strange should I remain silent in regard to what I both heard and saw so long ago.
Upon the winding up of the tragedy involved in the deaths of Madame L'Espanaye and her daughter, the
Chevalier dismissed the affair at once from his attention, and relapsed into his old habits of moody
reverie. Prone, at all times, to abstraction, I readily fell in with his humor; and, continuing to occupy our
chambers in the Faubourg Saint Germain, we gave the Future to the winds, and slumbered tranquilly in
the Present, weaving the dull world around us into dreams.
But these dreams were not altogether uninterrupted. It may readily be supposed that the part played by
my friend, in the drama at the Rue Morgue, had not failed of its impression upon the fancies of the
Parisian police. With its emissaries, the name of Dupin had grown into a household word. The simple
character of those inductions by which he had disentangled the mystery never having been explained
even to the Prefect, or to any other individual than myself, of course it is not surprising that the affair was
regarded as little less than miraculous, or that the Chevalier's analytical abilities acquired for him the
credit of intuition. His frankness would have led him to disabuse every inquirer of such prejudice; but his
indolent humor forbade all farther agitation of a topic whose interest to himself had long ceased. It thus
happened that he found himself the cynosure of the policial eyes; and the cases were not few in which
attempt was made to engage his services at the Prefecture. One of the most remarkable instances was
that of the murder of a young girl named Marie Rogêt.
This event occurred about two years after the atrocity in the Rue Morgue. Marie, whose Christian and
family name will at once arrest attention from their resemblance to those of the unfortunate "cigargirl,"
was the only daughter of the widow Estelle Rogêt. The father had died during the child's infancy, and
from the period of his death, until within eighteen months before the assassination which forms the
subject of our narrative, the mother and daughter had dwelt together in the Rue Pavée Saint Andrée;
{*3} Madame there keeping a pension, assisted by Marie. Affairs went on thus until the latter had
attained her twenty-second year, when her great beauty attracted the notice of a perfumer, who occupied
one of the shops in the basement of the Palais Royal, and whose custom lay chiefly among the desperate
adventurers infesting that neighborhood. Monsieur Le Blanc {*4} was not unaware of the advantages to
be derived from the attendance of the fair Marie in his perfumery; and his liberal proposals were
accepted eagerly by the girl, although with somewhat more of hesitation by Madame.
The anticipations of the shopkeeper were realized, and his rooms soon became notorious through the
charms of the sprightly grisette. She had been in his employ about a year, when her admirers were
thrown info confusion by her sudden disappearance from the shop. Monsieur Le Blanc was unable to
account for her absence, and Madame Rogêt was distracted with anxiety and terror. The public papers
immediately took up the theme, and the police were upon the point of making serious investigations,
when, one fine morning, after the lapse of a week, Marie, in good health, but with a somewhat saddened
air, made her re-appearance at her usual counter in the perfumery. All inquiry, except that of a private
character, was of course immediately hushed. Monsieur Le Blanc professed total ignorance, as before.
Marie, with Madame, replied to all questions, that the last week had been spent at the house of a relation
in the country. Thus the affair died away, and was generally forgotten; for the girl, ostensibly to relieve
herself from the impertinence of curiosity, soon bade a final adieu to the perfumer, and sought the shelter
of her mother's residence in the Rue Pavée Saint Andrée.
It was about five months after this return home, that her friends were alarmed by her sudden
disappearance for the second time. Three days elapsed, and nothing was heard of her. On the fourth her
corpse was found floating in the Seine, * near the shore which is opposite the Quartier of the Rue Saint
Andree, and at a point not very far distant from the secluded neighborhood of the Barrière du Roule. {*6}
The atrocity of this murder, (for it was at once evident that murder had been committed,) the youth and
beauty of the victim, and, above all, her previous notoriety, conspired to produce intense excitement in
the minds of the sensitive Parisians. I can call to mind no similar occurrence producing so general and so
intense an effect. For several weeks, in the discussion of this one absorbing theme, even the momentous
political topics of the day were forgotten. The Prefect made unusual exertions; and the powers of the
whole Parisian police were, of course, tasked to the utmost extent.
Upon the first discovery of the corpse, it was not supposed that the murderer would be able to elude, for
more than a very brief period, the inquisition which was immediately set on foot. It was not until the
expiration of a week that it was deemed necessary to offer a reward; and even then this reward was
limited to a thousand francs. In the mean time the investigation proceeded with vigor, if not always with
judgment, and numerous individuals were examined to no purpose; while, owing to the continual absence
of all clue to the mystery, the popular excitement greatly increased. At the end of the tenth day it was
thought advisable to double the sum originally proposed; and, at length, the second week having elapsed
without leading to any discoveries, and the prejudice which always exists in Paris against the Police
having given vent to itself in several serious émeutes, the Prefect took it upon himself to offer the sum of
twenty thousand francs "for the conviction of the assassin," or, if more than one should prove to have
been implicated, "for the conviction of any one of the assassins." In the proclamation setting forth this
reward, a full pardon was promised to any accomplice who should come forward in evidence against his
fellow; and to the whole was appended, wherever it appeared, the private placard of a committee of
citizens, offering ten thousand francs, in addition to the amount proposed by the Prefecture. The entire
reward thus stood at no less than thirty thousand francs, which will be regarded as an extraordinary sum
when we consider the humble condition of the girl, and the great frequency, in large cities, of such
atrocities as the one described.
No one doubted now that the mystery of this murder would be immediately brought to light. But
although, in one or two instances, arrests were made which promised elucidation, yet nothing was elicited
which could implicate the parties suspected; and they were discharged forthwith. Strange as it may
appear, the third week from the discovery of the body had passed, and passed without any light being
thrown upon the subject, before even a rumor of the events which had so agitated the public mind,
reached the ears of Dupin and myself. Engaged in researches which absorbed our whole attention, it had
been nearly a month since either of us had gone abroad, or received a visiter, or more than glanced at the
leading political articles in one of the daily papers. The first intelligence of the murder was brought us by
G ----, in person. He called upon us early in the afternoon of the thirteenth of July, 18--, and remained with
us until late in the night. He had been piqued by the failure of all his endeavors to ferret out the
assassins. His reputation - so he said with a peculiarly Parisian air - was at stake. Even his honor was
concerned. The eyes of the public were upon him; and there was really no sacrifice which he would not be
willing to make for the development of the mystery. He concluded a somewhat droll speech with a
compliment upon what he was pleased to term the tact of Dupin, and made him a direct, and certainly a
liberal proposition, the precise nature of which I do not feel myself at liberty to disclose, but which has no
bearing upon the proper subject of my narrative.
The compliment my friend rebutted as best he could, but the proposition he accepted at once, although its
advantages were altogether provisional. This point being settled, the Prefect broke forth at once into
explanations of his own views, interspersing them with long comments upon the evidence; of which latter
we were not yet in possession. He discoursed much, and beyond doubt, learnedly; while I hazarded an
occasional suggestion as the night wore drowsily away. Dupin, sitting steadily in his accustomed arm-
chair, was the embodiment of respectful attention. He wore spectacles, during the whole interview; and
an occasional signal glance beneath their green glasses, sufficed to convince me that he slept not the less
soundly, because silently, throughout the seven or eight leaden-footed hours which immediately preceded
the departure of the Prefect.
In the morning, I procured, at the Prefecture, a full report of all the evidence elicited, and, at the various
newspaper offices, a copy of every paper in which, from first to last, had been published any decisive
information in regard to this sad affair. Freed from all that was positively disproved, this mass of
information stood thus:
Marie Rogêt left the residence of her mother, in the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, about nine o'clock in the
morning of Sunday June the twenty-second, 18--. In going out, she gave notice to a Monsieur Jacques St.
Eustache, {*7} and to him only, of her intent intention to spend the day with an aunt who resided in the
Rue des Drômes. The Rue des Drômes is a short and narrow but populous thoroughfare, not far from the
banks of the river, and at a distance of some two miles, in the most direct course possible, from the
pension of Madame Rogêt. St. Eustache was the accepted suitor of Marie, and lodged, as well as took his
meals, at the pension. He was to have gone for his betrothed at dusk, and to have escorted her home. In
the afternoon, however, it came on to rain heavily; and, supposing that she would remain all night at her
aunt's, (as she had done under similar circumstances before,) he did not think it necessary to keep his
promise. As night drew on, Madame Rogêt (who was an infirm old lady, seventy years of age,) was heard
to express a fear "that she should never see Marie again;" but this observation attracted little attention at
the time.
On Monday, it was ascertained that the girl had not been to the Rue des Drômes; and when the day
elapsed without tidings of her, a tardy search was instituted at several points in the city, and its environs.
It was not, however until the fourth day from the period of disappearance that any thing satisfactory was
ascertained respecting her. On this day, (Wednesday, the twenty-fifth of June,) a Monsieur Beauvais, {*8}
who, with a friend, had been making inquiries for Marie near the Barrière du Roule, on the shore of the
Seine which is opposite the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, was informed that a corpse had just been towed ashore
by some fishermen, who had found it floating in the river. Upon seeing the body, Beauvais, after some
hesitation, identified it as that of the perfumery-girl. His friend recognized it more promptly.
The face was suffused with dark blood, some of which issued from the mouth. No foam was seen, as in the
case of the merely drowned. There was no discoloration in the cellular tissue. About the throat were
bruises and impressions of fingers. The arms were bent over on the chest and were rigid. The right hand
was clenched; the left partially open. On the left wrist were two circular excoriations, apparently the
effect of ropes, or of a rope in more than one volution. A part of the right wrist, also, was much chafed, as
well as the back throughout its extent, but more especially at the shoulder-blades. In bringing the body to
the shore the fishermen had attached to it a rope; but none of the excoriations had been effected by this.
The flesh of the neck was much swollen. There were no cuts apparent, or bruises which appeared the
effect of blows. A piece of lace was found tied so tightly around the neck as to be hidden from sight; it
was completely buried in the flesh, and was fasted by a knot which lay just under the left ear. This alone
would have sufficed to produce death. The medical testimony spoke confidently of the virtuous character
of the deceased. She had been subjected, it said, to brutal violence. The corpse was in such condition
when found, that there could have been no difficulty in its recognition by friends.
The dress was much torn and otherwise disordered. In the outer garment, a slip, about a foot wide, had
been torn upward from the bottom hem to the waist, but not torn off. It was wound three times around
the waist, and secured by a sort of hitch in the back. The dress immediately beneath the frock was of fine
muslin; and from this a slip eighteen inches wide had been torn entirely out - torn very evenly and with
great care. It was found around her neck, fitting loosely, and secured with a hard knot. Over this muslin
slip and the slip of lace, the strings of a bonnet were attached; the bonnet being appended. The knot by
which the strings of the bonnet were fastened, was not a lady's, but a slip or sailor's knot.
After the recognition of the corpse, it was not, as usual, taken to the Morgue, (this formality being
superfluous,) but hastily interred not far front the spot at which it was brought ashore. Through the
exertions of Beauvais, the matter was industriously hushed up, as far as possible; and several days had
elapsed before any public emotion resulted. A weekly paper, {*9} however, at length took up the theme;
the corpse was disinterred, and a re-examination instituted; but nothing was elicited beyond what has
been already noted. The clothes, however, were now submitted to the mother and friends of the deceased,
and fully identified as those worn by the girl upon leaving home.
Meantime, the excitement increased hourly. Several individuals were arrested and discharged. St.
Eustache fell especially under suspicion; and he failed, at first, to give an intelligible account of his
whereabouts during the Sunday on which Marie left home. Subsequently, however, he submitted to
Monsieur G----, affidavits, accounting satisfactorily for every hour of the day in question. As time passed
and no discovery ensued, a thousand contradictory rumors were circulated, and journalists busied
themselves in suggestions. Among these, the one which attracted the most notice, was the idea that
Marie Rogêt still lived - that the corpse found in the Seine was that of some other unfortunate. It will be
proper that I submit to the reader some passages which embody the suggestion alluded to. These
passages are literal translations from L'Etoile, {*10} a paper conducted, in general, with much ability.
"Mademoiselle Rogêt left her mother's house on Sunday morning, June the twenty-second, 18--, with the
ostensible purpose of going to see her aunt, or some other connexion, in the Rue des Drômes. From that
hour, nobody is proved to have seen her. There is no trace or tidings of her at all. . . . There has no person,
whatever, come forward, so far, who saw her at all, on that day, after she left her mother's door. . . . Now,
though we have no evidence that Marie Rogêt was in the land of the living after nine o'clock on Sunday,
June the twenty-second, we have proof that, up to that hour, she was alive. On Wednesday noon, at
twelve, a female body was discovered afloat on the shore of the Barrière de Roule. This was, even if we
presume that Marie Rogêt was thrown into the river within three hours after she left her mother's house,
only three days from the time she left her home - three days to an hour. But it is folly to suppose that the
murder, if murder was committed on her body, could have been consummated soon enough to have
enabled her murderers to throw the body into the river before midnight. Those who are guilty of such
horrid crimes, choose darkness rather the; light . . . . Thus we see that if the body found in the river was
that of Marie Rogêt, it could only have been in the water two and a half days, or three at the outside. All
experience has shown that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water immediately after death by
violence, require from six to ten days for decomposition to take place to bring them to the top of the
water. Even where a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises before at least five or six days' immersion,
it sinks again, if let alone. Now, we ask, what was there in this cave to cause a departure from the
ordinary course of nature? . . . If the body had been kept in its mangled state on shore until Tuesday
night, some trace would be found on shore of the murderers. It is a doubtful point, also, whether the body
would be so soon afloat, even were it thrown in after having been dead two days. And, furthermore, it is
exceedingly improbable that any villains who had committed such a murder as is here supposed, would
have throw the body in without weight to sink it, when such a precaution could have so easily been
taken."
The editor here proceeds to argue that the body must have been in the water "not three days merely, but,
at least, five times three days," because it was so far decomposed that Beauvais had great difficulty in
recognizing it. This latter point, however, was fully disproved. I continue the translation:
"What, then, are the facts on which M. Beauvais says that he has no doubt the body was that of Marie
Rogêt? He ripped up the gown sleeve, and says he found marks which satisfied him of the identity. The
public generally supposed those marks to have consisted of some description of scars. He rubbed the arm
and found hair upon it - something as indefinite, we think, as can readily be imagined - as little conclusive
as finding an arm in the sleeve. M. Beauvais did not return that night, but sent word to Madame Rogêt, at
seven o'clock, on Wednesday evening, that an investigation was still in progress respecting her daughter.
If we allow that Madame Rogêt, from her age and grief, could not go over, (which is allowing a great
deal,) there certainly must have been some one who would have thought it worth while to go over and
attend the investigation, if they thought the body was that of Marie. Nobody went over. There was nothing
said or heard about the matter in the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, that reached even the occupants of the same
building. M. St. Eustache, the lover and intended husband of Marie, who boarded in her mother's house,
deposes that he did not hear of the discovery of the body of his intended until the next morning, when M.
Beauvais came into his chamber and told him of it. For an item of news like this, it strikes us it was very
coolly received."
In this way the journal endeavored to create the impression of an apathy on the part of the relatives of
Marie, inconsistent with the supposition that these relatives believed the corpse to be hers. Its
insinuations amount to this: - that Marie, with the connivance of her friends, had absented herself from
the city for reasons involving a charge against her chastity; and that these friends, upon the discovery of
a corpse in the Seine, somewhat resembling that of the girl, had availed themselves of the opportunity to
impress press the public with the belief of her death. But L'Etoile was again over-hasty. It was distinctly
proved that no apathy, such as was imagined, existed; that the old lady was exceedingly feeble, and so
agitated as to be unable to attend to any duty, that St. Eustache, so far from receiving the news coolly,
was distracted with grief, and bore himself so frantically, that M. Beauvais prevailed upon a friend and
relative to take charge of him, and prevent his attending the examination at the disinterment. Moreover,
although it was stated by L'Etoile, that the corpse was re-interred at the public expense - that an
advantageous offer of private sculpture was absolutely declined by the family - and that no member of the
family attended the ceremonial: - although, I say, all this was asserted by L'Etoile in furtherance of the
impression it designed to convey - yet all this was satisfactorily disproved. In a subsequent number of the
paper, an attempt was made to throw suspicion upon Beauvais himself. The editor says:
"Now, then, a change comes over the matter. We are told that on one occasion, while a Madame B---- was
at Madame Rogêt's house, M. Beauvais, who was going out, told her that a gendarme was expected there,
and she, Madame B., must not say anything to the gendarme until he returned, but let the matter be for
him. . . . In the present posture of affairs, M. Beauvais appears to have the whole matter looked up in his
head. A single step cannot be taken without M. Beauvais; for, go which way you will, you run against him.
. . . For some reason, he determined that nobody shall have any thing to do with the proceedings but
himself, and he has elbowed the male relatives out of the way, according to their representations, in a
very singular manner. He seems to have been very much averse to permitting the relatives to see the
body."
By the following fact, some color was given to the suspicion thus thrown upon Beauvais. A visiter at his
office, a few days prior to the girl's disappearance, and during the absence of its occupant, had observed
a rose in the key-hole of the door, and the name "Marie" inscribed upon a slate which hung near at hand.
The general impression, so far as we were enabled to glean it from the newspapers, seemed to be, that
Marie had been the victim of a gang of desperadoes - that by these she had been borne across the river,
maltreated and murdered. Le Commerciel, {*11} however, a print of extensive influence, was earnest in
combating this popular idea. I quote a passage or two from its columns:
"We are persuaded that pursuit has hitherto been on a false scent, so far as it has been directed to the
Barrière du Roule. It is impossible that a person so well known to thousands as this young woman was,
should have passed three blocks without some one having seen her; and any one who saw her would have
remembered it, for she interested all who knew her. It was when the streets were full of people, when she
went out. . . . It is impossible that she could have gone to the Barrière du Roule, or to the Rue des
Drômes, without being recognized by a dozen persons; yet no one has come forward who saw her outside
of her mother's door, and there is no evidence, except the testimony concerning her expressed intentions,
that she did go out at all. Her gown was torn, bound round her, and tied; and by that the body was carried
as a bundle. If the murder had been committed at the Barrière du Roule, there would have been no
necessity for any such arrangement. The fact that the body was found floating near the Barrière, is no
proof as to where it was thrown into the water. . . . . A piece of one of the unfortunate girl's petticoats,
two feet long and one foot wide, was torn out and tied under her chin around the back of her head,
probably to prevent screams. This was done by fellows who had no pocket-handkerchief."
A day or two before the Prefect called upon us, however, some important information reached the police,
which seemed to overthrow, at least, the chief portion of Le Commerciel's argument. Two small boys, sons
of a Madame Deluc, while roaming among the woods near the Barrière du Roule, chanced to penetrate a
close thicket, within which were three or four large stones, forming a kind of seat, with a back and
footstool. On the upper stone lay a white petticoat; on the second a silk scarf. A parasol, gloves, and a
pocket-handkerchief were also here found. The handkerchief bore the name "Marie Rogêt." Fragments of
dress were discovered on the brambles around. The earth was trampled, the bushes were broken, and
there was every evidence of a struggle. Between the thicket and the river, the fences were found taken
down, and the ground bore evidence of some heavy burthen having been dragged along it.
A weekly paper, Le Soleil,{*12} had the following comments upon this discovery -- comments which
merely echoed the sentiment of the whole Parisian press:
"The things had all evidently been there at least three or four weeks; they were all mildewed down hard
with the action of the rain and stuck together from mildew. The grass had grown around and over some of
them. The silk on the parasol was strong, but the threads of it were run together within. The upper part,
where it had been doubled and folded, was all mildewed and rotten, and tore on its being opened. . . . .
The pieces of her frock torn out by the bushes were about three inches wide and six inches long. One part
was the hem of the frock, and it had been mended; the other piece was part of the skirt, not the hem.
They looked like strips torn off, and were on the thorn bush, about a foot from the ground. . . . . There can
be no doubt, therefore, that the spot of this appalling outrage has been discovered."
Consequent upon this discovery, new evidence appeared. Madame Deluc testified that she keeps a
roadside inn not far from the bank of the river, opposite the Barrière du Roule. The neighborhood is
secluded -- particularly so. It is the usual Sunday resort of blackguards from the city, who cross the river
in boats. About three o'clock, in the afternoon of the Sunday in question, a young girl arrived at the inn,
accompanied by a young man of dark complexion. The two remained here for some time. On their
departure, they took the road to some thick woods in the vicinity. Madame Deluc's attention was called to
the dress worn by the girl, on account of its resemblance to one worn by a deceased relative. A scarf was
particularly noticed. Soon after the departure of the couple, a gang of miscreants made their appearance,
behaved boisterously, ate and drank without making payment, followed in the route of the young man and
girl, returned to the inn about dusk, and re-crossed the river as if in great haste.
It was soon after dark, upon this same evening, that Madame Deluc, as well as her eldest son, heard the
screams of a female in the vicinity of the inn. The screams were violent but brief. Madame D. recognized
not only the scarf which was found in the thicket, but the dress which was discovered upon the corpse. An
omnibus driver, Valence, {*13} now also testified that he saw Marie Rogêt cross a ferry on the Seine, on
the Sunday in question, in company with a young man of dark complexion. He, Valence, knew Marie, and
could not be mistaken in her identity. The articles found in the thicket were fully identified by the
relatives of Marie.
The items of evidence and information thus collected by myself, from the newspapers, at the suggestion
of Dupin, embraced only one more point -- but this was a point of seemingly vast consequence. It appears
that, immediately after the discovery of the clothes as above described, the lifeless, or nearly lifeless body
of St. Eustache, Marie's betrothed, was found in the vicinity of what all now supposed the scene of the
outrage. A phial labelled "laudanum," and emptied, was found near him. His breath gave evidence of the
poison. He died without speaking. Upon his person was found a letter, briefly stating his love for Marie,
with his design of self- destruction.
"I need scarcely tell you," said Dupin, as he finished the perusal of my notes, "that this is a far more
intricate case than that of the Rue Morgue; from which it differs in one important respect. This is an
ordinary, although an atrocious instance of crime. There is nothing peculiarly outré about it. You will
observe that, for this reason, the mystery has been considered easy, when, for this reason, it should have
been considered difficult, of solution. Thus; at first, it was thought unnecessary to offer a reward. The
myrmidons of G--- were able at once to comprehend how and why such an atrocity might have been
committed. They could picture to their imaginations a mode - many modes - and a motive - many motives;
and because it was not impossible that either of these numerous modes and motives could have been the
actual one, they have taken it for granted that one of them must. But the case with which these variable
fancies were entertained, and the very plausibility which each assumed, should have been understood as
indicative rather of the difficulties than of the facilities which must attend elucidation. I have before
observed that it is by prominences above the plane of the ordinary, that reason feels her way, if at all, in
her search for the true, and that the proper question in cases such as this, is not so much 'what has
occurred?' as 'what has occurred that has never occurred before?' In the investigations at the house of
Madame L'Espanaye, {*14} the agents of G---- were discouraged and confounded by that very
unusualness which, to a properly regulated intellect, would have afforded the surest omen of success;
while this same intellect might have been plunged in despair at the ordinary character of all that met the
eye in the case of the perfumery-girl, and yet told of nothing but easy triumph to the functionaries of the
Prefecture.
"In the case of Madame L'Espanaye and her daughter there was, even at the beginning of our
investigation, no doubt that murder had been committed. The idea of suicide was excluded at once. Here,
too, we are freed, at the commencement, from all supposition of self- murder. The body found at the
Barrière du Roule, was found under such circumstances as to leave us no room for embarrassment upon
this important point. But it has been suggested that the corpsediscovered, is not that of the Marie Rogêt
for the conviction of whose assassin, or assassins, the reward is offered, and respecting whom, solely, our
agreement has been arranged with the Prefect. We both know this gentleman well. It will not do to trust
him too far. If, dating our inquiries from the body found, and thence tracing a murderer, we yet discover
this body to be that of some other individual than Marie; or, if starting from the living Marie, we find her,
yet find her unassassinated -- in either case we lose our labor; since it is Monsieur G---- with whom we
have to deal. For our own purpose, therefore, if not for the purpose of justice, it is indispensable that our
first step should be the determination of the identity of the corpse with the Marie Rogêt who is missing.
"With the public the arguments of L'Etoile have had weight; and that the journal itself is convinced of
their importance would appear from the manner in which it commences one of its essays upon the subject
- 'Several of the morning papers of the day,' it says, 'speak of the conclusive article in Monday's Etoile.' To
me, this article appears conclusive of little beyond the zeal of its inditer. We should bear in mind that, in
general, it is the object of our newspapers rather to create a sensation -- to make a point - than to further
the cause of truth. The latter end is only pursued when it seems coincident with the former. The print
which merely falls in with ordinary opinion (however well founded this opinion may be) earns for itself no
credit with the mob. The mass of the people regard as profound only him who suggests pungent
contradictions of the general idea. In ratiocination, not less than in literature, it is the epigram which is
the most immediately and the most universally appreciated. In both, it is of the lowest order of merit.
"What I mean to say is, that it is the mingled epigram and melodrame of the idea, that Marie Rogêt still
lives, rather than any true plausibility in this idea, which have suggested it to L'Etoile, and secured it a
favorable reception with the public. Let us examine the heads of this journal's argument; endeavoring to
avoid theincoherence with which it is originally set forth.
"The first aim of the writer is to show, from the brevity of the interval between Marie's disappearance and
the finding of the floating corpse, that this corpse cannot be that of Marie. The reduction of this interval
to its smallest possible dimension, becomes thus, at once, an object with the reasoner. In the rash pursuit
of this object, he rushes into mere assumption at the outset. 'It is folly to suppose,' he says, 'that the
murder, if murder was committed on her body, could have been consummated soon enough to have
enabled her murderers to throw the body into the river before midnight.' We demand at once, and very
naturally, why? Why is it folly to suppose that the murder was committed within five minutes after the
girl's quitting her mother's house? Why is it folly to suppose that the murder was committed at any given
period of the day? There have been assassinations at all hours. But, had the murder taken place at any
moment between nine o'clock in the morning of Sunday, and a quarter before midnight, there would still
have been time enough ''to throw the body into the river before midnight.' This assumption, then,
amounts precisely to this - that the murder was not committed on Sunday at all - and, if we allow L'Etoile
to assume this, we may permit it any liberties whatever. The paragraph beginning 'It is folly to suppose
that the murder, etc.,' however it appears as printed in L'Etoile, may be imagined to have existed actually
thus in the brain of its inditer - 'It is folly to suppose that the murder, if murder was committed on the
body, could have been committed soon enough to have enabled her murderers to throw the body into the
river before midnight; it is folly, we say, to suppose all this, and to suppose at the same time, (as we are
resolved to suppose,) that the body was not thrown in until after midnight' -- a sentence sufficiently
inconsequential in itself, but not so utterly preposterous as the one printed.
"Were it my purpose," continued Dupin, "merely to make out a case against this passage of L'Etoile's
argument, I might safely leave it where it is. It is not, however, with L'Etoile that we have to do, but with
the truth. The sentence in question has but one meaning, as it stands; and this meaning I have fairly
stated: but it is material that we go behind the mere words, for an idea which these words have obviously
intended, and failed to convey. It was the design of the journalist to say that, at whatever period of the
day or night of Sunday this murder was committed, it was improbable that the assassins would have
ventured to bear the corpse to the river before midnight. And herein lies, really, the assumption of which I
complain. It is assumed that the murder was committed at such a position, and under such circumstances,
that the bearing it to the river became necessary. Now, the assassination might have taken place upon the
river's brink, or on the river itself; and, thus, the throwing the corpse in the water might have been
resorted to, at any period of the day or night, as the most obvious and most immediate mode of disposal.
You will understand that I suggest nothing here as probable, or as cöincident with my own opinion. My
design, so far, has no reference to the facts of the case. I wish merely to caution you against the whole
tone of L'Etoile's suggestion, by calling your attention to its ex parte character at the outset.
"Having prescribed thus a limit to suit its own preconceived notions; having assumed that, if this were the
body of Marie, it could have been in the water but a very brief time; the journal goes on to say:
'All experience has shown that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water immediately after death
by violence, require from six to ten days for sufficient decomposition to take place to bring them to the
top of the water. Even when a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises before at least five or six days'
immersion, it sinks again if let alone.'
"These assertions have been tacitly received by every paper in Paris, with the exception of Le Moniteur.
{*15} This latter print endeavors to combat that portion of the paragraph which has reference to
'drowned bodies' only, by citing some five or six instances in which the bodies of individuals known to be
drowned were found floating after the lapse of less time than is insisted upon by L'Etoile. But there is
something excessively unphilosophical in the attempt on the part of Le Moniteur, to rebut the general
assertion of L'Etoile, by a citation of particular instances militating against that assertion. Had it been
possible to adduce fifty instead of five examples of bodies found floating at the end of two or three days,
these fifty examples could still have been properly regarded only as exceptions to L'Etoile's rule, until
such time as the rule itself should be confuted. Admitting the rule, (and this Le Moniteur does not deny,
insisting merely upon its exceptions,) the argument of L'Etoile is suffered to remain in full force; for this
argument does not pretend to involve more than a question of the probability of the body having risen to
the surface in less than three days; and this probability will be in favor of L'Etoile's position until the
instances so childishly adduced shall be sufficient in number to establish an antagonistical rule.
"You will see at once that all argument upon this head should be urged, if at all, against the rule itself;
and for this end we must examine the rationale of the rule. Now the human body, in general, is neither
much lighter nor much heavier than the water of the Seine; that is to say, the specific gravity of the
human body, in its natural condition, is about equal to the bulk of fresh water which it displaces. The
bodies of fat and fleshy persons, with small bones, and of women generally, are lighter than those of the
lean and large-boned, and of men; and the specific gravity of the water of a river is somewhat influenced
by the presence of the tide from sea. But, leaving this tide out of question, it may be said that very few
human bodies will sink at all, even in fresh water, of their own accord. Almost any one, falling into a river,
will be enabled to float, if he suffer the specific gravity of the water fairly to be adduced in comparison
with his own - that is to say, if he suffer his whole person to be immersed, with as little exception as
possible. The proper position for one who cannot swim, is the upright position of the walker on land, with
the head thrown fully back, and immersed; the mouth and nostrils alone remaining above the surface.
Thus circumstanced, we shall find that we float without difficulty and without exertion. It is evident,
however, that the gravities of the body, and of the bulk of water displaced, are very nicely balanced, and
that a trifle will cause either to preponderate. An arm, for instance, uplifted from the water, and thus
deprived of its support, is an additional weight sufficient to immerse the whole head, while the accidental
aid of the smallest piece of timber will enable us to elevate the head so as to look about. Now, in the
struggles of one unused to swimming, the arms are invariably thrown upwards, while an attempt is made
to keep the head in its usual perpendicular position. The result is the immersion of the mouth and
nostrils, and the inception, during efforts to breathe while beneath the surface, of water into the lungs.
Much is also received into the stomach, and the whole body becomes heavier by the difference between
the weight of the air originally distending these cavities, and that of the fluid which now fills them. This
difference is sufficient to cause the body to sink, as a general rule; but is insufficient in the cases of
individuals with small bones and an abnormal quantity of flaccid or fatty matter. Such individuals float
even after drowning.
"The corpse, being. supposed at the bottom of the river, will there remain until, by some means, its
specific gravity again becomes less than that of the bulk of water which it displaces. This effect is brought
about by decomposition, or otherwise. The result of decomposition is the generation of gas, distending
the cellular tissues and all the cavities, and giving the puffedappearance which is to horrible. When this
distension has so far progressed that the bulk of the corpse is materially increased with. out a
corresponding increase of mass or weight, its specific gravity becomes less than that of the water
displaced, and it forthwith makes its appearance at the surface. But decomposition is modified by
innumerablecircumstances - is hastened or retarded by innumerable agencies; for example, by the heat
or cold of the season, by the mineralimpregnation or purity of the water, by its depth or shallowness, by
its currency or stagnation, by the temperament of the body, by its infection or freedom from disease
before death. Thus it is evident that we can assign no period, with any thing like accuracy, at which the
corpse shall rise through decomposition. Under certain conditions this result would be brought about
within an hour; under others, it might not take place at all. There are chemical infusions by which the
animal frame can be preserved foreverfrom corruption; the Bi-chloride of Mercury is one. But, apart from
decomposition, there may be, and very usually is, a generation of gas within the stomach, from the
acetous fermentation of vegetable matter (or within other cavities from other causes) sufficient to induce
a distension which will bring the body to the surface. The effect produced by the firing of a cannon is that
of simple vibration. This may either loosen the corpse from the soft mud or ooze in which it is imbedded,
thus permitting it to rise when other agencies have already prepared it for so doing; or it may overcome
the tenacity of some putrescent portions of the cellular tissue; allowing the cavities to distend under the
influence of the gas.
"Having thus before us the whole philosophy of this subject, we can easily test by it the assertions of
L'Etoile. 'All experience shows,' says this paper, 'that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water
immediately after death by violence, require from six to ten days for sufficient decomposition to take
place to bring them to the top of the water. Even when a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises before
at least five or six days' immersion, it sinks again if let alone.'
"The whole of this paragraph must now appear a tissue ofinconsequence and incoherence. All
experience does not show that 'drowned bodies' require from six to ten days for sufficient decomposition
to take place to bring them to the surface. Both science and experience show that the period of their
rising is, and necessarily must be, indeterminate. If, moreover, a body has risen to the surface through
firing of cannon, it will not 'sink again if let alone,' until decomposition has so far progressed as to permit
the escape of the generated gas. But I wish to call your attention to the distinction which is made
between 'drowned bodies,' and 'bodies thrown into the water immediately after death by violence.'
Although the writer admits the distinction, he yet includes them all in the same category. I have shown
how it is that the body of a drowning man becomes specifically heavier than its bulk of water, and that he
would not sink at all, except for the struggles by which he elevates his arms above the surface, and his
gasps for breath while beneath the surface - gasps which supply by water the place of the original air in
the lungs. But these struggles and these gasps would not occur in the body 'thrown into the water
immediately after death by violence.' Thus, in the latter instance, the body, as a general rule, would not
sink at all - a fact of which L'Etoile is evidently ignorant. When decomposition had proceeded to a very
great extent - when the flesh had in a great measure left the bones - then, indeed, but not till then, should
we lose sight of the corpse.
"And now what are we to make of the argument, that the body found could not be that of Marie Rogêt,
because, three days only having elapsed, this body was found floating? If drowned, being a woman, she
might never have sunk; or having sunk, might have reappeared in twenty-four hours, or less. But no one
supposes her to have been drowned; and, dying before being thrown into the river, she might have been
found floating at any period afterwards whatever.
" 'But,' says L'Etoile, 'if the body had been kept in its mangled state on shore until Tuesday night, some
trace would be found on shore of the murderers.' Here it is at first difficult to perceive the intention of the
reasoner. He means to anticipate what he imagines would be an objection to his theory - viz: that the body
was kept on shore two days, suffering rapid decomposition - morerapid than if immersed in water. He
supposes that, had this been the case, it might have appeared at the surface on the Wednesday, and
thinks that only under such circumstances it could so have appeared. He is accordingly in haste to show
that it was not kept on shore; for, if so, 'some trace would be found on shore of the murderers.' I presume
you smile at the sequitur. You cannot be made to see how the mere duration of the corpse on the shore
could operate to multiply traces of the assassins. Nor can I.
" 'And furthermore it is exceedingly improbable,' continues our journal, 'that any villains who had
committed such a murder as is here supposed, would have thrown the body in without weight to sink it,
when such a precaution could have so easily been taken.' Observe, here, the laughable confusion of
thought! No one - not even L'Etoile - disputes the murder committed on the body found . The marks of
violence are too obvious. It is our reasoner's object merely to show that this body is not Marie's. He
wishes to prove that Marie is not assassinated - not that the corpse was not. Yet his observation proves
only the latter point. Here is a corpse without weight attached. Murderers, casting it in, would not have
failed to attach a weight. Therefore it was not thrown in by murderers. This is all which is proved, if any
thing is. The question of identity is not even approached, and L'Etoile has been at great pains merely to
gainsay now what it has admitted only a moment before. 'We are perfectly convinced,' it says, 'that the
body found was that of a murdered female.'
"Nor is this the sole instance, even in this division of his subject, where our reasoner unwittingly reasons
against himself. His evident object, I have already said, is to reduce, us much as possible, the interval
between Marie's disappearance and the finding of the corpse. Yet we find him urging the point that no
person saw the girl from the moment of her leaving her mother's house. 'We have no evidence,' he says,
'that Marie Rogêt was in the land of the living after nine o'clock on Sunday, June the twenty-second.' As
his argument is obviously an ex parte one, he should, at least, have left this matter out of sight; for had
any one been known to see Marie, say on Monday, or on Tuesday, the interval in question would have
been much reduced, and, by his own ratiocination, the probability much diminished of the corpse being
that of the grisette. It is, nevertheless, amusing to observe that L'Etoile insists upon its point in the full
belief of its furthering its general argument.
"Reperuse now that portion of this argument which has reference to the identification of the corpse by
Beauvais. In regard to the hair upon the arm, L'Etoile has been obviously disingenuous. M. Beauvais, not
being an idiot, could never have urged, in identification of the corpse, simply hair upon its arm. No arm is
without hair. The generality of the expression of L'Etoile is a mere perversion of the witness' phraseology.
He must have spoken of some peculiarity in this hair. It must have been a peculiarity of color, of quantity,
of length, or of situation.
" 'Her foot,' says the journal, 'was small - so are thousands of feet. Her garter is no proof whatever - nor is
her shoe - for shoes and garters are sold in packages. The same may be said of the flowers in her hat. One
thing upon which M. Beauvais strongly insists is, that the clasp on the garter found, had been set back to
take it in. This amounts to nothing; for most women find it proper to take a pair of garters home and fit
them to the size of the limbs they are to encircle, rather than to try them in the store where they
purchase.' Here it is difficult to suppose the reasoner in earnest. Had M. Beauvais, in his search for the
body of Marie, discovered a corpse corresponding in general size and appearance to the missing girl, he
would have been warranted (without reference to the question of habiliment at all) in forming an opinion
that his search had been successful. If, in addition to the point of general size and contour, he had found
upon the arm a peculiar hairy appearance which he had observed upon the living Marie, his opinion might
have been justly strengthened; and the increase of positiveness might well have been in the ratio of the
peculiarity, or unusualness, of the hairy mark. If, the feet of Marie being small, those of the corpse were
also small, the increase of probability that the body was that of Marie would not be an increase in a ratio
merely arithmetical, but in one highly geometrical, or accumulative. Add to all this shoes such as she had
been known to wear upon the day of her disappearance, and, although these shoes may be 'sold in
packages,' you so far augment the probability as to verge upon the certain. What, of itself, would be no
evidence of identity, becomes through its corroborative position, proof most sure. Give us, then, flowers in
the hat corresponding to those worn by the missing girl, and we seek for nothing farther. If only one
flower, we seek for nothing farther - what then if two or three, or more? Each successive one is multiple
evidence - proof not added to proof, but multiplied by hundreds or thousands. Let us now discover, upon
the deceased, garters such as the living used, and it is almost folly to proceed. But these garters are
found to be tightened, by the setting back of a clasp, in just such a manner as her own had been tightened
by Marie, shortly previous to her leaving home. It is now madness or hypocrisy to doubt. What L'Etoile
says in respect to this abbreviation of the garter's being an usual occurrence, shows nothing beyond its
own pertinacity in error. The elastic nature of the clasp-garter is self-demonstration of the unusualness of
the abbreviation. What is made to adjust itself, must of necessity require foreign adjustment but rarely. It
must have been by an accident, in its strictest sense, that these garters of Marie needed the tightening
described. They alone would have amply established her identity. But it is not that the corpse was found
to have the garters of the missing girl, or found to have her shoes, or her bonnet, or the flowers of her
bonnet, or her feet, or a peculiar mark upon the arm, or her general size and appearance - it is that the
corpse had each, and all collectively . Could it be proved that the editor of L'Etoile really entertained a
doubt, under the circumstances, there would be no need, in his case, of a commission de lunatico
inquirendo. He has thought it sagacious to echo the small talk of the lawyers, who, for the most part,
content themselves with echoing the rectangular precepts of the courts. I would here observe that very
much of what is rejected as evidence by a court, is the best of evidence to the intellect. For the court,
guiding itself by the general principles of evidence - the recognized and booked principles - is averse from
swerving at particular instances. And this steadfast adherence to principle, with rigorous disregard of the
conflicting exception, is a sure mode of attaining the maximum of attainable truth, in any long sequence
of time. The practice, in mass, is therefore philosophical; but it is not the less certain that it engenders
vast individual error. {*16}
"In respect to the insinuations levelled at Beauvais, you will be willing to dismiss them in a breath. You
have already fathomed the true character of this good gentleman. He is a busy-body, with much of
romance and little of wit. Any one so constituted will readily so conduct himself, upon occasion of real
excitement, as to render himself liable to suspicion on the part of the over acute, or the ill- disposed. M.
Beauvais (as it appears from your notes) had some personal interviews with the editor of L'Etoile, and
offended him by venturing an opinion that the corpse, notwithstanding the theory of the editor, was, in
sober fact, that of Marie. 'He persists,' says the paper, 'in asserting the corpse to be that of Marie, but
cannot give a circumstance, in addition to those which we have commented upon, to make others believe.'
Now, without re-adverting to the fact that stronger evidence 'to make others believe,' could never have
been adduced, it may be remarked that a man may very well be understood to believe, in a case of this
kind, without the ability to advance a single reason for the belief of a second party. Nothing is more vague
than impressions of individual identity. Each man recognizes his neighbor, yet there are few instances in
which any one is prepared to give a reason for his recognition. The editor of L'Etoile had no right to be
offended at M. Beauvais' unreasoning belief.
"The suspicious circumstances which invest him, will be found to tally much better with my hypothesis of
romantic busy-bodyism, than with the reasoner's suggestion of guilt. Once adopting the more charitable
interpretation, we shall find no difficulty incomprehending the rose in the key-hole; the 'Marie' upon the
slate; the 'elbowing the male relatives out of the way;' the 'aversion to permitting them to see the body;'
the caution given to Madame B----, that she must hold no conversation with the gendarmeuntil his return
(Beauvais'); and, lastly, his apparent determination 'that nobody should have anything to do with the
proceedings except himself.' It seems to me unquestionable that Beauvais was a suitor of Marie's; that
she coquetted with him; and that he was ambitious of being thought to enjoy her fullest intimacy and
confidence. I shall say nothing more upon this point; and, as the evidence fully rebuts the assertion of
L'Etoile, touching the matter of apathy on the part of the mother and other relatives - an apathy
inconsistent with the supposition of their believing the corpse to be that of the perfumery- girl - we shall
now proceed as if the question of identity were settled to our perfect satisfaction."
"And what," I here demanded, "do you think of the opinions of Le Commerciel?"
"That, in spirit, they are far more worthy of attention than any which have been promulgated upon the
subject. The deductions from the premises are philosophical and acute; but the premises, in two
instances, at least, are founded in imperfect observation. Le Commerciel wishes to intimate that Marie
was seized by some gang of low ruffians not far from her mother's door. 'It is impossible,' it urges, 'that a
person so well known to thousands as this young woman was, should have passed three blocks without
some one having seen her.' This is the idea of a man long resident in Paris - a public man - and one whose
walks to and fro in the city, have been mostly limited to the vicinity of the public offices. He is aware that
he seldom passes so far as a dozen blocks from his own bureau, without being recognized and accosted.
And, knowing the extent of his personal acquaintance with others, and of others with him, he compares
his notoriety with that of the perfumery-girl, finds no great difference between them, and reaches at once
the conclusion that she, in her walks, would be equally liable to recognition with himself in his. This could
only be the case were her walks of the same unvarying, methodical character, and within the same
species of limited region as are his own. He passes to and fro, at regular intervals, within a confined
periphery, abounding in individuals who are led to observation of his person through interest in the
kindred nature of his occupation with their own. But the walks of Marie may, in general, be supposed
discursive. In this particular instance, it will be understood as most probable, that she proceeded upon a
route of more than average diversity from her accustomed ones. The parallel which we imagine to have
existed in the mind of Le Commerciel would only be sustained in the event of the two individuals'
traversing the whole city. In this case, granting the personal acquaintances to be equal, the chances
would be also equal that an equal number of personal rencounters would be made. For my own part, I
should hold it not only as possible, but as very far more than probable, that Marie might have proceeded,
at any given period, by any one of the many routes between her own residence and that of her aunt,
without meeting a single individual whom she knew, or by whom she was known. In viewing this question
in its full and proper light, we must hold steadily in mind the great disproportion between the personal
acquaintances of even the most noted individual in Paris, and the entire population of Paris itself.
"But whatever force there may still appear to be in the suggestion of Le Commerciel, will be much
diminished when we take intoconsideration the hour at which the girl went abroad. 'It was when the
streets were full of people,' says Le Commerciel, 'that she went out.' But not so. It was at nine o'clock in
the morning. Now at nine o'clock of every morning in the week, with the exception of Sunday , the streets
of the city are, it is true, thronged with people. At nine on Sunday, the populace are chiefly within doors
preparing for church . No observing person can have failed to notice the peculiarly deserted air of the
town, from about eight until ten on the morning of every Sabbath. Between ten and eleven the streets are
thronged, but not at so early a period as that designated.
"There is another point at which there seems a deficiency of observation on the part of Le Commerciel. 'A
piece,' it says, 'of one of the unfortunate girl's petticoats, two feet long, and one foot wide, was torn out
and tied under her chin, and around the back of her head, probably to prevent screams. This was done, by
fellows who had no pocket-handkerchiefs.' Whether this idea is, or is not well founded, we will endeavor
to see hereafter; but by 'fellows who have no pocket-handkerchiefs' the editor intends the lowest class of
ruffians. These, however, are the very description of people who will always be found to have
handkerchiefs even when destitute of shirts. You must have had occasion to observe how absolutely
indispensable, of late years, to the thorough blackguard, has become thepocket-handkerchief."
"That it is a vast pity its inditer was not born a parrot - in which case he would have been the most
illustrious parrot of his race. He has merely repeated the individual items of the already published
opinion; collecting them, with a laudable industry, from this paper and from that. 'The things had all
evidently been there,' he says,'at least, three or four weeks, and there can be no doubt that the spot of
this appalling outrage has been discovered.' The facts here re-stated by Le Soleil, are very far indeed
from removing my own doubts upon this subject, and we will examine them more particularly hereafter in
connexion with another division of the theme.
"At present we must occupy ourselves with other investigations You cannot fail to have remarked the
extreme laxity of the examination of the corpse. To be sure, the question of identity was readily
determined, or should have been; but there were other points to be ascertained. Had the body been in
any respect despoiled? Had the deceased any articles of jewelry about her person upon leaving home? if
so, had she any when found? These are important questions utterly untouched by the evidence; and there
are others of equal moment, which have met with no attention. We must endeavor to satisfy ourselves by
personal inquiry. The case of St. Eustache must be re-examined. I have no suspicion of this person; but let
us proceed methodically. We will ascertain beyond a doubt the validity of the affidavits in regard to his
whereabouts on the Sunday. Affidavits of this character are readily made matter of mystification. Should
there be nothing wrong here, however, we will dismiss St. Eustache from our investigations. His suicide,
however corroborative of suspicion, were there found to be deceit in the affidavits, is, without such
deceit, in no respect an unaccountable circumstance, or one which need cause us to deflect from the line
of ordinary analysis.
"In that which I now propose, we will discard the interior points of this tragedy, and concentrate our
attention upon its outskirts. Not the least usual error, in investigations such as this, is the limiting of
inquiry to the immediate, with total disregard of the collateral or circumstantial events. It is the mal-
practice of the courts to confine evidence and discussion to the bounds of apparent relevancy. Yet
experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of
truth, arises from the seemingly irrelevant. It is through the spirit of this principle, if not precisely
through its letter, that modern science has resolved to calculate upon the unforeseen. But perhaps you do
not comprehend me. The history of human knowledge has so uninterruptedly shown that to collateral, or
incidental, or accidental events we are indebted for the most numerous and most valuable discoveries,
that it has at length become necessary, in any prospective view ofimprovement, to make not only large,
but the largest allowances for inventions that shall arise by chance, and quite out of the range of ordinary
expectation. It is no longer philosophical to base, upon what has been, a vision of what is to be. Accident
is admitted as a portion of the substructure. We make chance a matter of absolute calculation. We subject
the unlooked for and unimagined, to the mathematical formulae of the schools.
"I repeat that it is no more than fact, that the larger portion of all truth has sprung from the collateral;
and it is but in accordance with the spirit of the principle involved in this fact, that I would divert inquiry,
in the present case, from the trodden and hitherto unfruitful ground of the event itself, to the
contemporarycircumstances which surround it. While you ascertain the validity of the affidavits, I will
examine the newspapers more generally than you have as yet done. So far, we have only reconnoitred the
field of investigation; but it will be strange indeed if a comprehensive survey, such as I propose, of the
public prints, will not afford us some minute points which shall establish a direction for inquiry."
In pursuance of Dupin's suggestion, I made scrupulous examination of the affair of the affidavits. The
result was a firm conviction of their validity, and of the consequent innocence of St. Eustache. In the
mean time my friend occupied himself, with what seemed to me a minuteness altogether objectless, in a
scrutiny of the various newspaper files. At the end of a week he placed before me the following extracts:
"About three years and a half ago, a disturbance very similar to the present, was caused by the
disappearance of this same Marie Rogêt, from the parfumerie of Monsieur Le Blanc, in the Palais Royal.
At the end of a week, however, she re-appeared at her customary comptoir, as well as ever, with the
exception of a slight paleness not altogether usual. It was given out by Monsieur Le Blanc and her
mother, that she had merely been on a visit to some friend in the country; and the affair was speedily
hushed up. We presume that the present absence is a freak of the same nature, and that, at the expiration
of a week, or perhaps of a month, we shall have her among us again." - Evening Paper - Monday June 23.
{*17}
"An evening journal of yesterday, refers to a former mysterious disappearance of Mademoiselle Rogêt. It
is well known that, during the week of her absence from Le Blanc's parfumerie, she was in the company
of a young naval officer, much noted for his debaucheries. A quarrel, it is supposed, providentially led to
her return home. We have the name of the Lothario in question, who is, at present, stationed in Paris, but,
for obvious reasons, forbear to make it public." - Le Mercurie - Tuesday Morning, June 24. {*18}
"An outrage of the most atrocious character was perpetrated near this city the day before yesterday. A
gentleman, with his wife and daughter, engaged, about dusk, the services of six young men, who were idly
rowing a boat to and fro near the banks of the Seine, to convey him across the river. Upon reaching the
opposite shore, the three passengers stepped out, and had proceeded so far as to be beyond the view of
the boat, when the daughter discovered that she had left in it her parasol. She returned for it, was seized
by the gang, carried out into the stream, gagged, brutally treated, and finally taken to the shore at a point
not far from that at which she had originally entered the boat with her parents. The villains have escaped
for the time, but the police are upon their trail, and some of them will soon be taken." - Morning Paper -
June 25. {*19}
"We have received one or two communications, the object of which is to fasten the crime of the late
atrocity upon Mennais; {*20} but as this gentleman has been fully exonerated by a loyal inquiry, and as
the arguments of our several correspondents appear to be more zealous than profound, we do not think it
advisable to make them public." - Morning Paper - June 28. {*21}
"We have received several forcibly written communications, apparently from various sources, and which
go far to render it a matter of certainty that the unfortunate Marie Rogêt has become a victim of one of
the numerous bands of blackguards which infest the vicinity of the city upon Sunday. Our own opinion is
decidedly in favor of this supposition. We shall endeavor to make room for some of these arguments
hereafter." - Evening Paper - Tuesday, June 31. {*22}
"On Monday, one of the bargemen connected with the revenue service, saw a empty boat floating down
the Seine. Sails were lying in the bottom of the boat. The bargeman towed it under the barge office. The
next morning it was taken from thence, without the knowledge of any of the officers. The rudder is now at
the barge office." - Le Diligence - Thursday, June 26. §
Upon reading these various extracts, they not only seemed to me irrelevant, but I could perceive no mode
in which any one of them could be brought to bear upon the matter in hand. I waited for some explanation
from Dupin.
"It is not my present design," he said, "to dwell upon the first and second of those extracts. I have copied
them chiefly to show you the extreme remissness of the police, who, as far as I can understand from the
Prefect, have not troubled themselves, in any respect, with an examination of the naval officer alluded to.
Yet it is mere folly to say that between the first and second disappearance of Marie, there is no
supposable connection. Let us admit the first elopement to have resulted in a quarrel between the lovers,
and the return home of the betrayed. We are now prepared to view a second elopement (if we know that
an elopement has again taken place) as indicating a renewal of the betrayer's advances, rather than as
the result of new proposals by a second individual - we are prepared to regard it as a 'making up' of the
old amour, rather than as the commencement of a new one. The chances are ten to one, that he who had
once eloped with Marie, would again propose an elopement, rather than that she to whom proposals of
elopement had been made by one individual, should have them made to her by another. And here let me
call your attention to the fact, that the time elapsing between the first ascertained, and the second
supposed elopement, is a few months more than the general period of the cruises of our men-of-war. Had
the lover been interrupted in his first villany by the necessity of departure to sea, and had he seized the
first moment of his return to renew the base designs not yet altogether accomplished - or not yet
altogether accomplished by him? Of all these things we know nothing.
"You will say, however, that, in the second instance, there was no elopement as imagined. Certainly not -
but are we prepared to say that there was not the frustrated design? Beyond St. Eustache, and perhaps
Beauvais, we find no recognized, no open, no honorable suitors of Marie. Of none other is there any thing
said. Who, then, is the secret lover, of whom the relatives (at least most of them) know nothing, but whom
Marie meets upon the morning of Sunday, and who is so deeply in her confidence, that she hesitates not
to remain with him until the shades of the evening descend, amid the solitary groves of the Barrière du
Roule? Who is that secret lover, I ask, of whom, at least, most of the relatives know nothing? And what
means the singular prophecy of Madame Rogêt on the morning of Marie's departure? -- 'I fear that I shall
never see Marie again.'
"But if we cannot imagine Madame Rogêt privy to the design of elopement, may we not at least suppose
this design entertained by the girl? Upon quitting home, she gave it to be understood that she was about
to visit her aunt in the Rue des Drômes and St. Eustache was requested to call for her at dark. Now, at
first glance, this fact strongly militates against my suggestion; - but let us reflect. That she did meet some
companion, and proceed with him across the river, reaching the Barrière du Roule at so late an hour as
three o'clock in the afternoon, is known. But in consenting so to accompany this individual, ( for whatever
purpose -- to her mother known or unknown, ) she must have thought of her expressed intention when
leaving home, and of the surprise and suspicion aroused in the bosom of her affianced suitor, St.
Eustache, when, calling for her, at the hour appointed, in the Rue des Drômes, he should find that she had
not been there, and when, moreover, upon returning to the pension with this alarming intelligence, he
should become aware of her continued absence from home. She must have thought of these things, I say.
She must have foreseen the chagrin of St. Eustache, the suspicion of all. She could not have thought of
returning to brave this suspicion; but the suspicion becomes a point of trivial importance to her, if we
suppose her not intending to return.
"We may imagine her thinking thus - 'I am to meet a certain person for the purpose of elopement, or for
certain other purposes known only to myself. It is necessary that there be no chance ofinterruption -
there must be sufficient time given us to elude pursuit - I will give it to be understood that I shall visit and
spend the day with my aunt at the Rue des Drômes - I well tell St. Eustache not to call for me until dark -
in this way, my absence from home for the longest possible period, without causing suspicion or anxiety,
will be accounted for, and I shall gain more time than in any other manner. If I bid St. Eustache call for
me at dark, he will be sure not to call before; but, if I wholly neglect to bid him call, my time for escape
will be diminished, since it will be expected that I return the earlier, and my absence will the sooner
excite anxiety. Now, if it were my design to return at all - if I had incontemplation merely a stroll with the
individual in question - it would not be my policy to bid St. Eustache call; for, calling, he will be sure to
ascertain that I have played him false - a fact of which I might keep him for ever in ignorance, by leaving
home without notifying him of my intention, by returning before dark, and by then stating that I had been
to visit my aunt in the Rue des Drômes. But, as it is my design never to return - or not for some weeks - or
not until certain concealments are effected - the gaining of time is the only point about which I need give
myself any concern.'
"You have observed, in your notes, that the most general opinion in relation to this sad affair is, and was
from the first, that the girl had been the victim of a gang of blackguards. Now, the popular opinion, under
certain conditions, is not to be disregarded. When arising of itself -- when manifesting itself in a strictly
spontaneous manner -- we should look upon it as analogous with that intuition which is the idiosyncrasy
of the individual man of genius. In ninety-nine cases from the hundred I would abide by its decision. But it
is important that we find no palpable traces of suggestion . The opinion must be rigorously the public's
own ; and the distinction is often exceedingly difficult to perceive and to maintain. In the present
instance, it appears to me that this 'public opinion' in respect to a gang, has been superinduced by the
collateral event which is detailed in the third of my extracts. All Paris is excited by the discovered corpse
of Marie, a girl young, beautiful and notorious. This corpse is found, bearing marks of violence, and
floating in the river. But it is now made known that, at the very period, or about the very period, in which
it is supposed that the girl was assassinated, an outrage similar in nature to that endured by the
deceased, although less in extent, was perpetuated, by a gang of young ruffians, upon the person of a
second young female. Is it wonderful that the one known atrocity should influence the popular judgment
in regard to the other unknown? This judgment awaited direction, and the known outrage seemed so
opportunely to afford it! Marie, too, was found in the river; and upon this very river was this known
outrage committed. The connexion of the two events had about it so much of the palpable, that the true
wonder would have been a failure of the populace to appreciate and to seize it. But, in fact, the one
atrocity, known to be so committed, is, if any thing, evidence that the other, committed at a time nearly
coincident, was not so committed. It would have been a miracle indeed, if, while a gang of ruffians were
perpetrating, at a given locality, a most unheard-of wrong, there should have been another similar gang,
in a similar locality, in the same city, under the same circumstances, with the same means and appliances,
engaged in a wrong of precisely the same aspect, at precisely the same period of time! Yet in what, if not
in this marvellous train of coincidence, does the accidentally suggested opinion of the populace call upon
us to believe?
"Before proceeding farther, let us consider the supposed scene of the assassination, in the thicket at the
Barrière du Roule. This thicket, although dense, was in the close vicinity of a public road. Within were
three or four large stones, forming a kind of seat with a back and footstool. On the upper stone was
discovered a white petticoat; on the second, a silk scarf. A parasol, gloves, and apocket-handkerchief,
were also here found. The handkerchief bore the name, 'Marie Rogêt.' Fragments of dress were seen on
the branches around. The earth was trampled, the bushes were broken, and there was every evidence of a
violent struggle.
"Notwithstanding the acclamation with which the discovery of this thicket was received by the press, and
the unanimity with which it was supposed to indicate the precise scene of the outrage, it must be
admitted that there was some very good reason for doubt. That it was the scene, I may or I may not
believe - but there was excellent reason for doubt. Had the true scene been, as Le Commerciel suggested,
in the neighborhood of the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, the perpetrators of the crime, supposing them still
resident in Paris, would naturally have been stricken with terror at the public attention thus acutely
directed into the proper channel; and, in certain classes of minds, there would have arisen, at once, a
sense of the necessity of some exertion to redivert this attention. And thus, the thicket of the Barrière du
Roule having been already suspected, the idea of placing the articles where they were found, might have
been naturally entertained. There is no real evidence, although Le Soleil so supposes, that the articles
discovered had been more than a very few days in the thicket; while there is much circumstantial proof
that they could not have remained there, without attracting attention, during the twenty days elapsing
between the fatal Sunday and the afternoon upon which they were found by the boys. 'They were all
mildewed down hard,' says Le Soleil, adopting the opinions of its predecessors, 'with the action of the
rain, and stuck together from mildew . The grass had grown around and over some of them. The silk of
the parasol was strong, but the threads of it were run together within. The upper part, where it bad been
doubled and folded, was all mildewed and rotten, and tore on being opened.' In respect to the grass
having '.grown around and over some of them,' it is obvious that the fact could only have been
ascertained from the words, and thus from the recollections, of two small boys; for these boys removed
the articles and took them home before they had been seen by a third party. But grass will grow,
especially in warm and damp weather, (such as was that of the period of the murder,) as much as two or
three inches in a single day. A parasol lying upon a newly turfed ground, might, in a single week, be
entirely concealed from sight by the upspringing grass. And touching that mildew upon which the editor
of Le Soleil so pertinaciously insists, that he employs the word no less than three times in the brief
paragraph just quoted, is be really unaware of the nature of this mildew? Is he to be told that it is one of
the many classes of fungus, of which the most ordinary feature is its upspringing and decadence within
twenty-four hours?
"Thus we see, at a glance, that what has been most triumphantly adduced in support of the idea that the
articles bad been 'for at least three or four weeks' in the thicket, is most absurdly null as regards any
evidence of that fact. On the other hand, it is exceedingly difficult to believe that these articles could have
remained in the thicket specified, for a longer period than a single week - for a longer period than from
one Sunday to the next. Those who know any thing of the vicinity of Paris, know the extreme difficulty of
finding seclusion unless at a great distance from its suburbs. Such a thing as an unexplored, or even an
unfrequently visited recess, amid its woods or groves, is not for a moment to be imagined. Let any one
who, being at heart a lover of nature, is yet chained by duty to the dust and heat of this great metropolis -
let any such one attempt, even during the weekdays, to slake his thirst for solitude amid the scenes of
natural loveliness which immediately surround us. At every second step, he will find the growing charm
dispelled by the voice and personal intrusion of some ruffian or party of carousing blackguards. He will
seek privacy amid the densest foliage, all in vain. Here are the very nooks where the unwashed most
abound - here are the temples most desecrate. With sickness of the heart the wanderer will flee back to
the polluted Paris as to a less odious because less incongruous sink of pollution. But if the vicinity of the
city is so beset during the working days of the week, how much more so on the Sabbath! It is now
especially that, released from the claims of labor, or deprived of the customary opportunities of crime, the
town blackguard seeks the precincts of the town, not through love of the rural, which in his heart he
despises, but by way of escape from the restraints and conventionalities of society. He desires less the
fresh air and the green trees, than the utter license of the country. Here, at the road-side inn, or beneath
the foliage of the woods, he indulges, unchecked by any eye except those of his boon companions, in all
the mad excess of a counterfeit hilarity - the joint offspring of liberty and of rum. I say nothing more than
what must be obvious to every dispassionate observer, when I repeat that the circumstance of the articles
in question having remained undiscovered, for a longer period - than from one Sunday to another, in any
thicket in the immediate neighborhood of Paris, is to be looked upon as little less than miraculous.
"But there are not wanting other grounds for the suspicion that the articles were placed in the thicket
with the view of diverting attention from the real scene of the outrage. And, first, let me direct your
notice to the date of the discovery of the articles. Collate this with the date of the fifth extract made by
myself from the newspapers. You will find that the discovery followed, almost immediately, the urgent
communications sent to the evening paper. These communications, although various and apparently from
various sources, tended all to the same point - viz., the directing of attention to a gang as the perpetrators
of the outrage, and to the neighborhood of the Barrière du Roule as its scene. Now here, of course, the
suspicion is not that, in consequence of thesecommunications, or of the public attention by them
directed, the articles were found by the boys; but the suspicion might and may well have been, that the
articles were not before found by the boys, for the reason that the articles had not before been in the
thicket; having been deposited there only at so late a period as at the date, or shortly prior to the date of
the communications by the guilty authors of these communications themselves.
"This thicket was a singular - an exceedingly singular one. It was unusually dense. Within its naturally
walled enclosure were three extraordinary stones, forming a seat with a back and footstool. And this
thicket, so full of a natural art, was in the immediate vicinity, within a few rods, of the dwelling of
Madame Deluc, whose boys were in the habit of closely examining the shrubberies about them in search
of the bark of the sassafras. Would it be a rash wager - a wager of one thousand to one -- that a day never
passed over the heads of these boys without finding at least one of them ensconced in the umbrageous
hall, and enthroned upon its natural throne? Those who would hesitate at such a wager, have either never
been boys themselves, or have forgotten the boyish nature. I repeat -- it is exceedingly hard to
comprehend how the articles could have remained in this thicket undiscovered, for a longer period than
one or two days; and that thus there is good ground for suspicion, in spite of the dogmatic ignorance of Le
Soleil, that they were, at acomparatively late date, deposited where found.
"But there are still other and stronger reasons for believing them so deposited, than any which I have as
yet urged. And, now, let me beg your notice to the highly artificial arrangement of the articles. On the
upper stone lay a white petticoat; on the second a silk scarf; scattered around, were a parasol, gloves, and
a pocket-handkerchief bearing the name, 'Marie Rogêt.' Here is just such an arrangement as would
naturally be made by a not over-acute person wishing to dispose the articles naturally. But it is by no
means a really natural arrangement. I should rather have looked to see the things all lying on the ground
and trampled under foot. In the narrow limits of that bower, it would have been scarcely possible that the
petticoat and scarf should have retained a position upon the stones, when subjected to the brushing to
and fro of many struggling persons. 'There was evidence,' it is said, 'of a struggle; and the earth was
trampled, the bushes were broken,' - but the petticoat and the scarf are found deposited as if upon
shelves. 'The pieces of the frock torn out by the bushes were about three inches wide and six inches long.
One part was the hem of the frock and it had been mended. They looked like strips torn off.' Here,
inadvertently, Le Soleil has employed an exceedingly suspicious phrase. The pieces, as described, do
indeed 'look like strips torn off;' but purposely and by hand. It is one of the rarest of accidents that a
piece is 'torn off,' from any garment such as is now in question, by the agency of a thorn. From the very
nature of such fabrics, a thorn or nail becoming entangled in them, tears them rectangularly - divides
them into two longitudinal rents, at right angles with each other, and meeting at an apex where the thorn
enters - but it is scarcely possible to conceive the piece 'torn off.' I never so knew it, nor did you. To tear a
piece off from such fabric, two distinct forces, in different directions, will be, in almost every case,
required. If there be two edges to the fabric - if, for example, it be a pocket- handkerchief, and it is
desired to tear from it a slip, then, and then only, will the one force serve the purpose. But in the present
case the question is of a dress, presenting but one edge. To tear a piece from the interior, where no edge
is presented, could only be effected by a miracle through the agency of thorns, and no one thorn could
accomplish it. But, even where an edge is presented, two thorns will be necessary, operating, the one in
two distinct directions, and the other in one. And this in the supposition that the edge is unhemmed. If
hemmed, the matter is nearly out of the question. We thus see the numerous and great obstacles in the
way of pieces being 'torn off' through the simple agency of 'thorns;' yet we are required to believe not
only that one piece but that many have been so torn. 'And one part,' too, 'was the hem of the frock!'
Another piece was 'part of the skirt, not the hem,' - that is to say, was torn completely out through the
agency of thorns, from the uncaged interior of the dress! These, I say, are things which one may well be
pardoned for disbelieving; yet, taken collectedly, they form, perhaps, less of reasonable ground for
suspicion, than the one startling circumstance of the articles' having been left in this thicket at all, by any
murderers who had enough precaution to think of removing the corpse. You will not have apprehended
me rightly, however, if you suppose it my design to deny this thicket as the scene of the outrage. There
might have been a wrong here, or, more possibly, an accident at Madame Deluc's. But, in fact, this is a
point of minor importance. We are not engaged in an attempt to discover the scene, but to produce the
perpetrators of the murder. What I have adduced, notwithstanding the minuteness with which I have
adduced it, has been with the view, first, to show the folly of the positive and headlong assertions of Le
Soleil, but secondly and chiefly, to bring you, by the most natural route, to a further contemplation of the
doubt whether this assassination has, or has not been, the work of a gang.
"We will resume this question by mere allusion to the revolting details of the surgeon examined at the
inquest. It is only necessary to say that is published inferences, in regard to the number of ruffians, have
been properly ridiculed as unjust and totally baseless, by all the reputable anatomists of Paris. Not that
the matter might not have been as inferred, but that there was no ground for the inference: - was there
not much for another?
"Let us reflect now upon 'the traces of a struggle;' and let me ask what these traces have been supposed
to demonstrate. A gang. But do they not rather demonstrate the absence of a gang? What struggle could
have taken place - what struggle so violent and so enduring as to have left its 'traces' in all directions -
between a weak and defenceless girl and the gang of ruffians imagined? The silent grasp of a few rough
arms and all would have been over. The victim must have been absolutely passive at their will. You will
here bear in mind that the arguments urged against the thicket as the scene, are applicable in chief part,
only against it as the scene of an outrage committed by more than a single individual. If we imagine but
one violator, we can conceive, and thus only conceive, the struggle of so violent and so obstinate a nature
as to have left the 'traces' apparent.
"And again. I have already mentioned the suspicion to be excited by the fact that the articles in question
were suffered to remain at all in the thicket where discovered. It seems almost impossible that these
evidences of guilt should have been accidentally left where found. There was sufficient presence of mind
(it is supposed) to remove the corpse; and yet a more positive evidence than the corpse itself (whose
features might have been quickly obliterated by decay,) is allowed to lie conspicuously in the scene of the
outrage - I allude to the handkerchief with the name of the deceased. If this was accident, it was not the
accident of a gang. We can imagine it only the accident of an individual. Let us see. An individual has
committed the murder. He is alone with the ghost of the departed. He is appalled by what lies motionless
before him. The fury of his passion is over, and there is abundant room in his heart for the natural awe of
the deed. His is none of that confidence which the presence of numbers inevitably inspires. He is alone
with the dead. He trembles and is bewildered. Yet there is a necessity for disposing of the corpse. He
bears it to the river, but leaves behind him the other evidences of guilt; for it is difficult, if not impossible
to carry all the burthen at once, and it will be easy to return for what is left. But in his toilsome journey to
the water his fears redouble within him. The sounds of life encompass his path. A dozen times he hears or
fancies the step of an observer. Even the very lights from the city bewilder him. Yet, in time and by long
and frequent pauses of deep agony, he reaches the river's brink, and disposes of his ghastly charge -
perhaps through the medium of a boat. But now what treasure does the world hold - what threat of
vengeance could it hold out - which would have power to urge the return of that lonely murderer over
that toilsome and perilous path, to the thicket and its blood chilling recollections? He returns not, let the
consequences be what they may. He could not return if he would. His sole thought is immediate escape.
He turns his back forever upon those dreadful shrubberies and flees as from the wrath to come.
"But how with a gang? Their number would have inspired them with confidence; if, indeed confidence is
ever wanting in the breast of the arrant blackguard; and of arrant blackguards alone are the supposed
gangs ever constituted. Their number, I say, would have prevented the bewildering and unreasoning
terror which I have imagined to paralyze the single man. Could we suppose an oversight in one, or two, or
three, this oversight would have been remedied by a fourth. They would have left nothing behind them;
for their number would have enabled them to carry all at once. There would have been no need of return.
"Consider now the circumstance that in the outer garment of the corpse when found, 'a slip, about a foot
wide had been torn upward from the bottom hem to the waist wound three times round the waist, and
secured by a sort of hitch in the back.' This was done with the obvious design of affording a handle by
which to carry the body. But would any number of men hare dreamed of resorting to such an expedient?
To three or four, the limbs of the corpse would have afforded not only a sufficient, but the best possible
hold. The device is that of a single individual; and this brings us to the fact that 'between the thicket and
the river, the rails of the fences were found taken down, and the ground bore evident traces of some
heavy burden having been dragged along it!' But would a number of men have put themselves to the
superfluous trouble of taking down a fence, for the purpose of dragging through it a corpse which they
might have lifted over any fence in an instant? Would a number of men have so dragged a corpse at all as
to have left evident traces of the dragging?
"And here we must refer to an observation of Le Commerciel; an observation upon which I have already,
in some measure, commented. 'A piece,' says this journal, 'of one of the unfortunate girl's petticoats was
torn out and tied under her chin, and around the back of her head, probably to prevent screams. This was
done by fellows who had no pocket-handkerchiefs.'
"I have before suggested that a genuine blackguard is never without a pocket-handkerchief. But it is not
to this fact that I now especially advert. That it was not through want of a handkerchief for the purpose
imagined by Le Commerciel, that this bandage was employed, is rendered apparent by the handkerchief
left in the thicket; and that the object was not 'to prevent screams' appears, also, from the bandage
having been employed in preference to what would so much better have answered the purpose. But the
language of the evidence speaks of the strip in question as 'found around the neck, fitting loosely, and
secured with a hard knot.' These words are sufficiently vague, but differ materially from those of Le
Commerciel. The slip was eighteen inches wide, and therefore, although of muslin, would form a strong
band when folded or rumpled longitudinally. And thus rumpled it was discovered. My inference is this.
The solitary murderer, having borne the corpse, for some distance, (whether from the thicket or
elsewhere) by means of the bandage hitched around its middle, found the weight, in this mode of
procedure, too much for his strength. He resolved to drag the burthen - the evidence goes to show that it
wasdragged. With this object in view, it became necessary to attach something like a rope to one of the
extremities. It could be best attached about the neck, where the head would prevent its slipping off. And,
now, the murderer bethought him, unquestionably, of the bandage about the loins. He would have used
this, but for its volution about the corpse, the hitch which embarrassed it, and the reflection that it had
not been 'torn off' from the garment. It was easier to tear a new slip from the petticoat. He tore it, made it
fast about the neck, and so dragged his victim to the brink of the river. That this 'bandage,' only
attainable with trouble and delay, and but imperfectly answering its purpose - that this bandage was
employed at all, demonstrates that the necessity for its employment sprang from circumstances arising at
a period when the handkerchief was no longer attainable -- that is to say, arising, as we have imagined,
after quitting the thicket, (if the thicket it was), and on the road between the thicket and the river.
"But the evidence, you will say, of Madame Deluc, (!) points especially to the presence of a gang, in the
vicinity of the thicket, at or about the epoch of the murder. This I grant. I doubt if there were not a dozen
gangs, such as described by Madame Deluc, in and about the vicinity of the Barrière du Roule at or about
the period of this tragedy. But the gang which has drawn upon itself the pointed animadversion, although
the somewhat tardy and very suspicious evidence of Madame Deluc, is the only gang which is represented
by that honest and scrupulous old lady as having eaten her cakes and swallowed her brandy, without
putting themselves to the trouble of making her payment. Et hinc illae irae?
"But what is the precise evidence of Madame Deluc? 'A gang of miscreants made their appearance,
behaved boisterously, ate and drank without making payment, followed in the route of the young man and
girl, returned to the inn about dusk, and recrossed the river as if in great haste.'
"Now this 'great haste' very possibly seemed greater haste in the eyes of Madame Deluc, since she dwelt
lingeringly and lamentingly upon her violated cakes and ale - cakes and ale for which she might still have
entertained a faint hope of compensation. Why, otherwise, since it was about dusk, should she make a
point of the haste? It is no cause for wonder, surely, that even a gang of blackguards should make haste to
get home, when a wide river is to be crossed in small boats, when storm impends, and when night
approaches.
"I say approaches; for the night had not yet arrived. It was only about dusk that the indecent haste of
these 'miscreants' offended the sober eyes of Madame Deluc. But we are told that it was upon this very
evening that Madame Deluc, as well as her eldest son, 'heard the screams of a female in the vicinity of the
inn.' And in what words does Madame Deluc designate the period of the evening at which these screams
were heard? 'It was soon after dark,' she says. But 'soon after dark,' is, at least, dark; and'about dusk' is
as certainly daylight. Thus it is abundantly clear that the gang quitted the Barrière du Roule prior to the
screams overheard (?) by Madame Deluc. And although, in all the many reports of the evidence, the
relative expressions in question are distinctly and invariably employed just as I have employed them in
this conversation with yourself, no notice whatever of the gross discrepancy has, as yet, been taken by
any of the public journals, or by any of the Myrmidons of police.
"I shall add but one to the arguments against a gang; but this one has, to my own understanding at least,
a weight altogetherirresistible. Under the circumstances of large reward offered, and full pardon to any
King's evidence, it is not to be imagined, for a moment, that some member of a gang of low ruffians, or of
any body of men, would not long ago have betrayed his accomplices. Each one of a gang so placed, is not
so much greedy of reward, or anxious for escape, as fearful of betrayal. He betrays eagerly and early that
he may not himself be betrayed. That the secret has not been divulged, is the very best of proof that it is,
in fact, a secret. The horrors of this dark deed are known only to one, or two, living human beings, and to
God.
"Let us sum up now the meagre yet certain fruits of our long analysis. We have attained the idea either of
a fatal accident under the roof of Madame Deluc, or of a murder perpetrated, in the thicket at the
Barrière du Roule, by a lover, or at least by an intimate and secret associate of the deceased. This
associate is of swarthy complexion. This complexion, the 'hitch' in the bandage, and the 'sailor's knot,'
with which the bonnet-ribbon is tied, point to a seaman. His companionship with the deceased, a gay, but
not an abject young girl, designates him as above the grade of the common sailor. Here the well written
and urgent communications to the journals are much in the way of corroboration. The circumstance of the
first elopement, as mentioned by Le Mercurie, tends to blend the idea of this seaman with that of the
'naval officer' who is first known to have led the unfortunate into crime.
"And here, most fitly, comes the consideration of the continued absence of him of the dark complexion.
Let me pause to observe that the complexion of this man is dark and swarthy; it was no common
swarthiness which constituted the sole point of remembrance, both as regards Valence and Madame
Deluc. But why is this man absent? Was he murdered by the gang? If so, why are there only traces of the
assassinated girl? The scene of the two outrages will naturally be supposed identical. And where is his
corpse? The assassins would most probably have disposed of both in the same way. But it may be said that
this man lives, and is deterred from making himself known, through dread of being charged with the
murder. This consideration might be supposed to operate upon him now - at this late period - since it has
been given in evidence that he was seen with Marie - but it would have had no force at the period of the
deed. The first impulse of an innocent man would have been to announce the outrage, and to aid in
identifying the ruffians. This policy would have suggested. He had been seen with the girl. He had
crossed the river with her in an open ferry-boat. The denouncing of the assassins would have appeared,
even to an idiot, the surest and sole means of relieving himself from suspicion. We cannot suppose him,
on the night of the fatal Sunday, both innocent himself and incognizant of an outrage committed. Yet only
under such circumstances is it possible to imagine that he would have failed, if alive, in the
denouncement of the assassins.
"And what means are ours, of attaining the truth? We shall find these means multiplying and gathering
distinctness as we proceed. Let us sift to the bottom this affair of the first elopement. Let us know the full
history of 'the officer,' with his present circumstances, and his whereabouts at the precise period of the
murder. Let us carefully compare with each other the various communications sent to the evening paper,
in which the object was to inculpate a gang. This done, let us compare these communications, both as
regards style and MS., with those sent to the morning paper, at a previous period, and insisting so
vehemently upon the guilt of Mennais. And, all this done, let us again compare these various
communications with the known MSS. of the officer. Let us endeavor to ascertain, by repeated
questionings of Madame Deluc and her boys, as well as of the omnibus driver, Valence, something more of
the personal appearance and bearing of the 'man of dark complexion.' Queries, skilfully directed, will not
fail to elicit, from some of these parties, information on this particular point (or upon others) - information
which the parties themselves may not even be aware of possessing. And let us now trace the boatpicked
up by the bargeman on the morning of Monday the twenty-third of June, and which was removed from
thebarge-office, without the cognizance of the officer in attendance, and without the rudder, at some
period prior to the discovery of the corpse. With a proper caution and perseverance we shall infallibly
trace this boat; for not only can the bargeman who picked it up identify it, but the rudder is at hand. The
rudder of a sail-boat would not have been abandoned, without inquiry, by one altogether at ease in heart.
And here let me pause to insinuate a question. There was no advertisement of the picking up of this boat.
It was silently taken to the barge-office, and as silently removed. But its owner or employer - how
happened he, at so early a period as Tuesday morning, to be informed, without the agency of
advertisement, of the locality of the boat taken up on Monday, unless we imagine some connexion with
the navy - some personal permanent connexion leading to cognizance of its minute in interests - its petty
local news?
"In speaking of the lonely assassin dragging his burden to the shore, I have already suggested the
probability of his availing himself of a boat. Now we are to understand that Marie Rogêt was precipitated
from a boat. This would naturally have been the case. The corpse could not have been trusted to the
shallow waters of the shore. The peculiar marks on the back and shoulders of the victim tell of the bottom
ribs of a boat. That the body was found without weight is alsocorroborative of the idea. If thrown from
the shore a weight would have been attached. We can only account for its absence by supposing the
murderer to have neglected the precaution of supplying himself with it before pushing off. In the act of
consigning the corpse to the water, he would unquestionably have noticed his oversight; but then no
remedy would have been at hand. Any risk would have been preferred to a return to that accursed shore.
Having rid himself of his ghastly charge, the murderer would have hastened to the city. There, at some
obscure wharf, he would have leaped on land. But the boat - would he have secured it? He would have
been in too great haste for such things as securing a boat. Moreover, in fastening it to the wharf, he
would have felt as if securing evidence against himself. His natural thought would have been to cast from
him, as far as possible, all that had held connection with his crime. He would not only have fled from the
wharf, but he would not have permitted the boat to remain. Assuredly he would have cast it adrift. Let us
pursue our fancies. - In the morning, the wretch is stricken with unutterable horror at finding that the
boat has been picked up and detained at a locality which he is in the daily habit of frequenting - at a
locality, perhaps, which his duty compels him to frequent. The next night, without daring to ask for the
rudder, he removes it. Now where is that rudderless boat? Let it be one of our first purposes to discover.
