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ASSIGNMENT BOOK
323
FACULTY OF EDUCATION, ART, AND HUMANITIES
Subject : Writing Skill
Topic : How to prevent divorce

Lecturer’s name: Mr. EN CHOMRONG

Student’s name: HI PISETH
HIENG MOUYENG
KANG KIMHEANG
KEO CHOEUN
KEAN KEACHSIM
KHOV OUN

Year: 2, Semester: 2, Batch: XV

Academic Year : 2020-2021

 Cause of Divorce

INFIDELITY
Extramarital affairs are a pretty obvious reason why people get divorced. But surprisingly, a large
number of married couples have dealt with infidelity issues and found a way to stay together. That doesn’t
mean you should roll the dice if you’re considering venturing outside the marriage. The reality is infidelity
fundamentally changes your marriage. It erodes trust and leads to a breakdown in communication. Sooner or
later, infidelity usually catches up with you which is why it is one of the leading causes of divorce. Even if
your marriage does survive, it will be fundamentally changed forever. You will end up admitting to being a
cheater, or you’ll end up carrying around a fair amount of guilt (assuming you have a conscience) for years.
People cheat for different reasons. Passion fades over time. The thrill with your spouse is gone, but the
desire for thrills remains. Sometimes it has to do with anger and resentment over something a spouse is
doing. Cheating may take place due to a lack of self-esteem. At other times, it may be something as simple
as a difference in sexual appetite or a lack of intimacy that needs to be satisfied. Infidelity may also start as a
casual relationship that evolves into an emotional affair, and then becomes a physical affair. That is often the
case with people in work situations who spend large amounts of time together.
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE
If there is a pattern of domestic abuse in a marriage, that’s certainly a valid reason to walk away from
your marriage. Many people think that abuse is only physical, but emotional and financial abuse are also
quite common. Yelling, neglect, constant displays of anger, withholding money, vulgar comments, and other
negative displays can be just as damaging. Abuse is not just directed at a spouse, either. Children,
grandparents, brothers and sisters, friends, or other people who live in the same home for any reason can be
targets of abuse as well. Threats to their wellbeing are just as concerning as any threats to a spouse. In some
cases, a marriage may just be going through a rough patch (as many marriages do), and any abuse may be
out of character. In some cases, domestic violence may be coupled with external issues such as substance
abuse, the loss of a job, or the death of a close friend or family member. In these cases, a person may be
emotionally wounded and can be helped to heal over time. However, in cases where abuse is physical and
ongoing, especially when children are involved, being together can be dangerous. Staying in a chronically
abusive relationship is not healthy, and it is not safe.
GETTING MARRIED AT AN EARLY AGE
One big reason couples cite for getting a divorce is not being fully prepared for what marriage is all
about. Divorce rates are highest for couples who are in their 20s, and almost half of all divorces take place
within the first ten years of marriage. Couples who get married at an early age are more likely to face more
money issues because their careers are not established yet. In some cases, they have not matured and do not
understand how to communicate effectively. Without experience to guide them, a lack of maturity will often
overtake a calmer approach to marital problems. Young marriage problems can be further aggravated when
a couple decides to have children at an early age as well. The amount of energy, effort, and financial
resources required to engage in parenting can challenge a couple at any age. But when parents are still
children themselves in some ways, the burdens of being a parent are overwhelming. Getting married later in
life means you have experienced more of what life is about. You tend to draw on more experiences and have
a better understanding of how to deal with hardship. You have also been living on your own for a more
extended period, so you better know what is required to meet the demands of living day-to-day. If you have
been financially prudent and saved for those inevitable rainy days that are sure to come, you’re in a better
position to calmly react to setbacks, instead of lashing out and undermining your marriage.
Effect of Divorce
Influence on the kids
Divorce is difficult for all members of the family especially children. For children, trying to
understand the changing dynamics of the family may leave them distracted and confused. This interruption
in their daily focus can mean one of the effects of divorce on children would be seen in their academic
performance. The more distracted children are, the more likely they are to not be able to focus on their
school work.
Children often wonder why a divorce is happening in their family. They will look for reasons,
wondering if their parents no longer love each other, or if they have done something wrong. These feelings
of guilt are a very common effect of divorce on children, but also one which can lead to many other issues.
Guilt increases pressure, can lead to depression, stress, and other health problems. Providing context and
counseling for a child to understand their role in a divorce can help reduce these feelings of guilt.
Divorce can bring several types of emotions to the forefront for a family, and the children involved
are no different. Feelings of loss, anger, confusion, anxiety, and many others, all may come from this
transition. Divorce can leave children feeling overwhelmed and emotionally sensitive. Children need an
outlet for their emotions – someone to talk to, someone who will listen, etc. – children may feel effects of
divorce through how they process their emotions.
You'll miss your kids.
While each member of the former couple will have more time to themselves, they will definitely
miss their kids in a big way. When you've been used to having your children around at all times, their
absence will be felt powerfully after your divorce. "For the first few months, you are going to feel extremely
lonely for your children and your family life if you have split custody," says Jones. "It might even make you
question whether or not you made the right decision. Eventually, you'll realize that this time means longer
hours of sleep, relaxation, and a time to rediscover yourself."

