3 Academic Writing Exploring Processes and Stra
3 Academic Writing Exploring Processes and Stra
3 Academic Writing Exploring Processes and Stra
Exploring Processes
and Strategies
SECOND EDITION
Ilana Leki
University of Tennessee, Knoxville
CAMBRIDGE
UNRTERSXTY PRESS
Changes to W e This Book Easier for Teachers The revised, added, and expanded features of this new edi-
and Students to Use tion are intended to meet the needs of new users of this text ef-
fectively and to respond to the suggestions of the professors and
New Part One: Wveruiew of fhWriting Process." In students who have used the first edition successfully.
order to give students a sense of what their work will entail and
what they will learn to do in using this book, the introductory
material in the second edition has been restructured and re-
vised. Part One now includes an explanation of how the book is
organized and how each of the chapters contributes to develop-
ing a specific aspect of writing expertise; hints for writing to I would again like to express my gratitude to all the interna-
communicate effectively; and two Writing Assignments based on tional students who not only inspired and then sampled the ma-
the premise that "the best way to learn to write is by writing": terial in the many earlier versions of this text but who also cre-
The first is designed to allow students to demonstrate the writ- ated the best of it. I am most grateful as well to my editor,
ing skills and habits they now have and to then engage in ana- Naomi Silvennan, whose creativity and artistry have con-
lyzing that writing to identify their o m particular strengths tributed so greatly to the improvements in this s e c o ~ dedition. A
and weaknesses; the second-a full Writing Assignment mod- special thanks to Iris Esau Moye, University of Oregon, who
eled aRer one they might encounter in one of their college generously shared with me numerous and particularly useful in-
courses-provides an overview of the kinds of expertise the stu- sights on the first edition ofAcademic Writing that helped me to
dents will develop as they explore their own writing processes. see new directions for this &tion. Thank you to Sara Picchi,
Carl Whithaus, and Linda Henigin for all their help and Wnd
Schnsatic Diagram of the Wi-itimg Process. A schematic friendliness, and to my colleagues across the country who pa-
diagram now appears at the beginning of each major section of tiently reacted to the first ebtion of the book and those who read
the book. This schematic graphically illustrates where the users the manuscript of the second edition: Marcia CooEey, California
of this book are in terms of what they have aIready covered and State University-Fullerton; Katya Fairbanks, Pitzer College,
what they have to cover still. The Claremont Colleges, California; Pamela Goins, University of
the Paclfic; Suzanne Leibrnan, College of Lake County (Illinois);
Improved Interior Design. First, the layout of all Writing Tamas G. K. Marius, University of Central Florida; Judith
Assignments,Journal Suggestions, Reading Suggestions, Exer- Rehm, Writing Center, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University;
cises, and Examples has been redesigned to distinguish them Guinn Robe*, Educational Testing Service; and Jessica
from one another and from the narrative instructional sections Williams, University of Illinois a t Chicago. Their thoughtful
of the text. Tius makes it easier for users of this book to locate comments and suggestions were illuminating.
these features quickly and easily within chapters. Thank you to my colleagues a t the University of Tennessee:
Second, important instructional points are now signaled in John Zomchick, Julia Williamson, Jill Vincent, Gerna Mein,
VMT FOUR USING PUBLISHED SOURCES 183 UNIT FWE ACADEMIC WRITING T . 215
;- CHAPTER 5
The Quality of Mercy 322
Rita Williams
i CHAPTER 10
T h e Dangers of Cramming 187
Keith Ablow
Who Are Smarter-Boys or Girls? 367
Are Men Born with Power? 373.
Helen Fisher
- CEUPTl3R 12
Excerpt 2 from Savage Inequalities 374
Jonathan Kozol
Is There a Doctor in the Classroom? 378
Laurie OueElette
Part 1
Chapter 1 Genlng S h
'SHE BEST WAY TO LEARN TO WRITE IS BY WRITTNG phrases, even words that you are particularly proud of
having written? Put brackets around them.
- Writing Assignment 1.1; Writing Santples 3. Reread the parts you bracketed. Why are you especially
happy with these sections? +
Writing Choose one of the following suggestions and write an essay as Now discuss with your class how you wote your essay. Use
Assipmentl.l
you normally would. This assignment is meant to show your these questions as guidelines, and include anything else that
teacher the writing skills and habits you have now. comes to mind.
1. Think of a place from your childhood that you remember Haw did you decide w h c h subject to write abgut?
well. Describe the place in as much detail as possible and Did you sit and t h n k or write notes for a while before you
explain its significance to you either then or now. began to write the essay itself?
2. Do people from your country have a reputation for being How did you begin? With the first sentence?
friendly? Easygoing? Hard working? Serious? Indepen- How did you decide what to include or exclude?
dent? What stereotypes do outsiders have of your country
or of the people in your country? D o any of these stereo-
Who did you assume you were communicating with as you
wrote?
types seem at all true to you? How would people in your
country describe or characterize themselves? Choose two What did you think your audience wanted to find out by
or three stereotypes of people in your country and explain reading your piece?
or illustrate how they are true or untrue. What did you enjoy about your first writing assignment for
3. Think of the last time you were forced to do something this class?
you did not want to do. What did you have to do? Why?
Who forced you to do it? What would have happened if
you hadnt done it? Now are you glad or not glad that you TRYING OUT THE PROCESS
did it? Tell the story of this incident. Then explain your
awn reaction to it then and now. Your answers to these questions tell you something about the
4. What has surprised you about the United States? Did you processes you now use when you write. As you work through this
have expectations about the community where you n o w book, you will have a chance to try out many techniques other
live? Were these expectations met? What is striking t o writers use to help themselves write well. To give you an idea of
you about the place you live now and the people who now some of these writing processes, you will now work through one
surround you? Choose two or three surprises you have full writing assignment. Thls will give you a brief overview of
had since your arrival here and explain what you had ex- the work you will be doing this term.
pected and what you found instead.
(Or see the end of Appenehx A for an alternative subject to What will this person expect to read?
explore. 1 What qualities in your paper wouId make this audience con-
Now read the text on page 290. sider this an excellent piece of writing?
Reading
Chapter 3 will help In Chapter 3 you will analyze in much greater detail your audi-
Excerpt from Bury M y Heart at Wounded Knee, page 290. you focus on your ence and your readers' purposes and expectations & reading
audience and pur-
Here is the writing assignment for your imaginary history class: pose for writing.
your writing, but for now, discuss the questions above with your
Based on the reading from Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, classmates.
Chapter 4 will help Do you feel that you are ready to write now? In Chapter 4
write a short paper on the following topic: you write first
drafts.
you will get detailed instructions on writing a first draft,but for
now, if you feel ready to write, put your list of ideas in front of
Chapter 5 will help you and write a first draft of your assignment. This is a first
you determine or
Change is the essence of history, Some changes are slow and develop your main
draft. That means it does not have to be perfect-so don2 worry
peacefa others, like the changes the Europeans forced on the na- idea. about grammar, spelling, punctuation, or other details yet.
tive peoples of North and South America, are violent. ORen these (Chapters 5, 6, and 7 will help you with writing an introduction,
Chapter 6 will help developing and organizing your ideas, and writing a conclusion.)
changea come about as f o r e f ~ideas, inventions, technologies, and
you decide how
sometimes armies came into a country from abroad. Think of the best to support and
history of yaur o w n country. Has your country ever been forced to analyze your ideas. GQtherinp and Generating Ideas. If you don't quite feel
change its ways as the result of foreign influence? Bas your coun- you are ready yet, perhaps it would help you to consider your
try ever introduced changes into another country? Take any point Chapter 7 will help
you write introduc- topic from different but related angles. One way to do this is to
of view that interests you, and compare this aspect of the history of discuss your topic with others-your classmates, your room-
tiona,conclusions,
your own country with the information from the passage you juat
read from Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. Discuss how the two
and titles. mates, or your friends from your own country OF from others.
situations are similar andlor different.
Keepiag a Writing Journal. Another way to try to look at
the topic from another perspective is to write informally on a re-
lated topic, as though you were writing a journal of your own
This paper is due in one week.
Chapter2 WIT wt thoughts. In Chapter 2 you will get instructions for beginning a
you keep writing journal. For now, think about the history of your country
ing a writrng
journal. and read the following journal suggestions.
Writing First Drafts
Before actually writing, many people find that they write more Journal Suggestions
Chapter 2 will help easily if they prepare themselves to write. In Chapter 2 you will
you gather and learn about several invention techniques to help you to prepare Is your country racially or culturally mixed, with some peo-
generate ideas. ple from different backgrounds and traditions? Or do all the
to write. For now, begin the first draft of this simulated history
assignment by writing down a list of everything you can think of people in your country share the very same ethnic or racial
about the two situations you will compare. or cultural background? If your country is mixed, how do the
Now you have a base from which to begin your assignment. different groups of people get along? What do they think of
one another as a group? How &d these different groupings
Who Is Your Audknce, and W h a t Is Your Purpose? come together in the same country?
Before you begin writing, however, think about these things: * If all the people in your country share exactly the same
background and traditions, how has thls similarity affected
Who will read this text you will write? your cwntry's history? How are outsiders, like foreigners,
Why will this audience be reading what you write? considered?
Do these activities in any order that you think will help you
write the best paper you can.
CONCLUSION
You have now completed a writing assignment using processes
Part 1 Overview of Writing Processes
that you may use in m y writing you ever do. As you went
through this process you may have had trouble with parts of it. Chapter 1 Getting Started
Perhaps y w weren't sure what kinds of questions to ask your
classmates about your paper. Or perhaps when you tried to list Part 2 ration a
ideas, none came to you. Or perhaps you were not sure how to
Unit 1 Getting 1
write the first draft of this assignment. The rest of this book will ...
Chapter 2! Getting Ideas and Starting to Write
take you through each of these activities in much greater detail
Chapter: 1 Preparing for a Draft
with many examples of what other students like you have done. Chapter 4I Writing a F'irst Drafl ar
Looking more carefully at the activities and suggestions in this .. -
f+
book will give you the opportunity to try many things that have
worked for other students to help them write efficiently and ; Focusing (~n Main ldel
well. Knowing about a variety of options will help you under- i Devslopind3 and Shapi
' Bqinning and Ending
stand and develop your own writing processes as you realize
. -
what works well for you. Unit 3 Reworking the Draft
Chapter S Revising
Chapter 9 Polishing Revtsed Dra
to Draft One
j
Chapte ing ldeas and Startinu to Y
Chaptt laring for a Draft
Chaptt Ing a First Draff a1 ack
the reasons for the popularity of ths person, style, concept, wh- questions
or whatever. In the second, list your reasons for not lihng it. clusters or branches
Think of something that is unpopular right now among looping
many people but that you like. Explain the reasons for this cubing
unpopuIarity and your own reasons for feeling differently. outlining
Look back to the essay you wrote in one of the writing as-
signments in Chapter 1, Begin your journal by commenting
on what you think about that first assignment. What are you Freewriting
most satisfied with in your essay? Is there anything you
would change or add if you were going to write it again? There are two kinds of Feewriting. One type ;alIows you to
Begin your journal by writing about anything you want to empty your mind temporarily of everyday concerns so that you
write about. can concentrate on the task at hand. The other type helps you
begin to explore your ideas on a subject,
If you need to work on a writing assignment but cannot con-
centrate, the first type of freewriting may help you to clear your
INCENTION: HOW DO YOU BEGIN TO WRITE? mind. Take a sheet of paper and begin to write about the
thoughts on your mind at that moment. Write continuously for
Hint 3: Before you Writing is a solitary and demanding task. One way to make the five minutes. This is usually enough time to rid your mind of dis-
begn t o wnte a task easier is to use invention techniques. These techniques will
draft, explore your tractions. If you still feel distracted, continue to write for an-
ideas freely with enable you to explore your ideas on a subject before you actually other five minutes, or until you have gotten all distractions out
the help of inven- begin to write about it. of your system.
tion techniques. When you sit down to write, you probably know vaguely If you have chosen a general topic to write: about but have
what you want to say but not exactly how to say it. Your ideas not yet decided what aspect of that subject you wish to explore,
may seem chaotic; you have a lot of information and maybe the second type of freewriting should help you. Write your gen-
strong feelings about a subject, but all this is stored in your eral topic at the top of a page. Then begin to write down every-
brain in a complicated way. As soon as you write something thing that comes to your mind on this topic. Write continuously
down, twenty more ideas m a y come to your mind all a t once, and for ten minutes. Time yourself or have someone else time you.
all those ideas compete with one another for your attention. Do not let your pen stop moving. If you cannot think of anything
Invention techniques can help you get control of these chaotic to say, write "I can%think of anything to say" until something
thoughts and examine them one at a time to see which ones are comes to you. Something will come, so relax and keep writing
worth developing, steadily. If you cannot think o f the word you need in English,
In ths section you will learn several invention techniques. write the word in your own language or in some abbreviation or
You shouEd experiment with each of these techniques just to just leave a blank and keep going. The point is to get down as
learn how to use it. On your own, try each one again a t least much as you can about the subject, no matter how disorganized.
once to see if that particular form of invention is helpful to you.
Different individuals have very different styles of creating. An a STUDENT EXAMPLE: FREEWRlTlMG
invention technique that is extremely fruitful for one person
may produce nothing of interest for another person. This is why Here is an example of one student's freewriting.
you should try the techniques while you are actually trying to
produce an essay. After you have experimented with each tech- lndonesia is not as popular as other places such as Thailand,
nique, select the ones that work best for you and use those. Philippines, etc.-don't know the reason why-maybe it's not publi-
In this section you will practice: cized that much-especially in America, almost nobody knows what
or where Indonesia is. Sort of aggravating experience-feel embar-
freewriting rassed. Lots of interesting sights-Australian people go to Indonesia
listing very often but seldom see American tourist. Bali is often visited-
Notice that this student did not worry about writing com- Listing
plete sentences or punctuating them correctly. She wanted only
t o get her ideas down on paper as quickly as possible. Here is a Once you have decided on an aspect of a topic to write about, you
draft of the essay she eventually wrote based on her freewriting. need to find out what you know about that topic and anything
related to it. Listing is faster than freewriting but operates on
Although many people in America have never been to Indonesia, the same general principle. When you list, you write down
t think Indones~ais a place they must vislt at least once in a lifetime. everything that comes to your mind about your topic, but you do
Part of the reason the Americans seldom visit Indonesia is because not write sentences. Instead, you write only words or quick
they do not know much about the place. Another reason is that they phrases. Once again, you are trying to get down quickly as much
do not think there is anything worth going for. But they are wrong. In information as possible. Listing is particularly useful for getting
fact, there are many beautifut places in this country. f o r example, on examples or specific information about a topic. This technique is
the island of Bali there are two beautiful, white, and sunny beaches. also one of the most useful ways for writers to get started again
Kuta is especially beautiful when the sun iets and Janur has a spec- if for some reason their ideas dry up as they are writing a draft.
tacular view when the sun rises. Another example is on the island of Here is one example of a student's list.
Java, where there are two cities that are very popular for their beau-
ttfut sites; they are the cities of Yogya and Jakarta. In Yogya, there a STUDENT EXAMPLE: LISTING
are many ancient temples and in Jakarta there is a big playground SUNDAY NIGHT, MASSEY HALL LOBBY
similar to Disneyland. The last example of a tourist attraction is on Noisy: everybody returning from weekends
the island of Sumatra; there is one most particular point of interest Crowded
there and that is Lake Toba. When we see take Toba from the Parents, boyfriends
mountains surrounding it, it creates a breathtaking wew. These are Floor wet and white, snow
just three of the many beautiful places in Indonesia and I think ~tis a Coke machine noisy
shame that more tourists don't know about them. R.A. at front desk bored, answers phone
Pradanfta N. Soepono (Indonesia) a Two guys playing Pac-Man
Others waiting
Notice that this draft does not include everything that came One guy on the phone for a long time
up in the student's freewriting. Also notice that even this early Two others waiting to call
draR contains things that did not appear in the freewriting. Coupies sitting in lobby, laugh, talk, forbidden to go upstairs in this
When you do your own inventing, stop after ten minutes and dorm
reread what you have written. Underline or circle the ideas and Employees from pizza places delivering Sunday dinner
expressions you like. If you find an idea that makes you think of Snowball thrown in from outside, becoming a water hole
something else you wanted to say, draw an arrow from that Someone playrng piano, several voices singing a carol
point and continue writing until you have written everything Change machine broken, I have been asked for change twice
you had to say about that idea. Somewhere in what you have Girls come down for Coke, laundry tickets, sweets
written you will probably find aspects of your topic you can write Suitcases everywhere
about. If not, go on to another invention activity. Elevator broken
Cold as a bus station 3. Can you detect a pattern in the details she included?
R.A.'s pictures on the walls
On the opposite wall, announcements for parties, movies, free
coupons, videos 4. What made her keep some details and eliminate others?
Big blackboard in front of the doors, announctng that Purple Rain
is playing
Poster saying "Happy Birthday, Linda. We love you." I don't know WRITING: PRACTICE: LISTING
her Think of the first impressions you had of the community in
Garfield rnuppet on the table-forgotten by someone which you now live in the United States. Make a list of every-
From the window see white smoke from the heater system out- thing that comes into your mind. Remember, try. to get down as
side much as possible quickly. Keep this list in your jdusnal. You may
want to expand it into an essay someday. w
Here is the final draft of an essay this student eventually
wrote based on her list.
Wh-Questions
On Sunday afternoon, Massey Hall iobby looks as busy as a bus
station. The place is really crowded because the students are com- When reporters write newspaper articles, they usually try to
ing back from their weekends away. Parents or boyfriends are carry- write the first sentence so that it will answer the following ques-
ing suitcases and standing around speaking with female residents. tions: who, what, when, where, why, and sometimes how. These
At one end of the lobby, two boys are playing a video game, "Pac- questions can be used to generate ideas for your compositions as
Man," while some others are waiting for their girlfriends. Other gtls well. Asking questions like these may help you to clarify exactly
come down into the lobby very often to buy a Coke or laundry tvck- what subject you are going to discuss in your composition. This
ets. Every ten minutes, employees from Domino's P i u a or Ms technique, like listing, is also good for finding details about your
Gatti's deliver pizzas for Sunday dinner. As in every public place, the subject and for restarting your writing if for some reasan you get
lobby is very noisy. Couples sitting on the blue sofas behind the front blocked. You are the one who both asks and answers the ques-
desk are laughing and speaking animatedly. The Coke machine next tions. Think of as many questions as you can. Here is an exam-
to them is terribly noisy, and it's difficult to hear the piano in the small ple of one student's invention using wh-questions.
room close to the lobby. The telephone keeps on ringing in the lobby
office, and the R.A. has to answer it every minute. Everybody seems 3 STUDENT EXAMPLE: WH- QUESTIONS
too busy to notice details in the lobby. Nobody is interested in the What? Classical ballet, a stiff art form
poster announcing Lnda's birthday, nor in the announcements for
When? Every time lt is danced or when it is being performed or prac-
parties and movies on the wall opposite the front desk. The black-
ticed
board in front of the doors, announcing the movie Purp/e Rain for
Where? In ctasses, in the theater, everywhere it is being done
Monday night, seems useless too. And people constantly open the
Why? This question is a very ambiguous one. F could just talk and
doors to come in or go out, so it's cold. Just like in a bus station.
talk forever. But the very specific reason why is because it is done
Anne Gouraud (France)
in a perfect placement of the body. Ballet is the only dance form
that accentuates the body when it is performed so it needs to be
Look back at the student's list, and then answer these ques- perfect for the body to look nght. This is the main reason why it is
tions. so stiff.