With the first glimpse we obtain of it, the dawn of our success shall begin. This boat shall guide us, with a
rapidity which will surprise even ourselves, to him who employed it in the midnight of the fatal Sabbath.
Corroboration will rise upon corroboration, and the murderer will be traced."
[For reasons which we shall not specify, but which to many readers will appear obvious, we have taken
the liberty of here omitting, from the MSS. placed in our hands, such portion as details the following up of
the apparently slight clew obtained by Dupin. We feel it advisable only to state, in brief, that the result
desired was brought to pass; and that the Prefect fulfilled punctually, although with reluctance, the terms
of his compact with the Chevalier. Mr. Poe's article concludes with the following words. - Eds. {*23}]
It will be understood that I speak of coincidences and no more. What I have said above upon this topic
must suffice. In my own heart there dwells no faith in praeter-nature. That Nature and its God are two, no
man who thinks, will deny. That the latter, creating the former, can, at will, control or modify it, is also
unquestionable. I say "at will;" for the question is of will, and not, as the insanity of logic has assumed, of
power. It is not that the Deity cannot modify his laws, but that we insult him in imagining a possible
necessity for modification. In their origin these laws were fashioned to embrace all contingencies which
could lie in the Future. With God all is Now.
I repeat, then, that I speak of these things only as of coincidences. And farther: in what I relate it will be
seen that between the fate of the unhappy Mary Cecilia Rogers, so far as that fate is known, and the fate
of one Marie Rogêt up to a certain epoch in her history, there has existed a parallel in the contemplation
of whose wonderful exactitude the reason becomes embarrassed. I say all this will be seen. But let it not
for a moment be supposed that, in proceeding with the sad narrative of Marie from the epoch just
mentioned, and in tracing to its dénouement the mystery which enshrouded her, it is my covert design to
hint at an extension of the parallel, or even to suggest that the measures adopted in Paris for the
discovery of the assassin of a grisette, or measures founded in any similarratiocination, would produce
any similar result.
For, in respect to the latter branch of the supposition, it should be considered that the most trifling
variation in the facts of the two cases might give rise to the most important miscalculations, by diverting
thoroughly the two courses of events; very much as, in arithmetic, an error which, in its own individuality,
may be inappreciable, produces, at length, by dint of multiplication at all points of the process, a result
enormously at variance with truth. And, in regard to the former branch, we must not fail to hold in view
that the very Calculus of Probabilities to which I have referred, forbids all idea of the extension of the
parallel: - forbids it with a positiveness strong and decided just in proportion as this parallel has already
been long-drawn and exact. This is one of those anomalous propositions which, seemingly appealing to
thought altogether apart from the mathematical, is yet one which only the mathematician can fully
entertain. Nothing, for example, is more difficult than to convince the merely general reader that the fact
of sixes having been thrown twice in succession by a player at dice, is sufficient cause for betting the
largest odds that sixes will not be thrown in the third attempt. A suggestion to this effect is usually
rejected by the intellect at once. It does not appear that the two throws which have been completed, and
which lie now absolutely in the Past, can have influence upon the throw which exists only in the Future.
The chance for throwing sixes seems to be precisely as it was at any ordinary time - that is to say, subject
only to the influence of the various other throws which may be made by the dice. And this is a reflection
which appears so exceedingly obvious that attempts to controvert it are received more frequently with a
derisive smile than with anything like respectful attention. The error here involved - a gross error
redolent of mischief - I cannot pretend to expose within the limits assigned me at present; and with the
philosophical it needs no exposure. It may be sufficient here to say that it forms one of an infinite series of
mistakes which arise in the path or Reason through her propensity for seeking truth in detail.
FOOTNOTES--Marie Rogêt
{*1} Upon the original publication of "Marie Roget," the foot-notes now appended were considered
unnecessary; but the lapse of several years since the tragedy upon which the tale is based, renders it
expedient to give them, and also to say a few words in explanation of the general design. A young girl,
Mary Cecilia Rogers, was murdered in the vicinity of New York; and, although her death occasioned an
intense and long-enduring excitement, the mystery attending it had remained unsolved at the period
when the present paper was written and published (November, 1842). Herein, under pretence of relating
the fate of a Parisian grisette, the author has followed in minute detail, the essential, while merely
paralleling the inessential facts of the real murder of Mary Rogers. Thus all argument founded upon the
fiction is applicable to the truth: and the investigation of the truth was the object. The "Mystery of Marie
Roget" was composed at a distance from the scene of the atrocity, and with no other means of
investigation than the newspapers afforded. Thus much escaped the writer of which he could have availed
himself had he been upon the spot, and visited the localities. It may not be improper to record,
nevertheless, that the confessions of two persons, (one of them the Madame Deluc of the narrative) made,
at different periods, long subsequent to the publication, confirmed, in full, not only the general
conclusion, but absolutely all the chief hypothetical details by which that conclusion was attained.
{*4} Anderson.
{*6} Weehawken.
{*7} Payne.
{*8} Crommelin.
(*10} The New York "Brother Jonathan," edited by H. Hastings Weld, Esq.
{*13} Adam
{*16} "A theory based on the qualities of an object, will prevent its being unfolded according to its
objects; and he who arranges topics in reference to their causes, will cease to value them according to
their results. Thus the jurisprudence of every nation will show that, when law becomes a science and a
system, it ceases to be justice. The errors into which a blind devotion to principles of classification has led
the common law, will be seen by observing how often the legislature has been obliged to come forward to
restore the equity its scheme had lost." - Landor.
{*20} Mennais was one of the parties originally suspected and arrested, but discharged through total
lack of evidence.
Slid, if these be your "passados" and "montantes," I'll have none o' them. -- NED KNOWLES
THE BARON RITZNER VON JUNG was a noble Hungarian family, every member of which (at least as far
back into antiquity as any certain records extend) was more or less remarkable for talent of some
d escription -- the majority for that species of grotesquerie in conception of which Tieck, a scion of the
house, has given a vivid, although by no means the most vivid exemplifications. My acquaintance with
Ritzner commenced at the magnificent Chateau Jung, into which a train of droll adventures, not to be
made public, threw a place in his regard, and here, with somewhat more difficulty, a partial insight into
his mental conformation. In later days this insight grew more clear, as the intimacy which had at first
permitted it became more close; and when, after three years of the character of the Baron Ritzner von
Jung.
I remember the buzz of curiosity which his advent excited within the college precincts on the night of the
twenty-fifth of June. I remember still more distinctly, that while he was pronounced by all parties at first
sight "the most remarkable man in the world," no person made any attempt at accounting for his opinion.
That he was unique appeared so undeniable, that it was deemed impertinent to inquire wherein the
uniquity consisted. But, letting this matter pass for the present, I will merely observe that, from the first
moment of his setting foot within the limits of the university, he began to exercise over the habits,
manners, persons, purses, and propensities of the whole community which surrounded him, an influence
the most extensive and despotic, yet at the same time the most indefinite and altogether unaccountable.
Thus the brief period of his residence at the university forms an era in its annals, and is characterized by
all classes of people appertaining to it or its dependencies as "that very extraordinary epoch forming the
domination of the Baron Ritzner von Jung." then of no particular age, by which I mean that it was
impossible to form a guess respecting his age by any data personally afforded. He might have been fifteen
or fifty, and was twenty-one years and seven months. He was by no means a handsome man -- perhaps the
reverse. The contour of his face was somewhat angular and harsh. His forehead was lofty and very fair;
his nose a snub; his eyes large, heavy, glassy, and meaningless. About the mouth there was more to be
observed. The lips were gently protruded, and rested the one upon the other, after such a fashion that it is
impossible to conceive any, even the most complex, combination of human features, conveying so entirely,
and so singly, the idea of unmitigated gravity, solemnity and repose.
It will be perceived, no doubt, from what I have already said, that the Baron was one of those human
anomalies now and then to be found, who make the science of mystification the study and the business of
their lives. For this science a peculiar turn of mind gave him instinctively the cue, while his physical
appearance afforded him unusual facilities for carrying his prospects into effect. I quaintly termed the
domination of the Baron Ritzner von Jung, ever rightly entered into the mystery which overshadowed his
character. I truly think that no person at the university, with the exception of myself, ever suspected him
to be capable of a joke, verbal or practical: -- the old bull-dog at the garden-gate would sooner have been
accused, -- the ghost of Heraclitus, -- or the wig of the Emeritus Professor of Theology. This, too, when it
was evident that the most egregious and unpardonable of all conceivable tricks, whimsicalities and
buffooneries were brought about, if not directly by him, at least plainly through his intermediate agency
or connivance. The beauty, if I may so call it, of his art mystifique, lay in that consummate ability
(resulting from an almost intuitive knowledge of human nature, and a most wonderful self-possession,) by
means of which he never failed to make it appear that the drolleries he was occupied in bringing to a
point, arose partly in spite, and partly in consequence of the laudable efforts he was making for their
prevention, and for the preservation of the good order and dignity of Alma Mater. The deep, the poignant,
the overwhelming mortification, which upon each such failure of his praise worthy endeavors, would
suffuse every lineament of his countenance, left not the slightest room for doubt of his sincerity in the
bosoms of even his most skeptical companions. The adroitness, too, was no less worthy of observation by
which he contrived to shift the sense of the grotesque from the creator to the created -- from his own
person to the absurdities to which he had given rise. In no instance before that of which I speak, have I
known the habitual mystific escape the natural consequence of his manoevres -- an attachment of the
ludicrous to his own character and person. Continually enveloped in an atmosphere of whim, my friend
appeared to live only for the severities of society; and not even his own household have for a moment
associated other ideas than those of the rigid and august with the memory of the Baron Ritzner von Jung.
the demon of the dolce far niente lay like an incubus upon the university. Nothing, at least, was done
beyond eating and drinking and making merry. The apartments of the students were converted into so
many pot-houses, and there was no pot-house of them all more famous or more frequented than that of
the Baron. Our carousals here were many, and boisterous, and long, and never unfruitful of events.
Upon one occasion we had protracted our sitting until nearly daybreak, and an unusual quantity of wine
had been drunk. The company consisted of seven or eight individuals besides the Baron and myself. Most
of these were young men of wealth, of high connection, of great family pride, and all alive with an
exaggerated sense of honor. They abounded in the most ultra German opinions respecting the duello. To
these Quixotic notions some recent Parisian publications, backed by three or four desperate and fatal
conversation, during the greater part of the night, had run wild upon the all -- engrossing topic of the
times. The Baron, who had been unusually silent and abstracted in the earlier portion of the evening, at
length seemed to be aroused from his apathy, took a leading part in the discourse, and dwelt upon the
benefits, and more especially upon the beauties, of the received code of etiquette in passages of arms
with an ardor, an eloquence, an impressiveness, and an affectionateness of manner, which elicited the
warmest enthusiasm from his hearers in general, and absolutely staggered even myself, who well knew
him to be at heart a ridiculer of those very points for which he contended, and especially to hold the
entire fanfaronade of duelling etiquette in the sovereign contempt which it deserves.
Looking around me during a pause in the Baron's discourse (of which my readers may gather some faint
idea when I say that it bore resemblance to the fervid, chanting, monotonous, yet musical sermonic
manner of Coleridge), I perceived symptoms of even more than the general interest in the countenance of
one of the party. This gentleman, whom I shall call Hermann, was an original in every respect -- except,
perhaps, in the single particular that he was a very great fool. He contrived to bear, however, among a
particular set at the university, a reputation for deep metaphysical thinking, and, I believe, for some
logical talent. As a duellist he had acquired who had fallen at his hands; but they were many. He was a
man of courage undoubtedly. But it was upon his minute acquaintance with the etiquette of the duello,
and the nicety of his sense of honor, that he most especially prided himself. These things were a hobby
which he rode to the death. To Ritzner, ever upon the lookout for the grotesque, his peculiarities had for a
long time past afforded food for mystification. Of this, however, I was not aware; although, in the present
instance, I saw clearly that something of a whimsical nature was upon the tapis with my friend, and that
Hermann was its especial object.
As the former proceeded in his discourse, or rather monologue I perceived the excitement of the latter
momently increasing. At length he spoke; offering some objection to a point insisted upon by R., and
giving his reasons in detail. To these the Baron replied at length (still maintaining his exaggerated tone of
sentiment) and concluding, in what I thought very bad taste, with a sarcasm and a sneer. The hobby of
Hermann now took the bit in his teeth. This I could discern by the studied hair-splitting farrago of his
rejoinder. His last words I distinctly remember. "Your opinions, allow me to say, Baron von Jung, although
in the main correct, are, in many nice points, discreditable to yourself and to the university of which you
are a member. In a few respects they are even unworthy of serious refutation. I would say more than this,
sir, were it not for the fear of giving you offence (here the speaker smiled blandly), I would say, sir, that
your opinions are not the opinions to be expected from a gentleman."
As Hermann completed this equivocal sentence, all eyes were turned upon the Baron. He became pale,
then excessively red; then, dropping his pocket-handkerchief, stooped to recover it, when I caught a
glimpse of his countenance, while it could be seen by no one else at the table. It was radiant with the
quizzical expression which was its natural character, but which I had never seen it assume except when
we were alone together, and when he unbent himself freely. In an instant afterward he stood erect,
confronting Hermann; and so total an alteration of countenance in so short a period I certainly never saw
before. For a moment I even fancied that I had misconceived him, and that he was in sober earnest. He
appeared to be stifling with passion, and his face was cadaverously white. For a short time he remained
silent, apparently striving to master his emotion. Having at length seemingly succeeded, he reached a
decanter which stood near him, saying as he held it firmly clenched "The language you have thought
proper to employ, Mynheer Hermann, in addressing yourself to me, is objectionable in so many
particulars, that I have neither temper nor time for specification. That my opinions, however, are not the
opinions to be expected from a gentleman, is an observation so directly offensive as to allow me but one
line of conduct. Some courtesy, nevertheless, is due to the presence of this company, and to yourself, at
this moment, as my guest. You will pardon me, therefore, if, upon this consideration, I deviate slightly
from the general usage among gentlemen in similar cases of personal affront. You will forgive me for the
moderate tax I shall make upon your imagination, and endeavor to consider, for an instant, the reflection
of your person in yonder mirror as the living Mynheer Hermann himself. This being done, there will be no
difficulty whatever. I shall discharge this decanter of wine at your image in yonder mirror, and thus fulfil
all the spirit, if not the exact letter, of resentment for your insult, while the necessity of physical violence
to your real person will be obviated."
With these words he hurled the decanter, full of wine, against the mirror which hung directly opposite
Hermann; striking the reflection of his person with great precision, and of course shattering the glass into
fragments. The whole company at once started to their feet, and, with the exception of myself and Ritzner,
took their departure. As Hermann went out, the Baron whispered me that I should follow him and make
an offer of my services. To this I agreed; not knowing precisely what to make of so ridiculous a piece of
business.
The duellist accepted my aid with his stiff and ultra recherche air, and, taking my arm, led me to his
apartment. I could hardly forbear laughing in his face while he proceeded to discuss, with the
profoundest gravity, what he termed "the refinedly peculiar character" of the insult he had received. After
a tiresome harangue in his ordinary style, he took down from his book shelves a number of musty volumes
on the subject of the duello, and entertained me for a long time with their contents; reading aloud, and
commenting earnestly as he read. I can just remember the titles of some of the works. There were the
"Ordonnance of Philip le Bel on Single Combat"; the "Theatre of Honor," by Favyn, and a treatise "On the
Permission of Duels," by Andiguier. He displayed, also, with much pomposity, Brantome's "Memoirs of
Duels," -- published at Cologne, 1666, in the types of Elzevir -- a precious and unique vellum-paper
volume, with a fine margin, and bound by Derome. But he requested my attention particularly, and with
an air of mysterious sagacity, to a thick octavo, written in barbarous Latin by one Hedelin, a Frenchman,
and having the quaint title, "Duelli Lex Scripta, et non; aliterque." From this he read me one of the
drollest chapters in the world concerning "Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se,"
about half of which, he averred, was strictly applicable to his own "refinedly peculiar" case, although not
one syllable of the whole matter could I understand for the life of me. Having finished the chapter, he
closed the book, and demanded what I thought necessary to be done. I replied that I had entire
confidence in his superior delicacy of feeling, and would abide by what he proposed. With this answer he
seemed flattered, and sat down to write a note to the Baron. It ran thus:
Sir, -- My friend, M. P.-, will hand you this note. I find it incumbent upon me to request, at your earliest
convenience, an explanation of this evening's occurrences at your chambers. In the event of your
declining this request, Mr. P. will be happy to arrange, with any friend whom you may appoint, the steps
preliminary to a meeting.
JOHANN HERMAN.
Not knowing what better to do, I called upon Ritzner with this epistle. He bowed as I presented it; then,
with a grave countenance, motioned me to a seat. Having perused the cartel, he wrote the following reply,
which I carried to Hermann.
SIR, -- Through our common friend, Mr. P., I have received your note of this evening. Upon due reflection I
frankly admit the propriety of the explanation you suggest. This being admitted, I still find great difficulty,
(owing to the refinedly peculiar nature of our disagreement, and of the personal affront offered on my
part,) in so wording what I have to say by way of apology, as to meet all the minute exigencies, and all the
variable shadows, of the case. I have great reliance, however, on that extreme delicacy of discrimination,
in matters appertaining to the rules of etiquette, for which you have been so long and so pre-eminently
distinguished. With perfect certainty, therefore, of being comprehended, I beg leave, in lieu of offering
any sentiments of my own, to refer you to the opinions of Sieur Hedelin, as set forth in the ninth
paragraph of the chapter of "Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se," in his "Duelli Lex
scripta, et non; aliterque." The nicety of your discernment in all the matters here treated, will be
sufficient, I am assured, to convince you that the mere circumstance of me referring you to this admirable
passage, ought to satisfy your request, as a man of honor, for explanation.
VON JUNG.
Hermann commenced the perusal of this epistle with a scowl, which, however, was converted into a smile
of the most ludicrous self-complacency as he came to the rigmarole about Injuriae per applicationem, per
constructionem, et per se. Having finished reading, he begged me, with the blandest of all possible
smiles, to be seated, while he made reference to the treatise in question. Turning to the passage
specified, he read it with great care to himself, then closed the book, and desired me, in my character of
confidential acquaintance, to express to the Baron von Jung his exalted sense of his chivalrous behavior,
and, in that of second, to assure him that the explanation offered was of the fullest, the most honorable,
and the most unequivocally satisfactory nature.
Somewhat amazed at all this, I made my retreat to the Baron. He seemed to receive Hermann's amicable
letter as a matter of course, and after a few words of general conversation, went to an inner room and
brought out the everlasting treatise "Duelli Lex scripta, et non; aliterque." He handed me the volume and
asked me to look over some portion of it. I did so, but to little purpose, not being able to gather the least
particle of meaning. He then took the book himself, and read me a chapter aloud. To my surprise, what he
read proved to be a most horribly absurd account of a duel between two baboons. He now explained the
mystery; showing that the volume, as it appeared prima facie, was written upon the plan of the nonsense
verses of Du Bartas; that is to say, the language was ingeniously framed so as to present to the ear all the
outward signs of intelligibility, and even of profundity, while in fact not a shadow of meaning existed. The
key to the whole was found in leaving out every second and third word alternately, when there appeared a
series of ludicrous quizzes upon a single combat as practised in modern times.
The Baron afterwards informed me that he had purposely thrown the treatise in Hermann's way two or
three weeks before the adventure, and that he was satisfied, from the general tenor of his conversation,
that he had studied it with the deepest attention, and firmly believed it to be a work of unusual merit.
Upon this hint he proceeded. Hermann would have died a thousand deaths rather than acknowledge his
inability to understand anything and everything in the universe that had ever been written about the
duello.
Littleton Barry.
NEVER BET THE DEVIL YOUR HEAD: A TALE WITH A MORAL
" CON tal que las costumbres de un autor ," says Don Thomas de las Torres, in the preface to his
"Amatory Poems" "sean puras y castas, importo muy poco que no sean igualmente severas sus obras" --
meaning, in plain English, that, provided the morals of an author are pure personally, it signifies nothing
what are the morals of his boo ks. We presume that Don Thomas is now in Purgatory for the assertion. It
would be a clever thing, too, in the way of poetical justice, to keep him there until his "Amatory Poems"
get out of print, or are laid definitely upon the shelf through lack of readers. Every fiction should have a
moral; and, what is more to the purpose, the critics have discovered that every fiction has. Philip
Melanchthon, some time ago, wrote a commentary upon the"Batrachomyomachia," and proved that the
poet's object was to excite a distaste for sedition. Pierre la Seine, going a step farther, shows that the
intention was to recommend to young men temperance in eating and drinking. Just so, too, Jacobus Hugo
has satisfied himself that, by Euenis, Homer meant to insinuate John Calvin; by Antinous, Martin Luther;
by the Lotophagi, Protestants in general; and, by the Harpies, the Dutch. Our more modern Scholiasts are
equally acute. These fellows demonstrate a hidden meaning in "The Antediluvians," a parable in
Powhatan," new views in "Cock Robin," and transcendentalism in "Hop O' My Thumb." In short, it has
been shown that no man can sit down to write without a very profound design. Thus to authors in general
much trouble is spared. A novelist, for example, need have no care of his moral. It is there -- that is to say,
it is somewhere -- and the moral and the critics can take care of themselves. When the proper time
arrives, all that the gentleman intended, and all that he did not intend, will be brought to light, in the
"Dial," or the "Down-Easter," together with all that he ought to have intended, and the rest that he clearly
meant to intend: -- so that it will all come very straight in the end.
There is no just ground, therefore, for the charge brought against me by certain ignoramuses -- that I
have never written a moral tale, or, in more precise words, a tale with a moral. They are not the critics
predestined to bring me out, and develop my morals: -- that is the secret. By and by the "North American
Quarterly Humdrum" will make them ashamed of their stupidity. In the meantime, by way of staying
execution -- by way of mitigating the accusations against me -- I offer the sad history appended, -- a
history about whose obvious moral there can be no question whatever, since he who runs may read it in
the large capitals which form the title of the tale. I should have credit for this arrangement -- a far wiser
one than that of La Fontaine and others, who reserve the impression to be conveyed until the last
moment, and thus sneak it in at the fag end of their fables.
Defuncti injuria ne afficiantur was a law of the twelve tables, and De mortuis nil nisi bonum is an
excellent injunction -- even if the dead in question be nothing but dead small beer. It is not my design,
therefore, to vituperate my deceased friend, Toby Dammit. He was a sad dog, it is true, and a dog's death
it was that he died; but he himself was not to blame for his vices. They grew out of a personal defect in
his mother. She did her best in the way of flogging him while an infant -- for duties to her well -- regulated
mind were always pleasures, and babies, like tough steaks, or the modern Greek olive trees, are
invariably the better for beating -- but, poor woman! she had the misfortune to be left-handed, and a child
flogged left-handedly had better be left unflogged. The world revolves from right to left. It will not do to
whip a baby from left to right. If each blow in the proper direction drives an evil propensity out, it follows
that every thump in an opposite one knocks its quota of wickedness in. I was often present at Toby's
chastisements, and, even by the way in which he kicked, I could perceive that he was getting worse and
worse every day. At last I saw, through the tears in my eyes, that there was no hope of the villain at all,
and one day when he had been cuffed until he grew so black in the face that one might have mistaken him
for a little African, and no effect had been produced beyond that of making him wriggle himself into a fit,
I could stand it no longer, but went down upon my knees forthwith, and, uplifting my voice, made
prophecy of his ruin.
The fact is that his precocity in vice was awful. At five months of age he used to get into such passions
that he was unable to articulate. At six months, I caught him gnawing a pack of cards. At seven months he
was in the constant habit of catching and kissing the female babies. At eight months he peremptorily
refused to put his signature to the Temperance pledge. Thus he went on increasing in iniquity, month
after month, until, at the close of the first year, he not only insisted upon wearing moustaches, but had
contracted a propensity for cursing and swearing, and for backing his assertions by bets.
Through this latter most ungentlemanly practice, the ruin which I had predicted to Toby Dammit overtook
him at last. The fashion had "grown with his growth and strengthened with his strength," so that, when he
came to be a man, he could scarcely utter a sentence without interlarding it with a proposition to gamble.
Not that he actually laid wagers -- no. I will do my friend the justice to say that he would as soon have laid
eggs. With him the thing was a mere formula -- nothing more. His expressions on this head had no
meaning attached to them whatever. They were simple if not altogether innocent expletives -- imaginative
phrases wherewith to round off a sentence. When he said "I'll bet you so and so," nobody ever thought of
taking him up; but still I could not help thinking it my duty to put him down. The habit was an immoral
one, and so I told him. It was a vulgar one- this I begged him to believe. It was discountenanced by
society -- here I said nothing but the truth. It was forbidden by act of Congress -- here I had not the
slightest intention of telling a lie. I remonstrated -- but to no purpose. I demonstrated -- in vain. I
entreated -- he smiled. I implored -- he laughed. I preached- he sneered. I threatened -- he swore. I kicked
him -- he called for the police. I pulled his nose -- he blew it, and offered to bet the Devil his head that I
would not venture to try that experiment again.
Poverty was another vice which the peculiar physical deficiency of Dammit's mother had entailed upon
her son. He was detestably poor, and this was the reason, no doubt, that his expletive expressions about
betting, seldom took a pecuniary turn. I will not be bound to say that I ever heard him make use of such a
figure of speech as "I'll bet you a dollar." It was usually "I'll bet you what you please," or "I'll bet you what
you dare," or "I'll bet you a trifle," or else, more significantly still, "I'll bet the Devil my head."
This latter form seemed to please him best; -- perhaps because it involved the least risk; for Dammit had
become excessively parsimonious. Had any one taken him up, his head was small, and thus his loss would
have been small too. But these are my own reflections and I am by no means sure that I am right in
attributing them to him. At all events the phrase in question grew daily in favor, notwithstanding the
gross impropriety of a man betting his brains like bank-notes: -- but this was a point which my friend's
perversity of disposition would not permit him to comprehend. In the end, he abandoned all other forms
of wager, and gave himself up to "I'll bet the Devil my head," with a pertinacity and exclusiveness of
devotion that displeased not less than it surprised me. I am always displeased by circumstances for which
I cannot account. Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health. The truth is, there was
something in the air with which Mr. Dammit was wont to give utterance to his offensive expression --
something in his manner of enunciation -- which at first interested, and afterwards made me very uneasy -
- something which, for want of a more definite term at present, I must be permitted to call queer; but
which Mr. Coleridge would have called mystical, Mr. Kant pantheistical, Mr. Carlyle twistical, and Mr.
Emerson hyperquizzitistical. I began not to like it at all. Mr. Dammits soul was in a perilous state. I
resolved to bring all my eloquence into play to save it. I vowed to serve him as St. Patrick, in the Irish
chronicle, is said to have served the toad, -- that is to say, "awaken him to a sense of his situation." I
addressed myself to the task forthwith. Once more I betook myself to remonstrance. Again I collected my
energies for a final attempt at expostulation.
When I had made an end of my lecture, Mr. Dammit indulged himself in some very equivocal behavior. For
some moments he remained silent, merely looking me inquisitively in the face. But presently he threw his
head to one side, and elevated his eyebrows to a great extent. Then he spread out the palms of his hands
and shrugged up his shoulders. Then he winked with the right eye. Then he repeated the operation with
the left. Then he shut them both up very tight. Then he opened them both so very wide that I became
seriously alarmed for the consequences. Then, applying his thumb to his nose, he thought proper to make
an indescribable movement with the rest of his fingers. Finally, setting his arms a-kimbo, he
condescended to reply.
I can call to mind only the beads of his discourse. He would be obliged to me if I would hold my tongue.
He wished none of my advice. He despised all my insinuations. He was old enough to take care of himself.
Did I still think him baby Dammit? Did I mean to say any thing against his character? Did I intend to
insult him? Was I a fool? Was my maternal parent aware, in a word, of my absence from the domiciliary
residence? He would put this latter question to me as to a man of veracity, and he would bind himself to
abide by my reply. Once more he would demand explicitly if my mother knew that I was out. My
confusion, he said, betrayed me, and he would be willing to bet the Devil his head that she did not.
Mr. Dammit did not pause for my rejoinder. Turning upon his heel, he left my presence with undignified
precipitation. It was well for him that he did so. My feelings had been wounded. Even my anger had been
aroused. For once I would have taken him up upon his insulting wager. I would have won for the Arch-
Enemy Mr. Dammit's little head -- for the fact is, my mamma was very well aware of my merely temporary
absence from home.
But Khoda shefa midêhed -- Heaven gives relief -- as the Mussulmans say when you tread upon their toes.
It was in pursuance of my duty that I had been insulted, and I bore the insult like a man. It now seemed to
me, however, that I had done all that could be required of me, in the case of this miserable individual, and
I resolved to trouble him no longer with my counsel, but to leave him to his conscience and himself. But
although I forebore to intrude with my advice, I could not bring myself to give up his society altogether. I
even went so far as to humor some of his less reprehensible propensities; and there were times when I
found myself lauding his wicked jokes, as epicures do mustard, with tears in my eyes: -- so profoundly did
it grieve me to hear his evil talk.
One fine day, having strolled out together, arm in arm, our route led us in the direction of a river. There
was a bridge, and we resolved to cross it. It was roofed over, by way of protection from the weather, and
the archway, having but few windows, was thus very uncomfortably dark. As we entered the passage, the
contrast between the external glare and the interior gloom struck heavily upon my spirits. Not so upon
those of the unhappy Dammit, who offered to bet the Devil his head that I was hipped. He seemed to be in
an unusual good humor. He was excessively lively -- so much so that I entertained I know not what of
uneasy suspicion. It is not impossible that he was affected with the transcendentals. I am not well enough
versed, however, in the diagnosis of this disease to speak with decision upon the point; and unhappily
there were none of my friends of the "Dial" present. I suggest the idea, nevertheless, because of a certain
species of austere Merry-Andrewism which seemed to beset my poor friend, and caused him to make
quite a Tom-Fool of himself. Nothing would serve him but wriggling and skipping about under and over
every thing that came in his way; now shouting out, and now lisping out, all manner of odd little and big
words, yet preserving the gravest face in the world all the time. I really could not make up my mind
whether to kick or to pity him. At length, having passed nearly across the bridge, we approached the
termination of the footway, when our progress was impeded by a turnstile of some height. Through this I
made my way quietly, pushing it around as usual. But this turn would not serve the turn of Mr. Dammit.
He insisted upon leaping the stile, and said he could cut a pigeon-wing over it in the air. Now this,
conscientiously speaking, I did not think he could do. The best pigeon-winger over all kinds of style was
my friend Mr. Carlyle, and as I knew he could not do it, I would not believe that it could be done by Toby
Dammit. I therefore told him, in so many words, that he was a braggadocio, and could not do what he
said. For this I had reason to be sorry afterward; -- for he straightway offered to bet the Devil his head
that he could.
I was about to reply, notwithstanding my previous resolutions, with some remonstrance against his
impiety, when I heard, close at my elbow, a slight cough, which sounded very much like the ejaculation
"ahem!" I started, and looked about me in surprise. My glance at length fell into a nook of the frame --
work of the bridge, and upon the figure of a little lame old gentleman of venerable aspect. Nothing could
be more reverend than his whole appearance; for he not only had on a full suit of black, but his shirt was
perfectly clean and the collar turned very neatly down over a white cravat, while his hair was parted in
front like a girl's. His hands were clasped pensively together over his stomach, and his two eyes were
carefully rolled up into the top of his head.
Upon observing him more closely, I perceived that he wore a black silk apron over his small-clothes; and
this was a thing which I thought very odd. Before I had time to make any remark, however, upon so
singular a circumstance, he interrupted me with a second "ahem!"
To this observation I was not immediately prepared to reply. The fact is, remarks of this laconic nature are
nearly unanswerable. I have known a Quarterly Review non-plussed by the word "Fudge!" I am not
ashamed to say, therefore, that I turned to Mr. Dammit for assistance.
"Dammit," said I, "what are you about? don't you hear? -- the gentleman says 'ahem!'" I looked sternly at
my friend while I thus addressed him; for, to say the truth, I felt particularly puzzled, and when a man is
particularly puzzled he must knit his brows and look savage, or else he is pretty sure to look like a fool.
"Dammit," observed I -- although this sounded very much like an oath, than which nothing was further
from my thoughts -- "Dammit," I suggested -- "the gentleman says 'ahem!'"
I do not attempt to defend my remark on the score of profundity; I did not think it profound myself; but I
have noticed that the effect of our speeches is not always proportionate with their importance in our own
eyes; and if I had shot Mr. D. through and through with a Paixhan bomb, or knocked him in the head with
the "Poets and Poetry of America," he could hardly have been more discomfited than when I addressed
him with those simple words: "Dammit, what are you about?- don't you hear? -- the gentleman says
'ahem!'"
"You don't say so?" gasped he at length, after turning more colors than a pirate runs up, one after the
other, when chased by a man-of-war. "Are you quite sure he said that? Well, at all events I am in for it now,
and may as well put a bold face upon the matter. Here goes, then -- ahem!"
At this the little old gentleman seemed pleased -- God only knows why. He left his station at the nook of
the bridge, limped forward with a gracious air, took Dammit by the hand and shook it cordially, looking all
the while straight up in his face with an air of the most unadulterated benignity which it is possible for
the mind of man to imagine.
"I am quite sure you will win it, Dammit," said he, with the frankest of all smiles, "but we are obliged to
have a trial, you know, for the sake of mere form."
"Ahem!" replied my friend, taking off his coat, with a deep sigh, tying a pocket-handkerchief around his
waist, and producing an unaccountable alteration in his countenance by twisting up his eyes and bringing
down the corners of his mouth -- "ahem!" And "ahem!" said he again, after a pause; and not another word
more than "ahem!" did I ever know him to say after that. "Aha!" thought I, without expressing myself
aloud -- "this is quite a remarkable silence on the part of Toby Dammit, and is no doubt a consequence of
his verbosity upon a previous occasion. One extreme induces another. I wonder if he has forgotten the
many unanswerable questions which he propounded to me so fluently on the day when I gave him my last
lecture? At all events, he is cured of the transcendentals."
"Ahem!" here replied Toby, just as if he had been reading my thoughts, and looking like a very old sheep
in a revery.
The old gentleman now took him by the arm, and led him more into the shade of the bridge -- a few paces
back from the turnstile. "My good fellow," said he, "I make it a point of conscience to allow you this much
run. Wait here, till I take my place by the stile, so that I may see whether you go over it handsomely, and
transcendentally, and don't omit any flourishes of the pigeon-wing. A mere form, you know. I will say 'one,
two, three, and away.' Mind you, start at the word 'away'" Here he took his position by the stile, paused a
moment as if in profound reflection, then looked up and, I thought, smiled very slightly, then tightened
the strings of his apron, then took a long look at Dammit, and finally gave the word as agreed upon-
Punctually at the word "away," my poor friend set off in a strong gallop. The stile was not very high, like
Mr. Lord's -- nor yet very low, like that of Mr. Lord's reviewers, but upon the whole I made sure that he
would clear it. And then what if he did not? -- ah, that was the question -- what if he did not? "What right,"
said I, "had the old gentleman to make any other gentleman jump? The little old dot-and-carry-one! who is
he? If he asks me to jump, I won't do it, that's flat, and I don't care who the devil he is." The bridge, as I
say, was arched and covered in, in a very ridiculous manner, and there was a most uncomfortable echo
about it at all times -- an echo which I never before so particularly observed as when I uttered the four
last words of my remark.
But what I said, or what I thought, or what I heard, occupied only an instant. In less than five seconds
from his starting, my poor Toby had taken the leap. I saw him run nimbly, and spring grandly from the
floor of the bridge, cutting the most awful flourishes with his legs as he went up. I saw him high in the air,
pigeon-winging it to admiration just over the top of the stile; and of course I thought it an unusually
singular thing that he did not continue to go over. But the whole leap was the affair of a moment, and,
before I had a chance to make any profound reflections, down came Mr. Dammit on the flat of his back, on
the same side of the stile from which he had started. At the same instant I saw the old gentleman limping
off at the top of his speed, having caught and wrapt up in his apron something that fell heavily into it from
the darkness of the arch just over the turnstile. At all this I was much astonished; but I had no leisure to
think, for Dammit lay particularly still, and I concluded that his feelings had been hurt, and that he stood
in need of my assistance. I hurried up to him and found that he had received what might be termed a
serious injury. The truth is, he had been deprived of his head, which after a close search I could not find
anywhere; so I determined to take him home and send for the homoeopathists. In the meantime a thought
struck me, and I threw open an adjacent window of the bridge, when the sad truth flashed upon me at
once. About five feet just above the top of the turnstile, and crossing the arch of the foot-path so as to
constitute a brace, there extended a flat iron bar, lying with its breadth horizontally, and forming one of a
series that served to strengthen the structure throughout its extent. With the edge of this brace it
appeared evident that the neck of my unfortunate friend had come precisely in contact.
He did not long survive his terrible loss. The homoeopathists did not give him little enough physic, and
what little they did give him he hesitated to take. So in the end he grew worse, and at length died, a
lesson to all riotous livers. I bedewed his grave with my tears, worked a bar sinister on his family
escutcheon, and, for the general expenses of his funeral, sent in my very moderate bill to the
transcendentalists. The scoundrels refused to pay it, so I had Mr. Dammit dug up at once, and sold him for
dog's meat.
THE OBLONG BOX
SOME years ago, I engaged passage from Charleston, S. C, to the city of New York, in the fine packet-ship
"Independence," Captain Hardy. We were to sail on the fifteenth of the month (June), weather permitting;
and on the fourteenth, I went on board to arrange some matte rs in my state-room.
I found that we were to have a great many passengers, including a more than usual number of ladies. On
the list were several of my acquaintances, and among other names, I was rejoiced to see that of Mr.
Cornelius Wyatt, a young artist, for whom I entertained feelings of warm friendship. He had been with me
a fellow-student at C -- University, where we were very much together. He had the ordinary temperament
of genius, and was a compound of misanthropy, sensibility, and enthusiasm. To these qualities he united
the warmest and truest heart which ever beat in a human bosom.
I observed that his name was carded upon three state-rooms; and, upon again referring to the list of
passengers, I found that he had engaged passage for himself, wife, and two sisters -- his own. The state-
rooms were sufficiently roomy, and each had two berths, one above the other. These berths, to be sure,
were so exceedingly narrow as to be insufficient for more than one person; still, I could not comprehend
why there were three state-rooms for these four persons. I was, just at that epoch, in one of those moody
frames of mind which make a man abnormally inquisitive about trifles: and I confess, with shame, that I
busied myself in a variety of ill-bred and preposterous conjectures about this matter of the
supernumerary state-room. It was no business of mine, to be sure, but with none the less pertinacity did I
occupy myself in attempts to resolve the enigma. At last I reached a conclusion which wrought in me
great wonder why I had not arrived at it before. "It is a servant of course," I said; "what a fool I am, not
sooner to have thought of so obvious a solution!" And then I again repaired to the list -- but here I saw
distinctly that no servant was to come with the party, although, in fact, it had been the original design to
bring one -- for the words "and servant" had been first written and then overscored. "Oh, extra baggage,
to be sure," I now said to myself -- "something he wishes not to be put in the hold -- something to be kept
under his own eye -- ah, I have it -- a painting or so -- and this is what he has been bargaining about with
Nicolino, the Italian Jew." This idea satisfied me, and I dismissed my curiosity for the nonce.
Wyatt's two sisters I knew very well, and most amiable and clever girls they were. His wife he had newly
married, and I had never yet seen her. He had often talked about her in my presence, however, and in his
usual style of enthusiasm. He described her as of surpassing beauty, wit, and accomplishment. I was,
therefore, quite anxious to make her acquaintance.
On the day in which I visited the ship (the fourteenth), Wyatt and party were also to visit it -- so the
captain informed me -- and I waited on board an hour longer than I had designed, in hope of being
presented to the bride, but then an apology came. "Mrs. W. was a little indisposed, and would decline
coming on board until to-morrow, at the hour of sailing."
The morrow having arrived, I was going from my hotel to the wharf, when Captain Hardy met me and said
that, "owing to circumstances" (a stupid but convenient phrase), "he rather thought the 'Independence'
would not sail for a day or two, and that when all was ready, he would send up and let me know." This I
thought strange, for there was a stiff southerly breeze; but as "the circumstances" were not forthcoming,
although I pumped for them with much perseverance, I had nothing to do but to return home and digest
my impatience at leisure.
I did not receive the expected message from the captain for nearly a week. It came at length, however,
and I immediately went on board. The ship was crowded with passengers, and every thing was in the
bustle attendant upon making sail. Wyatt's party arrived in about ten minutes after myself. There were
the two sisters, the bride, and the artist -- the latter in one of his customary fits of moody misanthropy. I
was too well used to these, however, to pay them any special attention. He did not even introduce me to
his wife -- this courtesy devolving, per force, upon his sister Marian -- a very sweet and intelligent girl,
who, in a few hurried words, made us acquainted.
Mrs. Wyatt had been closely veiled; and when she raised her veil, in acknowledging my bow, I confess
that I was very profoundly astonished. I should have been much more so, however, had not long
experience advised me not to trust, with too implicit a reliance, the enthusiastic descriptions of my friend,
the artist, when indulging in comments upon the loveliness of woman. When beauty was the theme, I well
knew with what facility he soared into the regions of the purely ideal.
The truth is, I could not help regarding Mrs. Wyatt as a decidedly plain-looking woman. If not positively
ugly, she was not, I think, very far from it. She was dressed, however, in exquisite taste -- and then I had
no doubt that she had captivated my friend's heart by the more enduring graces of the intellect and soul.
She said very few words, and passed at once into her state-room with Mr. W.
My old inquisitiveness now returned. There was no servant -- that was a settled point. I looked, therefore,
for the extra baggage. After some delay, a cart arrived at the wharf, with an oblong pine box, which was
every thing that seemed to be expected. Immediately upon its arrival we made sail, and in a short time
were safely over the bar and standing out to sea.
The box in question was, as I say, oblong. It was about six feet in length by two and a half in breadth; I
observed it attentively, and like to be precise. Now this shape was peculiar; and no sooner had I seen it,
than I took credit to myself for the accuracy of my guessing. I had reached the conclusion, it will be
remembered, that the extra baggage of my friend, the artist, would prove to be pictures, or at least a
picture; for I knew he had been for several weeks in conference with Nicolino: -- and now here was a box,
which, from its shape, could possibly contain nothing in the world but a copy of Leonardo's "Last Supper;"
and a copy of this very "Last Supper," done by Rubini the younger, at Florence, I had known, for some
time, to be in the possession of Nicolino. This point, therefore, I considered as sufficiently settled. I
chuckled excessively when I thought of my acumen. It was the first time I had ever known Wyatt to keep
from me any of his artistical secrets; but here he evidently intended to steal a march upon me, and
smuggle a fine picture to New York, under my very nose; expecting me to know nothing of the matter. I
resolved to quiz him well, now and hereafter.
One thing, however, annoyed me not a little. The box did not go into the extra state-room. It was
deposited in Wyatt's own; and there, too, it remained, occupying very nearly the whole of the floor -- no
doubt to the exceeding discomfort of the artist and his wife; -- this the more especially as the tar or paint
with which it was lettered in sprawling capitals, emitted a strong, disagreeable, and, to my fancy, a
peculiarly disgusting odor. On the lid were painted the words -- "Mrs. Adelaide Curtis, Albany, New York.
Charge of Cornelius Wyatt, Esq. This side up. To be handled with care."
Now, I was aware that Mrs. Adelaide Curtis, of Albany, was the artist's wife's mother, -- but then I looked
upon the whole address as a mystification, intended especially for myself. I made up my mind, of course,
that the box and contents would never get farther north than the studio of my misanthropic friend, in
Chambers Street, New York.
For the first three or four days we had fine weather, although the wind was dead ahead; having chopped
round to the northward, immediately upon our losing sight of the coast. The passengers were,
consequently, in high spirits and disposed to be social. I must except, however, Wyatt and his sisters, who
behaved stiffly, and, I could not help thinking, uncourteously to the rest of the party. Wyatt's conduct I did
not so much regard. He was gloomy, even beyond his usual habit -- in fact he was morose -- but in him I
was prepared for eccentricity. For the sisters, however, I could make no excuse. They secluded themselves
in their staterooms during the greater part of the passage, and absolutely refused, although I repeatedly
urged them, to hold communication with any person on board.
Mrs. Wyatt herself was far more agreeable. That is to say, she was chatty; and to be chatty is no slight
recommendation at sea. She became excessively intimate with most of the ladies; and, to my profound
astonishment, evinced no equivocal disposition to coquet with the men. She amused us all very much. I
say "amused"- and scarcely know how to explain myself. The truth is, I soon found that Mrs. W. was far
oftener laughed at than with. The gentlemen said little about her; but the ladies, in a little while,
pronounced her "a good-hearted thing, rather indifferent looking, totally uneducated, and decidedly
vulgar." The great wonder was, how Wyatt had been entrapped into such a match. Wealth was the general
solution- but this I knew to be no solution at all; for Wyatt had told me that she neither brought him a
dollar nor had any expectations from any source whatever. "He had married," he said, "for love, and for
love only; and his bride was far more than worthy of his love." When I thought of these expressions, on
the part of my friend, I confess that I felt indescribably puzzled. Could it be possible that he was taking
leave of his senses? What else could I think? He, so refined, so intellectual, so fastidious, with so exquisite
a perception of the faulty, and so keen an appreciation of the beautiful! To be sure, the lady seemed
especially fond of him- particularly so in his absence -- when she made herself ridiculous by frequent
quotations of what had been said by her "beloved husband, Mr. Wyatt." The word "husband" seemed
forever -- to use one of her own delicate expressions- forever "on the tip of her tongue." In the meantime,
it was observed by all on board, that he avoided her in the most pointed manner, and, for the most part,
shut himself up alone in his state-room, where, in fact, he might have been said to live altogether, leaving
his wife at full liberty to amuse herself as she thought best, in the public society of the main cabin.
My conclusion, from what I saw and heard, was, that, the artist, by some unaccountable freak of fate, or
perhaps in some fit of enthusiastic and fanciful passion, had been induced to unite himself with a person
altogether beneath him, and that the natural result, entire and speedy disgust, had ensued. I pitied him
from the bottom of my heart -- but could not, for that reason, quite forgive his incommunicativeness in the
matter of the "Last Supper." For this I resolved to have my revenge.
One day he came upon deck, and, taking his arm as had been my wont, I sauntered with him backward
and forward. His gloom, however (which I considered quite natural under the circumstances), seemed
entirely unabated. He said little, and that moodily, and with evident effort. I ventured a jest or two, and he
made a sickening attempt at a smile. Poor fellow! -- as I thought of his wife, I wondered that he could
have heart to put on even the semblance of mirth. I determined to commence a series of covert
insinuations, or innuendoes, about the oblong box -- just to let him perceive, gradually, that I was not
altogether the butt, or victim, of his little bit of pleasant mystification. My first observation was by way of
opening a masked battery. I said something about the "peculiar shape of that box-," and, as I spoke the
words, I smiled knowingly, winked, and touched him gently with my forefinger in the ribs.
The manner in which Wyatt received this harmless pleasantry convinced me, at once, that he was mad. At
first he stared at me as if he found it impossible to comprehend the witticism of my remark; but as its
point seemed slowly to make its way into his brain, his eyes, in the same proportion, seemed protruding
from their sockets. Then he grew very red -- then hideously pale -- then, as if highly amused with what I
had insinuated, he began a loud and boisterous laugh, which, to my astonishment, he kept up, with
gradually increasing vigor, for ten minutes or more. In conclusion, he fell flat and heavily upon the deck.
When I ran to uplift him, to all appearance he was dead.
I called assistance, and, with much difficulty, we brought him to himself. Upon reviving he spoke
incoherently for some time. At length we bled him and put him to bed. The next morning he was quite
recovered, so far as regarded his mere bodily health. Of his mind I say nothing, of course. I avoided him
during the rest of the passage, by advice of the captain, who seemed to coincide with me altogether in my
views of his insanity, but cautioned me to say nothing on this head to any person on board.
Several circumstances occurred immediately after this fit of Wyatt which contributed to heighten the
curiosity with which I was already possessed. Among other things, this: I had been nervous -- drank too
much strong green tea, and slept ill at night -- in fact, for two nights I could not be properly said to sleep
at all. Now, my state-room opened into the main cabin, or dining-room, as did those of all the single men
on board. Wyatt's three rooms were in the after-cabin, which was separated from the main one by a slight
sliding door, never locked even at night. As we were almost constantly on a wind, and the breeze was not
a little stiff, the ship heeled to leeward very considerably; and whenever her starboard side was to
leeward, the sliding door between the cabins slid open, and so remained, nobody taking the trouble to get
up and shut it. But my berth was in such a position, that when my own state-room door was open, as well
as the sliding door in question (and my own door was always open on account of the heat,) I could see
into the after-cabin quite distinctly, and just at that portion of it, too, where were situated the state-rooms
of Mr. Wyatt. Well, during two nights (not consecutive) while I lay awake, I clearly saw Mrs. W., about
eleven o'clock upon each night, steal cautiously from the state-room of Mr. W., and enter the extra room,
where she remained until daybreak, when she was called by her husband and went back. That they were
virtually separated was clear. They had separate apartments -- no doubt in contemplation of a more
permanent divorce; and here, after all I thought was the mystery of the extra state-room.
There was another circumstance, too, which interested me much. During the two wakeful nights in
question, and immediately after the disappearance of Mrs. Wyatt into the extra state-room, I was
attracted by certain singular cautious, subdued noises in that of her husband. After listening to them for
some time, with thoughtful attention, I at length succeeded perfectly in translating their import. They
were sounds occasioned by the artist in prying open the oblong box, by means of a chisel and mallet -- the
latter being apparently muffled, or deadened, by some soft woollen or cotton substance in which its head
was enveloped.
In this manner I fancied I could distinguish the precise moment when he fairly disengaged the lid -- also,
that I could determine when he removed it altogether, and when he deposited it upon the lower berth in
his room; this latter point I knew, for example, by certain slight taps which the lid made in striking
against the wooden edges of the berth, as he endeavored to lay it down very gently -- there being no room
for it on the floor. After this there was a dead stillness, and I heard nothing more, upon either occasion,
until nearly daybreak; unless, perhaps, I may mention a low sobbing, or murmuring sound, so very much
suppressed as to be nearly inaudible -- if, indeed, the whole of this latter noise were not rather produced
by my own imagination. I say it seemed to resemble sobbing or sighing- but, of course, it could not have
been either. I rather think it was a ringing in my own ears. Mr. Wyatt, no doubt, according to custom, was
merely giving the rein to one of his hobbies -- indulging in one of his fits of artistic enthusiasm. He had
opened his oblong box, in order to feast his eyes on the pictorial treasure within. There was nothing in
this, however, to make him sob. I repeat, therefore, that it must have been simply a freak of my own fancy,
distempered by good Captain Hardy's green tea. Just before dawn, on each of the two nights of which I
speak, I distinctly heard Mr. Wyatt replace the lid upon the oblong box, and force the nails into their old
places by means of the muffled mallet. Having done this, he issued from his state-room, fully dressed, and
proceeded to call Mrs. W. from hers.
We had been at sea seven days, and were now off Cape Hatteras, when there came a tremendously heavy
blow from the southwest. We were, in a measure, prepared for it, however, as the weather had been
holding out threats for some time. Every thing was made snug, alow and aloft; and as the wind steadily
freshened, we lay to, at length, under spanker and foretopsail, both double-reefed.
In this trim we rode safely enough for forty-eight hours -- the ship proving herself an excellent sea-boat in
many respects, and shipping no water of any consequence. At the end of this period, however, the gale
had freshened into a hurricane, and our after -- sail split into ribbons, bringing us so much in the trough
of the water that we shipped several prodigious seas, one immediately after the other. By this accident we
lost three men overboard with the caboose, and nearly the whole of the larboard bulwarks. Scarcely had
we recovered our senses, before the foretopsail went into shreds, when we got up a storm stay -- sail and
with this did pretty well for some hours, the ship heading the sea much more steadily than before.
The gale still held on, however, and we saw no signs of its abating. The rigging was found to be ill-fitted,
and greatly strained; and on the third day of the blow, about five in the afternoon, our mizzen-mast, in a
heavy lurch to windward, went by the board. For an hour or more, we tried in vain to get rid of it, on
account of the prodigious rolling of the ship; and, before we had succeeded, the carpenter came aft and
announced four feet of water in the hold. To add to our dilemma, we found the pumps choked and nearly
useless.
All was now confusion and despair -- but an effort was made to lighten the ship by throwing overboard as
much of her cargo as could be reached, and by cutting away the two masts that remained. This we at last
accomplished -- but we were still unable to do any thing at the pumps; and, in the meantime, the leak
gained on us very fast.
At sundown, the gale had sensibly diminished in violence, and as the sea went down with it, we still
entertained faint hopes of saving ourselves in the boats. At eight P. M., the clouds broke away to
windward, and we had the advantage of a full moon -- a piece of good fortune which served wonderfully to
cheer our drooping spirits.
After incredible labor we succeeded, at length, in getting the longboat over the side without material
accident, and into this we crowded the whole of the crew and most of the passengers. This party made off
immediately, and, after undergoing much suffering, finally arrived, in safety, at Ocracoke Inlet, on the
third day after the wreck.
Fourteen passengers, with the captain, remained on board, resolving to trust their fortunes to the jolly-
boat at the stern. We lowered it without difficulty, although it was only by a miracle that we prevented it
from swamping as it touched the water. It contained, when afloat, the captain and his wife, Mr. Wyatt and
party, a Mexican officer, wife, four children, and myself, with a negro valet.
We had no room, of course, for any thing except a few positively necessary instruments, some provisions,
and the clothes upon our backs. No one had thought of even attempting to save any thing more. What
must have been the astonishment of all, then, when having proceeded a few fathoms from the ship, Mr.
Wyatt stood up in the stern-sheets, and coolly demanded of Captain Hardy that the boat should be put
back for the purpose of taking in his oblong box!
"Sit down, Mr. Wyatt," replied the captain, somewhat sternly, "you will capsize us if you do not sit quite
still. Our gunwhale is almost in the water now."
"The box!" vociferated Mr. Wyatt, still standing -- "the box, I say! Captain Hardy, you cannot, you will not
refuse me. Its weight will be but a trifle -- it is nothing- mere nothing. By the mother who bore you -- for
the love of Heaven -- by your hope of salvation, I implore you to put back for the box!"
The captain, for a moment, seemed touched by the earnest appeal of the artist, but he regained his stern
composure, and merely said:
"Mr. Wyatt, you are mad. I cannot listen to you. Sit down, I say, or you will swamp the boat. Stay -- hold
him -- seize him! -- he is about to spring overboard! There -- I knew it -- he is over!"
As the captain said this, Mr. Wyatt, in fact, sprang from the boat, and, as we were yet in the lee of the
wreck, succeeded, by almost superhuman exertion, in getting hold of a rope which hung from the fore-
chains. In another moment he was on board, and rushing frantically down into the cabin.
In the meantime, we had been swept astern of the ship, and being quite out of her lee, were at the mercy
of the tremendous sea which was still running. We made a determined effort to put back, but our little
boat was like a feather in the breath of the tempest. We saw at a glance that the doom of the unfortunate
artist was sealed.
As our distance from the wreck rapidly increased, the madman (for as such only could we regard him)
was seen to emerge from the companion -- way, up which by dint of strength that appeared gigantic, he
dragged, bodily, the oblong box. While we gazed in the extremity of astonishment, he passed, rapidly,
several turns of a three-inch rope, first around the box and then around his body. In another instant both
body and box were in the sea -- disappearing suddenly, at once and forever.
We lingered awhile sadly upon our oars, with our eyes riveted upon the spot. At length we pulled away.
The silence remained unbroken for an hour. Finally, I hazarded a remark.
"Did you observe, captain, how suddenly they sank? Was not that an exceedingly singular thing? I confess
that I entertained some feeble hope of his final deliverance, when I saw him lash himself to the box, and
commit himself to the sea."
"They sank as a matter of course," replied the captain, "and that like a shot. They will soon rise again,
however -- but not till the salt melts."
"The salt!" I ejaculated.
"Hush!" said the captain, pointing to the wife and sisters of the deceased. "We must talk of these things at
some more appropriate time."
We suffered much, and made a narrow escape, but fortune befriended us, as well as our mates in the
long-boat. We landed, in fine, more dead than alive, after four days of intense distress, upon the beach
opposite Roanoke Island. We remained here a week, were not ill-treated by the wreckers, and at length
obtained a passage to New York.
About a month after the loss of the "Independence," I happened to meet Captain Hardy in Broadway. Our
conversation turned, naturally, upon the disaster, and especially upon the sad fate of poor Wyatt. I thus
learned the following particulars.
The artist had engaged passage for himself, wife, two sisters and a servant. His wife was, indeed, as she
had been represented, a most lovely, and most accomplished woman. On the morning of the fourteenth of
June (the day in which I first visited the ship), the lady suddenly sickened and died. The young husband
was frantic with grief -- but circumstances imperatively forbade the deferring his voyage to New York. It
was necessary to take to her mother the corpse of his adored wife, and, on the other hand, the universal
prejudice which would prevent his doing so openly was well known. Nine-tenths of the passengers would
have abandoned the ship rather than take passage with a dead body.
In this dilemma, Captain Hardy arranged that the corpse, being first partially embalmed, and packed,
with a large quantity of salt, in a box of suitable dimensions, should be conveyed on board as
merchandise. Nothing was to be said of the lady's decease; and, as it was well understood that Mr. Wyatt
had engaged passage for his wife, it became necessary that some person should personate her during the
voyage. This the deceased lady's-maid was easily prevailed on to do. The extra state-room, originally
engaged for this girl during her mistress' life, was now merely retained. In this state-room the pseudo-
wife, slept, of course, every night. In the daytime she performed, to the best of her ability, the part of her
mistress -- whose person, it had been carefully ascertained, was unknown to any of the passengers on
board.
My own mistake arose, naturally enough, through too careless, too inquisitive, and too impulsive a
temperament. But of late, it is a rare thing that I sleep soundly at night. There is a countenance which
haunts me, turn as I will. There is an hysterical laugh which will forever ring within my ears.
THE OVAL PORTRAIT
THE chateau into which my valet had ventured to make forcible entrance, rather than permit me, in my
desperately wounded condition, to pass a night in the open air, was one of those piles of commingled
gloom and grandeur which have so long frowned among the Appennines, not less in fact than in the fancy
of Mrs. Radcliffe. To all appeara nce it had been temporarily and very lately abandoned. We established
ourselves in one of the smallest and least sumptuously furnished apartments. It lay in a remote turret of
the building. Its decorations were rich, yet tattered and antique. Its walls were hung with tapestry and
bedecked with manifold and multiform armorial trophies, together with an unusually great number of
very spirited modern paintings in frames of rich golden arabesque. In these paintings, which depended
from the walls not only in their main surfaces, but in very many nooks which the bizarre architecture of
the chateau rendered necessary -- in these paintings my incipient delirium, perhaps, had caused me to
take deep interest; so that I bade Pedro to close the heavy shutters of the room -- since it was already
night -- to light the tongues of a tall candelabrum which stood by the head of my bed -- and to throw open
far and wide the fringed curtains of black velvet which enveloped the bed itself. I wished all this done that
I might resign myself, if not to sleep, at least alternately to the contemplation of these pictures, and the
perusal of a small volume which had been found upon the pillow, and which purported to criticise and
describe them.
Long -- long I read -- and devoutly, devotedly I gazed. Rapidly and gloriously the hours flew by and the
deep midnight came. The position of the candelabrum displeased me, and outreaching my hand with
difficulty, rather than disturb my slumbering valet, I placed it so as to throw its rays more fully upon the
book.
But the action produced an effect altogether unanticipated. The rays of the numerous candles (for there
were many) now fell within a niche of the room which had hitherto been thrown into deep shade by one of
the bed-posts. I thus saw in vivid light a picture all unnoticed before. It was the portrait of a young girl
just ripening into womanhood. I glanced at the painting hurriedly, and then closed my eyes. Why I did this
was not at first apparent even to my own perception. But while my lids remained thus shut, I ran over in
my mind my reason for so shutting them. It was an impulsive movement to gain time for thought -- to
make sure that my vision had not deceived me -- to calm and subdue my fancy for a more sober and more
certain gaze. In a very few moments I again looked fixedly at the painting.
That I now saw aright I could not and would not doubt; for the first flashing of the candles upon that
canvas had seemed to dissipate the dreamy stupor which was stealing over my senses, and to startle me
at once into waking life.
The portrait, I have already said, was that of a young girl. It was a mere head and shoulders, done in what
is technically termed a vignette manner; much in the style of the favorite heads of Sully. The arms, the
bosom, and even the ends of the radiant hair melted imperceptibly into the vague yet deep shadow which
formed the back-ground of the whole. The frame was oval, richly gilded and filigreed in Moresque. As a
thing of art nothing could be more admirable than the painting itself. But it could have been neither the
execution of the work, nor the immortal beauty of thecountenance, which had so suddenly and so
vehemently moved me. Least of all, could it have been that my fancy, shaken from its half slumber, had
mistaken the head for that of a living person. I saw at once that the peculiarities of the design, of the
vignetting, and of the frame, must have instantly dispelled such idea -- must have prevented even its
momentary entertainment. Thinking earnestly upon these points, I remained, for an hour perhaps, half
sitting, half reclining, with my vision riveted upon the portrait. At length, satisfied with the true secret of
its effect, I fell back within the bed. I had found the spell of the picture in an absolutelife-likeliness of
expression, which, at first startling, finally confounded, subdued, and appalled me. With deep and
reverent awe I replaced the candelabrum in its former position. The cause of my deep agitation being
thus shut from view, I sought eagerly the volume which discussed the paintings and their histories.
Turning to the number which designated the oval portrait, I there read the vague and quaint words which
follow:
"She was a maiden of rarest beauty, and not more lovely than full of glee. And evil was the hour when she
saw, and loved, and wedded the painter. He, passionate, studious, austere, and having already a bride in
his Art; she a maiden of rarest beauty, and not more lovely than full of glee; all light and smiles, and
frolicsome as the young fawn; loving and cherishing all things; hating only the Art which was her rival;
dreading only the pallet and brushes and other untoward instruments which deprived her of the
countenance of her lover. It was thus a terrible thing for this lady to hear the painter speak of his desire
to portray even his young bride. But she was humble and obedient, and sat meekly for many weeks in the
dark, highturret-chamber where the light dripped upon the pale canvas only from overhead. But he, the
painter, took glory in his work, which went on from hour to hour, and from day to day. And be was a
passionate, and wild, and moody man, who became lost in reveries; so that he would not see that the light
which fell so ghastly in that lone turret withered the health and the spirits of his bride, who pined visibly
to all but him. Yet she smiled on and still on, uncomplainingly, because she saw that the painter (who had
high renown) took a fervid and burning pleasure in his task, and wrought day and night to depict her who
so loved him, yet who grew daily more dispirited and weak. And in sooth some who beheld the portrait
spoke of its resemblance in low words, as of a mighty marvel, and a proof not less of the power of the
painter than of his deep love for her whom he depicted so surpassingly well. But at length, as the labor
drew nearer to its conclusion, there were admitted none into the turret; for the painter had grown wild
with the ardor of his work, and turned his eyes from canvas merely, even to regard the countenance of his
wife. And he would not see that the tints which he spread upon the canvas were drawn from the cheeks of
her who sate beside him. And when many weeks bad passed, and but little remained to do, save one brush
upon the mouth and one tint upon the eye, the spirit of the lady again flickered up as the flame within the
socket of the lamp. And then the brush was given, and then the tint was placed; and, for one moment, the
painter stood entranced before the work which he had wrought; but in the next, while he yet gazed, he
grew tremulous and very pallid, and aghast, and crying with a loud voice, 'This is indeed Life itself!'
turned suddenly to regard his beloved: -- She was dead!
THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM
Impia tortorum longos hic turba furores Sanguinis innocui, non satiata, aluit. Sospite nunc patria, fracto
nunc funeris antro, Mors ubi dira fuit vita salusque patent.
[Quatrain composed for the gates of a market to be erected upon the site of the Jacobin Club House at
Paris.]
I WAS sick -- sick unto death with that long agony; and when they at length unbound me, and I was
permitted to sit, I felt that my senses were leaving me. The sentence -- the dread sentence of death -- was
the last of distinct accentuation which reached my ears. After that, the sound of the inquisitorial voices
seemed merged in one dreamy indeterminate hum. It conveyed to my soul the idea of revolution --
perhaps from its association in fancy with the burr of a mill wheel. This only for a brief period; for
presently I heard no more. Yet, for a while, I saw; but with how terrible an exaggeration! I saw the lips of
the black-robed judges. They appeared to me white -- whiter than the sheet upon which I trace these
words -- and thin even to grotesqueness; thin with the intensity of their expression of firmness -- of
immoveable resolution -- of stern contempt of human torture. I saw that the decrees of what to me was
Fate, were still issuing from those lips. I saw them writhe with a deadly locution. I saw them fashion the
syllables of my name; and I shuddered because no sound succeeded. I saw, too, for a few moments of
delirious horror, the soft and nearly imperceptible waving of the sable draperies which enwrapped the
walls of the apartment. And then my vision fell upon the seven tall candles upon the table. At first they
wore the aspect of charity, and seemed white and slender angels who would save me; but then, all at
once, there came a most deadly nausea over my spirit, and I felt every fibre in my frame thrill as if I had
touched the wire of a galvanic battery, while the angel forms became meaningless spectres, with heads of
flame, and I saw that from them there would be no help. And then there stole into my fancy, like a rich
musical note, the thought of what sweet rest there must be in the grave. The thought came gently and
stealthily, and it seemed long before it attained full appreciation; but just as my spirit came at length
properly to feel and entertain it, the figures of the judges vanished, as if magically, from before me; the
tall candles sank into nothingness; their flames went out utterly; the blackness of darkness supervened;
all sensations appeared swallowed up in a mad rushing descent as of the soul into Hades. Then silence,
and stillness, night were the universe.
I had swooned; but still will not say that all of consciousness was lost. What of it there remained I will not
attempt to define, or even to describe; yet all was not lost. In the deepest slumber -- no! In delirium -- no!
In a swoon -- no! In death -- no! even in the grave all is not lost. Else there is no immortality for man.
Arousing from the most profound of slumbers, we break the gossamer web of some dream. Yet in a
second afterward, (so frail may that web have been) we remember not that we have dreamed. In the
return to life from the swoon there are two stages; first, that of the sense of mental or spiritual; secondly,
that of the sense of physical, existence. It seems probable that if, upon reaching the second stage, we
could recall the impressions of the first, we should find these impressions eloquent in memories of the
gulf beyond. And that gulf is -- what? How at least shall we distinguish its shadows from those of the
tomb? But if the impressions of what I have termed the first stage, are not, at will, recalled, yet, after long
interval, do they not come unbidden, while we marvel whence they come? He who has never swooned, is
not he who finds strange palaces and wildly familiar faces in coals that glow; is not he who beholds
floating in mid-air the sad visions that the many may not view; is not he who ponders over the perfume of
some novel flower -- is not he whose brain grows bewildered with the meaning of some musical cadence
which has never before arrested his attention.
Amid frequent and thoughtful endeavors to remember; amid earnest struggles to regather some token of
the state of seeming nothingness into which my soul had lapsed, there have been moments when I have
dreamed of success; there have been brief, very brief periods when I have conjured up remembrances
which the lucid reason of a later epoch assures me could have had reference only to that condition of
seeming unconsciousness. These shadows of memory tell, indistinctly, of tall figures that lifted and bore
me in silence down -- down -- still down -- till a hideous dizziness oppressed me at the mere idea of the
interminableness of the descent. They tell also of a vague horror at my heart, on account of that heart's
unnatural stillness. Then comes a sense of sudden motionlessness throughout all things; as if those who
bore me (a ghastly train!) had outrun, in their descent, the limits of the limitless, and paused from the
wearisomeness of their toil. After this I call to mind flatness and dampness; and then all is madness -- the
madness of a memory which busies itself among forbidden things.
Very suddenly there came back to my soul motion and sound -- the tumultuous motion of the heart, and, in
my ears, the sound of its beating. Then a pause in which all is blank. Then again sound, and motion, and
touch -- a tingling sensation pervading my frame. Then the mere consciousness of existence, without
thought -- a condition which lasted long. Then, very suddenly, thought, and shuddering terror, and earnest
endeavor to comprehend my true state. Then a strong desire to lapse into insensibility. Then a rushing
revival of soul and a successful effort to move. And now a full memory of the trial, of the judges, of the
sable draperies, of the sentence, of the sickness, of the swoon. Then entire forgetfulness of all that
followed; of all that a later day and much earnestness of endeavor have enabled me vaguely to recall.
So far, I had not opened my eyes. I felt that I lay upon my back, unbound. I reached out my hand, and it
fell heavily upon something damp and hard. There I suffered it to remain for many minutes, while I strove
to imagine where and what I could be. I longed, yet dared not to employ my vision. I dreaded the first
glance at objects around me. It was not that I feared to look upon things horrible, but that I grew aghast
lest there should be nothing to see. At length, with a wild desperation at heart, I quickly unclosed my
eyes. My worst thoughts, then, were confirmed. The blackness of eternal night encompassed me. I
struggled for breath. The intensity of the darkness seemed to oppress and stifle me. The atmosphere was
intolerably close. I still lay quietly, and made effort to exercise my reason. I brought to mind the
inquisitorial proceedings, and attempted from that point to deduce my real condition. The sentence had
passed; and it appeared to me that a very long interval of time had since elapsed. Yet not for a moment
did I suppose myself actually dead. Such a supposition, notwithstanding what we read in fiction, is
altogether inconsistent with real existence; -- but where and in what state was I? The condemned to
death, I knew, perished usually at the autos-da-fe, and one of these had been held on the very night of the
day of my trial. Had I been remanded to my dungeon, to await the next sacrifice, which would not take
place for many months? This I at once saw could not be. Victims had been in immediate demand.
Moreover, my dungeon, as well as all the condemned cells at Toledo, had stone floors, and light was not
altogether excluded.
A fearful idea now suddenly drove the blood in torrents upon my heart, and for a brief period, I once more
relapsed into insensibility. Upon recovering, I at once started to my feet, trembling convulsively in every
fibre. I thrust my arms wildly above and around me in all directions. I felt nothing; yet dreaded to move a
step, lest I should be impeded by the walls of a tomb. Perspiration burst from every pore, and stood in
cold big beads upon my forehead. The agony of suspense grew at length intolerable, and I cautiously
moved forward, with my arms extended, and my eyes straining from their sockets, in the hope of catching
some faint ray of light. I proceeded for many paces; but still all was blackness and vacancy. I breathed
more freely. It seemed evident that mine was not, at least, the most hideous of fates.
And now, as I still continued to step cautiously onward, there came thronging upon my recollection a
thousand vague rumors of the horrors of Toledo. Of the dungeons there had been strange things narrated
-- fables I had always deemed them -- but yet strange, and too ghastly to repeat, save in a whisper. Was I
left to perish of starvation in this subterranean world of darkness; or what fate, perhaps even more
fearful, awaited me? That the result would be death, and a death of more than customary bitterness, I
knew too well the character of my judges to doubt. The mode and the hour were all that occupied or
distracted me.
My outstretched hands at length encountered some solid obstruction. It was a wall, seemingly of stone
masonry -- very smooth, slimy, and cold. I followed it up; stepping with all the careful distrust with which
certain antique narratives had inspired me. This process, however, afforded me no means of ascertaining
the dimensions of my dungeon; as I might make its circuit, and return to the point whence I set out,
without being aware of the fact; so perfectly uniform seemed the wall. I therefore sought the knife which
had been in my pocket, when led into the inquisitorial chamber; but it was gone; my clothes had been
exchanged for a wrapper of coarse serge. I had thought of forcing the blade in some minute crevice of the
masonry, so as to identify my point of departure. The difficulty, nevertheless, was but trivial; although, in
the disorder of my fancy, it seemed at first insuperable. I tore a part of the hem from the robe and placed
the fragment at full length, and at right angles to the wall. In groping my way around the prison, I could
not fail to encounter this rag upon completing the circuit. So, at least I thought: but I had not counted
upon the extent of the dungeon, or upon my own weakness. The ground was moist and slippery. I
staggered onward for some time, when I stumbled and fell. My excessive fatigue induced me to remain
prostrate; and sleep soon overtook me as I lay.
Upon awaking, and stretching forth an arm, I found beside me a loaf and a pitcher with water. I was too
much exhausted to reflect upon this circumstance, but ate and drank with avidity. Shortly afterward, I
resumed my tour around the prison, and with much toil came at last upon the fragment of the serge. Up
to the period when I fell I had counted fifty-two paces, and upon resuming my walk, I had counted forty-
eight more; -- when I arrived at the rag. There were in all, then, a hundred paces; and, admitting two
paces to the yard, I presumed the dungeon to be fifty yards in circuit. I had met, however, with many
angles in the wall, and thus I could form no guess at the shape of the vault; for vault I could not help
supposing it to be.
I had little object -- certainly no hope these researches; but a vague curiosity prompted me to continue
them. Quitting the wall, I resolved to cross the area of the enclosure. At first I proceeded with extreme
caution, for the floor, although seemingly of solid material, was treacherous with slime. At length,
however, I took courage, and did not hesitate to step firmly; endeavoring to cross in as direct a line as
possible. I had advanced some ten or twelve paces in this manner, when the remnant of the torn hem of
my robe became entangled between my legs. I stepped on it, and fell violently on my face.
In the confusion attending my fall, I did not immediately apprehend a somewhat startling circumstance,
which yet, in a few seconds afterward, and while I still lay prostrate, arrested my attention. It was this --
my chin rested upon the floor of the prison, but my lips and the upper portion of my head, although
seemingly at a less elevation than the chin, touched nothing. At the same time my forehead seemed
bathed in a clammy vapor, and the peculiar smell of decayed fungus arose to my nostrils. I put forward my
arm, and shuddered to find that I had fallen at the very brink of a circular pit, whose extent, of course, I
had no means of ascertaining at the moment. Groping about the masonry just below the margin, I
succeeded in dislodging a small fragment, and let it fall into the abyss. For many seconds I hearkened to
its reverberations as it dashed against the sides of the chasm in its descent; at length there was a sullen
plunge into water, succeeded by loud echoes. At the same moment there came a sound resembling the
quick opening, and as rapid closing of a door overhead, while a faint gleam of light flashed suddenly
through the gloom, and as suddenly faded away.
I saw clearly the doom which had been prepared for me, and congratulated myself upon the timely
accident by which I had escaped. Another step before my fall, and the world had seen me no more. And
the death just avoided, was of that very character which I had regarded as fabulous and frivolous in the
tales respecting the Inquisition. To the victims of its tyranny, there was the choice of death with its direst
physical agonies, or death with its most hideous moral horrors. I had been reserved for the latter. By long
suffering my nerves had been unstrung, until I trembled at the sound of my own voice, and had become in
every respect a fitting subject for the species of torture which awaited me.
Shaking in every limb, I groped my way back to the wall; resolving there to perish rather than risk the
terrors of the wells, of which my imagination now pictured many in various positions about the dungeon.
In other conditions of mind I might have had courage to end my misery at once by a plunge into one of
these abysses; but now I was the veriest of cowards. Neither could I forget what I had read of these pits --
that the sudden extinction of life formed no part of their most horrible plan.
Agitation of spirit kept me awake for many long hours; but at length I again slumbered. Upon arousing, I
found by my side, as before, a loaf and a pitcher of water. A burning thirst consumed me, and I emptied
the vessel at a draught. It must have been drugged; for scarcely had I drunk, before I became irresistibly
drowsy. A deep sleep fell upon me -- a sleep like that of death. How long it lasted of course, I know not;
but when, once again, I unclosed my eyes, the objects around me were visible. By a wild sulphurous
lustre, the origin of which I could not at first determine, I was enabled to see the extent and aspect of the
prison.
In its size I had been greatly mistaken. The whole circuit of its walls did not exceed twenty-five yards. For
some minutes this fact occasioned me a world of vain trouble; vain indeed! for what could be of less
importance, under the terrible circumstances which environed me, then the mere dimensions of my
dungeon? But my soul took a wild interest in trifles, and I busied myself in endeavors to account for the
error I had committed in my measurement. The truth at length flashed upon me. In my first attempt at
exploration I had counted fifty-two paces, up to the period when I fell; I must then have been within a
pace or two of the fragment of serge; in fact, I had nearly performed the circuit of the vault. I then slept,
and upon awaking, I must have returned upon my steps -- thus supposing the circuit nearly double what it
actually was. My confusion of mind prevented me from observing that I began my tour with the wall to
the left, and ended it with the wall to the right.
I had been deceived, too, in respect to the shape of the enclosure. In feeling my way I had found many
angles, and thus deduced an idea of great irregularity; so potent is the effect of total darkness upon one
arousing from lethargy or sleep! The angles were simply those of a few slight depressions, or niches, at
odd intervals. The general shape of the prison was square. What I had taken for masonry seemed now to
be iron, or some other metal, in huge plates, whose sutures or joints occasioned the depression. The
entire surface of this metallic enclosure was rudely daubed in all the hideous and repulsive devices to
which the charnel superstition of the monks has given rise. The figures of fiends in aspects of menace,
with skeleton forms, and other more really fearful images, overspread and disfigured the walls. I
observed that the outlines of these monstrosities were sufficiently distinct, but that the colors seemed
faded and blurred, as if from the effects of a damp atmosphere. I now noticed the floor, too, which was of
stone. In the centre yawned the circular pit from whose jaws I had escaped; but it was the only one in the
dungeon.
All this I saw indistinctly and by much effort: for my personal condition had been greatly changed during
slumber. I now lay upon my back, and at full length, on a species of low framework of wood. To this I was
securely bound by a long strap resembling a surcingle. It passed in many convolutions about my limbs
and body, leaving at liberty only my head, and my left arm to such extent that I could, by dint of much
exertion, supply myself with food from an earthen dish which lay by my side on the floor. I saw, to my
horror, that the pitcher had been removed. I say to my horror; for I was consumed with intolerable thirst.
This thirst it appeared to be the design of my persecutors to stimulate: for the food in the dish was meat
pungently seasoned.
Looking upward, I surveyed the ceiling of my prison. It was some thirty or forty feet overhead, and
constructed much as the side walls. In one of its panels a very singular figure riveted my whole attention.
It was the painted figure of Time as he is commonly represented, save that, in lieu of a scythe, he held
what, at a casual glance, I supposed to be the pictured image of a huge pendulum such as we see on
antique clocks. There was something, however, in the appearance of this machine which caused me to
regard it more attentively. While I gazed directly upward at it (for its position was immediately over my
own) I fancied that I saw it in motion. In an instant afterward the fancy was confirmed. Its sweep was
brief, and of course slow. I watched it for some minutes, somewhat in fear, but more in wonder. Wearied at
length with observing its dull movement, I turned my eyes upon the other objects in the cell.
A slight noise attracted my notice, and, looking to the floor, I saw several enormous rats traversing it.
They had issued from the well, which lay just within view to my right. Even then, while I gazed, they came
up in troops, hurriedly, with ravenous eyes, allured by the scent of the meat. From this it required much
effort and attention to scare them away.
It might have been half an hour, perhaps even an hour, (for I could take but imperfect note of time) before
I again cast my eyes upward. What I then saw confounded and amazed me. The sweep of the pendulum
had increased in extent by nearly a yard. As a natural consequence, its velocity was also much greater.
But what mainly disturbed me was the idea that had perceptibly descended. I now observed -- with what
horror it is needless to say -- that its nether extremity was formed of a crescent of glittering steel, about a
foot in length from horn to horn; the horns upward, and the under edge evidently as keen as that of a
razor. Like a razor also, it seemed massy and heavy, tapering from the edge into a solid and broad
structure above. It was appended to a weighty rod of brass, and the whole hissed as it swung through the
air.
I could no longer doubt the doom prepared for me by monkish ingenuity in torture. My cognizance of the
pit had become known to the inquisitorial agents -- the pit whose horrors had been destined for so bold a
recusant as myself -- the pit, typical of hell, and regarded by rumor as the Ultima Thule of all their
punishments. The plunge into this pit I had avoided by the merest of accidents, I knew that surprise, or
entrapment into torment, formed an important portion of all the grotesquerie of these dungeon deaths.
Having failed to fall, it was no part of the demon plan to hurl me into the abyss; and thus (there being no
alternative) a different and a milder destruction awaited me. Milder! I half smiled in my agony as I
thought of such application of such a term.
What boots it to tell of the long, long hours of horror more than mortal, during which I counted the
rushing vibrations of the steel! Inch by inch -- line by line -- with a descent only appreciable at intervals
that seemed ages -- down and still down it came! Days passed -- it might have been that many days passed
-- ere it swept so closely over me as to fan me with its acrid breath. The odor of the sharp steel forced
itself into my nostrils. I prayed -- I wearied heaven with my prayer for its more speedy descent. I grew
frantically mad, and struggled to force myself upward against the sweep of the fearful scimitar. And then I
fell suddenly calm, and lay smiling at the glittering death, as a child at some rare bauble.