Co-parenting can be exhausting

Shifting to a co-parenting approach can be a very trying experience, both emotionally and physically.
"Put simply, the challenges change as children grow and develop, but it's not easy to have a cooperative
relationship with an ex-spouse over many years," says Terry Gaspard, author of The Remarriage Manual.
As a couple, you could divide up duties a bit more easily, so once the divorce has taken effect, each member
of the former couple is largely on their own.
 How to prevent divorce
1: Make time to connect lovingly with your spouse every day. A couple can significantly improve their
chances of marital success by devoting as little as 15 minutes a day exclusively to each other. For instance,
you could wake up a little earlier, and spend the extra time in bed cuddling, making love, and reaffirming
your love for each other. Take time every day to have meaningful conversations with each other; to listen
with the same intensity as when you were dating; to touch, hug, and show affection; to tell each other how
you feel about your marriage; and to talk about your goals for the marriage and your lives.
2: Compliment your spouse regularly—both in private and in front of others. Even if your partner seems
embarrassed or shrugs it off at first, the glow from sincere praise lasts a long time.

3: Love your spouse in the way he/she wants to be loved. We often make the mistake of assuming that the
things that touch our hearts the most deeply will affect our partner in the same way. For instance, you may
think red roses are the perfect gift, but to your spouse, they represent a waste of money and an allergy attack.
If you don't already know, find out what your spouse yearns for, and then deliver it with love—and no
comments about how "stupid" it is to want a cordless drill/a picnic on the living room floor/a tuna casserole.
Remember: the best gift is something your spouse wants—not merely something you want him/her to have.

4: Take care of your appearance. Look your best for your spouse. Lose the ratty sweat pants or frayed
sweater he/she hates so much; you can find other comfortable clothes that aren't a complete turn-off for your
partner. This also means taking care of your health—including eating properly and exercising regularly.

5: Remain faithful. Dr. Finnegan Alford-Cooper studied 576 couples who had been married for 50 years or
more; in 1998, she released her findings in the book For Keeps: Marriages that Last a Lifetime. In her study,
she found that 95 percent of the spouses agreed that fidelity was essential to a successful marriage, and 94
percent agreed or strongly agreed that marriage is a long-term commitment to one person. And these "lifers"
weren't making the best of a bad lot: a whopping 90 percent of the couples she surveyed said that they were
happily married after 50-plus years.
6: Do things together. Another common factor of long-term happy marriages is that the spouses regularly
do things together that they find fun and exciting. Whether that's ballroom dancing, bowling, playing cards,
SCUBA diving, or skiing, participate in at least one activity that you both enjoy every week. If you have
kids, make sure at least half of these activities are for you and your spouse only
7: Spend time apart. You take a pottery course while your spouse plays hockey; you play bridge and your
partner collects stamps. You don't have to love everything your partner loves, but you do have to allow
him/her the freedom to pursue cherished hobbies. An added bonus is that separate interests can generate
interest between you.
8: Be friends with your partner. John Gottman—a psychology professor who claims his research will
predict with 91 percent accuracy whether a couple will stay together—says the key to marital happiness and
success is friendship. Some of the most important aspects of this type of friendship are knowing each other
intimately, demonstrating affection and respect for each other on a daily basis, and genuinely enjoying each
other's company. Gottman based his findings on 25 years of marital research, which he presented in his
book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

9: The Terms of Endearment. Top Los Angeles divorce attorney Stacy D. Phillips says flowers, candy,
cards, and gifts are all wonderful tokens of love, but if you really want your romance to last, you must
practice some marriage-saving steps. She advises couples to spell out the basics of their relationship in a
yearly contract—or at least to clarify them. "Most disputes that break up marriages are over sex and money,"
she says. "Don't let surprises lead to trouble. Marriage is like any other contract: its terms and conditions
must be reviewed and updated."

10: Say "I love you" every day. This is especially important when you're not feeling the sensation of love;
at these times, you have to actively generate it. Saying those three little words, and performing loving
gestures, will warm both your and your spouse's hearts.

REFERENCES

https://www.familymeans.org/effects-of-divorce-on-children.
https://www.insider.com/why-people-get-divorced-2019-1
https://www.survivedivorce.com/common-reasons-for-divorce