How? Taught at the barre. You have to take classes hanging on to a
1. Did she include everything on her list in her essay? barre while the other side of your body is working.
Clusters or Branches
I
L
teachers ---,
The human mind seems to store information partly by associat-
ing new information with information already stored. As a re- /some don't l h k h
sult, calling up one piece of information may trigger a whole
series of other memories. For example, have you ever been eat-
ing something you hadn't eatan in a long time and suddenly felt
almost transported back to another time and place? That experi-
ence is an example of your associational memory at work. You
can make good use of the mental capacity to associate when
preparing to write essays. Write the subject of your composition
in the middle of a piece of paper, and then write down all the
things you associate with it. Then continue the process by find-
ing associations for each of the things you have written down. I
c a m fmm Califomla, away Irom trouble)
Continue to do this as long as you can find associations. Then
look at all the associations you have written down. Try to group Figure 2.1. Example of Clustering or Branching
don't like fore~gnets.If I signed up for their classes, I would be in a worry about grammar or punctuation. If you cannot think of the
lot of trouble. I could expect myself to be deserted by the rest of the word you want in English, write the word in your own language
class and, of course, to get a low grade too. or leave a blank. Feel free to use abbreviations or your own per-
Third, the community, wh~chI consrder to be the most inreresting, sonal shorthand forms of speIling.
because this is the group where I have all kinds of strange encoun- At the end of five minutes (time yourself or have someone
ters. Generally, the retired army hate Asians, especially Vietnamese. else time you), read what you wrote. Then write down one com-
Since all Asians look the same to them, 1 get rn a lot of trouble when plete sentence that summarizes the essence of what you just
I try to communicate with Them. As a result, when 1 meet a stranger wrote. You may find an actual sentence in your writing t h a t
and he or she asks me where I am from, I tell them I am from seems to be the most important idea of the writing, or you may
California. That really saves me a lot of trouble. Another interesting have to create one. In either case, write that yntence down.
encounter I face is at a community gathering place like the Flea This is the end of your first loop.
Market, where I am treated differently from all the others there. If an Now begin a second loop by focusing on your summary sen-
American could buy a used fan For ten dollars, I would have to pay tence. Try to keep this sentence in your mind as you write con-
fifteen dollars for rt. Sometimes that really makes me frustrated be- tinuausIy for another five minutes. When you finish the second
cause I am a human too. five minutes of writing, read what you have just written. Look
Lastly, the children look a2 me in a very strange way. Maybe I'm for the main idea or core toward which all the other ideas are
special, unique, or even a rare species over here. From the way turned. Summarize that core idea in one sentence, and write
they look at me, I feel like they are trying to dig everything out of me that sentence down. This is the end of your second loop.
just to satisfy their curiosrty. Follow the same procedure for your third Ioop. At the end of
Even if some reactions are bad, 1 thlnk this is a valuable experi- your five minutes of writing, read the third text and summarize
ence for me because tt helps me to be more mature in handling it in one sentence. For most writers, this last sentence usually
strangers and different types of people. captures the gist of what they have to say on their subject. If
Tai Herng Kong (Singapore) % your last sentence is still not satisfactory, you should probably
try another invention technique.
WMTING PRACTICE: CLUSrnRS OR BRANCHES
Try your hand at clustering or branching by thinking back to be- WRITING PRACTICE: LOOPING
ing sixteen years old. What associations does this age bring to A t the top of a piece of paper, write the word tradition. Then
mind? Cluster yoor associations, and keep pursuing them until write about that subject continuously for five minutes. When you
you run out of associations. Keep this cluster with your journal have finished, summarize your text in a complete sentence and
entries. m
write that sentence down. Repeat this process twice more. If you
find an interesting idea, keep it for later use in an essay.
Looping This technique, like any invention technique, can be used at
any time in the writing process, It can be especially useful when
Looping is similar ta freewriting, but it is more focused. It i s es- your ideas seem chaotic and you need to find a clear approach to
pecially useful when you have many ideas in your mind all at your subject or an 'angle" on the subject to write about.
the same time. Looping can help you focus your thought on a
subject, find the core or center of your thought, and pinpoint a
main idea on which to elaborate.
To use this technique, begin by writing down the subject you Cubing
want to consider. Keep that subject in the front of your mind as
you write continuously for five minutes. It is important to keep Cubing involves Iooking at an idea from six different points of
the pen moving and to keep your mind focused on the subject. Ef view, each representing one of the six sides of a cube. You will
you get drstracted, just keep writing anything you think of until look quickly at your subject from these six angles so that you
ideas on your subject came again. As with freewriting, do not have several perspectives an the subject available to you. You
When you have finished, reread what you wrote to find ideas 1 STUDENT EXAMPLE: OUTLINING
that you like. Write those ideas down and look them over.
Beauty in the United States
Perhaps one of them is particularly interesting and may be a
In general: artificial
good perspective for an essay on the subject.
Face: makeup
Ha~r:any color is okay
WFtITING PRACTICE:CUBING
Clothes: many colors, plaids, stripes
To show you haw powerful cubing can be in helping you find
something to say, practice the technique using a candy bar as Beauty in Greece
your subject. First, go and buy a candy bar. Then consider your In general: natural
candy bar from all six points of view. W e n you have finished, jot Face: no makeup
down the ideas you found that you like. Did cubing help you find Hair: blond, blue eyes preferred
anything interesting to write? I Clothes: simple, European styfes, single colors
Use cubing either a t the beginning of a writing project (to Notice that the topic, concepts of beauty, is first divided into
find an angle for your essay) or during a writing project (when two parts, beauty in the United States and beauty in Greece.
you run out of things to say on your subject). Each of these topics is then subdivided into subtopics or sub-
headings representing the categories that the author wants to
cover. Each of the subtopics is further subdivided by comments
Outlining the author wants ta be sure to include in the essay (clothes in
the United States: many colors, plaids, stripes; clothes in
An outline is a structured method of exploring your thoughts on Greece: simple, European styles, single colors). Once the plan is
a subject. Some writers like to use the freer invention strategies written down this way, the authar can easily rearrange material
to generate ideas. Then they make an outline So organize their to make the plan symmetrical and the eventual essay logically
ideas. Thus, outlining can be a transition between inventing and presented. Also notice that the outline does not include many of
writing a first draft. When used t h s way, the outline functions the details that will eventually appear in the essay, but that all
as a plan for writing. It is extremely helpful in dividing up the the details fit neatly under some subtopic ar subheading in the
big task of writing a formal paper into the much more manage- outline.
able task of writing small parts that will eventually make a uni- Here is a draft of the paper the student wrote based on this
fied and organized whole. informal outline.
discovered in your invention. Eliminate the sections o f the origi- register? Write down as many as you can. What operations
nal you have marked. See Chapter 4 for conventions to follow for do you know how to perform, or what skills do you have?
writing essays. Can you ride a bike? Cook any foods? Braid hair? Knit?
Change a fuse? Change a light bulb? Ski? Do you remember
learning any of these skills? Write about any experiences
you had learning a skill that you are proud of.
Journal Suggestions Think of the classes you are now taking. Ry to remember a
significant process, piece of equipment, or concept that is r&
The following journal suggestions will help you prepare for the Iated to one of the subjects you are studying. Describe that
Writing Assignment in this chapter, which will deal with some process, piece of equipment, a t concept.
feature of your culture.
What do you think are the most difficult aspects of your cul- You might aIso consider reading one or more of the following
ture for foreigners to understand? What do you feel is impor- Reading Selections in the Appendix. 4
tant for other people to understand about your culture?
What do you finddifficult to understand about other people's
Readings
cultures? "Do Not Disturb," page 297
"Sacred Places," page 299
Are there expressions in your language or aspects of your "The Japanese Funeral Ceremony and the Spiritual World after
culture that cannot be translated into English? Are there Death," page 307
things in English or in North American culture that cannot "Japanese Miai,"page 310
be translated into your language or culture? Can you think "Taking the Bungee Plunge,"page 312
of anything that you would find extremeiy difficult to explain
to someone a t home?
What are the major tenets of your religion? Is religion in
your culture considered a private or a public matter? Are - Writing Assignment 2.2: Invention for
people in your country religious or not? Cultural Artifckcfl~adition
Here are some proverbs from different countries. Can you
Writing For this assignment, you wilI either describe something, explain
add any?
Assignment
2h2
how something works, or explain how t o do something. Your
Japan: The nail that sticks up gets hammered down. readers will be your classmates and teacher. Try to think of an
Ethiopia: When spiders unite, they can halt a lion. object, activity, tradition, or concept that is important in your
Egypt: The man who i s a mirror in front of you is a dag- home country but not well known outside your country. Choose
ger behind your back, something that will probably net be very familiar to your class-
What do these proverbs say about human beings and soci- mates and teacher. Don't choose something too common, like a
ety? Think of a proverb (or saying) in your language. What holiday during which the whole famiIy gets together, dresses
lesson is that proverb trying to teach? What does it show nicely, and eats a meal together. Your readers will probabIy al-
about your culture? ready be familiar with such holidays and will want to learn
Think of a technical term- in your field of study. Define that something new about your particular culture, Here are some
term for someone with the same major as you. Then define it topics students have used in the past.
again for someone who has never studied your field and
knows nothing about it. Wrapping a Sari
Stealing the Henna (Traditional Tunisian Weddings)
What machines or devices do you know how to operate? A
typewriter, a computer, a fax machine, a car, a telephone, an Sunday a t a Dim Sum Restaurant
airplane, a sailship, a dishwasher, a coffee percolator, a cash Raising Singaporean Fighting Fish
Safaris in Kenya 2. You must already have had some personal experience
France's "Systbme D" with the topic you will write on.
Colombia's Salt Cathedral 3. This must be a topic that will alow you to do all five
Nigerian Scarring Ceremonies parts of the project. (See the following description.)
Iranian Sigheh
Here are some examples of topics students have written on
Suhoor in Lebanon and their personal experience with their topics.
Japanese Flower Arranging
Malaysian Pantun Topic Experience
Once you have decided on your subject for this assignment, Financial aid for international This student was having
find someone in your class who is not familiar with this subject. students. financial problems.
Then describe it to that person orally. A s you describe it, notice Making American friends. The student had no American
when you have to use your hands to help your words. Also notice friends and wanted some.
where your audience has trouble following what you mean and The Iranian and American This student's father had been
has to ask you for clarification. These parts will probably be the criminal justice systems. imprisoned for political
most difficult to describe in writing. If you h d that your class- activity and she was taking
mate has a great deal of trouble following or paying attention to a course in criminal justice.
your description, consider finding another topic.
The question of Puerto Rico's This student was from Puerto
When you have finished your oral description, use two o r
becoming one of the United Rico and was going to have
more different invention techniques to help you discover your
States. to decide on how to vote on
ideas on your subject. 4
this question.
When you finish, your teacher may tell you to gather your Day care in the United States This student was sending his
ideas and write a paper on this topic based on the ideas you and China. four-year-old son to day care
See Chapter 4 to found through these invention techniques. If so, see Chapter 4 while he and his wife
help you write a for help in writing a first draft. attended classes.
first draft.
Or you m a y be asked to put all the notes you have on this
subject aside and save them until you work through the next As you can see, in each case the students had already had
chapter, on audience and purpose. some personal ex2erience with the subject of their project before
they began the project. If you decide to do the Sequenced Writing
Project, take your time deciding on an appropriate topic, one
SEQUENCED WRXTING PROJECT: CHOOSING A TOPIC that wiII keep your interest through five complete writing as-
signments. You can think of this Sequenced Writing Project as
gathering data for a research question. So consider choosing
sequenced Writing If you choose to do the Sequenced Writing Project, you will write topics that you can and would like to do research on, perhaps re-
Project a total of five papers on the same subject over the course of this lated ta your current school life (e-g., How are international stu-
whole term. You will be ~ v e directions
n for each assignment in dents considered by departments where they enroll as majors?)
this chapter and the following ones. or to the life of the community in which you now live (e.g., How
You m a y write on any topic you wish with the approval of does this community view international students?} or to any
your teacher. However, to do the Sequenced Writing Project, you other topic you want to explore.
must select a topic that meets three requirements. The five assignments for this projed and the chapters where
they are explained in detail are:
1. You must feel very interested in the topic and want to
learn more about it, since you will spend much of the 1. ExpIain the importance of the topic and your personal ex-
term writing five full papers on the same subject. perience with it (Chapter 2 or Chapter 4).
Concept of Audience
you will be better able to make assumptions about what they slightly different emphasis, depending on the author's relation-
know, what they do not know, and what they want to know. This ship with the particular audience and what she has decided that
knowledge will help you make decisions about all aspects of your audience needs and wants to hear. The first example was writ-
paper: ten to a friend back home
what explanations you must give to make your ideas clear to a STUDENT WRITING
your reader You asked me if I have made any American friends since I've
what types of explanations would be most helpful been here. To tell you the truth, I don't know. Americans seem to
how to organize your explanations have an idea about friendship different from ours. First, everyone is
whether to write informally or formally very friendry. People smile and even sometimes s i y hello to me in
how careful to be of correct grammar, spelling, and punctua- the street-people I don't even know! Both boys and girls! And at
tion the dorm everyone seems klnd, friendly, smiling too. They say things
like "We'll have to get together some time" or "Stop by some time."
One special writing situation is writing for your teacher. But they never have time just then 10 chat a little longer. They're al-
Discuss these questions in class: ways in a hurry, on their way somewhere. Another thing is they'll ask
about Egypt but they don't really seem to care about the answer, be-
How is writing for teachers different from wciting for other s~desjust noticing that our customs are different. And they really
audiences? know nothing about Egypt or much of the rest of the world.
I think of you and Karima and the long discussions we had about
m a t does your English teacher expect when she or he reads
our lives and about the world. That's what friendship means to me. I
your writing?
think of the many times I needed your help and even if you had your
What do other teachers expect from your writing? own problems, you always helped me. I haven't found that here
even after one year of living here, I don" mean to complain, but you
Hint Q: Have an When should you decide who the members of your audience did ask. I guess 1 can say it's very easy here to make acquaintances
idea of the audi- are? There is no fixed time. Sometimes, such as when you are
ence you are writ- but I'm not sure what Inendship means in American terms.
ing for and keep
writing for a teacher, you will know your audience and purpose
that person or even before you beg-in any invention writing. At other times, The following was written for a class on social relations.
group of people in your invention writing will help you discover the audience you
your mlnd as you are writing for and why. Sometimes, you will not really be sure Polite social relations appear to be on one hand quite important
write. of your audience until you are working on a draft. Your audience in American sociery and on the other hand somewhat superficial.
and purpose may even change as you write. Still. no matter The cordiality may be seen in the typical Amencan's behavior to-
where you are in the writing process, keep in mind that eventu- ward strangers on the street. A person will quite readily nod, smile,
ally your writing will be read by some specific readers. 4r even say hello to a stranger passing in the street. Americans
As you can see, English-speaking writers are very conscious smile easrly and extend invttations to people they hardly know. On
of their readers. If the communication between writer and the other hand, there is a certain superficiality to this Friendliness
reader breaks down, it is generally considered the writer's fault. since Americans also tend to value the individual over the commu-
It is up to the writer to accommodate the reader by explaining nity. They drive to work in separate cars, each encased m histher
the ideas as fully and as clearly as necessary own private box. When they arrive at a crowded beach, they will
head for solitude, isolation, a spot on the beach away from other
people.
Writing for Different Audiences Furthermore, although friendships everywhere are necessarily
based on a certain amount of trust, that trust is apparentfy condi-
Look at the following selections on the subject of friendships in tional in American society. Thus, for example, an American would
the United States. Both were written by the same student, but not find it strange to be asked to sign an IOU if he or she borrowed
each was aimed at a different audience. Each therefore has a money from a friend. For an outsider, therefore, it is often difficult to
4. Do any sections of this composition strike you as inappro- that word). Have you ever asked a friend to read over an official
priate for the student's intended audience? letter you wrote to make sure that it was clear and correct be-
fore you mailed it? Your classmates and teacher will be doing the
same thing with your writing in class. They will be telling you if
they think pour work is clear, interesting, convincing, informa-
EXERCISE 3: AUDIENCE tive, and correct.
Probably most of your classmates have seen or eaten a t a
Look back a t your notes for the Writing Assignments in
Chapter 2. If you w r o t e about an object, process, tradition, or
McDonald's restaurant either in the United States or at home.
Discuss with the rest of the class what you would emphasize if concept from your culture, your audience was your classmates
you were an advertiser trying to persuade the following types
and teacher. How would your invention writing be different if
of people to eat a t McDonald's instead of another restaurant.
Don't invent qualities for McDonald's; try to remember what you
your audience was difierent-for example, a group of people
your own age from your own culture? -
know.