There was another interval of utter insensibility; it was brief; for, upon again lapsing into life there had
been no perceptible descent in the pendulum. But it might have been long; for I knew there were demons
who took note of my swoon, and who could have arrested the vibration at pleasure. Upon my recovery,
too, I felt very -- oh, inexpressibly sick and weak, as if through long inanition. Even amid the agonies of
that period, the human nature craved food. With painful effort I outstretched my left arm as far as my
bonds permitted, and took possession of the small remnant which had been spared me by the rats. As I
put a portion of it within my lips, there rushed to my mind a half formed thought of joy -- of hope. Yet what
business had I with hope? It was, as I say, a half formed thought -- man has many such which are never
completed. I felt that it was of joy -- of hope; but felt also that it had perished in its formation. In vain I
struggled to perfect -- to regain it. Long suffering had nearly annihilated all my ordinary powers of mind. I
was an imbecile -- an idiot.
The vibration of the pendulum was at right angles to my length. I saw that the crescent was designed to
cross the region of the heart. It would fray the serge of my robe -- it would return and repeat its
operations -- again -- and again. Notwithstanding terrifically wide sweep (some thirty feet or more) and
the its hissing vigor of its descent, sufficient to sunder these very walls of iron, still the fraying of my robe
would be all that, for several minutes, it would accomplish. And at this thought I paused. I dared not go
farther than this reflection. I dwelt upon it with a pertinacity of attention -- as if, in so dwelling, I could
arrest here the descent of the steel. I forced myself to ponder upon the sound of the crescent as it should
pass across the garment -- upon the peculiar thrilling sensation which the friction of cloth produces on
the nerves. I pondered upon all this frivolity until my teeth were on edge.
Down -- steadily down it crept. I took a frenzied pleasure in contrasting its downward with its lateral
velocity. To the right -- to the left -- far and wide -- with the shriek of a damned spirit; to my heart with the
stealthy pace of the tiger! I alternately laughed and howled as the one or the other idea grew
predominant.
Down -- certainly, relentlessly down! It vibrated within three inches of my bosom! I struggled violently,
furiously, to free my left arm. This was free only from the elbow to the hand. I could reach the latter, from
the platter beside me, to my mouth, with great effort, but no farther. Could I have broken the fastenings
above the elbow, I would have seized and attempted to arrest the pendulum. I might as well have
attempted to arrest an avalanche!
Down -- still unceasingly -- still inevitably down! I gasped and struggled at each vibration. I shrunk
convulsively at its every sweep. My eyes followed its outward or upward whirls with the eagerness of the
most unmeaning despair; they closed themselves spasmodically at the descent, although death would
have been a relief, oh! how unspeakable! Still I quivered in every nerve to think how slight a sinking of
the machinery would precipitate that keen, glistening axe upon my bosom. It was hope that prompted the
nerve to quiver -- the frame to shrink. It was hope -- the hope that triumphs on the rack -- that whispers to
the death-condemned even in the dungeons of the Inquisition.
I saw that some ten or twelve vibrations would bring the steel in actual contact with my robe, and with
this observation there suddenly came over my spirit all the keen, collected calmness of despair. For the
first time during many hours -- or perhaps days -- I thought. It now occurred to me that the bandage, or
surcingle, which enveloped me, was unique. I was tied by no separate cord. The first stroke of the
razorlike crescent athwart any portion of the band, would so detach it that it might be unwound from my
person by means of my left hand. But how fearful, in that case, the proximity of the steel! The result of
the slightest struggle how deadly! Was it likely, moreover, that the minions of the torturer had not
foreseen and provided for this possibility! Was it probable that the bandage crossed my bosom in the
track of the pendulum? Dreading to find my faint, and, as it seemed, in last hope frustrated, I so far
elevated my head as to obtain a distinct view of my breast. The surcingle enveloped my limbs and body
close in all directions -- save in the path of the destroying crescent.
Scarcely had I dropped my head back into its original position, when there flashed upon my mind what I
cannot better describe than as the unformed half of that idea of deliverance to which I have previously
alluded, and of which a moiety only floated indeterminately through my brain when I raised food to my
burning lips. The whole thought was now present -- feeble, scarcely sane, scarcely definite, -- but still
entire. I proceeded at once, with the nervous energy of despair, to attempt its execution.
For many hours the immediate vicinity of the low framework upon which I lay, had been literally
swarming with rats. They were wild, bold, ravenous; their red eyes glaring upon me as if they waited but
for motionlessness on my part to make me their prey. "To what food," I thought, "have they been
accustomed in the well?"
They had devoured, in spite of all my efforts to prevent them, all but a small remnant of the contents of
the dish. I had fallen into an habitual see-saw, or wave of the hand about the platter: and, at length, the
unconscious uniformity of the movement deprived it of effect. In their voracity the vermin frequently
fastened their sharp fangs in my fingers. With the particles of the oily and spicy viand which now
remained, I thoroughly rubbed the bandage wherever I could reach it; then, raising my hand from the
floor, I lay breathlessly still.
At first the ravenous animals were startled and terrified at the change -- at the cessation of movement.
They shrank alarmedly back; many sought the well. But this was only for a moment. I had not counted in
vain upon their voracity. Observing that I remained without motion, one or two of the boldest leaped upon
the frame-work, and smelt at the surcingle. This seemed the signal for a general rush. Forth from the well
they hurried in fresh troops. They clung to the wood -- they overran it, and leaped in hundreds upon my
person. The measured movement of the pendulum disturbed them not at all. Avoiding its strokes they
busied themselves with the anointed bandage. They pressed -- they swarmed upon me in ever
accumulating heaps. They writhed upon my throat; their cold lips sought my own; I was half stifled by
their thronging pressure; disgust, for which the world has no name, swelled my bosom, and chilled, with a
heavy clamminess, my heart. Yet one minute, and I felt that the struggle would be over. Plainly I
perceived the loosening of the bandage. I knew that in more than one place it must be already severed.
With a more than human resolution I lay still.
Nor had I erred in my calculations -- nor had I endured in vain. I at length felt that I was free. The
surcingle hung in ribands from my body. But the stroke of the pendulum already pressed upon my bosom.
It had divided the serge of the robe. It had cut through the linen beneath. Twice again it swung, and a
sharp sense of pain shot through every nerve. But the moment of escape had arrived. At a wave of my
hand my deliverers hurried tumultuously away. With a steady movement -- cautious, sidelong, shrinking,
and slow -- I slid from the embrace of the bandage and beyond the reach of the scimitar. For the moment,
at least, I was free.
Free! -- and in the grasp of the Inquisition! I had scarcely stepped from my wooden bed of horror upon
the stone floor of the prison, when the motion of the hellish machine ceased and I beheld it drawn up, by
some invisible force, through the ceiling. This was a lesson which I took desperately to heart. My every
motion was undoubtedly watched. Free! -- I had but escaped death in one form of agony, to be delivered
unto worse than death in some other. With that thought I rolled my eves nervously around on the barriers
of iron that hemmed me in. Something unusual -- some change which, at first, I could not appreciate
distinctly -- it was obvious, had taken place in the apartment. For many minutes of a dreamy and
trembling abstraction, I busied myself in vain, unconnected conjecture. During this period, I became
aware, for the first time, of the origin of the sulphurous light which illumined the cell. It proceeded from a
fissure, about half an inch in width, extending entirely around the prison at the base of the walls, which
thus appeared, and were, completely separated from the floor. I endeavored, but of course in vain, to look
through the aperture.
As I arose from the attempt, the mystery of the alteration in the chamber broke at once upon my
understanding. I have observed that, although the outlines of the figures upon the walls were sufficiently
distinct, yet the colors seemed blurred and indefinite. These colors had now assumed, and were
momentarily assuming, a startling and most intense brilliancy, that gave to the spectral and fiendish
portraitures an aspect that might have thrilled even firmer nerves than my own. Demon eyes, of a wild
and ghastly vivacity, glared upon me in a thousand directions, where none had been visible before, and
gleamed with the lurid lustre of a fire that I could not force my imagination to regard as unreal.
Unreal! -- Even while I breathed there came to my nostrils the breath of the vapour of heated iron! A
suffocating odour pervaded the prison! A deeper glow settled each moment in the eyes that glared at my
agonies! A richer tint of crimson diffused itself over the pictured horrors of blood. I panted! I gasped for
breath! There could be no doubt of the design of my tormentors -- oh! most unrelenting! oh! most
demoniac of men! I shrank from the glowing metal to the centre of the cell. Amid the thought of the fiery
destruction that impended, the idea of the coolness of the well came over my soul like balm. I rushed to
its deadly brink. I threw my straining vision below. The glare from the enkindled roof illumined its inmost
recesses. Yet, for a wild moment, did my spirit refuse to comprehend the meaning of what I saw. At length
it forced -- it wrestled its way into my soul -- it burned itself in upon my shuddering reason. -- Oh! for a
voice to speak! -- oh! horror! -- oh! any horror but this! With a shriek, I rushed from the margin, and
buried my face in my hands -- weeping bitterly.
The heat rapidly increased, and once again I looked up, shuddering as with a fit of the ague. There had
been a second change in the cell -- and now the change was obviously in the form. As before, it was in
vain that I, at first, endeavoured to appreciate or understand what was taking place. But not long was I
left in doubt. The Inquisitorial vengeance had been hurried by my two-fold escape, and there was to be no
more dallying with the King of Terrors. The room had been square. I saw that two of its iron angles were
now acute -- two, consequently, obtuse. The fearful difference quickly increased with a low rumbling or
moaning sound. In an instant the apartment had shifted its form into that of a lozenge. But the alteration
stopped not here-I neither hoped nor desired it to stop. I could have clasped the red walls to my bosom as
a garment of eternal peace. "Death," I said, "any death but that of the pit!" Fool! might I have not known
that into the pit it was the object of the burning iron to urge me? Could I resist its glow? or, if even that,
could I withstand its pressure And now, flatter and flatter grew the lozenge, with a rapidity that left me no
time for contemplation. Its centre, and of course, its greatest width, came just over the yawning gulf. I
shrank back -- but the closing walls pressed me resistlessly onward. At length for my seared and writhing
body there was no longer an inch of foothold on the firm floor of the prison. I struggled no more, but the
agony of my soul found vent in one loud, long, and final scream of despair. I felt that I tottered upon the
brink -- I averted my eyes --
There was a discordant hum of human voices! There was a loud blast as of many trumpets! There was a
harsh grating as of a thousand thunders! The fiery walls rushed back! An outstretched arm caught my
own as I fell, fainting, into the abyss. It was that of General Lasalle. The French army had entered Toledo.
The Inquisition was in the hands of its enemies.
THE POWER OF WORDS
AGATHOS. You have spoken nothing, my Oinos, for which pardon is to be demanded. Not even here is
knowledge thing of intuition. For wisdom, ask of the angels freely, that it may be given!
OINOS. But in this existence, I dreamed that I should be at once cognizant of all things, and thus at once
be happy in being cognizant of all.
AGATHOS. Ah, not in knowledge is happiness, but in the acquisition of knowledge! In for ever knowing,
we are for ever blessed; but to know all were the curse of a fiend.
AGATHOS. That (since he is The Most Happy) must be still the one thing unknown even to Him.
OINOS. But, since we grow hourly in knowledge, must not at last all things be known?
AGATHOS. Look down into the abysmal distances! -- attempt to force the gaze down the multitudinous
vistas of the stars, as we sweep slowly through them thus -- and thus -- and thus! Even the spiritual vision,
is it not at all points arrested by the continuous golden walls of the universe? -- the walls of the myriads of
the shining bodies that mere number has appeared to blend into unity?
AGATHOS. There are no dreams in Aidenn -- but it is here whispered that, of this infinity of matter, the
sole purpose is to afford infinite springs, at which the soul may allay the thirst to know, which is for ever
unquenchable within it -- since to quench it, would be to extinguish the soul's self. Question me then, my
Oinos, freely and without fear. Come! we will leave to the left the loud harmony of the Pleiades, and
swoop outward from the throne into the starry meadows beyond Orion, where, for pansies and violets,
and heart's -- ease, are the beds of the triplicate and triple -- tinted suns.
OINOS. And now, Agathos, as we proceed, instruct me! -- speak to me in the earth's familiar tones. I
understand not what you hinted to me, just now, of the modes or of the method of what, during mortality,
we were accustomed to call Creation. Do you mean to say that the Creator is not God?
OINOS. Explain.
AGATHOS. In the beginning only, he created. The seeming creatures which are now, throughout the
universe, so perpetually springing into being, can only be considered as the mediate or indirect, not as
the direct or immediate results of the Divine creative power.
OINOS. Among men, my Agathos, this idea would be considered heretical in the extreme.
OINOS. I can comprehend you thus far -- that certain operations of what we term Nature, or the natural
laws, will, under certain conditions, give rise to that which has all the appearance of creation. Shortly
before the final overthrow of the earth, there were, I well remember, many very successful experiments in
what some philosophers were weak enough to denominate the creation of animalculae.
AGATHOS. The cases of which you speak were, in fact, instances of the secondary creation -- and of the
only species of creation which has ever been, since the first word spoke into existence the first law.
OINOS. Are not the starry worlds that, from the abyss of nonentity, burst hourly forth into the heavens --
are not these stars, Agathos, the immediate handiwork of the King?
AGATHOS. Let me endeavor, my Oinos, to lead you, step by step, to the conception I intend. You are well
aware that, as no thought can perish, so no act is without infinite result. We moved our hands, for
example, when we were dwellers on the earth, and, in so doing, gave vibration to the atmosphere which
engirdled it. This vibration was indefinitely extended, till it gave impulse to every particle of the earth's
air, which thenceforward, and for ever, was actuated by the one movement of the hand. This fact the
mathematicians of our globe well knew. They made the special effects, indeed, wrought in the fluid by
special impulses, the subject of exact calculation -- so that it became easy to determine in what precise
period an impulse of given extent would engirdle the orb, and impress (for ever) every atom of the
atmosphere circumambient. Retrograding, they found no difficulty, from a given effect, under given
conditions, in determining the value of the original impulse. Now the mathematicians who saw that the
results of any given impulse were absolutely endless -- and who saw that a portion of these results were
accurately traceable through the agency of algebraic analysis -- who saw, too, the facility of the
retrogradation -- these men saw, at the same time, that this species of analysis itself, had within itself a
capacity for indefinite progress -- that there were no bounds conceivable to its advancement and
applicability, except within the intellect of him who advanced or applied it. But at this point our
mathematicians paused.
AGATHOS. Because there were some considerations of deep interest beyond. It was deducible from what
they knew, that to a being of infinite understanding -- one to whom the perfection of the algebraic analysis
lay unfolded -- there could be no difficulty in tracing every impulse given the air -- and the ether through
the air -- to the remotest consequences at any even infinitely remote epoch of time. It is indeed
demonstrable that every such impulse given the air, must, in the end, impress every individual thing that
exists within the universe; -- and the being of infinite understanding -- the being whom we have imagined
-- might trace the remote undulations of the impulse -- trace them upward and onward in their influences
upon all particles of an matter -- upward and onward for ever in their modifications of old forms -- or, in
other words, in their creation of new -- until he found them reflected -- unimpressive at last -- back from
the throne of the Godhead. And not only could such a thing do this, but at any epoch, should a given
result be afforded him -- should one of these numberless comets, for example, be presented to his
inspection -- he could have no difficulty in determining, by the analytic retrogradation, to what original
impulse it was due. This power of retrogradation in its absolute fulness and perfection -- this faculty of
referring at all epochs, all effects to all causes -- is of course the prerogative of the Deity alone -- but in
every variety of degree, short of the absolute perfection, is the power itself exercised by the whole host of
the Angelic intelligences.
AGATHOS. In speaking of the air, I referred only to the earth; but the general proposition has reference to
impulses upon the ether -- which, since it pervades, and alone pervades all space, is thus the great
medium of creation.
AGATHOS. It must: but a true philosophy has long taught that the source of all motion is thought -- and
the source of all thought is-
OINOS. God.
AGATHOS. I have spoken to you, Oinos, as to a child of the fair Earth which lately perished -- of impulses
upon the atmosphere of the Earth.
AGATHOS. And while I thus spoke, did there not cross your mind some thought of the physical power of
words? Is not every word an impulse on the air?
OINOS. But why, Agathos, do you weep -- and why, oh why do your wings droop as we hover above this
fair star -- which is the greenest and yet most terrible of all we have encountered in our flight? Its
brilliant flowers look like a fairy dream -- but its fierce volcanoes like the passions of a turbulent heart.
AGATHOS. They are! -- they are! This wild star -- it is now three centuries since, with clasped hands, and
with streaming eyes, at the feet of my beloved -- I spoke it -- with a few passionate sentences -- into birth.
Its brilliant flowers are the dearest of all unfulfilled dreams, and its raging volcanoes are the passions of
the most turbulent and unhallowed of hearts.
A PREDICAMENT
IT was a quiet and still afternoon when I strolled forth in the goodly city of Edina. The confusion and
bustle in the streets were terrible. Men were talking. Women were screaming. Children were choking.
Pigs were whistling. Carts they rat tled. Bulls they bellowed. Cows they lowed. Horses they neighed. Cats
they caterwauled. Dogs they danced. Danced! Could it then be possible? Danced! Alas, thought I, my
dancing days are over! Thus it is ever. What a host of gloomy recollections will ever and anon be
awakened in the mind of genius and imaginative contemplation, especially of a genius doomed to the
everlasting and eternal, and continual, and, as one might say, the -- continued -- yes, the continued and
continuous, bitter, harassing, disturbing, and, if I may be allowed the expression, the very disturbing
influence of the serene, and godlike, and heavenly, and exalted, and elevated, and purifying effect of what
may be rightly termed the most enviable, the most truly enviable -- nay! the most benignly beautiful, the
most deliciously ethereal, and, as it were, the most pretty (if I may use so bold an expression) thing
(pardon me, gentle reader!) in the world -- but I am always led away by my feelings. In such a mind, I
repeat, what a host of recollections are stirred up by a trifle! The dogs danced! I -- I could not! They
frisked -- I wept. They capered -- I sobbed aloud. Touching circumstances! which cannot fail to bring to
the recollection of the classical reader that exquisite passage in relation to the fitness of things, which is
to be found in the commencement of the third volume of that admirable and venerable Chinese novel the
Jo-Go-Slow.
In my solitary walk through, the city I had two humble but faithful companions. Diana, my poodle!
sweetest of creatures! She had a quantity of hair over her one eye, and a blue ribband tied fashionably
around her neck. Diana was not more than five inches in height, but her head was somewhat bigger than
her body, and her tail being cut off exceedingly close, gave an air of injured innocence to the interesting
animal which rendered her a favorite with all.
And Pompey, my negro! -- sweet Pompey! how shall I ever forget thee? I had taken Pompey's arm. He was
three feet in height (I like to be particular) and about seventy, or perhaps eighty, years of age. He had
bow-legs and was corpulent. His mouth should not be called small, nor his ears short. His teeth, however,
were like pearl, and his large full eyes were deliciously white. Nature had endowed him with no neck, and
had placed his ankles (as usual with that race) in the middle of the upper portion of the feet. He was clad
with a striking simplicity. His sole garments were a stock of nine inches in height, and a nearly -- new
drab overcoat which had formerly been in the service of the tall, stately, and illustrious Dr. Moneypenny.
It was a good overcoat. It was well cut. It was well made. The coat was nearly new. Pompey held it up out
of the dirt with both hands.
There were three persons in our party, and two of them have already been the subject of remark. There
was a third -- that person was myself. I am the Signora Psyche Zenobia. I am not Suky Snobbs. My
appearance is commanding. On the memorable occasion of which I speak I was habited in a crimson satin
dress, with a sky-blue Arabian mantelet. And the dress had trimmings of green agraffas, and seven
graceful flounces of the orange-colored auricula. I thus formed the third of the party. There was the
poodle. There was Pompey. There was myself. We were three. Thus it is said there were originally but
three Furies -- Melty, Nimmy, and Hetty -- Meditation, Memory, and Fiddling.
Leaning upon the arm of the gallant Pompey, and attended at a respectable distance by Diana, I
proceeded down one of the populous and very pleasant streets of the now deserted Edina. On a sudden,
there presented itself to view a church -- a Gothic cathedral -- vast, venerable, and with a tall steeple,
which towered into the sky. What madness now possessed me? Why did I rush upon my fate? I was seized
with an uncontrollable desire to ascend the giddy pinnacle, and then survey the immense extent of the
city. The door of the cathedral stood invitingly open. My destiny prevailed. I entered the ominous archway.
Where then was my guardian angel? -- if indeed such angels there be. If! Distressing monosyllable! what
world of mystery, and meaning, and doubt, and uncertainty is there involved in thy two letters! I entered
the ominous archway! I entered; and, without injury to my orange-colored auriculas, I passed beneath the
portal, and emerged within the vestibule. Thus it is said the immense river Alfred passed, unscathed, and
unwetted, beneath the sea.
I thought the staircase would never have an end. Round! Yes, they went round and up, and round and up
and round and up, until I could not help surmising, with the sagacious Pompey, upon whose supporting
arm I leaned in all the confidence of early affection -- I could not help surmising that the upper end of the
continuous spiral ladder had been accidentally, or perhaps designedly, removed. I paused for breath; and,
in the meantime, an accident occurred of too momentous a nature in a moral, and also in a metaphysical
point of view, to be passed over without notice. It appeared to me -- indeed I was quite confident of the
fact -- I could not be mistaken -- no! I had, for some moments, carefully and anxiously observed the
motions of my Diana -- I say that I could not be mistaken -- Diana smelt a rat! At once I called Pompey's
attention to the subject, and he -- he agreed with me. There was then no longer any reasonable room for
doubt. The rat had been smelled -- and by Diana. Heavens! shall I ever forget the intense excitement of
the moment? Alas! what is the boasted intellect of man? The rat! -- it was there -- that is to say, it was
somewhere. Diana smelled the rat. I -- I could not! Thus it is said the Prussian Isis has, for some persons,
a sweet and very powerful perfume, while to others it is perfectly scentless.
The staircase had been surmounted, and there were now only three or four more upward steps
intervening between us and the summit. We still ascended, and now only one step remained. One step!
One little, little step! Upon one such little step in the great staircase of human life how vast a sum of
human happiness or misery depends! I thought of myself, then of Pompey, and then of the mysterious and
inexplicable destiny which surrounded us. I thought of Pompey! -- alas, I thought of love! I thought of my
many false steps which have been taken, and may be taken again. I resolved to be more cautious, more
reserved. I abandoned the arm of Pompey, and, without his assistance, surmounted the one remaining
step, and gained the chamber of the belfry. I was followed immediately afterward by my poodle. Pompey
alone remained behind. I stood at the head of the staircase, and encouraged him to ascend. He stretched
forth to me his hand, and unfortunately in so doing was forced to abandon his firm hold upon the
overcoat. Will the gods never cease their persecution? The overcoat is dropped, and, with one of his feet,
Pompey stepped upon the long and trailing skirt of the overcoat. He stumbled and fell -- this consequence
was inevitable. He fell forward, and, with his accursed head, striking me full in the -- in the breast,
precipitated me headlong, together with himself, upon the hard, filthy, and detestable floor of the belfry.
But my revenge was sure, sudden, and complete. Seizing him furiously by the wool with both hands, I tore
out a vast quantity of black, and crisp, and curling material, and tossed it from me with every
manifestation of disdain. It fell among the ropes of the belfry and remained. Pompey arose, and said no
word. But he regarded me piteously with his large eyes and -- sighed. Ye Gods -- that sigh! It sunk into my
heart. And the hair -- the wool! Could I have reached that wool I would have bathed it with my tears, in
testimony of regret. But alas! it was now far beyond my grasp. As it dangled among the cordage of the
bell, I fancied it alive. I fancied that it stood on end with indignation. Thus the happy-dandy Flos Aeris of
Java bears, it is said, a beautiful flower, which will live when pulled up by the roots. The natives suspend it
by a cord from the ceiling and enjoy its fragrance for years.
Our quarrel was now made up, and we looked about the room for an aperture through which to survey
the city of Edina. Windows there were none. The sole light admitted into the gloomy chamber proceeded
from a square opening, about a foot in diameter, at a height of about seven feet from the floor. Yet what
will the energy of true genius not effect? I resolved to clamber up to this hole. A vast quantity of wheels,
pinions, and other cabalistic -- looking machinery stood opposite the hole, close to it; and through the hole
there passed an iron rod from the machinery. Between the wheels and the wall where the hole lay there
was barely room for my body -- yet I was desperate, and determined to persevere. I called Pompey to my
side.
"You perceive that aperture, Pompey. I wish to look through it. You will stand here just beneath the hole --
so. Now, hold out one of your hands, Pompey, and let me step upon it -- thus. Now, the other hand,
Pompey, and with its aid I will get upon your shoulders."
He did every thing I wished, and I found, upon getting up, that I could easily pass my head and neck
through the aperture. The prospect was sublime. Nothing could be more magnificent. I merely paused a
moment to bid Diana behave herself, and assure Pompey that I would be considerate and bear as lightly
as possible upon his shoulders. I told him I would be tender of his feelings -- ossi tender que beefsteak.
Having done this justice to my faithful friend, I gave myself up with great zest and enthusiasm to the
enjoyment of the scene which so obligingly spread itself out before my eyes.
Upon this subject, however, I shall forbear to dilate. I will not describe the city of Edinburgh. Every one
has been to the city of Edinburgh. Every one has been to Edinburgh -- the classic Edina. I will confine
myself to the momentous details of my own lamentable adventure. Having, in some measure, satisfied my
curiosity in regard to the extent, situation, and general appearance of the city, I had leisure to survey the
church in which I was, and the delicate architecture of the steeple. I observed that the aperture through
which I had thrust my head was an opening in the dial-plate of a gigantic clock, and must have appeared,
from the street, as a large key-hole, such as we see in the face of the French watches. No doubt the true
object was to admit the arm of an attendant, to adjust, when necessary, the hands of the clock from
within. I observed also, with surprise, the immense size of these hands, the longest of which could not
have been less than ten feet in length, and, where broadest, eight or nine inches in breadth. They were of
solid steel apparently, and their edges appeared to be sharp. Having noticed these particulars, and some
others, I again turned my eyes upon the glorious prospect below, and soon became absorbed in
contemplation.
From this, after some minutes, I was aroused by the voice of Pompey, who declared that he could stand it
no longer, and requested that I would be so kind as to come down. This was unreasonable, and I told him
so in a speech of some length. He replied, but with an evident misunderstanding of my ideas upon the
subject. I accordingly grew angry, and told him in plain words, that he was a fool, that he had committed
an ignoramus e-clench-eye, that his notions were mere insommary Bovis, and his words little better than
an ennemywerrybor'em. With this he appeared satisfied, and I resumed my contemplations.
It might have been half an hour after this altercation when, as I was deeply absorbed in the heavenly
scenery beneath me, I was startled by something very cold which pressed with a gentle pressure on the
back of my neck. It is needless to say that I felt inexpressibly alarmed. I knew that Pompey was beneath
my feet, and that Diana was sitting, according to my explicit directions, upon her hind legs, in the farthest
corner of the room. What could it be? Alas! I but too soon discovered. Turning my head gently to one side,
I perceived, to my extreme horror, that the huge, glittering, scimetar-like minute-hand of the clock had, in
the course of its hourly revolution, descended upon my neck. There was, I knew, not a second to be lost. I
pulled back at once -- but it was too late. There was no chance of forcing my head through the mouth of
that terrible trap in which it was so fairly caught, and which grew narrower and narrower with a rapidity
too horrible to be conceived. The agony of that moment is not to be imagined. I threw up my hands and
endeavored, with all my strength, to force upward the ponderous iron bar. I might as well have tried to lift
the cathedral itself. Down, down, down it came, closer and yet closer. I screamed to Pompey for aid; but
he said that I had hurt his feelings by calling him 'an ignorant old squint-eye:' I yelled to Diana; but she
only said 'bow-wow-wow,' and that I had told her 'on no account to stir from the corner.' Thus I had no
relief to expect from my associates.
Meantime the ponderous and terrific Scythe of Time (for I now discovered the literal import of that
classical phrase) had not stopped, nor was it likely to stop, in its career. Down and still down, it came. It
had already buried its sharp edge a full inch in my flesh, and my sensations grew indistinct and confused.
At one time I fancied myself in Philadelphia with the stately Dr. Moneypenny, at another in the back parlor
of Mr. Blackwood receiving his invaluable instructions. And then again the sweet recollection of better
and earlier times came over me, and I thought of that happy period when the world was not all a desert,
and Pompey not altogether cruel.
The ticking of the machinery amused me. Amused me, I say, for my sensations now bordered upon perfect
happiness, and the most trifling circumstances afforded me pleasure. The eternal click-clak, click-clak,
click-clak of the clock was the most melodious of music in my ears, and occasionally even put me in mind
of the graceful sermonic harangues of Dr. Ollapod. Then there were the great figures upon the dial-plate -
- how intelligent how intellectual, they all looked! And presently they took to dancing the Mazurka, and I
think it was the figure V. who performed the most to my satisfaction. She was evidently a lady of
breeding. None of your swaggerers, and nothing at all indelicate in her motions. She did the pirouette to
admiration -- whirling round upon her apex. I made an endeavor to hand her a chair, for I saw that she
appeared fatigued with her exertions -- and it was not until then that I fully perceived my lamentable
situation. Lamentable indeed! The bar had buried itself two inches in my neck. I was aroused to a sense of
exquisite pain. I prayed for death, and, in the agony of the moment, could not help repeating those
exquisite verses of the poet Miguel De Cervantes:
But now a new horror presented itself, and one indeed sufficient to startle the strongest nerves. My eyes,
from the cruel pressure of the machine, were absolutely starting from their sockets. While I was thinking
how I should possibly manage without them, one actually tumbled out of my head, and, rolling down the
steep side of the steeple, lodged in the rain gutter which ran along the eaves of the main building. The
loss of the eye was not so much as the insolent air of independence and contempt with which it regarded
me after it was out. There it lay in the gutter just under my nose, and the airs it gave itself would have
been ridiculous had they not been disgusting. Such a winking and blinking were never before seen. This
behavior on the part of my eye in the gutter was not only irritating on account of its manifest insolence
and shameful ingratitude, but was also exceedingly inconvenient on account of the sympathy which
always exists between two eyes of the same head, however far apart. I was forced, in a manner, to wink
and to blink, whether I would or not, in exact concert with the scoundrelly thing that lay just under my
nose. I was presently relieved, however, by the dropping out of the other eye. In falling it took the same
direction (possibly a concerted plot) as its fellow. Both rolled out of the gutter together, and in truth I was
very glad to get rid of them.
The bar was now four inches and a half deep in my neck, and there was only a little bit of skin to cut
through. My sensations were those of entire happiness, for I felt that in a few minutes, at farthest, I
should be relieved from my disagreeable situation. And in this expectation I was not at all deceived. At
twenty-five minutes past five in the afternoon, precisely, the huge minute-hand had proceeded sufficiently
far on its terrible revolution to sever the small remainder of my neck. I was not sorry to see the head
which had occasioned me so much embarrassment at length make a final separation from my body. It first
rolled down the side of the steeple, then lodge, for a few seconds, in the gutter, and then made its way,
with a plunge, into the middle of the street.
I will candidly confess that my feelings were now of the most singular -- nay, of the most mysterious, the
most perplexing and incomprehensible character. My senses were here and there at one and the same
moment. With my head I imagined, at one time, that I, the head, was the real Signora Psyche Zenobia -- at
another I felt convinced that myself, the body, was the proper identity. To clear my ideas on this topic I felt
in my pocket for my snuff-box, but, upon getting it, and endeavoring to apply a pinch of its grateful
contents in the ordinary manner, I became immediately aware of my peculiar deficiency, and threw the
box at once down to my head. It took a pinch with great satisfaction, and smiled me an acknowledgement
in return. Shortly afterward it made me a speech, which I could hear but indistinctly without ears. I
gathered enough, however, to know that it was astonished at my wishing to remain alive under such
circumstances. In the concluding sentences it quoted the noble words of Ariosto--
And have a combat tenty erry morty; thus comparing me to the hero who, in the heat of the combat, not
perceiving that he was dead, continued to contest the battle with inextinguishable valor. There was
nothing now to prevent my getting down from my elevation, and I did so. What it was that Pompey saw so
very peculiar in my appearance I have never yet been able to find out. The fellow opened his mouth from
ear to ear, and shut his two eyes as if he were endeavoring to crack nuts between the lids. Finally,
throwing off his overcoat, he made one spring for the staircase and disappeared. I hurled after the
scoundrel these vehement words of Demosthenes-
Andrew O'Phlegethon, you really make haste to fly, and then turned to the darling of my heart, to the one-
eyed! the shaggy-haired Diana. Alas! what a horrible vision affronted my eyes? Was that a rat I saw
skulking into his hole? Are these the picked bones of the little angel who has been cruelly devoured by the
monster? Ye gods! and what do I behold -- is that the departed spirit, the shade, the ghost, of my beloved
puppy, which I perceive sitting with a grace so melancholy, in the corner? Hearken! for she speaks, and,
heavens! it is in the German of Schiller-
"Unt stubby duk, so stubby dun Duk she! duk she!" Alas! and are not her words too true?
Sweet creature! she too has sacrificed herself in my behalf. Dogless, niggerless, headless, what now
remains for the unhappy Signora Psyche Zenobia? Alas -- nothing! I have done.
THE PREMATURE BURIAL
THERE are certain themes of which the interest is all-absorbing, but which are too entirely horrible for
the purposes of legitimate fiction. These the mere romanticist must eschew, if he do not wish to offend or
to disgust. They are with propriety handled only when the severity and majesty of Truth sanctify and
sustain them. We thrill, for ex ample, with the most intense of "pleasurable pain" over the accounts of the
Passage of the Beresina, of the Earthquake at Lisbon, of the Plague at London, of the Massacre of St.
Bartholomew, or of the stifling of the hundred and twenty-three prisoners in the Black Hole at Calcutta.
But in these accounts it is the fact - -- it is the reality - -- it is the history which excites. As inventions, we
should regard them with simple abhorrence.
I have mentioned some few of the more prominent and august calamities on record; but in these it is the
extent, not less than the character of the calamity, which so vividly impresses the fancy. I need not remind
the reader that, from the long and weird catalogue of human miseries, I might have selected many
individual instances more replete with essential suffering than any of these vast generalities of disaster.
The true wretchedness, indeed -- the ultimate woe - -- is particular, not diffuse. That the ghastly extremes
of agony are endured by man the unit, and never by man the mass - -- for this let us thank a merciful God!
To be buried while alive is, beyond question, the most terrific of these extremes which has ever fallen to
the lot of mere mortality. That it has frequently, very frequently, so fallen will scarcely be denied by those
who think. The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say
where the one ends, and where the other begins? We know that there are diseases in which occur total
cessations of all the apparent functions of vitality, and yet in which these cessations are merely
suspensions, properly so called. They are only temporary pauses in the incomprehensible mechanism. A
certain period elapses, and some unseen mysterious principle again sets in motion the magic pinions and
the wizard wheels. The silver cord was not for ever loosed, nor the golden bowl irreparably broken. But
where, meantime, was the soul?
Apart, however, from the inevitable conclusion, a priori that such causes must produce such effects - --
that the well-known occurrence of such cases of suspended animation must naturally give rise, now and
then, to premature interments -- apart from this consideration, we have the direct testimony of medical
and ordinary experience to prove that a vast number of such interments have actually taken place. I
might refer at once, if necessary to a hundred well authenticated instances. One of very remarkable
character, and of which the circumstances may be fresh in the memory of some of my readers, occurred,
not very long ago, in the neighboring city of Baltimore, where it occasioned a painful, intense, and widely-
extended excitement. The wife of one of the most respectable citizens-a lawyer of eminence and a
member of Congress -- was seized with a sudden and unaccountable illness, which completely baffled the
skill of her physicians. After much suffering she died, or was supposed to die. No one suspected, indeed,
or had reason to suspect, that she was not actually dead. She presented all the ordinary appearances of
death. The face assumed the usual pinched and sunken outline. The lips were of the usual marble pallor.
The eyes were lustreless. There was no warmth. Pulsation had ceased. For three days the body was
preserved unburied, during which it had acquired a stony rigidity. The funeral, in short, was hastened, on
account of the rapid advance of what was supposed to be decomposition.
The lady was deposited in her family vault, which, for three subsequent years, was undisturbed. At the
expiration of this term it was opened for the reception of a sarcophagus; - -- but, alas! how fearful a shock
awaited the husband, who, personally, threw open the door! As its portals swung outwardly back, some
white-apparelled object fell rattling within his arms. It was the skeleton of his wife in her yet unmoulded
shroud.
A careful investigation rendered it evident that she had revived within two days after her entombment;
that her struggles within the coffin had caused it to fall from a ledge, or shelf to the floor, where it was so
broken as to permit her escape. A lamp which had been accidentally left, full of oil, within the tomb, was
found empty; it might have been exhausted, however, by evaporation. On the uttermost of the steps which
led down into the dread chamber was a large fragment of the coffin, with which, it seemed, that she had
endeavored to arrest attention by striking the iron door. While thus occupied, she probably swooned, or
possibly died, through sheer terror; and, in failing, her shroud became entangled in some iron -- work
which projected interiorly. Thus she remained, and thus she rotted, erect.
In the year 1810, a case of living inhumation happened in France, attended with circumstances which go
far to warrant the assertion that truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction. The heroine of the story was a
Mademoiselle Victorine Lafourcade, a young girl of illustrious family, of wealth, and of great personal
beauty. Among her numerous suitors was Julien Bossuet, a poor litterateur, or journalist of Paris. His
talents and general amiability had recommended him to the notice of the heiress, by whom he seems to
have been truly beloved; but her pride of birth decided her, finally, to reject him, and to wed a Monsieur
Renelle, a banker and a diplomatist of some eminence. After marriage, however, this gentleman
neglected, and, perhaps, even more positively ill-treated her. Having passed with him some wretched
years, she died, - -- at least her condition so closely resembled death as to deceive every one who saw her.
She was buried - -- not in a vault, but in an ordinary grave in the village of her nativity. Filled with despair,
and still inflamed by the memory of a profound attachment, the lover journeys from the capital to the
remote province in which the village lies, with the romantic purpose of disinterring the corpse, and
possessing himself of its luxuriant tresses. He reaches the grave. At midnight he unearths the coffin,
opens it, and is in the act of detaching the hair, when he is arrested by the unclosing of the beloved eyes.
In fact, the lady had been buried alive. Vitality had not altogether departed, and she was aroused by the
caresses of her lover from the lethargy which had been mistaken for death. He bore her frantically to his
lodgings in the village. He employed certain powerful restoratives suggested by no little medical learning.
In fine, she revived. She recognized her preserver. She remained with him until, by slow degrees, she
fully recovered her original health. Her woman's heart was not adamant, and this last lesson of love
sufficed to soften it. She bestowed it upon Bossuet. She returned no more to her husband, but, concealing
from him her resurrection, fled with her lover to America. Twenty years afterward, the two returned to
France, in the persuasion that time had so greatly altered the lady's appearance that her friends would be
unable to recognize her. They were mistaken, however, for, at the first meeting, Monsieur Renelle did
actually recognize and make claim to his wife. This claim she resisted, and a judicial tribunal sustained
her in her resistance, deciding that the peculiar circumstances, with the long lapse of years, had
extinguished, not only equitably, but legally, the authority of the husband.
The "Chirurgical Journal" of Leipsic -- a periodical of high authority and merit, which some American
bookseller would do well to translate and republish, records in a late number a very distressing event of
the character in question.
An officer of artillery, a man of gigantic stature and of robust health, being thrown from an unmanageable
horse, received a very severe contusion upon the head, which rendered him insensible at once; the skull
was slightly fractured, but no immediate danger was apprehended. Trepanning was accomplished
successfully. He was bled, and many other of the ordinary means of relief were adopted. Gradually,
however, he fell into a more and more hopeless state of stupor, and, finally, it was thought that he died.
The weather was warm, and he was buried with indecent haste in one of the public cemeteries. His
funeral took place on Thursday. On the Sunday following, the grounds of the cemetery were, as usual,
much thronged with visiters, and about noon an intense excitement was created by the declaration of a
peasant that, while sitting upon the grave of the officer, he had distinctly felt a commotion of the earth, as
if occasioned by some one struggling beneath. At first little attention was paid to the man's asseveration;
but his evident terror, and the dogged obstinacy with which he persisted in his story, had at length their
natural effect upon the crowd. Spades were hurriedly procured, and the grave, which was shamefully
shallow, was in a few minutes so far thrown open that the head of its occupant appeared. He was then
seemingly dead; but he sat nearly erect within his coffin, the lid of which, in his furious struggles, he had
partially uplifted.
He was forthwith conveyed to the nearest hospital, and there pronounced to be still living, although in an
asphytic condition. After some hours he revived, recognized individuals of his acquaintance, and, in
broken sentences spoke of his agonies in the grave.
From what he related, it was clear that he must have been conscious of life for more than an hour, while
inhumed, before lapsing into insensibility. The grave was carelessly and loosely filled with an exceedingly
porous soil; and thus some air was necessarily admitted. He heard the footsteps of the crowd overhead,
and endeavored to make himself heard in turn. It was the tumult within the grounds of the cemetery, he
said, which appeared to awaken him from a deep sleep, but no sooner was he awake than he became fully
aware of the awful horrors of his position.
This patient, it is recorded, was doing well and seemed to be in a fair way of ultimate recovery, but fell a
victim to the quackeries of medical experiment. The galvanic battery was applied, and he suddenly
expired in one of those ecstatic paroxysms which, occasionally, it superinduces.
The mention of the galvanic battery, nevertheless, recalls to my memory a well known and very
extraordinary case in point, where its action proved the means of restoring to animation a young attorney
of London, who had been interred for two days. This occurred in 1831, and created, at the time, a very
profound sensation wherever it was made the subject of converse.
The patient, Mr. Edward Stapleton, had died, apparently of typhus fever, accompanied with some
anomalous symptoms which had excited the curiosity of his medical attendants. Upon his seeming
decease, his friends were requested to sanction a post-mortem examination, but declined to permit it. As
often happens, when such refusals are made, the practitioners resolved to disinter the body and dissect it
at leisure, in private. Arrangements were easily effected with some of the numerous corps of body-
snatchers, with which London abounds; and, upon the third night after the funeral, the supposed corpse
was unearthed from a grave eight feet deep, and deposited in the opening chamber of one of the private
hospitals.
An incision of some extent had been actually made in the abdomen, when the fresh and undecayed
appearance of the subject suggested an application of the battery. One experiment succeeded another,
and the customary effects supervened, with nothing to characterize them in any respect, except, upon one
or two occasions, a more than ordinary degree of life-likeness in the convulsive action.
It grew late. The day was about to dawn; and it was thought expedient, at length, to proceed at once to
the dissection. A student, however, was especially desirous of testing a theory of his own, and insisted
upon applying the battery to one of the pectoral muscles. A rough gash was made, and a wire hastily
brought in contact, when the patient, with a hurried but quite unconvulsive movement, arose from the
table, stepped into the middle of the floor, gazed about him uneasily for a few seconds, and then -- spoke.
What he said was unintelligible, but words were uttered; the syllabification was distinct. Having spoken,
he fell heavily to the floor.
For some moments all were paralyzed with awe -- but the urgency of the case soon restored them their
presence of mind. It was seen that Mr. Stapleton was alive, although in a swoon. Upon exhibition of ether
he revived and was rapidly restored to health, and to the society of his friends -- from whom, however, all
knowledge of his resuscitation was withheld, until a relapse was no longer to be apprehended. Their
wonder -- their rapturous astonishment -- may be conceived.
The most thrilling peculiarity of this incident, nevertheless, is involved in what Mr. S. himself asserts. He
declares that at no period was he altogether insensible -- that, dully and confusedly, he was aware of
everything which happened to him, from the moment in which he was pronounced dead by his physicians,
to that in which he fell swooning to the floor of the hospital. "I am alive," were the uncomprehended
words which, upon recognizing the locality of the dissecting-room, he had endeavored, in his extremity, to
utter.
It were an easy matter to multiply such histories as these -- but I forbear -- for, indeed, we have no need of
such to establish the fact that premature interments occur. When we reflect how very rarely, from the
nature of the case, we have it in our power to detect them, we must admit that they may frequently occur
without our cognizance. Scarcely, in truth, is a graveyard ever encroached upon, for any purpose, to any
great extent, that skeletons are not found in postures which suggest the most fearful of suspicions.
Fearful indeed the suspicion -- but more fearful the doom! It may be asserted, without hesitation, that no
event is so terribly well adapted to inspire the supremeness of bodily and of mental distress, as is burial
before death. The unendurable oppression of the lungs -- the stifling fumes from the damp earth -- the
clinging to the death garments -- the rigid embrace of the narrow house -- the blackness of the absolute
Night -- the silence like a sea that overwhelms -- the unseen but palpable presence of the Conqueror
Worm -- these things, with the thoughts of the air and grass above, with memory of dear friends who
would fly to save us if but informed of our fate, and with consciousness that of this fate they can never be
informed -- that our hopeless portion is that of the really dead -- these considerations, I say, carry into the
heart, which still palpitates, a degree of appalling and intolerable horror from which the most daring
imagination must recoil. We know of nothing so agonizing upon Earth -- we can dream of nothing half so
hideous in the realms of the nethermost Hell. And thus all narratives upon this topic have an interest
profound; an interest, nevertheless, which, through the sacred awe of the topic itself, very properly and
very peculiarly depends upon our conviction of the truth of the matter narrated. What I have now to tell is
of my own actual knowledge -- of my own positive and personal experience.
For several years I had been subject to attacks of the singular disorder which physicians have agreed to
term catalepsy, in default of a more definitive title. Although both the immediate and the predisposing
causes, and even the actual diagnosis, of this disease are still mysterious, its obvious and apparent
character is sufficiently well understood. Its variations seem to be chiefly of degree. Sometimes the
patient lies, for a day only, or even for a shorter period, in a species of exaggerated lethargy. He is
senseless and externally motionless; but the pulsation of the heart is still faintly perceptible; some traces
of warmth remain; a slight color lingers within the centre of the cheek; and, upon application of a mirror
to the lips, we can detect a torpid, unequal, and vacillating action of the lungs. Then again the duration of
the trance is for weeks -- even for months; while the closest scrutiny, and the most rigorous medical tests,
fail to establish any material distinction between the state of the sufferer and what we conceive of
absolute death. Very usually he is saved from premature interment solely by the knowledge of his friends
that he has been previously subject to catalepsy, by the consequent suspicion excited, and, above all, by
the non-appearance of decay. The advances of the malady are, luckily, gradual. The first manifestations,
although marked, are unequivocal. The fits grow successively more and more distinctive, and endure each
for a longer term than the preceding. In this lies the principal security from inhumation. The unfortunate
whose first attack should be of the extreme character which is occasionally seen, would almost inevitably
be consigned alive to the tomb.
My own case differed in no important particular from those mentioned in medical books. Sometimes,
without any apparent cause, I sank, little by little, into a condition of hemi-syncope, or half swoon; and, in
this condition, without pain, without ability to stir, or, strictly speaking, to think, but with a dull lethargic
consciousness of life and of the presence of those who surrounded my bed, I remained, until the crisis of
the disease restored me, suddenly, to perfect sensation. At other times I was quickly and impetuously
smitten. I grew sick, and numb, and chilly, and dizzy, and so fell prostrate at once. Then, for weeks, all
was void, and black, and silent, and Nothing became the universe. Total annihilation could be no more.
From these latter attacks I awoke, however, with a gradation slow in proportion to the suddenness of the
seizure. Just as the day dawns to the friendless and houseless beggar who roams the streets throughout
the long desolate winter night -- just so tardily -- just so wearily -- just so cheerily came back the light of
the Soul to me.
Apart from the tendency to trance, however, my general health appeared to be good; nor could I perceive
that it was at all affected by the one prevalent malady -- unless, indeed, an idiosyncrasy in my ordinary
sleep may be looked upon as superinduced. Upon awaking from slumber, I could never gain, at once,
thorough possession of my senses, and always remained, for many minutes, in much bewilderment and
perplexity; -- the mental faculties in general, but the memory in especial, being in a condition of absolute
abeyance.
In all that I endured there was no physical suffering but of moral distress an infinitude. My fancy grew
charnel, I talked "of worms, of tombs, and epitaphs." I was lost in reveries of death, and the idea of
premature burial held continual possession of my brain. The ghastly Danger to which I was subjected
haunted me day and night. In the former, the torture of meditation was excessive -- in the latter, supreme.
When the grim Darkness overspread the Earth, then, with every horror of thought, I shook -- shook as the
quivering plumes upon the hearse. When Nature could endure wakefulness no longer, it was with a
struggle that I consented to sleep -- for I shuddered to reflect that, upon awaking, I might find myself the
tenant of a grave. And when, finally, I sank into slumber, it was only to rush at once into a world of
phantasms, above which, with vast, sable, overshadowing wing, hovered, predominant, the one sepulchral
Idea.
From the innumerable images of gloom which thus oppressed me in dreams, I select for record but a
solitary vision. Methought I was immersed in a cataleptic trance of more than usual duration and
profundity. Suddenly there came an icy hand upon my forehead, and an impatient, gibbering voice
whispered the word "Arise!" within my ear.
I sat erect. The darkness was total. I could not see the figure of him who had aroused me. I could call to
mind neither the period at which I had fallen into the trance, nor the locality in which I then lay. While I
remained motionless, and busied in endeavors to collect my thought, the cold hand grasped me fiercely
by the wrist, shaking it petulantly, while the gibbering voice said again:
"I have no name in the regions which I inhabit," replied the voice, mournfully; "I was mortal, but am fiend.
I was merciless, but am pitiful. Thou dost feel that I shudder. -- My teeth chatter as I speak, yet it is not
with the chilliness of the night -- of the night without end. But this hideousness is insufferable. How canst
thou tranquilly sleep? I cannot rest for the cry of these great agonies. These sights are more than I can
bear. Get thee up! Come with me into the outer Night, and let me unfold to thee the graves. Is not this a
spectacle of woe? -- Behold!"
I looked; and the unseen figure, which still grasped me by the wrist, had caused to be thrown open the
graves of all mankind, and from each issued the faint phosphoric radiance of decay, so that I could see
into the innermost recesses, and there view the shrouded bodies in their sad and solemn slumbers with
the worm. But alas! the real sleepers were fewer, by many millions, than those who slumbered not at all;
and there was a feeble struggling; and there was a general sad unrest; and from out the depths of the
countless pits there came a melancholy rustling from the garments of the buried. And of those who
seemed tranquilly to repose, I saw that a vast number had changed, in a greater or less degree, the rigid
and uneasy position in which they had originally been entombed. And the voice again said to me as I
gazed:
"Is it not -- oh! is it not a pitiful sight?" -- but, before I could find words to reply, the figure had ceased to
grasp my wrist, the phosphoric lights expired, and the graves were closed with a sudden violence, while
from out them arose a tumult of despairing cries, saying again: "Is it not -- O, God, is it not a very pitiful
sight?"
Phantasies such as these, presenting themselves at night, extended their terrific influence far into my
waking hours. My nerves became thoroughly unstrung, and I fell a prey to perpetual horror. I hesitated to
ride, or to walk, or to indulge in any exercise that would carry me from home. In fact, I no longer dared
trust myself out of the immediate presence of those who were aware of my proneness to catalepsy, lest,
falling into one of my usual fits, I should be buried before my real condition could be ascertained. I
doubted the care, the fidelity of my dearest friends. I dreaded that, in some trance of more than
customary duration, they might be prevailed upon to regard me as irrecoverable. I even went so far as to
fear that, as I occasioned much trouble, they might be glad to consider any very protracted attack as
sufficient excuse for getting rid of me altogether. It was in vain they endeavored to reassure me by the
most solemn promises. I exacted the most sacred oaths, that under no circumstances they would bury me
until decomposition had so materially advanced as to render farther preservation impossible. And, even
then, my mortal terrors would listen to no reason -- would accept no consolation. I entered into a series of
elaborate precautions. Among other things, I had the family vault so remodelled as to admit of being
readily opened from within. The slightest pressure upon a long lever that extended far into the tomb
would cause the iron portal to fly back. There were arrangements also for the free admission of air and
light, and convenient receptacles for food and water, within immediate reach of the coffin intended for my
reception. This coffin was warmly and softly padded, and was provided with a lid, fashioned upon the
principle of the vault-door, with the addition of springs so contrived that the feeblest movement of the
body would be sufficient to set it at liberty. Besides all this, there was suspended from the roof of the
tomb, a large bell, the rope of which, it was designed, should extend through a hole in the coffin, and so
be fastened to one of the hands of the corpse. But, alas? what avails the vigilance against the Destiny of
man? Not even these well-contrived securities sufficed to save from the uttermost agonies of living
inhumation, a wretch to these agonies foredoomed!
There arrived an epoch -- as often before there had arrived -- in which I found myself emerging from total
unconsciousness into the first feeble and indefinite sense of existence. Slowly -- with a tortoise gradation -
- approached the faint gray dawn of the psychal day. A torpid uneasiness. An apathetic endurance of dull
pain. No care -- no hope -- no effort. Then, after a long interval, a ringing in the ears; then, after a lapse
still longer, a prickling or tingling sensation in the extremities; then a seemingly eternal period of
pleasurable quiescence, during which the awakening feelings are struggling into thought; then a brief re-
sinking into non-entity; then a sudden recovery. At length the slight quivering of an eyelid, and
immediately thereupon, an electric shock of a terror, deadly and indefinite, which sends the blood in
torrents from the temples to the heart. And now the first positive effort to think. And now the first
endeavor to remember. And now a partial and evanescent success. And now the memory has so far
regained its dominion, that, in some measure, I am cognizant of my state. I feel that I am not awaking
from ordinary sleep. I recollect that I have been subject to catalepsy. And now, at last, as if by the rush of
an ocean, my shuddering spirit is overwhelmed by the one grim Danger -- by the one spectral and ever-
prevalent idea.
For some minutes after this fancy possessed me, I remained without motion. And why? I could not
summon courage to move. I dared not make the effort which was to satisfy me of my fate -- and yet there
was something at my heart which whispered me it was sure. Despair -- such as no other species of
wretchedness ever calls into being -- despair alone urged me, after long irresolution, to uplift the heavy
lids of my eyes. I uplifted them. It was dark -- all dark. I knew that the fit was over. I knew that the crisis
of my disorder had long passed. I knew that I had now fully recovered the use of my visual faculties -- and
yet it was dark -- all dark -- the intense and utter raylessness of the Night that endureth for evermore.
I endeavored to shriek-, and my lips and my parched tongue moved convulsively together in the attempt --
but no voice issued from the cavernous lungs, which oppressed as if by the weight of some incumbent
mountain, gasped and palpitated, with the heart, at every elaborate and struggling inspiration.
The movement of the jaws, in this effort to cry aloud, showed me that they were bound up, as is usual
with the dead. I felt, too, that I lay upon some hard substance, and by something similar my sides were,
also, closely compressed. So far, I had not ventured to stir any of my limbs -- but now I violently threw up
my arms, which had been lying at length, with the wrists crossed. They struck a solid wooden substance,
which extended above my person at an elevation of not more than six inches from my face. I could no
longer doubt that I reposed within a coffin at last.
And now, amid all my infinite miseries, came sweetly the cherub Hope -- for I thought of my precautions. I
writhed, and made spasmodic exertions to force open the lid: it would not move. I felt my wrists for the
bell-rope: it was not to be found. And now the Comforter fled for ever, and a still sterner Despair reigned
triumphant; for I could not help perceiving the absence of the paddings which I had so carefully prepared
-- and then, too, there came suddenly to my nostrils the strong peculiar odor of moist earth. The
conclusion was irresistible. I was not within the vault. I had fallen into a trance while absent from home-
while among strangers -- when, or how, I could not remember -- and it was they who had buried me as a
dog -- nailed up in some common coffin -- and thrust deep, deep, and for ever, into some ordinary and
nameless grave.
As this awful conviction forced itself, thus, into the innermost chambers of my soul, I once again struggled
to cry aloud. And in this second endeavor I succeeded. A long, wild, and continuous shriek, or yell of
agony, resounded through the realms of the subterranean Night.
"What do you mean by yowling in that ere kind of style, like a cattymount?" said a fourth; and hereupon I
was seized and shaken without ceremony, for several minutes, by a junto of very rough-looking
individuals. They did not arouse me from my slumber -- for I was wide awake when I screamed -- but they
restored me to the full possession of my memory.
This adventure occurred near Richmond, in Virginia. Accompanied by a friend, I had proceeded, upon a
gunning expedition, some miles down the banks of the James River. Night approached, and we were
overtaken by a storm. The cabin of a small sloop lying at anchor in the stream, and laden with garden
mould, afforded us the only available shelter. We made the best of it, and passed the night on board. I
slept in one of the only two berths in the vessel -- and the berths of a sloop of sixty or twenty tons need
scarcely be described. That which I occupied had no bedding of any kind. Its extreme width was eighteen
inches. The distance of its bottom from the deck overhead was precisely the same. I found it a matter of
exceeding difficulty to squeeze myself in. Nevertheless, I slept soundly, and the whole of my vision -- for it
was no dream, and no nightmare -- arose naturally from the circumstances of my position -- from my
ordinary bias of thought -- and from the difficulty, to which I have alluded, of collecting my senses, and
especially of regaining my memory, for a long time after awaking from slumber. The men who shook me
were the crew of the sloop, and some laborers engaged to unload it. From the load itself came the earthly
smell. The bandage about the jaws was a silk handkerchief in which I had bound up my head, in default of
my customary nightcap.
The tortures endured, however, were indubitably quite equal for the time, to those of actual sepulture.
They were fearfully -- they were inconceivably hideous; but out of Evil proceeded Good; for their very
excess wrought in my spirit an inevitable revulsion. My soul acquired tone -- acquired temper. I went
abroad. I took vigorous exercise. I breathed the free air of Heaven. I thought upon other subjects than
Death. I discarded my medical books. "Buchan" I burned. I read no "Night Thoughts" -- no fustian about
churchyards -- no bugaboo tales -- such as this. In short, I became a new man, and lived a man's life. From
that memorable night, I dismissed forever my charnel apprehensions, and with them vanished the
cataleptic disorder, of which, perhaps, they had been less the consequence than the cause.
There are moments when, even to the sober eye of Reason, the world of our sad Humanity may assume
the semblance of a Hell -- but the imagination of man is no Carathis, to explore with impunity its every
cavern. Alas! the grim legion of sepulchral terrors cannot be regarded as altogether fanciful -- but, like
the Demons in whose company Afrasiab made his voyage down the Oxus, they must sleep, or they will
devour us -- they must be suffered to slumber, or we perish.
THE PURLOINED LETTER
At Paris, just after dark one gusty evening in the autumn of 18-, I was enjoying the twofold luxury of
meditation and a meerschaum, in company with my friend C. Auguste Dupin, in his little back library, or
book-closet, au troisiême, No. 33, Ru e Dunôt, Faubourg St. Germain. For one hour at least we had
maintained a profound silence; while each, to any casual observer, might have seemed intently and
exclusively occupied with the curling eddies of smoke that oppressed the atmosphere of the chamber. For
myself, however, I was mentally discussing certain topics which had formed matter for conversation
between us at an earlier period of the evening; I mean the affair of the Rue Morgue, and the mystery
attending the murder of Marie Rogêt. I looked upon it, therefore, as something of a coincidence, when the
door of our apartment was thrown open and admitted our old acquaintance, Monsieur G--, the Prefect of
the Parisian police.
We gave him a hearty welcome; for there was nearly half as much of the entertaining as of the
contemptible about the man, and we had not seen him for several years. We had been sitting in the dark,
and Dupin now arose for the purpose of lighting a lamp, but sat down again, without doing so, upon G.'s
saying that he had called to consult us, or rather to ask the opinion of my friend, about some official
business which had occasioned a great deal of trouble.
"If it is any point requiring reflection," observed Dupin, as he forebore to enkindle the wick, "we shall
examine it to better purpose in the dark."
"That is another of your odd notions," said the Prefect, who had a fashion of calling every thing "odd" that
was beyond his comprehension, and thus lived amid an absolute legion of "oddities."
"Very true," said Dupin, as he supplied his visiter with a pipe, and rolled towards him a comfortable chair.
"And what is the difficulty now?" I asked. "Nothing more in the assassination way, I hope?"
"Oh no; nothing of that nature. The fact is, the business is very simple indeed, and I make no doubt that
we can manage it sufficiently well ourselves; but then I thought Dupin would like to hear the details of it,
because it is so excessively odd."
"Why, yes; and not exactly that, either. The fact is, we have all been a good deal puzzled because the affair
is so simple, and yet baffles us altogether."
"Perhaps it is the very simplicity of the thing which puts you at fault," said my friend.
"Ha! ha! ha - ha! ha! ha! - ho! ho! ho!" roared our visiter, profoundly amused, "oh, Dupin, you will be the
death of me yet!"
"Why, I will tell you," replied the Prefect, as he gave a long, steady and contemplative puff, and settled
himself in his chair. "I will tell you in a few words; but, before I begin, let me caution you that this is an
affair demanding the greatest secrecy, and that I should most probably lose the position I now hold, were
it known that I confided it to any one."
"Proceed," said I.
"Well, then; I have received personal information, from a very high quarter, that a certain document of the
last importance, has been purloined from the royal apartments. The individual who purloined it is known;
this beyond a doubt; he was seen to take it. It is known, also, that it still remains in his possession."
"It is clearly inferred," replied the Prefect, "from the nature of the document, and from the non-
appearance of certain results which would at once arise from its passing out of the robber's possession;
that is to say, from his employing it as he must design in the end to employ it."
"Well, I may venture so far as to say that the paper gives its holder a certain power in a certain quarter
where such power is immensely valuable." The Prefect was fond of the cant of diplomacy.
"No? Well; the disclosure of the document to a third person, who shall be nameless, would bring in
question the honor of a personage of most exalted station; and this fact gives the holder of the document
an ascendancy over the illustrious personage whose honor and peace are so jeopardized."
"But this ascendancy," I interposed, "would depend upon the robber's knowledge of the loser's knowledge
of the robber. Who would dare -"
"The thief," said G., "is the Minister D--, who dares all things, those unbecoming as well as those
becoming a man. The method of the theft was not less ingenious than bold. The document in question - a
letter, to be frank - had been received by the personage robbed while alone in the royal boudoir. During
its perusal she was suddenly interrupted by the entrance of the other exalted personage from whom
especially it was her wish to conceal it. After a hurried and vain endeavor to thrust it in a drawer, she was
forced to place it, open as it was, upon a table. The address, however, was uppermost, and, the contents
thus unexposed, the letter escaped notice. At this juncture enters the Minister D--. His lynx eye
immediately perceives the paper, recognises the handwriting of the address, observes the confusion of the
personage addressed, and fathoms her secret. After some business transactions, hurried through in his
ordinary manner, he produces a letter somewhat similar to the one in question, opens it, pretends to read
it, and then places it in close juxtaposition to the other. Again he converses, for some fifteen minutes,
upon the public affairs. At length, in taking leave, he takes also from the table the letter to which he had
no claim. Its rightful owner saw, but, of course, dared not call attention to the act, in the presence of the
third personage who stood at her elbow. The minister decamped; leaving his own letter - one of no
importance - upon the table."
"Here, then," said Dupin to me, "you have precisely what you demand to make the ascendancy complete -
the robber's knowledge of the loser's knowledge of the robber."
"Yes," replied the Prefect; "and the power thus attained has, for some months past, been wielded, for
political purposes, to a very dangerous extent. The personage robbed is more thoroughly convinced, every
day, of the necessity of reclaiming her letter. But this, of course, cannot be done openly. In fine, driven to
despair, she has committed the matter to me."
"Than whom," said Dupin, amid a perfect whirlwind of smoke, "no more sagacious agent could, I suppose,
be desired, or even imagined."
"You flatter me," replied the Prefect; "but it is possible that some such opinion may have been
entertained."
"It is clear," said I, "as you observe, that the letter is still in possession of the minister; since it is this
possession, and not any employment of the letter, which bestows the power. With the employment the
power departs."
"True," said G.; "and upon this conviction I proceeded. My first care was to make thorough search of the
minister's hotel; and here my chief embarrassment lay in the necessity of searching without his
knowledge. Beyond all things, I have been warned of the danger which would result from giving him
reason to suspect our design."
"But," said I, "you are quite au fait in these investigations. The Parisian police have done this thing often
before."
"O yes; and for this reason I did not despair. The habits of the minister gave me, too, a great advantage.
He is frequently absent from home all night. His servants are by no means numerous. They sleep at a
distance from their master's apartment, and, being chiefly Neapolitans, are readily made drunk. I have
keys, as you know, with which I can open any chamber or cabinet in Paris. For three months a night has
not passed, during the greater part of which I have not been engaged, personally, in ransacking the D--
Hotel. My honor is interested, and, to mention a great secret, the reward is enormous. So I did not
abandon the search until I had become fully satisfied that the thief is a more astute man than myself. I
fancy that I have investigated every nook and corner of the premises in which it is possible that the paper
can be concealed."
"But is it not possible," I suggested, "that although the letter may be in possession of the minister, as it
unquestionably is, he may have concealed it elsewhere than upon his own premises?"
"This is barely possible," said Dupin. "The present peculiar condition of affairs at court, and especially of
those intrigues in which D-- is known to be involved, would render the instant availability of the document
- its susceptibility of being produced at a moment's notice - a point of nearly equal importance with its
possession."
"True," I observed; "the paper is clearly then upon the premises. As for its being upon the person of the
minister, we may consider that as out of the question."
"Entirely," said the Prefect. "He has been twice waylaid, as if by footpads, and his person rigorously
searched under my own inspection."
"You might have spared yourself this trouble," said Dupin. "D--, I presume, is not altogether a fool, and, if
not, must have anticipated these waylayings, as a matter of course."
"Not altogether a fool," said G., "but then he's a poet, which I take to be only one remove from a fool."
"Why the fact is, we took our time, and we searched every where. I have had long experience in these
affairs. I took the entire building, room by room; devoting the nights of a whole week to each. We
examined, first, the furniture of each apartment. We opened every possible drawer; and I presume you
know that, to a properly trained police agent, such a thing as a secret drawer is impossible. Any man is a
dolt who permits a 'secret' drawer to escape him in a search of this kind. The thing is so plain. There is a
certain amount of bulk - of space - to be accounted for in every cabinet. Then we have accurate rules. The
fiftieth part of a line could not escape us. After the cabinets we took the chairs. The cushions we probed
with the fine long needles you have seen me employ. From the tables we removed the tops."
"Why so?"
"Sometimes the top of a table, or other similarly arranged piece of furniture, is removed by the person
wishing to conceal an article; then the leg is excavated, the article deposited within the cavity, and the top
replaced. The bottoms and tops of bedposts are employed in the same way."
"By no means, if, when the article is deposited, a sufficient wadding of cotton be placed around it.
Besides, in our case, we were obliged to proceed without noise."
"But you could not have removed - you could not have taken to pieces all articles of furniture in which it
would have been possible to make a deposit in the manner you mention. A letter may be compressed into
a thin spiral roll, not differing much in shape or bulk from a large knitting-needle, and in this form it
might be inserted into the rung of a chair, for example. You did not take to pieces all the chairs?"
"Certainly not; but we did better - we examined the rungs of every chair in the hotel, and, indeed the
jointings of every description of furniture, by the aid of a most powerful microscope. Had there been any
traces of recent disturbance we should not have failed to detect it instantly. A single grain of gimlet-dust,
for example, would have been as obvious as an apple. Any disorder in the glueing - any unusual gaping in
the joints - would have sufficed to insure detection."
"I presume you looked to the mirrors, between the boards and the plates, and you probed the beds and
the bed-clothes, as well as the curtains and carpets."
"That of course; and when we had absolutely completed every particle of the furniture in this way, then
we examined the house itself. We divided its entire surface into compartments, which we numbered, so
that none might be missed; then we scrutinized each individual square inch throughout the premises,
including the two houses immediately adjoining, with the microscope, as before."
"The two houses adjoining!" I exclaimed; "you must have had a great deal of trouble."
"All the grounds are paved with brick. They gave us comparatively little trouble. We examined the moss
between the bricks, and found it undisturbed."
"You looked among D--'s papers, of course, and into the books of the library?"
"Certainly; we opened every package and parcel; we not only opened every book, but we turned over
every leaf in each volume, not contenting ourselves with a mere shake, according to the fashion of some
of our police officers. We also measured the thickness of every book-cover, with the most accurate
admeasurement, and applied to each the most jealous scrutiny of the microscope. Had any of the bindings
been recently meddled with, it would have been utterly impossible that the fact should have escaped
observation. Some five or six volumes, just from the hands of the binder, we carefully probed,
longitudinally, with the needles."
"Beyond doubt. We removed every carpet, and examined the boards with the microscope."
"Yes."
"We did."
"Then," I said, "you have been making a miscalculation, and the letter is not upon the premises, as you
suppose."
"I fear you are right there," said the Prefect. "And now, Dupin, what would you advise me to do?"
"That is absolutely needless," replied G--. "I am not more sure that I breathe than I am that the letter is
not at the Hotel."
"I have no better advice to give you," said Dupin. "You have, of course, an accurate description of the
letter?"
"Oh yes!" - And here the Prefect, producing a memorandum-book proceeded to read aloud a minute
account of the internal, and especially of the external appearance of the missing document. Soon after
finishing the perusal of this description, he took his departure, more entirely depressed in spirits than I
had ever known the good gentleman before. In about a month afterwards he paid us another visit, and
found us occupied very nearly as before. He took a pipe and a chair and entered into some ordinary
conversation. At length I said, -
"Well, but G--, what of the purloined letter? I presume you have at last made up your mind that there is no
such thing as overreaching the Minister?"
"Confound him, say I - yes; I made the re-examination, however, as Dupin suggested - but it was all labor
lost, as I knew it would be."
"How much was the reward offered, did you say?" asked Dupin.
"Why, a very great deal - a very liberal reward - I don't like to say how much, precisely; but one thing I
will say, that I wouldn't mind giving my individual check for fifty thousand francs to any one who could
obtain me that letter. The fact is, it is becoming of more and more importance every day; and the reward
has been lately doubled. If it were trebled, however, I could do no more than I have done."
"Why, yes," said Dupin, drawlingly, between the whiffs of his meerschaum, "I really - think, G--, you have
not exerted yourself - to the utmost in this matter. You might - do a little more, I think, eh?"
"Why - puff, puff - you might - puff, puff - employ counsel in the matter, eh? - puff, puff, puff. Do you
remember the story they tell of Abernethy?"
"To be sure! hang him and welcome. But, once upon a time, a certain rich miser conceived the design of
spunging upon this Abernethy for a medical opinion. Getting up, for this purpose, an ordinary
conversation in a private company, he insinuated his case to the physician, as that of an imaginary
individual.
" 'We will suppose,' said the miser, 'that his symptoms are such and such; now, doctor, what would you
have directed him to take?'
"But," said the Prefect, a little discomposed, "I am perfectly willing to take advice, and to pay for it. I
would really give fifty thousand francs to any one who would aid me in the matter."
"In that case," replied Dupin, opening a drawer, and producing a check-book, "you may as well fill me up a
check for the amount mentioned. When you have signed it, I will hand you the letter."
I was astounded. The Prefect appeared absolutely thunder-stricken. For some minutes he remained
speechless and motionless, looking incredulously at my friend with open mouth, and eyes that seemed
starting from their sockets; then, apparently recovering himself in some measure, he seized a pen, and
after several pauses and vacant stares, finally filled up and signed a check for fifty thousand francs, and
handed it across the table to Dupin. The latter examined it carefully and deposited it in his pocket-book;
then, unlocking an escritoire, took thence a letter and gave it to the Prefect. This functionary grasped it in
a perfect agony of joy, opened it with a trembling hand, cast a rapid glance at its contents, and then,
scrambling and struggling to the door, rushed at length unceremoniously from the room and from the
house, without having uttered a syllable since Dupin had requested him to fill up the check.
"The Parisian police," he said, "are exceedingly able in their way. They are persevering, ingenious,
cunning, and thoroughly versed in the knowledge which their duties seem chiefly to demand. Thus, when
G-- detailed to us his made of searching the premises at the Hotel D--, I felt entire confidence in his
having made a satisfactory investigation - so far as his labors extended."
"Yes," said Dupin. "The measures adopted were not only the best of their kind, but carried out to absolute
perfection. Had the letter been deposited within the range of their search, these fellows would, beyond a
question, have found it."
"The measures, then," he continued, "were good in their kind, and well executed; their defect lay in their
being inapplicable to the case, and to the man. A certain set of highly ingenious resources are, with the
Prefect, a sort of Procrustean bed, to which he forcibly adapts his designs. But he perpetually errs by
being too deep or too shallow, for the matter in hand; and many a schoolboy is a better reasoner than he.
I knew one about eight years of age, whose success at guessing in the game of 'even and odd' attracted
universal admiration. This game is simple, and is played with marbles. One player holds in his hand a
number of these toys, and demands of another whether that number is even or odd. If the guess is right,
the guesser wins one; if wrong, he loses one. The boy to whom I allude won all the marbles of the school.
Of course he had some principle of guessing; and this lay in mere observation and admeasurement of the
astuteness of his opponents. For example, an arrant simpleton is his opponent, and, holding up his closed
hand, asks, 'are they even or odd?' Our schoolboy replies, 'odd,' and loses; but upon the second trial he
wins, for he then says to himself, 'the simpleton had them even upon the first trial, and his amount of
cunning is just sufficient to make him have them odd upon the second; I will therefore guess odd;' - he
guesses odd, and wins. Now, with a simpleton a degree above the first, he would have reasoned thus:
'This fellow finds that in the first instance I guessed odd, and, in the second, he will propose to himself,
upon the first impulse, a simple variation from even to odd, as did the first simpleton; but then a second
thought will suggest that this is too simple a variation, and finally he will decide upon putting it even as
before. I will therefore guess even;' - he guesses even, and wins. Now this mode of reasoning in the
schoolboy, whom his fellows termed 'lucky,' - what, in its last analysis, is it?"
"It is merely," I said, "an identification of the reasoner's intellect with that of his opponent."
"It is," said Dupin; "and, upon inquiring, of the boy by what means he effected the thorough identification
in which his success consisted, I received answer as follows: 'When I wish to find out how wise, or how
stupid, or how good, or how wicked is any one, or what are his thoughts at the moment, I fashion the
expression of my face, as accurately as possible, in accordance with the expression of his, and then wait
to see what thoughts or sentiments arise in my mind or heart, as if to match or correspond with the
expression.' This response of the schoolboy lies at the bottom of all the spurious profundity which has
been attributed to Rochefoucault, to La Bougive, to Machiavelli, and to Campanella."
"And the identification," I said, "of the reasoner's intellect with that of his opponent, depends, if I
understand you aright, upon the accuracy with which the opponent's intellect is admeasured."
"For its practical value it depends upon this," replied Dupin; "and the Prefect and his cohort fail so
frequently, first, by default of this identification, and, secondly, by ill-admeasurement, or rather through
non-admeasurement, of the intellect with which they are engaged. They consider only their own ideas of
ingenuity; and, in searching for anything hidden, advert only to the modes in which they would have
hidden it. They are right in this much - that their own ingenuity is a faithful representative of that of the
mass; but when the cunning of the individual felon is diverse in character from their own, the felon foils
them, of course. This always happens when it is above their own, and very usually when it is below. They
have no variation of principle in their investigations; at best, when urged by some unusual emergency - by
some extraordinary reward - they extend or exaggerate their old modes of practice, without touching
their principles. What, for example, in this case of D--, has been done to vary the principle of action? What
is all this boring, and probing, and sounding, and scrutinizing with the microscope and dividing the
surface of the building into registered square inches - what is it all but an exaggeration of the application
of the one principle or set of principles of search, which are based upon the one set of notions regarding
human ingenuity, to which the Prefect, in the long routine of his duty, has been accustomed? Do you not
see he has taken it for granted that all men proceed to conceal a letter, - not exactly in a gimlet hole
bored in a chair-leg - but, at least, in some out-of-the-way hole or corner suggested by the same tenor of
thought which would urge a man to secrete a letter in a gimlet-hole bored in a chair-leg? And do you not
see also, that such recherchés nooks for concealment are adapted only for ordinary occasions, and would
be adopted only by ordinary intellects; for, in all cases of concealment, a disposal of the article concealed -
a disposal of it in this recherché manner, - is, in the very first instance, presumable and presumed; and
thus its discovery depends, not at all upon the acumen, but altogether upon the mere care, patience, and
determination of the seekers; and where the case is of importance - or, what amounts to the same thing in
the policial eyes, when the reward is of magnitude, - the qualities in question have never been known to
fail. You will now understand what I meant in suggesting that, had the purloined letter been hidden any
where within the limits of the Prefect's examination - in other words, had the principle of its concealment
been comprehended within the principles of the Prefect - its discovery would have been a matter
altogether beyond question. This functionary, however, has been thoroughly mystified; and the remote
source of his defeat lies in the supposition that the Minister is a fool, because he has acquired renown as
a poet. All fools are poets; this the Prefect feels; and he is merely guilty of a non distributio medii in
thence inferring that all poets are fools."
"But is this really the poet?" I asked. "There are two brothers, I know; and both have attained reputation
in letters. The Minister I believe has written learnedly on the Differential Calculus. He is a
mathematician, and no poet."
"You are mistaken; I know him well; he is both. As poet and mathematician, he would reason well; as mere
mathematician, he could not have reasoned at all, and thus would have been at the mercy of the Prefect."
"You surprise me," I said, "by these opinions, which have been contradicted by the voice of the world. You
do not mean to set at naught the well-digested idea of centuries. The mathematical reason has long been
regarded as the reason par excellence."
" 'Il y a à parièr,' " replied Dupin, quoting from Chamfort, " 'que toute idée publique, toute convention
reçue est une sottise, car elle a convenue au plus grand nombre.' The mathematicians, I grant you, have
done their best to promulgate the popular error to which you allude, and which is none the less an error
for its promulgation as truth. With an art worthy a better cause, for example, they have insinuated the
term 'analysis' into application to algebra. The French are the originators of this particular deception; but
if a term is of any importance - if words derive any value from applicability - then 'analysis' conveys
'algebra' about as much as, in Latin, 'ambitus' implies 'ambition,' 'religio' 'religion,' or 'homines honesti,' a
set of honorablemen."
"You have a quarrel on hand, I see," said I, "with some of the algebraists of Paris; but proceed."
"I dispute the availability, and thus the value, of that reason which is cultivated in any especial form other
than the abstractly logical. I dispute, in particular, the reason educed by mathematical study. The
mathematics are the science of form and quantity; mathematical reasoning is merely logic applied to
observation upon form and quantity. The great error lies in supposing that even the truths of what is
called pure algebra, are abstract or general truths. And this error is so egregious that I am confounded at
the universality with which it has been received. Mathematical axioms are not axioms of general truth.
What is true of relation - of form and quantity - is often grossly false in regard to morals, for example. In
this latter science it is very usually untrue that the aggregated parts are equal to the whole. In chemistry
also the axiom fails. In the consideration of motive it fails; for two motives, each of a given value, have
not, necessarily, a value when united, equal to the sum of their values apart. There are numerous other
mathematical truths which are only truths within the limits of relation. But the mathematician argues,
from his finite truths, through habit, as if they were of an absolutely general applicability - as the world
indeed imagines them to be. Bryant, in his very learned 'Mythology,' mentions an analogous source of
error, when he says that 'although the Pagan fables are not believed, yet we forget ourselves continually,
and make inferences from them as existing realities.' With the algebraists, however, who are Pagans
themselves, the 'Pagan fables' are believed, and the inferences are made, not so much through lapse of
memory, as through an unaccountable addling of the brains. In short, I never yet encountered the mere
mathematician who could be trusted out of equal roots, or one who did not clandestinely hold it as a point
of his faith that x2+px was absolutely and unconditionally equal to q. Say to one of these gentlemen, by
way of experiment, if you please, that you believe occasions may occur where x2+px is not altogether
equal to q, and, having made him understand what you mean, get out of his reach as speedily as
convenient, for, beyond doubt, he will endeavor to knock you down.
"I mean to say," continued Dupin, while I merely laughed at his last observations, "that if the Minister had
been no more than a mathematician, the Prefect would have been under no necessity of giving me this
check. I know him, however, as both mathematician and poet, and my measures were adapted to his
capacity, with reference to the circumstances by which he was surrounded. I knew him as a courtier, too,
and as a bold intriguant. Such a man, I considered, could not fail to be aware of the ordinary policial
modes of action. He could not have failed to anticipate - and events have proved that he did not fail to
anticipate - the waylayings to which he was subjected. He must have foreseen, I reflected, the secret
investigations of his premises. His frequent absences from home at night, which were hailed by the
Prefect as certain aids to his success, I regarded only as ruses, to afford opportunity for thorough search
to the police, and thus the sooner to impress them with the conviction to which G--, in fact, did finally
arrive - the conviction that the letter was not upon the premises. I felt, also, that the whole train of
thought, which I was at some pains in detailing to you just now, concerning the invariable principle of
policial action in searches for articles concealed - I felt that this whole train of thought would necessarily
pass through the mind of the Minister. It would imperatively lead him to despise all the ordinary nooks of
concealment. He could not, I reflected, be so weak as not to see that the most intricate and remote recess
of his hotel would be as open as his commonest closets to the eyes, to the probes, to the gimlets, and to
the microscopes of the Prefect. I saw, in fine, that he would be driven, as a matter of course, to simplicity,
if not deliberately induced to it as a matter of choice. You will remember, perhaps, how desperately the
Prefect laughed when I suggested, upon our first interview, that it was just possible this mystery troubled
him so much on account of its being so very self-evident."
"Yes," said I, "I remember his merriment well. I really thought he would have fallen into convulsions."
"The material world," continued Dupin, "abounds with very strict analogies to the immaterial; and thus
some color of truth has been given to the rhetorical dogma, that metaphor, or simile, may be made to
strengthen an argument, as well as to embellish a description. The principle of the vis inertiae, for
example, seems to be identical in physics and metaphysics. It is not more true in the former, that a large
body is with more difficulty set in motion than a smaller one, and that its subsequent momentum is
commensurate with this difficulty, than it is, in the latter, that intellects of the vaster capacity, while more
forcible, more constant, and more eventful in their movements than those of inferior grade, are yet the
less readily moved, and more embarrassed and full of hesitation in the first few steps of their progress.
Again: have you ever noticed which of the street signs, over the shop- doors, are the most attractive of
attention?"
"There is a game of puzzles," he resumed, "which is played upon a map. One party playing requires
another to find a given word - the name of town, river, state or empire - any word, in short, upon the
motley and perplexed surface of the chart. A novice in the game generally seeks to embarrass his
opponents by giving them the most minutely lettered names; but the adept selects such words as stretch,
in large characters, from one end of the chart to the other. These, like the over-largely lettered signs and
placards of the street, escape observation by dint of being excessively obvious; and here the physical
oversight is precisely analogous with the moral inapprehension by which the intellect suffers to pass
unnoticed those considerations which are too obtrusively and too palpably self-evident. But this is a point,
it appears, somewhat above or beneath the understanding of the Prefect. He never once thought it
probable, or possible, that the Minister had deposited the letter immediately beneath the nose of the
whole world, by way of best preventing any portion of that world from perceiving it.
"But the more I reflected upon the daring, dashing, and discriminating ingenuity of D--; upon the fact that
the document must always have been at hand, if he intended to use it to good purpose; and upon the
decisive evidence, obtained by the Prefect, that it was not hidden within the limits of that dignitary's
ordinary search - the more satisfied I became that, to conceal this letter, the Minister had resorted to the
comprehensive and sagacious expedient of not attempting to conceal it at all.
"Full of these ideas, I prepared myself with a pair of green spectacles, and called one fine morning, quite
by accident, at the Ministerial hotel. I found D-- at home, yawning, lounging, and dawdling, as usual, and
pretending to be in the last extremity of ennui. He is, perhaps, the most really energetic human being
now alive - but that is only when nobody sees him.
"To be even with him, I complained of my weak eyes, and lamented the necessity of the spectacles, under
cover of which I cautiously and thoroughly surveyed the whole apartment, while seemingly intent only
upon the conversation of my host.
"I paid especial attention to a large writing-table near which he sat, and upon which lay confusedly, some
miscellaneous letters and other papers, with one or two musical instruments and a few books. Here,
however, after a long and very deliberate scrutiny, I saw nothing to excite particular suspicion.
"At length my eyes, in going the circuit of the room, fell upon a trumpery fillagree card-rack of
pasteboard, that hung dangling by a dirty blue ribbon, from a little brass knob just beneath the middle of
the mantel-piece. In this rack, which had three or four compartments, were five or six visiting cards and a
solitary letter. This last was much soiled and crumpled. It was torn nearly in two, across the middle - as if
a design, in the first instance, to tear it entirely up as worthless, had been altered, or stayed, in the
second. It had a large black seal, bearing the D-- cipher very conspicuously, and was addressed, in a
diminutive female hand, to D--, the minister, himself. It was thrust carelessly, and even, as it seemed,
contemptuously, into one of the uppermost divisions of the rack.
"No sooner had I glanced at this letter, than I concluded it to be that of which I was in search. To be sure,
it was, to all appearance, radically different from the one of which the Prefect had read us so minute a
description. Here the seal was large and black, with the D-- cipher; there it was small and red, with the
ducal arms of the S-- family. Here, the address, to the Minister, diminutive and feminine; there the
superscription, to a certain royal personage, was markedly bold and decided; the size alone formed a
point of correspondence. But, then, the radicalness of these differences, which was excessive; the dirt;
the soiled and torn condition of the paper, so inconsistent with the true methodical habits of D--, and so
suggestive of a design to delude the beholder into an idea of the worthlessness of the document; these
things, together with the hyper-obtrusive situation of this document, full in the view of every visiter, and
thus exactly in accordance with the conclusions to which I had previously arrived; these things, I say,
were strongly corroborative of suspicion, in one who came with the intention to suspect.
"I protracted my visit as long as possible, and, while I maintained a most animated discussion with the
Minister upon a topic which I knew well had never failed to interest and excite him, I kept my attention
really riveted upon the letter. In this examination, I committed to memory its external appearance and
arrangement in the rack; and also fell, at length, upon a discovery which set at rest whatever trivial doubt
I might have entertained. In scrutinizing the edges of the paper, I observed them to be more chafed than
seemed necessary. They presented the broken appearance which is manifested when a stiff paper, having
been once folded and pressed with a folder, is refolded in a reversed direction, in the same creases or
edges which had formed the original fold. This discovery was sufficient. It was clear to me that the letter
had been turned, as a glove, inside out, re-directed, and re-sealed. I bade the Minister good morning, and
took my departure at once, leaving a gold snuff-box upon the table.
"The next morning I called for the snuff-box, when we resumed, quite eagerly, the conversation of the
preceding day. While thus engaged, however, a loud report, as if of a pistol, was heard immediately
beneath the windows of the hotel, and was succeeded by a series of fearful screams, and the shoutings of
a terrified mob. D-- rushed to a casement, threw it open, and looked out. In the meantime, I stepped to
the card-rack took the letter, put it in my pocket, and replaced it by a fac-simile, (so far as regards
externals,) which I had carefully prepared at my lodgings - imitating the D-- cipher, very readily, by means
of a seal formed of bread.
"The disturbance in the street had been occasioned by the frantic behavior of a man with a musket. He
had fired it among a crowd of women and children. It proved, however, to have been without ball, and the
fellow was suffered to go his way as a lunatic or a drunkard. When he had gone, D-- came from the
window, whither I had followed him immediately upon securing the object in view. Soon afterwards I bade
him farewell. The pretended lunatic was a man in my own pay."
"But what purpose had you," I asked, "in replacing the letter by a fac-simile? Would it not have been
better, at the first visit, to have seized it openly, and departed?"
"D--," replied Dupin, "is a desperate man, and a man of nerve. His hotel, too, is not without attendants
devoted to his interests. Had I made the wild attempt you suggest, I might never have left the Ministerial
presence alive. The good people of Paris might have heard of me no more. But I had an object apart from
these considerations. You know my political prepossessions. In this matter, I act as a partisan of the lady
concerned. For eighteen months the Minister has had her in his power. She has now him in hers - since,
being unaware that the letter is not in his possession, he will proceed with his exactions as if it was. Thus
will he inevitably commit himself, at once, to his political destruction. His downfall, too, will not be more
precipitate than awkward. It is all very well to talk about the facilis descensus Averni; but in all kinds of
climbing, as Catalani said of singing, it is far more easy to get up than to come down. In the present
instance I have no sympathy - at least no pity - for him who descends. He is that monstrum horrendum, an
unprincipled man of genius. I confess, however, that I should like very well to know the precise character
of his thoughts, when, being defied by her whom the Prefect terms 'a certain personage' he is reduced to
opening the letter which I left for him in the card-rack."
"Why - it did not seem altogether right to leave the interior blank - that would have been insulting. D--, at
Vienna once, did me an evil turn, which I told him, quite good-humoredly, that I should remember. So, as I
knew he would feel some curiosity in regard to the identity of the person who had outwitted him, I
thought it a pity not to give him a clue. He is well acquainted with my MS., and I just copied into the
middle of the blank sheet the words -
" '-- -- Un dessein si funeste, S'il n'est digne d'Atrée, est digne de Thyeste.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow -- Psalm of David.
YE who read are still among the living; but I who write shall have long since gone my way into the region
of shadows. For indeed strange things shall happen, and secret things be known, and many centuries
shall pass away, ere these me morials be seen of men. And, when seen, there will be some to disbelieve,
and some to doubt, and yet a few who will find much to ponder upon in the characters here graven with a
stylus of iron.
The year had been a year of terror, and of feelings more intense than terror for which there is no name
upon the earth. For many prodigies and signs had taken place, and far and wide, over sea and land, the
black wings of the Pestilence were spread abroad. To those, nevertheless, cunning in the stars, it was not
unknown that the heavens wore an aspect of ill; and to me, the Greek Oinos, among others, it was evident
that now had arrived the alternation of that seven hundred and ninety-fourth year when, at the entrance
of Aries, the planet Jupiter is conjoined with the red ring of the terrible Saturnus. The peculiar spirit of
the skies, if I mistake not greatly, made itself manifest, not only in the physical orb of the earth, but in the
souls, imaginations, and meditations of mankind.
Over some flasks of the red Chian wine, within the walls of a noble hall, in a dim city called Ptolemais, we
sat, at night, a company of seven. And to our chamber there was no entrance save by a lofty door of brass:
and the door was fashioned by the artisan Corinnos, and, being of rare workmanship, was fastened from
within. Black draperies, likewise, in the gloomy room, shut out from our view the moon, the lurid stars,
and the peopleless streets -- but the boding and the memory of Evil they would not be so excluded. There
were things around us and about of which I can render no distinct account -- things material and spiritual
-- heaviness in the atmosphere -- a sense of suffocation -- anxiety -- and, above all, that terrible state of
existence which the nervous experience when the senses are keenly living and awake, and meanwhile the
powers of thought lie dormant. A dead weight hung upon us. It hung upon our limbs -- upon the household
furniture -- upon the goblets from which we drank; and all things were depressed, and borne down
thereby -- all things save only the flames of the seven lamps which illumined our revel. Uprearing
themselves in tall slender lines of light, they thus remained burning all pallid and motionless; and in the
mirror which their lustre formed upon the round table of ebony at which we sat, each of us there
assembled beheld the pallor of his own countenance, and the unquiet glare in the downcast eyes of his
companions. Yet we laughed and were merry in our proper way -- which was hysterical; and sang the
songs of Anacreon -- which are madness; and drank deeply -- although the purple wine reminded us of
blood. For there was yet another tenant of our chamber in the person of young Zoilus. Dead, and at full
length he lay, enshrouded; the genius and the demon of the scene. Alas! he bore no portion in our mirth,
save that his countenance, distorted with the plague, and his eyes, in which Death had but half
extinguished the fire of the pestilence, seemed to take such interest in our merriment as the dead may
haply take in the merriment of those who are to die. But although I, Oinos, felt that the eyes of the
departed were upon me, still I forced myself not to perceive the bitterness of their expression, and gazing
down steadily into the depths of the ebony mirror, sang with a loud and sonorous voice the songs of the
son of Teios. But gradually my songs they ceased, and their echoes, rolling afar off among the sable
draperies of the chamber, became weak, and undistinguishable, and so faded away. And lo! from among
those sable draperies where the sounds of the song departed, there came forth a dark and undefined
shadow -- a shadow such as the moon, when low in heaven, might fashion from the figure of a man: but it
was the shadow neither of man nor of God, nor of any familiar thing. And quivering awhile among the
draperies of the room, it at length rested in full view upon the surface of the door of brass. But the
shadow was vague, and formless, and indefinite, and was the shadow neither of man nor of God -- neither
God of Greece, nor God of Chaldaea, nor any Egyptian God. And the shadow rested upon the brazen
doorway, and under the arch of the entablature of the door, and moved not, nor spoke any word, but there
became stationary and remained. And the door whereupon the shadow rested was, if I remember aright,
over against the feet of the young Zoilus enshrouded. But we, the seven there assembled, having seen the
shadow as it came out from among the draperies, dared not steadily behold it, but cast down our eyes,
and gazed continually into the depths of the mirror of ebony. And at length I, Oinos, speaking some low
words, demanded of the shadow its dwelling and its appellation. And the shadow answered, "I am
SHADOW, and my dwelling is near to the Catacombs of Ptolemais, and hard by those dim plains of
Helusion which border upon the foul Charonian canal." And then did we, the seven, start from our seats
in horror, and stand trembling, and shuddering, and aghast, for the tones in the voice of the shadow were
not the tones of any one being, but of a multitude of beings, and, varying in their cadences from syllable
to syllable fell duskly upon our ears in the well-remembered and familiar accents of many thousand
departed friends.
SILENCE -- A FABLE
ALCMAN. The mountain pinnacles slumber; valleys, crags and caves are silent.
"LISTEN to me," said the Demon as he placed his hand upon my head. "The region of which I speak is a
dreary region in Libya, by the borders of the river Zaire. And there is no quiet there, nor silence.
"The waters of the river have a saffron and sickly hue; and they flow not onwards to the sea, but palpitate
forever and forever beneath the red eye of the sun with a tumultuous and convulsive motion. For many
miles on either side of the river's oozy bed is a pale desert of gigantic water-lilies. They sigh one unto the
other in that solitude, and stretch towards the heaven their long and ghastly necks, and nod to and fro
their everlasting heads. And there is an indistinct murmur which cometh out from among them like the
rushing of subterrene water. And they sigh one unto the other.
"But there is a boundary to their realm -- the boundary of the dark, horrible, lofty forest. There, like the
waves about the Hebrides, the low underwood is agitated continually. But there is no wind throughout the
heaven. And the tall primeval trees rock eternally hither and thither with a crashing and mighty sound.
And from their high summits, one by one, drop everlasting dews. And at the roots strange poisonous
flowers lie writhing in perturbed slumber. And overhead, with a rustling and loud noise, the gray clouds
rush westwardly forever, until they roll, a cataract, over the fiery wall of the horizon. But there is no wind
throughout the heaven. And by the shores of the river Zaire there is neither quiet nor silence.
"It was night, and the rain fell; and falling, it was rain, but, having fallen, it was blood. And I stood in the
morass among the tall and the rain fell upon my head -- and the lilies sighed one unto the other in the
solemnity of their desolation.
"And, all at once, the moon arose through the thin ghastly mist, and was crimson in color. And mine eyes
fell upon a huge gray rock which stood by the shore of the river, and was lighted by the light of the moon.
And the rock was gray, and ghastly, and tall, -- and the rock was gray. Upon its front were characters
engraven in the stone; and I walked through the morass of water-lilies, until I came close unto the shore,
that I might read the characters upon the stone. But I could not decypher them. And I was going back into
the morass, when the moon shone with a fuller red, and I turned and looked again upon the rock, and
upon the characters; -- and the characters were DESOLATION.
"And I looked upwards, and there stood a man upon the summit of the rock; and I hid myself among the
water-lilies that I might discover the actions of the man. And the man was tall and stately in form, and
was wrapped up from his shoulders to his feet in the toga of old Rome. And the outlines of his figure were
indistinct -- but his features were the features of a deity; for the mantle of the night, and of the mist, and
of the moon, and of the dew, had left uncovered the features of his face. And his brow was lofty with
thought, and his eye wild with care; and, in the few furrows upon his cheek I read the fables of sorrow,
and weariness, and disgust with mankind, and a longing after solitude.
"And the man sat upon the rock, and leaned his head upon his hand, and looked out upon the desolation.
He looked down into the low unquiet shrubbery, and up into the tall primeval trees, and up higher at the
rustling heaven, and into the crimson moon. And I lay close within shelter of the lilies, and observed the
actions of the man. And the man trembled in the solitude; -- but the night waned, and he sat upon the
rock.
"And the man turned his attention from the heaven, and looked out upon the dreary river Zaire, and upon
the yellow ghastly waters, and upon the pale legions of the water-lilies. And the man listened to the sighs
of the water-lilies, and to the murmur that came up from among them. And I lay close within my covert
and observed the actions of the man. And the man trembled in the solitude; -- but the night waned and he
sat upon the rock.
"Then I went down into the recesses of the morass, and waded afar in among the wilderness of the lilies,
and called unto the hippopotami which dwelt among the fens in the recesses of the morass. And the
hippopotami heard my call, and came, with the behemoth, unto the foot of the rock, and roared loudly and
fearfully beneath the moon. And I lay close within my covert and observed the actions of the man. And the
man trembled in the solitude; -- but the night waned and he sat upon the rock.
"Then I cursed the elements with the curse of tumult; and a frightful tempest gathered in the heaven
where, before, there had been no wind. And the heaven became livid with the violence of the tempest --
and the rain beat upon the head of the man -- and the floods of the river came down -- and the river was
tormented into foam -- and the water-lilies shrieked within their beds -- and the forest crumbled before
the wind -- and the thunder rolled -- and the lightning fell -- and the rock rocked to its foundation. And I
lay close within my covert and observed the actions of the man. And the man trembled in the solitude; --
but the night waned and he sat upon the rock.
"Then I grew angry and cursed, with the curse of silence, the river, and the lilies, and the wind, and the
forest, and the heaven, and the thunder, and the sighs of the water-lilies. And they became accursed, and
were still. And the moon ceased to totter up its pathway to heaven -- and the thunder died away -- and the
lightning did not flash -- and the clouds hung motionless -- and the waters sunk to their level and
remained -- and the trees ceased to rock -- and the water-lilies sighed no more -- and the murmur was
heard no longer from among them, nor any shadow of sound throughout the vast illimitable desert. And I
looked upon the characters of the rock, and they were changed; -- and the characters were SILENCE.
"And mine eyes fell upon the countenance of the man, and his countenance was wan with terror. And,
hurriedly, he raised his head from his hand, and stood forth upon the rock and listened. But there was no
voice throughout the vast illimitable desert, and the characters upon the rock were SILENCE. And the
man shuddered, and turned his face away, and fled afar off, in haste, so that I beheld him no more."
Now there are fine tales in the volumes of the Magi -- in the iron-bound, melancholy volumes of the Magi.
Therein, I say, are glorious histories of the Heaven, and of the Earth, and of the mighty sea -- and of the
Genii that over-ruled the sea, and the earth, and the lofty heaven. There was much lore too in the sayings
which were said by the Sybils; and holy, holy things were heard of old by the dim leaves that trembled
around Dodona -- but, as Allah liveth, that fable which the Demon told me as he sat by my side in the
shadow of the tomb, I hold to be the most wonderful of all! And as the Demon made an end of his story, he
fell back within the cavity of the tomb and laughed. And I could not laugh with the Demon, and he cursed
me because I could not laugh. And the lynx which dwelleth forever in the tomb, came out therefrom, and
lay down at the feet of the Demon, and looked at him steadily in the face.
SOME WORDS WITH A MUMMY.
THE symposium of the preceding evening had been a little too much for my nerves. I had a wretched
headache, and was desperately drowsy. Instead of going out therefore to spend the evening as I had
proposed, it occurred to me that I could not do a wiser thing than just eat a mouthful of supper and go
immediately to bed.
A light supper of course. I am exceedingly fond of Welsh rabbit. More than a pound at once, however, may
not at all times be advisable. Still, there can be no material objection to two. And really between two and
three, there is merely a single unit of difference. I ventured, perhaps, upon four. My wife will have it five;
-- but, clearly, she has confounded two very distinct affairs. The abstract number, five, I am willing to
admit; but, concretely, it has reference to bottles of Brown Stout, without which, in the way of condiment,
Welsh rabbit is to be eschewed.
Having thus concluded a frugal meal, and donned my night-cap, with the serene hope of enjoying it till
noon the next day, I placed my head upon the pillow, and, through the aid of a capital conscience, fell into
a profound slumber forthwith.
But when were the hopes of humanity fulfilled? I could not have completed my third snore when there
came a furious ringing at the street-door bell, and then an impatient thumping at the knocker, which
awakened me at once. In a minute afterward, and while I was still rubbing my eyes, my wife thrust in my
face a note, from my old friend, Doctor Ponnonner. It ran thus:
"Come to me, by all means, my dear good friend, as soon as you receive this. Come and help us to rejoice.
At last, by long persevering diplomacy, I have gained the assent of the Directors of the City Museum, to
my examination of the Mummy -- you know the one I mean. I have permission to unswathe it and open it,
if desirable. A few friends only will be present -- you, of course. The Mummy is now at my house, and we
shall begin to unroll it at eleven to-night.
"Yours, ever,
PONNONNER.
By the time I had reached the "Ponnonner," it struck me that I was as wide awake as a man need be. I
leaped out of bed in an ecstacy, overthrowing all in my way; dressed myself with a rapidity truly
marvellous; and set off, at the top of my speed, for the doctor's.
There I found a very eager company assembled. They had been awaiting me with much impatience; the
Mummy was extended upon the dining-table; and the moment I entered its examination was commenced.
It was one of a pair brought, several years previously, by Captain Arthur Sabretash, a cousin of
Ponnonner's from a tomb near Eleithias, in the Lybian mountains, a considerable distance above Thebes
on the Nile. The grottoes at this point, although less magnificent than the Theban sepulchres, are of
higher interest, on account of affording more numerous illustrations of the private life of the Egyptians.
The chamber from which our specimen was taken, was said to be very rich in such illustrations; the walls
being completely covered with fresco paintings and bas-reliefs, while statues, vases, and Mosaic work of
rich patterns, indicated the vast wealth of the deceased.
The treasure had been deposited in the Museum precisely in the same condition in which Captain
Sabretash had found it; -- that is to say, the coffin had not been disturbed. For eight years it had thus
stood, subject only externally to public inspection. We had now, therefore, the complete Mummy at our
disposal; and to those who are aware how very rarely the unransacked antique reaches our shores, it will
be evident, at once that we had great reason to congratulate ourselves upon our good fortune.
Approaching the table, I saw on it a large box, or case, nearly seven feet long, and perhaps three feet
wide, by two feet and a half deep. It was oblong -- not coffin-shaped. The material was at first supposed to
be the wood of the sycamore ( platanus ), but, upon cutting into it, we found it to be pasteboard, or, more
properly, papier mache , composed of papyrus. It was thickly ornamented with paintings, representing
funeral scenes, and other mournful subjects -- interspersed among which, in every variety of position,
were certain series of hieroglyphical characters, intended, no doubt, for the name of the departed. By
good luck, Mr. Gliddon formed one of our party; and he had no difficulty in translating the letters, which
were simply phonetic, and represented the word Allamistakeo .
We had some difficulty in getting this case open without injury; but having at length accomplished the
task, we came to a second, coffin-shaped, and very considerably less in size than the exterior one, but
resembling it precisely in every other respect. The interval between the two was filled with resin, which
had, in some degree, defaced the colors of the interior box.
Upon opening this latter (which we did quite easily), we arrived at a third case, also coffin-shaped, and
varying from the second one in no particular, except in that of its material, which was cedar, and still
emitted the peculiar and highly aromatic odor of that wood. Between the second and the third case there
was no interval -- the one fitting accurately within the other.
Removing the third case, we discovered and took out the body itself. We had expected to find it, as usual,
enveloped in frequent rolls, or bandages, of linen; but, in place of these, we found a sort of sheath, made
of papyrus, and coated with a layer of plaster, thickly gilt and painted. The paintings represented subjects
connected with the various supposed duties of the soul, and its presentation to different divinities, with
numerous identical human figures, intended, very probably, as portraits of the persons embalmed.
Extending from head to foot was a columnar, or perpendicular, inscription, in phonetic hieroglyphics,
giving again his name and titles, and the names and titles of his relations.
Around the neck thus ensheathed, was a collar of cylindrical glass beads, diverse in color, and so
arranged as to form images of deities, of the scarabaeus, etc, with the winged globe. Around the small of
the waist was a similar collar or belt.
Stripping off the papyrus, we found the flesh in excellent preservation, with no perceptible odor. The
color was reddish. The skin was hard, smooth, and glossy. The teeth and hair were in good condition. The
eyes (it seemed) had been removed, and glass ones substituted, which were very beautiful and
wonderfully life-like, with the exception of somewhat too determined a stare. The fingers and the nails
were brilliantly gilded.
Mr. Gliddon was of opinion, from the redness of the epidermis, that the embalmment had been effected
altogether by asphaltum; but, on scraping the surface with a steel instrument, and throwing into the fire
some of the powder thus obtained, the flavor of camphor and other sweet-scented gums became
apparent.
We searched the corpse very carefully for the usual openings through which the entrails are extracted,
but, to our surprise, we could discover none. No member of the party was at that period aware that entire
or unopened mummies are not infrequently met. The brain it was customary to withdraw through the
nose; the intestines through an incision in the side; the body was then shaved, washed, and salted; then
laid aside for several weeks, when the operation of embalming, properly so called, began.
As no trace of an opening could be found, Doctor Ponnonner was preparing his instruments for dissection,
when I observed that it was then past two o'clock. Hereupon it was agreed to postpone the internal
examination until the next evening; and we were about to separate for the present, when some one
suggested an experiment or two with the Voltaic pile.
The application of electricity to a mummy three or four thousand years old at the least, was an idea, if not
very sage, still sufficiently original, and we all caught it at once. About one-tenth in earnest and nine-
tenths in jest, we arranged a battery in the Doctor's study, and conveyed thither the Egyptian.
It was only after much trouble that we succeeded in laying bare some portions of the temporal muscle
which appeared of less stony rigidity than other parts of the frame, but which, as we had anticipated, of
course, gave no indication of galvanic susceptibility when brought in contact with the wire. This, the first
trial, indeed, seemed decisive, and, with a hearty laugh at our own absurdity, we were bidding each other
good night, when my eyes, happening to fall upon those of the Mummy, were there immediately riveted in
amazement. My brief glance, in fact, had sufficed to assure me that the orbs which we had all supposed to
be glass, and which were originally noticeable for a certain wild stare, were now so far covered by the
lids, that only a small portion of the tunica albuginea remained visible.
With a shout I called attention to the fact, and it became immediately obvious to all.
I cannot say that I was alarmed at the phenomenon, because "alarmed" is, in my case, not exactly the
word. It is possible, however, that, but for the Brown Stout, I might have been a little nervous. As for the
rest of the company, they really made no attempt at concealing the downright fright which possessed
them. Doctor Ponnonner was a man to be pitied. Mr. Gliddon, by some peculiar process, rendered himself
invisible. Mr. Silk Buckingham, I fancy, will scarcely be so bold as to deny that he made his way, upon all
fours, under the table.
After the first shock of astonishment, however, we resolved, as a matter of course, upon further
experiment forthwith. Our operations were now directed against the great toe of the right foot. We made
an incision over the outside of the exterior os sesamoideum pollicis pedis, and thus got at the root of the
abductor muscle. Readjusting the battery, we now applied the fluid to the bisected nerves -- when, with a
movement of exceeding life-likeness, the Mummy first drew up its right knee so as to bring it nearly in
contact with the abdomen, and then, straightening the limb with inconceivable force, bestowed a kick
upon Doctor Ponnonner, which had the effect of discharging that gentleman, like an arrow from a
catapult, through a window into the street below.
We rushed out en masse to bring in the mangled remains of the victim, but had the happiness to meet him
upon the staircase, coming up in an unaccountable hurry, brimful of the most ardent philosophy, and more
than ever impressed with the necessity of prosecuting our experiment with vigor and with zeal.
It was by his advice, accordingly, that we made, upon the spot, a profound incision into the tip of the
subject's nose, while the Doctor himself, laying violent hands upon it, pulled it into vehement contact with
the wire.
Morally and physically -- figuratively and literally -- was the effect electric. In the first place, the corpse
opened its eyes and winked very rapidly for several minutes, as does Mr. Barnes in the pantomime, in the
second place, it sneezed; in the third, it sat upon end; in the fourth, it shook its fist in Doctor Ponnonner's
face; in the fifth, turning to Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham, it addressed them, in very capital
Egyptian, thus:
"I must say, gentlemen, that I am as much surprised as I am mortified at your behavior. Of Doctor
Ponnonner nothing better was to be expected. He is a poor little fat fool who knows no better. I pity and
forgive him. But you, Mr. Gliddon- and you, Silk -- who have travelled and resided in Egypt until one might
imagine you to the manner born -- you, I say who have been so much among us that you speak Egyptian
fully as well, I think, as you write your mother tongue -- you, whom I have always been led to regard as
the firm friend of the mummies -- I really did anticipate more gentlemanly conduct from you. What am I to
think of your standing quietly by and seeing me thus unhandsomely used? What am I to suppose by your
permitting Tom, Dick, and Harry to strip me of my coffins, and my clothes, in this wretchedly cold
climate? In what light (to come to the point) am I to regard your aiding and abetting that miserable little
villain, Doctor Ponnonner, in pulling me by the nose?"
It will be taken for granted, no doubt, that upon hearing this speech under the circumstances, we all
either made for the door, or fell into violent hysterics, or went off in a general swoon. One of these three
things was, I say, to be expected. Indeed each and all of these lines of conduct might have been very
plausibly pursued. And, upon my word, I am at a loss to know how or why it was that we pursued neither
the one nor the other. But, perhaps, the true reason is to be sought in the spirit of the age, which
proceeds by the rule of contraries altogether, and is now usually admitted as the solution of every thing in
the way of paradox and impossibility. Or, perhaps, after all, it was only the Mummy's exceedingly natural
and matter-of-course air that divested his words of the terrible. However this may be, the facts are clear,
and no member of our party betrayed any very particular trepidation, or seemed to consider that any
thing had gone very especially wrong.
For my part I was convinced it was all right, and merely stepped aside, out of the range of the Egyptian's
fist. Doctor Ponnonner thrust his hands into his breeches' pockets, looked hard at the Mummy, and grew
excessively red in the face. Mr. Glidden stroked his whiskers and drew up the collar of his shirt. Mr.
Buckingham hung down his head, and put his right thumb into the left corner of his mouth.
The Egyptian regarded him with a severe countenance for some minutes and at length, with a sneer, said:
"Why don't you speak, Mr. Buckingham? Did you hear what I asked you, or not? Do take your thumb out
of your mouth!"
Mr. Buckingham, hereupon, gave a slight start, took his right thumb out of the left corner of his mouth,
and, by way of indemnification inserted his left thumb in the right corner of the aperture above-
mentioned.
Not being able to get an answer from Mr. B., the figure turned peevishly to Mr. Gliddon, and, in a
peremptory tone, demanded in general terms what we all meant.
Mr. Gliddon replied at great length, in phonetics; and but for the deficiency of American printing-offices
in hieroglyphical type, it would afford me much pleasure to record here, in the original, the whole of his
very excellent speech.
I may as well take this occasion to remark, that all the subsequent conversation in which the Mummy took
a part, was carried on in primitive Egyptian, through the medium (so far as concerned myself and other
untravelled members of the company) -- through the medium, I say, of Messieurs Gliddon and
Buckingham, as interpreters. These gentlemen spoke the mother tongue of the Mummy with inimitable
fluency and grace; but I could not help observing that (owing, no doubt, to the introduction of images
entirely modern, and, of course, entirely novel to the stranger) the two travellers were reduced,
occasionally, to the employment of sensible forms for the purpose of conveying a particular meaning. Mr.
Gliddon, at one period, for example, could not make the Egyptian comprehend the term "politics," until he
sketched upon the wall, with a bit of charcoal a little carbuncle-nosed gentleman, out at elbows, standing
upon a stump, with his left leg drawn back, right arm thrown forward, with his fist shut, the eyes rolled
up toward Heaven, and the mouth open at an angle of ninety degrees. Just in the same way Mr.
Buckingham failed to convey the absolutely modern idea "wig," until (at Doctor Ponnonner's suggestion)
he grew very pale in the face, and consented to take off his own.
It will be readily understood that Mr. Gliddon's discourse turned chiefly upon the vast benefits accruing to
science from the unrolling and disembowelling of mummies; apologizing, upon this score, for any
disturbance that might have been occasioned him, in particular, the individual Mummy called
Allamistakeo; and concluding with a mere hint (for it could scarcely be considered more) that, as these
little matters were now explained, it might be as well to proceed with the investigation intended. Here
Doctor Ponnonner made ready his instruments.
In regard to the latter suggestions of the orator, it appears that Allamistakeo had certain scruples of
conscience, the nature of which I did not distinctly learn; but he expressed himself satisfied with the
apologies tendered, and, getting down from the table, shook hands with the company all round.
When this ceremony was at an end, we immediately busied ourselves in repairing the damages which our
subject had sustained from the scalpel. We sewed up the wound in his temple, bandaged his foot, and
applied a square inch of black plaster to the tip of his nose.
It was now observed that the Count (this was the title, it seems, of Allamistakeo) had a slight fit of
shivering -- no doubt from the cold. The Doctor immediately repaired to his wardrobe, and soon returned
with a black dress coat, made in Jennings' best manner, a pair of sky-blue plaid pantaloons with straps, a
pink gingham chemise, a flapped vest of brocade, a white sack overcoat, a walking cane with a hook, a
hat with no brim, patent-leather boots, straw-colored kid gloves, an eye-glass, a pair of whiskers, and a
waterfall cravat. Owing to the disparity of size between the Count and the doctor (the proportion being as
two to one), there was some little difficulty in adjusting these habiliments upon the person of the
Egyptian; but when all was arranged, he might have been said to be dressed. Mr. Gliddon, therefore, gave
him his arm, and led him to a comfortable chair by the fire, while the Doctor rang the bell upon the spot
and ordered a supply of cigars and wine.
The conversation soon grew animated. Much curiosity was, of course, expressed in regard to the
somewhat remarkable fact of Allamistakeo's still remaining alive.
"I should have thought," observed Mr. Buckingham, "that it is high time you were dead."
"Why," replied the Count, very much astonished, "I am little more than seven hundred years old! My
father lived a thousand, and was by no means in his dotage when he died."
Here ensued a brisk series of questions and computations, by means of which it became evident that the
antiquity of the Mummy had been grossly misjudged. It had been five thousand and fifty years and some
months since he had been consigned to the catacombs at Eleithias.
"But my remark," resumed Mr. Buckingham, "had no reference to your age at the period of interment (I
am willing to grant, in fact, that you are still a young man), and my illusion was to the immensity of time
during which, by your own showing, you must have been done up in asphaltum."
"Ah, yes; I have some faint notion of what you mean; it might be made to answer, no doubt -- but in my
time we employed scarcely any thing else than the Bichloride of Mercury."
"But what we are especially at a loss to understand," said Doctor Ponnonner, "is how it happens that,
having been dead and buried in Egypt five thousand years ago, you are here to-day all alive and looking
so delightfully well."
"Had I been, as you say, dead," replied the Count, "it is more than probable that dead, I should still be; for
I perceive you are yet in the infancy of Calvanism, and cannot accomplish with it what was a common
thing among us in the old days. But the fact is, I fell into catalepsy, and it was considered by my best
friends that I was either dead or should be; they accordingly embalmed me at once -- I presume you are
aware of the chief principle of the embalming process?"
"Why, I perceive -- a deplorable condition of ignorance! Well I cannot enter into details just now: but it is
necessary to explain that to embalm (properly speaking), in Egypt, was to arrest indefinitely all the
animal functions subjected to the process. I use the word 'animal' in its widest sense, as including the
physical not more than the moral and vital being. I repeat that the leading principle of embalmment
consisted, with us, in the immediately arresting, and holding in perpetual abeyance, all the animal
functions subjected to the process. To be brief, in whatever condition the individual was, at the period of
embalmment, in that condition he remained. Now, as it is my good fortune to be of the blood of the
Scarabaeus, I was embalmed alive, as you see me at present."
"Why, it is the general custom in Egypt to deprive a corpse, before embalmment, of its bowels and brains;
the race of the Scarabaei alone did not coincide with the custom. Had I not been a Scarabeus, therefore, I
should have been without bowels and brains; and without either it is inconvenient to live."
"I perceive that," said Mr. Buckingham, "and I presume that all the entire mummies that come to hand are
of the race of Scarabaei."
"Beyond doubt."
"I thought," said Mr. Gliddon, very meekly, "that the Scarabaeus was one of the Egyptian gods."
"One of the Egyptian what?" exclaimed the Mummy, starting to its feet.
"Mr. Gliddon, I really am astonished to hear you talk in this style," said the Count, resuming his chair. "No
nation upon the face of the earth has ever acknowledged more than one god. The Scarabaeus, the Ibis,
etc., were with us (as similar creatures have been with others) the symbols, or media, through which we
offered worship to the Creator too august to be more directly approached."
There was here a pause. At length the colloquy was renewed by Doctor Ponnonner.
"It is not improbable, then, from what you have explained," said he, "that among the catacombs near the
Nile there may exist other mummies of the Scarabaeus tribe, in a condition of vitality?"
"There can be no question of it," replied the Count; "all the Scarabaei embalmed accidentally while alive,
are alive now. Even some of those purposely so embalmed, may have been overlooked by their executors,
and still remain in the tomb."
"Will you be kind enough to explain," I said, "what you mean by 'purposely so embalmed'?"
"With great pleasure!" answered the Mummy, after surveying me leisurely through his eye-glass -- for it
was the first time I had ventured to address him a direct question.
"With great pleasure," he said. "The usual duration of man's life, in my time, was about eight hundred
years. Few men died, unless by most extraordinary accident, before the age of six hundred; few lived
longer than a decade of centuries; but eight were considered the natural term. After the discovery of the
embalming principle, as I have already described it to you, it occurred to our philosophers that a laudable
curiosity might be gratified, and, at the same time, the interests of science much advanced, by living this
natural term in installments. In the case of history, indeed, experience demonstrated that something of
this kind was indispensable. An historian, for example, having attained the age of five hundred, would
write a book with great labor and then get himself carefully embalmed; leaving instructions to his
executors pro tem., that they should cause him to be revivified after the lapse of a certain period -- say
five or six hundred years. Resuming existence at the expiration of this time, he would invariably find his
great work converted into a species of hap-hazard note-book -- that is to say, into a kind of literary arena
for the conflicting guesses, riddles, and personal squabbles of whole herds of exasperated commentators.
These guesses, etc., which passed under the name of annotations, or emendations, were found so
completely to have enveloped, distorted, and overwhelmed the text, that the author had to go about with
a lantern to discover his own book. When discovered, it was never worth the trouble of the search. After
re-writing it throughout, it was regarded as the bounden duty of the historian to set himself to work
immediately in correcting, from his own private knowledge and experience, the traditions of the day
concerning the epoch at which he had originally lived. Now this process of re-scription and personal
rectification, pursued by various individual sages from time to time, had the effect of preventing our
history from degenerating into absolute fable."
"I beg your pardon," said Doctor Ponnonner at this point, laying his hand gently upon the arm of the
Egyptian -- "I beg your pardon, sir, but may I presume to interrupt you for one moment?"
"I merely wished to ask you a question," said the Doctor. "You mentioned the historian's personal
correction of traditions respecting his own epoch. Pray, sir, upon an average what proportion of these
Kabbala were usually found to be right?"
"The Kabbala, as you properly term them, sir, were generally discovered to be precisely on a par with the
facts recorded in the un-re-written histories themselves; -- that is to say, not one individual iota of either
was ever known, under any circumstances, to be not totally and radically wrong."
"But since it is quite clear," resumed the Doctor, "that at least five thousand years have elapsed since your
entombment, I take it for granted that your histories at that period, if not your traditions were sufficiently
explicit on that one topic of universal interest, the Creation, which took place, as I presume you are
aware, only about ten centuries before."
The Doctor repeated his remarks, but it was only after much additional explanation that the foreigner
could be made to comprehend them. The latter at length said, hesitatingly:
"The ideas you have suggested are to me, I confess, utterly novel. During my time I never knew any one to
entertain so singular a fancy as that the universe (or this world if you will have it so) ever had a beginning
at all. I remember once, and once only, hearing something remotely hinted, by a man of many
speculations, concerning the origin of the human race; and by this individual, the very word Adam (or Red
Earth), which you make use of, was employed. He employed it, however, in a generical sense, with
reference to the spontaneous germination from rank soil (just as a thousand of the lower genera of
creatures are germinated) -- the spontaneous germination, I say, of five vast hordes of men,
simultaneously upspringing in five distinct and nearly equal divisions of the globe."
Here, in general, the company shrugged their shoulders, and one or two of us touched our foreheads with
a very significant air. Mr. Silk Buckingham, first glancing slightly at the occiput and then at the sinciput of
Allamistakeo, spoke as follows:
"The long duration of human life in your time, together with the occasional practice of passing it, as you
have explained, in installments, must have had, indeed, a strong tendency to the general development
and conglomeration of knowledge. I presume, therefore, that we are to attribute the marked inferiority of
the old Egyptians in all particulars of science, when compared with the moderns, and more especially
with the Yankees, altogether to the superior solidity of the Egyptian skull."
"I confess again," replied the Count, with much suavity, "that I am somewhat at a loss to comprehend you;
pray, to what particulars of science do you allude?"
Here our whole party, joining voices, detailed, at great length, the assumptions of phrenology and the
marvels of animal magnetism.
Having heard us to an end, the Count proceeded to relate a few anecdotes, which rendered it evident that
prototypes of Gall and Spurzheim had flourished and faded in Egypt so long ago as to have been nearly
forgotten, and that the manoeuvres of Mesmer were really very contemptible tricks when put in collation
with the positive miracles of the Theban savans, who created lice and a great many other similar things.
I here asked the Count if his people were able to calculate eclipses. He smiled rather contemptuously, and
said they were.
This put me a little out, but I began to make other inquiries in regard to his astronomical knowledge,
when a member of the company, who had never as yet opened his mouth, whispered in my ear, that for
information on this head, I had better consult Ptolemy (whoever Ptolemy is), as well as one Plutarch de
facie lunae.
I then questioned the Mummy about burning-glasses and lenses, and, in general, about the manufacture
of glass; but I had not made an end of my queries before the silent member again touched me quietly on
the elbow, and begged me for God's sake to take a peep at Diodorus Siculus. As for the Count, he merely
asked me, in the way of reply, if we moderns possessed any such microscopes as would enable us to cut
cameos in the style of the Egyptians. While I was thinking how I should answer this question, little Doctor
Ponnonner committed himself in a very extraordinary way.
"Look at our architecture!" he exclaimed, greatly to the indignation of both the travellers, who pinched
him black and blue to no purpose.
"Look," he cried with enthusiasm, "at the Bowling-Green Fountain in New York! or if this be too vast a
contemplation, regard for a moment the Capitol at Washington, D. C.!" -- and the good little medical man
went on to detail very minutely, the proportions of the fabric to which he referred. He explained that the
portico alone was adorned with no less than four and twenty columns, five feet in diameter, and ten feet
apart.
The Count said that he regretted not being able to remember, just at that moment, the precise dimensions
of any one of the principal buildings of the city of Aznac, whose foundations were laid in the night of
Time, but the ruins of which were still standing, at the epoch of his entombment, in a vast plain of sand to
the westward of Thebes. He recollected, however, (talking of the porticoes,) that one affixed to an inferior
palace in a kind of suburb called Carnac, consisted of a hundred and forty-four columns, thirty-seven feet
in circumference, and twenty-five feet apart. The approach to this portico, from the Nile, was through an
avenue two miles long, composed of sphynxes, statues, and obelisks, twenty, sixty, and a hundred feet in
height. The palace itself (as well as he could remember) was, in one direction, two miles long, and might
have been altogether about seven in circuit. Its walls were richly painted all over, within and without,
with hieroglyphics. He would not pretend to assert that even fifty or sixty of the Doctor's Capitols might
have been built within these walls, but he was by no means sure that two or three hundred of them might
not have been squeezed in with some trouble. That palace at Carnac was an insignificant little building
after all. He (the Count), however, could not conscientiously refuse to admit the ingenuity, magnificence,
and superiority of the Fountain at the Bowling Green, as described by the Doctor. Nothing like it, he was
forced to allow, had ever been seen in Egypt or elsewhere.
"Nothing," he replied, "in particular." They were rather slight, rather ill-conceived, and clumsily put
together. They could not be compared, of course, with the vast, level, direct, iron-grooved causeways
upon which the Egyptians conveyed entire temples and solid obelisks of a hundred and fifty feet in
altitude.
He agreed that we knew something in that way, but inquired how I should have gone to work in getting
up the imposts on the lintels of even the little palace at Carnac.
This question I concluded not to hear, and demanded if he had any idea of Artesian wells; but he simply
raised his eyebrows; while Mr. Gliddon winked at me very hard and said, in a low tone, that one had been
recently discovered by the engineers employed to bore for water in the Great Oasis.
I then mentioned our steel; but the foreigner elevated his nose, and asked me if our steel could have
executed the sharp carved work seen on the obelisks, and which was wrought altogether by edge-tools of
copper.
This disconcerted us so greatly that we thought it advisable to vary the attack to Metaphysics. We sent for
a copy of a book called the "Dial," and read out of it a chapter or two about something that is not very
clear, but which the Bostonians call the Great Movement of Progress.
The Count merely said that Great Movements were awfully common things in his day, and as for Progress,
it was at one time quite a nuisance, but it never progressed.
We then spoke of the great beauty and importance of Democracy, and were at much trouble in impressing
the Count with a due sense of the advantages we enjoyed in living where there was suffrage ad libitum,
and no king.
He listened with marked interest, and in fact seemed not a little amused. When we had done, he said that,
a great while ago, there had occurred something of a very similar sort. Thirteen Egyptian provinces
determined all at once to be free, and to set a magnificent example to the rest of mankind. They
assembled their wise men, and concocted the most ingenious constitution it is possible to conceive. For a
while they managed remarkably well; only their habit of bragging was prodigious. The thing ended,
however, in the consolidation of the thirteen states, with some fifteen or twenty others, in the most odious
and insupportable despotism that was ever heard of upon the face of the Earth.
Not knowing what to say to this, I raised my voice, and deplored the Egyptian ignorance of steam.
The Count looked at me with much astonishment, but made no answer. The silent gentleman, however,
gave me a violent nudge in the ribs with his elbows -- told me I had sufficiently exposed myself for once --
and demanded if I was really such a fool as not to know that the modern steam-engine is derived from the
invention of Hero, through Solomon de Caus.
We were now in imminent danger of being discomfited; but, as good luck would have it, Doctor
Ponnonner, having rallied, returned to our rescue, and inquired if the people of Egypt would seriously
pretend to rival the moderns in the all- important particular of dress.
The Count, at this, glanced downward to the straps of his pantaloons, and then taking hold of the end of
one of his coat-tails, held it up close to his eyes for some minutes. Letting it fall, at last, his mouth
extended itself very gradually from ear to ear; but I do not remember that he said any thing in the way of
reply.
Hereupon we recovered our spirits, and the Doctor, approaching the Mummy with great dignity, desired it
to say candidly, upon its honor as a gentleman, if the Egyptians had comprehended, at any period, the
manufacture of either Ponnonner's lozenges or Brandreth's pills.
We looked, with profound anxiety, for an answer -- but in vain. It was not forthcoming. The Egyptian
blushed and hung down his head. Never was triumph more consummate; never was defeat borne with so
ill a grace. Indeed, I could not endure the spectacle of the poor Mummy's mortification. I reached my hat,
bowed to him stiffly, and took leave.
Upon getting home I found it past four o'clock, and went immediately to bed. It is now ten A.M. I have
been up since seven, penning these memoranda for the benefit of my family and of mankind. The former I
shall behold no more. My wife is a shrew. The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life and of the nineteenth
century in general. I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. Besides, I am anxious to know who
will be President in 2045. As soon, therefore, as I shave and swallow a cup of coffee, I shall just step over
to Ponnonner's and get embalmed for a couple of hundred years.
THE SPECTACLES
MANY years ago, it was the fashion to ridicule the idea of "love at first sight;" but those who think, not
less than those who feel deeply, have always advocated its existence. Modern discoveries, indeed, in what
may be termed ethical magnetism or magnetoesthetics, render it probable that the most natural, and,
consequently, the truest and most intense of the human affections are those which arise in the heart as if
by electric sympathy -- in a word, that the brightest and most enduring of the psychal fetters are those
which are riveted by a glance. The confession I am about to make will add another to the already almost
innumerable instances of the truth of the position.
My story requires that I should be somewhat minute. I am still a very young man -- not yet twenty-two
years of age. My name, at present, is a very usual and rather plebeian one -- Simpson. I say "at present;"
for it is only lately that I have been so called -- having legislatively adopted this surname within the last
year in order to receive a large inheritance left me by a distant male relative, Adolphus Simpson, Esq. The
bequest was conditioned upon my taking the name of the testator, -- the family, not the Christian name;
my Christian name is Napoleon Bonaparte -- or, more properly, these are my first and middle appellations.
I assumed the name, Simpson, with some reluctance, as in my true patronym, Froissart, I felt a very
pardonable pride -- believing that I could trace a descent from the immortal author of the "Chronicles."
While on the subject of names, by the bye, I may mention a singular coincidence of sound attending the
names of some of my immediate predecessors. My father was a Monsieur Froissart, of Paris. His wife --
my mother, whom he married at fifteen -- was a Mademoiselle Croissart, eldest daughter of Croissart the
banker, whose wife, again, being only sixteen when married, was the eldest daughter of one Victor
Voissart. Monsieur Voissart, very singularly, had married a lady of similar name -- a Mademoiselle
Moissart. She, too, was quite a child when married; and her mother, also, Madame Moissart, was only
fourteen when led to the altar. These early marriages are usual in France. Here, however, are Moissart,
Voissart, Croissart, and Froissart, all in the direct line of descent. My own name, though, as I say, became
Simpson, by act of Legislature, and with so much repugnance on my part, that, at one period, I actually
hesitated about accepting the legacy with the useless and annoying proviso attached.
As to personal endowments, I am by no means deficient. On the contrary, I believe that I am well made,
and possess what nine tenths of the world would call a handsome face. In height I am five feet eleven. My
hair is black and curling. My nose is sufficiently good. My eyes are large and gray; and although, in fact
they are weak a very inconvenient degree, still no defect in this regard would be suspected from their
appearance. The weakness itself, however, has always much annoyed me, and I have resorted to every
remedy -- short of wearing glasses. Being youthful and good-looking, I naturally dislike these, and have
resolutely refused to employ them. I know nothing, indeed, which so disfigures the countenance of a
young person, or so impresses every feature with an air of demureness, if not altogether of
sanctimoniousness and of age. An eyeglass, on the other hand, has a savor of downright foppery and
affectation. I have hitherto managed as well as I could without either. But something too much of these
merely personal details, which, after all, are of little importance. I will content myself with saying, in
addition, that my temperament is sanguine, rash, ardent, enthusiastic -- and that all my life I have been a
devoted admirer of the women.
One night last winter I entered a box at the P- -- Theatre, in company with a friend, Mr. Talbot. It was an
opera night, and the bills presented a very rare attraction, so that the house was excessively crowded. We
were in time, however, to obtain the front seats which had been reserved for us, and into which, with
some little difficulty, we elbowed our way.
For two hours my companion, who was a musical fanatico, gave his undivided attention to the stage; and,
in the meantime, I amused myself by observing the audience, which consisted, in chief part, of the very
elite of the city. Having satisfied myself upon this point, I was about turning my eyes to the prima donna,
when they were arrested and riveted by a figure in one of the private boxes which had escaped my
observation.
If I live a thousand years, I can never forget the intense emotion with which I regarded this figure. It was
that of a female, the most exquisite I had ever beheld. The face was so far turned toward the stage that,
for some minutes, I could not obtain a view of it -- but the form was divine; no other word can sufficiently
express its magnificent proportion -- and even the term "divine" seems ridiculously feeble as I write it.
The magic of a lovely form in woman -- the necromancy of female gracefulness -- was always a power
which I had found it impossible to resist, but here was grace personified, incarnate, the beau ideal of my
wildest and most enthusiastic visions. The figure, almost all of which the construction of the box
permitted to be seen, was somewhat above the medium height, and nearly approached, without positively
reaching, the majestic. Its perfect fullness and tournure were delicious. The head of which only the back
was visible, rivalled in outline that of the Greek Psyche, and was rather displayed than concealed by an
elegant cap of gaze aerienne, which put me in mind of the ventum textilem of Apuleius. The right arm
hung over the balustrade of the box, and thrilled every nerve of my frame with its exquisite symmetry. Its
upper portion was draperied by one of the loose open sleeves now in fashion. This extended but little
below the elbow. Beneath it was worn an under one of some frail material, close-fitting, and terminated by
a cuff of rich lace, which fell gracefully over the top of the hand, revealing only the delicate fingers, upon
one of which sparkled a diamond ring, which I at once saw was of extraordinary value. The admirable
roundness of the wrist was well set off by a bracelet which encircled it, and which also was ornamented
and clasped by a magnificent aigrette of jewels-telling, in words that could not be mistaken, at once of the
wealth and fastidious taste of the wearer.
I gazed at this queenly apparition for at least half an hour, as if I had been suddenly converted to stone;
and, during this period, I felt the full force and truth of all that has been said or sung concerning "love at
first sight." My feelings were totally different from any which I had hitherto experienced, in the presence
of even the most celebrated specimens of female loveliness. An unaccountable, and what I am compelled
to consider a magnetic, sympathy of soul for soul, seemed to rivet, not only my vision, but my whole
powers of thought and feeling, upon the admirable object before me. I saw -- I felt -- I knew that I was
deeply, madly, irrevocably in love -- and this even before seeing the face of the person beloved. So intense,
indeed, was the passion that consumed me, that I really believe it would have received little if any
abatement had the features, yet unseen, proved of merely ordinary character, so anomalous is the nature
of the only true love -- of the love at first sight -- and so little really dependent is it upon the external
conditions which only seem to create and control it.
While I was thus wrapped in admiration of this lovely vision, a sudden disturbance among the audience
caused her to turn her head partially toward me, so that I beheld the entire profile of the face. Its beauty
even exceeded my anticipations -- and yet there was something about it which disappointed me without
my being able to tell exactly what it was. I said "disappointed," but this is not altogether the word. My
sentiments were at once quieted and exalted. They partook less of transport and more of calm enthusiasm
of enthusiastic repose. This state of feeling arose, perhaps, from the Madonna-like and matronly air of the
face; and yet I at once understood that it could not have arisen entirely from this. There was something
else- some mystery which I could not develope -- some expression about the countenance which slightly
disturbed me while it greatly heightened my interest. In fact, I was just in that condition of mind which
prepares a young and susceptible man for any act of extravagance. Had the lady been alone, I should
undoubtedly have entered her box and accosted her at all hazards; but, fortunately, she was attended by
two companions -- a gentleman, and a strikingly beautiful woman, to all appearance a few years younger
than herself.
I revolved in my mind a thousand schemes by which I might obtain, hereafter, an introduction to the elder
lady, or, for the present, at all events, a more distinct view of her beauty. I would have removed my
position to one nearer her own, but the crowded state of the theatre rendered this impossible; and the
stern decrees of Fashion had, of late, imperatively prohibited the use of the opera-glass in a case such as
this, even had I been so fortunate as to have one with me -- but I had not -- and was thus in despair.
"An opera -- glass! -- no! -- what do you suppose I would be doing with an opera-glass?" Here he turned
impatiently toward the stage.
"But, Talbot," I continued, pulling him by the shoulder, "listen to me will you? Do you see the stage -- box?
-- there! -- no, the next. -- did you ever behold as lovely a woman?"
"Why, in the name of all that is angelic, don't you know who she is? 'Not to know her argues yourself
unknown.' She is the celebrated Madame Lalande -- the beauty of the day par excellence, and the talk of
the whole town. Immensely wealthy too -- a widow, and a great match -- has just arrived from Paris."
In this latter respect I was forced to take Talbot's advice; for he remained obstinately deaf to every
further question or suggestion, and occupied himself exclusively for the rest of the evening with what was
transacting upon the stage.
In the meantime I kept my eyes riveted on Madame Lalande, and at length had the good fortune to obtain
a full front view of her face. It was exquisitely lovely -- this, of course, my heart had told me before, even
had not Talbot fully satisfied me upon the point -- but still the unintelligible something disturbed me. I
finally concluded that my senses were impressed by a certain air of gravity, sadness, or, still more
properly, of weariness, which took something from the youth and freshness of the countenance, only to
endow it with a seraphic tenderness and majesty, and thus, of course, to my enthusiastic and romantic
temperment, with an interest tenfold.
While I thus feasted my eyes, I perceived, at last, to my great trepidation, by an almost imperceptible
start on the part of the lady, that she had become suddenly aware of the intensity of my gaze. Still, I was
absolutely fascinated, and could not withdraw it, even for an instant. She turned aside her face, and again
I saw only the chiselled contour of the back portion of the head. After some minutes, as if urged by
curiosity to see if I was still looking, she gradually brought her face again around and again encountered
my burning gaze. Her large dark eyes fell instantly, and a deep blush mantled her cheek. But what was
my astonishment at perceiving that she not only did not a second time avert her head, but that she
actually took from her girdle a double eyeglass -- elevated it -- adjusted it -- and then regarded me
through it, intently and deliberately, for the space of several minutes.
Had a thunderbolt fallen at my feet I could not have been more thoroughly astounded -- astounded only --
not offended or disgusted in the slightest degree; although an action so bold in any other woman would
have been likely to offend or disgust. But the whole thing was done with so much quietude -- so much
nonchalance -- so much repose- with so evident an air of the highest breeding, in short -- that nothing of
mere effrontery was perceptible, and my sole sentiments were those of admiration and surprise.
I observed that, upon her first elevation of the glass, she had seemed satisfied with a momentary
inspection of my person, and was withdrawing the instrument, when, as if struck by a second thought, she
resumed it, and so continued to regard me with fixed attention for the space of several minutes -- for five
minutes, at the very least, I am sure.
This action, so remarkable in an American theatre, attracted very general observation, and gave rise to an
indefinite movement, or buzz, among the audience, which for a moment filled me with confusion, but
produced no visible effect upon the countenance of Madame Lalande.
Having satisfied her curiosity -- if such it was -- she dropped the glass, and quietly gave her attention
again to the stage; her profile now being turned toward myself, as before. I continued to watch her
unremittingly, although I was fully conscious of my rudeness in so doing. Presently I saw the head slowly
and slightly change its position; and soon I became convinced that the lady, while pretending to look at
the stage was, in fact, attentively regarding myself. It is needless to say what effect this conduct, on the
part of so fascinating a woman, had upon my excitable mind.
Having thus scrutinized me for perhaps a quarter of an hour, the fair object of my passion addressed the
gentleman who attended her, and while she spoke, I saw distinctly, by the glances of both, that the
conversation had reference to myself.
Upon its conclusion, Madame Lalande again turned toward the stage, and, for a few minutes, seemed
absorbed in the performance. At the expiration of this period, however, I was thrown into an extremity of
agitation by seeing her unfold, for the second time, the eye-glass which hung at her side, fully confront
me as before, and, disregarding the renewed buzz of the audience, survey me, from head to foot, with the
same miraculous composure which had previously so delighted and confounded my soul.
This extraordinary behavior, by throwing me into a perfect fever of excitement -- into an absolute delirium
of love-served rather to embolden than to disconcert me. In the mad intensity of my devotion, I forgot
everything but the presence and the majestic loveliness of the vision which confronted my gaze. Watching
my opportunity, when I thought the audience were fully engaged with the opera, I at length caught the
eyes of Madame Lalande, and, upon the instant, made a slight but unmistakable bow.
She blushed very deeply -- then averted her eyes -- then slowly and cautiously looked around, apparently
to see if my rash action had been noticed -- then leaned over toward the gentleman who sat by her side.
I now felt a burning sense of the impropriety I had committed, and expected nothing less than instant
exposure; while a vision of pistols upon the morrow floated rapidly and uncomfortably through my brain. I
was greatly and immediately relieved, however, when I saw the lady merely hand the gentleman a play-
bill, without speaking, but the reader may form some feeble conception of my astonishment -- of my
profound amazement -- my delirious bewilderment of heart and soul -- when, instantly afterward, having
again glanced furtively around, she allowed her bright eyes to set fully and steadily upon my own, and
then, with a faint smile, disclosing a bright line of her pearly teeth, made two distinct, pointed, and
unequivocal affirmative inclinations of the head.
It is useless, of course, to dwell upon my joy -- upon my transport- upon my illimitable ecstasy of heart. If
ever man was mad with excess of happiness, it was myself at that moment. I loved. This was my first love
-- so I felt it to be. It was love supreme-indescribable. It was "love at first sight;" and at first sight, too, it
had been appreciated and returned.
Yes, returned. How and why should I doubt it for an instant. What other construction could I possibly put
upon such conduct, on the part of a lady so beautiful -- so wealthy -- evidently so accomplished -- of so
high breeding -- of so lofty a position in society -- in every regard so entirely respectable as I felt assured
was Madame Lalande? Yes, she loved me -- she returned the enthusiasm of my love, with an enthusiasm
as blind -- as uncompromising -- as uncalculating -- as abandoned -- and as utterly unbounded as my own!
These delicious fancies and reflections, however, were now interrupted by the falling of the drop-curtain.
The audience arose; and the usual tumult immediately supervened. Quitting Talbot abruptly, I made every
effort to force my way into closer proximity with Madame Lalande. Having failed in this, on account of the
crowd, I at length gave up the chase, and bent my steps homeward; consoling myself for my
disappointment in not having been able to touch even the hem of her robe, by the reflection that I should
be introduced by Talbot, in due form, upon the morrow.
This morrow at last came, that is to say, a day finally dawned upon a long and weary night of impatience;
and then the hours until "one" were snail-paced, dreary, and innumerable. But even Stamboul, it is said,
shall have an end, and there came an end to this long delay. The clock struck. As the last echo ceased, I
stepped into B--'s and inquired for Talbot.
"Out!" I replied, staggering back half a dozen paces -- "let me tell you, my fine fellow, that this thing is
thoroughly impossible and impracticable; Mr. Talbot is not out. What do you mean?"
"Nothing, sir; only Mr. Talbot is not in, that's all. He rode over to S--, immediately after breakfast, and left
word that he would not be in town again for a week."
I stood petrified with horror and rage. I endeavored to reply, but my tongue refused its office. At length I
turned on my heel, livid with wrath, and inwardly consigning the whole tribe of the Talbots to the
innermost regions of Erebus. It was evident that my considerate friend, il fanatico, had quite forgotten his
appointment with myself -- had forgotten it as soon as it was made. At no time was he a very scrupulous
man of his word. There was no help for it; so smothering my vexation as well as I could, I strolled moodily
up the street, propounding futile inquiries about Madame Lalande to every male acquaintance I met. By
report she was known, I found, to all- to many by sight -- but she had been in town only a few weeks, and
there were very few, therefore, who claimed her personal acquaintance. These few, being still
comparatively strangers, could not, or would not, take the liberty of introducing me through the formality
of a morning call. While I stood thus in despair, conversing with a trio of friends upon the all absorbing
subject of my heart, it so happened that the subject itself passed by.
I looked; and in an open carriage which approached us, passing slowly down the street, sat the
enchanting vision of the opera, accompanied by the younger lady who had occupied a portion of her box.
"Her companion also wears remarkably well," said the one of my trio who had spoken first.
"Astonishingly," said the second; "still quite a brilliant air, but art will do wonders. Upon my word, she
looks better than she did at Paris five years ago. A beautiful woman still; -- don't you think so, Froissart? --
Simpson, I mean."
"Still!" said I, "and why shouldn't she be? But compared with her friend she is as a rush -- light to the
evening star -- a glow -- worm to Antares.
"Ha! ha! ha! -- why, Simpson, you have an astonishing tact at making discoveries -- original ones, I mean."
And here we separated, while one of the trio began humming a gay vaudeville, of which I caught only the
lines-
During this little scene, however, one thing had served greatly to console me, although it fed the passion
by which I was consumed. As the carriage of Madame Lalande rolled by our group, I had observed that
she recognized me; and more than this, she had blessed me, by the most seraphic of all imaginable
smiles, with no equivocal mark of the recognition.
As for an introduction, I was obliged to abandon all hope of it until such time as Talbot should think
proper to return from the country. In the meantime I perseveringly frequented every reputable place of
public amusement; and, at length, at the theatre, where I first saw her, I had the supreme bliss of meeting
her, and of exchanging glances with her once again. This did not occur, however, until the lapse of a
fortnight. Every day, in the interim, I had inquired for Talbot at his hotel, and every day had been thrown
into a spasm of wrath by the everlasting "Not come home yet" of his footman.
Upon the evening in question, therefore, I was in a condition little short of madness. Madame Lalande, I
had been told, was a Parisian -- had lately arrived from Paris -- might she not suddenly return? -- return
before Talbot came back -- and might she not be thus lost to me forever? The thought was too terrible to
bear. Since my future happiness was at issue, I resolved to act with a manly decision. In a word, upon the
breaking up of the play, I traced the lady to her residence, noted the address, and the next morning sent
her a full and elaborate letter, in which I poured out my whole heart.
I spoke boldly, freely -- in a word, I spoke with passion. I concealed nothing -- nothing even of my
weakness. I alluded to the romantic circumstances of our first meeting -- even to the glances which had
passed between us. I went so far as to say that I felt assured of her love; while I offered this assurance,
and my own intensity of devotion, as two excuses for my otherwise unpardonable conduct. As a third, I
spoke of my fear that she might quit the city before I could have the opportunity of a formal introduction.
I concluded the most wildly enthusiastic epistle ever penned, with a frank declaration of my worldly
circumstances -- of my affluence -- and with an offer of my heart and of my hand.
In an agony of expectation I awaited the reply. After what seemed the lapse of a century it came.
Yes, actually came. Romantic as all this may appear, I really received a letter from Madame Lalande -- the
beautiful, the wealthy, the idolized Madame Lalande. Her eyes -- her magnificent eyes, had not belied her
noble heart. Like a true Frenchwoman as she was she had obeyed the frank dictates of her reason -- the
generous impulses of her nature -- despising the conventional pruderies of the world. She had not scorned
my proposals. She had not sheltered herself in silence. She had not returned my letter unopened. She had
even sent me, in reply, one penned by her own exquisite fingers. It ran thus:
"Monsieur Simpson vill pardonne me for not compose de butefulle tong of his contree so vell as might. It
is only de late dat I am arrive, and not yet ave do opportunite for to -- l'etudier.
"Vid dis apologie for the maniere, I vill now say dat, helas!- Monsieur Simpson ave guess but de too true.
Need I say de more? Helas! am I not ready speak de too moshe?
"EUGENIE LALAND."
This noble -- spirited note I kissed a million times, and committed, no doubt, on its account, a thousand
other extravagances that have now escaped my memory. Still Talbot would not return. Alas! could he have
formed even the vaguest idea of the suffering his absence had occasioned his friend, would not his
sympathizing nature have flown immediately to my relief? Still, however, he came not. I wrote. He replied.
He was detained by urgent business -- but would shortly return. He begged me not to be impatient -- to
moderate my transports -- to read soothing books -- to drink nothing stronger than Hock -- and to bring
the consolations of philosophy to my aid. The fool! if he could not come himself, why, in the name of every
thing rational, could he not have enclosed me a letter of presentation? I wrote him again, entreating him
to forward one forthwith. My letter was returned by that footman, with the following endorsement in
pencil. The scoundrel had joined his master in the country:
"Left S- -- yesterday, for parts unknown -- did not say where -- or when be back -- so thought best to return
letter, knowing your handwriting, and as how you is always, more or less, in a hurry.
"Yours sincerely,
"STUBBS."
After this, it is needless to say, that I devoted to the infernal deities both master and valet: -- but there
was little use in anger, and no consolation at all in complaint.
But I had yet a resource left, in my constitutional audacity. Hitherto it had served me well, and I now
resolved to make it avail me to the end. Besides, after the correspondence which had passed between us,
what act of mere informality could I commit, within bounds, that ought to be regarded as indecorous by
Madame Lalande? Since the affair of the letter, I had been in the habit of watching her house, and thus
discovered that, about twilight, it was her custom to promenade, attended only by a negro in livery, in a
public square overlooked by her windows. Here, amid the luxuriant and shadowing groves, in the gray
gloom of a sweet midsummer evening, I observed my opportunity and accosted her.
The better to deceive the servant in attendance, I did this with the assured air of an old and familiar
acquaintance. With a presence of mind truly Parisian, she took the cue at once, and, to greet me, held out
the most bewitchingly little of hands. The valet at once fell into the rear, and now, with hearts full to
overflowing, we discoursed long and unreservedly of our love.
As Madame Lalande spoke English even less fluently than she wrote it, our conversation was necessarily
in French. In this sweet tongue, so adapted to passion, I gave loose to the impetuous enthusiasm of my
nature, and, with all the eloquence I could command, besought her to consent to an immediate marriage.
At this impatience she smiled. She urged the old story of decorum- that bug-bear which deters so many
from bliss until the opportunity for bliss has forever gone by. I had most imprudently made it known
among my friends, she observed, that I desired her acquaintance- thus that I did not possess it -- thus,
again, there was no possibility of concealing the date of our first knowledge of each other. And then she
adverted, with a blush, to the extreme recency of this date. To wed immediately would be improper --
would be indecorous -- would be outre. All this she said with a charming air of naivete which enraptured
while it grieved and convinced me. She went even so far as to accuse me, laughingly, of rashness -- of
imprudence. She bade me remember that I really even know not who she was -- what were her prospects,
her connections, her standing in society. She begged me, but with a sigh, to reconsider my proposal, and
termed my love an infatuation -- a will o' the wisp -- a fancy or fantasy of the moment -- a baseless and
unstable creation rather of the imagination than of the heart. These things she uttered as the shadows of
the sweet twilight gathered darkly and more darkly around us -- and then, with a gentle pressure of her
fairy-like hand, overthrew, in a single sweet instant, all the argumentative fabric she had reared.
I replied as best I could -- as only a true lover can. I spoke at length, and perseveringly of my devotion, of
my passion -- of her exceeding beauty, and of my own enthusiastic admiration. In conclusion, I dwelt, with
a convincing energy, upon the perils that encompass the course of love -- that course of true love that
never did run smooth -- and thus deduced the manifest danger of rendering that course unnecessarily
long.
This latter argument seemed finally to soften the rigor of her determination. She relented; but there was
yet an obstacle, she said, which she felt assured I had not properly considered. This was a delicate point --
for a woman to urge, especially so; in mentioning it, she saw that she must make a sacrifice of her
feelings; still, for me, every sacrifice should be made. She alluded to the topic of age. Was I aware -- was I
fully aware of the discrepancy between us? That the age of the husband, should surpass by a few years --
even by fifteen or twenty -- the age of the wife, was regarded by the world as admissible, and, indeed, as
even proper, but she had always entertained the belief that the years of the wife should never exceed in
number those of the husband. A discrepancy of this unnatural kind gave rise, too frequently, alas! to a life
of unhappiness. Now she was aware that my own age did not exceed two and twenty; and I, on the
contrary, perhaps, was not aware that the years of my Eugenie extended very considerably beyond that
sum.
About all this there was a nobility of soul -- a dignity of candor- which delighted -- which enchanted me --
which eternally riveted my chains. I could scarcely restrain the excessive transport which possessed me.
"My sweetest Eugenie," I cried, "what is all this about which you are discoursing? Your years surpass in
some measure my own. But what then? The customs of the world are so many conventional follies. To
those who love as ourselves, in what respect differs a year from an hour? I am twenty-two, you say,
granted: indeed, you may as well call me, at once, twenty-three. Now you yourself, my dearest Eugenie,
can have numbered no more than -- can have numbered no more than -- no more than -- than -- than --
than-"
Here I paused for an instant, in the expectation that Madame Lalande would interrupt me by supplying
her true age. But a Frenchwoman is seldom direct, and has always, by way of answer to an embarrassing
query, some little practical reply of her own. In the present instance, Eugenie, who for a few moments
past had seemed to be searching for something in her bosom, at length let fall upon the grass a miniature,
which I immediately picked up and presented to her.
"Keep it!" she said, with one of her most ravishing smiles. "Keep it for my sake -- for the sake of her whom
it too flatteringly represents. Besides, upon the back of the trinket you may discover, perhaps, the very
information you seem to desire. It is now, to be sure, growing rather dark -- but you can examine it at your
leisure in the morning. In the meantime, you shall be my escort home to-night. My friends are about
holding a little musical levee. I can promise you, too, some good singing. We French are not nearly so
punctilious as you Americans, and I shall have no difficulty in smuggling you in, in the character of an old
acquaintance."
With this, she took my arm, and I attended her home. The mansion was quite a fine one, and, I believe,
furnished in good taste. Of this latter point, however, I am scarcely qualified to judge; for it was just dark
as we arrived; and in American mansions of the better sort lights seldom, during the heat of summer,
make their appearance at this, the most pleasant period of the day. In about an hour after my arrival, to
be sure, a single shaded solar lamp was lit in the principal drawing-room; and this apartment, I could thus
see, was arranged with unusual good taste and even splendor; but two other rooms of the suite, and in
which the company chiefly assembled, remained, during the whole evening, in a very agreeable shadow.
This is a well-conceived custom, giving the party at least a choice of light or shade, and one which our
friends over the water could not do better than immediately adopt.
The evening thus spent was unquestionably the most delicious of my life. Madame Lalande had not
overrated the musical abilities of her friends; and the singing I here heard I had never heard excelled in
any private circle out of Vienna. The instrumental performers were many and of superior talents. The
vocalists were chiefly ladies, and no individual sang less than well. At length, upon a peremptory call for
"Madame Lalande," she arose at once, without affectation or demur, from the chaise longue upon which
she had sat by my side, and, accompanied by one or two gentlemen and her female friend of the opera,
repaired to the piano in the main drawing-room. I would have escorted her myself, but felt that, under the
circumstances of my introduction to the house, I had better remain unobserved where I was. I was thus
deprived of the pleasure of seeing, although not of hearing, her sing.
The impression she produced upon the company seemed electrical but the effect upon myself was
something even more. I know not how adequately to describe it. It arose in part, no doubt, from the
sentiment of love with which I was imbued; but chiefly from my conviction of the extreme sensibility of
the singer. It is beyond the reach of art to endow either air or recitative with more impassioned
expression than was hers. Her utterance of the romance in Otello -- the tone with which she gave the
words "Sul mio sasso," in the Capuletti -- is ringing in my memory yet. Her lower tones were absolutely
miraculous. Her voice embraced three complete octaves, extending from the contralto D to the D upper
soprano, and, though sufficiently powerful to have filled the San Carlos, executed, with the minutest
precision, every difficulty of vocal composition-ascending and descending scales, cadences, or fiorituri. In
the final of the Somnambula, she brought about a most remarkable effect at the words:
Here, in imitation of Malibran, she modified the original phrase of Bellini, so as to let her voice descend to
the tenor G, when, by a rapid transition, she struck the G above the treble stave, springing over an
interval of two octaves.
Upon rising from the piano after these miracles of vocal execution, she resumed her seat by my side;
when I expressed to her, in terms of the deepest enthusiasm, my delight at her performance. Of my
surprise I said nothing, and yet was I most unfeignedly surprised; for a certain feebleness, or rather a
certain tremulous indecision of voice in ordinary conversation, had prepared me to anticipate that, in
singing, she would not acquit herself with any remarkable ability.
Our conversation was now long, earnest, uninterrupted, and totally unreserved. She made me relate
many of the earlier passages of my life, and listened with breathless attention to every word of the
narrative. I concealed nothing -- felt that I had a right to conceal nothing -- from her confiding affection.
Encouraged by her candor upon the delicate point of her age, I entered, with perfect frankness, not only
into a detail of my many minor vices, but made full confession of those moral and even of those physical
infirmities, the disclosure of which, in demanding so much higher a degree of courage, is so much surer
an evidence of love. I touched upon my college indiscretions -- upon my extravagances -- upon my
carousals- upon my debts -- upon my flirtations. I even went so far as to speak of a slightly hectic cough
with which, at one time, I had been troubled -- of a chronic rheumatism -- of a twinge of hereditary gout-
and, in conclusion, of the disagreeable and inconvenient, but hitherto carefully concealed, weakness of
my eyes.
"Upon this latter point," said Madame Lalande, laughingly, "you have been surely injudicious in coming to
confession; for, without the confession, I take it for granted that no one would have accused you of the
crime. By the by," she continued, "have you any recollection-" and here I fancied that a blush, even
through the gloom of the apartment, became distinctly visible upon her cheek -- "have you any
recollection, mon cher ami of this little ocular assistant, which now depends from my neck?"
As she spoke she twirled in her fingers the identical double eye-glass which had so overwhelmed me with
confusion at the opera.
"Full well -- alas! do I remember it," I exclaimed, pressing passionately the delicate hand which offered
the glasses for my inspection. They formed a complex and magnificent toy, richly chased and filigreed,
and gleaming with jewels, which, even in the deficient light, I could not help perceiving were of high
value.
"Eh bien! mon ami" she resumed with a certain empressment of manner that rather surprised me -- "Eh
bien! mon ami, you have earnestly besought of me a favor which you have been pleased to denominate
priceless. You have demanded of me my hand upon the morrow. Should I yield to your entreaties -- and, I
may add, to the pleadings of my own bosom -- would I not be entitled to demand of you a very -- a very
little boon in return?"
"Name it!" I exclaimed with an energy that had nearly drawn upon us the observation of the company, and
restrained by their presence alone from throwing myself impetuously at her feet. "Name it, my beloved,
my Eugenie, my own! -- name it! -- but, alas! it is already yielded ere named."
"You shall conquer, then, mon ami," said she, "for the sake of the Eugenie whom you love, this little
weakness which you have at last confessed -- this weakness more moral than physical -- and which, let me
assure you, is so unbecoming the nobility of your real nature -- so inconsistent with the candor of your
usual character -- and which, if permitted further control, will assuredly involve you, sooner or later, in
some very disagreeable scrape. You shall conquer, for my sake, this affectation which leads you, as you
yourself acknowledge, to the tacit or implied denial of your infirmity of vision. For, this infirmity you
virtually deny, in refusing to employ the customary means for its relief. You will understand me to say,
then, that I wish you to wear spectacles; -- ah, hush! -- you have already consented to wear them, for my
sake. You shall accept the little toy which I now hold in my hand, and which, though admirable as an aid
to vision, is really of no very immense value as a gem. You perceive that, by a trifling modification thus --
or thus -- it can be adapted to the eyes in the form of spectacles, or worn in the waistcoat pocket as an
eye-glass. It is in the former mode, however, and habitually, that you have already consented to wear it for
my sake."
This request -- must I confess it? -- confused me in no little degree. But the condition with which it was
coupled rendered hesitation, of course, a matter altogether out of the question.
"It is done!" I cried, with all the enthusiasm that I could muster at the moment. "It is done -- it is most
cheerfully agreed. I sacrifice every feeling for your sake. To-night I wear this dear eye-glass, as an eye-
glass, and upon my heart; but with the earliest dawn of that morning which gives me the pleasure of
calling you wife, I will place it upon my -- upon my nose, -- and there wear it ever afterward, in the less
romantic, and less fashionable, but certainly in the more serviceable, form which you desire."
Our conversation now turned upon the details of our arrangements for the morrow. Talbot, I learned from
my betrothed, had just arrived in town. I was to see him at once, and procure a carriage. The soiree
would scarcely break up before two; and by this hour the vehicle was to be at the door, when, in the
confusion occasioned by the departure of the company, Madame L. could easily enter it unobserved. We
were then to call at the house of a clergyman who would be in waiting; there be married, drop Talbot, and
proceed on a short tour to the East, leaving the fashionable world at home to make whatever comments
upon the matter it thought best.
Having planned all this, I immediately took leave, and went in search of Talbot, but, on the way, I could
not refrain from stepping into a hotel, for the purpose of inspecting the miniature; and this I did by the
powerful aid of the glasses. The countenance was a surpassingly beautiful one! Those large luminous
eyes! -- that proud Grecian nose! -- those dark luxuriant curls! -- "Ah!" said I, exultingly to myself, "this is
indeed the speaking image of my beloved!" I turned the reverse, and discovered the words -- "Eugenie
Lalande -- aged twenty-seven years and seven months."
I found Talbot at home, and proceeded at once to acquaint him with my good fortune. He professed
excessive astonishment, of course, but congratulated me most cordially, and proffered every assistance in
his power. In a word, we carried out our arrangement to the letter, and, at two in the morning, just ten
minutes after the ceremony, I found myself in a close carriage with Madame Lalande -- with Mrs.
Simpson, I should say -- and driving at a great rate out of town, in a direction Northeast by North, half-
North.
It had been determined for us by Talbot, that, as we were to be up all night, we should make our first stop
at C--, a village about twenty miles from the city, and there get an early breakfast and some repose,
before proceeding upon our route. At four precisely, therefore, the carriage drew up at the door of the
principal inn. I handed my adored wife out, and ordered breakfast forthwith. In the meantime we were
shown into a small parlor, and sat down.
It was now nearly if not altogether daylight; and, as I gazed, enraptured, at the angel by my side, the
singular idea came, all at once, into my head, that this was really the very first moment since my
acquaintance with the celebrated loveliness of Madame Lalande, that I had enjoyed a near inspection of
that loveliness by daylight at all.
"And now, mon ami," said she, taking my hand, and so interrupting this train of reflection, "and now, mon
cher ami, since we are indissolubly one -- since I have yielded to your passionate entreaties, and
performed my portion of our agreement -- I presume you have not forgotten that you also have a little
favor to bestow -- a little promise which it is your intention to keep. Ah! let me see! Let me remember!