For each of the following, write down what you think the au- an article persuading readers to agree with the author
thor's purpose might have been in writing on this subject. a text with no clear purpose
r STUDENT WRIT lNG 3 5. Did you have trouble determining the purpose of this
Music and People
Almost everyone on this earth listens to music. Each person
spends countless hours listening to music. People spend Pots of
money on albums, musical instruments, and record-playing equip- 6. Who do you think was the intended audience for this
ment. We can hear people whistle. dance, and sing at parties and essay?
even on the streets. It is rare to find a person who dislikes music al-
though not everyone likes the same type of music or uses it the
same way. People have different reasons for listening to or making
music. Turn to the end of this chapter for one analysis of this essay's
Music provides a background for activity. Some people want mu- audience and purpose. w
sic around them almost all the time. For instance, 1 have a friend
who listens to musk almost twenty-four hours a day. Music is just a A writer's purpose in writing i s closely connected to the audi-
part of him. Everyday, when he returns home from school, he will ence for which the writer is writing. When you write a letter to
turn on the radio first before he changes his clothes. Ha even turns your parents describing a typical day here or how your studies
on the radio before he starts cooking and studying. Music soothes are going, your purpose is to inform because you know that your
parents are interested in what you do. If you wrote the same let- cally. Taunters may make fun of their target every day, hide his or
ter for your English dass, however, your purpose would not be her school materials, and even force the individual to provide slave-
clear. It would not be obvious that your readers have any reason like service. If they disobey the orders, bullies sometvmes "discipline"
for wanting to read about your typical day. them. Unfortunately, bullying groups are close-knit and represent a
Deciding on a tentative purpose before you write will help large portion of a class, and non-group members allow their ac-
you decide what to write and how to write it, just as deciding on tions. THs problem is perplexing because not only are students' ac-
a tentative audience will. Once again, however, you may find as tions involved but also their attitudes, and these are difficult to re-
you are writing that your original purpose is no longer what you form. Sometimes, discipline by a teacher can cause a counteresult,
want to convey. In that case, change your purpose and reorient by promoting more subtle and wicked revenge.
your discussion. Reread what you have written to make sure Surely a reason behind this problem is the lack of time spent In
that everything you have said fits your new purpose. moral and ethrcal education in Japan. Morals, ideally, shoutd be
taught by parents, but it has seemingly not been done. Perhaps in
the increasingly industrialized society of Japan, a targe number of
Focusing on the Subject children feel Insecure. Their society promotes a "busy-ness" in their
parents which can rob children of the attention and affection which
One part of determining your purpose is clarifying to yourself are needed to build their self-worth. According to some surveys, par-
exactly what your subject is. Again, as you are writing a draft, ents spend an average of three hours a week in interaction with their
you may change your mind about what you want to write. Look children. In order to make themselves feel better, they often isolate a
at the following student essay. As you read the essay, think particular student and attempt to make him or her feel worthless.
about what subject the student was focusing on in this draft, Also, traditional Japanese religious teachings are all but ignored in
and his probable purpose in writing about this subject. most homes. When the children feel isolated, they confine them-
selves to their room instead of sharing the problem they are facing
a STUDENT WRITING with someone. Committing suicide is the only way that they can find
to escape the parns of being isolated, ridiculed, rejected, or ignored.
Teenage Suicide In Japan
A thirteen-year-old girl leaped off the roof of her four-sbry school EmRClSE 7: FOCUSING ON T H E SUBJECT
building just before afternoon classes just three weeks ago. Thrs is Answer the following questions and then compare your answers
the most recent incident in a rash of teen suicides in Japan over the with those of your classmates.
past few years. The note she left said that she could stand the taunt-
Ing of cfassrnates no longer. 1. What reasons does the writer give to explain why many
Young teenage suicide is becoming one of the most tragic sociaf teens commit suicide in Japan?
problems in Japan. About forty suicides have been reported t h ~ s
year already. Some of them were even elementary-school children. -
There are many pressures on Japanese schoolchWdren, and the 2. What reasons does the writer give for the behavior of the
causes of thew suicides are related to these pressures and the way
Japanese society has developed. When the students cannot stand bullying groups?
the pressure, they commit suicide. tn many cases, the reasons for 3. How do the reasons in questions 1 and 2 overlap?
suicide seems to be linked with vtctims' treatment by peers.
Victims were often rsolated and teased by groups over a long
period of time. In a school community, sometimes kids are very cruel 4. What topic besides teenage suicide in Japan is the writer
to a quiet or different student without any other reason than his or
her difference. Research shows most students who committed sui- interested in discussing?
cide were very calm, gentle, silent students. Obviously, they were 5. In the last section of the third paragraph, which attitudes
good targets of bullying groups because they tended not to complain does the writer mean when he refers to attitudes that are
or fight back, especially since groups of bullies can be quite large-
ten or more students. Teasing ISmore mentally abusive than physi- "difficultto reformn?
6. According to the last paragraph, which chiIdren suffer What might prompt chlIdren Po such cruelty to peers' Perhaps in
the increasingly industrialized soclety of Japan a large number of
from lack of attention from their parents? children feel Insecure. Their society promotes a "busy-ness" in their
parents which can rob children of the attention and affection which
children need to build their self-worth. According to some surveys,
parents spend an average of three hours a week in interact~onwith
In analyzing his purpose in this essay, this student wrote: "I their children. In order lo make themselves feel better, the school
wanted to show the reasons why many teens have committed bullies isolate a classmate and attempt to make him ar her feel
suicide recently in a highly industrialized country, Japan." But worthless, thereby somehow increasing their own feeling of self-
when he looked more carefully at his first draft, he realized that worth. Another reason behind this problem of bullying gangs is the
his paper had taken a slightly different direction. He found that lack of time spent in moral and ethical education irl Japan. Morals,
he was also inkreshd in writing about how and why gangs of ideally, shoutd be taught by parents, but morals have seemingly not
high school students terrorize other students. In order to accom- been taught. The traditional Japanese religious teachings of
plish this new, slightly altered purpose, the student wrote this Buddhism, for instance, are all but ignored in most homes.
second draft. This same busy-ness and lack of religious convictions are also
likely responsible for the rash reaction of some children to teasing.
A thirteen-year-old girl leaped off the roof of her four-story school These chlldren confine themselves in their rooms and do not share
building lust before afternoon classes just three weeks ago. This is the problems that they are facing at school with their parents. They
the mosl recent incident in a rash of teen sutcldes in Japan over the also do not seem to believe in a "higher love" more important than
past few years. The note she left said Sha! she could stand the taunt- acceptance by their peers, the love thew parents have for them.
ing of classmates no longer. Committing suicide, they reason, is the only way that they can find
Young teenage suicide is becomhng one of the most tragic social to escape the pains of being isolated, ridiculed, rejected, or ignored.
problems in Japan. About forty suicides have been reported this Taisuke Akasaka {Japan) B
year already. Some of them were even elementary-school children.
Like the case mentioned above, in many cases the reasons for sui-
cide seem to be linked with viclims7reatrnent by peers. EXF,RCISE 8: FOCUSING ON THE SUBJIECT
Victrms were often isolated and teased by groups over a long Describe what you think this student's purpose was in his sec-
period of trme. In a school community, sometimes kids are very cruel ond draft. Was he just exploring his own ideas? Was his purpose
to a quiet or different student without any other reason than his or to inform, persuade, convince, or entertain?
her difference in appearance, behavior, manner of dress, or even
accent. Research shows most students who committed suicide were 1. This author's purpose was to on the
very calm, gentle, silent students. Obviously, they were good targets
subject of
for bullying groups because they tended not to compla~nor fight
back, especially since groups od bullies can be quite large-ten or 2. What changes can you find i n his second draft that reflect
more students. Teasing is more mentally abusive than physically.
his new purpose?
Taunters may make fun of their target every day, hide his or her
schooE materials and even force the individual to provide slavelike
servlce. If they disobey the orders, bullies sometimes "discipline"
3. Notice that the original title was 'Teenage Suicide in
them. Unfortunately, bullying groups are close-kntt and represent a
Japan." Can you think of a title for the second draft that
large portion of a class, and non-group members allow Ihe1.t ac-
more closely reflects the student's new purpose
tions. Changing the behavior of these group members is a perplex-
ing problem because not only are students' actions involved but also
their attitudes, and these are difffcult to reform. Sometimes, disci-
pline by a teacher can cause a counterresult, by promoting more Turn t o the end of this chapter for the answer to the first
subtle and wicked revenge. item. w
Now, with a different color pen, circle any sections of the in- b. What should I discuss first, second, third, and so on to
vention writing that you want to be sure to include in your draft. make this easy for my audience to understand?
Next, if you can, number the sections you circled according
to the order in which you want to mention them.
Now answer the following questions:
b. illustrates, or Indentation
c. proves
what the beginning announced or asserted by describing, Sections of writing are marked off into paragraphs signaled by
comparing, giving examples, or showing supporting evi- indentation. A new paragraph normally signals ta the reader a
dence. shift in perspective. It means that the writer will now begin to
3. A relatively brief conclusion. Here the writer discuss a different aspect of the subject a t hand. Look, for exam-
a. states the implications of the discussion, ple, a t the composition on reactions to foreigners an page 22.
b. links the specific discussion to broader issues, or Note that this student changed paragraphs with each new cate-
c. summarizes the most imporbant ideas in the text. gory of person he discussed. But in English not every sentence
should begin a new paragraph, even though in e sense every
Look a t your invention writing again. Now answer these sentence is a new idea. Instead, group sentences into categories
questions as completeky as you can: of ideas; each paragraph is a group of sentences on a related
idea. Paragraphs in English vary in length, but most are several
Part 1: What is the subject of this draft? What is the main sentences long, rather than just one or two. Each time you begin
thing I want to say about this subject? a new paragraph, indent, that is, leave blank about an inch of
space from the left-hand margin (five spaces if you are typing).
Part 2: As I explain the subject, what kinds of things do I
want to be certain to bring up? (See the circled sections of
your invention writing.) Can 1 group these ideas in some Margins
way so that I can discuss them one group at a time? What
would be the clearest or most logical order in which to d ~ s - Left-hand margins are usually printed on lined paper. Do not
Writ~ng
Assignment 4.1
cuss these ideas? write beyond that margin. There are no right-hand margins
continues on page Part 3: What conclusions do I want my reader to reach about marked on the paper, but maintain an imaginary margin of one-
64. my subject after reading my draft? 4 half to one inch on the right side. Do not try to squeeze words in;
they will be too hard to read. Do not squeeze words into the bot-
tom line of your paper either. In typed papers, keep a margin of
about one inch on all four edges of the paper.
SEQUENCED WRITING PROJECT: FIRST DRAFT
Paging
Sequenced Writing Reread the invention Writing YOU did for the Sequenced Writing
Project Project assignments in Chapter 2 and in Chapter 3 with a new
The first page typically has the titIe in the middle of the top line,
audience and purpose. Add any new ideas that occur to you as
then a blank line, then the beginning of the text (with the first
you reread. Remember that your goal in this paper is to explain
line indented). Usually the first page i s not numbered. Subse-
what the topic is, why the topic is significant for your intended
quent pages may be numbered a t the top or the bottom of the
audience, and what your personal experience with the topic ,has
page, either in the middle or on the right-hand side. After the
been. It is not necessary to folIow this order in your presenta-
tion. Select the order that explains your ideas best.
first page, most people skip the very top line and begin writing
on the next line. In formal papers, write only on one side of the
back on page 59. -
Now follow the directions for writing a first draft beginning
page. Your papers should look something like those shown in
Figure 4.1.
It is not necessary to follow this format in a first draft, be-
cause you will be rewriting the draft later anyway. On the other
F O m FEATURES OF A PAPER hand, some people like to see neat copies even of their first
drafts. If you are such a person, you may want to follow this for-
Although this is not the final draft, there are certain formal con- mat ROW and become accustomed to writing this way. If not, you
ventions you usually must follow when writing in English. may refer to this section when you are writing subsequent
Self-Analysis (Post-Draft}
I. Who was in the back of your mind as you wrote? Did that
audience change as you wrote?
2. Reread your draft as though you were your intended au-
dience reading the draft for the first time; 1n a different
color ink, make any comments or questions you think
your audience might have on any part of the draft, espe-
ciaIEy comments or questions ashng for more or clearer
information.
3. As you were writing, did your purpose change? Did you
change your mind a t all about what you wanted to com-
municate?
4. How does the draft you wrote compare with the ideas you
had about it before you began to write?
5. Do you &el that you did what you set out to do? Go back
Figure 4.1 Example of Paper Format to the list you made in the third pre-draR question and
put a check next to the items that you carried out in your
draft. Did you find as you wrote that you didn't need or
drafts. Whatever you do, be sure to leave plenty of room in a want to do some of the things you set out to do?
first draft for later alterations. It is a good idea leave larger 6. Did you write enough in your draft to be able to answer
margins than usual and perhaps to skip every other line. questions 1 through 5 here, or do you perhaps need to
gather more material and expand your draf'c?
Wnting 7. What was easy about writing this draft? What was diffi-
Ass~gnrnen t 4.1
cult about writing it?
WRITING THE FmST DRAFT and Seauenced
8. Do you feel satisfied or disappointed in your draft?
Wnting Project re-
Continuation of Now gather aIt your material together, including your answers
s u m e on page 72. Explain why. *
Writing to the predraft questions, and Yvrite your first draft. Try to fol-
Assignment 4.1
low the three-part pattern most English-speaking readers ex- Don't be worried if your audience, purpose, or goals changed
and Sequenced
pect. Write legibly so that your classmates can read your draR
as you wrote. Writers very often realize what they really wanted
Writing Project to say only in the middle or even a t the very end of a draft.
easily, but don't worry t m much about correct grammar,
Except in special situations like essay exams, you will have the
Hint B: D o n Z spelling, punctuation, or vocabulary. Just try ta get your ideas
worry about detail chance to revise your draft to fit your new audience or purpose
down on paper. You will have plenty of opportunity later to
in your first draft.
change this draft. If you get stuck or blocked as you are writing Hint 7: Reread or to express ideas you thought of as you were writing.
Try just to get your
and find that you don't know what else to say or exactly how to
your own writing Remember t o make use of invention techniques as you write, if
ideas down on pa- frequently. Ry to you need to, as well as before you write.
per. You can shape say it, try any of the invention techniques you learned to start read objectively, as As you wrote this first draft, you &d invention writing, then
your ideas later. you up again. If you need to define an object or concept in order though you were
not the author and considered audience, and then purpose. It is not necessary to fol-
to discuss your subject,you may want to look at Unit 6, Chapter
you were seeing it low that particular order each time, as the parts of the writing
16,on writing definitions.
m e n you have finished, reread your draft and your answers
for the first time. process are interrelated. But it is important to consider each
part of the process. Refer to this section whenever you are hav- r STUDENT WRITING 2
ing trouble preparing to write a paper.
What Makes a School Good
Although all the years of high school were very good, for certain
GETTING FEEDBACK: CRITERIA FOR reasons the last two years were the best years I have ever had. For
one thing, the teachers were very good. For example, my biology
RESPONDING TO WRITING
teacher was the best one F have ever had. His class never got bor-
In this section, you will learn t o comment on your classmates' ing and almost all the students had good grades in exams. We really
writing. But how will you be able to recognize good writing, es- enjoyed that class. But he wasn't the only good teacher in those
pecially since what is considered good writing varies somewhat years. Almost all our teachers were good. But the teachers weren't
from culture to culture and from one writing situation t o an- the only factors making up such good times. The friends that I had
other? It may help to read gome writing other students have during those two years were also very goad friends. f o r example,
done, to see how you react to this writing, and to compare your Mahasti and I used to study together and she is still one of my best
reactions with those of your classmates and teacher. friends even though 1 cannot see her very often anymore. My other
The following three essays were written for an English class friends like Shole, Mandana, and Mojgan were also very nice and
like yours. The audience in each case was the student's class- we all had a very good time m school. Having good teachers and
mates,and the purpose was to inform them about the subject men- good friends were the most important things that made those two
tioned in the title. Read the three essays and rank them in the or- years the best years d my life.
der of your preference. Then rank them in the order you thmk Keihan Mani (Iran)
your teacher would prefer. Discuss with your classmates and
teacher the criteria you used in deciding how to rmk the essays. a STUDENT WRITING 3
Cultural Differences in Nonverbal Communication
Recognizing a Good Paper Although France and the United States belong to the same kind
of Western civilization, some nonverbal aspects of social behavior
'4 STUDENT WRITING 1 can be different and even opposite depending on the country. For
The Best Ways ta Learn a Foreign Language example, 1 was surprised by the fact that Americans who are in a
pubkc place wait in a straight line with free space between each per-
Learning a foreign language can intrigue one person while it can son. In France, everybody tries to be the first in line and conse-
frustrate another. Why is this so? One reason is the method involved quently stands very close to the other people. French lovers walk in
in learning the foreign language. Students in class can benefit the street hand in hand, and their close physical contact shows their
greatly if they have an excellent teacher. The teacher can, through intimacy. I don7 remember having seen such behavior in the Un~ted
innovative teachmg, make lectures interesting and this in turn can States. These two examples might suggest that French cultore al-
motivate the students further to excel In the language. classmates lows a closer social space, but that is not a universal rule. For in-
can be another source in learning a foreign language. If everyone in stance, Americans who hug their friends accept closer contaet than
class is enthusiastic and cooperative, students will find learning the French, who might kiss a friend in greeting but will not take them in
foreign language a great thrill. Besides learning a foreign language their arms. Social behavior in public places is different too. In
in class, one can also pick up the language outside the class. This France, one is allowed to look at strangers but not to say "Helo" to
can be done through conversing with native speakers. Students can them because that would make them feel threatened. On the other
listen, observe, and lip-read how native speakers taZk by watching hand, most Americans feel so uncomfortable when they have eye
television. A student can also find additional material in books or contact with strangers that they feel they need to smile and to say
magazines on the specific language. The best way to learn a foreign 'Hi." So, each country has its specific rules of social behavior and a
language is a cornb~nationof both inclass and out-of-class learning foreigner has to become used to nonverbal communication if he
as these two involve different methods. wants to get integrated into a dinerent culture. .
PohChooTan (Singapore) a ,
Anne Gouraud (France) a
So, what makes good writing? Certainly, the writer must "Be more specific. Exactly how does
have ideas to communicate and must express these ideas well. operate?"
But what does it mean to express an idea well? One essential
quality of good expository writing in English is clarity-that is, These are typical comments from readers trying to under-
expressing an idea clearly, completely, and explicitly so that the stand the ideas in a text. Through such comments, readers ex-
reader can understand it easily. Remember that in English
academic writing i t is the writer's responsibility to make the
reader's work easy. Here are some ways to find out what the
reader needs:
* press their needs that your essay has not filled. Try to anticipate
these needs. When you finish a draft of a composition, put your-
self in the reader's place. Ask yourself if you need to give an ex-
ample of what you mean, if you should give more information to
make your point clearer or stronger, or if you need to be more
1. Get feedback from readers. specific. Don't make your reader guess.
2. Become a reader yourself and notice what you as a reader h o k at one of the drafis you have written for this class and
need in order to understand you classmates' work. try to transform yourself into a reader instead of the writer. As
you read the draft, stop aRer each sentence and write in the
Hint 8: Let others From now on. YOU and your classmates will read and corn- margin in a different color ink any questions that sentence
read what you ment in writing on one another's work. Not all the suggestions raises. Good questions to ask yourself are:
have written and
give you feedback. or comments you receive from your classmates will necessarily
be hel~fulto vou. Don" react to your classmates' comments im- Why is this the case?
media2ely; t&e time to think them over. If one classmate didn't How does this happen?
understand something, get another student's reaction. If several So what; why are you telling me this?
people say that part of your paper needs to be explained more,
this is useful information. Then it is up to you to decide whether Then look at the next selitence to see if they answer these ques-
or how to strengthen that section. The ultimate responsibility tions. If not, your reader may have trouble foIIowing your train
for your work is yours. of thought.