Yes; full easily do I call to mind the precise words of the dear promise you made to Eugenie last night.
Listen! You spoke thus: 'It is done! -- it is most cheerfully agreed! I sacrifice every feeling for your sake.
To-night I wear this dear eye-glass as an eye-glass, and upon my heart; but with the earliest dawn of that
morning which gives me the privilege of calling you wife, I will place it upon my -- upon my nose, -- and
there wear it ever afterward, in the less romantic, and less fashionable, but certainly in the more
serviceable, form which you desire.' These were the exact words, my beloved husband, were they not?"
"They were," I said; "you have an excellent memory; and assuredly, my beautiful Eugenie, there is no
disposition on my part to evade the performance of the trivial promise they imply. See! Behold! they are
becoming -- rather -- are they not?" And here, having arranged the glasses in the ordinary form of
spectacles, I applied them gingerly in their proper position; while Madame Simpson, adjusting her cap,
and folding her arms, sat bolt upright in her chair, in a somewhat stiff and prim, and indeed, in a
somewhat undignified position.
"Goodness gracious me!" I exclaimed, almost at the very instant that the rim of the spectacles had settled
upon my nose -- "My goodness gracious me! -- why, what can be the matter with these glasses?" and
taking them quickly off, I wiped them carefully with a silk handkerchief, and adjusted them again.
But if, in the first instance, there had occurred something which occasioned me surprise, in the second,
this surprise became elevated into astonishment; and this astonishment was profound -- was extreme-
indeed I may say it was horrific. What, in the name of everything hideous, did this mean? Could I believe
my eyes? -- could I? -- that was the question. Was that -- was that -- was that rouge? And were those- and
were those -- were those wrinkles, upon the visage of Eugenie Lalande? And oh! Jupiter, and every one of
the gods and goddesses, little and big! what -- what -- what -- what had become of her teeth? I dashed the
spectacles violently to the ground, and, leaping to my feet, stood erect in the middle of the floor,
confronting Mrs. Simpson, with my arms set a-kimbo, and grinning and foaming, but, at the same time,
utterly speechless with terror and with rage.
Now I have already said that Madame Eugenie Lalande -- that is to say, Simpson -- spoke the English
language but very little better than she wrote it, and for this reason she very properly never attempted to
speak it upon ordinary occasions. But rage will carry a lady to any extreme; and in the present care it
carried Mrs. Simpson to the very extraordinary extreme of attempting to hold a conversation in a tongue
that she did not altogether understand.
"Vell, Monsieur," said she, after surveying me, in great apparent astonishment, for some moments -- "Vell,
Monsieur? -- and vat den? -- vat de matter now? Is it de dance of de Saint itusse dat you ave? If not like
me, vat for vy buy de pig in the poke?"
"You wretch!" said I, catching my breath -- "you -- you -- you villainous old hag!"
"Ag? -- ole? -- me not so ver ole, after all! Me not one single day more dan de eighty-doo."
"Eighty-two!" I ejaculated, staggering to the wall -- "eighty-two hundred thousand baboons! The miniature
said twenty-seven years and seven months!"
"To be sure! -- dat is so! -- ver true! but den de portraite has been take for dese fifty-five year. Ven I go
marry my segonde usbande, Monsieur Lalande, at dat time I had de portraite take for my daughter by my
first usbande, Monsieur Moissart!"
"Moissart!" said I.
"Yes, Moissart," said she, mimicking my pronunciation, which, to speak the truth, was none of the best, --
"and vat den? Vat you know about de Moissart?"
"Nothing, you old fright! -- I know nothing about him at all; only I had an ancestor of that name, once
upon a time."
"Dat name! and vat you ave for say to dat name? 'Tis ver goot name; and so is Voissart -- dat is ver goot
name too. My daughter, Mademoiselle Moissart, she marry von Monsieur Voissart, -- and de name is bot
ver respectaable name."
"Vat I mean? -- I mean Moissart and Voissart; and for de matter of dat, I mean Croissart and Froisart, too,
if I only tink proper to mean it. My daughter's daughter, Mademoiselle Voissart, she marry von Monsieur
Croissart, and den again, my daughter's grande daughter, Mademoiselle Croissart, she marry von
Monsieur Froissart; and I suppose you say dat dat is not von ver respectaable name.-"
"Froissart!" said I, beginning to faint, "why, surely you don't say Moissart, and Voissart, and Croissart, and
Froissart?"
"Yes," she replied, leaning fully back in her chair, and stretching out her lower limbs at great length; "yes,
Moissart, and Voissart, and Croissart, and Froissart. But Monsieur Froissart, he vas von ver big vat you
call fool -- he vas von ver great big donce like yourself -- for he lef la belle France for come to dis stupide
Amerique- and ven he get here he went and ave von ver stupide, von ver, ver stupide sonn, so I hear,
dough I not yet av ad de plaisir to meet vid him -- neither me nor my companion, de Madame Stephanie
Lalande. He is name de Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart, and I suppose you say dat dat, too, is not von ver
respectable name."
Either the length or the nature of this speech, had the effect of working up Mrs. Simpson into a very
extraordinary passion indeed; and as she made an end of it, with great labor, she lumped up from her
chair like somebody bewitched, dropping upon the floor an entire universe of bustle as she lumped. Once
upon her feet, she gnashed her gums, brandished her arms, rolled up her sleeves, shook her fist in my
face, and concluded the performance by tearing the cap from her head, and with it an immense wig of the
most valuable and beautiful black hair, the whole of which she dashed upon the ground with a yell, and
there trammpled and danced a fandango upon it, in an absolute ecstasy and agony of rage.
Meantime I sank aghast into the chair which she had vacated. "Moissart and Voissart!" I repeated,
thoughtfully, as she cut one of her pigeon-wings, and "Croissart and Froissart!" as she completed another
-- "Moissart and Voissart and Croissart and Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart! -- why, you ineffable old
serpent, that's me -- that's me -- d'ye hear? that's me" -- here I screamed at the top of my voice -- "that's
me-e-e! I am Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart! and if I havn't married my great, great, grandmother, I wish I
may be everlastingly confounded!"
Madame Eugenie Lalande, quasi Simpson -- formerly Moissart -- was, in sober fact, my great, great,
grandmother. In her youth she had been beautiful, and even at eighty-two, retained the majestic height,
the sculptural contour of head, the fine eyes and the Grecian nose of her girlhood. By the aid of these, of
pearl-powder, of rouge, of false hair, false teeth, and false tournure, as well as of the most skilful modistes
of Paris, she contrived to hold a respectable footing among the beauties en peu passees of the French
metropolis. In this respect, indeed, she might have been regarded as little less than the equal of the
celebrated Ninon De L'Enclos.
She was immensely wealthy, and being left, for the second time, a widow without children, she bethought
herself of my existence in America, and for the purpose of making me her heir, paid a visit to the United
States, in company with a distant and exceedingly lovely relative of her second husband's -- a Madame
Stephanie Lalande.
At the opera, my great, great, grandmother's attention was arrested by my notice; and, upon surveying
me through her eye-glass, she was struck with a certain family resemblance to herself. Thus interested,
and knowing that the heir she sought was actually in the city, she made inquiries of her party respecting
me. The gentleman who attended her knew my person, and told her who I was. The information thus
obtained induced her to renew her scrutiny; and this scrutiny it was which so emboldened me that I
behaved in the absurd manner already detailed. She returned my bow, however, under the impression
that, by some odd accident, I had discovered her identity. When, deceived by my weakness of vision, and
the arts of the toilet, in respect to the age and charms of the strange lady, I demanded so enthusiastically
of Talbot who she was, he concluded that I meant the younger beauty, as a matter of course, and so
informed me, with perfect truth, that she was "the celebrated widow, Madame Lalande."
In the street, next morning, my great, great, grandmother encountered Talbot, an old Parisian
acquaintance; and the conversation, very naturally turned upon myself. My deficiencies of vision were
then explained; for these were notorious, although I was entirely ignorant of their notoriety, and my good
old relative discovered, much to her chagrin, that she had been deceived in supposing me aware of her
identity, and that I had been merely making a fool of myself in making open love, in a theatre, to an old
woman unknown. By way of punishing me for this imprudence, she concocted with Talbot a plot. He
purposely kept out of my way to avoid giving me the introduction. My street inquiries about "the lovely
widow, Madame Lalande," were supposed to refer to the younger lady, of course, and thus the
conversation with the three gentlemen whom I encountered shortly after leaving Talbot's hotel will be
easily explained, as also their allusion to Ninon De L'Enclos. I had no opportunity of seeing Madame
Lalande closely during daylight; and, at her musical soiree, my silly weakness in refusing the aid of
glasses effectually prevented me from making a discovery of her age. When "Madame Lalande" was called
upon to sing, the younger lady was intended; and it was she who arose to obey the call; my great, great,
grandmother, to further the deception, arising at the same moment and accompanying her to the piano in
the main drawing-room. Had I decided upon escorting her thither, it had been her design to suggest the
propriety of my remaining where I was; but my own prudential views rendered this unnecessary. The
songs which I so much admired, and which so confirmed my impression of the youth of my mistress, were
executed by Madame Stephanie Lalande. The eyeglass was presented by way of adding a reproof to the
hoax -- a sting to the epigram of the deception. Its presentation afforded an opportunity for the lecture
upon affectation with which I was so especially edified. It is almost superfluous to add that the glasses of
the instrument, as worn by the old lady, had been exchanged by her for a pair better adapted to my years.
They suited me, in fact, to a T.
The clergyman, who merely pretended to tie the fatal knot, was a boon companion of Talbot's, and no
priest. He was an excellent "whip," however; and having doffed his cassock to put on a great-coat, he
drove the hack which conveyed the "happy couple" out of town. Talbot took a seat at his side. The two
scoundrels were thus "in at the death," and through a half-open window of the back parlor of the inn,
amused themselves in grinning at the denouement of the drama. I believe I shall be forced to call them
both out.
Nevertheless, I am not the husband of my great, great, grandmother; and this is a reflection which affords
me infinite relief, -- but I am the husband of Madame Lalande -- of Madame Stephanie Lalande -- with
whom my good old relative, besides making me her sole heir when she dies -- if she ever does -- has been
at the trouble of concocting me a match. In conclusion: I am done forever with billets doux and am never
to be met without SPECTACLES.
THE SPHINX
DURING the dread reign of the Cholera in New York, I had accepted the invitation of a relative to spend a
fortnight with him in the retirement of his cottage ornee on the banks of the Hudson. We had here around
us all the ordinary means of summer amusement; and what with rambling in the woods, sketching,
boating, fishing, bathing, music, and books, we s hould have passed the time pleasantly enough, but for
the fearful intelligence which reached us every morning from the populous city. Not a day elapsed which
did not bring us news of the decease of some acquaintance. Then as the fatality increased, we learned to
expect daily the loss of some friend. At length we trembled at the approach of every messenger. The very
air from the South seemed to us redolent with death. That palsying thought, indeed, took entire
possession of my soul. I could neither speak, think, nor dream of any thing else. My host was of a less
excitable temperament, and, although greatly depressed in spirits, exerted himself to sustain my own. His
richly philosophical intellect was not at any time affected by unrealities. To the substances of terror he
was sufficiently alive, but of its shadows he had no apprehension.
His endeavors to arouse me from the condition of abnormal gloom into which I had fallen, were
frustrated, in great measure, by certain volumes which I had found in his library. These were of a
character to force into germination whatever seeds of hereditary superstition lay latent in my bosom. I
had been reading these books without his knowledge, and thus he was often at a loss to account for the
forcible impressions which had been made upon my fancy.
A favorite topic with me was the popular belief in omens -- a belief which, at this one epoch of my life, I
was almost seriously disposed to defend. On this subject we had long and animated discussions -- he
maintaining the utter groundlessness of faith in such matters, -- I contending that a popular sentiment
arising with absolute spontaneitythat is to say, without apparent traces of suggestion -- had in itself the
unmistakable elements of truth, and was entitled to as much respect as that intuition which is the
idiosyncrasy of the individual man of genius.
The fact is, that soon after my arrival at the cottage there had occurred to myself an incident so entirely
inexplicable, and which had in it so much of the portentous character, that I might well have been
excused for regarding it as an omen. It appalled, and at the same time so confounded and bewildered me,
that many days elapsed before I could make up my mind to communicate the circumstances to my friend.
Near the close of exceedingly warm day, I was sitting, book in hand, at an open window, commanding,
through a long vista of the river banks, a view of a distant hill, the face of which nearest my position had
been denuded by what is termed a land-slide, of the principal portion of its trees. My thoughts had been
long wandering from the volume before me to the gloom and desolation of the neighboring city. Uplifting
my eyes from the page, they fell upon the naked face of the bill, and upon an object -- upon some living
monster of hideous conformation, which very rapidly made its way from the summit to the bottom,
disappearing finally in the dense forest below. As this creature first came in sight, I doubted my own
sanity -- or at least the evidence of my own eyes; and many minutes passed before I succeeded in
convincing myself that I was neither mad nor in a dream. Yet when I described the monster (which I
distinctly saw, and calmly surveyed through the whole period of its progress), my readers, I fear, will feel
more difficulty in being convinced of these points than even I did myself.
Estimating the size of the creature by comparison with the diameter of the large trees near which it
passed -- the few giants of the forest which had escaped the fury of the land-slide -- I concluded it to be
far larger than any ship of the line in existence. I say ship of the line, because the shape of the monster
suggested the idea- the hull of one of our seventy-four might convey a very tolerable conception of the
general outline. The mouth of the animal was situated at the extremity of a proboscis some sixty or
seventy feet in length, and about as thick as the body of an ordinary elephant. Near the root of this trunk
was an immense quantity of black shaggy hair- more than could have been supplied by the coats of a
score of buffaloes; and projecting from this hair downwardly and laterally, sprang two gleaming tusks not
unlike those of the wild boar, but of infinitely greater dimensions. Extending forward, parallel with the
proboscis, and on each side of it, was a gigantic staff, thirty or forty feet in length, formed seemingly of
pure crystal and in shape a perfect prism, -- it reflected in the most gorgeous manner the rays of the
declining sun. The trunk was fashioned like a wedge with the apex to the earth. From it there were
outspread two pairs of wings- each wing nearly one hundred yards in length -- one pair being placed
above the other, and all thickly covered with metal scales; each scale apparently some ten or twelve feet
in diameter. I observed that the upper and lower tiers of wings were connected by a strong chain. But the
chief peculiarity of this horrible thing was the representation of a Death's Head, which covered nearly the
whole surface of its breast, and which was as accurately traced in glaring white, upon the dark ground of
the body, as if it had been there carefully designed by an artist. While I regarded the terrific animal, and
more especially the appearance on its breast, with a feeling or horror and awe -- with a sentiment of
forthcoming evil, which I found it impossible to quell by any effort of the reason, I perceived the huge
jaws at the extremity of the proboscis suddenly expand themselves, and from them there proceeded a
sound so loud and so expressive of wo, that it struck upon my nerves like a knell and as the monster
disappeared at the foot of the hill, I fell at once, fainting, to the floor.
Upon recovering, my first impulse, of course, was to inform my friend of what I had seen and heard -- and
I can scarcely explain what feeling of repugnance it was which, in the end, operated to prevent me.
At length, one evening, some three or four days after the occurrence, we were sitting together in the
room in which I had seen the apparition -- I occupying the same seat at the same window, and he lounging
on a sofa near at hand. The association of the place and time impelled me to give him an account of the
phenomenon. He heard me to the end -- at first laughed heartily -- and then lapsed into an excessively
grave demeanor, as if my insanity was a thing beyond suspicion. At this instant I again had a distinct view
of the monster- to which, with a shout of absolute terror, I now directed his attention. He looked eagerly --
but maintained that he saw nothing- although I designated minutely the course of the creature, as it made
its way down the naked face of the hill.
I was now immeasurably alarmed, for I considered the vision either as an omen of my death, or, worse, as
the fore-runner of an attack of mania. I threw myself passionately back in my chair, and for some
moments buried my face in my hands. When I uncovered my eyes, the apparition was no longer apparent.
My host, however, had in some degree resumed the calmness of his demeanor, and questioned me very
rigorously in respect to the conformation of the visionary creature. When I had fully satisfied him on this
head, he sighed deeply, as if relieved of some intolerable burden, and went on to talk, with what I thought
a cruel calmness, of various points of speculative philosophy, which had heretofore formed subject of
discussion between us. I remember his insisting very especially (among other things) upon the idea that
the principle source of error in all human investigations lay in the liability of the understanding to under-
rate or to over-value the importance of an object, through mere mis-admeasurement of its propinquity.
"To estimate properly, for example," he said, "the influence to be exercised on mankind at large by the
thorough diffusion of Democracy, the distance of the epoch at which such diffusion may possibly be
accomplished should not fail to form an item in the estimate. Yet can you tell me one writer on the subject
of government who has ever thought this particular branch of the subject worthy of discussion at all?"
He here paused for a moment, stepped to a book-case, and brought forth one of the ordinary synopses of
Natural History. Requesting me then to exchange seats with him, that he might the better distinguish the
fine print of the volume, he took my armchair at the window, and, opening the book, resumed his
discourse very much in the same tone as before.
"But for your exceeding minuteness," he said, "in describing the monster, I might never have had it in my
power to demonstrate to you what it was. In the first place, let me read to you a schoolboy account of the
genus Sphinx, of the family Crepuscularia of the order Lepidoptera, of the class of Insecta -- or insects.
The account runs thus:
"'Four membranous wings covered with little colored scales of metallic appearance; mouth forming a
rolled proboscis, produced by an elongation of the jaws, upon the sides of which are found the rudiments
of mandibles and downy palpi; the inferior wings retained to the superior by a stiff hair; antennae in the
form of an elongated club, prismatic; abdomen pointed, The Death's -- headed Sphinx has occasioned
much terror among the vulgar, at times, by the melancholy kind of cry which it utters, and the insignia of
death which it wears upon its corslet.'"
He here closed the book and leaned forward in the chair, placing himself accurately in the position which
I had occupied at the moment of beholding "the monster."
"Ah, here it is," he presently exclaimed -- "it is reascending the face of the hill, and a very remarkable
looking creature I admit it to be. Still, it is by no means so large or so distant as you imagined it, -- for the
fact is that, as it wriggles its way up this thread, which some spider has wrought along the window-sash, I
find it to be about the sixteenth of an inch in its extreme length, and also about the sixteenth of an inch
distant from the pupil of my eye."
THE SYSTEM OF DOCTOR TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER
DURING the autumn of 18--, while on a tour through the extreme southern provinces of France, my route
led me within a few miles of a certain Maison de Sante or private mad-house, about which I had heard
much in Paris from my medical friends. As I had never visited a place of the kind, I thought the
opportunity too good to be lost; and so proposed to my travelling companion (a gentleman with whom I
had made casual acquaintance a few days before) that we should turn aside, for an hour or so, and look
through the establishment. To this he objected -- pleading haste in the first place, and, in the second, a
very usual horror at the sight of a lunatic. He begged me, however, not to let any mere courtesy towards
himself interfere with the gratification of my curiosity, and said that he would ride on leisurely, so that I
might overtake him during the day, or, at all events, during the next. As he bade me good-bye, I bethought
me that there might be some difficulty in obtaining access to the premises, and mentioned my fears on
this point. He replied that, in fact, unless I had personal knowledge of the superintendent, Monsieur
Maillard, or some credential in the way of a letter, a difficulty might be found to exist, as the regulations
of these private mad-houses were more rigid than the public hospital laws. For himself, he added, he had,
some years since, made the acquaintance of Maillard, and would so far assist me as to ride up to the door
and introduce me; although his feelings on the subject of lunacy would not permit of his entering the
house.
I thanked him, and, turning from the main road, we entered a grass-grown by-path, which, in half an hour,
nearly lost itself in a dense forest, clothing the base of a mountain. Through this dank and gloomy wood
we rode some two miles, when the Maison de Sante came in view. It was a fantastic chateau, much
dilapidated, and indeed scarcely tenantable through age and neglect. Its aspect inspired me with absolute
dread, and, checking my horse, I half resolved to turn back. I soon, however, grew ashamed of my
weakness, and proceeded.
As we rode up to the gate-way, I perceived it slightly open, and the visage of a man peering through. In an
instant afterward, this man came forth, accosted my companion by name, shook him cordially by the
hand, and begged him to alight. It was Monsieur Maillard himself. He was a portly, fine-looking gentleman
of the old school, with a polished manner, and a certain air of gravity, dignity, and authority which was
very impressive.
My friend, having presented me, mentioned my desire to inspect the establishment, and received
Monsieur Maillard's assurance that he would show me all attention, now took leave, and I saw him no
more.
When he had gone, the superintendent ushered me into a small and exceedingly neat parlor, containing,
among other indications of refined taste, many books, drawings, pots of flowers, and musical instruments.
A cheerful fire blazed upon the hearth. At a piano, singing an aria from Bellini, sat a young and very
beautiful woman, who, at my entrance, paused in her song, and received me with graceful courtesy. Her
voice was low, and her whole manner subdued. I thought, too, that I perceived the traces of sorrow in her
countenance, which was excessively, although to my taste, not unpleasingly, pale. She was attired in deep
mourning, and excited in my bosom a feeling of mingled respect, interest, and admiration.
I had heard, at Paris, that the institution of Monsieur Maillard was managed upon what is vulgarly termed
the "system of soothing" -- that all punishments were avoided -- that even confinement was seldom
resorted to -- that the patients, while secretly watched, were left much apparent liberty, and that most of
them were permitted to roam about the house and grounds in the ordinary apparel of persons in right
mind.
Keeping these impressions in view, I was cautious in what I said before the young lady; for I could not be
sure that she was sane; and, in fact, there was a certain restless brilliancy about her eyes which half led
me to imagine she was not. I confined my remarks, therefore, to general topics, and to such as I thought
would not be displeasing or exciting even to a lunatic. She replied in a perfectly rational manner to all
that I said; and even her original observations were marked with the soundest good sense, but a long
acquaintance with the metaphysics of mania, had taught me to put no faith in such evidence of sanity, and
I continued to practise, throughout the interview, the caution with which I commenced it.
Presently a smart footman in livery brought in a tray with fruit, wine, and other refreshments, of which I
partook, the lady soon afterward leaving the room. As she departed I turned my eyes in an inquiring
manner toward my host.
"No," he said, "oh, no -- a member of my family -- my niece, and a most accomplished woman."
"I beg a thousand pardons for the suspicion," I replied, "but of course you will know how to excuse me.
The excellent administration of your affairs here is well understood in Paris, and I thought it just possible,
you know-
"Yes, yes -- say no more -- or rather it is myself who should thank you for the commendable prudence you
have displayed. We seldom find so much of forethought in young men; and, more than once, some
unhappy contre-temps has occurred in consequence of thoughtlessness on the part of our visitors. While
my former system was in operation, and my patients were permitted the privilege of roaming to and fro at
will, they were often aroused to a dangerous frenzy by injudicious persons who called to inspect the
house. Hence I was obliged to enforce a rigid system of exclusion; and none obtained access to the
premises upon whose discretion I could not rely."
"While your former system was in operation!" I said, repeating his words -- "do I understand you, then, to
say that the 'soothing system' of which I have heard so much is no longer in force?"
"It is now," he replied, "several weeks since we have concluded to renounce it forever."
"We found it, sir," he said, with a sigh, "absolutely necessary to return to the old usages. The danger of
the soothing system was, at all times, appalling; and its advantages have been much overrated. I believe,
sir, that in this house it has been given a fair trial, if ever in any. We did every thing that rational humanity
could suggest. I am sorry that you could not have paid us a visit at an earlier period, that you might have
judged for yourself. But I presume you are conversant with the soothing practice -- with its details."
"Not altogether. What I have heard has been at third or fourth hand."
"I may state the system, then, in general terms, as one in which the patients were menages-humored. We
contradicted no fancies which entered the brains of the mad. On the contrary, we not only indulged but
encouraged them; and many of our most permanent cures have been thus effected. There is no argument
which so touches the feeble reason of the madman as the argumentum ad absurdum. We have had men,
for example, who fancied themselves chickens. The cure was, to insist upon the thing as a fact -- to accuse
the patient of stupidity in not sufficiently perceiving it to be a fact -- and thus to refuse him any other diet
for a week than that which properly appertains to a chicken. In this manner a little corn and gravel were
made to perform wonders."
"By no means. We put much faith in amusements of a simple kind, such as music, dancing, gymnastic
exercises generally, cards, certain classes of books, and so forth. We affected to treat each individual as if
for some ordinary physical disorder, and the word 'lunacy' was never employed. A great point was to set
each lunatic to guard the actions of all the others. To repose confidence in the understanding or
discretion of a madman, is to gain him body and soul. In this way we were enabled to dispense with an
expensive body of keepers."
"None."
"Very rarely. Now and then, the malady of some individual growing to a crisis, or taking a sudden turn of
fury, we conveyed him to a secret cell, lest his disorder should infect the rest, and there kept him until we
could dismiss him to his friends -- for with the raging maniac we have nothing to do. He is usually
removed to the public hospitals."
"And you have now changed all this -- and you think for the better?"
"Decidedly. The system had its disadvantages, and even its dangers. It is now, happily, exploded
throughout all the Maisons de Sante of France."
"I am very much surprised," I said, "at what you tell me; for I made sure that, at this moment, no other
method of treatment for mania existed in any portion of the country."
"You are young yet, my friend," replied my host, "but the time will arrive when you will learn to judge for
yourself of what is going on in the world, without trusting to the gossip of others. Believe nothing you
hear, and only one-half that you see. Now about our Maisons de Sante, it is clear that some ignoramus has
misled you. After dinner, however, when you have sufficiently recovered from the fatigue of your ride, I
will be happy to take you over the house, and introduce to you a system which, in my opinion, and in that
of every one who has witnessed its operation, is incomparably the most effectual as yet devised."
In this manner I conversed with Monsieur Maillard for an hour or two, during which he showed me the
gardens and conservatories of the place.
"I cannot let you see my patients," he said, "just at present. To a sensitive mind there is always more or
less of the shocking in such exhibitions; and I do not wish to spoil your appetite for dinner. We will dine. I
can give you some veal a la Menehoult, with cauliflowers in veloute sauce -- after that a glass of Clos de
Vougeot -- then your nerves will be sufficiently steadied."
At six, dinner was announced; and my host conducted me into a large salle a manger, where a very
numerous company were assembled -- twenty-five or thirty in all. They were, apparently, people of rank-
certainly of high breeding -- although their habiliments, I thought, were extravagantly rich, partaking
somewhat too much of the ostentatious finery of the vielle cour. I noticed that at least two-thirds of these
guests were ladies; and some of the latter were by no means accoutred in what a Parisian would consider
good taste at the present day. Many females, for example, whose age could not have been less than
seventy were bedecked with a profusion of jewelry, such as rings, bracelets, and earrings, and wore their
bosoms and arms shamefully bare. I observed, too, that very few of the dresses were well made -- or, at
least, that very few of them fitted the wearers. In looking about, I discovered the interesting girl to whom
Monsieur Maillard had presented me in the little parlor; but my surprise was great to see her wearing a
hoop and farthingale, with high-heeled shoes, and a dirty cap of Brussels lace, so much too large for her
that it gave her face a ridiculously diminutive expression. When I had first seen her, she was attired, most
becomingly, in deep mourning. There was an air of oddity, in short, about the dress of the whole party,
which, at first, caused me to recur to my original idea of the "soothing system," and to fancy that
Monsieur Maillard had been willing to deceive me until after dinner, that I might experience no
uncomfortable feelings during the repast, at finding myself dining with lunatics; but I remembered having
been informed, in Paris, that the southern provincialists were a peculiarly eccentric people, with a vast
number of antiquated notions; and then, too, upon conversing with several members of the company, my
apprehensions were immediately and fully dispelled.
The dining-room itself, although perhaps sufficiently comfortable and of good dimensions, had nothing too
much of elegance about it. For example, the floor was uncarpeted; in France, however, a carpet is
frequently dispensed with. The windows, too, were without curtains; the shutters, being shut, were
securely fastened with iron bars, applied diagonally, after the fashion of our ordinary shop-shutters. The
apartment, I observed, formed, in itself, a wing of the chateau, and thus the windows were on three sides
of the parallelogram, the door being at the other. There were no less than ten windows in all.
The table was superbly set out. It was loaded with plate, and more than loaded with delicacies. The
profusion was absolutely barbaric. There were meats enough to have feasted the Anakim. Never, in all my
life, had I witnessed so lavish, so wasteful an expenditure of the good things of life. There seemed very
little taste, however, in the arrangements; and my eyes, accustomed to quiet lights, were sadly offended
by the prodigious glare of a multitude of wax candles, which, in silver candelabra, were deposited upon
the table, and all about the room, wherever it was possible to find a place. There were several active
servants in attendance; and, upon a large table, at the farther end of the apartment, were seated seven or
eight people with fiddles, fifes, trombones, and a drum. These fellows annoyed me very much, at
intervals, during the repast, by an infinite variety of noises, which were intended for music, and which
appeared to afford much entertainment to all present, with the exception of myself.
Upon the whole, I could not help thinking that there was much of the bizarre about every thing I saw --
but then the world is made up of all kinds of persons, with all modes of thought, and all sorts of
conventional customs. I had travelled, too, so much, as to be quite an adept at the nil admirari; so I took
my seat very coolly at the right hand of my host, and, having an excellent appetite, did justice to the good
cheer set before me.
The conversation, in the meantime, was spirited and general. The ladies, as usual, talked a great deal. I
soon found that nearly all the company were well educated; and my host was a world of good-humored
anecdote in himself. He seemed quite willing to speak of his position as superintendent of a Maison de
Sante; and, indeed, the topic of lunacy was, much to my surprise, a favorite one with all present. A great
many amusing stories were told, having reference to the whims of the patients.
"We had a fellow here once," said a fat little gentleman, who sat at my right, -- "a fellow that fancied
himself a tea-pot; and by the way, is it not especially singular how often this particular crotchet has
entered the brain of the lunatic? There is scarcely an insane asylum in France which cannot supply a
human tea-pot. Our gentleman was a Britannia -- ware tea-pot, and was careful to polish himself every
morning with buckskin and whiting."
"And then," said a tall man just opposite, "we had here, not long ago, a person who had taken it into his
head that he was a donkey -- which allegorically speaking, you will say, was quite true. He was a
troublesome patient; and we had much ado to keep him within bounds. For a long time he would eat
nothing but thistles; but of this idea we soon cured him by insisting upon his eating nothing else. Then he
was perpetually kicking out his heels-so-so-"
"Mr. De Kock! I will thank you to behave yourself!" here interrupted an old lady, who sat next to the
speaker. "Please keep your feet to yourself! You have spoiled my brocade! Is it necessary, pray, to
illustrate a remark in so practical a style? Our friend here can surely comprehend you without all this.
Upon my word, you are nearly as great a donkey as the poor unfortunate imagined himself. Your acting is
very natural, as I live."
"Mille pardons! Ma'm'selle!" replied Monsieur De Kock, thus addressed -- "a thousand pardons! I had no
intention of offending. Ma'm'selle Laplace -- Monsieur De Kock will do himself the honor of taking wine
with you."
Here Monsieur De Kock bowed low, kissed his hand with much ceremony, and took wine with Ma'm'selle
Laplace.
"Allow me, mon ami," now said Monsieur Maillard, addressing myself, "allow me to send you a morsel of
this veal a la St. Menhoult -- you will find it particularly fine."
At this instant three sturdy waiters had just succeeded in depositing safely upon the table an enormous
dish, or trencher, containing what I supposed to be the "monstrum horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen
ademptum." A closer scrutiny assured me, however, that it was only a small calf roasted whole, and set
upon its knees, with an apple in its mouth, as is the English fashion of dressing a hare.
"Thank you, no," I replied; "to say the truth, I am not particularly partial to veal a la St. -- what is it? -- for
I do not find that it altogether agrees with me. I will change my plate, however, and try some of the
rabbit."
There were several side-dishes on the table, containing what appeared to be the ordinary French rabbit --
a very delicious morceau, which I can recommend.
"Pierre," cried the host, "change this gentleman's plate, and give him a side-piece of this rabbit au-chat."
"Why, thank you -- upon second thoughts, no. I will just help myself to some of the ham."
There is no knowing what one eats, thought I to myself, at the tables of these people of the province. I will
have none of their rabbit au-chat -- and, for the matter of that, none of their cat-au-rabbit either.
"And then," said a cadaverous looking personage, near the foot of the table, taking up the thread of the
conversation where it had been broken off, -- "and then, among other oddities, we had a patient, once
upon a time, who very pertinaciously maintained himself to be a Cordova cheese, and went about, with a
knife in his hand, soliciting his friends to try a small slice from the middle of his leg."
"He was a great fool, beyond doubt," interposed some one, "but not to be compared with a certain
individual whom we all know, with the exception of this strange gentleman. I mean the man who took
himself for a bottle of champagne, and always went off with a pop and a fizz, in this fashion."
Here the speaker, very rudely, as I thought, put his right thumb in his left cheek, withdrew it with a sound
resembling the popping of a cork, and then, by a dexterous movement of the tongue upon the teeth,
created a sharp hissing and fizzing, which lasted for several minutes, in imitation of the frothing of
champagne. This behavior, I saw plainly, was not very pleasing to Monsieur Maillard; but that gentleman
said nothing, and the conversation was resumed by a very lean little man in a big wig.
"And then there was an ignoramus," said he, "who mistook himself for a frog, which, by the way, he
resembled in no little degree. I wish you could have seen him, sir," -- here the speaker addressed myself --
"it would have done your heart good to see the natural airs that he put on. Sir, if that man was not a frog,
I can only observe that it is a pity he was not. His croak thus -- o-o-o-o-gh -- o-o-o-o-gh! was the finest note
in the world -- B flat; and when he put his elbows upon the table thus -- after taking a glass or two of wine
-- and distended his mouth, thus, and rolled up his eyes, thus, and winked them with excessive rapidity,
thus, why then, sir, I take it upon myself to say, positively, that you would have been lost in admiration of
the genius of the man."
"And then," said somebody else, "then there was Petit Gaillard, who thought himself a pinch of snuff, and
was truly distressed because he could not take himself between his own finger and thumb."
"And then there was Jules Desoulieres, who was a very singular genius, indeed, and went mad with the
idea that he was a pumpkin. He persecuted the cook to make him up into pies -- a thing which the cook
indignantly refused to do. For my part, I am by no means sure that a pumpkin pie a la Desoulieres would
not have been very capital eating indeed!"
"You astonish me!" said I; and I looked inquisitively at Monsieur Maillard.
"Ha! ha! ha!" said that gentleman -- "he! he! he! -- hi! hi! hi! -- ho! ho! ho! -- hu! hu! hu! hu! -- very good
indeed! You must not be astonished, mon ami; our friend here is a wit -- a drole -- you must not
understand him to the letter."
"And then," said some other one of the party, -- "then there was Bouffon Le Grand -- another extraordinary
personage in his way. He grew deranged through love, and fancied himself possessed of two heads. One
of these he maintained to be the head of Cicero; the other he imagined a composite one, being
Demosthenes' from the top of the forehead to the mouth, and Lord Brougham's from the mouth to the
chin. It is not impossible that he was wrong; but he would have convinced you of his being in the right; for
he was a man of great eloquence. He had an absolute passion for oratory, and could not refrain from
display. For example, he used to leap upon the dinner-table thus, and -- and-"
Here a friend, at the side of the speaker, put a hand upon his shoulder and whispered a few words in his
ear, upon which he ceased talking with great suddenness, and sank back within his chair.
"And then," said the friend who had whispered, "there was Boullard, the tee-totum. I call him the tee-
totum because, in fact, he was seized with the droll but not altogether irrational crotchet, that he had
been converted into a tee-totum. You would have roared with laughter to see him spin. He would turn
round upon one heel by the hour, in this manner -- so -- "
Here the friend whom he had just interrupted by a whisper, performed an exactly similar office for
himself.
"But then," cried the old lady, at the top of her voice, "your Monsieur Boullard was a madman, and a very
silly madman at best; for who, allow me to ask you, ever heard of a human tee-totum? The thing is absurd.
Madame Joyeuse was a more sensible person, as you know. She had a crotchet, but it was instinct with
common sense, and gave pleasure to all who had the honor of her acquaintance. She found, upon mature
deliberation, that, by some accident, she had been turned into a chicken-cock; but, as such, she behaved
with propriety. She flapped her wings with prodigious effect -- so -- so -- and, as for her crow, it was
delicious! Cock-a-doodle-doo! -- cock-a-doodle-doo! -- cock-a-doodle-de-doo-dooo-do-o-o-o-o-o-o!"
"Madame Joyeuse, I will thank you to behave yourself!" here interrupted our host, very angrily. "You can
either conduct yourself as a lady should do, or you can quit the table forthwith-take your choice."
The lady (whom I was much astonished to hear addressed as Madame Joyeuse, after the description of
Madame Joyeuse she had just given) blushed up to the eyebrows, and seemed exceedingly abashed at the
reproof. She hung down her head, and said not a syllable in reply. But another and younger lady resumed
the theme. It was my beautiful girl of the little parlor.
"Oh, Madame Joyeuse was a fool!" she exclaimed, "but there was really much sound sense, after all, in the
opinion of Eugenie Salsafette. She was a very beautiful and painfully modest young lady, who thought the
ordinary mode of habiliment indecent, and wished to dress herself, always, by getting outside instead of
inside of her clothes. It is a thing very easily done, after all. You have only to do so -- and then so -- so -- so
-- and then so -- so -- so -- and then so -- so -- and then-
"Mon dieu! Ma'm'selle Salsafette!" here cried a dozen voices at once. "What are you about? -- forbear! --
that is sufficient! -- we see, very plainly, how it is done! -- hold! hold!" and several persons were already
leaping from their seats to withhold Ma'm'selle Salsafette from putting herself upon a par with the
Medicean Venus, when the point was very effectually and suddenly accomplished by a series of loud
screams, or yells, from some portion of the main body of the chateau.
My nerves were very much affected, indeed, by these yells; but the rest of the company I really pitied. I
never saw any set of reasonable people so thoroughly frightened in my life. They all grew as pale as so
many corpses, and, shrinking within their seats, sat quivering and gibbering with terror, and listening for
a repetition of the sound. It came again -- louder and seemingly nearer -- and then a third time very loud,
and then a fourth time with a vigor evidently diminished. At this apparent dying away of the noise, the
spirits of the company were immediately regained, and all was life and anecdote as before. I now
ventured to inquire the cause of the disturbance.
"A mere bagtelle," said Monsieur Maillard. "We are used to these things, and care really very little about
them. The lunatics, every now and then, get up a howl in concert; one starting another, as is sometimes
the case with a bevy of dogs at night. It occasionally happens, however, that the concerto yells are
succeeded by a simultaneous effort at breaking loose, when, of course, some little danger is to be
apprehended."
"Oh, no -- every one of them men, and stout fellows, too, I can tell you."
"Indeed! I have always understood that the majority of lunatics were of the gentler sex."
"It is generally so, but not always. Some time ago, there were about twenty-seven patients here; and, of
that number, no less than eighteen were women; but, lately, matters have changed very much, as you
see."
"Yes -- have changed very much, as you see," here interrupted the gentleman who had broken the shins of
Ma'm'selle Laplace.
"Yes -- have changed very much, as you see!" chimed in the whole company at once.
"Hold your tongues, every one of you!" said my host, in a great rage. Whereupon the whole company
maintained a dead silence for nearly a minute. As for one lady, she obeyed Monsieur Maillard to the letter,
and thrusting out her tongue, which was an excessively long one, held it very resignedly, with both hands,
until the end of the entertainment.
"And this gentlewoman," said I, to Monsieur Maillard, bending over and addressing him in a whisper --
"this good lady who has just spoken, and who gives us the cock-a-doodle-de-doo -- she, I presume, is
harmless -- quite harmless, eh?"
"Harmless!" ejaculated he, in unfeigned surprise, "why -- why, what can you mean?"
"Only slightly touched?" said I, touching my head. "I take it for granted that she is not particularly not
dangerously affected, eh?"
"Mon dieu! what is it you imagine? This lady, my particular old friend Madame Joyeuse, is as absolutely
sane as myself. She has her little eccentricities, to be sure -- but then, you know, all old women -- all very
old women -- are more or less eccentric!"
"To be sure," said I, -- "to be sure -- and then the rest of these ladies and gentlemen-"
"Are my friends and keepers," interupted Monsieur Maillard, drawing himself up with hauteur, -- "my very
good friends and assistants."
"Assuredly," he said, -- "we could not do at all without the women; they are the best lunatic nurses in the
world; they have a way of their own, you know; their bright eyes have a marvellous effect; -- something
like the fascination of the snake, you know."
"To be sure," said I, -- "to be sure! They behave a little odd, eh? -- they are a little queer, eh? -- don't you
think so?"
"Odd! -- queer! -- why, do you really think so? We are not very prudish, to be sure, here in the South -- do
pretty much as we please -- enjoy life, and all that sort of thing, you know-"
And then, perhaps, this Clos de Vougeot is a little heady, you know -- a little strong -- you understand, eh?"
"To be sure," said I, -- "to be sure. By the bye, Monsieur, did I understand you to say that the system you
have adopted, in place of the celebrated soothing system, was one of very rigorous severity?"
"By no means. Our confinement is necessarily close; but the treatment -- the medical treatment, I mean --
is rather agreeable to the patients than otherwise."
"Not altogether. Some portions of it are referable to Professor Tarr, of whom you have, necessarily, heard;
and, again, there are modifications in my plan which I am happy to acknowledge as belonging of right to
the celebrated Fether, with whom, if I mistake not, you have the honor of an intimate acquaintance."
"I am quite ashamed to confess," I replied, "that I have never even heard the names of either gentleman
before."
"Good heavens!" ejaculated my host, drawing back his chair abruptly, and uplifting his hands. "I surely do
not hear you aright! You did not intend to say, eh? that you had never heard either of the learned Doctor
Tarr, or of the celebrated Professor Fether?"
"I am forced to acknowledge my ignorance," I replied; "but the truth should be held inviolate above all
things. Nevertheless, I feel humbled to the dust, not to be acquainted with the works of these, no doubt,
extraordinary men. I will seek out their writings forthwith, and peruse them with deliberate care.
Monsieur Maillard, you have really -- I must confess it -- you have really -- made me ashamed of myself!"
"Say no more, my good young friend," he said kindly, pressing my hand, -- "join me now in a glass of
Sauterne."
We drank. The company followed our example without stint. They chatted -- they jested -- they laughed --
they perpetrated a thousand absurdities -- the fiddles shrieked -- the drum row-de-dowed -- the trombones
bellowed like so many brazen bulls of Phalaris -- and the whole scene, growing gradually worse and
worse, as the wines gained the ascendancy, became at length a sort of pandemonium in petto. In the
meantime, Monsieur Maillard and myself, with some bottles of Sauterne and Vougeot between us,
continued our conversation at the top of the voice. A word spoken in an ordinary key stood no more
chance of being heard than the voice of a fish from the bottom of Niagra Falls.
"And, sir," said I, screaming in his ear, "you mentioned something before dinner about the danger
incurred in the old system of soothing. How is that?"
"Yes," he replied, "there was, occasionally, very great danger indeed. There is no accounting for the
caprices of madmen; and, in my opinion as well as in that of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether, it is never safe
to permit them to run at large unattended. A lunatic may be 'soothed,' as it is called, for a time, but, in the
end, he is very apt to become obstreperous. His cunning, too, is proverbial and great. If he has a project
in view, he conceals his design with a marvellous wisdom; and the dexterity with which he counterfeits
sanity, presents, to the metaphysician, one of the most singular problems in the study of mind. When a
madman appears thoroughly sane, indeed, it is high time to put him in a straitjacket."
"But the danger, my dear sir, of which you were speaking, in your own experience -- during your control of
this house -- have you had practical reason to think liberty hazardous in the case of a lunatic?"
"Here? -- in my own experience? -- why, I may say, yes. For example: -- no very long while ago, a singular
circumstance occurred in this very house. The 'soothing system,' you know, was then in operation, and the
patients were at large. They behaved remarkably well-especially so, any one of sense might have known
that some devilish scheme was brewing from that particular fact, that the fellows behaved so remarkably
well. And, sure enough, one fine morning the keepers found themselves pinioned hand and foot, and
thrown into the cells, where they were attended, as if they were the lunatics, by the lunatics themselves,
who had usurped the offices of the keepers."
"You don't tell me so! I never heard of any thing so absurd in my life!"
"Fact -- it all came to pass by means of a stupid fellow -- a lunatic -- who, by some means, had taken it into
his head that he had invented a better system of government than any ever heard of before -- of lunatic
government, I mean. He wished to give his invention a trial, I suppose, and so he persuaded the rest of
the patients to join him in a conspiracy for the overthrow of the reigning powers."
"No doubt of it. The keepers and kept were soon made to exchange places. Not that exactly either -- for
the madmen had been free, but the keepers were shut up in cells forthwith, and treated, I am sorry to say,
in a very cavalier manner."
"But I presume a counter-revolution was soon effected. This condition of things could not have long
existed. The country people in the neighborhood-visitors coming to see the establishment -- would have
given the alarm."
"There you are out. The head rebel was too cunning for that. He admitted no visitors at all -- with the
exception, one day, of a very stupid-looking young gentleman of whom he had no reason to be afraid. He
let him in to see the place -- just by way of variety, -- to have a little fun with him. As soon as he had
gammoned him sufficiently, he let him out, and sent him about his business."
"Oh, a very long time, indeed -- a month certainly -- how much longer I can't precisely say. In the
meantime, the lunatics had a jolly season of it -- that you may swear. They doffed their own shabby
clothes, and made free with the family wardrobe and jewels. The cellars of the chateau were well stocked
with wine; and these madmen are just the devils that know how to drink it. They lived well, I can tell you."
"And the treatment -- what was the particular species of treatment which the leader of the rebels put into
operation?"
"Why, as for that, a madman is not necessarily a fool, as I have already observed; and it is my honest
opinion that his treatment was a much better treatment than that which it superseded. It was a very
capital system indeed -- simple -- neat -- no trouble at all -- in fact it was delicious it was."
Here my host's observations were cut short by another series of yells, of the same character as those
which had previously disconcerted us. This time, however, they seemed to proceed from persons rapidly
approaching.
"Gracious heavens!" I ejaculated -- "the lunatics have most undoubtedly broken loose."
"I very much fear it is so," replied Monsieur Maillard, now becoming excessively pale. He had scarcely
finished the sentence, before loud shouts and imprecations were heard beneath the windows; and,
immediately afterward, it became evident that some persons outside were endeavoring to gain entrance
into the room. The door was beaten with what appeared to be a sledge-hammer, and the shutters were
wrenched and shaken with prodigious violence.
A scene of the most terrible confusion ensued. Monsieur Maillard, to my excessive astonishment threw
himself under the side-board. I had expected more resolution at his hands. The members of the orchestra,
who, for the last fifteen minutes, had been seemingly too much intoxicated to do duty, now sprang all at
once to their feet and to their instruments, and, scrambling upon their table, broke out, with one accord,
into, "Yankee Doodle," which they performed, if not exactly in tune, at least with an energy superhuman,
during the whole of the uproar.
Meantime, upon the main dining-table, among the bottles and glasses, leaped the gentleman who, with
such difficulty, had been restrained from leaping there before. As soon as he fairly settled himself, he
commenced an oration, which, no doubt, was a very capital one, if it could only have been heard. At the
same moment, the man with the teetotum predilection, set himself to spinning around the apartment,
with immense energy, and with arms outstretched at right angles with his body; so that he had all the air
of a tee-totum in fact, and knocked everybody down that happened to get in his way. And now, too,
hearing an incredible popping and fizzing of champagne, I discovered at length, that it proceeded from
the person who performed the bottle of that delicate drink during dinner. And then, again, the frog-man
croaked away as if the salvation of his soul depended upon every note that he uttered. And, in the midst
of all this, the continuous braying of a donkey arose over all. As for my old friend, Madame Joyeuse, I
really could have wept for the poor lady, she appeared so terribly perplexed. All she did, however, was to
stand up in a corner, by the fireplace, and sing out incessantly at the top of her voice, "Cock-a-doodle-de-
dooooooh!"
And now came the climax -- the catastrophe of the drama. As no resistance, beyond whooping and yelling
and cock-a-doodling, was offered to the encroachments of the party without, the ten windows were very
speedily, and almost simultaneously, broken in. But I shall never forget the emotions of wonder and horror
with which I gazed, when, leaping through these windows, and down among us pele-mele, fighting,
stamping, scratching, and howling, there rushed a perfect army of what I took to be Chimpanzees,
Ourang-Outangs, or big black baboons of the Cape of Good Hope.
I received a terrible beating -- after which I rolled under a sofa and lay still. After lying there some fifteen
minutes, during which time I listened with all my ears to what was going on in the room, I came to same
satisfactory denouement of this tragedy. Monsieur Maillard, it appeared, in giving me the account of the
lunatic who had excited his fellows to rebellion, had been merely relating his own exploits. This
gentleman had, indeed, some two or three years before, been the superintendent of the establishment,
but grew crazy himself, and so became a patient. This fact was unknown to the travelling companion who
introduced me. The keepers, ten in number, having been suddenly overpowered, were first well tarred,
then -- carefully feathered, and then shut up in underground cells. They had been so imprisoned for more
than a month, during which period Monsieur Maillard had generously allowed them not only the tar and
feathers (which constituted his "system"), but some bread and abundance of water. The latter was
pumped on them daily. At length, one escaping through a sewer, gave freedom to all the rest.
The "soothing system," with important modifications, has been resumed at the chateau; yet I cannot help
agreeing with Monsieur Maillard, that his own "treatment" was a very capital one of its kind. As he justly
observed, it was "simple -- neat -- and gave no trouble at all -- not the least."
I have only to add that, although I have searched every library in Europe for the works of Doctor Tarr and
Professor Fether, I have, up to the present day, utterly failed in my endeavors at procuring an edition.
A TALE OF JERUSALEM
Passus erat----
-Lucan--De Catone
Translation
LET us hurry to the walls," said Abel-Phittim to Buzi-Ben-Levi and Simeon the Pharisee, on the tenth day
of the month Thammuz, in the year of the world three thousand nine hundred and fortyone--let us hasten
to the ramparts adjoining the gate of Benjamin, which is in the city of David, and overlooking the camp of
the uncircumcised; for it is the last hour of the fourth watch, being sunrise; and the idolaters, in fulfilment
of the promise of Pompey, should be awaiting us with the lambs for the sacrifices."
Simeon, Abel-Phittim, and Duzi-Ben-Levi were the Gizbarim, or sub-collectors of the offering, in the holy
city of Jerusalem.
"Verily," replied the Pharisee; "let us hasten: for this generosity in the heathen is unwonted; and fickle-
mindedness has ever been an attribute of the worshippers of Baal."
"'That they are fickle-minded and treacherous is as true as the Pentateuch," said Buzi-Ben-Levi, "but that
is only toward the people of Adonai. When was it ever known that the Ammonites proved wanting to their
own interests? Methinks it is no great stretch of generosity to allow us lambs for the altar of the Lord,
receiving in lieu thereof thirty silver shekels per head !"
"Thou forgettest, however, Ben-Levi," replied Abel-Phittim, "that the Roman Pompey, who is now
impiously besieging the city of the Most High, has no assurity that we apply not the lambs thus purchased
for the altar, to the sustenance of the body, rather than of the spirit."
"Now, by the five corners of my beard!" shouted the Pharisee, who belonged to the sect called The
Dashers (that little knot of saints whose manner of dashing and lacerating the feet against the pavement
was long a thorn and a reproach to less zealous devotees-a stumbling-block to less gifted perambulators)--
"by the five corners of that beard which, as a priest, I am forbidden to shave !-have we lived to see the
day when a blaspheming and idolatrous upstart of Rome shall accuse us of appropriating to the appetites
of the flesh the most holy and consecrated elements? Have we lived to see the day when---"'
"Let us not question the motives of the Philistine," interrupted Abel-Phittim' "for to-day we profit for the
first time by his avarice or by his generosity; but rather let us hurry to the ramparts, lest offerings should
be wanting for that altar whose fire the rains of heaven can not extinguish, and whose pillars of smoke no
tempest can turn aside."
That part of the city to which our worthy Gizbarim now hastened, and which bore the name of its
architect, King David, was esteemed the most strongly fortified district of Jerusalem; being situated upon
the steep and lofty hill of Zion. Here, a broad, deep, circumvallatory trench, hewn from the solid rock,
was defended by a wall of great strength erected upon its inner edge. This wall was adorned, at regular
interspaces, by square towers of white marble; the lowest sixty, and the highest one hundred and twenty
cubits- in height. But, in the vicinity of the gate of Benjamin, the wall arose by no means from the margin
of the fosse. On the contrary, between the level of the ditch and the basement of the rampart sprang up a
perpendicular cliff of two hundred and fifty cubits, forming part of the precipitous Mount Moriah. So that
when Simeon and his associates arrived on the summit of the tower called Adoni-Bezek-the loftiest of all
the turrets around about Jerusalem, and the usual place of conference with the besieging army-they
looked down upon the camp of the enemy from an eminence excelling by many feet that of the Pyramid of
Cheops, and, by several, that of the temple of Belus.
"Verily," sighed the Pharisee, as he peered dizzily over the precipice, "the uncircumcised are as the sands
by the seashore-as the locusts in the wilderness! The valley of the King hath become the valley of
Adommin."
"And yet," added Ben-Levi, "thou canst not point me out a Philistine-no, not one-from Aleph to Tau-from
the wilderness to the battlements---who seemeth any bigger than the letter Jod!"
"Lower away the basket with the shekels of silver!" here shouted a Roman soldier in a hoarse, rough
voice, which appeared to issue from the regions of Pluto---"lower away the basket with the accursed coin
which it has broken the jaw of a noble Roman to pronounce! Is it thus you evince your gratitude to our
master Pompeius, who, in his condescension, has thought fit to listen to your idolatrous importunities?
The god Phoebus, who is a true god, has been charioted for an hour-and were you not to be on the
ramparts by sunrise? Aedepol! do you think that we, the conquerors of the world, have nothing better to
do than stand waiting by the walls of every kennel, to traffic with the dogs of the earth? Lower away! I
say--and see that your trumpery be bright in color and just in weight!"
"El Elohim!" ejaculated the Pharisee, as the discordant tones of the centurion rattled up the crags of the
precipice, and fainted away against the temple -"El Elohim!--who is the god Phoebus?--whom doth the
blasphemer invoke? Thou, Buzi-BenLevi! who art read in the laws of the Gentiles, and hast sojourned
among them who dabble with the Teraphim!--is it Nergal of whom the idolater speaketh?----or Ashimah?--
or Nibhaz,--or Tartak? --or Adramalech?--or Anamalech?--or Succoth-Benith?---or Dagon?---or Belial?---or
Baal-Perith? -or Baal-Peor?---or Baal-Zebub?"
"Verily it is neither-but beware how thou lettest the rope slip too rapidly through thy fingers; for should
the wicker-work chance to hang on the projection of Yonder crag, there will be a woful outpouring of the
holy things of the sanctuary."
By the assistance of some rudely constructed machinery, the heavily laden basket was now carefully
lowered down among the multitude; and, from the giddy pinnacle, the Romans were seen gathering
confusedly round it; but owing to the vast height and the prevalence of a fog, no distinct view of their
operations could be obtained.
"We shall be too late!" sighed the Pharisee, as at the expiration of this period he looked over into the
abyss-"we shall be too late! we shall be turned out of office by the Katholim."
"No more," responded Abel-Phittim----"no more shall we feast upon the fat of the land-no longer shall our
beards be odorous with frankincense--our loins girded up with fine linen from the Temple."
"Racal" swore Ben-Levi, "Racal do they mean to defraud us of the purchase money? or, Holy Moses ! are
they weighing the shekels of the tabernacle ?"
"They have given the signal at last!" cried the Pharisee-----"they have given the signal at last!pull away,
Abel-Phittim!-and thou, Buzi-Ben-Levi, pull away!-for verily the Philistines have either still hold upon the
basket, or the Lord hath softened their hearts to place therein a beast of good weight!" And the Gizbarim
pulled away, while their burden swung heavily upward through the still increasing mist.
"Booshoh he!"-as, at the conclusion of an hour, some object at the extremity of the rope became
indistinctly visible-"Booshoh he!" was the exclamation which burst from the lips of Ben-Levi.
. . . . . . . . . .
"Booshoh he!--for shame!-it is a ram from the thickets of Engedi, and as rugged as the valley of
jehosaphat!"
"It is a firstling of the flock," said Abel-Phittim, "I know him by the bleating of his lips, and the innocent
folding of his limbs. His eyes are more beautiful than the jewels of the Pectoral, and his flesh is like the
honey of Hebron."
"It is a fatted calf from the pastures of Bashan," said the Pharisee, "the heathen have dealt wonderfully
with us ----let us raise up our voices in a psalm --let us give thanks on the shawm and on the psaltery-on
the harp and on the huggab-on the cythern and on the sackbut!"
It was not until the basket had arrived within a few feet of the Gizbarim that a low grunt betrayed to their
perception a hog of no common size.
"Now El Emanu!" slowly and with upturned eyes ejaculated the trio, as, letting go their hold, the
emancipated porker tumbled headlong among the Philistines, "El Emanu!-God be with us---it is the
unutterable flesh!"
A TALE OF THE RAGGED MOUNTAINS
DURING the fall of the year 1827, while residing near Charlottesville, Virginia, I casually made the
acquaintance of Mr. Augustus Bedloe. This young gentleman was remarkable in every respect, and
excited in me a profound interest and curiosity. I found it impossible to comprehend him either in his
moral or his physical relations. Of his family I could o btain no satisfactory account. Whence he came, I
never ascertained. Even about his age -- although I call him a young gentleman -- there was something
which perplexed me in no little degree. He certainly seemed young -- and he made a point of speaking
about his youth -- yet there were moments when I should have had little trouble in imagining him a
hundred years of age. But in no regard was he more peculiar than in his personal appearance. He was
singularly tall and thin. He stooped much. His limbs were exceedingly long and emaciated. His forehead
was broad and low. His complexion was absolutely bloodless. His mouth was large and flexible, and his
teeth were more wildly uneven, although sound, than I had ever before seen teeth in a human head. The
expression of his smile, however, was by no means unpleasing, as might be supposed; but it had no
variation whatever. It was one of profound melancholy -- of a phaseless and unceasing gloom. His eyes
were abnormally large, and round like those of a cat. The pupils, too, upon any accession or diminution of
light, underwent contraction or dilation, just such as is observed in the feline tribe. In moments of
excitement the orbs grew bright to a degree almost inconceivable; seeming to emit luminous rays, not of
a reflected but of an intrinsic lustre, as does a candle or the sun; yet their ordinary condition was so
totally vapid, filmy, and dull as to convey the idea of the eyes of a long-interred corpse.
These peculiarities of person appeared to cause him much annoyance, and he was continually alluding to
them in a sort of half explanatory, half apologetic strain, which, when I first heard it, impressed me very
painfully. I soon, however, grew accustomed to it, and my uneasiness wore off. It seemed to be his design
rather to insinuate than directly to assert that, physically, he had not always been what he was -- that a
long series of neuralgic attacks had reduced him from a condition of more than usual personal beauty, to
that which I saw. For many years past he had been attended by a physician, named Templeton -- an old
gentleman, perhaps seventy years of age -- whom he had first encountered at Saratoga, and from whose
attention, while there, he either received, or fancied that he received, great benefit. The result was that
Bedloe, who was wealthy, had made an arrangement with Dr. Templeton, by which the latter, in
consideration of a liberal annual allowance, had consented to devote his time and medical experience
exclusively to the care of the invalid.
Doctor Templeton had been a traveller in his younger days, and at Paris had become a convert, in great
measure, to the doctrines of Mesmer. It was altogether by means of magnetic remedies that he had
succeeded in alleviating the acute pains of his patient; and this success had very naturally inspired the
latter with a certain degree of confidence in the opinions from which the remedies had been educed. The
Doctor, however, like all enthusiasts, had struggled hard to make a thorough convert of his pupil, and
finally so far gained his point as to induce the sufferer to submit to numerous experiments. By a frequent
repetition of these, a result had arisen, which of late days has become so common as to attract little or no
attention, but which, at the period of which I write, had very rarely been known in America. I mean to say,
that between Doctor Templeton and Bedloe there had grown up, little by little, a very distinct and
strongly marked rapport, or magnetic relation. I am not prepared to assert, however, that this rapport
extended beyond the limits of the simple sleep-producing power, but this power itself had attained great
intensity. At the first attempt to induce the magnetic somnolency, the mesmerist entirely failed. In the
fifth or sixth he succeeded very partially, and after long continued effort. Only at the twelfth was the
triumph complete. After this the will of the patient succumbed rapidly to that of the physician, so that,
when I first became acquainted with the two, sleep was brought about almost instantaneously by the
mere volition of the operator, even when the invalid was unaware of his presence. It is only now, in the
year 1845, when similar miracles are witnessed daily by thousands, that I dare venture to record this
apparent impossibility as a matter of serious fact.
The temperature of Bedloe was, in the highest degree sensitive, excitable, enthusiastic. His imagination
was singularly vigorous and creative; and no doubt it derived additional force from the habitual use of
morphine, which he swallowed in great quantity, and without which he would have found it impossible to
exist. It was his practice to take a very large dose of it immediately after breakfast each morning -- or,
rather, immediately after a cup of strong coffee, for he ate nothing in the forenoon -- and then set forth
alone, or attended only by a dog, upon a long ramble among the chain of wild and dreary hills that lie
westward and southward of Charlottesville, and are there dignified by the title of the Ragged Mountains.
Upon a dim, warm, misty day, toward the close of November, and during the strange interregnum of the
seasons which in America is termed the Indian Summer, Mr. Bedloe departed as usual for the hills. The
day passed, and still he did not return.
About eight o'clock at night, having become seriously alarmed at his protracted absence, we were about
setting out in search of him, when he unexpectedly made his appearance, in health no worse than usual,
and in rather more than ordinary spirits. The account which he gave of his expedition, and of the events
which had detained him, was a singular one indeed.
"You will remember," said he, "that it was about nine in the morning when I left Charlottesville. I bent my
steps immediately to the mountains, and, about ten, entered a gorge which was entirely new to me. I
followed the windings of this pass with much interest. The scenery which presented itself on all sides,
although scarcely entitled to be called grand, had about it an indescribable and to me a delicious aspect
of dreary desolation. The solitude seemed absolutely virgin. I could not help believing that the green sods
and the gray rocks upon which I trod had been trodden never before by the foot of a human being. So
entirely secluded, and in fact inaccessible, except through a series of accidents, is the entrance of the
ravine, that it is by no means impossible that I was indeed the first adventurer -- the very first and sole
adventurer who had ever penetrated its recesses.
"The thick and peculiar mist, or smoke, which distinguishes the Indian Summer, and which now hung
heavily over all objects, served, no doubt, to deepen the vague impressions which these objects created.
So dense was this pleasant fog that I could at no time see more than a dozen yards of the path before me.
This path was excessively sinuous, and as the sun could not be seen, I soon lost all idea of the direction in
which I journeyed. In the meantime the morphine had its customary effect -- that of enduing all the
external world with an intensity of interest. In the quivering of a leaf -- in the hue of a blade of grass -- in
the shape of a trefoil -- in the humming of a bee -- in the gleaming of a dew-drop -- in the breathing of the
wind -- in the faint odors that came from the forest -- there came a whole universe of suggestion -- a gay
and motley train of rhapsodical and immethodical thought.
"Busied in this, I walked on for several hours, during which the mist deepened around me to so great an
extent that at length I was reduced to an absolute groping of the way. And now an indescribable
uneasiness possessed me -- a species of nervous hesitation and tremor. I feared to tread, lest I should be
precipitated into some abyss. I remembered, too, strange stories told about these Ragged Hills, and of the
uncouth and fierce races of men who tenanted their groves and caverns. A thousand vague fancies
oppressed and disconcerted me- fancies the more distressing because vague. Very suddenly my attention
was arrested by the loud beating of a drum.
"My amazement was, of course, extreme. A drum in these hills was a thing unknown. I could not have
been more surprised at the sound of the trump of the Archangel. But a new and still more astounding
source of interest and perplexity arose. There came a wild rattling or jingling sound, as if of a bunch of
large keys, and upon the instant a dusky-visaged and half-naked man rushed past me with a shriek. He
came so close to my person that I felt his hot breath upon my face. He bore in one hand an instrument
composed of an assemblage of steel rings, and shook them vigorously as he ran. Scarcely had he
disappeared in the mist before, panting after him, with open mouth and glaring eyes, there darted a huge
beast. I could not be mistaken in its character. It was a hyena.
"The sight of this monster rather relieved than heightened my terrors -- for I now made sure that I
dreamed, and endeavored to arouse myself to waking consciousness. I stepped boldly and briskly
forward. I rubbed my eyes. I called aloud. I pinched my limbs. A small spring of water presented itself to
my view, and here, stooping, I bathed my hands and my head and neck. This seemed to dissipate the
equivocal sensations which had hitherto annoyed me. I arose, as I thought, a new man, and proceeded
steadily and complacently on my unknown way.
"At length, quite overcome by exertion, and by a certain oppressive closeness of the atmosphere, I seated
myself beneath a tree. Presently there came a feeble gleam of sunshine, and the shadow of the leaves of
the tree fell faintly but definitely upon the grass. At this shadow I gazed wonderingly for many minutes.
Its character stupefied me with astonishment. I looked upward. The tree was a palm.
"I now arose hurriedly, and in a state of fearful agitation -- for the fancy that I dreamed would serve me no
longer. I saw -- I felt that I had perfect command of my senses -- and these senses now brought to my soul
a world of novel and singular sensation. The heat became all at once intolerable. A strange odor loaded
the breeze. A low, continuous murmur, like that arising from a full, but gently flowing river, came to my
ears, intermingled with the peculiar hum of multitudinous human voices.
"While I listened in an extremity of astonishment which I need not attempt to describe, a strong and brief
gust of wind bore off the incumbent fog as if by the wand of an enchanter.
"I found myself at the foot of a high mountain, and looking down into a vast plain, through which wound a
majestic river. On the margin of this river stood an Eastern-looking city, such as we read of in the Arabian
Tales, but of a character even more singular than any there described. From my position, which was far
above the level of the town, I could perceive its every nook and corner, as if delineated on a map. The
streets seemed innumerable, and crossed each other irregularly in all directions, but were rather long
winding alleys than streets, and absolutely swarmed with inhabitants. The houses were wildly
picturesque. On every hand was a wilderness of balconies, of verandas, of minarets, of shrines, and
fantastically carved oriels. Bazaars abounded; and in these were displayed rich wares in infinite variety
and profusion -- silks, muslins, the most dazzling cutlery, the most magnificent jewels and gems. Besides
these things, were seen, on all sides, banners and palanquins, litters with stately dames close veiled,
elephants gorgeously caparisoned, idols grotesquely hewn, drums, banners, and gongs, spears, silver and
gilded maces. And amid the crowd, and the clamor, and the general intricacy and confusion- amid the
million of black and yellow men, turbaned and robed, and of flowing beard, there roamed a countless
multitude of holy filleted bulls, while vast legions of the filthy but sacred ape clambered, chattering and
shrieking, about the cornices of the mosques, or clung to the minarets and oriels. From the swarming
streets to the banks of the river, there descended innumerable flights of steps leading to bathing places,
while the river itself seemed to force a passage with difficulty through the vast fleets of deeply --
burthened ships that far and wide encountered its surface. Beyond the limits of the city arose, in frequent
majestic groups, the palm and the cocoa, with other gigantic and weird trees of vast age, and here and
there might be seen a field of rice, the thatched hut of a peasant, a tank, a stray temple, a gypsy camp, or
a solitary graceful maiden taking her way, with a pitcher upon her head, to the banks of the magnificent
river.
"You will say now, of course, that I dreamed; but not so. What I saw -- what I heard -- what I felt -- what I
thought -- had about it nothing of the unmistakable idiosyncrasy of the dream. All was rigorously self-
consistent. At first, doubting that I was really awake, I entered into a series of tests, which soon
convinced me that I really was. Now, when one dreams, and, in the dream, suspects that he dreams, the
suspicion never fails to confirm itself, and the sleeper is almost immediately aroused. Thus Novalis errs
not in saying that 'we are near waking when we dream that we dream.' Had the vision occurred to me as I
describe it, without my suspecting it as a dream, then a dream it might absolutely have been, but,
occurring as it did, and suspected and tested as it was, I am forced to class it among other phenomena."
"In this I am not sure that you are wrong," observed Dr. Templeton, "but proceed. You arose and
descended into the city."
"I arose," continued Bedloe, regarding the Doctor with an air of profound astonishment "I arose, as you
say, and descended into the city. On my way I fell in with an immense populace, crowding through every
avenue, all in the same direction, and exhibiting in every action the wildest excitement. Very suddenly,
and by some inconceivable impulse, I became intensely imbued with personal interest in what was going
on. I seemed to feel that I had an important part to play, without exactly understanding what it was.
Against the crowd which environed me, however, I experienced a deep sentiment of animosity. I shrank
from amid them, and, swiftly, by a circuitous path, reached and entered the city. Here all was the wildest
tumult and contention. A small party of men, clad in garments half-Indian, half-European, and officered by
gentlemen in a uniform partly British, were engaged, at great odds, with the swarming rabble of the
alleys. I joined the weaker party, arming myself with the weapons of a fallen officer, and fighting I knew
not whom with the nervous ferocity of despair. We were soon overpowered by numbers, and driven to
seek refuge in a species of kiosk. Here we barricaded ourselves, and, for the present were secure. From a
loop-hole near the summit of the kiosk, I perceived a vast crowd, in furious agitation, surrounding and
assaulting a gay palace that overhung the river. Presently, from an upper window of this place, there
descended an effeminate-looking person, by means of a string made of the turbans of his attendants. A
boat was at hand, in which he escaped to the opposite bank of the river.
"And now a new object took possession of my soul. I spoke a few hurried but energetic words to my
companions, and, having succeeded in gaining over a few of them to my purpose made a frantic sally from
the kiosk. We rushed amid the crowd that surrounded it. They retreated, at first, before us. They rallied,
fought madly, and retreated again. In the mean time we were borne far from the kiosk, and became
bewildered and entangled among the narrow streets of tall, overhanging houses, into the recesses of
which the sun had never been able to shine. The rabble pressed impetuously upon us, harrassing us with
their spears, and overwhelming us with flights of arrows. These latter were very remarkable, and
resembled in some respects the writhing creese of the Malay. They were made to imitate the body of a
creeping serpent, and were long and black, with a poisoned barb. One of them struck me upon the right
temple. I reeled and fell. An instantaneous and dreadful sickness seized me. I struggled -- I gasped -- I
died." "You will hardly persist now," said I smiling, "that the whole of your adventure was not a dream.
You are not prepared to maintain that you are dead?"
When I said these words, I of course expected some lively sally from Bedloe in reply, but, to my
astonishment, he hesitated, trembled, became fearfully pallid, and remained silent. I looked toward
Templeton. He sat erect and rigid in his chair -- his teeth chattered, and his eyes were starting from their
sockets. "Proceed!" he at length said hoarsely to Bedloe.
"For many minutes," continued the latter, "my sole sentiment -- my sole feeling -- was that of darkness and
nonentity, with the consciousness of death. At length there seemed to pass a violent and sudden shock
through my soul, as if of electricity. With it came the sense of elasticity and of light. This latter I felt -- not
saw. In an instant I seemed to rise from the ground. But I had no bodily, no visible, audible, or palpable
presence. The crowd had departed. The tumult had ceased. The city was in comparative repose. Beneath
me lay my corpse, with the arrow in my temple, the whole head greatly swollen and disfigured. But all
these things I felt -- not saw. I took interest in nothing. Even the corpse seemed a matter in which I had no
concern. Volition I had none, but appeared to be impelled into motion, and flitted buoyantly out of the city,
retracing the circuitous path by which I had entered it. When I had attained that point of the ravine in the
mountains at which I had encountered the hyena, I again experienced a shock as of a galvanic battery, the
sense of weight, of volition, of substance, returned. I became my original self, and bent my steps eagerly
homeward -- but the past had not lost the vividness of the real -- and not now, even for an instant, can I
compel my understanding to regard it as a dream."
"Nor was it," said Templeton, with an air of deep solemnity, "yet it would be difficult to say how otherwise
it should be termed. Let us suppose only, that the soul of the man of to-day is upon the verge of some
stupendous psychal discoveries. Let us content ourselves with this supposition. For the rest I have some
explanation to make. Here is a watercolor drawing, which I should have shown you before, but which an
unaccountable sentiment of horror has hitherto prevented me from showing."
We looked at the picture which he presented. I saw nothing in it of an extraordinary character, but its
effect upon Bedloe was prodigious. He nearly fainted as he gazed. And yet it was but a miniature portrait
-- a miraculously accurate one, to be sure -- of his own very remarkable features. At least this was my
thought as I regarded it.
"You will perceive," said Templeton, "the date of this picture -- it is here, scarcely visible, in this corner --
1780. In this year was the portrait taken. It is the likeness of a dead friend -- a Mr. Oldeb -- to whom I
became much attached at Calcutta, during the administration of Warren Hastings. I was then only twenty
years old. When I first saw you, Mr. Bedloe, at Saratoga, it was the miraculous similarity which existed
between yourself and the painting which induced me to accost you, to seek your friendship, and to bring
about those arrangements which resulted in my becoming your constant companion. In accomplishing
this point, I was urged partly, and perhaps principally, by a regretful memory of the deceased, but also, in
part, by an uneasy, and not altogether horrorless curiosity respecting yourself.
"In your detail of the vision which presented itself to you amid the hills, you have described, with the
minutest accuracy, the Indian city of Benares, upon the Holy River. The riots, the combat, the massacre,
were the actual events of the insurrection of Cheyte Sing, which took place in 1780, when Hastings was
put in imminent peril of his life. The man escaping by the string of turbans was Cheyte Sing himself. The
party in the kiosk were sepoys and British officers, headed by Hastings. Of this party I was one, and did
all I could to prevent the rash and fatal sally of the officer who fell, in the crowded alleys, by the poisoned
arrow of a Bengalee. That officer was my dearest friend. It was Oldeb. You will perceive by these
manuscripts," (here the speaker produced a note-book in which several pages appeared to have been
freshly written,) "that at the very period in which you fancied these things amid the hills, I was engaged
in detailing them upon paper here at home."
In about a week after this conversation, the following paragraphs appeared in a Charlottesville paper:
"We have the painful duty of announcing the death of Mr. Augustus Bedlo, a gentleman whose amiable
manners and many virtues have long endeared him to the citizens of Charlottesville.
"Mr. B., for some years past, has been subject to neuralgia, which has often threatened to terminate
fatally; but this can be regarded only as the mediate cause of his decease. The proximate cause was one
of especial singularity. In an excursion to the Ragged Mountains, a few days since, a slight cold and fever
were contracted, attended with great determination of blood to the head. To relieve this, Dr. Templeton
resorted to topical bleeding. Leeches were applied to the temples. In a fearfully brief period the patient
died, when it appeared that in the jar containing the leeches, had been introduced, by accident, one of the
venomous vermicular sangsues which are now and then found in the neighboring ponds. This creature
fastened itself upon a small artery in the right temple. Its close resemblance to the medicinal leech
caused the mistake to be overlooked until too late.
"N. B. The poisonous sangsue of Charlottesville may always be distinguished from the medicinal leech by
its blackness, and especially by its writhing or vermicular motions, which very nearly resemble those of a
snake."
I was speaking with the editor of the paper in question, upon the topic of this remarkable accident, when
it occurred to me to ask how it happened that the name of the deceased had been given as Bedlo.
"I presume," I said, "you have authority for this spelling, but I have always supposed the name to be
written with an e at the end."
"Authority? -- no," he replied. "It is a mere typographical error. The name is Bedlo with an e, all the world
over, and I never knew it to be spelt otherwise in my life."
"Then," said I mutteringly, as I turned upon my heel, "then indeed has it come to pass that one truth is
stranger than any fiction -- for Bedloe, without the e, what is it but Oldeb conversed! And this man tells
me that it is a typographical error."
THE TELL-TALE HEART
TRUE! - nervous - very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad?
The disease had sharpened my senses - not destroyed - not dulled them. Above all was the sense of
hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many thi ngs in hell. How, then,
am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily - how calmly I can tell you the whole story.
It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and
night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He
had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the
eye of a vulture - a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so
by degrees - very gradually - I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the
eye forever.
Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You
should have seen how wisely I proceeded - with what caution - with what foresight - with what
dissimulation I went to work! I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I
killed him. And every night, about midnight, I turned the latch of his door and opened it - oh so gently!
And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern, all closed, closed,
that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I
thrust it in! I moved it slowly - very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me
an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha!
would a madman have been so wise as this, And then, when my head was well in the room, I undid the
lantern cautiously-oh, so cautiously - cautiously (for the hinges creaked) - I undid it just so much that a
single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights - every night just at midnight
- but I found the eye always closed; and so it was impossible to do the work; for it was not the old man
who vexed me, but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber,
and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he has passed
the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed, to suspect that every night,
just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.
Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch's minute hand
moves more quickly than did mine. Never before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers - of my
sagacity. I could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was, opening the door, little
by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea; and
perhaps he heard me; for he moved on the bed suddenly, as if startled. Now you may think that I drew
back - but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness, (for the shutters were close
fastened, through fear of robbers,) and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the door, and I kept
pushing it on steadily, steadily.
I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my thumb slipped upon the tin fastening, and
the old man sprang up in bed, crying out - "Who's there?"
I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did
not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed listening; - just as I have done, night after night,
hearkening to the death watches in the wall.
Presently I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain
or of grief - oh, no! - it was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged
with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight, when all the world slept, it has welled up
from my own bosom, deepening, with its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it
well. I knew what the old man felt, and pitied him, although I chuckled at heart. I knew that he had been
lying awake ever since the first slight noise, when he had turned in the bed. His fears had been ever since
growing upon him. He had been trying to fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to
himself - "It is nothing but the wind in the chimney - it is only a mouse crossing the floor," or "It is merely
a cricket which has made a single chirp." Yes, he had been trying to comfort himself with these
suppositions: but he had found all in vain. All in vain; because Death, in approaching him had stalked with
his black shadow before him, and enveloped the victim. And it was the mournful influence of the
unperceived shadow that caused him to feel - although he neither saw nor heard - to feel the presence of
my head within the room.
When I had waited a long time, very patiently, without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little - a
very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it - you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily - until,
at length a simple dim ray, like the thread of the spider, shot from out the crevice and fell full upon the
vulture eye.
It was open - wide, wide open - and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness -
all a dull blue, with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones; but I could see
nothing else of the old man's face or person: for I had directed the ray as if by instinct, precisely upon the
damned spot.
And have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the sense? - now, I say,
there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew
that sound well, too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It increased my fury, as the beating of a
drum stimulates the soldier into courage.
But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how
steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eve. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew
quicker and quicker, and louder and louder every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme!
It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! - do you mark me well I have told you that I am nervous: so I
am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise
as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But
the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me - the
sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the
lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once - once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor,
and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But, for many
minutes, the heart beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard
through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse.
Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There
was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eye would trouble me no more.
If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the
concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence. First of all I dismembered
the corpse. I cut off the head and the arms and the legs.
I then took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I
then replaced the boards so cleverly, so cunningly, that no human eye - not even his - could have detected
any thing wrong. There was nothing to wash out - no stain of any kind - no blood-spot whatever. I had
been too wary for that. A tub had caught all - ha! ha!
When I had made an end of these labors, it was four o'clock - still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded
the hour, there came a knocking at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart, - for what
had I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers
of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbour during the night; suspicion of foul play had been
aroused; information had been lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to
search the premises.
I smiled, - for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a
dream. The old man, I mentioned, was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade
them search - search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his treasures, secure,
undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought chairs into the room, and desired them here
to rest from their fatigues, while I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat
upon the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.
The officers were satisfied. My manner had convinced them. I was singularly at ease. They sat, and while
I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished
them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears: but still they sat and still chatted. The
ringing became more distinct: - It continued and became more distinct: I talked more freely to get rid of
the feeling: but it continued and gained definiteness - until, at length, I found that the noise was not
within my ears.
No doubt I now grew very pale; - but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound
increased - and what could I do? It was a low, dull, quick sound - much such a sound as a watch makes
when enveloped in cotton. I gasped for breath - and yet the officers heard it not. I talked more quickly -
more vehemently; but the noise steadily increased. I arose and argued about trifles, in a high key and
with violent gesticulations; but the noise steadily increased. Why would they not be gone? I paced the
floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the men - but the noise
steadily increased. Oh God! what could I do? I foamed - I raved - I swore! I swung the chair upon which I
had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It
grew louder - louder - louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled. Was it possible they heard
not? Almighty God! - no, no! They heard! - they suspected! - they knew! - they were making a mockery of
my horror!-this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more
tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or
die! and now - again! - hark! louder! louder! louder! louder!
"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! - tear up the planks! here, here! - It is the
beating of his hideous heart!"
THOU ART THE MAN
I WILL now play the Oedipus to the Rattleborough enigma. I will expound to you -- as I alone can -- the
secret of the enginery that effected the Rattleborough miracle -- the one, the true, the admitted, the
undisputed, the indisputable miracle, which put a definite end to infidelity among the Rattleburghers and
converted to the orthodoxy of the grandame s all the carnal-minded who had ventured to be sceptical
before.
This event -- which I should be sorry to discuss in a tone of unsuitable levity -- occurred in the summer of
18--. Mr. Barnabas Shuttleworthy -- one of the wealthiest and most respectable citizens of the borough --
had been missing for several days under circumstances which gave rise to suspicion of foul play. Mr.
Shuttleworthy had set out from Rattleborough very early one Saturday morning, on horseback, with the
avowed intention of proceeding to the city of-, about fifteen miles distant, and of returning the night of
the same day. Two hours after his departure, however, his horse returned without him, and without the
saddle-bags which had been strapped on his back at starting. The animal was wounded, too, and covered
with mud. These circumstances naturally gave rise to much alarm among the friends of the missing man;
and when it was found, on Sunday morning, that he had not yet made his appearance, the whole borough
arose en masse to go and look for his body.
The foremost and most energetic in instituting this search was the bosom friend of Mr. Shuttleworthy -- a
Mr. Charles Goodfellow, or, as he was universally called, "Charley Goodfellow," or "Old Charley
Goodfellow." Now, whether it is a marvellous coincidence, or whether it is that the name itself has an
imperceptible effect upon the character, I have never yet been able to ascertain; but the fact is
unquestionable, that there never yet was any person named Charles who was not an open, manly, honest,
good-natured, and frank-hearted fellow, with a rich, clear voice, that did you good to hear it, and an eye
that looked you always straight in the face, as much as to say: "I have a clear conscience myself, am
afraid of no man, and am altogether above doing a mean action." And thus all the hearty, careless,
"walking gentlemen" of the stage are very certain to be called Charles.
Now, "Old Charley Goodfellow," although he had been in Rattleborough not longer than six months or
thereabouts, and although nobody knew any thing about him before he came to settle in the
neighborhood, had experienced no difficulty in the world in making the acquaintance of all the
respectable people in the borough. Not a man of them but would have taken his bare word for a thousand
at any moment; and as for the women, there is no saying what they would not have done to oblige him.
And all this came of his having been christened Charles, and of his possessing, in consequence, that
ingenuous face which is proverbially the very "best letter of recommendation."
I have already said that Mr. Shuttleworthy was one of the most respectable and, undoubtedly, he was the
most wealthy man in Rattleborough, while "Old Charley Goodfellow" was upon as intimate terms with him
as if he had been his own brother. The two old gentlemen were next-door neighbours, and, although Mr.
Shuttleworthy seldom, if ever, visited "Old Charley," and never was known to take a meal in his house, still
this did not prevent the two friends from being exceedingly intimate, as I have just observed; for "Old
Charley" never let a day pass without stepping in three or four times to see how his neighbour came on,
and very often he would stay to breakfast or tea, and almost always to dinner, and then the amount of
wine that was made way with by the two cronies at a sitting, it would really be a difficult thing to
ascertain. "Old Charleys" favorite beverage was Chateau-Margaux, and it appeared to do Mr.
Shuttleworthy's heart good to see the old fellow swallow it, as he did, quart after quart; so that, one day,
when the wine was in and the wit as a natural consequence, somewhat out, he said to his crony, as he
slapped him upon the back -- "I tell you what it is, 'Old Charley,' you are, by all odds, the heartiest old
fellow I ever came across in all my born days; and, since you love to guzzle the wine at that fashion, I'll be
darned if I don't have to make thee a present of a big box of the Chateau-Margaux. Od rot me," -- (Mr.
Shuttleworthy had a sad habit of swearing, although he seldom went beyond "Od rot me," or "By gosh," or
"By the jolly golly,") -- "Od rot me," says he, "if I don't send an order to town this very afternoon for a
double box of the best that can be got, and I'll make ye a present of it, I will! -- ye needn't say a word now
-- I will, I tell ye, and there's an end of it; so look out for it -- it will come to hand some of these fine days,
precisely when ye are looking for it the least!" I mention this little bit of liberality on the part of Mr.
Shuttleworthy, just by way of showing you how very intimate an understanding existed between the two
friends.
Well, on the Sunday morning in question, when it came to be fairly understood that Mr. Shuttleworthy had
met with foul play, I never saw any one so profoundly affected as "Old Charley Goodfellow." When he first
heard that the horse had come home without his master, and without his master's saddle-bags, and all
bloody from a pistol-shot, that had gone clean through and through the poor animal's chest without quite
killing him; when he heard all this, he turned as pale as if the missing man had been his own dear brother
or father, and shivered and shook all over as if he had had a fit of the ague.
At first he was too much overpowered with grief to be able to do any thing at all, or to concert upon any
plan of action; so that for a long time he endeavored to dissuade Mr. Shuttleworthy's other friends from
making a stir about the matter, thinking it best to wait awhile -- say for a week or two, or a month, or two
-- to see if something wouldn't turn up, or if Mr. Shuttleworthy wouldn't come in the natural way, and
explain his reasons for sending his horse on before. I dare say you have often observed this disposition to
temporize, or to procrastinate, in people who are labouring under any very poignant sorrow. Their powers
of mind seem to be rendered torpid, so that they have a horror of any thing like action, and like nothing in
the world so well as to lie quietly in bed and "nurse their grief," as the old ladies express it -- that is to say,
ruminate over the trouble.
The people of Rattleborough had, indeed, so high an opinion of the wisdom and discretion of "Old
Charley," that the greater part of them felt disposed to agree with him, and not make a stir in the business
"until something should turn up," as the honest old gentleman worded it; and I believe that, after all this
would have been the general determination, but for the very suspicious interference of Mr.
Shuttleworthy's nephew, a young man of very dissipated habits, and otherwise of rather bad character.
This nephew, whose name was Pennifeather, would listen to nothing like reason in the matter of "lying
quiet," but insisted upon making immediate search for the "corpse of the murdered man. -- This was the
expression he employed; and Mr. Goodfellow acutely remarked at the time, that it was "a singular
expression, to say no more." This remark of 'Old Charley's,' too, had great effect upon the crowd; and one
of the party was heard to ask, very impressively, "how it happened that young Mr. Pennifeather was so
intimately cognizant of all the circumstances connected with his wealthy uncle's disappearance, as to feel
authorized to assert, distinctly and unequivocally, that his uncle was 'a murdered man.'" Hereupon some
little squibbing and bickering occurred among various members of the crowd, and especially between
"Old Charley" and Mr. Pennifeather -- although this latter occurrence was, indeed, by no means a novelty,
for no good will had subsisted between the parties for the last three or four months; and matters had even
gone so far that Mr. Pennifeather had actually knocked down his uncles friend for some alleged excess of
liberty that the latter had taken in the uncle's house, of which the nephew was an inmate. Upon this
occasion "Old Charley" is said to have behaved with exemplary moderation and Christian charity. He
arose from the blow, adjusted his clothes, and made no attempt at retaliation at all -- merely muttering a
few words about "taking summary vengeance at the first convenient opportunity," -- a natural and very
justifiable ebullition of anger, which meant nothing, however, and, beyond doubt, was no sooner given
vent to than forgotten.
However these matters may be (which have no reference to the point now at issue), it is quite certain that
the people of Rattleborough, principally through the persuasion of Mr. Pennifeather, came at length to the
determination of dispersion over the adjacent country in search of the missing Mr. Shuttleworthy. I say
they came to this determination in the first instance. After it had been fully resolved that a search should
be made, it was considered almost a matter of course that the seekers should disperse -- that is to say,
distribute themselves in parties -- for the more thorough examination of the region round about. I forget,
however, by what ingenious train of reasoning it was that "Old Charley" finally convinced the assembly
that this was the most injudicious plan that could be pursued. Convince them, however, he did -- all except
Mr. Pennifeather, and, in the end, it was arranged that a search should be instituted, carefully and very
thoroughly, by the burghers en masse, "Old Charley" himself leading the way.
As for the matter of that, there could have been no better pioneer than "Old Charley," whom everybody
knew to have the eye of a lynx; but, although he led them into all manner of out-of-the-way holes and
corners, by routes that nobody had ever suspected of existing in the neighbourhood, and although the
search was incessantly kept up day and night for nearly a week, still no trace of Mr. Shuttleworthy could
be discovered. When I say no trace, however, I must not be understood to speak literally, for trace, to
some extent, there certainly was. The poor gentleman had been tracked, by his horses shoes (which were
peculiar), to a spot about three miles to the east of the borough, on the main road leading to the city. Here
the track made off into a by-path through a piece of woodland -- the path coming out again into the main
road, and cutting off about half a mile of the regular distance. Following the shoe-marks down this lane,
the party came at length to a pool of stagnant water, half hidden by the brambles, to the right of the lane,
and opposite this pool all vestige of the track was lost sight of. It appeared, however, that a struggle of
some nature had here taken place, and it seemed as if some large and heavy body, much larger and
heavier than a man, had been drawn from the by-path to the pool. This latter was carefully dragged twice,
but nothing was found; and the party was upon the point of going away, in despair of coming to any
result, when Providence suggested to Mr. Goodfellow the expediency of draining the water off altogether.
This project was received with cheers, and many high compliments to "Old Charley" upon his sagacity and
consideration. As many of the burghers had brought spades with them, supposing that they might
possibly be called upon to disinter a corpse, the drain was easily and speedily effected; and no sooner was
the bottom visible, than right in the middle of the mud that remained was discovered a black silk velvet
waistcoat, which nearly every one present immediately recognized as the property of Mr. Pennifeather.
This waistcoat was much torn and stained with blood, and there were several persons among the party
who had a distinct remembrance of its having been worn by its owner on the very morning of Mr.
Shuttleworthy's departure for the city; while there were others, again, ready to testify upon oath, if
required, that Mr. P. did not wear the garment in question at any period during the remainder of that
memorable day, nor could any one be found to say that he had seen it upon Mr. P.'s person at any period
at all subsequent to Mr. Shuttleworthy's disappearance.
Matters now wore a very serious aspect for Mr. Pennifeather, and it was observed, as an indubitable
confirmation of the suspicions which were excited against him, that he grew exceedingly pale, and when
asked what he had to say for himself, was utterly incapable of saying a word. Hereupon, the few friends
his riotous mode of living had left him, deserted him at once to a man, and were even more clamorous
than his ancient and avowed enemies for his instantaneous arrest. But, on the other hand, the
magnanimity of Mr. Goodfellow shone forth with only the more brilliant lustre through contrast. He made
a warm and intensely eloquent defence of Mr. Pennifeather, in which he alluded more than once to his
own sincere forgiveness of that wild young gentleman -- "the heir of the worthy Mr. Shuttleworthy," -- for
the insult which he (the young gentleman) had, no doubt in the heat of passion, thought proper to put
upon him (Mr. Goodfellow). "He forgave him for it," he said, "from the very bottom of his heart; and for
himself (Mr. Goodfellow), so far from pushing the suspicious circumstances to extremity, which he was
sorry to say, really had arisen against Mr. Pennifeather, he (Mr. Goodfellow) would make every exertion in
his power, would employ all the little eloquence in his possession to -- to -- to -- soften down, as much as
he could conscientiously do so, the worst features of this really exceedingly perplexing piece of business."
Mr. Goodfellow went on for some half hour longer in this strain, very much to the credit both of his head
and of his heart; but your warm-hearted people are seldom apposite in their observations -- they run into
all sorts of blunders, contre-temps and mal apropos-isms, in the hot-headedness of their zeal to serve a
friend -- thus, often with the kindest intentions in the world, doing infinitely more to prejudice his cause
than to advance it.
So, in the present instance, it turned out with all the eloquence of "Old Charley"; for, although he
laboured earnestly in behalf of the suspected, yet it so happened, somehow or other, that every syllable
he uttered of which the direct but unwitting tendency was not to exalt the speaker in the good opinion of
his audience, had the effect to deepen the suspicion already attached to the individual whose cause he
pleaded, and to arouse against him the fury of the mob.
One of the most unaccountable errors committed by the orator was his allusion to the suspected as "the
heir of the worthy old gentleman Mr. Shuttleworthy." The people had really never thought of this before.
They had only remembered certain threats of disinheritance uttered a year or two previously by the uncle
(who had no living relative except the nephew), and they had, therefore, always looked upon this
disinheritance as a matter that was settled -- so single-minded a race of beings were the Rattleburghers;
but the remark of "Old Charley" brought them at once to a consideration of this point, and thus gave them
to see the possibility of the threats having been nothing more than a threat. And straightway hereupon,
arose the natural question of cui bono? -- a question that tended even more than the waistcoat to fasten
the terrible crime upon the young man. And here, lest I may be misunderstood, permit me to digress for
one moment merely to observe that the exceedingly brief and simple Latin phrase which I have employed,
is invariably mistranslated and misconceived. "Cui bono?" in all the crack novels and elsewhere, -- in
those of Mrs. Gore, for example, (the author of "Cecil,") a lady who quotes all tongues from the Chaldaean
to Chickasaw, and is helped to her learning, "as needed," upon a systematic plan, by Mr. Beckford, -- in all
the crack novels, I say, from those of Bulwer and Dickens to those of Bulwer and Dickens to those of
Turnapenny and Ainsworth, the two little Latin words cui bono are rendered "to what purpose?" or, (as if
quo bono,) "to what good." Their true meaning, nevertheless, is "for whose advantage." Cui, to whom;
bono, is it for a benefit. It is a purely legal phrase, and applicable precisely in cases such as we have now
under consideration, where the probability of the doer of a deed hinges upon the probability of the benefit
accruing to this individual or to that from the deed's accomplishment. Now in the present instance, the
question cui bono? very pointedly implicated Mr. Pennifeather. His uncle had threatened him, after
making a will in his favour, with disinheritance. But the threat had not been actually kept; the original
will, it appeared, had not been altered. Had it been altered, the only supposable motive for murder on the
part of the suspected would have been the ordinary one of revenge; and even this would have been
counteracted by the hope of reinstation into the good graces of the uncle. But the will being unaltered,
while the threat to alter remained suspended over the nephew's head, there appears at once the very
strongest possible inducement for the atrocity, and so concluded, very sagaciously, the worthy citizens of
the borough of Rattle.
Mr. Pennifeather was, accordingly, arrested upon the spot, and the crowd, after some further search,
proceeded homeward, having him in custody. On the route, however, another circumstance occurred
tending to confirm the suspicion entertained. Mr. Goodfellow, whose zeal led him to be always a little in
advance of the party, was seen suddenly to run forward a few paces, stoop, and then apparently to pick up
some small object from the grass. Having quickly examined it he was observed, too, to make a sort of half
attempt at concealing it in his coat pocket; but this action was noticed, as I say, and consequently
prevented, when the object picked up was found to be a Spanish knife which a dozen persons at once
recognized as belonging to Mr. Pennifeather. Moreover, his initials were engraved upon the handle. The
blade of this knife was open and bloody.
No doubt now remained of the guilt of the nephew, and immediately upon reaching Rattleborough he was
taken before a magistrate for examination.
Here matters again took a most unfavourable turn. The prisoner, being questioned as to his whereabouts
on the morning of Mr. Shuttleworthy's disappearance, had absolutely the audacity to acknowledge that on
that very morning he had been out with his rifle deer-stalking, in the immediate neighbourhood of the
pool where the blood-stained waistcoat had been discovered through the sagacity of Mr. Goodfellow.
This latter now came forward, and, with tears in his eyes, asked permission to be examined. He said that
a stern sense of the duty he owed his Maker, not less than his fellow-men, would permit him no longer to
remain silent. Hitherto, the sincerest affection for the young man (notwithstanding the latter's ill-
treatment of himself, Mr. Goodfellow) had induced him to make every hypothesis which imagination could
suggest, by way of endeavoring to account for what appeared suspicious in the circumstances that told so
seriously against Mr. Pennifeather, but these circumstances were now altogether too convincing -- too
damning, he would hesitate no longer -- he would tell all he knew, although his heart (Mr. Goodfellow's)
should absolutely burst asunder in the effort. He then went on to state that, on the afternoon of the day
previous to Mr. Shuttleworthy's departure for the city, that worthy old gentleman had mentioned to his
nephew, in his hearing (Mr. Goodfellow's), that his object in going to town on the morrow was to make a
deposit of an unusually large sum of money in the "Farmers and Mechanics' Bank," and that, then and
there, the said Mr. Shuttleworthy had distinctly avowed to the said nephew his irrevocable determination
of rescinding the will originally made, and of cutting him off with a shilling. He (the witness) now
solemnly called upon the accused to state whether what he (the witness) had just stated was or was not
the truth in every substantial particular. Much to the astonishment of every one present, Mr. Pennifeather
frankly admitted that it was.
The magistrate now considered it his duty to send a couple of constables to search the chamber of the
accused in the house of his uncle. From this search they almost immediately returned with the well-
known steel-bound, russet leather pocket-book which the old gentleman had been in the habit of carrying
for years. Its valuable contents, however, had been abstracted, and the magistrate in vain endeavored to
extort from the prisoner the use which had been made of them, or the place of their concealment. Indeed,
he obstinately denied all knowledge of the matter. The constables, also, discovered, between the bed and
sacking of the unhappy man, a shirt and neck-handkerchief both marked with the initials of his name, and
both hideously besmeared with the blood of the victim.
At this juncture, it was announced that the horse of the murdered man had just expired in the stable from
the effects of the wound he had received, and it was proposed by Mr. Goodfellow that a post mortem
examination of the beast should be immediately made, with the view, if possible, of discovering the ball.
This was accordingly done; and, as if to demonstrate beyond a question the guilt of the accused, Mr.
Goodfellow, after considerable searching in the cavity of the chest was enabled to detect and to pull forth
a bullet of very extraordinary size, which, upon trial, was found to be exactly adapted to the bore of Mr.
Pennifeather's rifle, while it was far too large for that of any other person in the borough or its vicinity. To
render the matter even surer yet, however, this bullet was discovered to have a flaw or seam at right
angles to the usual suture, and upon examination, this seam corresponded precisely with an accidental
ridge or elevation in a pair of moulds acknowledged by the accused himself to be his own property. Upon
finding of this bullet, the examining magistrate refused to listen to any farther testimony, and immediately
committed the prisoner for trial-declining resolutely to take any bail in the case, although against this
severity Mr. Goodfellow very warmly remonstrated, and offered to become surety in whatever amount
might be required. This generosity on the part of "Old Charley" was only in accordance with the whole
tenour of his amiable and chivalrous conduct during the entire period of his sojourn in the borough of
Rattle. In the present instance the worthy man was so entirely carried away by the excessive warmth of
his sympathy, that he seemed to have quite forgotten, when he offered to go bail for his young friend, that
he himself (Mr. Goodfellow) did not possess a single dollar's worth of property upon the face of the earth.
The result of the committal may be readily foreseen. Mr. Pennifeather, amid the loud execrations of all
Rattleborough, was brought to trial at the next criminal sessions, when the chain of circumstantial
evidence (strengthened as it was by some additional damning facts, which Mr. Goodfellow's sensitive
conscientiousness forbade him to withhold from the court) was considered so unbroken and so thoroughly
conclusive, that the jury, without leaving their seats, returned an immediate verdict of "Guilty of murder
in the first degree." Soon afterward the unhappy wretch received sentence of death, and was remanded
to the county jail to await the inexorable vengeance of the law.
In the meantime, the noble behavior of "Old Charley Goodfellow, had doubly endeared him to the honest
citizens of the borough. He became ten times a greater favorite than ever, and, as a natural result of the
hospitality with which he was treated, he relaxed, as it were, perforce, the extremely parsimonious habits
which his poverty had hitherto impelled him to observe, and very frequently had little reunions at his own
house, when wit and jollity reigned supreme-dampened a little, of course, by the occasional remembrance
of the untoward and melancholy fate which impended over the nephew of the late lamented bosom friend
of the generous host.
One fine day, this magnanimous old gentleman was agreeably surprised at the receipt of the following
letter:-
Charles Goodfellow, Esq., RattleboroughFrom H.F.B. & Co.Chat. Mar. A -- No. 1.-- 6 doz. bottles (1/2
Gross)
{The above inscription lies vertically to the left of the following letter in the print version --Ed.}
"Dear Sir -- In conformity with an order transmitted to our firm about two months since, by our esteemed
correspondent, Mr. Barnabus Shuttleworthy, we have the honor of forwarding this morning, to your
address, a double box of Chateau-Margaux of the antelope brand, violet seal. Box numbered and marked
as per margin.
"We remain, sir , "Your most ob'nt ser'ts, "HOGGS, FROGS, BOGS, & CO.
"P.S. -- The box will reach you by wagon, on the day after your receipt of this letter. Our respects to Mr.
Shuttleworthy.
The fact is, that Mr. Goodfellow had, since the death of Mr. Shuttleworthy, given over all expectation of
ever receiving the promised Chateau-Margaux; and he, therefore, looked upon it now as a sort of especial
dispensation of Providence in his behalf. He was highly delighted, of course, and in the exuberance of his
joy invited a large party of friends to a petit souper on the morrow, for the purpose of broaching the good
old Mr. Shuttleworthy's present. Not that he said any thing about "the good old Mr. Shuttleworthy" when
he issued the invitations. The fact is, he thought much and concluded to say nothing at all. He did not
mention to any one -- if I remember aright -- that he had received a present of Chateau-Margaux. He
merely asked his friends to come and help him drink some, of a remarkable fine quality and rich flavour,
that he had ordered up from the city a couple of months ago, and of which he would be in the receipt
upon the morrow. I have often puzzled myself to imagine why it was that "Old Charley" came to the
conclusion to say nothing about having received the wine from his old friend, but I could never precisely
understand his reason for the silence, although he had some excellent and very magnanimous reason, no
doubt.
The morrow at length arrived, and with it a very large and highly respectable company at Mr.
Goodfellow's house. Indeed, half the borough was there, -- I myself among the number, -- but, much to the
vexation of the host, the Chateau-Margaux did not arrive until a late hour, and when the sumptuous
supper supplied by "Old Charley" had been done very ample justice by the guests. It came at length,
however, -- a monstrously big box of it there was, too -- and as the whole party were in excessively good
humor, it was decided, nem. con., that it should be lifted upon the table and its contents disembowelled
forthwith.
No sooner said than done. I lent a helping hand; and, in a trice we had the box upon the table, in the
midst of all the bottles and glasses, not a few of which were demolished in the scuffle. "Old Charley," who
was pretty much intoxicated, and excessively red in the face, now took a seat, with an air of mock dignity,
at the head of the board, and thumped furiously upon it with a decanter, calling upon the company to
keep order "during the ceremony of disinterring the treasure."
After some vociferation, quiet was at length fully restored, and, as very often happens in similar cases, a
profound and remarkable silence ensued. Being then requested to force open the lid, I complied, of
course, "with an infinite deal of pleasure." I inserted a chisel, and giving it a few slight taps with a
hammer, the top of the box flew suddenly off, and at the same instant, there sprang up into a sitting
position, directly facing the host, the bruised, bloody, and nearly putrid corpse of the murdered Mr.
Shuttleworthy himself. It gazed for a few seconds, fixedly and sorrowfully, with its decaying and lack-
lustre eyes, full into the countenance of Mr. Goodfellow; uttered slowly, but clearly and impressively, the
words -- "Thou art the man!" and then, falling over the side of the chest as if thoroughly satisfied,
stretched out its limbs quiveringly upon the table.
The scene that ensued is altogether beyond description. The rush for the doors and windows was terrific,
and many of the most robust men in the room fainted outright through sheer horror. But after the first
wild, shrieking burst of affright, all eyes were directed to Mr. Goodfellow. If I live a thousand years, I can
never forget the more than mortal agony which was depicted in that ghastly face of his, so lately rubicund
with triumph and wine. For several minutes he sat rigidly as a statue of marble; his eyes seeming, in the
intense vacancy of their gaze, to be turned inward and absorbed in the contemplation of his own
miserable, murderous soul. At length their expression appeared to flash suddenly out into the external
world, when, with a quick leap, he sprang from his chair, and falling heavily with his head and shoulders
upon the table, and in contact with the corpse, poured out rapidly and vehemently a detailed confession
of the hideous crime for which Mr. Pennifeather was then imprisoned and doomed to die.
What he recounted was in substance this: -- He followed his victim to the vicinity of the pool; there shot
his horse with a pistol; despatched its rider with the butt end; possessed himself of the pocket-book, and,
supposing the horse dead, dragged it with great labour to the brambles by the pond. Upon his own beast
he slung the corpse of Mr. Shuttleworthy, and thus bore it to a secure place of concealment a long
distance off through the woods.
The waistcoat, the knife, the pocket-book, and bullet, had been placed by himself where found, with the
view of avenging himself upon Mr. Pennifeather. He had also contrived the discovery of the stained
handkerchief and shirt.
Towards the end of the blood-churning recital the words of the guilty wretch faltered and grew hollow.
When the record was finally exhausted, he arose, staggered backward from the table, and fell-dead.
The means by which this happily-timed confession was extorted, although efficient, were simple indeed.
Mr. Goodfellow's excess of frankness had disgusted me, and excited my suspicions from the first. I was
present when Mr. Pennifeather had struck him, and the fiendish expression which then arose upon his
countenance, although momentary, assured me that his threat of vengeance would, if possible, be rigidly
fulfilled. I was thus prepared to view the manoeuvering of "Old Charley" in a very different light from that
in which it was regarded by the good citizens of Rattleborough. I saw at once that all the criminating
discoveries arose, either directly or indirectly, from himself. But the fact which clearly opened my eyes to
the true state of the case, was the affair of the bullet, found by Mr. G. in the carcass of the horse. I had
not forgotten, although the Rattleburghers had, that there was a hole where the ball had entered the
horse, and another where it went out. If it were found in the animal then, after having made its exit, I saw
clearly that it must have been deposited by the person who found it. The bloody shirt and handkerchief
confirmed the idea suggested by the bullet; for the blood on examination proved to be capital claret, and
no more. When I came to think of these things, and also of the late increase of liberality and expenditure
on the part of Mr. Goodfellow, I entertained a suspicion which was none the less strong because I kept it
altogether to myself.
In the meantime, I instituted a rigorous private search for the corpse of Mr. Shuttleworthy, and, for good
reasons, searched in quarters as divergent as possible from those to which Mr. Goodfellow conducted his
party. The result was that, after some days, I came across an old dry well, the mouth of which was nearly
hidden by brambles; and here, at the bottom, I discovered what I sought.
Now it so happened that I had overheard the colloquy between the two cronies, when Mr. Goodfellow had
contrived to cajole his host into the promise of a box of Chateaux-Margaux. Upon this hint I acted. I
procured a stiff piece of whalebone, thrust it down the throat of the corpse, and deposited the latter in an
old wine box-taking care so to double the body up as to double the whalebone with it. In this manner I had
to press forcibly upon the lid to keep it down while I secured it with nails; and I anticipated, of course,
that as soon as these latter were removed, the top would fly off and the body up.
Having thus arranged the box, I marked, numbered, and addressed it as already told; and then writing a
letter in the name of the wine merchants with whom Mr. Shuttleworthy dealt, I gave instructions to my
servant to wheel the box to Mr. Goodfellow's door, in a barrow, at a given signal from myself. For the
words which I intended the corpse to speak, I confidently depended upon my ventriloquial abilities; for
their effect, I counted upon the conscience of the murderous wretch.
I believe there is nothing more to be explained. Mr. Pennifeather was released upon the spot, inherited
the fortune of his uncle, profited by the lessons of experience, turned over a new leaf, and led happily
ever afterward a new life.
THE THOUSAND-AND-SECOND TALE OF SCHEHERAZADE
HAVING had occasion, lately, in the course of some Oriental investigations, to consult the Tellmenow
Isitsoornot, a work which (like the Zohar of Simeon Jochaides) is scarcely known at all, even in Europe;
and which has never been quoted, to my knowledge, by any Americ an -- if we except, perhaps, the author
of the "Curiosities of American Literature"; -- having had occasion, I say, to turn over some pages of the
first -- mentioned very remarkable work, I was not a little astonished to discover that the literary world
has hitherto been strangely in error respecting the fate of the vizier's daughter, Scheherazade, as that
fate is depicted in the "Arabian Nights"; and that the denouement there given, if not altogether
inaccurate, as far as it goes, is at least to blame in not having gone very much farther.
For full information on this interesting topic, I must refer the inquisitive reader to the "Isitsoornot" itself,
but in the meantime, I shall be pardoned for giving a summary of what I there discovered.
It will be remembered, that, in the usual version of the tales, a certain monarch having good cause to be
jealous of his queen, not only puts her to death, but makes a vow, by his beard and the prophet, to
espouse each night the most beautiful maiden in his dominions, and the next morning to deliver her up to
the executioner.
Having fulfilled this vow for many years to the letter, and with a religious punctuality and method that
conferred great credit upon him as a man of devout feeling and excellent sense, he was interrupted one
afternoon (no doubt at his prayers) by a visit from his grand vizier, to whose daughter, it appears, there
had occurred an idea.
Her name was Scheherazade, and her idea was, that she would either redeem the land from the
depopulating tax upon its beauty, or perish, after the approved fashion of all heroines, in the attempt.
Accordingly, and although we do not find it to be leap-year (which makes the sacrifice more meritorious),
she deputes her father, the grand vizier, to make an offer to the king of her hand. This hand the king
eagerly accepts -- (he had intended to take it at all events, and had put off the matter from day to day,
only through fear of the vizier), -- but, in accepting it now, he gives all parties very distinctly to
understand, that, grand vizier or no grand vizier, he has not the slightest design of giving up one iota of
his vow or of his privileges. When, therefore, the fair Scheherazade insisted upon marrying the king, and
did actually marry him despite her father's excellent advice not to do any thing of the kind -- when she
would and did marry him, I say, will I, nill I, it was with her beautiful black eyes as thoroughly open as the
nature of the case would allow.
It seems, however, that this politic damsel (who had been reading Machiavelli, beyond doubt), had a very
ingenious little plot in her mind. On the night of the wedding, she contrived, upon I forget what specious
pretence, to have her sister occupy a couch sufficiently near that of the royal pair to admit of easy
conversation from bed to bed; and, a little before cock-crowing, she took care to awaken the good
monarch, her husband (who bore her none the worse will because he intended to wring her neck on the
morrow), -- she managed to awaken him, I say, (although on account of a capital conscience and an easy
digestion, he slept well) by the profound interest of a story (about a rat and a black cat, I think) which she
was narrating (all in an undertone, of course) to her sister. When the day broke, it so happened that this
history was not altogether finished, and that Scheherazade, in the nature of things could not finish it just
then, since it was high time for her to get up and be bowstrung -- a thing very little more pleasant than
hanging, only a trifle more genteel.
The king's curiosity, however, prevailing, I am sorry to say, even over his sound religious principles,
induced him for this once to postpone the fulfilment of his vow until next morning, for the purpose and
with the hope of hearing that night how it fared in the end with the black cat (a black cat, I think it was)
and the rat.
The night having arrived, however, the lady Scheherazade not only put the finishing stroke to the black
cat and the rat (the rat was blue) but before she well knew what she was about, found herself deep in the
intricacies of a narration, having reference (if I am not altogether mistaken) to a pink horse (with green
wings) that went, in a violent manner, by clockwork, and was wound up with an indigo key. With this
history the king was even more profoundly interested than with the other -- and, as the day broke before
its conclusion (notwithstanding all the queen's endeavors to get through with it in time for the
bowstringing), there was again no resource but to postpone that ceremony as before, for twenty-four
hours. The next night there happened a similar accident with a similar result; and then the next -- and
then again the next; so that, in the end, the good monarch, having been unavoidably deprived of all
opportunity to keep his vow during a period of no less than one thousand and one nights, either forgets it
altogether by the expiration of this time, or gets himself absolved of it in the regular way, or (what is more
probable) breaks it outright, as well as the head of his father confessor. At all events, Scheherazade, who,
being lineally descended from Eve, fell heir, perhaps, to the whole seven baskets of talk, which the latter
lady, we all know, picked up from under the trees in the garden of Eden-Scheherazade, I say, finally
triumphed, and the tariff upon beauty was repealed.
Now, this conclusion (which is that of the story as we have it upon record) is, no doubt, excessively proper
and pleasant -- but alas! like a great many pleasant things, is more pleasant than true, and I am indebted
altogether to the "Isitsoornot" for the means of correcting the error. "Le mieux," says a French proverb,
"est l'ennemi du bien," and, in mentioning that Scheherazade had inherited the seven baskets of talk, I
should have added that she put them out at compound interest until they amounted to seventy-seven.
"My dear sister," said she, on the thousand-and-second night, (I quote the language of the "Isitsoornot" at
this point, verbatim) "my dear sister," said she, "now that all this little difficulty about the bowstring has
blown over, and that this odious tax is so happily repealed, I feel that I have been guilty of great
indiscretion in withholding from you and the king (who I am sorry to say, snores -- a thing no gentleman
would do) the full conclusion of Sinbad the sailor. This person went through numerous other and more
interesting adventures than those which I related; but the truth is, I felt sleepy on the particular night of
their narration, and so was seduced into cutting them short -- a grievous piece of misconduct, for which I
only trust that Allah will forgive me. But even yet it is not too late to remedy my great neglect -- and as
soon as I have given the king a pinch or two in order to wake him up so far that he may stop making that
horrible noise, I will forthwith entertain you (and him if he pleases) with the sequel of this very
remarkable story."
Hereupon the sister of Scheherazade, as I have it from the "Isitsoornot," expressed no very particular
intensity of gratification; but the king, having been sufficiently pinched, at length ceased snoring, and
finally said, "hum!" and then "hoo!" when the queen, understanding these words (which are no doubt
Arabic) to signify that he was all attention, and would do his best not to snore any more -- the queen, I
say, having arranged these matters to her satisfaction, re-entered thus, at once, into the history of Sinbad
the sailor:
"'At length, in my old age, [these are the words of Sinbad himself, as retailed by Scheherazade] -- 'at
length, in my old age, and after enjoying many years of tranquillity at home, I became once more
possessed of a desire of visiting foreign countries; and one day, without acquainting any of my family with
my design, I packed up some bundles of such merchandise as was most precious and least bulky, and,
engaged a porter to carry them, went with him down to the sea-shore, to await the arrival of any chance
vessel that might convey me out of the kingdom into some region which I had not as yet explored.
"'Having deposited the packages upon the sands, we sat down beneath some trees, and looked out into
the ocean in the hope of perceiving a ship, but during several hours we saw none whatever. At length I
fancied that I could hear a singular buzzing or humming sound; and the porter, after listening awhile,
declared that he also could distinguish it. Presently it grew louder, and then still louder, so that we could
have no doubt that the object which caused it was approaching us. At length, on the edge of the horizon,
we discovered a black speck, which rapidly increased in size until we made it out to be a vast monster,
swimming with a great part of its body above the surface of the sea. It came toward us with inconceivable
swiftness, throwing up huge waves of foam around its breast, and illuminating all that part of the sea
through which it passed, with a long line of fire that extended far off into the distance.
"'As the thing drew near we saw it very distinctly. Its length was equal to that of three of the loftiest trees
that grow, and it was as wide as the great hall of audience in your palace, O most sublime and munificent
of the Caliphs. Its body, which was unlike that of ordinary fishes, was as solid as a rock, and of a jetty
blackness throughout all that portion of it which floated above the water, with the exception of a narrow
blood-red streak that completely begirdled it. The belly, which floated beneath the surface, and of which
we could get only a glimpse now and then as the monster rose and fell with the billows, was entirely
covered with metallic scales, of a color like that of the moon in misty weather. The back was flat and
nearly white, and from it there extended upwards of six spines, about half the length of the whole body.
"'The horrible creature had no mouth that we could perceive, but, as if to make up for this deficiency, it
was provided with at least four score of eyes, that protruded from their sockets like those of the green
dragon-fly, and were arranged all around the body in two rows, one above the other, and parallel to the
blood-red streak, which seemed to answer the purpose of an eyebrow. Two or three of these dreadful eyes
were much larger than the others, and had the appearance of solid gold.
"'Although this beast approached us, as I have before said, with the greatest rapidity, it must have been
moved altogether by necromancy- for it had neither fins like a fish nor web-feet like a duck, nor wings like
the seashell which is blown along in the manner of a vessel; nor yet did it writhe itself forward as do the
eels. Its head and its tail were shaped precisely alike, only, not far from the latter, were two small holes
that served for nostrils, and through which the monster puffed out its thick breath with prodigious
violence, and with a shrieking, disagreeable noise.
"'Our terror at beholding this hideous thing was very great, but it was even surpassed by our
astonishment, when upon getting a nearer look, we perceived upon the creature's back a vast number of
animals about the size and shape of men, and altogether much resembling them, except that they wore no
garments (as men do), being supplied (by nature, no doubt) with an ugly uncomfortable covering, a good
deal like cloth, but fitting so tight to the skin, as to render the poor wretches laughably awkward, and put
them apparently to severe pain. On the very tips of their heads were certain square-looking boxes, which,
at first sight, I thought might have been intended to answer as turbans, but I soon discovered that they
were excessively heavy and solid, and I therefore concluded they were contrivances designed, by their
great weight, to keep the heads of the animals steady and safe upon their shoulders. Around the necks of
the creatures were fastened black collars, (badges of servitude, no doubt,) such as we keep on our dogs,
only much wider and infinitely stiffer, so that it was quite impossible for these poor victims to move their
heads in any direction without moving the body at the same time; and thus they were doomed to
perpetual contemplation of their noses -- a view puggish and snubby in a wonderful, if not positively in an
awful degree.
"'When the monster had nearly reached the shore where we stood, it suddenly pushed out one of its eyes
to a great extent, and emitted from it a terrible flash of fire, accompanied by a dense cloud of smoke, and
a noise that I can compare to nothing but thunder. As the smoke cleared away, we saw one of the odd
man-animals standing near the head of the large beast with a trumpet in his hand, through which (putting
it to his mouth) he presently addressed us in loud, harsh, and disagreeable accents, that, perhaps, we
should have mistaken for language, had they not come altogether through the nose.
"'Being thus evidently spoken to, I was at a loss how to reply, as I could in no manner understand what
was said; and in this difficulty I turned to the porter, who was near swooning through affright, and
demanded of him his opinion as to what species of monster it was, what it wanted, and what kind of
creatures those were that so swarmed upon its back. To this the porter replied, as well as he could for
trepidation, that he had once before heard of this sea-beast; that it was a cruel demon, with bowels of
sulphur and blood of fire, created by evil genii as the means of inflicting misery upon mankind; that the
things upon its back were vermin, such as sometimes infest cats and dogs, only a little larger and more
savage; and that these vermin had their uses, however evil -- for, through the torture they caused the
beast by their nibbling and stingings, it was goaded into that degree of wrath which was requisite to
make it roar and commit ill, and so fulfil the vengeful and malicious designs of the wicked genii.
"This account determined me to take to my heels, and, without once even looking behind me, I ran at full
speed up into the hills, while the porter ran equally fast, although nearly in an opposite direction, so that,
by these means, he finally made his escape with my bundles, of which I have no doubt he took excellent
care -- although this is a point I cannot determine, as I do not remember that I ever beheld him again.
"'For myself, I was so hotly pursued by a swarm of the men-vermin (who had come to the shore in boats)
that I was very soon overtaken, bound hand and foot, and conveyed to the beast, which immediately swam
out again into the middle of the sea.
"'I now bitterly repented my folly in quitting a comfortable home to peril my life in such adventures as
this; but regret being useless, I made the best of my condition, and exerted myself to secure the goodwill
of the man-animal that owned the trumpet, and who appeared to exercise authority over his fellows. I
succeeded so well in this endeavor that, in a few days, the creature bestowed upon me various tokens of
his favor, and in the end even went to the trouble of teaching me the rudiments of what it was vain
enough to denominate its language; so that, at length, I was enabled to converse with it readily, and came
to make it comprehend the ardent desire I had of seeing the world.
"'Washish squashish squeak, Sinbad, hey-diddle diddle, grunt unt grumble, hiss, fiss, whiss,' said he to
me, one day after dinner- but I beg a thousand pardons, I had forgotten that your majesty is not
conversant with the dialect of the Cock-neighs (so the man-animals were called; I presume because their
language formed the connecting link between that of the horse and that of the rooster). With your
permission, I will translate. 'Washish squashish,' and so forth: -- that is to say, 'I am happy to find, my dear
Sinbad, that you are really a very excellent fellow; we are now about doing a thing which is called
circumnavigating the globe; and since you are so desirous of seeing the world, I will strain a point and
give you a free passage upon back of the beast.'"
When the Lady Scheherazade had proceeded thus far, relates the "Isitsoornot," the king turned over from
his left side to his right, and said:
"It is, in fact, very surprising, my dear queen, that you omitted, hitherto, these latter adventures of
Sinbad. Do you know I think them exceedingly entertaining and strange?"
The king having thus expressed himself, we are told, the fair Scheherazade resumed her history in the
following words:
"Sinbad went on in this manner with his narrative to the caliph- 'I thanked the man-animal for its
kindness, and soon found myself very much at home on the beast, which swam at a prodigious rate
through the ocean; although the surface of the latter is, in that part of the world, by no means flat, but
round like a pomegranate, so that we went -- so to say -- either up hill or down hill all the time.'
"That I think, was very singular," interrupted the king.
"I have my doubts," rejoined the king; "but, pray, be so good as to go on with the story."
"I will," said the queen. "'The beast,' continued Sinbad to the caliph, 'swam, as I have related, up hill and
down hill until, at length, we arrived at an island, many hundreds of miles in circumference, but which,
nevertheless, had been built in the middle of the sea by a colony of little things like caterpillars'" {*1}
"'Leaving this island,' said Sinbad -- (for Scheherazade, it must be understood, took no notice of her
husband's ill-mannered ejaculation) 'leaving this island, we came to another where the forests were of
solid stone, and so hard that they shivered to pieces the finest-tempered axes with which we endeavoured
to cut them down."' {*2}
"Hum!" said the king, again; but Scheherazade, paying him no attention, continued in the language of
Sinbad.
"'Passing beyond this last island, we reached a country where there was a cave that ran to the distance of
thirty or forty miles within the bowels of the earth, and that contained a greater number of far more
spacious and more magnificent palaces than are to be found in all Damascus and Bagdad. From the roofs
of these palaces there hung myriads of gems, liked diamonds, but larger than men; and in among the
streets of towers and pyramids and temples, there flowed immense rivers as black as ebony, and
swarming with fish that had no eyes.'" {*3}
"Hum!" said the king. "'We then swam into a region of the sea where we found a lofty mountain, down
whose sides there streamed torrents of melted metal, some of which were twelve miles wide and sixty
miles long {*4}; while from an abyss on the summit, issued so vast a quantity of ashes that the sun was
entirely blotted out from the heavens, and it became darker than the darkest midnight; so that when we
were even at the distance of a hundred and fifty miles from the mountain, it was impossible to see the
whitest object, however close we held it to our eyes.'" {*5}
"'After quitting this coast, the beast continued his voyage until we met with a land in which the nature of
things seemed reversed -- for we here saw a great lake, at the bottom of which, more than a hundred feet
beneath the surface of the water, there flourished in full leaf a forest of tall and luxuriant trees.'" {*6}
"Some hundred miles farther on brought us to a climate where the atmosphere was so dense as to sustain
iron or steel, just as our own does feather.'" {*7}
"Proceeding still in the same direction, we presently arrived at the most magnificent region in the whole
world. Through it there meandered a glorious river for several thousands of miles. This river was of
unspeakable depth, and of a transparency richer than that of amber. It was from three to six miles in
width; and its banks which arose on either side to twelve hundred feet in perpendicular height, were
crowned with ever-blossoming trees and perpetual sweet-scented flowers, that made the whole territory
one gorgeous garden; but the name of this luxuriant land was the Kingdom of Horror, and to enter it was
inevitable death'" {*8}
"'We left this kingdom in great haste, and, after some days, came to another, where we were astonished to
perceive myriads of monstrous animals with horns resembling scythes upon their heads. These hideous
beasts dig for themselves vast caverns in the soil, of a funnel shape, and line the sides of them with,
rocks, so disposed one upon the other that they fall instantly, when trodden upon by other animals, thus
precipitating them into the monster's dens, where their blood is immediately sucked, and their carcasses
afterwards hurled contemptuously out to an immense distance from "the caverns of death."'" {*9}
"'Continuing our progress, we perceived a district with vegetables that grew not upon any soil but in the
air. {*10} There were others that sprang from the substance of other vegetables; {*11} others that
derived their substance from the bodies of living animals; {*12} and then again, there were others that
glowed all over with intense fire; {*13} others that moved from place to place at pleasure, {*14} and
what was still more wonderful, we discovered flowers that lived and breathed and moved their limbs at
will and had, moreover, the detestable passion of mankind for enslaving other creatures, and confining
them in horrid and solitary prisons until the fulfillment of appointed tasks.'" {*15}
"'Quitting this land, we soon arrived at another in which the bees and the birds are mathematicians of
such genius and erudition, that they give daily instructions in the science of geometry to the wise men of
the empire. The king of the place having offered a reward for the solution of two very difficult problems,
they were solved upon the spot -- the one by the bees, and the other by the birds; but the king keeping
their solution a secret, it was only after the most profound researches and labor, and the writing of an
infinity of big books, during a long series of years, that the men-mathematicians at length arrived at the
identical solutions which had been given upon the spot by the bees and by the birds.'" {*16}
"'We had scarcely lost sight of this empire when we found ourselves close upon another, from whose
shores there flew over our heads a flock of fowls a mile in breadth, and two hundred and forty miles long;
so that, although they flew a mile during every minute, it required no less than four hours for the whole
flock to pass over us -- in which there were several millions of millions of fowl.'" {*17}
"'No sooner had we got rid of these birds, which occasioned us great annoyance, than we were terrified
by the appearance of a fowl of another kind, and infinitely larger than even the rocs which I met in my
former voyages; for it was bigger than the biggest of the domes on your seraglio, oh, most Munificent of
Caliphs. This terrible fowl had no head that we could perceive, but was fashioned entirely of belly, which
was of a prodigious fatness and roundness, of a soft-looking substance, smooth, shining and striped with
various colors. In its talons, the monster was bearing away to his eyrie in the heavens, a house from
which it had knocked off the roof, and in the interior of which we distinctly saw human beings, who,
beyond doubt, were in a state of frightful despair at the horrible fate which awaited them. We shouted
with all our might, in the hope of frightening the bird into letting go of its prey, but it merely gave a snort
or puff, as if of rage and then let fall upon our heads a heavy sack which proved to be filled with sand!'"
"'It was just after this adventure that we encountered a continent of immense extent and prodigious
solidity, but which, nevertheless, was supported entirely upon the back of a sky-blue cow that had no
fewer than four hundred horns.'" {*18}
"That, now, I believe," said the king, "because I have read something of the kind before, in a book."
"'We passed immediately beneath this continent, (swimming in between the legs of the cow, and, after
some hours, found ourselves in a wonderful country indeed, which, I was informed by the man-animal,
was his own native land, inhabited by things of his own species. This elevated the man-animal very much
in my esteem, and in fact, I now began to feel ashamed of the contemptuous familiarity with which I had
treated him; for I found that the man-animals in general were a nation of the most powerful magicians,
who lived with worms in their brain, {*19} which, no doubt, served to stimulate them by their painful
writhings and wrigglings to the most miraculous efforts of imagination!'"
"'Among the magicians, were domesticated several animals of very singular kinds; for example, there was
a huge horse whose bones were iron and whose blood was boiling water. In place of corn, he had black
stones for his usual food; and yet, in spite of so hard a diet, he was so strong and swift that he would drag
a load more weighty than the grandest temple in this city, at a rate surpassing that of the flight of most
birds.'" {*20}
"'I saw, also, among these people a hen without feathers, but bigger than a camel; instead of flesh and
bone she had iron and brick; her blood, like that of the horse, (to whom, in fact, she was nearly related,)
was boiling water; and like him she ate nothing but wood or black stones. This hen brought forth very
frequently, a hundred chickens in the day; and, after birth, they took up their residence for several weeks
within the stomach of their mother.'" {*21}
"'One of this nation of mighty conjurors created a man out of brass and wood, and leather, and endowed
him with such ingenuity that he would have beaten at chess, all the race of mankind with the exception of
the great Caliph, Haroun Alraschid. {*22} Another of these magi constructed (of like material) a creature
that put to shame even the genius of him who made it; for so great were its reasoning powers that, in a
second, it performed calculations of so vast an extent that they would have required the united labor of
fifty thousand fleshy men for a year. (*23} But a still more wonderful conjuror fashioned for himself a
mighty thing that was neither man nor beast, but which had brains of lead, intermixed with a black
matter like pitch, and fingers that it employed with such incredible speed and dexterity that it would have
had no trouble in writing out twenty thousand copies of the Koran in an hour, and this with so exquisite a
precision, that in all the copies there should not be found one to vary from another by the breadth of the
finest hair. This thing was of prodigious strength, so that it erected or overthrew the mightiest empires at
a breath; but its powers were exercised equally for evil and for good.'"
"'Among this nation of necromancers there was also one who had in his veins the blood of the
salamanders; for he made no scruple of sitting down to smoke his chibouc in a red-hot oven until his
dinner was thoroughly roasted upon its floor. {*24} Another had the faculty of converting the common
metals into gold, without even looking at them during the process. {*25} Another had such a delicacy of
touch that he made a wire so fine as to be invisible. {*26} Another had such quickness of perception that
he counted all the separate motions of an elastic body, while it was springing backward and forward at
the rate of nine hundred millions of times in a second.'" {*27}
"'Another of these magicians, by means of a fluid that nobody ever yet saw, could make the corpses of his
friends brandish their arms, kick out their legs, fight, or even get up and dance at his will. {*28} Another
had cultivated his voice to so great an extent that he could have made himself heard from one end of the
world to the other. {*29} Another had so long an arm that he could sit down in Damascus and indite a
letter at Bagdad -- or indeed at any distance whatsoever. {*30} Another commanded the lightning to
come down to him out of the heavens, and it came at his call; and served him for a plaything when it
came. Another took two loud sounds and out of them made a silence. Another constructed a deep
darkness out of two brilliant lights. {*31} Another made ice in a red-hot furnace. {*32} Another directed
the sun to paint his portrait, and the sun did. {*33} Another took this luminary with the moon and the
planets, and having first weighed them with scrupulous accuracy, probed into their depths and found out
the solidity of the substance of which they were made. But the whole nation is, indeed, of so surprising a
necromantic ability, that not even their infants, nor their commonest cats and dogs have any difficulty in
seeing objects that do not exist at all, or that for twenty millions of years before the birth of the nation
itself had been blotted out from the face of creation."' {*34}
"'The wives and daughters of these incomparably great and wise magi,'" continued Scheherazade, without
being in any manner disturbed by these frequent and most ungentlemanly interruptions on the part of her
husband -- "'the wives and daughters of these eminent conjurers are every thing that is accomplished and
refined; and would be every thing that is interesting and beautiful, but for an unhappy fatality that besets
them, and from which not even the miraculous powers of their husbands and fathers has, hitherto, been
adequate to save. Some fatalities come in certain shapes, and some in others -- but this of which I speak
has come in the shape of a crotchet.'"
"'A crotchet'" said Scheherazade. "'One of the evil genii, who are perpetually upon the watch to inflict ill,
has put it into the heads of these accomplished ladies that the thing which we describe as personal
beauty consists altogether in the protuberance of the region which lies not very far below the small of the
back. Perfection of loveliness, they say, is in the direct ratio of the extent of this lump. Having been long
possessed of this idea, and bolsters being cheap in that country, the days have long gone by since it was
possible to distinguish a woman from a dromedary-'"
"Stop!" said the king -- "I can't stand that, and I won't. You have already given me a dreadful headache
with your lies. The day, too, I perceive, is beginning to break. How long have we been married? -- my
conscience is getting to be troublesome again. And then that dromedary touch -- do you take me for a
fool? Upon the whole, you might as well get up and be throttled."
These words, as I learn from the "Isitsoornot," both grieved and astonished Scheherazade; but, as she
knew the king to be a man of scrupulous integrity, and quite unlikely to forfeit his word, she submitted to
her fate with a good grace. She derived, however, great consolation, (during the tightening of the
bowstring,) from the reflection that much of the history remained still untold, and that the petulance of
her brute of a husband had reaped for him a most righteous reward, in depriving him of many
inconceivable adventures.
NOTES:
{*1} The coralites.
{*2} "One of the most remarkable natural curiosities in Texas is a petrified forest, near the head of
Pasigno river. It consists of several hundred trees, in an erect position, all turned to stone. Some trees,
now growing, are partly petrified. This is a startling fact for natural philosophers, and must cause them to
modify the existing theory of petrification. -- Kennedy.
This account, at first discredited, has since been corroborated by the discovery of a completely petrified
forest, near the head waters of the Cheyenne, or Chienne river, which has its source in the Black Hills of
the rocky chain.
There is scarcely, perhaps, a spectacle on the surface of the globe more remarkable, either in a geological
or picturesque point of view than that presented by the petrified forest, near Cairo. The traveller, having
passed the tombs of the caliphs, just beyond the gates of the city, proceeds to the southward, nearly at
right angles to the road across the desert to Suez, and after having travelled some ten miles up a low
barren valley, covered with sand, gravel, and sea shells, fresh as if the tide had retired but yesterday,
crosses a low range of sandhills, which has for some distance run parallel to his path. The scene now
presented to him is beyond conception singular and desolate. A mass of fragments of trees, all converted
into stone, and when struck by his horse's hoof ringing like cast iron, is seen to extend itself for miles and
miles around him, in the form of a decayed and prostrate forest. The wood is of a dark brown hue, but
retains its form in perfection, the pieces being from one to fifteen feet in length, and from half a foot to
three feet in thickness, strewed so closely together, as far as the eye can reach, that an Egyptian donkey
can scarcely thread its way through amongst them, and so natural that, were it in Scotland or Ireland, it
might pass without remark for some enormous drained bog, on which the exhumed trees lay rotting in the
sun. The roots and rudiments of the branches are, in many cases, nearly perfect, and in some the worm-
holes eaten under the bark are readily recognizable. The most delicate of the sap vessels, and all the finer
portions of the centre of the wood, are perfectly entire, and bear to be examined with the strongest
magnifiers. The whole are so thoroughly silicified as to scratch glass and are capable of receiving the
highest polish.-- Asiatic Magazine.
{*5} "During the eruption of Hecla, in 1766, clouds of this kind produced such a degree of darkness that,
at Glaumba, which is more than fifty leagues from the mountain, people could only find their way by
groping. During the eruption of Vesuvius, in 1794, at Caserta, four leagues distant, people could only walk
by the light of torches. On the first of May, 1812, a cloud of volcanic ashes and sand, coming from a
volcano in the island of St. Vincent, covered the whole of Barbadoes, spreading over it so intense a
darkness that, at mid-day, in the open air, one could not perceive the trees or other objects near him, or
even a white handkerchief placed at the distance of six inches from the eye." -- Murray, p. 215, Phil. edit.
{*6} In the year 1790, in the Caraccas during an earthquake a portion of the granite soil sank and left a
lake eight hundred yards in diameter, and from eighty to a hundred feet deep. It was a part of the forest
of Aripao which sank, and the trees remained green for several months under the water." -- Murray, p.
221
{*7} The hardest steel ever manufactured may, under the action of a blowpipe, be reduced to an
impalpable powder, which will float readily in the atmospheric air.
{*9} The Myrmeleon-lion-ant. The term "monster" is equally applicable to small abnormal things and to
great, while such epithets as "vast" are merely comparative. The cavern of the myrmeleon is vast in
comparison with the hole of the common red ant. A grain of silex is also a "rock."
{*10} The Epidendron, Flos Aeris, of the family of the Orchideae, grows with merely the surface of its
roots attached to a tree or other object, from which it derives no nutriment -- subsisting altogether upon
air.
{*12} Schouw advocates a class of plants that grow upon living animals -- the Plantae Epizoae. Of this
class are the Fuci and Algae.
Mr. J. B. Williams, of Salem, Mass., presented the "National Institute" with an insect from New Zealand,
with the following description: " 'The Hotte, a decided caterpillar, or worm, is found gnawing at the root
of the Rota tree, with a plant growing out of its head. This most peculiar and extraordinary insect travels
up both the Rota and Ferriri trees, and entering into the top, eats its way, perforating the trunk of the
trees until it reaches the root, and dies, or remains dormant, and the plant propagates out of its head; the
body remains perfect and entire, of a harder substance than when alive. From this insect the natives
make a coloring for tattooing.
{*13} In mines and natural caves we find a species of cryptogamous fungus that emits an intense
phosphorescence.
{*15} The corolla of this flower (Aristolochia Clematitis), which is tubular, but terminating upwards in a
ligulate limb, is inflated into a globular figure at the base. The tubular part is internally beset with stiff
hairs, pointing downwards. The globular part contains the pistil, which consists merely of a germen and
stigma, together with the surrounding stamens. But the stamens, being shorter than the germen, cannot
discharge the pollen so as to throw it upon the stigma, as the flower stands always upright till after
impregnation. And hence, without some additional and peculiar aid, the pollen must necessarily fan down
to the bottom of the flower. Now, the aid that nature has furnished in this case, is that of the Tiputa
Pennicornis, a small insect, which entering the tube of the corrolla in quest of honey, descends to the
bottom, and rummages about till it becomes quite covered with pollen; but not being able to force its way
out again, owing to the downward position of the hairs, which converge to a point like the wires of a
mouse-trap, and being somewhat impatient of its confinement it brushes backwards and forwards, trying
every corner, till, after repeatedly traversing the stigma, it covers it with pollen sufficient for its
impregnation, in consequence of which the flower soon begins to droop, and the hairs to shrink to the
sides of the tube, effecting an easy passage for the escape of the insect." --Rev. P. Keith-System of
Physiological Botany.
{*16} The bees -- ever since bees were -- have been constructing their cells with just such sides, in just
such number, and at just such inclinations, as it has been demonstrated (in a problem involving the
profoundest mathematical principles) are the very sides, in the very number, and at the very angles,
which will afford the creatures the most room that is compatible with the greatest stability of structure.
During the latter part of the last century, the question arose among mathematicians--"to determine the
best form that can be given to the sails of a windmill, according to their varying distances from the
revolving vanes, and likewise from the centres of the revoloution." This is an excessively complex
problem, for it is, in other words, to find the best possible position at an infinity of varied distances and at
an infinity of points on the arm. There were a thousand futile attempts to answer the query on the part of
the most illustrious mathematicians, and when at length, an undeniable solution was discovered, men
found that the wings of a bird had given it with absolute precision ever since the first bird had traversed
the air.
{*17} He observed a flock of pigeons passing betwixt Frankfort and the Indian territory, one mile at least
in breadth; it took up four hours in passing, which, at the rate of one mile per minute, gives a length of
240 miles; and, supposing three pigeons to each square yard, gives 2,230,272,000 Pigeons. -- "Travels in
Canada and the United States," by Lieut. F. Hall.
{*18} The earth is upheld by a cow of a blue color, having horns four hundred in number." -- Sale's Koran.
{*19} "The Entozoa, or intestinal worms, have repeatedly been observed in the muscles, and in the
cerebral substance of men." -- See Wyatt's Physiology, p. 143.
{*20} On the Great Western Railway, between London and Exeter, a speed of 71 miles per hour has been
attained. A train weighing 90 tons was whirled from Paddington to Didcot (53 miles) in 51 minutes.
{*26} Wollaston made of platinum for the field of views in a telescope a wire one eighteen-thousandth
part of an inch in thickness. It could be seen only by means of the microscope.
{*27} Newton demonstrated that the retina beneath the influence of the violet ray of the spectrum,
vibrated 900,000,000 of times in a second.
{*30} The Electro telegraph transmits intelligence instantaneously- at least at so far as regards any
distance upon the earth.
{*31} Common experiments in Natural Philosophy. If two red rays from two luminous points be admitted
into a dark chamber so as to fall on a white surface, and differ in their length by 0.0000258 of an inch,
their intensity is doubled. So also if the difference in length be any whole-number multiple of that
fraction. A multiple by 2 1/4, 3 1/4, &c., gives an intensity equal to one ray only; but a multiple by 2 1/2, 3
1/2, &c., gives the result of total darkness. In violet rays similar effects arise when the difference in
length is 0.000157 of an inch; and with all other rays the results are the same -- the difference varying
with a uniform increase from the violet to the red.
{*32} Place a platina crucible over a spirit lamp, and keep it a red heat; pour in some sulphuric acid,
which, though the most volatile of bodies at a common temperature, will be found to become completely
fixed in a hot crucible, and not a drop evaporates -- being surrounded by an atmosphere of its own, it does
not, in fact, touch the sides. A few drops of water are now introduced, when the acid, immediately coming
in contact with the heated sides of the crucible, flies off in sulphurous acid vapor, and so rapid is its
progress, that the caloric of the water passes off with it, which falls a lump of ice to the bottom; by taking
advantage of the moment before it is allowed to remelt, it may be turned out a lump of ice from a red-hot
vessel.
{*34) Although light travels 167,000 miles in a second, the distance of 61 Cygni (the only star whose
distance is ascertained) is so inconceivably great, that its rays would require more than ten years to reach
the earth. For stars beyond this, 20 -- or even 1000 years -- would be a moderate estimate. Thus, if they
had been annihilated 20, or 1000 years ago, we might still see them to-day by the light which started from
their surfaces 20 or 1000 years in the past time. That many which we see daily are really extinct, is not
impossible -- not even improbable.
THREE SUNDAYS IN A WEEK
YOU hard-headed, dunder-headed, obstinate, rusty, crusty, musty, fusty, old savage!" said I, in fancy, one
afternoon, to my grand uncle Rumgudgeon -- shaking my fist at him in imagination.
Only in imagination. The fact is, some trivial discrepancy did exist, just then, between what I said and
what I had not the courag e to say -- between what I did and what I had half a mind to do.
The old porpoise, as I opened the drawing-room door, was sitting with his feet upon the mantel-piece, and
a bumper of port in his paw, making strenuous efforts to accomplish the ditty.
"My dear uncle," said I, closing the door gently, and approaching him with the blandest of smiles, "you are
always so very kind and considerate, and have evinced your benevolence in so many -- so very many ways
-- that -- that I feel I have only to suggest this little point to you once more to make sure of your full
acquiescence."
"I am sure, my dearest uncle [you confounded old rascal!], that you have no design really, seriously, to
oppose my union with Kate. This is merely a joke of yours, I know -- ha! ha! ha! -- how very pleasant you
are at times."
"To be sure -- of course! I knew you were jesting. Now, uncle, all that Kate and myself wish at present, is
that you would oblige us with your advice as -- as regards the time -- you know, uncle -- in short, when will
it be most convenient for yourself, that the wedding shall -- shall come off, you know?"
"Come off, you scoundrel! -- what do you mean by that? -- Better wait till it goes on."
"Ha! ha! ha! -- he! he! he! -- hi! hi! hi! -- ho! ho! ho! -- hu! hu! hu!- that's good! -- oh that's capital -- such a
wit! But all we want just now, you know, uncle, is that you would indicate the time precisely."
"Ah! -- precisely?"
"Wouldn't it answer, Bobby, if I were to leave it at random -- some time within a year or so, for example? --
must I say precisely?"
"Well, then, Bobby, my boy -- you're a fine fellow, aren't you? -- since you will have the exact time I'll --
why I'll oblige you for once:"
"Dear uncle!"
"Hush, sir!" [drowning my voice] -- I'll oblige you for once. You shall have my consent -- and the plum, we
mus'n't forget the plum -- let me see! when shall it be? To-day's Sunday -- isn't it? Well, then, you shall be
married precisely -- precisely, now mind! -- when three Sundays come together in a week! Do you hear
me, sir! What are you gaping at? I say, you shall have Kate and her plum when three Sundays come
together in a week -- but not till then -- you young scapegrace -- not till then, if I die for it. You know me --
I'm a man of my word -- now be off!" Here he swallowed his bumper of port, while I rushed from the room
in despair.
A very "fine old English gentleman," was my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon, but unlike him of the song, he had
his weak points. He was a little, pursy, pompous, passionate semicircular somebody, with a red nose, a
thick scull, [sic] a long purse, and a strong sense of his own consequence. With the best heart in the
world, he contrived, through a predominant whim of contradiction, to earn for himself, among those who
only knew him superficially, the character of a curmudgeon. Like many excellent people, he seemed
possessed with a spirit of tantalization, which might easily, at a casual glance, have been mistaken for
malevolence. To every request, a positive "No!" was his immediate answer, but in the end -- in the long,
long end -- there were exceedingly few requests which he refused. Against all attacks upon his purse he
made the most sturdy defence; but the amount extorted from him, at last, was generally in direct ratio
with the length of the siege and the stubbornness of the resistance. In charity no one gave more liberally
or with a worse grace.
For the fine arts, and especially for the belles-lettres, he entertained a profound contempt. With this he
had been inspired by Casimir Perier, whose pert little query "A quoi un poete est il bon?" he was in the
habit of quoting, with a very droll pronunciation, as the ne plus ultra of logical wit. Thus my own inkling
for the Muses had excited his entire displeasure. He assured me one day, when I asked him for a new
copy of Horace, that the translation of "Poeta nascitur non fit" was "a nasty poet for nothing fit" -- a
remark which I took in high dudgeon. His repugnance to "the humanities" had, also, much increased of
late, by an accidental bias in favor of what he supposed to be natural science. Somebody had accosted
him in the street, mistaking him for no less a personage than Doctor Dubble L. Dee, the lecturer upon
quack physics. This set him off at a tangent; and just at the epoch of this story -- for story it is getting to
be after all -- my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon was accessible and pacific only upon points which happened
to chime in with the caprioles of the hobby he was riding. For the rest, he laughed with his arms and legs,
and his politics were stubborn and easily understood. He thought, with Horsley, that "the people have
nothing to do with the laws but to obey them."
I had lived with the old gentleman all my life. My parents, in dying, had bequeathed me to him as a rich
legacy. I believe the old villain loved me as his own child -- nearly if not quite as well as he loved Kate --
but it was a dog's existence that he led me, after all. From my first year until my fifth, he obliged me with
very regular floggings. From five to fifteen, he threatened me, hourly, with the House of Correction. From
fifteen to twenty, not a day passed in which he did not promise to cut me off with a shilling. I was a sad
dog, it is true -- but then it was a part of my nature -- a point of my faith. In Kate, however, I had a firm
friend, and I knew it. She was a good girl, and told me very sweetly that I might have her (plum and all)
whenever I could badger my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon, into the necessary consent. Poor girl! -- she was
barely fifteen, and without this consent, her little amount in the funds was not come-at-able until five
immeasurable summers had "dragged their slow length along." What, then, to do? At fifteen, or even at
twenty-one [for I had now passed my fifth olympiad] five years in prospect are very much the same as five
hundred. In vain we besieged the old gentleman with importunities. Here was a piece de resistance (as
Messieurs Ude and Careme would say) which suited his perverse fancy to a T. It would have stiffed the
indignation of Job himself, to see how much like an old mouser he behaved to us two poor wretched little
mice. In his heart he wished for nothing more ardently than our union. He had made up his mind to this
all along. In fact, he would have given ten thousand pounds from his own pocket (Kate's plum was her
own) if he could have invented any thing like an excuse for complying with our very natural wishes. But
then we had been so imprudent as to broach the subject ourselves. Not to oppose it under such
circumstances, I sincerely believe, was not in his power.
I have said already that he had his weak points; but in speaking of these, I must not be understood as
referring to his obstinacy: which was one of his strong points -- "assurement ce n' etait pas sa foible."
When I mention his weakness I have allusion to a bizarre old-womanish superstition which beset him. He
was great in dreams, portents, et id genus omne of rigmarole. He was excessively punctilious, too, upon
small points of honor, and, after his own fashion, was a man of his word, beyond doubt. This was, in fact,
one of his hobbies. The spirit of his vows he made no scruple of setting at naught, but the letter was a
bond inviolable. Now it was this latter peculiarity in his disposition, of which Kates ingenuity enabled us
one fine day, not long after our interview in the dining-room, to take a very unexpected advantage, and,
having thus, in the fashion of all modern bards and orators, exhausted in prolegomena, all the time at my
command, and nearly all the room at my disposal, I will sum up in a few words what constitutes the whole
pith of the story.
It happened then -- so the Fates ordered it -- that among the naval acquaintances of my betrothed, were
two gentlemen who had just set foot upon the shores of England, after a year's absence, each, in foreign
travel. In company with these gentlemen, my cousin and I, preconcertedly paid uncle Rumgudgeon a visit
on the afternoon of Sunday, October the tenth, -- just three weeks after the memorable decision which
had so cruelly defeated our hopes. For about half an hour the conversation ran upon ordinary topics, but
at last, we contrived, quite naturally, to give it the following turn:
CAPT. PRATT. "Well I have been absent just one year. -- Just one year to-day, as I live -- let me see! yes! --
this is October the tenth. You remember, Mr. Rumgudgeon, I called, this day year to bid you good-bye.
And by the way, it does seem something like a coincidence, does it not -- that our friend, Captain
Smitherton, here, has been absent exactly a year also -- a year to-day!"
SMITHERTON. "Yes! just one year to a fraction. You will remember, Mr. Rumgudgeon, that I called with
Capt. Pratol on this very day, last year, to pay my parting respects."
UNCLE. "Yes, yes, yes -- I remember it very well -- very queer indeed! Both of you gone just one year. A
very strange coincidence, indeed! Just what Doctor Dubble L. Dee would denominate an extraordinary
concurrence of events. Doctor Dub-"
KATE. [Interrupting.] "To be sure, papa, it is something strange; but then Captain Pratt and Captain
Smitherton didn't go altogether the same route, and that makes a difference, you know."
UNCLE. "I don't know any such thing, you huzzy! How should I? I think it only makes the matter more
remarkable, Doctor Dubble L. Dee-
KATE. Why, papa, Captain Pratt went round Cape Horn, and Captain Smitherton doubled the Cape of
Good Hope."
UNCLE. "Precisely! -- the one went east and the other went west, you jade, and they both have gone quite
round the world. By the by, Doctor Dubble L. Dee-
MYSELF. [Hurriedly.] "Captain Pratt, you must come and spend the evening with us to-morrow -- you and
Smitherton -- you can tell us all about your voyage, and well have a game of whist and-
PRATT. "Wist, my dear fellow -- you forget. To-morrow will be Sunday. Some other evening-
KATE. "Oh, no. fie! -- Robert's not quite so bad as that. To-day's Sunday."
PRATT. "I beg both your pardons -- but I can't be so much mistaken. I know to-morrow's Sunday, because-"
SMITHERTON. [Much surprised.] "What are you all thinking about? Wasn't yesterday, Sunday, I should
like to know?"
SMITHERTON. "You are all mad -- every one of you. I am as positive that yesterday was Sunday as I am
that I sit upon this chair."
KATE. [jumping up eagerly.] "I see it -- I see it all. Papa, this is a judgment upon you, about -- about you
know what. Let me alone, and I'll explain it all in a minute. It's a very simple thing, indeed. Captain
Smitherton says that yesterday was Sunday: so it was; he is right. Cousin Bobby, and uncle and I say that
to-day is Sunday: so it is; we are right. Captain Pratt maintains that to-morrow will be Sunday: so it will;
he is right, too. The fact is, we are all right, and thus three Sundays have come together in a week."
SMITHERTON. [After a pause.] "By the by, Pratt, Kate has us completely. What fools we two are! Mr.
Rumgudgeon, the matter stands thus: the earth, you know, is twenty-four thousand miles in
circumference. Now this globe of the earth turns upon its own axis- revolves -- spins round -- these
twenty-four thousand miles of extent, going from west to east, in precisely twenty-four hours. Do you
understand Mr. Rumgudgeon?-"
SMITHERTON. [Drowning his voice.] "Well, sir; that is at the rate of one thousand miles per hour. Now,
suppose that I sail from this position a thousand miles east. Of course I anticipate the rising of the sun
here at London by just one hour. I see the sun rise one hour before you do. Proceeding, in the same
direction, yet another thousand miles, I anticipate the rising by two hours -- another thousand, and I
anticipate it by three hours, and so on, until I go entirely round the globe, and back to this spot, when,
having gone twenty-four thousand miles east, I anticipate the rising of the London sun by no less than
twenty-four hours; that is to say, I am a day in advance of your time. Understand, eh?"
SMITHERTON. [Speaking very loud.] "Captain Pratt, on the contrary, when he had sailed a thousand
miles west of this position, was an hour, and when he had sailed twenty-four thousand miles west, was
twenty-four hours, or one day, behind the time at London. Thus, with me, yesterday was Sunday -- thus,
with you, to-day is Sunday -- and thus, with Pratt, to-morrow will be Sunday. And what is more, Mr.
Rumgudgeon, it is positively clear that we are all right; for there can be no philosophical reason assigned
why the idea of one of us should have preference over that of the other."
UNCLE. "My eyes! -- well, Kate -- well, Bobby! -- this is a judgment upon me, as you say. But I am a man of
my word -- mark that! you shall have her, boy, (plum and all), when you please. Done up, by Jove! Three
Sundays all in a row! I'll go, and take Dubble L. Dee's opinion upon that."
THE UNPARALLELED ADVENTURES OF ONE HANS PFAAL {*1}
BY late accounts from Rotterdam, that city seems to be in a high state of philosophical excitement.
Indeed, phenomena have there occurred of a nature so completely unexpected -- so entirely novel -- so
utterly at variance with preconceived opinions -- as to leave no doubt on my mind that long ere this all
Europe is in an uproar, all physics in a ferment , all reason and astronomy together by the ears.
It appears that on the -- -- day of -- -- (I am not positive about the date), a vast crowd of people, for
purposes not specifically mentioned, were assembled in the great square of the Exchange in the well-
conditioned city of Rotterdam. The day was warm -- unusually so for the season -- there was hardly a
breath of air stirring; and the multitude were in no bad humor at being now and then besprinkled with
friendly showers of momentary duration, that fell from large white masses of cloud which chequered in a
fitful manner the blue vault of the firmament. Nevertheless, about noon, a slight but remarkable agitation
became apparent in the assembly: the clattering of ten thousand tongues succeeded; and, in an instant
afterward, ten thousand faces were upturned toward the heavens, ten thousand pipes descended
simultaneously from the corners of ten thousand mouths, and a shout, which could be compared to
nothing but the roaring of Niagara, resounded long, loudly, and furiously, through all the environs of
Rotterdam.
The origin of this hubbub soon became sufficiently evident. From behind the huge bulk of one of those
sharply-defined masses of cloud already mentioned, was seen slowly to emerge into an open area of blue
space, a queer, heterogeneous, but apparently solid substance, so oddly shaped, so whimsically put
together, as not to be in any manner comprehended, and never to be sufficiently admired, by the host of
sturdy burghers who stood open-mouthed below. What could it be? In the name of all the vrows and devils
in Rotterdam, what could it possibly portend? No one knew, no one could imagine; no one -- not even the
burgomaster Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk -- had the slightest clew by which to unravel the mystery;
so, as nothing more reasonable could be done, every one to a man replaced his pipe carefully in the
corner of his mouth, and cocking up his right eye towards the phenomenon, puffed, paused, waddled
about, and grunted significantly -- then waddled back, grunted, paused, and finally -- puffed again.
In the meantime, however, lower and still lower toward the goodly city, came the object of so much
curiosity, and the cause of so much smoke. In a very few minutes it arrived near enough to be accurately
discerned. It appeared to be -- yes! it was undoubtedly a species of balloon; but surely no such balloon
had ever been seen in Rotterdam before. For who, let me ask, ever heard of a balloon manufactured
entirely of dirty newspapers? No man in Holland certainly; yet here, under the very noses of the people,
or rather at some distance above their noses was the identical thing in question, and composed, I have it
on the best authority, of the precise material which no one had ever before known to be used for a similar
purpose. It was an egregious insult to the good sense of the burghers of Rotterdam. As to the shape of the
phenomenon, it was even still more reprehensible. Being little or nothing better than a huge foolscap
turned upside down. And this similitude was regarded as by no means lessened when, upon nearer
inspection, there was perceived a large tassel depending from its apex, and, around the upper rim or base
of the cone, a circle of little instruments, resembling sheep-bells, which kept up a continual tinkling to the
tune of Betty Martin. But still worse. Suspended by blue ribbons to the end of this fantastic machine,
there hung, by way of car, an enormous drab beaver bat, with a brim superlatively broad, and a
hemispherical crown with a black band and a silver buckle. It is, however, somewhat remarkable that
many citizens of Rotterdam swore to having seen the same hat repeatedly before; and indeed the whole
assembly seemed to regard it with eyes of familiarity; while the vrow Grettel Pfaall, upon sight of it,
uttered an exclamation of joyful surprise, and declared it to be the identical hat of her good man himself.
Now this was a circumstance the more to be observed, as Pfaall, with three companions, had actually
disappeared from Rotterdam about five years before, in a very sudden and unaccountable manner, and up
to the date of this narrative all attempts had failed of obtaining any intelligence concerning them
whatsoever. To be sure, some bones which were thought to be human, mixed up with a quantity of odd-
looking rubbish, had been lately discovered in a retired situation to the east of Rotterdam, and some
people went so far as to imagine that in this spot a foul murder had been committed, and that the
sufferers were in all probability Hans Pfaall and his associates. But to return.
The balloon (for such no doubt it was) had now descended to within a hundred feet of the earth, allowing
the crowd below a sufficiently distinct view of the person of its occupant. This was in truth a very droll
little somebody. He could not have been more than two feet in height; but this altitude, little as it was,
would have been sufficient to destroy his equilibrium, and tilt him over the edge of his tiny car, but for the
intervention of a circular rim reaching as high as the breast, and rigged on to the cords of the balloon.
The body of the little man was more than proportionately broad, giving to his entire figure a rotundity
highly absurd. His feet, of course, could not be seen at all, although a horny substance of suspicious
nature was occasionally protruded through a rent in the bottom of the car, or to speak more properly, in
the top of the hat. His hands were enormously large. His hair was extremely gray, and collected in a cue
behind. His nose was prodigiously long, crooked, and inflammatory; his eyes full, brilliant, and acute; his
chin and cheeks, although wrinkled with age, were broad, puffy, and double; but of ears of any kind or
character there was not a semblance to be discovered upon any portion of his head. This odd little
gentleman was dressed in a loose surtout of sky-blue satin, with tight breeches to match, fastened with
silver buckles at the knees. His vest was of some bright yellow material; a white taffety cap was set
jauntily on one side of his head; and, to complete his equipment, a blood-red silk handkerchief enveloped
his throat, and fell down, in a dainty manner, upon his bosom, in a fantastic bow-knot of super-eminent
dimensions.
Having descended, as I said before, to about one hundred feet from the surface of the earth, the little old
gentleman was suddenly seized with a fit of trepidation, and appeared disinclined to make any nearer
approach to terra firma. Throwing out, therefore, a quantity of sand from a canvas bag, which, he lifted
with great difficulty, he became stationary in an instant. He then proceeded, in a hurried and agitated
manner, to extract from a side-pocket in his surtout a large morocco pocket-book. This he poised
suspiciously in his hand, then eyed it with an air of extreme surprise, and was evidently astonished at its
weight. He at length opened it, and drawing there from a huge letter sealed with red sealing-wax and tied
carefully with red tape, let it fall precisely at the feet of the burgomaster, Superbus Von Underduk. His
Excellency stooped to take it up. But the aeronaut, still greatly discomposed, and having apparently no
farther business to detain him in Rotterdam, began at this moment to make busy preparations for
departure; and it being necessary to discharge a portion of ballast to enable him to reascend, the half
dozen bags which he threw out, one after another, without taking the trouble to empty their contents,
tumbled, every one of them, most unfortunately upon the back of the burgomaster, and rolled him over
and over no less than one-and-twenty times, in the face of every man in Rotterdam. It is not to be
supposed, however, that the great Underduk suffered this impertinence on the part of the little old man to
pass off with impunity. It is said, on the contrary, that during each and every one of his one-and twenty
circumvolutions he emitted no less than one-and-twenty distinct and furious whiffs from his pipe, to which
he held fast the whole time with all his might, and to which he intends holding fast until the day of his
death.
In the meantime the balloon arose like a lark, and, soaring far away above the city, at length drifted
quietly behind a cloud similar to that from which it had so oddly emerged, and was thus lost forever to the
wondering eyes of the good citiezns of Rotterdam. All attention was now directed to the letter, the
descent of which, and the consequences attending thereupon, had proved so fatally subversive of both
person and personal dignity to his Excellency, the illustrious Burgomaster Mynheer Superbus Von
Underduk. That functionary, however, had not failed, during his circumgyratory movements, to bestow a
thought upon the important subject of securing the packet in question, which was seen, upon inspection,
to have fallen into the most proper hands, being actually addressed to himself and Professor Rub-a-dub, in
their official capacities of President andVice-President of the Rotterdam College of Astronomy. It was
accordingly opened by those dignitaries upon the spot, and found to contain the following extraordinary,
and indeed very serious, communications.
To their Excellencies Von Underduk and Rub-a-dub, President and Vice-President of the States' College of
Astronomers, in the city of Rotterdam.