W h e n you give feedback, try to be as specific as pos~ible. Now practice responding to someone else's writing. Look
Keep in mind that part of your work is to help your classmates back at the paper selected as the best of the three eornpositions
improve their writing as they help you improve yours. a t the beginning of this section and answer as a class each ques-
Finally, of course, your teacher will aIso give you feedback. tion in the following analysis guide. Listen carefully to your
When you get your teacher's comments on a draft of your writ- classmates' and teacher's responses.
PRACTICE PEER RESPONSE: STUDENT WRlTTNG b. Begin at the beginning, and read the whole paper
quickly. Don1 worry if there are pa* you don't quite
1. What was the bestirnost interesting part of this composi- understand. In this reading you need onIy to get a gen-
tion? Why do you think so? eral idea of the &scussion.
2. What was the most important point the writer made? c. Begin at the beginning once again, and this time read
Write it in your own words as specifically as you can and carefully to the end.
then compare your answer with your classmates' and
teacher's answers. Choose the method your group feels comfortable with. Keep
3. Was there any part of this composition where you a pencil in your hand as you are reading and mark places you
wanted more information because you were interested? especially like and places you have trouble understanding. Don't
What else did you want to h o w ? hesitate to ask the author about words you cannot read, but
don't spend time discussing or debating the paper.
4. Was there any part of this composition where you
When you have finished reading, take a fuII-sized, clean
needed more information just to understand? What did
sheet of paper, and prepare it as shown in Figure 4.2, "Example
you need to know?
of Peer Response Form."
5. Who do you t h n k was the intended audience for this
composition? How do you know?
6. Did the draft seem to follow the typical English three-
part pattern?
Author's name
7. Were the explanations sufficient for you to understand
easily and accept the points the author made? Reader's name
8. Name two things you learned from this composition that Dace and name or subject of paper
you either didn't know before or had never thought of in
this way before.
9. Note everything you liked about this composition.
10. Note anything you feel was not successful in this compo-
sition.
11. Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
You may want to go back now to the essay you like the
least and answer these same Peer Response questions about that
paper. This m a y help you see more clearly what you, your class-
mates, and your teacher value in writing.
Bring to class one of the draRs you have written for this
course. Form groups of three or four with classmates who have
not already read your draR. Then do one of the following:
1. Take turns quickly (not more than about a minute or two)
telling the group what you said in your draft. Then ex-
change papers and read and analyze one another's drafts.
2. Exchange papers without discussion. If you choose this
option, proceed as follows:
a. Read the title (if there is one), the first sentence, and
the last sentence of the paper. Figure 4.2 Example of Peer Response Form
When everyone in your group has read all the drafts, give I had a hard time understanding your paper because I am
your classmates the comments you wrote analyzing their papers. not a Muslim. You mentioned many names and special
Read the comments you receive and respond to them. Note what concepts which I don? know about. Maybe this is a good
you agree with, what you do not understand, how you might paper for another Muslim to read.
change something a reader commented on, or any other reac-
tions you have. This was a totally clear, welI-organized, and developed essay.
When you have finished reading the comments on your Since I am a Muslim, 1 already knew all the information
-
with a 01
*
3ping am Shapin
7ing and Ending E
Generalization
Later in this chapter, you wiII either recount a personal experi- Specifics that alIowed you to make the generalization
ence that revealed somethng to you and/or conduct a survey on Return ta a general, more abstract level
a question of interest to you. To prepare for these writing assign-
ments, consider writing on one or more of the foIlowing journal The three student essays in the last chapter illustrate this
suggestions. typical movement from general to s p e d c . These essays follow
the typical three-part blueprint or pattern that English-speak-
ing readers seem to expect. Look at each essay and indicate
where you might separate the beginning from the middle. Where
Journal Suggestions do general comments end, and where do the specific cases begln?
Then divide the middle section from the end. Where do the com-
H o w do peopIe in the community where you are now k i n g ments become general again? Finally, how might you divide the
react when they find out where you are from? Try to think of middle section?
all the different types of reactions you have seen. Is there These kinds of divisions oRen correspond to paragraphs, but
any pattern that you can see in the types of people who have not always. Whether or not you begin a new paragraph depends
various reactions? on how long each section is and how great a shift of perspective
What hnds of stereotypes do people here have about your occurs between the sections. Most English-speaking readers
country? Did any of these stereotypes surprise you? Do any would probably expect the student examples you just reread to
explanations of the topic In each of the previous sentences, the writer made a kind of
more explanat~onsof the topic promise to the reader about the content of the paragraph to
more explanations of the same topic come. English readers tend to trust the writer to fulfill this
promise. If the writer goes off in another direction and discusses
1I1 ( Main ide? of the next paragraph (topic 2) explalnfng the thesis
something else, the reader becomes confused and even h s -
I explanations of topic 2
L~more explanations of the same toprc, etc. trated, finding it difficult to follow the writes's "trainof thought."
Main idea of the next paragraph (topic 3) explaining the thesls EXERCISE 1: MAIN IDEA
explanations of topic 3
Suppose you are under stress from your studies or your job. You
more explanations of the same topic, etc. need to find a way to relieve that stress, and you find the follow-
ing article.
Concluding ideas 4
. . atc.
I
I
Psychologists working together with medical doctors have devel-
oped a number of ways to relieve tension and stress caused by
overwork and anxiety. When people are under stress, they may be
Figure 5.1 Possible Organization ofan Essay anxious and irritable. They become difficult to deal with because
they often feel intolerant of other people's mistakes. In addition to An explicit statement of the main idea of an essay is most help-
these psychological symptoms, people under stress ofken show ful to the reader when it is:
physical symptoms. They may experience headaches, muscular
tension, stomach disorders, even ulcers. F I you have had any of 1. general enough to indicate the basic content of the essay,
these symptoms, you should find a way to relieve your stress as but
quickly as possible. 2. specific enough to give the reader the clearest idea possi-
ble of where the discussion will lead.
Answer these questions with your class.
EIIERCISE 3: MXN IDEA
1. What did the first sentence premise?
3 STUDENT WRITING: EXAMPLE 1
2. W a s that promise fulfilled? Explain. Read the following paragraphs in which the topic sentences have
been deleted. After each paragsaph are three possible topic sen-
tences. Select the one that i s both general and specific enough
for that paragraph, the one that will give the reader the clearest
idea of what the paragraph is about. Compare your selections
EXERCISE 2: MA.lN IDEA with those of your classmates. If your selections do not agree,
Read the following sentences. If each was the topic sentence in a discuss the merits of your choices.
paragp-aph, what do you think a reader would expect that para-
graph to explain or prove or illustrate?
. For instance, it is obvious that
I. T h e meaning of the expression "black hole in apace" is fairly all objects will fall and a lot of people before Newton had seen an
easy to explain even to non-astronomers. apple falling from a tree. But Newton's penetrating mind used the
Reader's expectation: simple fact that things fall to the ground to develop one of the most
stabbe theories in physics, the Universal Gravrtational Theory. An
even more difficult task than inventing a new theory is disproving a
2. My interest in International Studies comes from both my per- generally pervasive public belief. Before the Renaissance it was be-
sonal experience and my educational background. lieved that heavy objects fall faster than light objects. But Galiieo's
keen mind disproved this misconception and started a new era in
Reader's expectation: physics. We now believe that at! objects will reach the ground at the
same time in a vacuum no matter how heavy or light they are.
Finally, the most difficult task for a scientist is to go against theories
3. A picnic area on a Saturday afternoon in summer in the
that are popular with the scientific community. Newton's theories
Great Smoky Mountains National Park ia like some picture of were regarded as clearly true by scientists until Einstein's genius
a typically American scene. succeeded in refining Newton's theory into the law of relativity. As
Reader's expectation: these examples demonstrate, scientists may invent new theories but
it takes the lnslght of a genius to help us see the world in a radically
different way.
4. Since I have been in the United States, I have noticed basi- Ali Keshavarzi (Iran) m
.
cally four types of reactions to foreigners.
Select from the following the sentence that best expresses the
Reader's expectation:
main idea.
in explanations of natural phenomena which were ulti- 1, Do these sentences express the main idea you developed
mately proven untrue by great scientists.
in your essay? Yes -NO -
2. Although everybody has intelligence and dedication to
some extent, it takes the creativity of a genius to develop 2. What was the main idea you wanted to develop in the es-
exciting new theories in physics. say?
3. Many scientists have changed our views about the laws of
physics. 3. How weIl do the sentences predict what appeared in the rest
of the essay?
m STUDENT WRITING: EXAMPLE 2 m
. The first difference between Making Main Ideas and Text Fit
Arabic and Engtish is in grammar. For instance, there are about
twelve tenses and eight pronouns in English, but t'here are only As you have seen, the main idea of an essay is usually expressed
three tenses and about sixteen pronouns in Arabic. In English there somewhere near the beginning of the text. However, you do not
are only singular and plural sentences, but tn Arabic sentences are need to know exactly what the main idea is before you begin to
singular, plural, and double. For example, in Arabic we never say write. Although you will probably know the topic you want to
about two people, "They are nice." Instead, we must say, "Both are write on, you may not know exactly what you want to say about
nice." The second major type of difference between English and it until you have done some invention writing and seen your
Arabic is that the Arabic writing system is totally different from ideas on paper. Formulating a thesis or a topic sentence that ex-
English writing. In Arabic one writes from right to left, but in English actly fits your discussion is a form of revising, of focusing more
one writes from left to right. Furthermore, in Arabic if one misplaces clearly and sharply. Once you know more or less what your main
a dot on a ward, the whole meaning of the word changes. In English idea is, that is, once you know what you intend your essay to ex-
misplacing a dot is not particularly important because no matter how plain or prove, keep this idea in mind as you gather information
people dot their i's, the meaning of the letter is the same. These are and write or reread your draft,
some of the big differences between Arabic and English, which On one hand, the way you state or even think of your main
show up especially in grammar and writing to make life hard for poor idea wiII have an important effect on what you then write about
language students. your main idea in your paper. Keeping your main idea in mind
Fadi Zakaria (Jerusalem) m will help you to select what to incIude in your paper and also to
recognize what is irrelevant. On the other hand, you may find as
Select from the following the sentence that best expresses you gather information or write your draft that your main idea
the main idea. changes or becomes dearer to you in different terms. That is
fine. Just change your thesis or topic sentences so that they be-
I. Although different languages are spoken all over the come good summary statements of the ideas you discuss in the
world, all languages are equally useful to the people who essay or paragraph. Then reread your paper and remove any
speak them. statements that are now irrelevant to your new main idea.
2. Lemming a different language can be quite difficult, espe-
cially if you must learn to write accurately in the new lan-
@age. Benefit of Explicit Theses and Topic Sentences
3. Learning to write English presents particular difficulties
for a speaker of Arabic because of wide differences be- plicitly stating your main idea is useful for two reasons:
tween English and Arabic.
1. For the writer: It helps you control your writing by helping
Look at the first few sentences of at least two essays you you decide what to include in your essay and how to orga-
have written. Then answer the folIawing questions for each. nize your ideas. Writing down on paper a clear statement
of your main idea forces you to think through fully what and political causes. Economically, the North was devel-
you want to say and to crystallize it into a few words. oped industrially while. . . .
2. For your reader: A cIear, explicit statement of the main Notice that in the second answer the general statement of
idea helps your reader know quickly what direction you the main idea is not long or elaborate. It is a straightforward
intend to take in the essay and within the paragraphs of one-sentence general answer to the exam question. The general
the essay. This efficiency and clarity are especially impor- answer is then foIIowed by a specific explanation of the main
tant in business or industry, where your audience may be idea expressed in the topic sentence. Because the main idea is
an administrator who wants a quick overview of what you not explicitly expressed in the first answer, it is hard to tell if
wiEI communicate in a report you submit. In fact,in some the student is in contro1 of the information. This answer gives
situations, particularly in technical writing for business the impression that the student's ideas are listed in a random
or indushy, readers will request a statement like this at order, not analyzed logically.
the beginning of a piece of writing: "In this report I a m go- (For further discussion of essay exams, see Chapter 15.)
ing $0 define (or explain or compare X to Y or show or ana- In this section, you have learned about the concept of the
lyze) . . ." However, this kind of blunt announcement thesis, topic sentence, or main idea of a piece of writing. The fol-
violates the conventions of academic writing in some situ- lowing assignments will give you practice identifying and ex-
ations. You should avoid such a statement unless you are tracting the main idea from a body of data.
specifically asked to include one.
There is no rule of English that says a statement of the main Writing Assignment 5.1: Extracting the Main Idea
idea must appear near the be~nningof a paper. In fact, while
You may also want to look a t the following articles in the explain your insight (main idea) near the beginning of the pa-
Appendix to help you think about this topic. per. Depending on your audience, you may need to give some
background information about the setting of the incident. Then
Readings explain the incident that led you ta your insight by telling your
The Quality of Mercy," page 322 story one step a t a time. Conclude your paper by restating
Excerpt from Eight Little Piggies,page 327 your insight in other terms, by explaining that insight more
deeply than you did a t the beginning of the paper, or by suggest-
ing the effects of the character trait that your experience re-
Audience Analysis vealed.
To help you analyze this audience, answer the following 1. Did you find this assignment difficuIt or easy to do?
questions: Why?
2. Did you think of your story first and then figure out the
1. How well do these peopIe know you? point of the story, or did you have a generalization in
mind first and then look for a story to explain it?
2. Why might they want to read about an incident that re-
3. How do you expect your audence to react to your paper?
veals something about you personally?
To laugh? To feel s o w ? To be surprised? Something else?
3. Why might they want to read about an incident that re- 4. What are you most satisfied with in your essay?
veals what any non-native might experience in the com-
munity where you are living? 5. What are you least satisfied with?
6. What will you change in your next draft?
4. Why might they want to read about an incident that re-
veals something about the United States?
Now give your draft to at least one classmate to read and
5. Is your audience likely to have had similar experiences? comment on.
6. Is your audience likely to interpret your experience in the
same way you have?
7. Where will your auhence read your article? In your pres-
ence in the English class? In an article in the local news- Peer Response
paper? In a letter home?
1. State the main idea in your own words without looking
back at the paper.
What you eventually write will be affected by which audience
you choose t o write for and how you anaIyze that audience. 2. Which audience do you think the writer was aiming at?
Keep in mind that your purpose is to reveal something about How do you know?
the United States or about yourself. Do not include information 3. Do you feel that the story explains the writer's main idea
in your paper that does not fit ths purpose. convincingly?
Finally, when you are ready to begin your draft, consider 4. If you had to eliminate any part of this paper, what would
how you will arrange your material. For t h s particular paper, you eliminate?
Find a partner with whom to work and together decide on a Why do you feel that way?
question about a subject currently of interest to you and to your Do you think this should be the case under all circum-
classmates. FolIowing are some topics students have used in the stances?
past. You may choose one of these or come up with one of your If not, when should this be different?
own.
Sometimes the number of people answering yes or no to a ques-
1. How do you feel about cross-cultural marriages? Would tion is interesting in itself. However, asking people why they feel
you marry an American? Why or why not? as they do may yleld even more significant information.
2. How do you feel about a law requiring you to wear a seat
beFt in your car?
3. How do you feel about laws restricting smolung to desig-
nated areas only? Choosing the Sample
4. How do you feel about being required to take English at
There are two types of people you can question. The first type is
this university? (Indicate if you are an international stu-
the "man or woman in the street." These are people who have no
dent or a native student.) special reason for being interested in or knowledgeable about
5. What languages have you learned or failed to learn? the subject. They can D v e you the average personk opinion on
What helped you to learn or prevented you from learning? the subject. This sample might include students in your classes
6. How do y u feel about surrogate mothering? Is it a valid or in your dorm. The second type of people are those who are
way for an infertile couple to have a baby of their awn, o r particularly interested in the subject, perhaps an expert in the
does it allow rich people to exploit poor but healthy area you are exploring, someone who has been affected by the is-
warnen? sue, or someone who has simply thought a great deal about the
issue. These people m a y be particular students, professors, or
In addition to these questiona, consider recent events on your members of the community.
campus that have caused controversy or issues being discussed Whichever type you choose to survey, it is important to get
in your major field. Be as specific as possible in your questions. your participants' cooperation. Do the following for all the people
For example, rather than asking you question:
How do you feel about taking English? 1. Ask for their participation,
2. Make sum they have time to talk to you. This may mean
ask: contacting people ahead of time and making appoint-
ments for times when they will be free to talk to you for a
few minutes. This is particularly important if you intend
How do you feel about international students' being required to to survey people while they are at work (for example, pro-
take a year of freshman English? fessors or administrators).
3. Explain what the survey is and why you are doing the
or ask: survey.
4. Tell participants that their answers will remain confiden- general statement from each group of similar responses, the
tial. topic sentences of your paragraphs.
If you make a brief oral report to the class on the results of
5, Be sure to be prepared yourself. Have your questions
ready, and 'take notes or use a tape recorder to collect your survey, write down any questions your classmates ask you.
your information. You may decide to include answers to those questions in your
written report.
6. When you have finished, thank the participants for their As you write up the results of your data gathering, remem-
cooperation. ber that writers normally interpret data for their readers. This
does not mean that you must give your own opinion. I t does
Both you and your partner should speak to as many people mean, however, that your reader will expect you t~ explain what
as you can (at least ten for each of you). Then,analyze your sam- the raw data means. For example, suppose you find that eight
ple: out of ten international students prefer an American roommate
but that eight out of ten American students are neutral about
Who are the people you questioned? having an international roommate. You might conclude that
What characteristics do they have in common? Consider international students are looking for contact with Americans
their age, sex, nationality, occupation, or any other fea- whereas Americans do not seem to be actively looking for an
ture that you think may influence their answers. international experience. This is not just your opinion; it is an
What is their interest in t h e subject of the survey? interpretation you make for the reader based on the evidence
What is their knowledge of the subject of the survey? you have collected. Be sure your data justifies your generaliza-
How does the issue you raise in the survey affect them per- tion.
sonally?
Arranging the Data
Analyzing the Data: Main Ideas Keep your purpose in mind as you write your report. Perhaps
you simply want to inform your classmates about a group of peo-
Combine what you and your classmate found and analyze your ple's opinions on an issue of interest t o you and presumably to
data. Look for patterns in the data. What responses were given? them. On the other hand, you may have been surprised by your
What reasons were given for those responses? Did the responses findings and may want to share your surprise with your class-
vary depending on the type of people you asked? Perhaps most mates. Perhaps your results expose a situation that you would
students felt one way about an issue, for example, while most like your classmates to try to change. Decide what reaction you
people in the community felt another way. Group similar reac- want your audience t o have to your report, and keep it in mind
tions together. (For a discussion of classification of information to help you decide which of your findings you will report and in
in a piece of writing, see Chapter 16.) how much detail.
Arrange your information systematically-for example, by Begin your report with a statement of the general results of
response (yes, no, maybe, sometimes}, by reasons for the re- your survey and a description of your sample (how many ques-
sponse, or by types of people surveyed. As you look over your tioned, what type of people). Then discuss your data in any order
data, come to conclusions about the opinions of the p u p of peo- that seems logical to you. For example, if you ask the question
ple you questioned. For example, from your findings you may on cross-cultural marriage, you might organize your information
conclude that a large majority of participants in your survey op- like this:
pose the freshman English requirement for international stu-
dents in universities in the United States. 'This general conclu- All those favoring cross-cultural marriages
sion will be the main idea of your entire paper, the thesis
statement, which you will explain or prove by referring to the Reason 1
data you collected through your survey. In addition, extract a Reason 2
All those opposed 3. Was everyone you asked willing to talk to you?
Reason 1 4. W h y did you select the topic you did? W h y is it of interest
Reason 2 to you?
5. In what way was the topic of particular interest to the
Reason 3
people you questioned?
MI those with no opinion
6. How did you come to your main idea from the opinions
you gathered?
Note: If you refer to percentages, avoid beginning a sentence
with a number. Rewrite the sentence to beg-in with a word in- 7. How did you arrange your data for presentation in your
stead. For example, instead of writing draft?
8. What was difficult about writing your report?
40% of the people polled . . . 9. For whom did you write this report? That is, what audi-
ence was in your mind as you chose your subject and
you might write: sample and wrote your report?
Of the people polled, 40% . Now give your draft to at least one classmate.
or:
Peer Response
In their answers, 40% o f the people polled
1. Why do you think the wsiter chose this topic?
If you have a fairly small sample (fewer than twenty responses), 2. W h y do you think the writer questioned the category of
avoid using percentages. The use of percentages implies a large people surveyed? What special interest might they have
sample and therefore might be misleading ta the reader, in the topic?
Instead, use the numbers: "The survey showed that four out of 3. Which of the findings surprised you?
the twenty people questionecEJpolledls~r?reyedfelvsaid/agreed
4. How did the writer organize his or her findings?
that. . . ."
To see how others have used objective data, you may want to 5. Can you think of some other possible ways to organize
read the following selections in the Appendix. these findings?
6. What conclusions did the writer reach about the answers
Readings to the survey? What are the implications of those an-
Excerpt 1 from Savage Inequalities, page 331
swers?
"History Proves It: Other Systems of Naming Work," page 337
Here is an example of the sunrey report one student wrote
When you have collected all your data, drawn your conclu- for a class like this one. 4
sions, and decided how much information to include and how to
organize that information, write your first draft. When you have rr STUDENT WRITING
finished your draft, answer the following questions.
Americans' Idea of Foreign Students at UT
As a foreign student in thls countv, I have often wondered how
Self-Analysis Americans think about us, international students, especialy in
school. From our survey about Americans' ideas of foreign students,
1. What did you learn from this survey that was interesting we found out that all participants in this survey had posltive ideas to-
to you or that surprised you? Or did you expect the re- ward international students. The result was different from my expec-
sults that you got? tation that there must be a number of people who have negative
2. W h y did you select the group of people you questioned? ideas about international students.
In this survey, we asked e~ghteenAmericans about their ideas to- tural exchange. At least we can say that most Americans who are in
ward foreign students around them. There were ten questions in- UT have positive ideas about foreign students.
cluding three questions of hypothetical situations (what would you Momi Yarnanaka (Japan) a
do if . . . ?). These three quest~onsassessed how the person
would react to specific situations. The purpose of one question was
to figure out whether Americans have stereotypes of foreign stu- Revision
dents. I also included a questlon about the partcipant's background
which might affect their attitude toward international people. Using your first draft, your self-analysis, your classmates' re-
We learned that all our participants have a favorable impression sponses to your draft, and what you have Eearned from this
of international students. All people answered that they would help chapter, revise your first draft. 4
foreign students when they needed some help from an American
even if the foreigner's English was imperfect. Afthough one partict-
pant expressed his frustratron with talking to non-native speakers, SEQUENCED WRITING PROJECT: SURVEY
he also answered that, like other part~cipants,he would try to talk
with foreigners using easy words. Our participants told us various %uencedWriting Follow all the directions from Writing Assignment 5.2 beginning
ways of helping international students, such as using gestures and Project
drawing, and even finding another person who came from the same
on page 89, except for the references to worhng with a partner
and t o selecting a subject, since you already have a topic.
foreign country as the student to interpret his explanation.
The participants in our survey did not care when many foreigners
got together and talked in their own language. One day I heard an
American say that he did not like to see internattonat students
The next assignment in the Sequenced Writing Project, the
interview report, appears in Chapter 6. -
gather together and speak only their language. I wondered tf this
ldea was common among Americans. However, most of our survey
participants answered that it did not bother them at all. Several peo-
ple kindly recommended international students use English as much
as posslble in order to Improve their language skills.
Among eighteen participants, fourteen people did not have a
chance to be with a foreigner when they were a child. Most of the
people met their first international friends in high school. These stu-
dents answered that there were one or two exchange students
around them. My expectation that only those people who had for-
eigners around them when they were children would have positive
attitudes toward foreigners in general was false. However, the expe-
rience of exchange students in high school may have helped
Americans' positive attitudes toward international students.
Contrary to my conjecture, many Amencans have positive atti-
tudes to foreign students. However, because the sutvey conditions
were not perfect, we need to cons~derthe survey results. The survey
condition limited the number of participants and kinds of peopfe (all
are UT students). In addition, the fact that the questioners were for-
eigners might have affected the results. There may be some who
have negative attitudes to foreigners. Still, the results of our survey
indicate there are many people who are interested in the sound of
another language, or In learning about another culture or language,
or who think it is good to have international students at UT for cul-
USING
-
SPECIFICS
INVENTION FOR WRITING MSIGNlWENT:
USING OBJECTIVJ3 DATA The typical pattern that English writers follow is to say some-
To give you some examples of how writers use objective data to
support their ideas, read the following articles from the
Appendix and in this chapter.
flu,,,, ..
thing fairly general and then to give more specific information to
,=,l s~~,,,~. Student
writers have trouble with this seemingly easy pattern because it
is not always so obvious to them what is more general and what
Readin* is more specific.
Excerpt 1from Sauage Inequalities, page 331
Student Writing by Anne Gouraud, page 67 EXERCISE 1: SPECIFICS
Student Writing by Son Sang Gng, below Look at the fotIowing pairs of phrases. In each pair, which item
is more specific?
s STUDENT WRITING
Eating at the crowded and noisy Strong Hall Cafeteria, one of my
school careterras or canteens, as we say in Hong Kong, can be a re- nervous hands shaking,voice
ally entertaining experience if you just relax and watch the scene. quivering
Because of its large slze and central location on campus, more than
smell of b a h g bread good, sweet smell from the
three hundred students crowd there during each eating time.
oven
Different noisy groups are formed, like the basketball players, foot-
bafl players, and especially the punks and the freshman kids, occu- reds, blues, and greens many beautiful, brilliant
pying the long tables in the bright yellow main hall. The noisiest colors
group is the punks, who laugh rudely every ten seconds. Wearing a huge,strong dog a fulI-grown German
red, pink, green, and yellow T-shirts, those punks have peculiar hair shepherd
styles, like the one who has the mushroom-shaped hair on top of his a room with white bare a room that seemed
head but has no hair on the lower part. They probably major in fine porcelain walls completely sterile
arts or rock bands. The second noisiest group is the freshman kids, the kind of people who never the lund of people who wear
who look and act like high school kids. They like throwing French quite got over the youthful bib jeans with a hole in the
fries at each other and giggling and screaming all the time. As for hippie culture of the 1960s seat, and have long,
me, 1 just sit in my corner, enjoy my American hamburger, and watch with its emphasis on straggly hair with a red
this Arner~cenrock concert-like scene. country naturalness and bandanna around their
Son Sang Kong (Hong Kong) r simplicity and on head
rebelliousness against
In a Writing Assignment later in this chapter, you will prac- authority and propriety for
tice using specifics as well as generalizations by describing a its awn sake
Pertinent means that the support must be directly related t.a the
certain social regulations for Japanese women, sentence 6, for
example, does not belong. Sentence 6 makes a comment on sen-
tence 5, but it has nothing to do with the social restrictions on
women. Sentence 10 also gives information that does not relate
to the main idea. Tf the student wanta to keep the same main
generalization or the main idea you are trying to explain. One idea, he must remove the irrelevant sentences or rewrite them
common problem student writers have is m a h g irreIevant somehow to fit his main idea. On the other hand, if he wants to
statements, ones not directly pertinent to the main idea. In the keep these sentences, he must alter the main idea. One possibil-
folIowing composition, the student was explaining the origins of ity might be to reorient the entire discussion to focus primarily
certain restrictions on Japanese women, but he included infor- on different aspects of life in feudal Japan, which might include
mation about his subject that was not related to his main idea. a discussion of social prescriptions for women. In any case, the
Read the article, and then write the numbers of the irrelevant supporting material the student selects must fit the main idea
sentences in the space provided. he expresses.
Sentences 4, 11, and 12 present other problems. They are
m R C I S E 7: SUPPORT more closely related to the student's topic, but sentence 4 seems
out of place where it is. Can you suggest another place to include
STUDENT WRITING the information in sentence 4? Sentences 11 and 12, on the other
hand, have not been interpreted for us by the author. As a re-
( f ) You may have seen on television or in the movies that sult, the connection between revealing teeth and revealing mari-
Japanese women cover their mouths when they laugh. (2) Why do tal status is not clear.
Next, consider the specific support material in your discussion. How did I arrange ths iinformation?
Read each sentence and ask yourself: Is there any other way to arrange the information, consider-
ing my auhence and purpose?
Is this sentence clearly and directly related to the main W o d d another arrangement be better or worse for my par-
idea? ticular audience and purpose?
Do I make any statements that must be interpreted in order
for my reader to make the connection between that state- When you have finished writing, rereading, and analyzing
ment and the main idea? your draft, answer the following questions.
Revision
Supporting Material
Revise your paper, incorporating any suggestions from your
classmates that you found useful. 4 You have collected a great deal of material, and now you must
select which details from your list to include. To help you decide,
- Writing Assignment 6.2: Description and Objective Data ask yourself the folIowing questions:
Now give your draft to at Ieast one classmate to read and com-
ment on.
7 PROFESSIONAL WRITING
tion is the first part the reader reads. In fact, some writers write 3 One Miracle, Many Doubts
the conclusion first, then develop their ideas, and write the in-
troduction last, after the draft is already finished. You too may The dying heart was an ugly yellowish color when Dr. William
find this order easier in your own writing. DeVries finally cut it loose, tore it out of the Mercurochrome-stained
Nearly all introductions perfarm three functions: chest cavity, and put it to one side. For the next three hours, while a
nearby heart-lung bypass machine kept the unconscious patient
1. hoohng readers and convincing them to take the time to alive . . . PeVries' sure hands carefulEy stitched into place a grape-
read the article, essay, or book fruit-sire gadget made of alumnum and polyurethane.
Getting Attention The placing of a baboon heart into the chest of little Baby Fae
caused indignation in many quarters. f o r some, who might safely be
The first sentence (or first few sentences) in a short introduction catled eccentric, the concern was anirnat rights.
is usually meant to be the hook that will entice or interest as (Charles Krauthammer, Time 3 December 1984,
many readers as possible t o continue reading. The following are p.87) *
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126 - Unit 2 Working with a Drafl Chapter 7 &ginning and Ending Drafts --
6 Meaning in the Child's Language As you can see, the writers of these introductions have used dra-
matic description, narration, striking words, a quotation, and a
How do children learn the meanings of words? The words they
question to attract the reader's attention.
hear are all new to them, Adults faced with unfamiliar words can Most writers believe that they have something worthwhile
consutt dictionaries, or ask other people, or try to guess the meaning to say and will try to get the reader at least to begin reading the
from the context. Adults face this problem only occasionally, but article. The writer may ultimately be unsuccessful in getting the
young children face this problem ail the time. One-and two-year- reader to read the entire article, either because the reader is not
olds obviously cannot consult dictionaries or ask other people, but interested in the subject or because the writing itself is not in-
they can and do make use of context. teresting enough. The writer does usualIy try, however, to show
(Adapted from H. H.Clark and 2. V. CLark,
in the introduction that reading the article will be worth the
Psycholugy and Languags. New York:
reader's trouble.
Harcouri Brace, 1977, pp. 485-86) a
EXERCISE 2: INTRODUCTIONS
7 Racism and Cross-Racial Hostility In small groups or as a class, make a list of ways to begin a piece
Racism is all around us. We eat, deep, speak and breathe it. We of writing that are likely to attract a reader's attention.
see ~t everywhere. We feel it inside us. We are discouraged by it
more often than not-discouraged because fewer and fewer perpe-
trators of racism are even conscious of their racist behavior-of
perhaps they don't care
(Virginia R . Harris and Trinity Ordona in Glorja
Anzaldua [eds.], Haciendo Caras: Making Face,
Making Soul) a
EXF,RCISE 1: INTRODUCTIONS
Now answer these questions. Although the hook i s often fun to write because it is shod
and sometimes dramatic or entertaining, it is probably the least
1. How did each writer try to get the reader's attention? important part of the introduction. In fact, the hook is missing
That is, what words or images were meant to be particu- altogether in many, if not all, academic papers. If a hook ap-
larly interesting or dramatic? pears, it will usually be fairly serious: a quotation, statistic, or
interesting fact, rather than an exclamation, joke, or story, far
example. There is little need to entice your teachers to read your
papers; they will do so whether you use a hook or not.
Notice that the writer did not use these words or this statement Doctors have known for over 100 years of the power of hypnosis
anywhere in the article, yet the statement expresses his main to alleviate pain. Now increasing numbers of medical schools are
teachmg dwtors to use hypnosis to end suffering frnm
idea and suggests that he will support his main idea in two
toothaches, migraine headaches, childbirth, and even extensive
ways:
bums. Hypnosis works by distracting the patient's attention so
powerfully that, although the pain remains, the patient no
1. by explaining how this procedure advanced science longer notices it. Amazing as ~tmay seem, some patients can be
2. by arguing that human life is precious and that every- so deeply hypnotized that they could undergo open heart surgery
thing possible should be done to save it without anesthetic.
EXERCISE 3: VIEWPOJNF Do you have the feeling that there should be more informa-
Review the compositions you have done for this class. Can you tion about this subject or that something is missing here? What
restate your main idea For any of them in terms of the 'Although else do you expect?
X, Y because 2" formula? Complete that formula here for any
that you can.
A good conclusion leaves the reader feeling that the writer
* has discussed all the important points on the topic laid out in
the thesis statement and that everything promised at the begin-
ning has been said. The conclusion oiten begms either with a
comment referring to the kast point made or with a transitional
expression announcing the conclusion. A conclusion may:
Remember that this formula usually works best when your arti- 1. quickly summarize the main ideas or main points made
cle states and defends a particular position. In that kind of writ- in the discussion
ing situation, use the formula as one way of testing whether you 2. interpret the discussion or explain why the discussion is
have a strong thesis. important and what it suggests
Now choose a paper you have already written and write a 3. link the main idea of t h e text to the future or to some
new introduction for that paper. Try to include: broader issues not specifically covered in the article
I. a hook that will entice the reader to continue reading
The conclusion in a short composition may be one sentence; in a
2. whatever background the reader may need to understand longer essay, the conclusion is often a paragraph of several sen-
your ideas, to be reminded of the issues surrounding your tences; in a book the conclusion is often a separate section or
topic, or to see your topic in its context chapter.
3. an explicit statement of your main idea or thesis Here are examples ofhow the article on hypnosis might con-
clude.
Doctors have known for over I00 years of the power of hypnosis
CONCLUSIONS to alleviate pain. Now increasing numbers of medical schools are
teaching doctors to use hypnosis to end suffering from
The last of the three parts of a typical essay in English is the toothaches, migraine headaches, childbirth, and even extensive
conclusion. As with the introduction, the conclusion may be re- bums. Hypnosis works by distracting the patient's attention so
duced or nonexistent in some writing situations, particularly powerfully that, although the pain remains, the patient no
once again in an essay exam. Normally, however, an article, es- longer notices it. Amazing as it may seem, some patients can be
say, or research paper without a conclusion sounds strange. so deeply hypnotized that they could undergo open heart surgery
Read the following example. without anesthetic. Thus, by helping sufferers intensely f*
Here the writer linked the use of hypnosis to the future and to PROFESSIONAL WRFTlNG
the broader issue of a more naturalistic approach to medicine. 1. Whether economic resurgence was another factor which saved
Here are the concluding statements from some student es- the treasures of Tutankhamun's tomb is not certain. Two tunnels
says you have already read. Notice that conclusions have a par- were found to have been dug through the entrance hall debris, but
ticular sound to them. Can you characterize that sound? fortunately for all of us the thieves were not successful.
6. Still, researchers realize that they now face their toughest ad-
versary. Roaches have been plodding though human kitchens since
the dawn of cooking. And through 250 rnlllion years of evolution,
they have so far remained a jump ahead of the best efforts to eradi-
cate them.
(Andrea Gabor, "Planned Parenthood for Roaches," 3. Which words in each conclusion establish a link to the
BusinessWeek 22 April 1985, p. 92) preceding paragraph?