"Your Excellencies may perhaps be able to remember an humble artizan, by name Hans Pfaall, and by
occupation a mender of bellows, who, with three others, disappeared from Rotterdam, about five years
ago, in a manner which must have been considered by all parties at once sudden, and extremely
unaccountable. If, however, it so please your Excellencies, I, the writer of this communication, am the
identical Hans Pfaall himself. It is well known to most of my fellow citizens, that for the period of forty
years I continued to occupy the little square brick building, at the head of the alley called Sauerkraut, in
which I resided at the time of my disappearance. My ancestors have also resided therein time out of mind
-- they, as well as myself, steadily following the respectable and indeed lucrative profession of mending of
bellows. For, to speak the truth, until of late years, that the heads of all the people have been set agog
with politics, no better business than my own could an honest citizen of Rotterdam either desire or
deserve. Credit was good, employment was never wanting, and on all hands there was no lack of either
money or good-will. But, as I was saying, we soon began to feel the effects of liberty and long speeches,
and radicalism, and all that sort of thing. People who were formerly, the very best customers in the world,
had now not a moment of time to think of us at all. They had, so they said, as much as they could do to
read about the revolutions, and keep up with the march of intellect and the spirit of the age. If a fire
wanted fanning, it could readily be fanned with a newspaper, and as the government grew weaker, I have
no doubt that leather and iron acquired durability in proportion, for, in a very short time, there was not a
pair of bellows in all Rotterdam that ever stood in need of a stitch or required the assistance of a hammer.
This was a state of things not to be endured. I soon grew as poor as a rat, and, having a wife and children
to provide for, my burdens at length became intolerable, and I spent hour after hour in reflecting upon the
most convenient method of putting an end to my life. Duns, in the meantime, left me little leisure for
contemplation. My house was literally besieged from morning till night, so that I began to rave, and foam,
and fret like a caged tiger against the bars of his enclosure. There were three fellows in particular who
worried me beyond endurance, keeping watch continually about my door, and threatening me with the
law. Upon these three I internally vowed the bitterest revenge, if ever I should be so happy as to get them
within my clutches; and I believe nothing in the world but the pleasure of this anticipation prevented me
from putting my plan of suicide into immediate execution, by blowing my brains out with a blunderbuss. I
thought it best, however, to dissemble my wrath, and to treat them with promises and fair words, until, by
some good turn of fate, an opportunity of vengeance should be afforded me.
"One day, having given my creditors the slip, and feeling more than usually dejected, I continued for a
long time to wander about the most obscure streets without object whatever, until at length I chanced to
stumble against the corner of a bookseller's stall. Seeing a chair close at hand, for the use of customers, I
threw myself doggedly into it, and, hardly knowing why, opened the pages of the first volume which came
within my reach. It proved to be a small pamphlet treatise on Speculative Astronomy, written either by
Professor Encke of Berlin or by a Frenchman of somewhat similar name. I had some little tincture of
information on matters of this nature, and soon became more and more absorbed in the contents of the
book, reading it actually through twice before I awoke to a recollection of what was passing around me.
By this time it began to grow dark, and I directed my steps toward home. But the treatise had made an
indelible impression on my mind, and, as I sauntered along the dusky streets, I revolved carefully over in
my memory the wild and sometimes unintelligible reasonings of the writer. There are some particular
passages which affected my imagination in a powerful andextraordinary manner. The longer I meditated
upon these the more intense grew the interest which had been excited within me. The limited nature of
my education in general, and more especially my ignorance on subjects connected with natural
philosophy, so far from rendering me diffident of my own ability to comprehend what I had read, or
inducing me to mistrust the many vague notions which had arisen in consequence, merely served as a
farther stimulus to imagination; and I was vain enough, or perhaps reasonable enough, to doubt whether
those crude ideas which, arising in ill-regulated minds, have all the appearance, may not often in effect
possess all the force, the reality, and other inherent properties, of instinct or intuition; whether, to
proceed a step farther, profundity itself might not, in matters of a purely speculative nature, be detected
as a legitimate source of falsity and error. In other words, I believed, and still do believe, that truth, is
frequently of its own essence, superficial, and that, in many cases, the depth lies more in the abysses
where we seek her, than in the actual situations wherein she may be found. Nature herself seemed to
afford me corroboration of these ideas. In the contemplation of the heavenly bodies it struck me forcibly
that I could not distinguish a star with nearly as much precision, when I gazed on it with earnest, direct
and undeviating attention, as when I suffered my eye only to glance in its vicinity alone. I was not, of
course, at that time aware that this apparent paradox was occasioned by the center of the visual area
being less susceptible of feeble impressions of light than the exterior portions of the retina. This
knowledge, and some of another kind, came afterwards in the course of an eventful five years, during
which I have dropped the prejudices of my former humble situation in life, and forgotten the bellows-
mender in far different occupations. But at the epoch of which I speak, the analogy which a casual
observation of a star offered to the conclusions I had already drawn, struck me with the force of positive
conformation, and I then finally made up my mind to the course which I afterwards pursued.
"It was late when I reached home, and I went immediately to bed. My mind, however, was too much
occupied to sleep, and I lay the whole night buried in meditation. Arising early in the morning, and
contriving again to escape the vigilance of my creditors, I repaired eagerly to the bookseller's stall, and
laid out what little ready money I possessed, in the purchase of some volumes of Mechanics and Practical
Astronomy. Having arrived at home safely with these, I devoted every spare moment to their perusal, and
soon made such proficiency in studies of this nature as I thought sufficient for the execution of my plan.
In the intervals of this period, I made every endeavor to conciliate the three creditors who had given me
so much annoyance. In this I finally succeeded -- partly by selling enough of my household furniture to
satisfy a moiety of their claim, and partly by a promise of paying the balance upon completion of a little
project which I told them I had in view, and for assistance in which I solicited their services. By these
means -- for they were ignorant men -- I found little difficulty in gaining them over to my purpose.
"Matters being thus arranged, I contrived, by the aid of my wife and with the greatest secrecy and
caution, to dispose of what property I had remaining, and to borrow, in small sums, under various
pretences, and without paying any attention to my future means of repayment, no inconsiderable quantity
of ready money. With the means thus accruing I proceeded to procure at intervals, cambric muslin, very
fine, in pieces of twelve yards each; twine; a lot of the varnish of caoutchouc; a large and deep basket of
wicker-work, made to order; and several other articles necessary in the construction and equipment of a
balloon of extraordinary dimensions. This I directed my wife to make up as soon as possible, and gave her
all requisite information as to the particular method of proceeding. In the meantime I worked up the
twine into a net-work of sufficient dimensions; rigged it with a hoop and the necessary cords; bought a
quadrant, a compass, a spy-glass, a common barometer with some important modifications, and two
astronomical instruments not so generally known. I then took opportunities of conveying by night, to a
retired situation east of Rotterdam, five iron-bound casks, to contain about fifty gallons each, and one of a
larger size; six tinned ware tubes, three inches in diameter, properly shaped, and ten feet in length; a
quantity of a particular metallic substance, or semi-metal, which I shall not name, and a dozen demijohns
of a very common acid. The gas to be formed from these latter materials is a gas never yet generated by
any other person than myself -- or at least never applied to any similar purpose. The secret I would make
no difficulty in disclosing, but that it of right belongs to a citizen of Nantz, in France, by whom it was
conditionallycommunicated to myself. The same individual submitted to me, without being at all aware
of my intentions, a method of constructing balloons from the membrane of a certain animal, through
which substance any escape of gas was nearly an impossibility. I found it, however, altogether too
expensive, and was not sure, upon the whole, whether cambric muslin with a coating of gum caoutchouc,
was not equally as good. I mention this circumstance, because I think it probable that hereafter the
individual in question may attempt a balloon ascension with the novel gas and material I have spoken of,
and I do not wish to deprive him of the honor of a very singular invention.
"On the spot which I intended each of the smaller casks to occupy respectively during the inflation of the
balloon, I privately dug a hole two feet deep; the holes forming in this manner a circle twenty-five feet in
diameter. In the centre of this circle, being the station designed for the large cask, I also dug a hole three
feet in depth. In each of the five smaller holes, I deposited a canister containing fifty pounds, and in the
larger one a keg holding one hundred and fifty pounds, of cannon powder. These -- the keg and canisters -
- I connected in a proper manner with covered trains; and having let into one of the canisters the end of
about four feet of slow match, I covered up the hole, and placed the cask over it, leaving the other end of
the match protruding about an inch, and barely visible beyond the cask. I then filled up the remaining
holes, and placed the barrels over them in their destined situation.
"Besides the articles above enumerated, I conveyed to the depot, and there secreted, one of M. Grimm's
improvements upon the apparatus for condensation of the atmospheric air. I found this machine, however,
to require considerable alteration before it could be adapted to the purposes to which I intended making
it applicable. But, with severe labor and unremitting perseverance, I at length met with entire success in
all my preparations. My balloon was soon completed. It would contain more than forty thousand cubic
feet of gas; would take me up easily, I calculated, with all my implements, and, if I managed rightly, with
one hundred and seventy-five pounds of ballast into the bargain. It had received three coats of varnish,
and I found the cambric muslin to answer all the purposes of silk itself, quite as strong and a good deal
less expensive.
"Everything being now ready, I exacted from my wife an oath of secrecy in relation to all my actions from
the day of my first visit to the bookseller's stall; and promising, on my part, to return as soon as
circumstances would permit, I gave her what little money I had left, and bade her farewell. Indeed I had
no fear on her account. She was what people call a notable woman, and could manage matters in the
world without my assistance. I believe, to tell the truth, she always looked upon me as an idle boy, a mere
make-weight, good for nothing but building castles in the air, and was rather glad to get rid of me. It was
a dark night when I bade her good-bye, and taking with me, as aides-de-camp, the three creditors who
had given me so much trouble, we carried the balloon, with the car and accoutrements, by a roundabout
way, to the station where the other articles were deposited. We there found them all unmolested, and I
proceeded immediately to business.
"It was the first of April. The night, as I said before, was dark; there was not a star to be seen; and a
drizzling rain, falling at intervals, rendered us very uncomfortable. But my chief anxiety was concerning
the balloon, which, in spite of the varnish with which it was defended, began to grow rather heavy with
the moisture; the powder also was liable to damage. I therefore kept my three duns working with great
diligence, pounding down ice around the central cask, and stirring the acid in the others. They did not
cease, however, importuning me with questions as to what I intended to do with all this apparatus, and
expressed much dissatisfaction at the terrible labor I made them undergo. They could not perceive, so
they said, what good was likely to result from their getting wet to the skin, merely to take a part in such
horrible incantations. I began to get uneasy, and worked away with all my might, for I verily believe the
idiots supposed that I had entered into a compact with the devil, and that, in short, what I was now doing
was nothing better than it should be. I was, therefore, in great fear of their leaving me altogether. I
contrived, however, to pacify them by promises of payment of all scores in full, as soon as I could bring
the present business to a termination. To these speeches they gave, of course, their own interpretation;
fancying, no doubt, that at all events I should come into possession of vast quantities of ready money; and
provided I paid them all I owed, and a trifle more, in consideration of their services, I dare say they cared
very little what became of either my soul or my carcass.
"In about four hours and a half I found the balloon sufficiently inflated. I attached the car, therefore, and
put all my implements in it -- not forgetting the condensing apparatus, a copious supply of water, and a
large quantity of provisions, such as pemmican, in which much nutriment is contained in comparatively
little bulk. I also secured in the car a pair of pigeons and a cat. It was now nearly daybreak, and I thought
it high time to take my departure. Dropping a lighted cigar on the ground, as if by accident, I took the
opportunity, in stooping to pick it up, of igniting privately the piece of slow match, whose end, as I said
before, protruded a very little beyond the lower rim of one of the smaller casks. This manoeuvre was
totally unperceived on the part of the three duns; and, jumping into the car, I immediately cut the single
cord which held me to the earth, and was pleased to find that I shot upward, carrying with all ease one
hundred and seventy-five pounds of leaden ballast, and able to have carried up as many more.
"Scarcely, however, had I attained the height of fifty yards, when, roaring and rumbling up after me in the
most horrible and tumultuous manner, came so dense a hurricane of fire, and smoke, and sulphur, and
legs and arms, and gravel, and burning wood, and blazing metal, that my very heart sunk within me, and I
fell down in the bottom of the car, trembling with unmitigated terror. Indeed, I now perceived that I had
entirely overdone the business, and that the main consequences of the shock were yet to be experienced.
Accordingly, in less than a second, I felt all the blood in my body rushing to my temples, and immediately
thereupon, a concussion, which I shall never forget, burst abruptly through the night and seemed to rip
the very firmament asunder. When I afterward had time for reflection, I did not fail to attribute the
extreme violence of the explosion, as regarded myself, to its proper cause -- my situation directly above it,
and in the line of its greatest power. But at the time, I thought only of preserving my life. The balloon at
first collapsed, then furiously expanded, then whirled round and round with horrible velocity, and finally,
reeling and staggering like a drunken man, hurled me with great force over the rim of the car, and left me
dangling, at a terrific height, with my head downward, and my face outwards, by a piece of slender cord
about three feet in length, which hung accidentally through a crevice near the bottom of the wicker-work,
and in which, as I fell, my left foot became most providentially entangled. It is impossible -- utterly
impossible -- to form any adequate idea of the horror of my situation. I gasped convulsively for breath -- a
shudder resembling a fit of the ague agitated every nerve and muscle of my frame -- I felt my eyes
starting from their sockets -- a horrible nausea overwhelmed me -- and at length I fainted away.
"How long I remained in this state it is impossible to say. It must, however, have been no inconsiderable
time, for when I partially recovered the sense of existence, I found the day breaking, the balloon at a
prodigious height over a wilderness of ocean, and not a trace of land to be discovered far and wide within
the limits of the vast horizon. My sensations, however, upon thus recovering, were by no means so rife
with agony as might have been anticipated. Indeed, there was much of incipient madness in the calm
survey which I began to take of my situation. I drew up to my eyes each of my hands, one after the other,
and wondered what occurrence could have given rise to the swelling of the veins, and the horrible
blackness of the fingemails. I afterward carefully examined my head, shaking it repeatedly, and feeling it
with minute attention, until I succeeded in satisfying myself that it was not, as I had more than half
suspected, larger than my balloon. Then, in a knowing manner, I felt in both my breeches pockets, and,
missing therefrom a set of tablets and a toothpick case, endeavored to account for their disappearance,
and not being able to do so, felt inexpressibly chagrined. It now occurred to me that I suffered great
uneasiness in the joint of my left ankle, and a dim consciousness of my situation began to glimmer
through my mind. But, strange to say! I was neither astonished nor horror-stricken. If I felt any emotion
at all, it was a kind of chuckling satisfaction at the cleverness I was about to display in extricating myself
from this dilemma; and I never, for a moment, looked upon my ultimate safety as a question susceptible of
doubt. For a few minutes I remained wrapped in the profoundest meditation. I have a distinct recollection
of frequently compressing my lips, putting my forefinger to the side of my nose, and making use of other
gesticulations and grimaces common to men who, at ease in their arm-chairs, meditate upon matters of
intricacy or importance. Having, as I thought, sufficiently collected my ideas, I now, with great caution
and deliberation, put my hands behind my back, and unfastened the large iron buckle which belonged to
the waistband of my inexpressibles. This buckle had three teeth, which, being somewhat rusty, turned
with great difficulty on their axis. I brought them, however, after some trouble, at right angles to the body
of the buckle, and was glad to find them remain firm in that position. Holding the instrument thus
obtained within my teeth, I now proceeded to untie the knot of my cravat. I had to rest several times
before I could accomplish this manoeuvre, but it was at length accomplished. To one end of the cravat I
then made fast the buckle, and the other end I tied, for greater security, tightly around my wrist. Drawing
now my body upwards, with a prodigious exertion of muscular force, I succeeded, at the very first trial, in
throwing the buckle over the car, and entangling it, as I had anticipated, in the circular rim of the wicker-
work.
"My body was now inclined towards the side of the car, at an angle of about forty-five degrees; but it must
not be understood that I was therefore only forty-five degrees below the perpendicular. So far from it, I
still lay nearly level with the plane of the horizon; for the change of situation which I had acquired, had
forced the bottom of the car considerably outwards from my position, which was accordingly one of the
most imminent and deadly peril. It should be remembered, however, that when I fell in the first instance,
from the car, if I had fallen with my face turned toward the balloon, instead of turned outwardly from it,
as it actually was; or if, in the second place, the cord by which I was suspended had chanced to hang over
the upper edge, instead of through a crevice near the bottom of the car, -- I say it may be readily
conceived that, in either of these supposed cases, I should have been unable to accomplish even as much
as I had now accomplished, and the wonderful adventures of Hans Pfaall would have been utterly lost to
posterity, I had therefore every reason to be grateful; although, in point of fact, I was still too stupid to be
anything at all, and hung for, perhaps, a quarter of an hour in that extraordinary manner, without making
the slightest farther exertion whatsoever, and in a singularly tranquil state of idiotic enjoyment. But this
feeling did not fail to die rapidly away, and thereunto succeeded horror, and dismay, and a chilling sense
of utter helplessness and ruin. In fact, the blood so long accumulating in the vessels of my head and
throat, and which had hitherto buoyed up my spirits with madness and delirium, had now begun to retire
within their proper channels, and the distinctness which was thus added to my perception of the danger,
merely served to deprive me of the self-possession and courage to encounter it. But this weakness was,
luckily for me, of no very long duration. In good time came to my rescue the spirit of despair, and, with
frantic cries and struggles, I jerked my way bodily upwards, till at length, clutching with a vise-like grip
the long-desired rim, I writhed my person over it, and fell headlong and shuddering within the car.
"It was not until some time afterward that I recovered myself sufficiently to attend to the ordinary cares
of the balloon. I then, however, examined it with attention, and found it, to my great relief, uninjured. My
implements were all safe, and, fortunately, I had lost neither ballast nor provisions. Indeed, I had so well
secured them in their places, that such an accident was entirely out of the question. Looking at my watch,
I found it six o'clock. I was still rapidly ascending, and my barometer gave a present altitude of three and
three-quarter miles. Immediately beneath me in the ocean, lay a small black object, slightly oblong in
shape, seemingly about the size, and in every way bearing a great resemblance to one of those childish
toys called a domino. Bringing my telescope to bear upon it, I plainly discerned it to be a British ninety
four-gun ship, close-hauled, and pitching heavily in the sea with her head to the W.S.W. Besides this ship, I
saw nothing but the ocean and the sky, and the sun, which had long arisen.
"It is now high time that I should explain to your Excellencies the object of my perilous voyage. Your
Excellencies will bear in mind that distressed circumstances in Rotterdam had at length driven me to the
resolution of committing suicide. It was not, however, that to life itself I had any, positive disgust, but that
I was harassed beyond endurance by the adventitious miseries attending my situation. In this state of
mind, wishing to live, yet wearied with life, the treatise at the stall of the bookseller opened a resource to
my imagination. I then finally made up my mind. I determined to depart, yet live -- to leave the world, yet
continue to exist -- in short, to drop enigmas, I resolved, let what would ensue, to force a passage, if I
could, to the moon. Now, lest I should be supposed more of a madman than I actually am, I will detail, as
well as I am able, the considerations which led me to believe that an achievement of this nature, although
without doubt difficult, and incontestably full of danger, was not absolutely, to a bold spirit, beyond the
confines of the possible.
"The moon's actual distance from the earth was the first thing to be attended to. Now, the mean or
average interval between the centres of the two planets is 59.9643 of the earth's equatorial radii, or only
about 237,000 miles. I say the mean or average interval. But it must be borne in mind that the form of the
moon's orbit being an ellipse of eccentricity amounting to no less than 0.05484 of the major semi-axis of
the ellipse itself, and the earth's centre being situated in its focus, if I could, in any manner, contrive to
meet the moon, as it were, in its perigee, the above mentioned distance would be materially diminished.
But, to say nothing at present of this possibility, it was very certain that, at all events, from the 237,000
miles I would have to deduct the radius of the earth, say 4,000, and the radius of the moon, say 1080, in
all 5,080, leaving an actual interval to be traversed, under average circumstances, of 231,920 miles. Now
this, I reflected, was no very extraordinary distance. Travelling on land has been repeatedly accomplished
at the rate of thirty miles per hour, and indeed a much greater speed may be anticipated. But even at this
velocity, it would take me no more than 322 days to reach the surface of the moon. There were, however,
many particulars inducing me to believe that my average rate of travelling might possibly very much
exceed that of thirty miles per hour, and, as these considerations did not fail to make a deep impression
upon my mind, I will mention them more fully hereafter.
"The next point to be regarded was a matter of far greaterimportance. From indications afforded by the
barometer, we find that, in ascensions from the surface of the earth we have, at the height of 1,000 feet,
left below us about one-thirtieth of the entire mass of atmospheric air, that at 10,600 we have ascended
through nearly one-third; and that at 18,000, which is not far from the elevation of Cotopaxi, we have
surmounted one-half the material, or, at all events, one-half the ponderable, body of air incumbent upon
our globe. It is also calculated that at an altitude not exceeding the hundredth part of the earth's
diameter -- that is, not exceeding eighty miles -- the rarefaction would be so excessive that animal life
could in no manner be sustained, and, moreover, that the most delicate means we possess of ascertaining
the presence of the atmosphere would be inadequate to assure us of its existence. But I did not fail to
perceive that these latter calculations are founded altogether on our experimental knowledge of the
properties of air, and the mechanical laws regulating its dilation and compression, in what may be called,
comparatively speaking, the immediate vicinity of the earth itself; and, at the same time, it is taken for
granted that animal life is and must be essentially incapable of modification at any given unattainable
distance from the surface. Now, all such reasoning and from such data must, of course, be simply
analogical. The greatest height ever reached by man was that of 25,000 feet, attained in the aeronautic
expedition of Messieurs Gay-Lussac and Biot. This is a moderate altitude, even when compared with the
eighty miles in question; and I could not help thinking that the subject admitted room for doubt and great
latitude for speculation.
"But, in point of fact, an ascension being made to any given altitude, the ponderable quantity of air
surmounted in any farther ascension is by no means in proportion to the additional height ascended (as
may be plainly seen from what has been stated before), but in a ratio constantly decreasing. It is
therefore evident that, ascend as high as we may, we cannot, literally speaking, arrive at a limit beyond
which no atmosphere is to be found. It must exist, I argued; although it may exist in a state of infinite
rarefaction.
"On the other hand, I was aware that arguments have not been wanting to prove the existence of a real
and definite limit to theatmosphere, beyond which there is absolutely no air whatsoever. But a
circumstance which has been left out of view by those who contend for such a limit seemed to me,
although no positive refutation of their creed, still a point worthy very serious investigation. On
comparing the intervals between the successive arrivals of Encke's comet at its perihelion, after giving
credit, in the most exact manner, for all the disturbances due to the attractions of the planets, it appears
that the periods are gradually diminishing; that is to say, the major axis of the comet's ellipse is growing
shorter, in a slow but perfectly regular decrease. Now, this is precisely what ought to be the case, if we
suppose a resistance experienced from the comet from an extremely rare ethereal medium pervading the
regions of its orbit. For it is evident that such a medium must, in retarding the comet's velocity, increase
its centripetal, by weakening its centrifugal force. In other words, the sun's attraction would be
constantly attaining greater power, and the comet would be drawn nearer at every revolution. Indeed,
there is no other way of accounting for the variation in question. But again. The real diameter of the same
comet's nebulosity is observed to contract rapidly as it approaches the sun, and dilate with equal rapidity
in its departure towards its aphelion. Was I not justifiable in supposing with M. Valz, that this apparent
condensation of volume has its origin in the compression of the same ethereal medium I have spoken of
before, and which is only denser in proportion to its solar vicinity? The lenticular-shaped phenomenon,
also called the zodiacal light, was a matter worthy of attention. This radiance, so apparent in the tropics,
and which cannot be mistaken for any meteoric lustre, extends from the horizon obliquely upward, and
follows generally the direction of the sun's equator. It appeared to me evidently in the nature of a rare
atmosphere extending from the sun outward, beyond the orbit of Venus at least, and I believed
indefinitely farther.{*2} Indeed, this medium I could not suppose confined to the path of the comet's
ellipse, or to the immediate neighborhood of the sun. It was easy, on the contrary, to imagine it pervading
the entire regions of our planetary system, condensed into what we call atmosphere at the planets
themselves, and perhaps at some of them modified by considerations, so to speak, purely geological.
Having adopted this view of the subject, I had little further hesitation. Granting that on my passage I
should meet with atmosphere essentially the same as at the surface of the earth, I conceived that, by
means of the very ingenious apparatus of M. Grimm, I should readily be enabled to condense it in
sufficient quantity for the purposes of respiration. This would remove the chief obstacle in a journey to
the moon. I had indeed spent some money and great labor in adapting the apparatus to the object
intended, and confidently looked forward to its successful application, if I could manage to complete the
voyage within any reasonable period. This brings me back to the rate at which it might be possible to
travel.
"It is true that balloons, in the first stage of their ascensions from the earth, are known to rise with a
velocity comparatively moderate. Now, the power of elevation lies altogether in the superior lightness of
the gas in the balloon compared with the atmospheric air; and, at first sight, it does not appear probable
that, as the balloon acquires altitude, and consequently arrives successively in atmospheric strata of
densities rapidly diminishing -- I say, it does not appear at all reasonable that, in this its progress
upwards, the original velocity should be accelerated. On the other hand, I was not aware that, in any
recorded ascension, a diminution was apparent in the absolute rate of ascent; although such should have
been the case, if on account of nothing else, on account of the escape of gas through balloons ill-
constructed, and varnished with no better material than the ordinary varnish. It seemed, therefore, that
the effect of such escape was only sufficient to counterbalance the effect of some accelerating power. I
now considered that, provided in my passage I found the medium I had imagined, and provided that it
should prove to be actually and essentially what we denominate atmospheric air, it could make
comparatively little difference at what extreme state of rarefaction I should discover it -- that is to say, in
regard to my power of ascending -- for the gas in the balloon would not only be itself subject to
rarefaction partially similar (in proportion to the occurrence of which, I could suffer an escape of so much
as would be requisite to prevent explosion), but, being what it was, would, at all events, continue
specifically lighter than any compound whatever of mere nitrogen and oxygen. In the meantime, the force
of gravitation would be constantly diminishing, in proportion to the squares of the distances, and thus,
with a velocityprodigiously accelerating, I should at length arrive in those distant regions where the
force of the earth's attraction would be superseded by that of the moon. In accordance with these ideas, I
did not think it worth while to encumber myself with more provisions than would be sufficient for a period
of forty days.
"There was still, however, another difficulty, which occasioned me some little disquietude. It has been
observed, that, in balloon ascensions to any considerable height, besides the pain attending respiration,
great uneasiness is experienced about the head and body, often accompanied with bleeding at the nose,
and other symptoms of an alarming kind, and growing more and more inconvenient in proportion to the
altitude attained.{*3} This was a reflection of a nature somewhat startling. Was it not probable that these
symptoms would increase indefinitely, or at least until terminated by death itself? I finally thought not.
Their origin was to be looked for in the progressive removal of the customary atmospheric pressure upon
the surface of the body, and consequent distention of the superficial blood-vessels -- not in any positive
disorganization of the animal system, as in the case of difficulty in breathing, where the atmospheric
density is chemically insufficient for the due renovation of blood in a ventricle of the heart. Unless for
default of this renovation, I could see no reason, therefore, why life could not be sustained even in a
vacuum; for the expansion and compression of chest, commonly called breathing, is action purely
muscular, and the cause, not the effect, of respiration. In a word, I conceived that, as the body should
become habituated to the want of atmospheric pressure, the sensations of pain would gradually diminish -
- and to endure them while they continued, I relied with confidence upon the iron hardihood of my
constitution.
"Thus, may it please your Excellencies, I have detailed some, though by no means all, the considerations
which led me to form the project of a lunar voyage. I shall now proceed to lay before you the result of an
attempt so apparently audacious in conception, and, at all events, so utterly unparalleled in the annals of
mankind.
"Having attained the altitude before mentioned, that is to say three miles and three-quarters, I threw out
from the car a quantity of feathers, and found that I still ascended with sufficient rapidity; there was,
therefore, no necessity for discharging any ballast. I was glad of this, for I wished to retain with me as
much weight as I could carry, for reasons which will be explained in the sequel. I as yet suffered no bodily
inconvenience, breathing with great freedom, and feeling no pain whatever in the head. The cat was lying
very demurely upon my coat, which I had taken off, and eyeing the pigeons with an air of nonchalance.
These latter being tied by the leg, to prevent their escape, were busily employed in picking up some
grains of rice scattered for them in the bottom of the car.
"At twenty minutes past six o'clock, the barometer showed an elevation of 26,400 feet, or five miles to a
fraction. The prospect seemed unbounded. Indeed, it is very easily calculated by means of spherical
geometry, what a great extent of the earth's area I beheld. The convex surface of any segment of a sphere
is, to the entire surface of the sphere itself, as the versed sine of the segment to the diameter of the
sphere. Now, in my case, the versed sine -- that is to say, the thickness of the segment beneath me -- was
about equal to my elevation, or the elevation of the point of sight above the surface. "As five miles, then,
to eight thousand," would express the proportion of the earth's area seen by me. In other words, I beheld
as much as a sixteen-hundredth part of the whole surface of the globe. The sea appeared unruffled as a
mirror, although, by means of the spy-glass, I could perceive it to be in a state of violent agitation. The
ship was no longer visible, having drifted away, apparently to the eastward. I now began to experience, at
intervals, severe pain in the head, especially about the ears -- still, however, breathing with tolerable
freedom. The cat and pigeons seemed to suffer no inconvenience whatsoever.
"At twenty minutes before seven, the balloon entered a long series of dense cloud, which put me to great
trouble, by damaging my condensing apparatus and wetting me to the skin. This was, to be sure, a
singular recontre, for I had not believed it possible that a cloud of this nature could be sustained at so
great an elevation. I thought it best, however, to throw out two five-pound pieces of ballast, reserving still
a weight of one hundred and sixty-five pounds. Upon so doing, I soon rose above the difficulty, and
perceivedimmediately, that I had obtained a great increase in my rate of ascent. In a few seconds after
my leaving the cloud, a flash of vivid lightning shot from one end of it to the other, and caused it to kindle
up, throughout its vast extent, like a mass of ignited and glowing charcoal. This, it must be remembered,
was in the broad light of day. No fancy may picture the sublimity which might have been exhibited by a
similar phenomenon taking place amid the darkness of the night. Hell itself might have been found a
fitting image. Even as it was, my hair stood on end, while I gazed afar down within the yawning abysses,
letting imagination descend, as it were, and stalk about in the strange vaulted halls, and ruddy gulfs, and
red ghastly chasms of the hideous and unfathomable fire. I had indeed made a narrow escape. Had the
balloon remained a very short while longer within the cloud -- that is to say -- had not the inconvenience
of getting wet, determined me to discharge the ballast, inevitable ruin would have been the consequence.
Such perils, although little considered, are perhaps the greatest which must be encountered in balloons. I
had by this time, however, attained too great an elevation to be any longer uneasy on this head.
"I was now rising rapidly, and by seven o'clock the barometer indicated an altitude of no less than nine
miles and a half. I began to find great difficulty in drawing my breath. My head, too, was excessively
painful; and, having felt for some time a moisture about my cheeks, I at length discovered it to be blood,
which was oozing quite fast from the drums of my ears. My eyes, also, gave me great uneasiness. Upon
passing the hand over them they seemed to have protruded from their sockets in no inconsiderable
degree; and all objects in the car, and even the balloon itself, appeared distorted to my vision. These
symptoms were more than I had expected, and occasioned me some alarm. At this juncture, very
imprudently, and without consideration, I threw out from the car three five-pound pieces of ballast. The
accelerated rate of ascent thus obtained, carried me too rapidly, and without sufficient gradation, into a
highly rarefied stratum of the atmosphere, and the result had nearly proved fatal to my expedition and to
myself. I was suddenly seized with a spasm which lasted for more than five minutes, and even when this,
in a measure, ceased, I could catch my breath only at long intervals, and in a gasping manner -- bleeding
all the while copiously at the nose and ears, and even slightly at the eyes. The pigeons appeared
distressed in the extreme, and struggled to escape; while the cat mewed piteously, and, with her tongue
hanging out of her mouth, staggered to and fro in the car as if under the influence of poison. I now too
late discovered the great rashness of which I had been guilty in discharging the ballast, and my agitation
was excessive. I anticipated nothing less than death, and death in a few minutes. The physical suffering I
underwent contributed also to render me nearly incapable of making any exertion for thepreservation of
my life. I had, indeed, little power of reflection left, and the violence of the pain in my head seemed to be
greatly on the increase. Thus I found that my senses would shortly give way altogether, and I had already
clutched one of the valve ropes with the view of attempting a descent, when the recollection of the trick I
had played the three creditors, and the possible consequences to myself, should I return, operated to
deter me for the moment. I lay down in the bottom of the car, and endeavored to collect my faculties. In
this I so far succeeded as to determine upon the experiment of losing blood. Having no lancet, however, I
was constrained to perform the operation in the best manner I was able, and finally succeeded in opening
a vein in my right arm, with the blade of my penknife. The blood had hardly commenced flowing when I
experienced a sensible relief, and by the time I had lost about half a moderate basin full, most of the
worst symptoms had abandoned me entirely. I nevertheless did not think it expedient to attempt getting
on my feet immediately; but, having tied up my arm as well as I could, I lay still for about a quarter of an
hour. At the end of this time I arose, and found myself freer from absolute pain of any kind than I had
been during the last hour and a quarter of my ascension. The difficulty of breathing, however, was
diminished in a very slight degree, and I found that it would soon be positively necessary to make use of
my condenser. In the meantime, looking toward the cat, who was again snugly stowed away upon my
coat, I discovered to my infinite surprise, that she had taken theopportunity of my indisposition to bring
into light a litter of three little kittens. This was an addition to the number of passengers on my part
altogether unexpected; but I was pleased at the occurrence. It would afford me a chance of bringing to a
kind of test the truth of a surmise, which, more than anything else, had influenced me in attempting this
ascension. I had imagined that the habitual endurance of the atmospheric pressure at the surface of the
earth was the cause, or nearly so, of the pain attending animal existence at a distance above the surface.
Should the kittens be found to suffer uneasiness in an equal degree with their mother, I must consider my
theory in fault, but a failure to do so I should look upon as a strong confirmation of my idea.
"By eight o'clock I had actually attained an elevation of seventeen miles above the surface of the earth.
Thus it seemed to me evident that my rate of ascent was not only on the increase, but that the
progression would have been apparent in a slight degree even had I not discharged the ballast which I
did. The pains in my head and ears returned, at intervals, with violence, and I still continued to bleed
occasionally at the nose; but, upon the whole, I suffered much less than might have been expected. I
breathed, however, at every moment, with more and more difficulty, and each inhalation was attended
with a troublesome spasmodic action of the chest. I now unpacked the condensing apparatus, and got it
ready for immediate use.
"The view of the earth, at this period of my ascension, was beautiful indeed. To the westward, the
northward, and the southward, as far as I could see, lay a boundless sheet of apparently unruffled ocean,
which every moment gained a deeper and a deeper tint of blue and began already to assume a slight
appearance of convexity. At a vast distance to the eastward, although perfectly discernible, extended the
islands of Great Britain, the entire Atlantic coasts of France and Spain, with a small portion of the
northern part of the continent of Africa. Of individual edifices not a trace could be discovered, and the
proudest cities of mankind had utterly faded away from the face of the earth. From the rock of Gibraltar,
now dwindled into a dim speck, the dark Mediterranean sea, dotted with shining islands as the heaven is
dotted with stars, spread itself out to the eastward as far as my vision extended, until its entire mass of
waters seemed at length to tumble headlong over the abyss of the horizon, and I found myself listening on
tiptoe for the echoes of the mighty cataract. Overhead, the sky was of a jetty black, and the stars were
brilliantly visible.
"The pigeons about this time seeming to undergo much suffering, I determined upon giving them their
liberty. I first untied one of them, a beautiful gray-mottled pigeon, and placed him upon the rim of the
wicker-work. He appeared extremely uneasy, looking anxiously around him, fluttering his wings, and
making a loud cooing noise, but could not be persuaded to trust himself from off the car. I took him up at
last, and threw him to about half a dozen yards from the balloon. He made, however, no attempt to
descend as I had expected, but struggled with great vehemence to get back, uttering at the same time
very shrill and piercing cries. He at length succeeded in regaining his former station on the rim, but had
hardly done so when his head dropped upon his breast, and be fell dead within the car. The other one did
not prove so unfortunate. To prevent his following the example of his companion, and accomplishing a
return, I threw him downward with all my force, and was pleased to find him continue his descent, with
great velocity, making use of his wings with ease, and in a perfectly natural manner. In a very short time
he was out of sight, and I have no doubt he reached home in safety. Puss, who seemed in a great measure
recovered from her illness, now made a hearty meal of the dead bird and then went to sleep with much
apparent satisfaction. Her kittens were quite lively, and so far evinced not the slightest sign of any
uneasiness whatever.
"At a quarter-past eight, being no longer able to draw breath without the most intolerable pain, I
proceeded forthwith to adjust around the car the apparatus belonging to the condenser. This apparatus
will require some little explanation, and your Excellencies will please to bear in mind that my object, in
the first place, was to surround myself and cat entirely with a barricade against the highly rarefied
atmosphere in which I was existing, with the intention of introducing within this barricade, by means of
my condenser, a quantity of this same atmosphere sufficiently condensed for the purposes ofrespiration.
With this object in view I had prepared a very strong perfectly air-tight, but flexible gum-elastic bag. In
this bag, which was of sufficient dimensions, the entire car was in a manner placed. That is to say, it (the
bag) was drawn over the whole bottom of the car, up its sides, and so on, along the outside of the ropes,
to the upper rim or hoop where the net-work is attached. Having pulled the bag up in this way, and
formed a complete enclosure on all sides, and at botttom, it was now necessary to fasten up its top or
mouth, by passing its material over the hoop of the net-work -- in other words, between the net-work and
the hoop. But if the net-work were separated from the hoop to admit this passage, what was to sustain the
car in the meantime? Now the net-work was not permanently fastened to the hoop, but attached by a
series of running loops or nooses. I therefore undid only a few of these loops at one time, leaving the car
suspended by the remainder. Having thus inserted a portion of the cloth forming the upper part of the
bag, I refastened the loops -- not to the hoop, for that would have been impossible, since the cloth now
intervened -- but to a series of large buttons, affixed to the cloth itself, about three feet below the mouth
of the bag, the intervals between the buttons having been made to correspond to the intervals between
the loops. This done, a few more of the loops were unfastened from the rim, a farther portion of the cloth
introduced, and the disengaged loops then connected with their proper buttons. In this way it was
possible to insert the whole upper part of the bag between the net-work and the hoop. It is evident that
the hoop would now drop down within the car, while the whole weight of the car itself, with all its
contents, would be held up merely by the strength of the buttons. This, at first sight, would seem an
inadequate dependence; but it was by no means so, for the buttons were not only very strong in
themselves, but so close together that a very slight portion of the whole weight was supported by any one
of them. Indeed, had the car and contents been three times heavier than they were, I should not have
been at all uneasy. I now raised up the hoop again within the covering of gum-elastic, and propped it at
nearly its former height by means of three light poles prepared for the occasion. This was done, of course,
to keep the bag distended at the top, and to preserve the lower part of the net-work in its proper
situation. All that now remained was to fasten up the mouth of the enclosure; and this was readily
accomplished by gathering the folds of the material together, and twisting them up very tightly on the
inside by means of a kind of stationary tourniquet.
"In the sides of the covering thus adjusted round the car, had been inserted three circular panes of thick
but clear glass, through which I could see without difficulty around me in every horizontal direction. In
that portion of the cloth forming the bottom, was likewise, a fourth window, of the same kind, and
corresponding with a small aperture in the floor of the car itself. This enabled me to see perpendicularly
down, but having found it impossible to place any similar contrivance overhead, on account of the
peculiar manner of closing up the opening there, and the consequent wrinkles in the cloth, I could expect
to see no objects situated directly in my zenith. This, of course, was a matter of little consequence; for
had I even been able to place a window at top, the balloon itself would have prevented my making any use
of it.
"About a foot below one of the side windows was a circular opening, eight inches in diameter, and fitted
with a brass rim adapted in its inner edge to the windings of a screw. In this rim was screwed the large
tube of the condenser, the body of the machine being, of course, within the chamber of gum-elastic.
Through this tube a quantity of the rare atmosphere circumjacent being drawn by means of a vacuum
created in the body of the machine, was thence discharged, in a state of condensation, to mingle with the
thin air already in the chamber. This operation being repeated several times, at length filled the chamber
with atmosphere proper for all the purposes of respiration. But in so confined a space it would, in a short
time, necessarily become foul, and unfit for use from frequent contact with the lungs. It was then ejected
by a small valve at the bottom of the car -- the dense air readily sinking into the thinner atmosphere
below. To avoid the inconvenience of making a total vacuum at any moment within the chamber, this
purification was never accomplished all at once, but in a gradual manner -- the valve being opened only
for a few seconds, then closed again, until one or two strokes from the pump of the condenser had
supplied the place of the atmosphere ejected. For the sake of experiment I had put the cat and kittens in a
small basket, and suspended it outside the car to a button at the bottom, close by the valve, through
which I could feed them at any moment when necessary. I did this at some little risk, and before closing
the mouth of the chamber, by reaching under the car with one of the poles before mentioned to which a
hook had been attached.
"By the time I had fully completed these arrangements and filled the chamber as explained, it wanted
only ten minutes of nine o'clock. During the whole period of my being thus employed, I endured the most
terrible distress from difficulty of respiration, and bitterly did I repent the negligence or rather fool-
hardiness, of which I had been guilty, of putting off to the last moment a matter of so much importance.
But having at length accomplished it, I soon began to reap the benefit of my invention. Once again I
breathed with perfect freedom and ease -- and indeed why should I not? I was also agreeably surprised to
find myself, in a great measure, relieved from the violent pains which had hitherto tormented me. A slight
headache, accompanied with a sensation of fulness or distention about the wrists, the ankles, and the
throat, was nearly all of which I had now to complain. Thus it seemed evident that a greater part of the
uneasiness attending the removal of atmospheric pressure had actually worn off, as I had expected, and
that much of the pain endured for the last two hours should have been attributed altogether to the effects
of a deficient respiration.
"At twenty minutes before nine o'clock -- that is to say, a short time prior to my closing up the mouth of
the chamber, the mercury attained its limit, or ran down, in the barometer, which, as I mentioned before,
was one of an extended construction. It then indicated an altitude on my part of 132,000 feet, or five-and-
twenty miles, and I consequently surveyed at that time an extent of the earth's area amounting to no less
than the threehundred-and-twentieth part of its entire superficies. At nine o'clock I had again lost sight
of land to the eastward, but not before I became aware that the balloon was drifting rapidly to the N. N.
W. The convexity of the ocean beneath me was very evident indeed, although my view was often
interrupted by the masses of cloud which floated to and fro. I observed now that even the lightest vapors
never rose to more than ten miles above the level of the sea.
"At half past nine I tried the experiment of throwing out a handful of feathers through the valve. They did
not float as I had expected; but dropped down perpendicularly, like a bullet, en masse, and with the
greatest velocity -- being out of sight in a very few seconds. I did not at first know what to make of this
extraordinary phenomenon; not being able to believe that my rate of ascent had, of a sudden, met with so
prodigious an acceleration. But it soon occurred to me that the atmosphere was now far too rare to
sustain even the feathers; that they actually fell, as they appeared to do, with great rapidity; and that I
had been surprised by the united velocities of their descent and my own elevation.
"By ten o'clock I found that I had very little to occupy my immediate attention. Affairs went swimmingly,
and I believed the balloon to be going upward witb a speed increasing momently although I had no longer
any means of ascertaining the progression of the increase. I suffered no pain or uneasiness of any kind,
and enjoyed better spirits than I had at any period since my departure from Rotterdam, busying myself
now in examining the state of my various apparatus, and now in regenerating the atmosphere within the
chamber. This latter point I determined to attend to at regular intervals of forty minutes, more on account
of the preservation of my health, than from so frequent a renovation being absolutely necessary. In the
meanwhile I could not help making anticipations. Fancy revelled in the wild and dreamy regions of the
moon. Imagination, feeling herself for once unshackled, roamed at will among the ever-changing wonders
of a shadowy and unstable land. Now there were boary and time-honored forests, and craggy precipices,
and waterfalls tumbling with a loud noise into abysses without a bottom. Then I came suddenly into still
noonday solitudes, where no wind of heaven ever intruded, and where vast meadows of poppies, and
slender, lily-looking flowers spread themselves out a weary distance, all silent and motionless forever.
Then again I journeyed far down away into another country where it was all one dim and vague lake, with
a boundary line of clouds. And out of this melancholy water arose a forest of tall eastern trees, like a
wilderness of dreams. And I have in mind that the shadows of the trees which fell upon the lake remained
not on the surface where they fell, but sunk slowly and steadily down, and commingled with the waves,
while from the trunks of the trees other shadows were continually coming out, and taking the place of
their brothers thus entombed. "This then," I said thoughtfully, "is the very reason why the waters of this
lake grow blacker with age, and more melancholy as the hours run on." But fancies such as these were
not the sole possessors of my brain. Horrors of a nature most stern and most appalling would too
frequently obtrude themselves upon my mind, and shake the innermost depths of my soul with the bare
supposition of their possibility. Yet I would not suffer my thoughts for any length of time to dwell upon
these latter speculations, rightly judging the real and palpable dangers of the voyage sufficient for my
undivided attention.
"At five o'clock, p.m., being engaged in regenerating the atmosphere within the chamber, I took that
opportunity of observing the cat and kittens through the valve. The cat herself appeared to suffer again
very much, and I had no hesitation in attributing her uneasiness chiefly to a difficulty in breathing; but my
experiment with the kittens had resulted very strangely. I had expected, of course, to see them betray a
sense of pain, although in a less degree than their mother, and this would have been sufficient to confirm
my opinion concerning the habitual endurance of atmospheric pressure. But I was not prepared to find
them, upon close examination, evidently enjoying a high degree of health, breathing with the greatest
ease and perfect regularity, and evincing not the slightest sign of any uneasiness whatever. I could only
account for all this by extending my theory, and supposing that the highly rarefied atmosphere around
might perhaps not be, as I had taken for granted, chemically insufficient for the purposes of life, and that
a person born in such a medium might, possibly, be unaware of any inconvenience attending its
inhalation, while, upon removal to the denser strata near the earth, he might endure tortures of a similar
nature to those I had so lately experienced. It has since been to me a matter of deep regret that an
awkward accident, at this time, occasioned me the loss of my little family of cats, and deprived me of the
insight into this matter which a continued experiment might have afforded. In passing my hand through
the valve, with a cup of water for the old puss, the sleeves of my shirt became entangled in the loop which
sustained the basket, and thus, in a moment, loosened it from the bottom. Had the whole actually
vanished into air, it could not have shot from my sight in a more abrupt and instantaneous manner.
Positively, there could not have intervened the tenth part of a second between the disengagement of the
basket and its absolute and total disappearance with all that it contained. My good wishes followed it to
the earth, but of course, I had no hope that either cat or kittens would ever live to tell the tale of their
misfortune.
"At six o'clock, I perceived a great portion of the earth's visible area to the eastward involved in thick
shadow, which continued to advance with great rapidity, until, at five minutes before seven, the whole
surface in view was enveloped in the darkness of night. It was not, however, until long after this time that
the rays of the setting sun ceased to illumine the balloon; and this circumstance, although of course fully
anticipated, did not fail to give me an infinite deal of pleasure. It was evident that, in the morning, I
should behold the rising luminary many hours at least before the citizens of Rotterdam, in spite of their
situation so much farther to the eastward, and thus, day after day, in proportion to the height ascended,
would I enjoy the light of the sun for a longer and a longer period. I now determined to keep a journal of
my passage, reckoning the days from one to twenty-four hours continuously, without taking into
consideration the intervals of darkness.
"At ten o'clock, feeling sleepy, I determined to lie down for the rest of the night; but here a difficulty
presented itself, which, obvious as it may appear, had escaped my attention up to the very moment of
which I am now speaking. If I went to sleep as I proposed, how could the atmosphere in the chamber be
regenerated in the interim? To breathe it for more than an hour, at the farthest, would be a matter of
impossibility, or, if even this term could be extended to an hour and a quarter, the most ruinous
consequences might ensue. The consideration of this dilemma gave me no little disquietude; and it will
hardly be believed, that, after the dangers I had undergone, I should look upon this business in so serious
a light, as to give up all hope of accomplishing my ultimate design, and finally make up my mind to the
necessity of a descent. But this hesitation was only momentary. I reflected that man is the veriest slave of
custom, and that many points in the routine of his existence are deemed essentially important, which are
only so at all by his having rendered them habitual. It was very certain that I could not do without sleep;
but I might easily bring myself to feel noinconvenience from being awakened at intervals of an hour
during the whole period of my repose. It would require but five minutes at most to regenerate the
atmosphere in the fullest manner, and the only real difficulty was to contrive a method of arousing myself
at the proper moment for so doing. But this was a question which, I am willing to confess, occasioned me
no little trouble in its solution. To be sure, I had heard of the student who, to prevent his falling asleep
over his books, held in one hand a ball of copper, the din of whose descent into a basin of the same metal
on the floor beside his chair, served effectually to startle him up, if, at any moment, he should be
overcome with drowsiness. My own case, however, was very different indeed, and left me no room for any
similar idea; for I did not wish to keep awake, but to be aroused from slumber at regular intervals of time.
I at length hit upon the following expedient, which, simple as it may seem, was hailed by me, at the
moment of discovery, as an invention fully equal to that of the telescope, the steam-engine, or the art of
printing itself.
"It is necessary to premise, that the balloon, at the elevation now attained, continued its course upward
with an even and undeviating ascent, and the car consequently followed with a steadiness so perfect that
it would have been impossible to detect in it the slightest vacillation whatever. This circumstance favored
me greatly in the project I now determined to adopt. My supply of water had been put on board in kegs
containing five gallons each, and ranged very securely around the interior of the car. I unfastened one of
these, and taking two ropes tied them tightly across the rim of the wicker-work from one side to the
other; placing them about a foot apart and parallel so as to form a kind of shelf, upon which I placed the
keg, and steadied it in a horizontal position. About eight inches immediately below these ropes, and four
feet from the bottom of the car I fastened another shelf -- but made of thin plank, being the only similar
piece of wood I had. Upon this latter shelf, and exactly beneath one of the rims of the keg, a small
earthern pitcher was deposited. I now bored a hole in the end of the keg over the pitcher, and fitted in a
plug of soft wood, cut in a tapering or conical shape. This plug I pushed in or pulled out, as might happen,
until, after a few experiments, it arrived at that exact degree of tightness, at which the water, oozing from
the hole, and falling into the pitcher below, would fill the latter to the brim in the period of sixty minutes.
This, of course, was a matter briefly and easily ascertained, by noticing the proportion of the pitcher filled
in any given time. Having arranged all this, the rest of the plan is obvious. My bed was so contrived upon
the floor of the car, as to bring my head, in lying down, immediately below the mouth of the pitcher. It was
evident, that, at the expiration of an hour, the pitcher, getting full, would be forced to run over, and to run
over at the mouth, which was somewhat lower than the rim. It was also evident, that the water thus
falling from a height of more than four feet, could not do otherwise than fall upon my face, and that the
sure consequences would be, to waken me up instantaneously, even from the soundest slumber in the
world.
"It was fully eleven by the time I had completed these arrangements, and I immediately betook myself to
bed, with full confidence in the efficiency of my invention. Nor in this matter was I disappointed.
Punctually every sixty minutes was I aroused by my trustychronometer, when, having emptied the
pitcher into the bung-hole of the keg, and performed the duties of the condenser, I retired again to bed.
These regular interruptions to my slumber caused me even less discomfort than I had anticipated; and
when I finally arose for the day, it was seven o'clock, and the sun had attained many degrees above the
line of my horizon.
"April 3d. I found the balloon at an immense height indeed, and the earth's apparent convexity increased
in a material degree. Below me in the ocean lay a cluster of black specks, which undoubtedly were
islands. Far away to the northward I perceived a thin, white, and exceedingly brilliant line, or streak, on
the edge of the horizon, and I had no hesitation in supposing it to be the southern disk of the ices of the
Polar Sea. My curiosity was greatly excited, for I had hopes of passing on much farther to the north, and
might possibly, at some period, find myself placed directly above the Pole itself. I now lamented that my
great elevation would, in this case, prevent my taking as accurate a survey as I could wish. Much,
however, might be ascertained. Nothing else of an extraordinary nature occurred during the day. My
apparatus all continued in good order, and the balloon still ascended without any perceptible vacillation.
The cold was intense, and obliged me to wrap up closely in an overcoat. When darkness came over the
earth, I betook myself to bed, although it was for many hours afterward broad daylight all around my
immediate situation. The water-clock was punctual in its duty, and I slept until next morning soundly, with
the exception of the periodical interruption.
"April 4th. Arose in good health and spirits, and was astonished at the singular change which had taken
place in the appearance of the sea. It had lost, in a great measure, the deep tint of blue it had hitherto
worn, being now of a grayish-white, and of a lustre dazzling to the eye. The islands were no longer visible;
whether they had passed down the horizon to the southeast, or whether my increasing elevation had left
them out of sight, it is impossible to say. I was inclined, however, to the latter opinion. The rim of ice to
the northward was growing more and more apparent. Cold by no means so intense. Nothing of
importance occurred, and I passed the day in reading, having taken care to supply myself with books.
"April 5th. Beheld the singular phenomenon of the sun rising while nearly the whole visible surface of the
earth continued to be involved in darkness. In time, however, the light spread itself over all, and I again
saw the line of ice to the northward. It was now very distinct, and appeared of a much darker hue than
the waters of the ocean. I was evidently approaching it, and with great rapidity. Fancied I could again
distinguish a strip of land to the eastward, and one also to the westward, but could not be certain.
Weather moderate. Nothing of any consequence happened during the day. Went early to bed.
"April 6th. Was surprised at finding the rim of ice at a very moderate distance, and an immense field of
the same material stretching away off to the horizon in the north. It was evident that if the balloon held
its present course, it would soon arrive above the Frozen Ocean, and I had now little doubt of ultimately
seeing the Pole. During the whole of the day I continued to near the ice. Toward night the limits of my
horizon very suddenly and materially increased, owing undoubtedly to the earth's form being that of an
oblate spheroid, and my arriving above the flattened regions in the vicinity of the Arctic circle. When
darkness at length overtook me, I went to bed in great anxiety, fearing to pass over the object of so much
curiosity when I should have no opportunity of observing it.
"April 7th. Arose early, and, to my great joy, at length beheld what there could be no hesitation in
supposing the northern Pole itself. It was there, beyond a doubt, and immediately beneath my feet; but,
alas! I had now ascended to so vast a distance, that nothing could with accuracy be discerned. Indeed, to
judge from the progression of the numbers indicating my various altitudes, respectively, at different
periods, between six A.M. on the second of April, and twenty minutes before nine A.M. of the same day (at
which time the barometer ran down), it might be fairly inferred that the balloon had now, at four o'clock
in the morning of April the seventh, reached a height of not less, certainly, than 7,254 miles above the
surface of the sea. This elevation may appear immense, but the estimate upon which it is calculated gave
a result in all probability far inferior to the truth. At all events I undoubtedly beheld the whole of the
earth's major diameter; the entire northern hemisphere lay beneath me like a chart orthographically
projected: and the great circle of the equator itself formed the boundary line of my horizon. Your
Excellencies may, however, readily imagine that the confined regions hitherto unexplored within the limits
of the Arctic circle, although situated directly beneath me, and therefore seen without any appearance of
being foreshortened, were still, in themselves, comparatively too diminutive, and at too great a distance
from the point of sight, to admit of any very accurate examination.Nevertheless, what could be seen was
of a nature singular and exciting. Northwardly from that huge rim before mentioned, and which, with
slight qualification, may be called the limit of human discovery in these regions, one unbroken, or nearly
unbroken, sheet of ice continues to extend. In the first few degrees of this its progress, its surface is very
sensibly flattened, farther on depressed into a plane, and finally, becoming not a little concave, it
terminates, at the Pole itself, in a circular centre, sharply defined, wbose apparent diameter subtended at
the balloon an angle of about sixty-five seconds, and whose dusky hue, varying in intensity, was, at all
times, darker than any other spot upon the visible hemisphere, and occasionally deepened into the most
absolute and impenetrable blackness. Farther than this, little could be ascertained. By twelve o'clock the
circular centre had materially decreased incircumference, and by seven P.M. I lost sight of it entirely;
the balloon passing over the western limb of the ice, and floating away rapidly in the direction of the
equator.
"April 8th. Found a sensible diminution in the earth's apparent diameter, besides a material alteration in
its general color and appearance. The whole visible area partook in different degrees of a tint of pale
yellow, and in some portions had acquired a brilliancy even painful to the eye. My view downward was
also considerably impeded by the dense atmosphere in the vicinity of the surface being loaded with
clouds, between whose masses I could only now and then obtain a glimpse of the earth itself. This
difficulty of direct vision had troubled me more or less for the last forty-eight hours; but my present
enormous elevation brought closer together, as it were, the floating bodies of vapor, and the
inconvenience became, of course, more and more palpable in proportion to my ascent.Nevertheless, I
could easily perceive that the balloon now hovered above the range of great lakes in the continent of
North America, and was holding a course, due south, which would bring me to the tropics. This
circumstance did not fail to give me the most heartful satisfaction, and I hailed it as a happy omen of
ultimate success. Indeed, the direction I had hitherto taken, had filled me with uneasiness; for it was
evident that, had I continued it much longer, there would have been no possibility of my arriving at the
moon at all, whose orbit is inclined to the ecliptic at only the small angle of 5 degrees 8' 48".
"April 9th. To-day the earth's diameter was greatly diminished, and the color of the surface assumed
hourly a deeper tint of yellow. The balloon kept steadily on her course to the southward, and arrived, at
nine P.M., over the northern edge of the Mexican Gulf.
"April 10th. I was suddenly aroused from slumber, about five o'clock this morning, by a loud, crackling,
and terrific sound, for which I could in no manner account. It was of very brief duration, but, while it
lasted resembled nothing in the world of which I had any previous experience. It is needless to say that I
became excessively alarmed, having, in the first instance, attributed the noise to the bursting of the
balloon. I examined all my apparatus, however, with great attention, and could discover nothing out of
order. Spent a great part of the day in meditating upon an occurrence so extraordinary, but could find no
means whatever of accounting for it. Went to bed dissatisfied, and in a state of great anxiety and
agitation.
"April 11th. Found a startling diminution in the apparent diameter of the earth, and a considerable
increase, now observable for the first time, in that of the moon itself, which wanted only a few days of
being full. It now required long and excessive labor to condense within the chamber sufficient
atmospheric air for the sustenance of life.
"April 12th. A singular alteration took place in regard to the direction of the balloon, and although fully
anticipated, afforded me the most unequivocal delight. Having reached, in its former course, about the
twentieth parallel of southern latitude, it turned off suddenly, at an acute angle, to the eastward, and thus
proceeded throughout the day, keeping nearly, if not altogether, in the exact plane of the lunar elipse.
What was worthy of remark, a very perceptible vacillation in the car was a consequence of this change of
route -- a vacillation which prevailed, in a more or less degree, for a period of many hours.
"April 13th. Was again very much alarmed by a repetition of the loud, crackling noise which terrified me
on the tenth. Thought long upon the subject, but was unable to form any satisfactory conclusion. Great
decrease in the earth's apparent diameter, which now subtended from the balloon an angle of very little
more than twenty-five degrees. The moon could not be seen at all, being nearly in my zenith. I still
continued in the plane of the elipse, but made little progress to the eastward.
"April 14th. Extremely rapid decrease in the diameter of the earth. To-day I became strongly impressed
with the idea, that the balloon was now actually running up the line of apsides to the point of perigee- in
other words, holding the direct course which would bring it immediately to the moon in that part of its
orbit the nearest to the earth. The moon iself was directly overhead, and consequently hidden from my
view. Great and long-continued labor necessary for the condensation of the atmosphere.
"April 15th. Not even the outlines of continents and seas could now be traced upon the earth with
anything approaching distinctness. About twelve o'clock I became aware, for the third time, of that
appalling sound which had so astonished me before. It now, however, continued for some moments, and
gathered intensity as it continued. At length, while, stupefied and terror-stricken, I stood in expectation of
I knew not what hideous destruction, the car vibrated with excessive violence, and a gigantic and flaming
mass of some material which I could not distinguish, came with a voice of a thousand thunders, roaring
and booming by the balloon. When my fears and astonishment had in some degree subsided, I had little
difficulty in supposing it to be some mighty volcanic fragment ejected from that world to which I was so
rapidly approaching, and, in all probability, one of that singular class of substances occasionally picked up
on the earth, and termed meteoric stones for want of a betterappellation.
"April 16th. To-day, looking upward as well as I could, through each of the side windows alternately, I
beheld, to my great delight, a very small portion of the moon's disk protruding, as it were, on all sides
beyond the huge circumference of the balloon. My agitation was extreme; for I had now little doubt of
soon reaching the end of my perilous voyage. Indeed, the labor now required by the condenser had
increased to a most oppressive degree, and allowed me scarcely any respite from exertion. Sleep was a
matter nearly out of the question. I became quite ill, and my frame trembled with exhaustion. It was
impossible that human nature could endure this state of intense suffering much longer. During the now
brief interval of darkness a meteoric stone again passed in my vicinity, and the frequency of these
phenomena began to occasion me much apprehension.
"April 17th. This morning proved an epoch in my voyage. It will be remembered that, on the thirteenth,
the earth subtended an angular breadth of twenty-five degrees. On the fourteenth this had greatly
diminished; on the fifteenth a still more remarkable decrease was observable; and, on retiring on the
night of the sixteenth, I had noticed an angle of no more than about seven degrees and fifteen minutes.
What, therefore, must have been my amazement, on awakening from a brief and disturbed slumber, on
the morning of this day, the seventeenth, at finding the surface beneath me so suddenly and wonderfully
augmented in volume, as to subtend no less than thirty-nine degrees in apparent angular diameter! I
wasthunderstruck! No words can give any adequate idea of the extreme, the absolute horror and
astonishment, with which I was seized possessed, and altogether overwhelmed. My knees tottered
beneath me -- my teeth chattered -- my hair started up on end. "The balloon, then, had actually burst!"
These were the first tumultuous ideas that hurried through my mind: "The balloon had positively burst! --
I was falling -- falling with the most impetuous, the most unparalleled velocity! To judge by the immense
distance already so quickly passed over, it could not be more than ten minutes, at the farthest, before I
should meet the surface of the earth, and be hurled intoannihilation!" But at length reflection came to
my relief. I paused; I considered; and I began to doubt. The matter was impossible. I could not in any
reason have so rapidly come down. Besides, although I was evidently approaching the surface below me,
it was with a speed by no means commensurate with the velocity I had at first so horribly conceived. This
consideration served to calm the perturbation of my mind, and I finally succeeded in regarding the
phenomenon in its proper point of view. In fact, amazement must have fairly deprived me of my senses,
when I could not see the vast difference, inappearance, between the surface below me, and the surface
of my mother earth. The latter was indeed over my head, and completely hidden by the balloon, while the
moon -- the moon itself in all its glory -- lay beneath me, and at my feet.
"The stupor and surprise produced in my mind by this extraordinary change in the posture of affairs was
perhaps, after all, that part of the adventure least susceptible of explanation. For thebouleversement in
itself was not only natural and inevitable, but had been long actually anticipated as a circumstance to be
expected whenever I should arrive at that exact point of my voyage where the attraction of the planet
should be superseded by the attraction of the satellite -- or, more precisely, where the gravitation of the
balloon toward the earth should be less powerful than its gravitation toward the moon. To be sure I arose
from a sound slumber, with all my senses in confusion, to the contemplation of a very startling
phenomenon, and one which, although expected, was not expected at the moment. The revolution itself
must, of course, have taken place in an easy and gradual manner, and it is by no means clear that, had I
even been awake at the time of the occurrence, I should have been made aware of it by any internal
evidence of an inversion -- that is to say, by any inconvenience or disarrangement, either about my person
or about my apparatus.
"It is almost needless to say that, upon coming to a due sense of my situation, and emerging from the
terror which had absorbed every faculty of my soul, my attention was, in the first place, wholly directed to
the contemplation of the general physical appearance of the moon. It lay beneath me like a chart -- and
although I judged it to be still at no inconsiderable distance, the indentures of its surface were defined to
my vision with a most striking and altogether unaccountable distinctness. The entire absence of ocean or
sea, and indeed of any lake or river, or body of water whatsoever, struck me, at first glance, as the most
extraordinary feature in its geological condition. Yet, strange to say, I beheld vast level regions of a
character decidedly alluvial, although by far the greater portion of the hemisphere in sight was covered
with innumerable volcanic mountains, conical in shape, and having more the appearance of artificial than
of natural protuberance. The highest among them does not exceed three and three-quarter miles in
perpendicular elevation; but a map of the volcanic districts of the Campi Phlegraei would afford to your
Excellencies a better idea of their general surface than any unworthy description I might think proper to
attempt. The greater part of them were in a state of evident eruption, and gave me fearfully to
understand their fury and their power, by the repeated thunders of the miscalled meteoric stones, which
now rushed upward by the balloon with a frequency more and more appalling.
"April 18th. To-day I found an enormous increase in the moon's apparent bulk -- and the evidently
accelerated velocity of my descent began to fill me with alarm. It will be remembered, that, in the earliest
stage of my speculations upon the possibility of a passage to the moon, the existence, in its vicinity, of an
atmosphere, dense in proportion to the bulk of the planet, had entered largely into my calculations; this
too in spite of many theories to the contrary, and, it may be added, in spite of a general disbelief in the
existence of any lunar atmosphere at all. But, in addition to what I have already urged in regard to
Encke's comet and the zodiacal light, I had been strengthened in my opinion by certain observations of
Mr. Schroeter, of Lilienthal. He observed the moon when two days and a half old, in the evening soon
after sunset, before the dark part was visible, and continued to watch it until it became visible. The two
cusps appeared tapering in a very sharp faint prolongation, each exhibiting its farthest extremity faintly
illuminated by the solar rays, before any part of the dark hemisphere was visible. Soon afterward, the
whole dark limb became illuminated. This prolongation of the cusps beyond the semicircle, I thought,
must have arisen from the refraction of the sun's rays by the moon's atmosphere. I computed, also, the
height of the atmosphere (which could refract light enough into its dark hemisphere to produce a twilight
more luminous than the light reflected from the earth when the moon is about 32 degrees from the new)
to be 1,356 Paris feet; in this view, I supposed the greatest height capable of refracting the solar ray, to be
5,376 feet. My ideas on this topic had also receivedconfirmation by a passage in the eighty-second
volume of the Philosophical Transactions, in which it is stated that at an occultation of Jupiter's satellites,
the third disappeared after having been about 1" or 2" of time indistinct, and the fourth became
indiscernible near the limb.{*4}
"Cassini frequently observed Saturn, Jupiter, and the fixed stars, when approaching the moon to
occultation, to have their circular figure changed into an oval one; and, in other occultations, he found no
alteration of figure at all. Hence it might be supposed, that at some times and not at others, there is a
dense matter encompassing the moon wherein the rays of the stars are refracted.
"Upon the resistance or, more properly, upon the support of an atmosphere, existing in the state of
density imagined, I had, of course, entirely depended for the safety of my ultimate descent. Should I then,
after all, prove to have been mistaken, I had in consequence nothing better to expect, as a finale to my
adventure, than being dashed into atoms against the rugged surface of the satellite. And, indeed, I had
now every reason to be terrified. My distance from the moon was comparatively trifling, while the labor
required by the condenser was diminished not at all, and I could discover no indication whatever of a
decreasing rarity in the air.
"April 19th. This morning, to my great joy, about nine o'clock, the surface of the moon being frightfully
near, and my apprehensions excited to the utmost, the pump of my condenser at length gave evident
tokens of an alteration in the atmosphere. By ten, I had reason to believe its density considerably
increased. By eleven, very little labor was necessary at the apparatus; and at twelve o'clock, with some
hesitation, I ventured to unscrew the tourniquet, when, finding no inconvenience from having done so, I
finally threw open the gum-elastic chamber, and unrigged it from around the car. As might have been
expected, spasms and violent headache were the immediate consequences of an experiment so
precipitate and full of danger. But these and other difficulties attending respiration, as they were by no
means so great as to put me in peril of my life, I determined to endure as I best could, in consideration of
my leaving them behind me momently in my approach to the denser strata near the moon. This approach,
however, was still impetuous in the extreme; and it soon became alarmingly certain that, although I had
probably not been deceived in the expectation of an atmosphere dense in proportion to the mass of the
satellite, still I had been wrong in supposing this density, even at the surface, at all adequate to the
support of the great weight contained in the car of my balloon. Yet this should have been the case, and in
an equal degree as at the surface of the earth, the actual gravity of bodies at either planet supposed in
the ratio of the atmospheric condensation. That it was not the case, however, my precipitous downfall
gave testimony enough; why it was not so, can only be explained by a reference to those possible
geological disturbances to which I have formerly alluded. At all events I was now close upon the planet,
and coming down with the most terrible impetuosity. I lost not a moment, accordingly, in throwing
overboard first my ballast, then my water-kegs, then my condensing apparatus and gum-elastic chamber,
and finally every article within the car. But it was all to no purpose. I still fell with horrible rapidity, and
was now not more than half a mile from the surface. As a last resource, therefore, having got rid of my
coat, hat, and boots, I cut loose from the balloon the car itself, which was of no inconsiderable weight,
and thus, clinging with both hands to the net-work, I had barely time to observe that the whole country, as
far as the eye could reach, was thickly interspersed with diminutive habitations, ere I tumbled headlong
into the very heart of a fantastical-looking city, and into the middle of a vast crowd of ugly little people,
who none of them uttered a single syllable, or gave themselves the least trouble to render me assistance,
but stood, like a parcel of idiots, grinning in a ludicrous manner, and eyeing me and my balloon askant,
with their arms set a-kimbo. I turned from them in contempt, and, gazing upward at the earth so lately
left, and left perhaps for ever, beheld it like a huge, dull, copper shield, about two degrees in diameter,
fixed immovably in the heavens overhead, and tipped on one of its edges with a crescent border of the
most brilliant gold. No traces of land or water could be discovered, and the whole was clouded with
variable spots, and belted with tropical and equatorial zones.
"Thus, may it please your Excellencies, after a series of great anxieties, unheard of dangers, and
unparalleled escapes, I had, at length, on the nineteenth day of my departure from Rotterdam, arrived in
safety at the conclusion of a voyage undoubtedly the most extraordinary, and the most momentous, ever
accomplished, undertaken, or conceived by any denizen of earth. But my adventures yet remain to be
related. And indeed your Excellencies may well imagine that, after a residence of five years upon a planet
not only deeply interesting in its own peculiar character, but rendered doubly so by its intimate
connection, in capacity of satellite, with the world inhabited by man, I may have intelligence for the
private ear of the States' College of Astronomers of far more importance than the details, however
wonderful, of the mere voyage which so happily concluded. This is, in fact, the case. I have much -- very
much which it would give me the greatest pleasure to communicate. I have much to say of the climate of
the planet; of its wonderful alternations of heat and cold, of unmitigated and burning sunshine for one
fortnight, and more than polar frigidity for the next; of a constant transfer of moisture, by distillation like
that in vacuo, from the point beneath the sun to the point the farthest from it; of a variable zone of
running water, of the people themselves; of their manners, customs, and political institutions; of their
peculiar physical construction; of their ugliness; of their want of ears, those useless appendages in an
atmosphere so peculiarly modified; of their consequent ignorance of the use and properties of speech; of
their substitute for speech in a singular method of inter-communication; of the incomprehensible
connection between each particular individual in the moon with some particular individual on the earth --
a connection analogous with, and depending upon, that of the orbs of the planet and thesatellites, and by
means of which the lives and destinies of the inhabitants of the one are interwoven with the lives and
destinies of the inhabitants of the other; and above all, if it so please your Excellencies -- above all, of
those dark and hideous mysteries which lie in the outer regions of the moon -- regions which, owing to the
almost miraculous accordance of the satellite's rotation on its own axis with its sidereal revolution about
the earth, have never yet been turned, and, by God's mercy, never shall be turned, to the scrutiny of the
telescopes of man. All this, and more- much more -- would I most willingly detail. But, to be brief, I must
have my reward. I am pining for a return to my family and to my home, and as the price of any farther
communication on my part -- in consideration of the light which I have it in my power to throw upon many
very important branches of physical and metaphysical science -- I must solicit, through the influence of
your honorable body, a pardon for the crime of which I have been guilty in the death of the creditors upon
my departure from Rotterdam. This, then, is the object of the present paper. Its bearer, an inhabitant of
the moon, whom I have prevailed upon, and properly instructed, to be my messenger to the earth, will
await your Excellencies' pleasure, and return to me with the pardon in question, if it can, in any manner,
be obtained.
"I have the honor to be, etc., your Excellencies' very humble servant, HANS PFAALL."
Upon finishing the perusal of this very extraordinary document, Professor Rub-a-dub, it is said, dropped
his pipe upon the ground in the extremity of his surprise, and Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk having
taken off his spectacles, wiped them, and deposited them in his pocket, so far forgot both himself and his
dignity, as to turn round three times upon his heel in the quintessence of astonishment and admiration.
There was no doubt about the matter -- the pardon should be obtained. So at least swore, with a round
oath, Professor Rub-a-dub, and so finally thought the illustrious Von Underduk, as he took the arm of his
brother in science, and without saying a word, began to make the best of his way home to deliberate upon
the measures to be adopted. Having reached the door, however, of the burgomaster's dwelling, the
professor ventured to suggest that as the messenger had thought proper to disappear -- no doubt
frightened to death by the savage appearance of the burghers of Rotterdam -- the pardon would be of
little use, as no one but a man of the moon would undertake a voyage to so vast a distance. To the truth of
this observation the burgomaster assented, and the matter was therefore at an end. Not so, however,
rumors and speculations. The letter, having been published, gave rise to a variety of gossip and opinion.
Some of the over-wise even made themselves ridiculous by decrying the whole business; as nothing better
than a hoax. But hoax, with these sort of people, is, I believe, a general term for all matters above their
comprehension. For my part, I cannot conceive upon what data they have founded such an accusation. Let
us see what they say:
Imprimus. That certain wags in Rotterdam have certain especial antipathies to certain burgomasters and
astronomers.
Secondly. That an odd little dwarf and bottle conjurer, both of whose ears, for some misdemeanor, have
been cut off close to his head, has been missing for several days from the neighboring city of Bruges.
Thirdly. That the newspapers which were stuck all over the little balloon were newspapers of Holland, and
therefore could not have been made in the moon. They were dirty papers -- very dirty -- and Gluck, the
printer, would take his Bible oath to their having been printed in Rotterdam.
Fourthly, That Hans Pfaall himself, the druken villain, and the three very idle gentlemen styled his
creditors, were all seen, no longer than two or three days ago, in a tippling house in the suburbs, having
just returned, with money in their pockets, from a trip beyond the sea.
Lastly. That it is an opinion very generally received, or which ought to be generally received, that the
College of Astronomers in the city of Rotterdam, as well as other colleges in all other parts of the world, --
not to mention colleges and astronomers in general, -- are, to say the least of the matter, not a whit better,
nor greater, nor wiser than they ought to be.
{*1} NOTE--Strictly speaking, there is but little similarity between the above sketchy trifle and the
celebrated "Moon-Story" of Mr. Locke; but as both have the character of hoaxes (although the one is in a
tone of banter, the other of downright earnest), and as both hoaxes are on the same subject, the moon--
moreover, as both attempt to give plausibility by scientific detail--the author of "Hans Pfaall" thinks it
necessary to say, in self-defence, that his own jeu d'esprit was published in the "Southern Literary
Messenger" about three weeks before the commencement of Mr. L's in the "New York Sun." Fancying a
likeness which, perhaps, does not exist, some of the New York papers copied "Hans Pfaall," and collated it
with the "Moon-Hoax," by way of detecting the writer of the one in the writer of the other.
As many more persons were actually gulled by the "Moon-Hoax" than would be willing to acknowledge
the fact, it may here afford some little amusement to show why no one should have been deceived-to point
out those particulars of the story which should have been sufficient to establish its real character. Indeed,
however rich the imagination displayed in this ingenious fiction, it wanted much of the force which might
have been given it by a more scrupulous attention to facts and to general analogy. That the public were
misled, even for an instant, merely proves the gross ignorance which is so generally prevalent upon
subjects of an astronomical nature.
The moon's distance from the earth is, in round numbers, 240,000 miles. If we desire to ascertain how
near, apparently, a lens would bring the satellite (or any distant object), we, of course, have but to divide
the distance by the magnifying or, more strictly, by the space-penetrating power of the glass. Mr. L. makes
his lens have a power of 42,000 times. By this divide 240,000 (the moon's real distance), and we have five
miles and five sevenths, as the apparent distance. No animal at all could be seen so far; much less the
minute points particularized in the story. Mr. L. speaks about Sir John Herschel's perceiving flowers (the
Papaver rheas, etc.), and even detecting the color and the shape of the eyes of small birds. Shortly before,
too, he has himself observed that the lens would not render perceptible objects of less than eighteen
inches in diameter; but even this, as I have said, is giving the glass by far too great power. It may be
observed, in passing, that this prodigious glass is said to have been molded at the glasshouse of Messrs.
Hartley and Grant, in Dumbarton; but Messrs. H. and G.'s establishment had ceased operations for many
years previous to the publication of the hoax.
On page 13, pamphlet edition, speaking of "a hairy veil" over the eyes of a species of bison, the author
says: "It immediately occurred to the acute mind of Dr. Herschel that this was a providential contrivance
to protect the eyes of the animal from the great extremes of light and darkness to which all the
inhabitants of our side of the moon are periodically subjected." But this cannot be thought a very "acute"
observation of the Doctor's. The inhabitants of our side of the moon have, evidently, no darkness at all, so
there can be nothing of the "extremes" mentioned. In the absence of the sun they have a light from the
earth equal to that of thirteen full unclouded moons.
The topography throughout, even when professing to accord with Blunt's Lunar Chart, is entirely at
variance with that or any other lunar chart, and even grossly at variance with itself. The points of the
compass, too, are in inextricable confusion; the writer appearing to be ignorant that, on a lunar map,
these are not in accordance with terrestrial points; the east being to the left, etc.
Deceived, perhaps, by the vague titles, Mare Nubium, MareTranquillitatis, Mare Faecunditatis, etc.,
given to the dark spots by former astronomers, Mr. L. has entered into details regarding oceans and other
large bodies of water in the moon; whereas there is no astronomical point more positively ascertained
than that no such bodies exist there. In examining the boundary between light and darkness (in the
crescent or gibbous moon) where this boundary crosses any of the dark places, the line of division is
found to be rough and jagged; but, were these dark places liquid, it would evidently be even.
The description of the wings of the man-bat, on page 21, is but a literal copy of Peter Wilkins' account of
the wings of his flying islanders. This simple fact should have induced suspicion, at least, it might be
thought.
On page 23, we have the following: "What a prodigious influence must our thirteen times larger globe
have exercised upon this satellite when an embryo in the womb of time, the passive subject of chemical
affinity!" This is very fine; but it should be observed that no astronomer would have made such remark,
especially to any journal of Science; for the earth, in the sense intended, is not only thirteen, but forty-
nine times larger than the moon. A similar objection applies to the whole of the concluding pages, where,
by way of introduction to some discoveries in Saturn, the philosophical correspondent enters into a
minute schoolboy account of that planet -- this to the "Edinburgh journal of Science!"
But there is one point, in particular, which should have betrayed the fiction. Let us imagine the power
actually possessed of seeing animals upon the moon's surface -- what would first arrest the attention of an
observer from the earth? Certainly neither their shape, size, nor any other such peculiarity, so soon as
their remarkable situation . They would appear to be walking, with heels up and head down, in the
manner of flies on a ceiling. The real observer would have uttered an instant ejaculation of surprise
(however prepared by previous knowledge) at the singularity of their position; the fictitious observer has
not even mentioned the subject, but speaks of seeing the entire bodies of such creatures, when it is
demonstrable that he could have seen only the diameter of their heads!
It might as well be remarked, in conclusion, that the size, and particularly the powers of the man-bats (for
example, their ability to fly in so rare an atmosphere--if, indeed, the moon have any), with most of the
other fancies in regard to animal and vegetable existence, are at variance, generally, with all analogical
reasoning on these themes; and that analogy here will often amount to conclusive demonstration. It is,
perhaps, scarcely necessary to add, that all the suggestions attributed to Brewster and Herschel, in the
beginning of the article, about "a transfusion of artificial light through the focal object of vision," etc.,
etc., belong to that species of figurative writing which comes, most properly, under the denomination of
rigmarole.
There is a real and very definite limit to optical discovery among the stars--a limit whose nature need only
be stated to be understood. If, indeed, the casting of large lenses were all that is required, man's
ingenuity would ultimately prove equal to the task, and we might have them of any size demanded. But,
unhappily, in proportion to the increase of size in the lens, and consequently ofspace-penetrating power,
is the diminution of light from the object, by diffusion of its rays. And for this evil there is no remedy
within human ability; for an object is seen by means of that light alone which proceeds from itself,
whether direct or reflected. Thus the only "artificial" light which could avail Mr. Locke, would be some
artificial light which he should be able to throw-not upon the "focal object of vision," but upon the real
object to be viewed-to wit: upon the moon. It has been easily calculated that, when the light proceeding
from a star becomes so diffused as to be as weak as the natural light proceeding from the whole of the
stars, in a clear and moonless night, then the star is no longer visible for any practical purpose.