7. But for patients such as Robert Etter, the ability to see normally
without glasses is well worth the risk. Two weeks after his surgely,
an enthusiastic Etter said he was "going round doing everything I
couldn't do before without glasses. When I go to night clubs now, I
don't have to get so close to see what the ladies look like." That
Introductory paragraph
hook
- background or connectingflinkingmaterial
statement of the thesis of the entire paper
Now choose a draft of a paper you have already written and (and so on)
add one paragraph of conclusion. In your concluhng paragraph,
try to mention the significance or the implications of what you Concluding paragraph
discussed in the paper. -
first sentence = some comment on the previous idea discussed
If yon have trouble writing your conclusion, write whatever (sometimes)a summary statement refersing to all the main
you can on a separate page. Then give the rest o f the essay, with- poinb made
out the conclusion, to at least three dassmates. Ask each of (often) a look toward implications or significance of the
them to write a concluding paragraph on a separate sheet of pa- discussion in the paper
per. Look at all four conclusions, your classmates' and your own,
and do one of the following: Figure 7.1 Diagram of an Essay
1. Choose the conclusion you like best of the four, and add it
to your essay.
2. Combine the elements you like of each one into a new
conclusion.
Even more so than the first few sentences of an introduction, a
3. Together with your three classmates, decide on the best title is meant to attract a reader's attention. Of the following
conclusion or best way to combine the elements of the titles, whch ones most attract your attention?
four conclusions.
The Using of Baby Fae
Student writers sometimes find it helpful to think of an in- Tutankhamun:The Golden Pharaoh
troduction, discussion, and conclusion in diagram form. In a typ- Scaling the Walls of Silence
ical essay, the pattern is something like that shown in Figure
Finding Faults: Earthquakes
7.1.
"Nonverbal Communication" (page 344) follows this basic Bringing Up Baby:A New Kind of Marketing Boom
plan. Try to identify each part of that essay using the plan. Planned Parenthood for Roaches
PART 2
EXERCISE 6: TITZES
What do you notice about all the titles here? List what you no- WRITING FROM OBSERVATION AND EXPERIENCE
tice about the following:
1. capitalization Unit f Getting to Draft One
2. punctuation Chapter 2 Getting ldeas and Starting to Write
Chapter 3 Preparing for a Draft
3. length of title
m Chapter 4 Writing a First Draft and Getting Feedback
Do not underline the title or put quotation marks around it. ;hapter 9 Polishing Revlsed Drafts
EXERCISE 7 : TITLES
Write three possible titles for a composition you have written.
Then give your composition to a classmate. Your classmate
should choose the title he er she likes best of the three, and add
one more of his or her own.
get it. No one stole anything from me. The most surprising thing,
though, is how dean the campus and this city is.
1 find a lot of similarities with my country, which I thought was the
only place which was not dangerous and people were friendly.
Another student read the draft and made the following com-
ments.
I wish you included more details like explanations about why you Other Changes:
thought it was dangerous to walk around at night and now you think
you are never h danger. . . . I don't think you need the part about
living on campus and that people there have the same interests as
you. Also, how do people respect your privacy and how do they
show their kindness?
The student used her classmate's comments to help her decide The student responded to her reader's suggestion to add
what to revise. Here is her first revision. some details and t o delete one section. For example, she added
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146 Unit 3 Reworking the Draft Chapter 8 Reuising -- 147
an explanation of why she thought it would be dangerous to needs to be alone. I also found that it's not so dangerous to walk
walk alone at night, mentioning a fiIm she saw. But she does not outside at night. Since I've been here no one has been raped or
make an explicit connection between the film and the reason she robbed. I've never even lost anything. In fact, once I forgot my purse
thought walking alone would be dangerous. The mention of this in the South Carrick Halt lobby and later I went back to see if it was
film is not well integrated into the paper and therefore seems there and nobody had taken it or touched it. The most surprising
somewhat artificial, as if the writer herself was not sure why she thing though IS how clean Knoxville is. There is always someone
had added it. What do you think is the connection between the cleaning the roads, sweeping the pavement, emptying the trash
film and the danger she believed e i s t e d in the streets? cans. Courtyards, dorms, and all the buildings are always clean.
Before I came to the States I thought that Cyprus was the most
1. Using this student's first draft, try to respond to her
reader's need for additional explanation by integrating
secure place to live in. After having lived here for eight months, I re-
alize that the United States has a lot of sirnilarities:with my country.
her example of "This is America" into the text better. Use Annabel Drausiotis (Cyprus) a
a separate sheet of paper. Try to imagine what she was
trying ta accomplish by mentioning this movie. Feel free
to make any necessary changes in order to integrate this
EXERCISE 2: REVISING
What kinds of changes did the student make this time?
addition. Now compare your work with that of your class-
mates; decide on the best revision. Why is it best? Additions:
2. The reader commented that the paper should include
more detaiIs. Which parts of the first draft do you think
the reader was referring to? Circle these parts.
3. Now circle any sections of the second draft where you
want more details.
Here is the find revision of the student's paper.
The way 1 felt about the United States and expected it to be was
different from the way I found it and the way I look at it now after be-
ing here for eight months. Everything I knew about America was
from what I had seen an TV: mostly cowboys and murderers. I Other Changes:
thought that people were hostile, that they didn't talk to strangers
because they didn't trust them. I was afraid of walking alone at night
because of the high risk of being robbed or attacked for a few dol-
lars or even being killed for no reason. I had seen such crimes com-
mitted in the film "This is America," which shows Mafia, drugs, all the
murders that were committed for money. Americans seemed to be
tough and dangerous. I also noticed in movies that big cities like
Do you think that the final version is better in general than the
New York, Los bngeles, and Chicago seemed to be very dirty. The
second draft? Circle the sections that are more eflective in the fi-
subway in New York looked dark and somehow greasy; blg avenues
like Fifth Avenue had extra garbage falling out of garbage cans on
nal version than they were in the previous versions. How do the
the street.
changes improve these sections?
When I came here though, I realized that people are very friendly;
a STUDENT WRlTlNG
they talk to you even if they do not know you. Since I had the idea
that Americans were hostile and selfish, I was surprised to see that Here is another example ofthe first draR of a student's paper.
they are kind and respect a person's privacy. For example, if they
know you are studying at the dorm, they won't leave the music loud There is a surprising amount of difference between the American
and nobody disturbs you. People realize that sometimes a person and foreign students at the University of Tennessee in their activities.
The Americans in general love to play games like football, tennis, outside his apartment playing catch with his other friends. In the late
baseball, and other outdoor sports. On the other hand, foreign stu- evening, he strums his guitar together with his friends. He loves to
dents are less lnvolved In outdoor games. Instead they prefer to watch football and is there at the stadium to support the home team
watch the TV. During the football season, big groups of American whenever there is a game. He appears to be enthusiashc about it
students go to the stadium to support the home team. They appear and encourages me to join him. On Friday night, he has a barbecue
to be very enthusiastic about it. Very seldom can you find fore~gn or a party with music being played till late at night. Durlng the week-
students at football games. Most of the foreign students must be at ends, he is out washing his car and doing some other minor adjust-
home doing some studying. In the off-campus area, especially on ments or repairs. Being a student seems relaxing far him and he is
Friday night, groups of Americans have parties and barbecues, with able to pursue his non-academic interests. I, on the other hand, am
loud music being played till late at night. For the fore~gnstudents, having quite a tough time with my studies. I study till late at night
there seems to be little cause for any celebration. Though there is a every day as I am taking many courses. I seldom b v e the time to
marked difference in our involvement in various activities. we are all play games as 1 have to put in a lot of time studying for the nwrner-
fun-loving people. ous examinations. 1 love to play games and to party till late at night,
but I can't do that as 1 am restricted by my workload. The only time
Were there any parts of this paper where you wanted further ex- that I can enjoy myself thoroughly is during the break. Being a for-
planation? Circle those sections. eigner, I have to struggle hard to get my degree and achieve good
grades within the shortest possible time. Time and money are not an
Here are some comments the student received on this draft. my side as it is very hard on my patents to pay my fees, which are
very h~gh.I have to graduate as I will need to support my family in
Why do you say there is no cause for celebration for the foreign the near future.
students? I think it depends because I am a foreign student and I go My American neighbor does not have the same problems as I
to parties. Also I think it is a contradiction when you say "we are all have. He can take h ~ stime completing his undergraduate program.
fun-loving people." Being an American, he does not need to do weH in his studies if he
chooses not to. This is because he can get a job easily without get-
Your paper is ver)r good but I disagree with one thing. Americans ting g o d grades in his school work. If I were like him, life as a stu-
stay home and watch sports on TV, not foreign students. I play on dent would be very interesting and exciting for me too.
the university soccer team and most of the other players are foreign Tong Kheng Loo (Singapore) r
students. I think the Americans watch TV all the time.
Other Changes: main idea appears in your draft (or even if it is only im-
plied), is the main idea clear to you? Do you think it is
clear to your audience?
4. Considering the audience you are writing for and your
purpose, analyze the deveEoprnent of your paper:
a. Support material: type and amount
Do you need to develop any ideas more fully? Do
Do you think that the second version is better than the first? you need to be more specific or concrete in your expla-
Does the second version seem to fulfill the purpose the student nations? Look again at the questions you asked your-
set out for himself better than the first version did? Why or why self on page 116. How would you answer them now?
not? Did you include a11 the information you heeded t o dis-
In the second version, the student comes to some conclusions cuss your topic as fully as you wanted? Should you add
about his own experience as a student and the experience of his anything to your discussion?
neighbor. Do you think that these conclusions are justified based b. Support material: relevance
on his description of his own activities and those of his neighbor, Did you give your readers enough background in-
or do you think that they are unsupported generalizations? formation for them to understand not only your ideas
but also the relevance of your discussion? Is there any
irrelevant information, information the audience ei-
- Writing Assignment 8.1: Revision ther already knows or does not need to know in order
to understand your explanations? Should you delete
any sections of your discussion?
Writing Choose one of the drafts you have already written and received Have you said anything your reader is likely to
Assignment feedback on. Reread the draft and your classmates' feedback. Are disagree with? Have you answered those anticipated
you satisfied with this draft, or are there sections that you couId objections? Have you said anything your reader may
improve by adding, deleting or substituting, or moving ideas not understand?
around? Analyze your draft once again, using the following ques- c. Support material: arrangement
tions as a guide. Does your discussion move smoothly and logically
from one idea to the next? Is each new idea explained
1. First answer these questions about your audience: sufficiently before you move on to the next one? Are
Who is your audience? What interest do they have in the ideas clearly linked together? Do you lead your
t h s subject? What do they already know about this sub- reader step by step to understand your ideas? Should
ject? you rearrange any sections of your paper?
2. Then answer these questions about yourpurpose: 5. Analyze your condusion:
What did you want to accomplish by writing this pa- Does the conclusion develop logically from what you
per? To entertain your audience? To educate them? To in- have written? Do you think it gives the reader the feeling
spire them to do something? To help them understand that you have said everything you intended to say about
something new? To help them see something familiar your subject?
from a new point of view? To change their minds about
something? If you aye unsure of the answers to any of these questions,
3. Next write the main idea of your draft, in a complete sen- get the opinions of a reader or two. Ask them the specific ques-
tence. h k yourself these questions: tions you have doubts about.
Is the main idea stated somewhere near the begin- Use the feedback you have received to help you decide what
ning of the paper? If not, would the paper be more effec- to revise in your draft. Then revise by adding, deleting, substi-
tive if you did state the main idea? NOmatter where the tuting, and/or moving ideas around.
In some writing situations-for example, writing an essay As you can see, all these sentences give the same message, b u t
exam or an informal letter-it may be impossible or unneces- they use different words. Read the following sentence.
sary t o take the time to polish your writing and find a better
way to state your ideas. In other writing situations, however, ex- Some Chinese are reluctant to fotlow the government's program;
nevertheless, they also realize that China has to reduce its rate
pressing yourself carefully and correctly is extremely important.
o f population growth.
One instance of such a situation is writing an essay as part of an
application form for a job or for admission to a school. Because On a separate sheet of paper, express the idea in that sentence
you want to produce a favorable impression of yourself in this in three different ways.
situation, you want to write as clearly and as correctly as possi- W h e n you have finished, compare your sentences with those
ble. The following section will help you learn how to polish or written by your classmates. Write a few of the different versions
perfect a piece of writing. on the board.
The original sentence was perfectly acceptable. But as you
saw, there are many ways to manipulate even a good sentence.
The following example is not a good sentence. The ideas are
REPHRASING loosely joined with and or but, wkich do not clearly show the re-
lationship among the ideas. As a result, the writer had to repeat
Hint 10: Once When you are revising, you reconsider large chunks of your es-
your ideas are on some words several times and had to use too many words for the
say. Your main concern is content-that is, what ideas you ex- ideas being expressed.
paper, check the
grammar, vocabu- pressed and in what order. Once the revisions are finished and
lary, spelling, and you are satisfied with the ideas you have expressed and the or- If someone only has one child and then that child grows up, then
punctuation to der in which you expressed them, it is time to concentrate on there will only be that one child to take care of the parents be-
make the writing improving smaller sections of your paper. Your main concern cause usually the child can share the responsibility with the
as .correct as you will now be how you say something rather than what you say. brothers and sisters, but in this case there aren't any.
can.
Some of your sentences may need rephrasing and/or editing.
Rephrasing has to do with making a sentence clearer and more Be sure you understand the meaning of this sentence. Then
to the point [that often means shorter). Editing means making a write three alternative ways of expressing the same idea in one
sentence grammatically and mechanicalIy correct. or two sentences. Zky to clarify the relationships among the
ideas and eliminate unnecessary repetition.
Write some of the alternatives suggested by the class on the
board. In general, a good sentence in English is clear and direct
Alternative Sentences and does not use extra, unnecessary words t o express an idea.
Are there any good alternatives on the board?
Any idea can be expressed in a number of different ways. Look
Now read the following paragraph. The second sentence is
a t the idea expressed in these sentences. awkward and does not fit well between the first and third sen-
tences. The l a n ~ a g eis more informal than that in the other
Because of its large population, China has begun a strict program
sentences, and the relationship among the ideas in the sentence
to try to discourage couples from having more than one chrld.
is not directly shown. Perhapa the writer did not know a t the be-
Couples in China are being strongly encouraged to have only one ginning of the sentence what the end would say. As a result, too
child because the population there is already so large.
many words were used to express the ideas in the sentence.
In order to decrease the number of people living in China, a new
government program is urgently promoting the idea of one-child A recent study on classroom behavior in elementary schools in
families. the United States shows that teachers behave differently toward
Showing the Relationship between Ideas 1. Which expressions in the text indicate that more information
will be added?
Read the following passage, which expresses one author's view
on only children (that is, a child with no brothers or sisters): 2. Which expressions show that one sentence will follow the pre-
vious statement in sequence?
Children who grow up without bmthers and sisters may have a
particularly difficult time adjusting to life. Many younger cou- 3. Which expressions indicate that the sentence will contradict
ples now want only one child. Only children get their parents'
undivided attention and love. They may be extra generous with something said earlier?
their own love. They may expect their spouses to give them un- a
EXERCISE 4: RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN IDEAS theless) cannot be used interchangeably in all contexts.
Now look at the following passage and try to make it easier to Furthermore, some connectors are more likely to be used in for-
read by adding words to show the relationships between sen- mal situations, others in informal situations:
tences more clearly.
The families of these women did not trust them. Consequently,
they do not trust themselves. (more formal)
Do you ever secretly feel that your academic success i s the result
of luck rather than the result of your own intelligence? If so, you The families o f these women didn't trust them. So, they don't
may be suffering from the 'impostor phenomenon." People suf- trust themselves. (more informal)
fering from this psychological condition do not believe that they
are really intelligent despite their academic successes at Consult your teacher when you are not sure if a certain word
school. , these people feel guilty because they may be used in a particular context.
believe that they have deceived their teachers into thinking Depending on where they appear in the sentence, logical
they are intelligent, while they themseJves feel deep down that connectors function differently in sentences, are punctuated dif-
they are not. ferently, and change the emphasis in the sentence.
The impostor phenomenon occurs mostly among young
women, especially among beginning graduate students, women
who are obviously intelligent. These women usually grew up in Logical Conrsecto~s..Qpe I . Type 1 consists of adverbs,
one of two types of families. In the first type of family, some such as however:
other family member was designated the smart one in the family
and the girl with the impostor feelings was designated as some These women have impressive academic records. However, they
thing else. , whenever that girl was successful refuse te believe in their own intelligence.
academically she felt as though she were tricking people. She
felt. sure she wasn't the intelligent one in the family. After all, Note where these adverbs may appear in sentences and how
that's what her family had aiways told her. they are punctuated.
of Family is the high achiever type that
believes success or achievement comes easily and naturally for 1. . However,
really superior people. As a result of this attitude in the family,
the child may become afraid te admit that achievements have 2. ; however,
come from hard work. , one young woman who
suffered from impostor feelings never let her family see her 3. , however, -
studying they had told her that really smart 4. , however.
people don'tneed to study. , she felt that if she
studied and got good grades, she was tricking people lnto think-
ing she was intelligent. She knew she couldn't really be intelli- Los'cal Connectors: Q p e 2. Type 2 consists of preposi-
pent, because she had to study and she had been told that intel. tional phrases made up of prepositions (such as despite) and
iigent people don't have to study. nouns or pronouns:
Even though their academic achievements prove their intelli-
gence, these women cannot think of themselves as intelligent. Despite their academic achievements, these women refuse ta be-
they think of themselves as cheaters, hiding lieve In their own intelligence.
from the world the truth that they are not as good as they seem,
that they are only impostors. w The preposition must be followed by a noun phrase, a noun
clause, a gerund (verb ending with -ing),or a pronoun. Note
See Appendix C for possible answers. where the prepositional phrases may appear in a sentence and
Compare the logical connectors you used with those uged by how they are punctuated.
your classmates. Underline as many other transitional expres-
sions and subordinators as you can find in the passage. 1. Despite -!-nounlgerund,
In using transitional expressions, you should be aware that
even words with similar meanings (such as however and never- 2. despite + noudgemnd.