The Earl of Ross's telescope, lately constructed in England, has a speculum with a reflecting surface of
4,071 square inches; the Herschel telescope having one of only 1,811. The metal of the Earl of Ross's is 6
feet diameter; it is 5 1/2 inches thick at the edges, and 5 at the centre. The weight is 3 tons. The focal
length is 50 feet.
I have lately read a singular and somewhat ingenious little book, whose title-page runs thus: "L'Homme
dans la lvne ou le Voyage Chimerique fait au Monde de la Lvne, nouuellement decouuert par Dominique
Gonzales, Aduanturier Espagnol, autremét dit le Courier volant. Mis en notre langve par J. B. D. A. Paris,
chez Francois Piot, pres la Fontaine de Saint Benoist. Et chez J. Goignard, au premier pilier de la
grand'salle du Palais, proche les Consultations, MDCXLVII." Pp. 76.
The writer professes to have translated his work from the English of one Mr. D'Avisson (Davidson?)
although there is a terrible ambiguity in the statement. "J' en ai eu," says he "l'original de Monsieur
D'Avisson, medecin des mieux versez qui soient aujourd'huy dans la cònoissance des Belles Lettres, et sur
tout de la Philosophic Naturelle. Je lui ai cette obligation entre les autres, de m' auoir non seulement mis
en main cc Livre en anglois, mais encore le Manuscrit du Sieur Thomas D'Anan, gentilhomme Eccossois,
recommandable pour sa vertu, sur la version duquel j' advoue que j' ay tiré le plan de la mienne."
After some irrelevant adventures, much in the manner of Gil Blas, and which occupy the first thirty pages,
the author relates that, being ill during a sea voyage, the crew abandoned him, together with a negro
servant, on the island of St. Helena. To increase the chances of obtaining food, the two separate, and live
as far apart as possible. This brings about a training of birds, to serve the purpose of carrier-pigeons
between them. By and by these are taught to carry parcels of some weight-and this weight is gradually
increased. At length the idea is entertained of uniting the force of a great number of the birds, with a
view to raising the author himself. A machine is contrived for the purpose, and we have a minute
description of it, which is materially helped out by a steel engraving. Here we perceive the Signor
Gonzales, with point ruffles and a huge periwig, seated astride something which resembles very closely a
broomstick, and borne aloft by a multitude of wild swans (ganzas) who had strings reaching from their
tails to the machine.
The main event detailed in the Signor's narrative depends upon a very important fact, of which the reader
is kept in ignorance until near the end of the book. The ganzas, with whom he had become so familiar,
were not really denizens of St. Helena, but of the moon. Thence it had been their custom, time out of
mind, to migrate annually to some portion of the earth. In proper season, of course, they would return
home; and the author, happening, one day, to require their services for a short voyage, is unexpectedly
carried straight tip, and in a very brief period arrives at the satellite. Here he finds, among other odd
things, that the people enjoy extreme happiness; that they have no law; that they die without pain; that
they are from ten to thirty feet in height; that they live five thousand years; that they have an emperor
called Irdonozur; and that they can jump sixty feet high, when, being out of the gravitating influence, they
fly about with fans.
"I must not forget here, that the stars appeared only on that side of the globe turned toward the moon,
and that the closer they were to it the larger they seemed. I have also me and the earth. As to the stars,
since there was no night where I was, they always had the same appearance; not brilliant, as usual, but
pale, and very nearly like the moon of a morning. But few of them were visible, and these ten times larger
(as well as I could judge) than they seem to the inhabitants of the earth. The moon, which wanted two
days of being full, was of a terrible bigness.
"I must not forget here, that the stars appeared only on that side of the globe turned toward the moon,
and that the closer they were to it the larger they seemed. I have also to inform you that, whether it was
calm weather or stormy, I found myself always immediately between the moon and the earth. I was
convinced of this for two reasons-because my birds always flew in a straight line; and because whenever
we attempted to rest, we were carried insensibly around the globe of the earth. For I admit the opinion of
Copernicus, who maintains that it never ceases to revolve from the east to the west, not upon the poles of
the Equinoctial, commonly called the poles of the world, but upon those of the Zodiac, a question of which
I propose to speak more at length here-after, when I shall have leisure to refresh my memory in regard to
the astrology which I learned at Salamanca when young, and have since forgotten."
Notwithstanding the blunders italicized, the book is not without some claim to attention, as affording a
naive specimen of the current astronomical notions of the time. One of these assumed, that the
"gravitating power" extended but a short distance from the earth's surface, and, accordingly, we find our
voyager "carried insensibly around the globe," etc.
There have been other "voyages to the moon," but none of higher merit than the one just mentioned. That
of Bergerac is utterly meaningless. In the third volume of the "American Quarterly Review" will be found
quite an elaborate criticism upon a certain "journey" of the kind in question--a criticism in which it is
difficult to say whether the critic most exposes the stupidity of the book, or his own absurd ignorance of
astronomy. I forget the title of the work; but the means of the voyage are more deplorably ill conceived
than are even the ganzas of our friend the Signor Gonzales. The adventurer, in digging the earth, happens
to discover a peculiar metal for which the moon has a strong attraction, and straightway constructs of it a
box, which, when cast loose from its terrestrial fastenings, flies with him, forthwith, to the satellite. The
"Flight of Thomas O'Rourke," is a jeu d' esprit not altogether contemptible, and has been translated into
German. Thomas, the hero, was, in fact, the gamekeeper of an Irish peer, whose eccentricities gave rise
to the tale. The "flight" is made on an eagle's back, from Hungry Hill, a lofty mountain at the end of
Bantry Bay.
In these various brochures the aim is always satirical; the theme being a description of Lunarian customs
as compared with ours. In none is there any effort at plausibility in the details of the voyage itself. The
writers seem, in each instance, to be utterly uninformed in respect to astronomy. In "Hans Pfaall" the
design is original, inasmuch as regards an attempt at verisimilitude, in the application of scientific
principles (so far as the whimsical nature of the subject would permit), to the actual passage between the
earth and the moon.
{*2} The zodiacal light is probably what the ancients called Trabes. Emicant Trabes quos docos vocant. --
Pliny, lib. 2, p. 26.
{*3} Since the original publication of Hans Pfaall, I find that Mr. Green, of Nassau balloon notoriety, and
other late aeronauts, deny the assertions of Humboldt, in this respect, and speak of a decreasing
inconvenience, -- precisely in accordance with the theory here urged in a mere spirit of banter.
{*4} Havelius writes that he has several times found, in skies perfectly clear, when even stars of the sixth
and seventh magnitude were conspicuous, that, at the same altitude of the moon, at the same elongation
from the earth, and with one and the same excellent telescope, the moon and its maculae did not appear
equally lucid at all times. From the circumstances of the observation, it is evident that the cause of this
phenomenon is not either in our air, in the tube, in the moon, or in the eye of the spectator, but must be
looked for in something (an atmosphere?) existing about the moon.
VON KEMPELEN AND HIS DISCOVERY
AFTER THE very minute and elaborate paper by Arago, to say nothing of the summary in 'Silliman's
Journal,' with the detailed statement just published by Lieutenant Maury, it will not be supposed, of
course, that in offering a few hurried remarks in reference to Von Kempelen's discovery, I have any design
to look at the subject in a scientific point of view. My object is simply, in the first place, to say a few words
of V on Kempelen himself (with whom, some years ago, I had the honor of a slight personal acquaintance),
since every thing which concerns him must necessarily, at this moment, be of interest; and, in the second
place, to look in a general way, and speculatively, at the results of the discovery.
It may be as well, however, to premise the cursory observations which I have to offer, by denying, very
decidedly, what seems to be a general impression (gleaned, as usual in a case of this kind, from the
newspapers), viz.: that this discovery, astounding as it unquestionably is, is unanticipated.
By reference to the 'Diary of Sir Humphrey Davy' (Cottle and Munroe, London, pp. 150), it will be seen at
pp. 53 and 82, that this illustrious chemist had not only conceived the idea now in question, but had
actually made no inconsiderable progress, experimentally, in the very identical analysis now so
triumphantly brought to an issue by Von Kempelen, who although he makes not the slightest allusion to it,
is, without doubt (I say it unhesitatingly, and can prove it, if required), indebted to the 'Diary' for at least
the first hint of his own undertaking.
The paragraph from the 'Courier and Enquirer,' which is now going the rounds of the press, and which
purports to claim the invention for a Mr. Kissam, of Brunswick, Maine, appears to me, I confess, a little
apocryphal, for several reasons; although there is nothing either impossible or very improbable in the
statement made. I need not go into details. My opinion of the paragraph is founded principally upon its
manner. It does not look true. Persons who are narrating facts, are seldom so particular as Mr. Kissam
seems to be, about day and date and precise location. Besides, if Mr. Kissam actually did come upon the
discovery he says he did, at the period designated -- nearly eight years ago -- how happens it that he took
no steps, on the instant, to reap the immense benefits which the merest bumpkin must have known would
have resulted to him individually, if not to the world at large, from the discovery? It seems to me quite
incredible that any man of common understanding could have discovered what Mr. Kissam says he did,
and yet have subsequently acted so like a baby -- so like an owl -- as Mr. Kissam admits that he did. By-
the-way, who is Mr. Kissam? and is not the whole paragraph in the 'Courier and Enquirer' a fabrication
got up to 'make a talk'? It must be confessed that it has an amazingly moon-hoaxy-air. Very little
dependence is to be placed upon it, in my humble opinion; and if I were not well aware, from experience,
how very easily men of science are mystified, on points out of their usual range of inquiry, I should be
profoundly astonished at finding so eminent a chemist as Professor Draper, discussing Mr. Kissam's (or is
it Mr. Quizzem's?) pretensions to the discovery, in so serious a tone.
But to return to the 'Diary' of Sir Humphrey Davy. This pamphlet was not designed for the public eye,
even upon the decease of the writer, as any person at all conversant with authorship may satisfy himself
at once by the slightest inspection of the style. At page 13, for example, near the middle, we read, in
reference to his researches about the protoxide of azote: 'In less than half a minute the respiration being
continued, diminished gradually and were succeeded by analogous to gentle pressure on all the muscles.'
That the respiration was not 'diminished,' is not only clear by the subsequent context, but by the use of
the plural, 'were.' The sentence, no doubt, was thus intended: 'In less than half a minute, the respiration
[being continued, these feelings] diminished gradually, and were succeeded by [a sensation] analogous to
gentle pressure on all the muscles.' A hundred similar instances go to show that the MS. so
inconsiderately published, was merely a rough note-book, meant only for the writer's own eye, but an
inspection of the pamphlet will convince almost any thinking person of the truth of my suggestion. The
fact is, Sir Humphrey Davy was about the last man in the world to commit himself on scientific topics. Not
only had he a more than ordinary dislike to quackery, but he was morbidly afraid of appearing empirical;
so that, however fully he might have been convinced that he was on the right track in the matter now in
question, he would never have spoken out, until he had every thing ready for the most practical
demonstration. I verily believe that his last moments would have been rendered wretched, could he have
suspected that his wishes in regard to burning this 'Diary' (full of crude speculations) would have been
unattended to; as, it seems, they were. I say 'his wishes,' for that he meant to include this note-book
among the miscellaneous papers directed 'to be burnt,' I think there can be no manner of doubt. Whether
it escaped the flames by good fortune or by bad, yet remains to be seen. That the passages quoted above,
with the other similar ones referred to, gave Von Kempelen the hint, I do not in the slightest degree
question; but I repeat, it yet remains to be seen whether this momentous discovery itself (momentous
under any circumstances) will be of service or disservice to mankind at large. That Von Kempelen and his
immediate friends will reap a rich harvest, it would be folly to doubt for a moment. They will scarcely be
so weak as not to 'realize,' in time, by large purchases of houses and land, with other property of intrinsic
value.
In the brief account of Von Kempelen which appeared in the 'Home Journal,' and has since been
extensively copied, several misapprehensions of the German original seem to have been made by the
translator, who professes to have taken the passage from a late number of the Presburg 'Schnellpost.'
'Viele' has evidently been misconceived (as it often is), and what the translator renders by 'sorrows,' is
probably 'lieden,' which, in its true version, 'sufferings,' would give a totally different complexion to the
whole account; but, of course, much of this is merely guess, on my part.
Von Kempelen, however, is by no means 'a misanthrope,' in appearance, at least, whatever he may be in
fact. My acquaintance with him was casual altogether; and I am scarcely warranted in saying that I know
him at all; but to have seen and conversed with a man of so prodigious a notoriety as he has attained, or
will attain in a few days, is not a small matter, as times go.
'The Literary World' speaks of him, confidently, as a native of Presburg (misled, perhaps, by the account
in 'The Home Journal') but I am pleased in being able to state positively, since I have it from his own lips,
that he was born in Utica, in the State of New York, although both his parents, I believe, are of Presburg
descent. The family is connected, in some way, with Maelzel, of Automaton-chess-player memory. In
person, he is short and stout, with large, fat, blue eyes, sandy hair and whiskers, a wide but pleasing
mouth, fine teeth, and I think a Roman nose. There is some defect in one of his feet. His address is frank,
and his whole manner noticeable for bonhomie. Altogether, he looks, speaks, and acts as little like 'a
misanthrope' as any man I ever saw. We were fellow-sojouners for a week about six years ago, at Earl's
Hotel, in Providence, Rhode Island; and I presume that I conversed with him, at various times, for some
three or four hours altogether. His principal topics were those of the day, and nothing that fell from him
led me to suspect his scientific attainments. He left the hotel before me, intending to go to New York, and
thence to Bremen; it was in the latter city that his great discovery was first made public; or, rather, it was
there that he was first suspected of having made it. This is about all that I personally know of the now
immortal Von Kempelen; but I have thought that even these few details would have interest for the public.
There can be little question that most of the marvellous rumors afloat about this affair are pure
inventions, entitled to about as much credit as the story of Aladdin's lamp; and yet, in a case of this kind,
as in the case of the discoveries in California, it is clear that the truth may be stranger than fiction. The
following anecdote, at least, is so well authenticated, that we may receive it implicitly.
Von Kempelen had never been even tolerably well off during his residence at Bremen; and often, it was
well known, he had been put to extreme shifts in order to raise trifling sums. When the great excitement
occurred about the forgery on the house of Gutsmuth & Co., suspicion was directed toward Von
Kempelen, on account of his having purchased a considerable property in Gasperitch Lane, and his
refusing, when questioned, to explain how he became possessed of the purchase money. He was at length
arrested, but nothing decisive appearing against him, was in the end set at liberty. The police, however,
kept a strict watch upon his movements, and thus discovered that he left home frequently, taking always
the same road, and invariably giving his watchers the slip in the neighborhood of that labyrinth of narrow
and crooked passages known by the flash name of the 'Dondergat.' Finally, by dint of great perseverance,
they traced him to a garret in an old house of seven stories, in an alley called Flatzplatz, -- and, coming
upon him suddenly, found him, as they imagined, in the midst of his counterfeiting operations. His
agitation is represented as so excessive that the officers had not the slightest doubt of his guilt. After
hand-cuffing him, they searched his room, or rather rooms, for it appears he occupied all the mansarde.
Opening into the garret where they caught him, was a closet, ten feet by eight, fitted up with some
chemical apparatus, of which the object has not yet been ascertained. In one corner of the closet was a
very small furnace, with a glowing fire in it, and on the fire a kind of duplicate crucible -- two crucibles
connected by a tube. One of these crucibles was nearly full of lead in a state of fusion, but not reaching
up to the aperture of the tube, which was close to the brim. The other crucible had some liquid in it,
which, as the officers entered, seemed to be furiously dissipating in vapor. They relate that, on finding
himself taken, Kempelen seized the crucibles with both hands (which were encased in gloves that
afterwards turned out to be asbestic), and threw the contents on the tiled floor. It was now that they
hand-cuffed him; and before proceeding to ransack the premises they searched his person, but nothing
unusual was found about him, excepting a paper parcel, in his coat-pocket, containing what was
afterward ascertained to be a mixture of antimony and some unknown substance, in nearly, but not quite,
equal proportions. All attempts at analyzing the unknown substance have, so far, failed, but that it will
ultimately be analyzed, is not to be doubted.
Passing out of the closet with their prisoner, the officers went through a sort of ante-chamber, in which
nothing material was found, to the chemist's sleeping-room. They here rummaged some drawers and
boxes, but discovered only a few papers, of no importance, and some good coin, silver and gold. At length,
looking under the bed, they saw a large, common hair trunk, without hinges, hasp, or lock, and with the
top lying carelessly across the bottom portion. Upon attempting to draw this trunk out from under the
bed, they found that, with their united strength (there were three of them, all powerful men), they 'could
not stir it one inch.' Much astonished at this, one of them crawled under the bed, and looking into the
trunk, said:
'No wonder we couldn't move it -- why it's full to the brim of old bits of brass!'
Putting his feet, now, against the wall so as to get a good purchase, and pushing with all his force, while
his companions pulled with an theirs, the trunk, with much difficulty, was slid out from under the bed, and
its contents examined. The supposed brass with which it was filled was all in small, smooth pieces,
varying from the size of a pea to that of a dollar; but the pieces were irregular in shape, although more or
less flat-looking, upon the whole, 'very much as lead looks when thrown upon the ground in a molten
state, and there suffered to grow cool.' Now, not one of these officers for a moment suspected this metal
to be any thing but brass. The idea of its being gold never entered their brains, of course; how could such
a wild fancy have entered it? And their astonishment may be well conceived, when the next day it became
known, all over Bremen, that the 'lot of brass' which they had carted so contemptuously to the police
office, without putting themselves to the trouble of pocketing the smallest scrap, was not only gold -- real
gold -- but gold far finer than any employed in coinage-gold, in fact, absolutely pure, virgin, without the
slightest appreciable alloy.
I need not go over the details of Von Kempelen's confession (as far as it went) and release, for these are
familiar to the public. That he has actually realized, in spirit and in effect, if not to the letter, the old
chimaera of the philosopher's stone, no sane person is at liberty to doubt. The opinions of Arago are, of
course, entitled to the greatest consideration; but he is by no means infallible; and what he says of
bismuth, in his report to the Academy, must be taken cum grano salis. The simple truth is, that up to this
period all analysis has failed; and until Von Kempelen chooses to let us have the key to his own published
enigma, it is more than probable that the matter will remain, for years, in statu quo. All that as yet can
fairly be said to be known is, that 'Pure gold can be made at will, and very readily from lead in connection
with certain other substances, in kind and in proportions, unknown.'
Speculation, of course, is busy as to the immediate and ultimate results of this discovery -- a discovery
which few thinking persons will hesitate in referring to an increased interest in the matter of gold
generally, by the late developments in California; and this reflection brings us inevitably to another -- the
exceeding inopportuneness of Von Kempelen's analysis. If many were prevented from adventuring to
California, by the mere apprehension that gold would so materially diminish in value, on account of its
plentifulness in the mines there, as to render the speculation of going so far in search of it a doubtful one
-- what impression will be wrought now, upon the minds of those about to emigrate, and especially upon
the minds of those actually in the mineral region, by the announcement of this astounding discovery of
Von Kempelen? a discovery which declares, in so many words, that beyond its intrinsic worth for
manufacturing purposes (whatever that worth may be), gold now is, or at least soon will be (for it cannot
be supposed that Von Kempelen can long retain his secret), of no greater value than lead, and of far
inferior value to silver. It is, indeed, exceedingly difficult to speculate prospectively upon the
consequences of the discovery, but one thing may be positively maintained -- that the announcement of
the discovery six months ago would have had material influence in regard to the settlement of California.
In Europe, as yet, the most noticeable results have been a rise of two hundred per cent. in the price of
lead, and nearly twenty-five per cent. that of silver.
WHY THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN WEARS HIS HAND IN A SLING
IT'S on my visiting cards sure enough (and it's them that's all o' pink satin paper) that inny gintleman that
plases may behould the intheristhin words, "Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, 39 Southampton Row,
Russell Square, Parrish o' Bloomsbury." And shud ye be wantin' to diskiver who is the pink of purliteness
quite, and the laider of the hot tun in the houl city o' Lonon -- why it's jist mesilf. And fait that same is no
wonder at all at all (so be plased to stop curlin your nose), for every inch o' the six wakes that I've been a
gintleman, and left aff wid the bogthrothing to take up wid the Barronissy, it's Pathrick that's been living
like a houly imperor, and gitting the iddication and the graces. Och! and wouldn't it be a blessed thing for
your spirrits if ye cud lay your two peepers jist, upon Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, when he is all
riddy drissed for the hopperer, or stipping into the Brisky for the drive into the Hyde Park. But it's the
illigant big figgur that I ave, for the rason o' which all the ladies fall in love wid me. Isn't it my own swate
silf now that'll missure the six fut, and the three inches more nor that, in me stockins, and that am
excadingly will proportioned all over to match? And it is ralelly more than three fut and a bit that there is,
inny how, of the little ould furrener Frinchman that lives jist over the way, and that's a oggling and a
goggling the houl day, (and bad luck to him,) at the purty widdy Misthress Tracle that's my own nixt-door
neighbor, (God bliss her!) and a most particuller frind and acquaintance? You percave the little spalpeen
is summat down in the mouth, and wears his lift hand in a sling, and it's for that same thing, by yur lave,
that I'm going to give you the good rason.
The truth of the houl matter is jist simple enough; for the very first day that I com'd from Connaught, and
showd my swate little silf in the strait to the widdy, who was looking through the windy, it was a gone case
althegither with the heart o' the purty Misthress Tracle. I percaved it, ye see, all at once, and no mistake,
and that's God's truth. First of all it was up wid the windy in a jiffy, and thin she threw open her two
peepers to the itmost, and thin it was a little gould spy-glass that she clapped tight to one o' them and
divil may burn me if it didn't spake to me as plain as a peeper cud spake, and says it, through the spy-
glass: "Och! the tip o' the mornin' to ye, Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, mavourneen; and it's a nate
gintleman that ye are, sure enough, and it's mesilf and me forten jist that'll be at yur sarvice, dear, inny
time o' day at all at all for the asking." And it's not mesilf ye wud have to be bate in the purliteness; so I
made her a bow that wud ha' broken yur heart altegither to behould, and thin I pulled aff me hat with a
flourish, and thin I winked at her hard wid both eyes, as much as to say, "True for you, yer a swate little
crature, Mrs. Tracle, me darlint, and I wish I may be drownthed dead in a bog, if it's not mesilf, Sir
Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, that'll make a houl bushel o' love to yur leddyship, in the twinkling o' the
eye of a Londonderry purraty."
And it was the nixt mornin', sure, jist as I was making up me mind whither it wouldn't be the purlite thing
to sind a bit o' writin' to the widdy by way of a love-litter, when up com'd the delivery servant wid an
illigant card, and he tould me that the name on it (for I niver could rade the copperplate printin on
account of being lift handed) was all about Mounseer, the Count, A Goose, Look -- aisy, Maiter-di-dauns,
and that the houl of the divilish lingo was the spalpeeny long name of the little ould furrener Frinchman
as lived over the way.
And jist wid that in cum'd the little willian himself, and then he made me a broth of a bow, and thin he
said he had ounly taken the liberty of doing me the honor of the giving me a call, and thin he went on to
palaver at a great rate, and divil the bit did I comprehind what he wud be afther the tilling me at all at all,
excipting and saving that he said "pully wou, woolly wou," and tould me, among a bushel o' lies, bad luck
to him, that he was mad for the love o' my widdy Misthress Tracle, and that my widdy Mrs. Tracle had a
puncheon for him.
At the hearin' of this, ye may swear, though, I was as mad as a grasshopper, but I remimbered that I was
Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, and that it wasn't althegither gentaal to lit the anger git the upper
hand o' the purliteness, so I made light o' the matter and kipt dark, and got quite sociable wid the little
chap, and afther a while what did he do but ask me to go wid him to the widdy's, saying he wud give me
the feshionable inthroduction to her leddyship.
"Is it there ye are?" said I thin to mesilf, "and it's thrue for you, Pathrick, that ye're the fortunittest mortal
in life. We'll soon see now whither it's your swate silf, or whither it's little Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns, that
Misthress Tracle is head and ears in the love wid."
Wid that we wint aff to the widdy's, next door, and ye may well say it was an illigant place; so it was.
There was a carpet all over the floor, and in one corner there was a forty-pinny and a Jew's harp and the
divil knows what ilse, and in another corner was a sofy, the beautifullest thing in all natur, and sitting on
the sofy, sure enough, there was the swate little angel, Misthress Tracle.
"The tip o' the mornin' to ye," says I, "Mrs. Tracle," and thin I made sich an illigant obaysance that it wud
ha quite althegither bewildered the brain o' ye.
"Wully woo, pully woo, plump in the mud," says the little furrenner Frinchman, "and sure Mrs. Tracle,"
says he, that he did, "isn't this gintleman here jist his reverence Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, and
isn't he althegither and entirely the most particular frind and acquaintance that I have in the houl world?"
And wid that the widdy, she gits up from the sofy, and makes the swatest curthchy nor iver was seen; and
thin down she sits like an angel; and thin, by the powers, it was that little spalpeen Mounseer Maiter-di-
dauns that plumped his silf right down by the right side of her. Och hon! I ixpicted the two eyes o' me wud
ha cum'd out of my head on the spot, I was so dispirate mad! Howiver, "Bait who!" says I, after awhile. "Is
it there ye are, Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns?" and so down I plumped on the lift side of her leddyship, to be
aven with the willain. Botheration! it wud ha done your heart good to percave the illigant double wink
that I gived her jist thin right in the face with both eyes.
But the little ould Frinchman he niver beginned to suspict me at all at all, and disperate hard it was he
made the love to her leddyship. "Woully wou," says he, Pully wou," says he, "Plump in the mud," says he.
"That's all to no use, Mounseer Frog, mavourneen," thinks I; and I talked as hard and as fast as I could all
the while, and throth it was mesilf jist that divarted her leddyship complately and intirely, by rason of the
illigant conversation that I kipt up wid her all about the dear bogs of Connaught. And by and by she gived
me such a swate smile, from one ind of her mouth to the ither, that it made me as bould as a pig, and I jist
took hould of the ind of her little finger in the most dillikitest manner in natur, looking at her all the while
out o' the whites of my eyes.
And then ounly percave the cuteness of the swate angel, for no sooner did she obsarve that I was afther
the squazing of her flipper, than she up wid it in a jiffy, and put it away behind her back, jist as much as to
say, "Now thin, Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, there's a bitther chance for ye, mavourneen, for it's not
altogether the gentaal thing to be afther the squazing of my flipper right full in the sight of that little
furrenner Frinchman, Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns."
Wid that I giv'd her a big wink jist to say, "lit Sir Pathrick alone for the likes o' them thricks," and thin I
wint aisy to work, and you'd have died wid the divarsion to behould how cliverly I slipped my right arm
betwane the back o' the sofy, and the back of her leddyship, and there, sure enough, I found a swate little
flipper all a waiting to say, "the tip o' the mornin' to ye, Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt." And wasn't it
mesilf, sure, that jist giv'd it the laste little bit of a squaze in the world, all in the way of a commincement,
and not to be too rough wid her leddyship? and och, botheration, wasn't it the gentaalest and dilikittest of
all the little squazes that I got in return? "Blood and thunder, Sir Pathrick, mavourneen," thinks I to
mesilf, "fait it's jist the mother's son of you, and nobody else at all at all, that's the handsomest and the
fortunittest young bog-throtter that ever cum'd out of Connaught!" And with that I givd the flipper a big
squaze, and a big squaze it was, by the powers, that her leddyship giv'd to me back. But it would ha split
the seven sides of you wid the laffin' to behould, jist then all at once, the consated behavior of Mounseer
Maiter-di-dauns. The likes o' sich a jabbering, and a smirking, and a parley-wouing as he begin'd wid her
leddyship, niver was known before upon arth; and divil may burn me if it wasn't me own very two peepers
that cotch'd him tipping her the wink out of one eye. Och, hon! if it wasn't mesilf thin that was mad as a
Kilkenny cat I shud like to be tould who it was!
"Let me infarm you, Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns," said I, as purlite as iver ye seed, "that it's not the gintaal
thing at all at all, and not for the likes o' you inny how, to be afther the oggling and a goggling at her
leddyship in that fashion," and jist wid that such another squaze as it was I giv'd her flipper, all as much
as to say, "isn't it Sir Pathrick now, my jewel, that'll be able to the proticting o' you, my darlint?" and then
there cum'd another squaze back, all by way of the answer. "Thrue for you, Sir Pathrick," it said as plain
as iver a squaze said in the world, "Thrue for you, Sir Pathrick, mavourneen, and it's a proper nate
gintleman ye are -- that's God's truth," and with that she opened her two beautiful peepers till I belaved
they wud ha' cum'd out of her hid althegither and intirely, and she looked first as mad as a cat at
Mounseer Frog, and thin as smiling as all out o' doors at mesilf.
"Thin," says he, the willian, "Och hon! and a wolly-wou, pully-wou," and then wid that he shoved up his
two shoulders till the divil the bit of his hid was to be diskivered, and then he let down the two corners of
his purraty-trap, and thin not a haporth more of the satisfaction could I git out o' the spalpeen.
Belave me, my jewel, it was Sir Pathrick that was unreasonable mad thin, and the more by token that the
Frinchman kipt an wid his winking at the widdy; and the widdy she kept an wid the squazing of my
flipper, as much as to say, "At him again, Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, mavourneen:" so I just ripped out wid
a big oath, and says I;
"Ye little spalpeeny frog of a bog-throtting son of a bloody noun!" -- and jist thin what d'ye think it was
that her leddyship did? Troth she jumped up from the sofy as if she was bit, and made off through the
door, while I turned my head round afther her, in a complate bewilderment and botheration, and followed
her wid me two peepers. You percave I had a reason of my own for knowing that she couldn't git down the
stares althegither and intirely; for I knew very well that I had hould of her hand, for the divil the bit had I
iver lit it go. And says I; "Isn't it the laste little bit of a mistake in the world that ye've been afther the
making, yer leddyship? Come back now, that's a darlint, and I'll give ye yur flipper." But aff she wint down
the stairs like a shot, and thin I turned round to the little Frinch furrenner. Och hon! if it wasn't his
spalpeeny little paw that I had hould of in my own -- why thin -- thin it wasn't -- that's all.
And maybe it wasn't mesilf that jist died then outright wid the laffin', to behold the little chap when he
found out that it wasn't the widdy at all at all that he had had hould of all the time, but only Sir Pathrick
O'Grandison. The ould divil himself niver behild sich a long face as he pet an! As for Sir Pathrick
O'Grandison, Barronitt, it wasn't for the likes of his riverence to be afther the minding of a thrifle of a
mistake. Ye may jist say, though (for it's God's thruth), that afore I left hould of the flipper of the spalpeen
(which was not till afther her leddyship's futman had kicked us both down the stairs, I giv'd it such a nate
little broth of a squaze as made it all up into raspberry jam.
And that's jist the thruth of the rason why he wears his lift hand in a sling.
WILLIAM WILSON
What say of it? what say of CONSCIENCE grim, That spectre in my path?
Chamberlayne's Pharronida.
LET me call myself, for the present, William Wilson. The fair page now lying before me need not be sullied
with my real appellation. This has been already too much an object for the scorn -- for the horror -- for the
detestation of my race. To the uttermost regions of the globe have not the indignant winds bruited its
unparalleled infamy? Oh, outcast of all outcasts most abandoned! -- to the earth art thou not forever
dead? to its honors, to its flowers, to its golden aspirations? -- and a cloud, dense, dismal, and limitless,
does it not hang eternally between thy hopes and heaven?
I would not, if I could, here or to-day, embody a record of my later years of unspeakable misery, and
unpardonable crime. This epoch -- these later years -- took unto themselves a sudden elevation in
turpitude, whose origin alone it is my present purpose to assign. Men usually grow base by degrees. From
me, in an instant, all virtue dropped bodily as a mantle. From comparatively trivial wickedness I passed,
with the stride of a giant, into more than the enormities of an Elah-Gabalus. What chance -- what one
event brought this evil thing to pass, bear with me while I relate. Death approaches; and the shadow
which foreruns him has thrown a softening influence over my spirit. I long, in passing through the dim
valley, for the sympathy -- I had nearly said for the pity -- of my fellow men. I would fain have them believe
that I have been, in some measure, the slave of circumstances beyond human control. I would wish them
to seek out for me, in the details I am about to give, some little oasis of fatality amid a wilderness of error.
I would have them allow -- what they cannot refrain from allowing -- that, although temptation may have
erewhile existed as great, man was never thus, at least, tempted before -- certainly, never thus fell. And is
it therefore that he has never thus suffered? Have I not indeed been living in a dream? And am I not now
dying a victim to the horror and the mystery of the wildest of all sublunary visions?
I am the descendant of a race whose imaginative and easily excitable temperament has at all times
rendered them remarkable; and, in my earliest infancy, I gave evidence of having fully inherited the family
character. As I advanced in years it was more strongly developed; becoming, for many reasons, a cause of
serious disquietude to my friends, and of positive injury to myself. I grew self-willed, addicted to the
wildest caprices, and a prey to the most ungovernable passions. Weak-minded, and beset with
constitutional infirmities akin to my own, my parents could do but little to check the evil propensities
which distinguished me. Some feeble and ill-directed efforts resulted in complete failure on their part,
and, of course, in total triumph on mine. Thenceforward my voice was a household law; and at an age
when few children have abandoned their leading-strings, I was left to the guidance of my own will, and
became, in all but name, the master of my own actions.
My earliest recollections of a school-life, are connected with a large, rambling, Elizabethan house, in a
misty-looking village of England, where were a vast number of gigantic and gnarled trees, and where all
the houses were excessively ancient. In truth, it was a dream-like and spirit-soothing place, that
venerable old town. At this moment, in fancy, I feel the refreshing chilliness of its deeply-shadowed
avenues, inhale the fragrance of its thousand shrubberies, and thrill anew with undefinable delight, at the
deep hollow note of the church-bell, breaking, each hour, with sullen and sudden roar, upon the stillness
of the dusky atmosphere in which the fretted Gothic steeple lay imbedded and asleep.
It gives me, perhaps, as much of pleasure as I can now in any manner experience, to dwell upon minute
recollections of the school and its concerns. Steeped in misery as I am -- misery, alas! only too real -- I
shall be pardoned for seeking relief, however slight and temporary, in the weakness of a few rambling
details. These, moreover, utterly trivial, and even ridiculous in themselves, assume, to my fancy,
adventitious importance, as connected with a period and a locality when and where I recognise the first
ambiguous monitions of the destiny which afterwards so fully overshadowed me. Let me then remember.
The house, I have said, was old and irregular. The grounds were extensive, and a high and solid brick
wall, topped with a bed of mortar and broken glass, encompassed the whole. This prison-like rampart
formed the limit of our domain; beyond it we saw but thrice a week -- once every Saturday afternoon,
when, attended by two ushers, we were permitted to take brief walks in a body through some of the
neighbouring fields -- and twice during Sunday, when we were paraded in the same formal manner to the
morning and evening service in the one church of the village. Of this church the principal of our school
was pastor. With how deep a spirit of wonder and perplexity was I wont to regard him from our remote
pew in the gallery, as, with step solemn and slow, he ascended the pulpit! This reverend man, with
countenance so demurely benign, with robes so glossy and so clerically flowing, with wig so minutely
powdered, so rigid and so vast, -- -could this be he who, of late, with sour visage, and in snuffy
habiliments, administered, ferule in hand, the Draconian laws of the academy? Oh, gigantic paradox, too
utterly monstrous for solution!
At an angle of the ponderous wall frowned a more ponderous gate. It was riveted and studded with iron
bolts, and surmounted with jagged iron spikes. What impressions of deep awe did it inspire! It was never
opened save for the three periodical egressions and ingressions already mentioned; then, in every creak
of its mighty hinges, we found a plenitude of mystery -- a world of matter for solemn remark, or for more
solemn meditation.
The extensive enclosure was irregular in form, having many capacious recesses. Of these, three or four of
the largest constituted the play-ground. It was level, and covered with fine hard gravel. I well remember
it had no trees, nor benches, nor anything similar within it. Of course it was in the rear of the house. In
front lay a small parterre, planted with box and other shrubs; but through this sacred division we passed
only upon rare occasions indeed -- such as a first advent to school or final departure thence, or perhaps,
when a parent or friend having called for us, we joyfully took our way home for the Christmas or
Midsummer holy-days.
But the house! -- how quaint an old building was this! -- to me how veritably a palace of enchantment!
There was really no end to its windings -- to its incomprehensible subdivisions. It was difficult, at any
given time, to say with certainty upon which of its two stories one happened to be. From each room to
every other there were sure to be found three or four steps either in ascent or descent. Then the lateral
branches were innumerable -- inconceivable -- and so returning in upon themselves, that our most exact
ideas in regard to the whole mansion were not very far different from those with which we pondered upon
infinity. During the five years of my residence here, I was never able to ascertain with precision, in what
remote locality lay the little sleeping apartment assigned to myself and some eighteen or twenty other
scholars.
The school-room was the largest in the house -- I could not help thinking, in the world. It was very long,
narrow, and dismally low, with pointed Gothic windows and a ceiling of oak. In a remote and terror-
inspiring angle was a square enclosure of eight or ten feet, comprising the sanctum, "during hours," of
our principal, the Reverend Dr. Bransby. It was a solid structure, with massy door, sooner than open
which in the absence of the "Dominic," we would all have willingly perished by the peine forte et dure. In
other angles were two other similar boxes, far less reverenced, indeed, but still greatly matters of awe.
One of these was the pulpit of the "classical" usher, one of the "English and mathematical." Interspersed
about the room, crossing and recrossing in endless irregularity, were innumerable benches and desks,
black, ancient, and time-worn, piled desperately with much-bethumbed books, and so beseamed with
initial letters, names at full length, grotesque figures, and other multiplied efforts of the knife, as to have
entirely lost what little of original form might have been their portion in days long departed. A huge
bucket with water stood at one extremity of the room, and a clock of stupendous dimensions at the other.
Encompassed by the massy walls of this venerable academy, I passed, yet not in tedium or disgust, the
years of the third lustrum of my life. The teeming brain of childhood requires no external world of
incident to occupy or amuse it; and the apparently dismal monotony of a school was replete with more
intense excitement than my riper youth has derived from luxury, or my full manhood from crime. Yet I
must believe that my first mental development had in it much of the uncommon -- even much of the outre.
Upon mankind at large the events of very early existence rarely leave in mature age any definite
impression. All is gray shadow -- a weak and irregular remembrance -- an indistinct regathering of feeble
pleasures and phantasmagoric pains. With me this is not so. In childhood I must have felt with the energy
of a man what I now find stamped upon memory in lines as vivid, as deep, and as durable as the exergues
of the Carthaginian medals.
Yet in fact -- in the fact of the world's view -- how little was there to remember! The morning's awakening,
the nightly summons to bed; the connings, the recitations; the periodical half-holidays, and
perambulations; the play-ground, with its broils, its pastimes, its intrigues; -- these, by a mental sorcery
long forgotten, were made to involve a wilderness of sensation, a world of rich incident, an universe of
varied emotion, of excitement the most passionate and spirit-stirring. "Oh, le bon temps, que ce siecle de
fer!"
In truth, the ardor, the enthusiasm, and the imperiousness of my disposition, soon rendered me a marked
character among my schoolmates, and by slow, but natural gradations, gave me an ascendancy over all
not greatly older than myself; -- over all with a single exception. This exception was found in the person of
a scholar, who, although no relation, bore the same Christian and surname as myself; -- a circumstance, in
fact, little remarkable; for, notwithstanding a noble descent, mine was one of those everyday appellations
which seem, by prescriptive right, to have been, time out of mind, the common property of the mob. In
this narrative I have therefore designated myself as William Wilson, -- a fictitious title not very dissimilar
to the real. My namesake alone, of those who in school phraseology constituted "our set," presumed to
compete with me in the studies of the class -- in the sports and broils of the play-ground -- to refuse
implicit belief in my assertions, and submission to my will -- indeed, to interfere with my arbitrary
dictation in any respect whatsoever. If there is on earth a supreme and unqualified despotism, it is the
despotism of a master mind in boyhood over the less energetic spirits of its companions.
Wilson's rebellion was to me a source of the greatest embarrassment; -- the more so as, in spite of the
bravado with which in public I made a point of treating him and his pretensions, I secretly felt that I
feared him, and could not help thinking the equality which he maintained so easily with myself, a proof of
his true superiority; since not to be overcome cost me a perpetual struggle. Yet this superiority -- even
this equality -- was in truth acknowledged by no one but myself; our associates, by some unaccountable
blindness, seemed not even to suspect it. Indeed, his competition, his resistance, and especially his
impertinent and dogged interference with my purposes, were not more pointed than private. He appeared
to be destitute alike of the ambition which urged, and of the passionate energy of mind which enabled me
to excel. In his rivalry he might have been supposed actuated solely by a whimsical desire to thwart,
astonish, or mortify myself; although there were times when I could not help observing, with a feeling
made up of wonder, abasement, and pique, that he mingled with his injuries, his insults, or his
contradictions, a certain most inappropriate, and assuredly most unwelcome affectionateness of manner. I
could only conceive this singular behavior to arise from a consummate self-conceit assuming the vulgar
airs of patronage and protection.
Perhaps it was this latter trait in Wilson's conduct, conjoined with our identity of name, and the mere
accident of our having entered the school upon the same day, which set afloat the notion that we were
brothers, among the senior classes in the academy. These do not usually inquire with much strictness into
the affairs of their juniors. I have before said, or should have said, that Wilson was not, in the most
remote degree, connected with my family. But assuredly if we had been brothers we must have been
twins; for, after leaving Dr. Bransby's, I casually learned that my namesake was born on the nineteenth of
January, 1813 -- and this is a somewhat remarkable coincidence; for the day is precisely that of my own
nativity.
It may seem strange that in spite of the continual anxiety occasioned me by the rivalry of Wilson, and his
intolerable spirit of contradiction, I could not bring myself to hate him altogether. We had, to be sure,
nearly every day a quarrel in which, yielding me publicly the palm of victory, he, in some manner,
contrived to make me feel that it was he who had deserved it; yet a sense of pride on my part, and a
veritable dignity on his own, kept us always upon what are called "speaking terms," while there were
many points of strong congeniality in our tempers, operating to awake me in a sentiment which our
position alone, perhaps, prevented from ripening into friendship. It is difficult, indeed, to define, or even
to describe, my real feelings towards him. They formed a motley and heterogeneous admixture; -- some
petulant animosity, which was not yet hatred, some esteem, more respect, much fear, with a world of
uneasy curiosity. To the moralist it will be unnecessary to say, in addition, that Wilson and myself were the
most inseparable of companions.
It was no doubt the anomalous state of affairs existing between us, which turned all my attacks upon him,
(and they were many, either open or covert) into the channel of banter or practical joke (giving pain while
assuming the aspect of mere fun) rather than into a more serious and determined hostility. But my
endeavours on this head were by no means uniformly successful, even when my plans were the most
wittily concocted; for my namesake had much about him, in character, of that unassuming and quiet
austerity which, while enjoying the poignancy of its own jokes, has no heel of Achilles in itself, and
absolutely refuses to be laughed at. I could find, indeed, but one vulnerable point, and that, lying in a
personal peculiarity, arising, perhaps, from constitutional disease, would have been spared by any
antagonist less at his wit's end than myself; -- my rival had a weakness in the faucal or guttural organs,
which precluded him from raising his voice at any time above a very low whisper. Of this defect I did not
fall to take what poor advantage lay in my power.
Wilson's retaliations in kind were many; and there was one form of his practical wit that disturbed me
beyond measure. How his sagacity first discovered at all that so petty a thing would vex me, is a question
I never could solve; but, having discovered, he habitually practised the annoyance. I had always felt
aversion to my uncourtly patronymic, and its very common, if not plebeian praenomen. The words were
venom in my ears; and when, upon the day of my arrival, a second William Wilson came also to the
academy, I felt angry with him for bearing the name, and doubly disgusted with the name because a
stranger bore it, who would be the cause of its twofold repetition, who would be constantly in my
presence, and whose concerns, in the ordinary routine of the school business, must inevitably, on account
of the detestable coincidence, be often confounded with my own.
The feeling of vexation thus engendered grew stronger with every circumstance tending to show
resemblance, moral or physical, between my rival and myself. I had not then discovered the remarkable
fact that we were of the same age; but I saw that we were of the same height, and I perceived that we
were even singularly alike in general contour of person and outline of feature. I was galled, too, by the
rumor touching a relationship, which had grown current in the upper forms. In a word, nothing could
more seriously disturb me, (although I scrupulously concealed such disturbance,) than any allusion to a
similarity of mind, person, or condition existing between us. But, in truth, I had no reason to believe that
(with the exception of the matter of relationship, and in the case of Wilson himself,) this similarity had
ever been made a subject of comment, or even observed at all by our schoolfellows. That he observed it in
all its bearings, and as fixedly as I, was apparent; but that he could discover in such circumstances so
fruitful a field of annoyance, can only be attributed, as I said before, to his more than ordinary
penetration.
His cue, which was to perfect an imitation of myself, lay both in words and in actions; and most admirably
did he play his part. My dress it was an easy matter to copy; my gait and general manner were, without
difficulty, appropriated; in spite of his constitutional defect, even my voice did not escape him. My louder
tones were, of course, unattempted, but then the key, it was identical; and his singular whisper, it grew
the very echo of my own.
How greatly this most exquisite portraiture harassed me, (for it could not justly be termed a caricature,) I
will not now venture to describe. I had but one consolation -- in the fact that the imitation, apparently, was
noticed by myself alone, and that I had to endure only the knowing and strangely sarcastic smiles of my
namesake himself. Satisfied with having produced in my bosom the intended effect, he seemed to chuckle
in secret over the sting he had inflicted, and was characteristically disregardful of the public applause
which the success of his witty endeavours might have so easily elicited. That the school, indeed, did not
feel his design, perceive its accomplishment, and participate in his sneer, was, for many anxious months,
a riddle I could not resolve. Perhaps the gradation of his copy rendered it not so readily perceptible; or,
more possibly, I owed my security to the master air of the copyist, who, disdaining the letter, (which in a
painting is all the obtuse can see,) gave but the full spirit of his original for my individual contemplation
and chagrin.
I have already more than once spoken of the disgusting air of patronage which he assumed toward me,
and of his frequent officious interference withy my will. This interference often took the ungracious
character of advice; advice not openly given, but hinted or insinuated. I received it with a repugnance
which gained strength as I grew in years. Yet, at this distant day, let me do him the simple justice to
acknowledge that I can recall no occasion when the suggestions of my rival were on the side of those
errors or follies so usual to his immature age and seeming inexperience; that his moral sense, at least, if
not his general talents and worldly wisdom, was far keener than my own; and that I might, to-day, have
been a better, and thus a happier man, had I less frequently rejected the counsels embodied in those
meaning whispers which I then but too cordially hated and too bitterly despised.
As it was, I at length grew restive in the extreme under his distasteful supervision, and daily resented
more and more openly what I considered his intolerable arrogance. I have said that, in the first years of
our connexion as schoolmates, my feelings in regard to him might have been easily ripened into
friendship: but, in the latter months of my residence at the academy, although the intrusion of his
ordinary manner had, beyond doubt, in some measure, abated, my sentiments, in nearly similar
proportion, partook very much of positive hatred. Upon one occasion he saw this, I think, and afterwards
avoided, or made a show of avoiding me.
It was about the same period, if I remember aright, that, in an altercation of violence with him, in which
he was more than usually thrown off his guard, and spoke and acted with an openness of demeanor rather
foreign to his nature, I discovered, or fancied I discovered, in his accent, his air, and general appearance,
a something which first startled, and then deeply interested me, by bringing to mind dim visions of my
earliest infancy -- wild, confused and thronging memories of a time when memory herself was yet unborn.
I cannot better describe the sensation which oppressed me than by saying that I could with difficulty
shake off the belief of my having been acquainted with the being who stood before me, at some epoch
very long ago -- some point of the past even infinitely remote. The delusion, however, faded rapidly as it
came; and I mention it at all but to define the day of the last conversation I there held with my singular
namesake.
The huge old house, with its countless subdivisions, had several large chambers communicating with each
other, where slept the greater number of the students. There were, however, (as must necessarily happen
in a building so awkwardly planned,) many little nooks or recesses, the odds and ends of the structure;
and these the economic ingenuity of Dr. Bransby had also fitted up as dormitories; although, being the
merest closets, they were capable of accommodating but a single individual. One of these small
apartments was occupied by Wilson.
One night, about the close of my fifth year at the school, and immediately after the altercation just
mentioned, finding every one wrapped in sleep, I arose from bed, and, lamp in hand, stole through a
wilderness of narrow passages from my own bedroom to that of my rival. I had long been plotting one of
those ill-natured pieces of practical wit at his expense in which I had hitherto been so uniformly
unsuccessful. It was my intention, now, to put my scheme in operation, and I resolved to make him feel
the whole extent of the malice with which I was imbued. Having reached his closet, I noiselessly entered,
leaving the lamp, with a shade over it, on the outside. I advanced a step, and listened to the sound of his
tranquil breathing. Assured of his being asleep, I returned, took the light, and with it again approached
the bed. Close curtains were around it, which, in the prosecution of my plan, I slowly and quietly
withdrew, when the bright rays fell vividly upon the sleeper, and my eyes, at the same moment, upon his
countenance. I looked; -- and a numbness, an iciness of feeling instantly pervaded my frame. My breast
heaved, my knees tottered, my whole spirit became possessed with an objectless yet intolerable horror.
Gasping for breath, I lowered the lamp in still nearer proximity to the face. Were these -- these the
lineaments of William Wilson? I saw, indeed, that they were his, but I shook as if with a fit of the ague in
fancying they were not. What was there about them to confound me in this manner? I gazed; -- while my
brain reeled with a multitude of incoherent thoughts. Not thus he appeared -- assuredly not thus -- in the
vivacity of his waking hours. The same name! the same contour of person! the same day of arrival at the
academy! And then his dogged and meaningless imitation of my gait, my voice, my habits, and my
manner! Was it, in truth, within the bounds of human possibility, that what I now saw was the result,
merely, of the habitual practice of this sarcastic imitation? Awe-stricken, and with a creeping shudder, I
extinguished the lamp, passed silently from the chamber, and left, at once, the halls of that old academy,
never to enter them again.
After a lapse of some months, spent at home in mere idleness, I found myself a student at Eton. The brief
interval had been sufficient to enfeeble my remembrance of the events at Dr. Bransby's, or at least to
effect a material change in the nature of the feelings with which I remembered them. The truth -- the
tragedy -- of the drama was no more. I could now find room to doubt the evidence of my senses; and
seldom called up the subject at all but with wonder at extent of human credulity, and a smile at the vivid
force of the imagination which I hereditarily possessed. Neither was this species of scepticism likely to be
diminished by the character of the life I led at Eton. The vortex of thoughtless folly into which I there so
immediately and so recklessly plunged, washed away all but the froth of my past hours, engulfed at once
every solid or serious impression, and left to memory only the veriest levities of a former existence.
I do not wish, however, to trace the course of my miserable profligacy here -- a profligacy which set at
defiance the laws, while it eluded the vigilance of the institution. Three years of folly, passed without
profit, had but given me rooted habits of vice, and added, in a somewhat unusual degree, to my bodily
stature, when, after a week of soulless dissipation, I invited a small party of the most dissolute students to
a secret carousal in my chambers. We met at a late hour of the night; for our debaucheries were to be
faithfully protracted until morning. The wine flowed freely, and there were not wanting other and perhaps
more dangerous seductions; so that the gray dawn had already faintly appeared in the east, while our
delirious extravagance was at its height. Madly flushed with cards and intoxication, I was in the act of
insisting upon a toast of more than wonted profanity, when my attention was suddenly diverted by the
violent, although partial unclosing of the door of the apartment, and by the eager voice of a servant from
without. He said that some person, apparently in great haste, demanded to speak with me in the hall.
Wildly excited with wine, the unexpected interruption rather delighted than surprised me. I staggered
forward at once, and a few steps brought me to the vestibule of the building. In this low and small room
there hung no lamp; and now no light at all was admitted, save that of the exceedingly feeble dawn which
made its way through the semi-circular window. As I put my foot over the threshold, I became aware of
the figure of a youth about my own height, and habited in a white kerseymere morning frock, cut in the
novel fashion of the one I myself wore at the moment. This the faint light enabled me to perceive; but the
features of his face I could not distinguish. Upon my entering he strode hurriedly up to me, and, seizing
me by. the arm with a gesture of petulant impatience, whispered the words "William Wilson!" in my ear.
I grew perfectly sober in an instant. There was that in the manner of the stranger, and in the tremulous
shake of his uplifted finger, as he held it between my eyes and the light, which filled me with unqualified
amazement; but it was not this which had so violently moved me. It was the pregnancy of solemn
admonition in the singular, low, hissing utterance; and, above all, it was the character, the tone, the key, of
those few, simple, and familiar, yet whispered syllables, which came with a thousand thronging memories
of bygone days, and struck upon my soul with the shock of a galvanic battery. Ere I could recover the use
of my senses he was gone.
Although this event failed not of a vivid effect upon my disordered imagination, yet was it evanescent as
vivid. For some weeks, indeed, I busied myself in earnest inquiry, or was wrapped in a cloud of morbid
speculation. I did not pretend to disguise from my perception the identity of the singular individual who
thus perseveringly interfered with my affairs, and harassed me with his insinuated counsel. But who and
what was this Wilson? -- and whence came he? -- and what were his purposes? Upon neither of these
points could I be satisfied; merely ascertaining, in regard to him, that a sudden accident in his family had
caused his removal from Dr. Bransby's academy on the afternoon of the day in which I myself had eloped.
But in a brief period I ceased to think upon the subject; my attention being all absorbed in a contemplated
departure for Oxford. Thither I soon went; the uncalculating vanity of my parents furnishing me with an
outfit and annual establishment, which would enable me to indulge at will in the luxury already so dear to
my heart, -- to vie in profuseness of expenditure with the haughtiest heirs of the wealthiest earldoms in
Great Britain.
Excited by such appliances to vice, my constitutional temperament broke forth with redoubled ardor, and
I spurned even the common restraints of decency in the mad infatuation of my revels. But it were absurd
to pause in the detail of my extravagance. Let it suffice, that among spendthrifts I out-Heroded Herod,
and that, giving name to a multitude of novel follies, I added no brief appendix to the long catalogue of
vices then usual in the most dissolute university of Europe.
It could hardly be credited, however, that I had, even here, so utterly fallen from the gentlemanly estate,
as to seek acquaintance with the vilest arts of the gambler by profession, and, having become an adept in
his despicable science, to practise it habitually as a means of increasing my already enormous income at
the expense of the weak-minded among my fellow-collegians. Such, nevertheless, was the fact. And the
very enormity of this offence against all manly and honourable sentiment proved, beyond doubt, the main
if not the sole reason of the impunity with which it was committed. Who, indeed, among my most
abandoned associates, would not rather have disputed the clearest evidence of his senses, than have
suspected of such courses, the gay, the frank, the generous William Wilson -- the noblest and most
commoner at Oxford -- him whose follies (said his parasites) were but the follies of youth and unbridled
fancy -- whose errors but inimitable whim -- whose darkest vice but a careless and dashing extravagance?
I had been now two years successfully busied in this way, when there came to the university a young
parvenu nobleman, Glendinning -- rich, said report, as Herodes Atticus -- his riches, too, as easily
acquired. I soon found him of weak intellect, and, of course, marked him as a fitting subject for my skill. I
frequently engaged him in play, and contrived, with the gambler's usual art, to let him win considerable
sums, the more effectually to entangle him in my snares. At length, my schemes being ripe, I met him
(with the full intention that this meeting should be final and decisive) at the chambers of a fellow-
commoner, (Mr. Preston,) equally intimate with both, but who, to do him Justice, entertained not even a
remote suspicion of my design. To give to this a better colouring, I had contrived to have assembled a
party of some eight or ten, and was solicitously careful that the introduction of cards should appear
accidental, and originate in the proposal of my contemplated dupe himself. To be brief upon a vile topic,
none of the low finesse was omitted, so customary upon similar occasions that it is a just matter for
wonder how any are still found so besotted as to fall its victim.
We had protracted our sitting far into the night, and I had at length effected the manoeuvre of getting
Glendinning as my sole antagonist. The game, too, was my favorite ecarte! The rest of the company,
interested in the extent of our play, had abandoned their own cards, and were standing around us as
spectators. The parvenu, who had been induced by my artifices in the early part of the evening, to drink
deeply, now shuffled, dealt, or played, with a wild nervousness of manner for which his intoxication, I
thought, might partially, but could not altogether account. In a very short period he had become my
debtor to a large amount, when, having taken a long draught of port, he did precisely what I had been
coolly anticipating -- he proposed to double our already extravagant stakes. With a well-feigned show of
reluctance, and not until after my repeated refusal had seduced him into some angry words which gave a
color of pique to my compliance, did I finally comply. The result, of course, did but prove how entirely the
prey was in my toils; in less than an hour he had quadrupled his debt. For some time his countenance had
been losing the florid tinge lent it by the wine; but now, to my astonishment, I perceived that it had grown
to a pallor truly fearful. I say to my astonishment. Glendinning had been represented to my eager
inquiries as immeasurably wealthy; and the sums which he had as yet lost, although in themselves vast,
could not, I supposed, very seriously annoy, much less so violently affect him. That he was overcome by
the wine just swallowed, was the idea which most readily presented itself; and, rather with a view to the
preservation of my own character in the eyes of my associates, than from any less interested motive, I
was about to insist, peremptorily, upon a discontinuance of the play, when some expressions at my elbow
from among the company, and an ejaculation evincing utter despair on the part of Glendinning, gave me
to understand that I had effected his total ruin under circumstances which, rendering him an object for
the pity of all, should have protected him from the ill offices even of a fiend.
What now might have been my conduct it is difficult to say. The pitiable condition of my dupe had thrown
an air of embarrassed gloom over all; and, for some moments, a profound silence was maintained, during
which I could not help feeling my cheeks tingle with the many burning glances of scorn or reproach cast
upon me by the less abandoned of the party. I will even own that an intolerable weight of anxiety was for
a brief instant lifted from my bosom by the sudden and extraordinary interruption which ensued. The
wide, heavy folding doors of the apartment were all at once thrown open, to their full extent, with a
vigorous and rushing impetuosity that extinguished, as if by magic, every candle in the room. Their light,
in dying, enabled us just to perceive that a stranger had entered, about my own height, and closely
muffled in a cloak. The darkness, however, was now total; and we could only feel that he was standing in
our midst. Before any one of us could recover from the extreme astonishment into which this rudeness
had thrown all, we heard the voice of the intruder.
"Gentlemen," he said, in a low, distinct, and never-to-be-forgotten whisper which thrilled to the very
marrow of my bones, "Gentlemen, I make no apology for this behaviour, because in thus behaving, I am
but fulfilling a duty. You are, beyond doubt, uninformed of the true character of the person who has to-
night won at ecarte a large sum of money from Lord Glendinning. I will therefore put you upon an
expeditious and decisive plan of obtaining this very necessary information. Please to examine, at your
leisure, the inner linings of the cuff of his left sleeve, and the several little packages which may be found
in the somewhat capacious pockets of his embroidered morning wrapper."
While he spoke, so profound was the stillness that one might have heard a pin drop upon the floor. In
ceasing, he departed at once, and as abruptly as he had entered. Can I -- shall I describe my sensations? --
must I say that I felt all the horrors of the damned? Most assuredly I had little time given for reflection.
Many hands roughly seized me upon the spot, and lights were immediately reprocured. A search ensued.
In the lining of my sleeve were found all the court cards essential in ecarte, and, in the pockets of my
wrapper, a number of packs, facsimiles of those used at our sittings, with the single exception that mine
were of the species called, technically, arrondees; the honours being slightly convex at the ends, the lower
cards slightly convex at the sides. In this disposition, the dupe who cuts, as customary, at the length of the
pack, will invariably find that he cuts his antagonist an honor; while the gambler, cutting at the breadth,
will, as certainly, cut nothing for his victim which may count in the records of the game.
Any burst of indignation upon this discovery would have affected me less than the silent contempt, or the
sarcastic composure, with which it was received.
"Mr. Wilson," said our host, stooping to remove from beneath his feet an exceedingly luxurious cloak of
rare furs, "Mr. Wilson, this is your property." (The weather was cold; and, upon quitting my own room, I
had thrown a cloak over my dressing wrapper, putting it off upon reaching the scene of play.) "I presume
it is supererogatory to seek here (eyeing the folds of the garment with a bitter smile) for any farther
evidence of your skill. Indeed, we have had enough. You will see the necessity, I hope, of quitting Oxford --
at all events, of quitting instantly my chambers."
Abased, humbled to the dust as I then was, it is probable that I should have resented this galling language
by immediate personal violence, had not my whole attention been at the moment arrested by a fact of the
most startling character. The cloak which I had worn was of a rare description of fur; how rare, how
extravagantly costly, I shall not venture to say. Its fashion, too, was of my own fantastic invention; for I
was fastidious to an absurd degree of coxcombry, in matters of this frivolous nature. When, therefore, Mr.
Preston reached me that which he had picked up upon the floor, and near the folding doors of the
apartment, it was with an astonishment nearly bordering upon terror, that I perceived my own already
hanging on my arm, (where I had no doubt unwittingly placed it,) and that the one presented me was but
its exact counterpart in every, in even the minutest possible particular. The singular being who had so
disastrously exposed me, had been muffled, I remembered, in a cloak; and none had been worn at all by
any of the members of our party with the exception of myself. Retaining some presence of mind, I took the
one offered me by Preston; placed it, unnoticed, over my own; left the apartment with a resolute scowl of
defiance; and, next morning ere dawn of day, commenced a hurried journey from Oxford to the continent,
in a perfect agony of horror and of shame.
I fled in vain. My evil destiny pursued me as if in exultation, and proved, indeed, that the exercise of its
mysterious dominion had as yet only begun. Scarcely had I set foot in Paris ere I had fresh evidence of the
detestable interest taken by this Wilson in my concerns. Years flew, while I experienced no relief. Villain! -
- at Rome, with how untimely, yet with how spectral an officiousness, stepped he in between me and my
ambition! At Vienna, too -- at Berlin -- and at Moscow! Where, in truth, had I not bitter cause to curse him
within my heart? From his inscrutable tyranny did I at length flee, panic-stricken, as from a pestilence;
and to the very ends of the earth I fled in vain.
And again, and again, in secret communion with my own spirit, would I demand the questions "Who is he?
-- whence came he? -- and what are his objects?" But no answer was there found. And then I scrutinized,
with a minute scrutiny, the forms, and the methods, and the leading traits of his impertinent supervision.
But even here there was very little upon which to base a conjecture. It was noticeable, indeed, that, in no
one of the multiplied instances in which he had of late crossed my path, had he so crossed it except to
frustrate those schemes, or to disturb those actions, which, if fully carried out, might have resulted in
bitter mischief. Poor justification this, in truth, for an authority so imperiously assumed! Poor indemnity
for natural rights of self-agency so pertinaciously, so insultingly denied!
I had also been forced to notice that my tormentor, for a very long period of time, (while scrupulously and
with miraculous dexterity maintaining his whim of an identity of apparel with myself,) had so contrived it,
in the execution of his varied interference with my will, that I saw not, at any moment, the features of his
face. Be Wilson what he might, this, at least, was but the veriest of affectation, or of folly. Could he, for an
instant, have supposed that, in my admonisher at Eton -- in the destroyer of my honor at Oxford, -- in him
who thwarted my ambition at Rome, my revenge at Paris, my passionate love at Naples, or what he falsely
termed my avarice in Egypt, -- that in this, my arch-enemy and evil genius, could fall to recognise the
William Wilson of my school boy days, -- the namesake, the companion, the rival, -- the hated and dreaded
rival at Dr. Bransby's? Impossible! -- But let me hasten to the last eventful scene of the drama.
Thus far I had succumbed supinely to this imperious domination. The sentiment of deep awe with which I
habitually regarded the elevated character, the majestic wisdom, the apparent omnipresence and
omnipotence of Wilson, added to a feeling of even terror, with which certain other traits in his nature and
assumptions inspired me, had operated, hitherto, to impress me with an idea of my own utter weakness
and helplessness, and to suggest an implicit, although bitterly reluctant submission to his arbitrary will.
But, of late days, I had given myself up entirely to wine; and its maddening influence upon my hereditary
temper rendered me more and more impatient of control. I began to murmur, -- to hesitate, -- to resist.
And was it only fancy which induced me to believe that, with the increase of my own firmness, that of my
tormentor underwent a proportional diminution? Be this as it may, I now began to feel the inspiration of a
burning hope, and at length nurtured in my secret thoughts a stern and desperate resolution that I would
submit no longer to be enslaved.
It was at Rome, during the Carnival of 18 -- , that I attended a masquerade in the palazzo of the
Neapolitan Duke Di Broglio. I had indulged more freely than usual in the excesses of the wine-table; and
now the suffocating atmosphere of the crowded rooms irritated me beyond endurance. The difficulty, too,
of forcing my way through the mazes of the company contributed not a little to the ruffling of my temper;
for I was anxiously seeking, (let me not say with what unworthy motive) the young, the gay, the beautiful
wife of the aged and doting Di Broglio. With a too unscrupulous confidence she had previously
communicated to me the secret of the costume in which she would be habited, and now, having caught a
glimpse of her person, I was hurrying to make my way into her presence. -- At this moment I felt a light
hand placed upon my shoulder, and that ever-remembered, low, damnable whisper within my ear.
In an absolute phrenzy of wrath, I turned at once upon him who had thus interrupted me, and seized him
violently by tile collar. He was attired, as I had expected, in a costume altogether similar to my own;
wearing a Spanish cloak of blue velvet, begirt about the waist with a crimson belt sustaining a rapier. A
mask of black silk entirely covered his face.
"Scoundrel!" I said, in a voice husky with rage, while every syllable I uttered seemed as new fuel to my
fury, "scoundrel! impostor! accursed villain! you shall not -- you shall not dog me unto death! Follow me,
or I stab you where you stand!" -- and I broke my way from the ball-room into a small ante-chamber
adjoining -- dragging him unresistingly with me as I went.
Upon entering, I thrust him furiously from me. He staggered against the wall, while I closed the door with
an oath, and commanded him to draw. He hesitated but for an instant; then, with a slight sigh, drew in
silence, and put himself upon his defence.
The contest was brief indeed. I was frantic with every species of wild excitement, and felt within my
single arm the energy and power of a multitude. In a few seconds I forced him by sheer strength against
the wainscoting, and thus, getting him at mercy, plunged my sword, with brute ferocity, repeatedly
through and through his bosom.
At that instant some person tried the latch of the door. I hastened to prevent an intrusion, and then
immediately returned to my dying antagonist. But what human language can adequately portray that
astonishment, that horror which possessed me at the spectacle then presented to view? The brief moment
in which I averted my eyes had been sufficient to produce, apparently, a material change in the
arrangements at the upper or farther end of the room. A large mirror, -- so at first it seemed to me in my
confusion -- now stood where none had been perceptible before; and, as I stepped up to it in extremity of
terror, mine own image, but with features all pale and dabbled in blood, advanced to meet me with a
feeble and tottering gait.
Thus it appeared, I say, but was not. It was my antagonist -- it was Wilson, who then stood before me in
the agonies of his dissolution. His mask and cloak lay, where he had thrown them, upon the floor. Not a
thread in all his raiment -- not a line in all the marked and singular lineaments of his face which was not,
even in the most absolute identity, mine own!
It was Wilson; but he spoke no longer in a whisper, and I could have fancied that I myself was speaking
while he said:
"You have conquered, and I yield. Yet, henceforward art thou also dead -- dead to the World, to Heaven
and to Hope! In me didst thou exist -- and, in my death, see by this image, which is thine own, how utterly
thou hast murdered thyself."
X-ING A PARAGRAB
AS it is well known that the 'wise men' came 'from the East,' and as Mr. Touch-and-go Bullet-head came
from the East, it follows that Mr. Bullet-head was a wise man; and if collateral proof of the matter be
needed, here we have it -- Mr. B. was an editor. Irascibility was his sole foible, for in fact the obstinacy of
which men accused him was anything b ut his foible, since he justly considered it his forte. It was his
strong point -- his virtue; and it would have required all the logic of a Brownson to convince him that it
was 'anything else.'
I have shown that Touch-and-go Bullet-head was a wise man; and the only occasion on which he did not
prove infallible, was when, abandoning that legitimate home for all wise men, the East, he migrated to the
city of Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, or some place of a similar title, out West.
I must do him the justice to say, however, that when he made up his mind finally to settle in that town, it
was under the impression that no newspaper, and consequently no editor, existed in that particular
section of the country. In establishing 'The Tea-Pot' he expected to have the field all to himself. I feel
confident he never would have dreamed of taking up his residence in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis had
he been aware that, in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, there lived a gentleman named John Smith (if I
rightly remember), who for many years had there quietly grown fat in editing and publishing the
'Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis Gazette.' It was solely, therefore, on account of having been misinformed,
that Mr. Bullet-head found himself in Alex-suppose we call it Nopolis, 'for short' -- but, as he did find
himself there, he determined to keep up his character for obst -- for firmness, and remain. So remain he
did; and he did more; he unpacked his press, type, etc., etc., rented an office exactly opposite to that of
the 'Gazette,' and, on the third morning after his arrival, issued the first number of 'The Alexan' -- that is
to say, of 'The Nopolis Tea-Pot' -- as nearly as I can recollect, this was the name of the new paper.
The leading article, I must admit, was brilliant -- not to say severe. It was especially bitter about things in
general -- and as for the editor of 'The Gazette,' he was torn all to pieces in particular. Some of
Bullethead's remarks were really so fiery that I have always, since that time, been forced to look upon
John Smith, who is still alive, in the light of a salamander. I cannot pretend to give all the 'Tea-Pot's'
paragraphs verbatim, but one of them runs thus:
'Oh, yes! -- Oh, we perceive! Oh, no doubt! The editor over the way is a genius -- O, my! Oh, goodness,
gracious! -- what is this world coming to? Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses!'
A philippic at once so caustic and so classical, alighted like a bombshell among the hitherto peaceful
citizens of Nopolis. Groups of excited individuals gathered at the corners of the streets. Every one
awaited, with heartfelt anxiety, the reply of the dignified Smith. Next morning it appeared as follows:
'We quote from "The Tea-Pot" of yesterday the subjoined paragraph: "Oh, yes! Oh, we perceive! Oh, no
doubt! Oh, my! Oh, goodness! Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses!" Why, the fellow is all O! That accounts for his
reasoning in a circle, and explains why there is neither beginning nor end to him, nor to anything he says.
We really do not believe the vagabond can write a word that hasn't an O in it. Wonder if this O-ing is a
habit of his? By-the-by, he came away from Down-East in a great hurry. Wonder if he O's as much there as
he does here? "O! it is pitiful."'
The indignation of Mr. Bullet-head at these scandalous insinuations, I shall not attempt to describe. On
the eel-skinning principle, however, he did not seem to be so much incensed at the attack upon his
integrity as one might have imagined. It was the sneer at his style that drove him to desperation. What! --
he Touch-and-go Bullet-head! -- not able to write a word without an O in it! He would soon let the
jackanapes see that he was mistaken. Yes! he would let him see how much he was mistaken, the puppy!
He, Touch-and-go Bullet-head, of Frogpondium, would let Mr. John Smith perceive that he, Bullet-head,
could indite, if it so pleased him, a whole paragraph -- aye! a whole article -- in which that contemptible
vowel should not once -- not even once -- make its appearance. But no; -- that would be yielding a point to
the said John Smith. He, Bullet-head, would make no alteration in his style, to suit the caprices of any Mr.
Smith in Christendom. Perish so vile a thought! The O forever; He would persist in the O. He would be as
O-wy as O-wy could be.
Burning with the chivalry of this determination, the great Touch-and-go, in the next 'Tea-Pot,' came out
merely with this simple but resolute paragraph, in reference to this unhappy affair:
'The editor of the "Tea-Pot" has the honor of advising the editor of the "Gazette" that he (the "Tea-Pot")
will take an opportunity in tomorrow morning's paper, of convincing him (the "Gazette") that he (the "Tea-
Pot") both can and will be his own master, as regards style; he (the "Tea-Pot") intending to show him (the
"Gazette") the supreme, and indeed the withering contempt with which the criticism of him (the
"Gazette") inspires the independent bosom of him (the "TeaPot") by composing for the especial
gratification (?) of him (the "Gazette") a leading article, of some extent, in which the beautiful vowel -- the
emblem of Eternity -- yet so offensive to the hyper-exquisite delicacy of him (the "Gazette") shall most
certainly not be avoided by his (the "Gazette's") most obedient, humble servant, the "Tea-Pot." "So much
for Buckingham!"'
In fulfilment of the awful threat thus darkly intimated rather than decidedly enunciated, the great Bullet-
head, turning a deaf ear to all entreaties for 'copy,' and simply requesting his foreman to 'go to the d-l,'
when he (the foreman) assured him (the 'Tea-Pot'!) that it was high time to 'go to press': turning a deaf
ear to everything, I say, the great Bullet-head sat up until day-break, consuming the midnight oil, and
absorbed in the composition of the really unparalleled paragraph, which follows:-
'So ho, John! how now? Told you so, you know. Don't crow, another time, before you're out of the woods!
Does your mother know you're out? Oh, no, no! -- so go home at once, now, John, to your odious old woods
of Concord! Go home to your woods, old owl -- go! You won't! Oh, poh, poh, don't do so! You've got to go,
you know! So go at once, and don't go slow, for nobody owns you here, you know! Oh! John, John, if you
don't go you're no homo -- no! You're only a fowl, an owl, a cow, a sow, -- a doll, a poll; a poor, old, good-
for-nothing-to-nobody, log, dog, hog, or frog, come out of a Concord bog. Cool, now -- cool! Do be cool,
you fool! None of your crowing, old cock! Don't frown so -- don't! Don't hollo, nor howl nor growl, nor
bow-wow-wow! Good Lord, John, how you do look! Told you so, you know -- but stop rolling your goose of
an old poll about so, and go and drown your sorrows in a bowl!'
Exhausted, very naturally, by so stupendous an effort, the great Touch-and-go could attend to nothing
farther that night. Firmly, composedly, yet with an air of conscious power, he handed his MS. to the devil
in waiting, and then, walking leisurely home, retired, with ineffable dignity to bed.
Meantime the devil, to whom the copy was entrusted, ran up stairs to his 'case,' in an unutterable hurry,
and forthwith made a commencement at 'setting' the MS. 'up.'
In the first place, of course, -- as the opening word was 'So,' -- he made a plunge into the capital S hole
and came out in triumph with a capital S. Elated by this success, he immediately threw himself upon the
little-o box with a blindfold impetuosity -- but who shall describe his horror when his fingers came up
without the anticipated letter in their clutch? who shall paint his astonishment and rage at perceiving, as
he rubbed his knuckles, that he had been only thumping them to no purpose, against the bottom of an
empty box. Not a single little-o was in the little-o hole; and, glancing fearfully at the capital-O partition, he
found that to his extreme terror, in a precisely similar predicament. Awe -- stricken, his first impulse was
to rush to the foreman.
'Sir!' said he, gasping for breath, 'I can't never set up nothing without no o's.'
'What do you mean by that?' growled the foreman, who was in a very ill humor at being kept so late.
'Why, sir, there beant an o in the office, neither a big un nor a little un!'
'What -- what the d-l has become of all that were in the case?'
'I don't know, sir,' said the boy, 'but one of them ere "G'zette" devils is bin prowling 'bout here all night,
and I spect he's gone and cabbaged 'em every one.'
'Dod rot him! I haven't a doubt of it,' replied the foreman, getting purple with rage 'but I tell you what you
do, Bob, that's a good boy -- you go over the first chance you get and hook every one of their i's and (d-n
them!) their izzards.'
'Jist so,' replied Bob, with a wink and a frown -- 'I'll be into 'em, I'll let 'em know a thing or two; but in de
meantime, that ere paragrab? Mus go in to-night, you know -- else there'll be the d-l to pay, and-'
'And not a bit of pitch hot,' interrupted the foreman, with a deep sigh, and an emphasis on the 'bit.' 'Is it a
long paragraph, Bob?'
'Ah, well, then! do the best you can with it! We must get to press,' said the foreman, who was over head
and ears in work; 'just stick in some other letter for o; nobody's going to read the fellow's trash anyhow.'
'Wery well,' replied Bob, 'here goes it!' and off he hurried to his case, muttering as he went: 'Considdeble
vell, them ere expressions, perticcler for a man as doesn't swar. So I's to gouge out all their eyes, eh? and
d-n all their gizzards! Vell! this here's the chap as is just able for to do it.' The fact is that although Bob
was but twelve years old and four feet high, he was equal to any amount of fight, in a small way.
The exigency here described is by no means of rare occurrence in printing-offices; and I cannot tell how
to account for it, but the fact is indisputable, that when the exigency does occur, it almost always happens
that x is adopted as a substitute for the letter deficient. The true reason, perhaps, is that x is rather the
most superabundant letter in the cases, or at least was so in the old times -- long enough to render the
substitution in question an habitual thing with printers. As for Bob, he would have considered it heretical
to employ any other character, in a case of this kind, than the x to which he had been accustomed.
'I shell have to x this ere paragrab,' said he to himself, as he read it over in astonishment, 'but it's jest
about the awfulest o-wy paragrab I ever did see': so x it he did, unflinchingly, and to press it went x-ed.
Next morning the population of Nopolis were taken all aback by reading in 'The Tea-Pot,' the following
extraordinary leader:
'Sx hx, Jxhn! hxw nxw? Txld yxu sx, yxu knxw. Dxn't crxw, anxther time, befxre yxu're xut xf the wxxds!
Dxes yxur mxther knxw yxu're xut? Xh, nx, nx! -- sx gx hxme at xnce, nxw, Jxhn, tx yxur xdixus xld wxxds
xf Cxncxrd! Gx hxme tx yxur wxxds, xld xwl, -- gx! Yxu wxn't? Xh, pxh, pxh, Jxhn, dxn't dx sx! Yxu've gxt tx
gx, yxu knxw, sx gx at xnce, and dxn't gx slxw; fxr nxbxdy xwns yxu here, yxu knxw. Xh, Jxhn, Jxhn, Jxhn, if
yxu dxn't gx yxu're nx hxmx -- nx! Yxu're xnly a fxwl, an xwl; a cxw, a sxw; a dxll, a pxll; a pxxr xld gxxd-
fxr-nxthing-tx-nxbxdy, lxg, dxg, hxg, xr frxg, cxme xut xf a Cxncxrd bxg. Cxxl, nxw -- cxxl! Dx be cxxl, yxu
fxxl! Nxne xf yxur crxwing, xld cxck! Dxn't frxwn sx -- dxn't! Dxn't hxllx, nxr hxwl, nxr grxwl, nxr bxw-
wxw-wxw! Gxxd Lxrd, Jxhn, hxw yxu dx lxxk! Txld yxu sx, yxu knxw, -- but stxp rxlling yxur gxxse xf an xld
pxll abxut sx, and gx and drxwn yxur sxrrxws in a bxwl!'
The uproar occasioned by this mystical and cabalistical article, is not to be conceived. The first definite
idea entertained by the populace was, that some diabolical treason lay concealed in the hieroglyphics;
and there was a general rush to Bullet-head's residence, for the purpose of riding him on a rail; but that
gentleman was nowhere to be found. He had vanished, no one could tell how; and not even the ghost of
him has ever been seen since.
Unable to discover its legitimate object, the popular fury at length subsided; leaving behind it, by way of
sediment, quite a medley of opinion about this unhappy affair.
Another said that, indeed, Bullet-head had shown much X-uberance of fancy.
A fourth could only suppose it the Yankee's design to X-press, in a general way, his X-asperation.
That Bullet-head had been driven to an extremity, was clear to all; and in fact, since that editor could not
be found, there was some talk about lynching the other one.
The more common conclusion, however, was that the affair was, simply, X-traordinary and in-X-plicable.
Even the town mathematician confessed that he could make nothing of so dark a problem. X, every. body
knew, was an unknown quantity; but in this case (as he properly observed), there was an unknown
quantity of X.
The opinion of Bob, the devil (who kept dark about his having 'X-ed the paragrab'), did not meet with so
much attention as I think it deserved, although it was very openly and very fearlessly expressed. He said
that, for his part, he had no doubt about the matter at all, that it was a clear case, that Mr. Bullet-head
'never could be persuaded fur to drink like other folks, but vas continually a-svigging o' that ere blessed
XXX ale, and as a naiteral consekvence, it just puffed him up savage, and made him X (cross) in the X-
treme.'
Table of Contents
The Angel of the Odd
The Assignation
Berenice
Bon-Bon
Diddling
Duc De L'Omelette
Eleonora
The Gold-Bug
Hop Frog
King Pest
Landor's Cottage
Landscape Garden
Ligeia
Lionizing
Loss of Breath
Mellonta Tauta
Mesmeric Revelation
Metzengerstein
Morella
Mystification
Oblong Box
Predicament
Shadow -- A Parable