Logical Connectors: o pe 3. Type 3 consists of adverbial These women have impressive academic records, yet they refuse
subordinatbrs or clause markers (such as although) followed b y to believe in their own intelligence.
clauses:
Coordinators join two complete sentences
Although they have impressive academic records, these women
refuse to believe in their own intelligence.
r STUDENT WRITING
IBangles, bracelets, and arrnbandsjare worn the world over as
in Japanese culture when your decoration, but because of their h~story,in Pakistan they are the
teacher or mother is talking to you, you have to lower your head to symbol of menls[oppressionlof women. It is said that n the old days,
show that you respect her. But in my culture, if you put your head women were keptlcha~nedlbytheir husbands and wera treated as
down whlle your teacher or mother was talking to you, she would m l n fact, they were farced to w e a r m w i t h the coming
thrnk that you are not paying attention to her. of Islam, men became more civilized, but old traditions die hard. So
I
bangles and bracelets1took the place
you can easily tell whenever became the symbols of women's
somebody is lying to you. T C -some spe- However, as time passed, yellow and red colors were added to
cial gestures that people unconsc~ouslymake whenever they are ly- the lbanglesland they became more ornamental and varied in de-
ing to somebody. Some of such gestures are: scratching their nose sign. Gradually, precious metals were used in
or behind their ear, coughing a couple of times, or looking toward more ornate and expensive the better. Since
the floor as though they were trying to avoid looking in your eyes. the time when a woman belonaed to her husbandas his property,
Carlos Gun (Honduras) only married women wore Ithem.] A woman put Jtheml on when she
4. Try reading your text one sentence a t a time beginning at 3. Using what you have learned in this section, work with a
the end instead of a t the beginning. By doing this, you classmate to improve your style and correct any errors in
will not be distracted by content and will be better able to your draft. Consult other classmates or your teacher if
concentrate on form. you have probkems. q
EXERCISE 10: AUTOBIOGRAPHY Spanish society. Since I knew Spanish people were not going to ap-
This draft is about 550 words long. Since the application re-
quested a 300-word essay, the draft must be shortened consider- pear magically to practice conversing, I realized I had to be assertive
ably. Keeping in mind that this is an appIication for a teaching
job outside the United States, shorten the essay to fewer than and outgoing as well as not be dependent upon my American friends.
300 wards by deleting any irrelevant information and combining
information from several sentences into one sentence. The first The best way I knew to learn about the culture and people and to as-
few sentences have been done for you. h you shorten this essay,
keep in mind the qualities of personality, education, and experi- similate into society was to live with a Spanish family.
ence that ths writer probably wanted t o project t o his potential
employers. Thus, I decided to live with a Spanish working-class family. My deci-
As an adolescent living next to Colombian and Cuban neighbors, sion was one of the best I have ever made. I not only learned
I became extremely interested in studying Spanish. Thus, Spanish well and some Catalan, but I also acquired a second family.
Arts degree in Spanish literature.,- class I have ever taken. With an open mind and an open heart, I be-
-.---.-*'-.--".-~uaternala only amused my about their cultures. During our semester breaks, I traveled through-
curiosity more about the world and other cultures. My next goal I out Europe.
Peer Response
Cont~nuationof Take the autobiographical statement you have written and ex-
Writing
Aswgnment 9.2
change papers with at least one other student. Use the following
questions to guide your response to your classmates'papers.
PART 3
APPLYING WRITING PROCESSES FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES:
ANALYZING, EVALUATING, ARGUING
, "
Using Published Sources
Chapter 10 Sum , Paraphrasing, ai
Chapter I t Doa Sources
Journal Suggestions
Summarize a movie you have recently seen or a novel or
story you have read. Write as much as you can in 10 min-
utes. Then spend 10 more minutes explaining how this book
or movie was important ta you personally, to society, or in
the world of art.
Summarize a class lecture that you found particularly inter-
esting. Write as much as you can remember of the lecture in
10 minutes. Then spend 10 more minutes explaining what
made this lecture so interesting to you.
different from one another, reread that paragraph and select the Or:
heading that best states the subject of the paragraph.
Cramming, according to Keith Ablow in his article "The Dangers
Which paragraph seems to state the main point the author of Cramming,"c a n do more harm than good.
wants to make in this articIe? Paragraph (Note the correct punctuation and capitalization of the citation.)
Write that main point or thesis here. Continue the summary, using your list of subheadings and
your groupings as a guide to help you remember the main points
covered in the article. At least once in your summary, remind
your readers that you are summarizing by using.a phrase like
Now look at your list of subheadings and group together t h e following:
headings that deal with similar subjects. Give each p u p i n g a
name. The author goes on to say
EXERCISE 2: SUMMARY
Now read the following summaries of this article. Each sum-
mary has good features, and each also has some weaknesses.
Now write a short summary (100 to 150 words) of this arti- Look back to the beginning of this section to review the points to
cle. Remember that the summary should be in the present tense. keep in mind when writing a summary. After you have finished
Begin by mentioning the original source. Here are possible ways readmg each summary, list its strong and weak features. Use
to include the source. the following checklist.
A good summary should da the following:
In his article entitled The Dangers of Cramming," Keith
":1 1
Ablow ( informs us) that . . .
shows us
Include a mention of the source.
Correctly interpret the original.
Include no editoriaI comments.
Or: Include only the most important points, without details.
* Use the summarizer's own words, not those of the original
In "The Dangers of Cramming,"Keith Ablow author (unless in quotation marks).
the problems . . .
Summary 1
Or:
In T h e Dangers of Cramming," Keith dblow explains that stu-
The article T h e Dangers of Cramming" by Keith Ablow exam- dents who try to stay up all night studying for exams are probably
ines the negative effects . . . doing themselves more ham than good. Most of these students did
not bother to study hard enough during the term and when exams sleep before n big day, usually 7-9 hours. Stimulants used to help
come they feel they have to t r j to catch up and learn everything all students stay up all night may trick the students into feeling awake
at once. The problem with disrupting normal sleep patterns in this even when thew minds are going to sleep on them and they stare
way is that the students may fall into a temporary intellectual lapse, vacantly for minutes at a time. In addition, even mild stimulants such
and after the exam the next day they lament the obvious answers as caffeine can cause unpleasant side effects if taken in too great a
they blew because they just couldn't focus. Ablow points out that us- quantity. Moderation is the watch word. Study during the whole term,
bng stimulants to stay awake can be dangerous because they can not just before the exam; you are sure to do better in school if you
cause unexpected slde effects. On the other hand, most young peo- don't overdo it.
ple can recover from an "all-nighter" with one good night's sleep.
Some students suffer from not being able to fall asreep when they Summary 1
are nervous and others may worry about sleeping too much, but the Strong features Weak features
author advises moderation and regular sleeplng hab~tsas the best
formula.
Summary 2
Contrary to what many students think, staying up all night to
Summary 2
study for an exam is not very e f crent. Such a disruption in sleeping
habits can actually make the student less mentally alert the next day Strong features Weak features
and cause "micrcsleeps," in which the student cannot concentrate.
Taking drugs to help stay awake can cause "Caffeine Intoxication
Syndrome" with accompanying headaches and feelings of anxjety,
according 20 neurologist and sleep therapist David Buchholtz of The
Johns Hopkins Hospital In Baltimore. Although for most people it
would probably take at least 10 cups of coffee to produce this syn-
drome, some people are so sensitive that they can develop unpleas- Summary 3
ant side effects with onfy 2 or 3 cups of coffee. In most young people
Strong features Weak features
other kinds of sleep disorders are rare or ternporaty and one good
night's sleep can get them back to normal. As with many other
things, the best advce is to not make major and drastic changes in
sleeping habits and always think in terms of moderation.
Summary 3 Now look at your own summary again. List its strong and weak
According to Keith Ablow in 'The Dangers of Cramming," if you features just as you did for the sample summaries.
stay up all night try~ngto study for an exam, you may find yourself
the next morning actually less prepared for the exam than if you had Sltrong features Weak features
just gone to bed, gotten a good night's sleep, and taken your
chances with the exam. The reason is that major disruptions in sleep
patterns can cause a lack of mental alertness, so that even if you
studled for the exam you may not be able to remember much the
next day. Furthermore, no matter what people say about not need-
ing much sleep, scientists know that everyone needs a good night's
Use the summarizing procedure outlined in this section t o write Original Author's Response
a summary of either "Who Are Smarter-Boys or Girls?" (page
367) or "Are Men Born with Power?" (page 371). Remember that 1. Did your dassrnate cite your name and the name of your
the first step in writing a summary is reading the original care- essay correctly? If not, make the necessary corrections.
fully until you feel you understand it. You may also want to refer
2. Did your classmate accurately state your main points? If
to the notes you took earlier on this selection (page 185).Your
not, correct any misinterpretations you found.
summary should be about 100 to 150 words long and should
show that you understood the argument in the selection. 3. Are there details in the summary that could be elimi-
When you have finished, exchange summaries with a class- nated?
mate. Evaluate each other's summaries, using the following 4. Is the summary between 100 and 150 words long? 4
questions as a guide.
When you have finished answering the peer response questions, . . . While it is obvious that poisonous materials which may be
rewrite the summary your classmate wrote. In your revision, the by-products of manufactu7ing must be destroyed somehow, we
make any corrections you feel are necessary. Give the revised must be very careful of how we destroy them. Otherwise, we might
At this point, the writer needs specific facts to support her "Often it was overloaded, smothering the countryside in acrid
claims. She wants to use information from an article entitled smoke so dark and dense that firemen on the horizon would take it
"Storing up Trouble: Hazardous Waste" in National Geographic for blazing houses and race over."
in March 1985. The article includes a report on the efforts of a
woman named Verna Courtemanche to close down a hazardous To paraphrase this sentence, you can try one oftwo methods.
waste incinerator near her town, The plant, which was operated
by a man named Charles BerIin, was badly polluting the atmoa- 1. Read the sentence several times carefully to hake sure yau
phere. This is the section that the writer wants t o use in her understand the meaning. Then cover up the sentence and try
paper. writing down the substance of the sentence from memory in
your own words.
"In 1972 Berlin and a partner opened a hazardous waste inciner-
ator. Often it was overloaded, smothering the countryside in acrFd
smoke so dark and dense that firemen on the horizon would take it
tor blazing houses and race over."
Now check the original. Did you leave anything important
In order to incorporate this information from the article in her out? If so, add it.
paper, the writer first has to change what she has written so
that the new infomation will fit smoothly.
Did you use exactly the same words as the original? If so,
. . . While it is obvious that poisonous materials which may be change them.
the by-products of manufacturing must be destroyed somehow, we
must be very careful of how we destray them. Otherwise, we may
find ourselves in a situation like that of a small town in New England
in 1972. when . . . If this method works for you, use it, If not, try the following
method.
Complete this sentence by paraphrasing just the first simple
sentence from the article. Be sure t o change both the words and 2. Begin the sentence differently and change all the nouns,
verbs, adjectives, and adverbs you can as you complete the
the structure of the original sentence. sentence. You can also break one long sentence into shorter
ones or combine ideas in short sentences into one longer one.
Complete the following sentence beginnings by paraphrasing
You may have written something like this:
the original in four different ways.
1. Sometimes firemen
. . . when a plant, owned and operated by Charles Berlin and
another man, was built to bum hazardous waste.
2. Because Berlin put too much waste in his incinerator,
Notice that hazardous waste does not have to be changed be-
cause this is a technical expression. Although you must normalIy
change the original worhng, you may use a technical term from 3. The incinerator often
the original if there is no word t o sub~titutefor it.
1. The corrosive fumes turned convertible car tops into rags, USING QUOTATIONS
reddened children's faces with rash, and swelled their
eyes shut. In summarizing and paraphrasing, you use your own words to
2. Citizens living near the incinerator and its Foul lagoons
saw the value of their homes crash and believe that their
health is threatened.
a explain or report someone else's ideas. In quoting, you use not
01., mother a ~ t h o 8 sideas or material but also that author's ex-
act words. Writers quote sources rather than paraphrase them
when the original wording is particularly striking or interesting
3. Verna Courtemanche . . . led a decade-long fight to get or when they want the reader to know exactly what another
federal and state government to intervene and begin a writer has written.
cleanup. Quoting a source is somewhat complicated because of all the
4. Verna and fi-iends harried state officials by phone, rally, conventions that must be followed. In the simplest form, when
and letter for four years before Berlin's noxious dump site you use someone else's exact words, you put quotation marks
was permanently closed. (two, not one) on either side of the quoted material. In t h e pre-
5. The owner of the facility, when faced with legal action, ceding exercise, you paraphrased sentences from an original
abandoned the site and declared bankruptcy. source. You might also have quoted the original instead of para-
6. Illegally buried containers unearthed by cleanup crews phrasing. Here is an example of how to punctuate a quotation.
Notice that the quotation marks are placed around the entire When only a few words of the original are particularly strik-
quotation, not around individual sentences. Also, the quotation ing, you may quote just those words and paraphrase the rest of
marks are placed after the final period. the sentence.
Quotation marks always appear immediately before and af-
ter the quoted words. They can never stand alone at the begin-. When work crews finally arrived to clean up the dump site, they
ning of a line, like this: found metal cans buried underground filled with. "a witches'
brew" of deadly chemicala.
'Citizens living near the incinerator and its foul lagmns saw the
value of their homes crash and believe that their health is threatened. Occasionally, it may be necessary to insert a word or two
into the quoted material in order to clarify the quotation far the
reader. This happens rarely, but it may be done by putting
Sometimes when you are quoting a source, you may find that
brackets around the one or two added words.
you don't need all the words the original used. When this is the
case, you may skip a few words in a sentence or even a few sen-
In an effort to close the plant, "Verna [Courtemanchel and
tences in a paragraph. To show where you left material out, use friends harried state officials by phone, rally, and Ietter far four
three dots, or ellipsis points. years. . . ."
Living in the vicinity of Berlin's dump site soon became intolera- The brackets indicate that you, the writer of the article, have
ble. According te a National Geographic report, The corrosive
added your own words to a quotation taken from another source.
fumes turned convert~blecar tops into rags, reddened children's
faces with rash, and swelled their eyes shut. Citizens . . . saw Finally, if you are quoting more than about 50 words or
the value of their homes crash. . . ." three lines, separate the quoted lines from your own text by in-
denting the entire quote, as i n the following example. Notice
If you want to quote several sentences from a paragraph but not that when the quotation is set off in this way, quotation marks
a11 of them, use ellipsis points between the sentences you quote are not used.
to show where other sentences have not been included. Ellipsis
points tell the reader that material is missing. The corrosive fumes turned convertible car tops into
Sometimes when material is leR out, the remaining words raga, reddened children's faces with rash, and swelled
do not fit smoothly into your own text. In order to create a their eyes shut. Citizens living near the incinerator and
smooth fit, you will need to manipulate your own text andlor its foul lagcans saw the value of their homes crash and
eliminate words from the quotation. How might you manipulate believe that their health is threatened. Outdoor activity
the paragsaph above, for example, if you wanted to add the fol- eventually became restricted to wallung between house
lowing infomation: and car, so repulsive and potentially dangerous was the
air.
Y e r n a and friends harried stab officials by phone, rally, and let-
ter for four years before Berlin's noxious dump site was perma- In typewritten compositions, the entire quotation is indented
nently closed." five spaces on both the left and the right side and centered on
Here is one possibility: the page. The quotation is often single-spaced to set it off even
more from the rest of the text.
Living in the vicinity of Berlin's dump site soon became intolera- It is important to follow the formal conventions for quoting
ble. According to a National Geographic report, T h e corrosive and paraphrasing, but it is even more important to develop a
sense of when to summarize, paraphrase, or quote material from Follow the directions in this chapter on writing summaries,
a printed source. What you do will depend mainly on your as- paraphrasing, and quoting; the directions in Chapter 7 on writ-
signment. If you are asked,for example, t o report on a particular ing introductions and conclusions; and the directions in Chapter
article or book, you will probably summarize most of it, para- 9 on showing the relationship between ideas to create: a coherent
phrase especially important points, and quote sections that not whole. You should, for example, decide which document you will
only are important but that have been written in an especially summarize first, second, and third and provide some logical link
striking way. between the summaries-for example, mentioning that the next
On the other hand, when you are asked to develop your own summary contains a different type of information from the last,
ideas, you m a y use another writer's material to support your or elaborates on the information from the last, or approaches the
ideas. AppIy the same criteria you use when you are selecting topic from a different perspective. Remember to include a thesis
supporting material from your own experience and observations. statement in the introduction that will make it dear what the
But remember that it is still your paper. It should not become point of this paper is with its three summaries. This may prove
simply a collection of ideas and quotations from other sources. to be quite a challenge, and you may wish to get extra help from
Use paraphrases and quotations to support your points, not to your classmates or professor.
substitute for them. When you finish your paper, ask a classmate to read it.
Be sure you understand your assignment. You may want to
consult with your professor about whether you are expected
merely to report someone else's ideas or to develop your own, Peer Response
supporting them with outside sources, or perhaps to combine a
report with your own evaluation. 1. Was the writer successful in linking the three document
Even when you are merely reporting on someone else's mate- summaries together in one paper with a dear main point?
rial, use quotations sparingly --only when the exact wording of If not, where do you see problems?
the original is particularly striking or important. Othenvise, 2. Are the three sources given correctly in each summary?
paraphrase the ideas in your own words. 3. Did the information from the sources seem important, in-
teresting, or useful? If not, where do you see problems?
4. Does it seem that paraphrases and quotations were used
SEQmNCED WRSIWG PROJECT: SUMMARES well? If not, where do you see possible problems?
Documenting Sources Here are some correct and incorrect examples of using and docu-
menting this original source.
Version J
When you use material from an outside source in your writing,
The Beardslee and Mack study, based on questionnaires given to
you must cite the source. In this chapter, you will learn the ba: hundreds of school-age children, shows that in t h e i p u p exam-
sics of how to document published sources in your own work. ined, a significant number were "deeply disturbed" about the nu-
clear threat, profoundly pessimistic, and often just plain scared.
HOW NOT TO PLAGIARIZE This version uses the exact wording from the original with-
out quotation marks around the sentence, and there is no cita-
You should first understand something about using published tion to show where this statement comes from. This is the most
sources. What authors write. their ideas and their words. are obvious form of plagiarism.
considered to be their in a sense, just like a coat'or a
car. If you want to use someone else's properky, you must ask to Version 2
borrow it. If you want to use someone else's ideas or words, it is The Beardslee and Mack study, based on questionnaires given to
considered extremely important in English writing ta "give hundreds of school-age children, shows that in the group exam-
credit," that is, to say exactly who wrote these words or ideas, ined, a significant number were "deeply disturbed" about the nu-
and when and where they were written. If you do not follow the clear threat, profoundly pessimistic, and often just plain scared
conventions of quoting and giving credit, you are considered ta (Barash 85).
be stealing, or plagiarizing, someone else's ideas or words.
Plagiarism is considered quite a seriom offense; in some cases, In this version, the student added a citation. But the citation
plagiarism is actually a crime. alone i s not enough since the student still used the exact words
Students sometimes say that they use an author's words be- of the original. Both the quotation marks and the citation are
cause the author writes better than the students feel they can. necessary.
You may use another author's words as long as yon make it clear
that these words were first used by that author. Remember, how- Version3
ever, that quotations should aIways be used sparingly. Hundreds of school-age children were given questionnaires. The
This section wiIE demonstrate how to use and cite another results showed that a significant number were profoundly pes-
author's material. First look a t the following paragraph from an sim~sticand often just plain scared (Barash 85).
article by David P. Barash called W h a t to Tell Children About
Nuclear War.."The article appeared on page 85 of Science Digest Although there is a citation and some of the wording has
in July 1986. been changed, this version still plagiarizes the original. There
are whole phrases that are written in the original form, not in
the student" sown words.
r PROFESSIONAL WRITING
A study by psychiatrists William Beardske and John Mack has Version 4
shown that American children become aware of nuclear war before "Hundredsof school-age children were given questionnaires. The
age 12. Among older children, one haff say this awareness affects results showed that a significant number were profoundly pes-
their plans for marriage and the future, The Beardslee and Mack simistic and often just plain scared" [Barash 85).
Version 7 Note that the period goes aRer the citation, while the quotation
As a result of their study of hundreds of children, researchers marks go aRer the last word quoted.
BeardsEee and Mack have come to the conclusion that *in the If there is no author, use a shortened form of the title of the
group examined, a significant number were 'deeply disturbed' article in the citation. For example, the citation for an unsigned
about the nuciear threat, profoundly pessimistic, and often just article entitled "Faking the Red Menace," whlch appears on
plain scared"(Barash 85). page 1of a journal called Nution, would look like this:
This version is also correct. Here the student combined her (Faking 1)
own paraphrasing with a quotation of the most stnking part of
the original text. She made certain her words and those taken If your school has a student paper, get a copy for each person
directly from the source fit together; she quoted accurately and in class and together decide how diflerent articles from that pa-
cited her source. per would be cited.
Conservatives complain that media are too liberal, and yet the (Note that only the first author's name is listed last name furst.)
same news organizatians that are being criticized are the ones
who are broadcasting the attacks (Reynolds 6).
For a source with three authors:
~ l l i s ,Mark, Nlna 0' Dsiscoll, and A d r i a n P~lbeam,Prof esslonal
Original from a book: English. London: Longman, 1984.
this excerpt is taken ftom the edition published by PeIican When you use information from published material be sure
Books in New York in 1971. First read the excerpt quickly to get to cite and document whatever you use carefully and accurately.
the main idea of each paragraph.
<.< ... . .. . .. * . ?, . 1 . I
5
In the 1950's this America worned about itself, yet even its anxi-
eties were products of abundance. The title of a brilliant book [The
Affluent Society, by John Kenneth Galbraith] was wrdely misinter-
Project
your bibliography an a separate page. -
three sources you aumrnarized in Chapter 10. Be sure to begin
preted, and the tarniliar America began to call itself "the affluent so-
ciety." There was introspection about Madison Avenue and tail fins;
there was discussion of the emotional suffering taking place in the
suburbs. In all this, there was an implicit assumption that the basic
grinding economic problems had heen solved in the United States.
In this theory the nation's problems were no longer a matter of basic
human needs, of food, shelter, and clothing. Now they were seen as
qualitative, a question of learning to live decently amid luxury. While
this discussion was carried on, there existed another America. In it
dwelt somewhere b e m e n 40,000,000 and 50,000,000 citizens of
this land. They were poor. They stitill are.
To be sure, the other America is not irnpovetlshed in the same
sense as those poor nations where millions cling to hunger as a de-
fense against starvation. This country has escaped such extremes.
That does not change the fact that tens of millions of Americans are,
at this very moment, maimed in body and spirit, existing at levels be-
neath those necessary for human decency. If these people are not
starving, they are hungry, and sometimes fat with hunger, for that is
what cheap foods do. They are without adequate housing and edu-
cation and medical care.
The Government has dccumented what this means to the bodies
of the poor, and the figures will be cited throughout this book. But
even more basic, this poverly twists and deforms the spirit. The
American poor are pessimistic and defeated, and they are victimized
by mental sufferfng to a degree unknown in Suburbia.
PART 3
APPLYING WRITING PROCESSES FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES:
ANALYZING, EVALUATING, ARGUING
g Tasks
, 4
Lnaprer i z Hnalyzlng Issues
13 Responding to WrifterI Arguments
- 14 Argrling from Written Material
I
,
ANALYZING BOTH SIDES
school? In college? Of foreign students? Why? Should physi-
cal education be a requirement? ShouId students get credit
for courses like bowling, ping-pong, dnver's education, ten- One characteristic of academic writing is offen an objective or
nis, dancing, gymnastics? Poker? Why or why not? How neutral tone. That means the writer tries to sound calm and al-
much time is reasonable ta have a young child, an adoles- moat uninvolved, even if he or she actually feels very strongly
cent, a college student spend in class per week? How much about the issues discussed. To help you develop an objective tone
When you have made comments on each of your points, consider I. Are yau satisfied overall with the essay you wrote?
again your audience and purpose and select the points you wilI 2. What parts do you think are most successful?
include in your analysis. Remember that your supporting points 3. Do you feel that you have maintained an objective tone in
must be appropriate and sufficient in number for your audience the essay?
Chapter 6 will help to understand and perhaps agree with your analysis. (See the 4. What parts do you feel unsure about or dissatisfied with?
you select and following sections of Chapter 6, "Selecting Supporting Material"
arrange your sup- 5. How would you improve the essay if you had more time?
porting material.
and "Arranging Supporting Material." You have several options
for organizing your points on this subject: 6. Did yon find this topic interesting to write about? W h y or
why not?
Discuss all the strengths and then all the weaknesses, or
vice versa. Now give your essay to a classmate to comment on. If you
wrote about your educational system, find a classmate who is
Arrange your points in order of importance, from most im- unlikely to be familiar with it.
portant to least important or vice versa.
Discuss a single feature a t a time, mentioning both the posi-
tive and the negative aspects of that feature before dis- Peer Response
cussing the next one.
I. What kind o f hook did the introduction use to get your at-
Perhaps your material will suggest another, more appropriate tention?
arrangement. In deciding how to organize your information, 2. What is the main point of each paragraph?
3. How is the discussion organized? at learning languages than others? What is it that makes
language learning so difficult? What can people do to im-
4. What parts of this essay require more explanation for the prove their ability in a second language? What helped you
intended audience? Are there any sections that are diffi-
the most when you were learning English?
cult to understand because they refer to aspects of the
topic with which you are unfamiliar?
5. Are there any sections that simply list facts instead of an-
alyzing them?
6. Are there any sections that do not sound neutral and ob-
- Writing Assignment 12.2: Problem on Campus
jective? Writing Use the insights you developed in the previous assignment to
12.2
ks;siflment
'7. Is the analysis balanced? That is, are both the positive help you analyze and discuss a pmhlern objectiGely. Think of
and negative features of the topic discussed? things you have objected to since you began studying here. You
8. What is the best part of this discussion? W h y do you may want to look through old journal entries for ideas. Are there
think so? policies in this school, for example, that have seemed unfair or
senseless to you?
9. Do you have any further comments or suggestions?
You may also want tci think about the different kinds of
problems discussed in the following reading selections in the
Appendix.
Readings
Try to get responses from a t least two classmates. You may find "Voices from the College Front," page 382
it useful to write brief responses to their comments or short Excerpt from Two Years in the Melting Pot, page 361
notes about what you want to consider for your next draft. Then
gather your invention writing, your first draR, your classmates'
responses, and your self-anaIysis and revise your essay. 4. Invention
Begin thinking about this subject by first making a list of these
policies. Try to think of policies that other people may not realize
EXPLAINING A PROBLEM cause problems for someone like you. For example, some schools
close their dormitories during Thanksgiving or Christmas, and
In the next assignment, you will be explaining a problem. To get this policy can cause problems for international students who
you thinking about problems, consider writing on one or more of have no place to stay during these holidays. Then select two or
the following suggestions. three of the policies that annoy you the most. Write each of these
policies at the top of a page and list under each one exactly what
your objections are. Then choose one of them to develop into an
Journal Suggestions essay. Continue inventing by creating an internal dialogue in
which one voice complains about the policy and the other voice
What is cdture shock? Have you ever experienced it? Can answers the complaints. (Or use some other invention technique,
you remember when it began, how you felt, and how you if you prefer.)
began to recaver from it? Do you have advice or suggestions Keep these points in mind:
for other people who are suffering from culture shock right
now? Choose a policy that could reasonably be changed.
What are the major social problems in your country right Avoid subjects that people always complain about, like the
now? Crime? Racism? Divorce? Overpopulation? Explain as lack o f parking spaces or the boring food a t the cafeteria,
much as you can about the pmblem(s1. unless you feel that you can explain some aspect of the
Do you learn languages easily? W h y are some people better problem others are unaware of.
When you have finished a draft of your paper, answer these When you have considered your classmates' responses, reread
questions: your draft, your invention writing, and your self-analysis. Then
revise your paper. 4
1. What is the problem, and for whom is it a problem?
2. How has this problem affected you personally?
3. How did you come up with this solution to the problem?
4. Is your solution realistic? Could it actually be adopted to SEQUENCED WRJTING PROJECT FINAL REPORT:
solve this problem? ANALYSIS OPTION
5. What are the main objections to the solution you propose?
6. Can you think of any negative results that might occur if Sequenced W n t ~ AS your final report in the Sequenced Writing Project, you may
Project choose to analyze and report on your findings here or you may
your solution were adopted?
7. Can you think of anyone who might be adversely affected choose to make an argument based on the material you have
by the solution you propose? gathered. If you choose to develop an argument, see Chapter 14
and Writing Assignment 14.2 for help and directions.
8. Has anyone thought of this soIution before as far as you
Yau have now explored your topic by writing about its impor-
how?
tance to others and t o yourself, doing a survey, interviewing an
9. Why has this problem not been solved before? expert, and summarizing documents on your topic. You now
know a great deal about your topic. In this final report, you will
Peer Response draw on all your previous explorations.
First reread all the papers you have written so far for this
project. Also look again a t your notes for these assignments.
Now exchange papers with at least one classmate and answer
Because some time has passed since you made those notes, you
these questions.
may have a new perspective and you may now decide to include
material that you had previously skipped. You may also want to
I. How familiar were you with this problem before you
push your ideas on this topic further through some of the inven-
read the paper?
tion strategies you have learned or developed.
2. From reading only about the problem, what solution Analyze all the material you have gathered and reread it.
could you have proposed? Refer to the questions on pages 221 and 222 for help. Choose a
3. Is the problem discussed clearly enough so that you can main theme or thesis that you want as the core of your final re-
understand the solutions proposed? port and several points you would like to make about your topic
4. How many solutions are proposed? based on everything you have learned or written. Include only
5. In discussing the best solution, did the writer show how the most interesting, informative, or convincing material you
it addresses each issue raised in the statement of the have gathered. As you decide how to organize your information,
problem? refer to the questions and suggestions on page 226. As usual,
6. To what extent do you think that the best solution pro- consider whom you intend as the audience for this report and
posed is a reasonable response to the problem? what you consider its purpose to be: that is, what are you trying
to accomplish with this report?
7. Can you think of any negative consequences that might
As you write this report you will probably find yourself citing
result if the proposed solution were adopted?
information or perhaps wanting to quote either from your own
8. What comments do you have,on the tone of this paper? previous papers written for this project or from your published
9. What is the best feature of this paper? sources. Be sure to follow the conventions you learned in
10. Do you have any other comments to improve this draft? Chapter 10 and 11. Don't forget to include a bibliography. To cite
Self-Analysis
Responding to
I. Why should your audience be interested in reading this
Written Arguments
report?
2. What are you satisfied with in this project? In this chapter you will be writing about education. To get ready
3. What are you still dissatisfied with? for the Writing Assignment, consider writing on one or more of
4. If you had this project t o do over again, what would you the following suggestions.
do differently?
Give your report to at least one classmate for comments. Journal Suggestions
* Read the following quotation and comment on it in your
Peer Response ~ournal.
. . . the school [is], . . . at least in part, an institution that
1. How important or interesting do you find this report? adapts ideology to changing economic and social conditions,
2. How easily can you follow the writer's ideas? and produces a new version of ideology for each generation.
3. How well has the writer used his or her data to explain or Schools not only teach academic knowledge; they teach
illustrate points made in the repod? work according to schedule, acceptance of authority, and
4. What is the best feature of this report? competition among individuals and between groups. They
also help provide a justlflcatlon for the hierarchies of society,
5. What is its weakest part?
so that, for instance, people accept that manual labor should
6. What can you suggest to the writer to strengthen any pay less than mental labor.
weak parts? (Greg Myers, 'Reality, Consensus, and Reform
7. What other suggestions do you have t o improve this re- in the Rhetoric of Composition Teaching,"
port? College English Feb. 1986) r
Do you agree with this point of view? Why or why not?
Revision What do you think of the idea of teaching children a t home
instead of in schools? What advantages do you think there
-
Read your classmates' comments and reconsider all your own
writings on this topic. Now revise your paper.
might be if the parents handled the child's education? What
disadvantages?
far from reliable, and the conclusions have been based on achieve- dividuals they are endowed with certain characteristics and
ment scores which measure only mastery of factual detail. attributes-'gifts" of nature-which represent their potential suc-
Unfortunately, there are no reliable devices for measuring growth cess in life. Where children have certain 'gifts" in common, they
in such areas as creativity, attitudes, personal adjustment, latent in- should be allowed to work and study together.
terest and talent, and Innate capabrlity. (Kenneth Mott)
My opinion, which is based on more than a decade in the class-
room. is that learning skyrockets when individuals are grouped ac- a PROFESSIONAL WRbTING
cording to interest and ability and are motivated, challenged, and in- Grouping the Gifted: Con
spired by a type of school work that will yield some measure of
success to them. An argument often advanced on behalf of special classes for
Heterogeneous classrooms frequently produce frustration in chil- gifted children is that in regular classrooms these dildren are held
dren who are persistently unable to do the same work that most of back and possibly thwarted in their rntellectual growth by learning
the other children do. Frustration is also produced when bright chil- sttuations that are designed for the average child. There can be little
dren are not properly challenged by their school work, as is too often doubt that special classes for the gifted can help them to graduate
the case in heterogeneous classrooms. earlier and take their place in life sooner. On the other hand, to take
I have little fear of gifted students' being pushed beyond their en- these students out of the regular classroom may create serious
durance, for I have faith in the ability of most teachers to recognize problems for them and for society.
the limits to which any student should be pushed. On the other Far example, in regular classrooms, we are told, the gifted child
hand, I don't believe giftedness should be wasted away simply be- bemmes bored and loses interest in learning. This complaint, inci-
cause a bright er talented student IS content to proceed at what is- dentally, is heard more often from adults, parents, or educators than
for him-a snail's pace or to stand at the top of a class of students from students. Nevertheless, on the strength of these complaints,
with less abilty. some parents and educators conclude that special classes should
Several schools with which I am familiar have experimented with be set up for the gifted.
grouping the gifted in a reading program. (Their regular procedure Although some children at the top of their class do complain of
had been to have three or four reading groups in one classroom un- being bored In school, the issue of why they are bored goes far be-
der one teacher. The teacher's time was divided among several yond the work they have in school. If the findings of psychoanalytic
small groups.) Investigation of feelings have any validity, feelings of boredom arise
The experiment involved putting slow readers from different as a defense against deep feetings of anxiety. To be bored is to be
cla~sroomsin one classroom, average readers from different class- anxious.
rooms in another class, and fast readers in stiff another class. Each The student who is bored by his studies is the student who can
classroom still had one teacher, but he no longer had to divide his take few constructive measures of his own to manage his anxieties.
time among several different groups. The control group consisted of Consequently, he represses or denies them; he must ask others,
a class organized and taught under the regular procedure men- specifically his teachers, to keep him frantically busy, studying and
tioned above. competing intellectually so that he will not fee[ anxiety.
After two years,the researchers found greater overall progress at The gifted child who is bored is an anxious child. To feed his neu-
aP reading levels in the experimental group. In fact, some slow read- rotic defense mechanisms may serve some needs of society, but to
ers joined the average ones and some average ones moved up to nourish h ~ sneurosis certainly does not help him as a human being.
the fast group. In this case, special ability grouping patd dividends Psychology, like nature, does not permit a vacuum. If study mate-
all around. rial does not hold the student's attention because of his easy mas-
1 believe the same results could have been achieved in science, tery of it, the result is not necessarily boredom. Other intellectual in-
social studies, mathematics, or English. By decreasing the range of terests can till the unscheduled time. Is it reasonable to assume that
interest andtor ability leveb, the teacher is able to do more toward gifted children learn only when pressed by the curriculum?
helping individual growth. Several years ago 1 obsenred what happened to a number of
While I do not believe that children should be regarded as re- gifted children who were taken out of a highly accelerated, highly
sources to be molded to the needs of society, I do believe that as in- competitive, private school and placed in a public high school of
2. What examples did Bettelheim use, and what were they sup-
to society
posed to prove?
6. Where did Mott show that he was taking into account the ob-
to society
jections of the other side?
6. Where did Bettelheim show that he was W n g into account
Separating gifted children from average children will have
the objections of the other side? the following disadvantages:
7. How did Mott show that the objections to his opinion were not to the gifted children
valid or significant?
to the average children
Writing You have summarized the arguments and analyzed the tech-
Assignment13.1 niques each writer used to defend his position. These activities
were meant to heIp you understand both sides of this issue. Now
think over your own reactions t o the two arguments. In this as-
signment you will respond to one of these essays. You may agree
or disagree with the basic position, or you may agree or disagree
with specific points from the argument. Although you may eveen-
Now that you have analyzed the strengths and weaknesses of
tually change your mind, decide, before you begin to write, on both arguments, what is your own position? Did either writer
your own position on this issue and analyze it by asking yourself
change your thinking about whether gifted children should be
what you have read, heard, seen, or experienced that makes you
educated separately?
feel as you do. Why do you agree or disagree with these writers?
Now begin to construct your response. You do not need to re-
Begin by indicating which arguments seem most and least con-
spond to every point made. Instead, pick two to four especially
vincing to you and why.
interesting or convincing or unconvincing points that you would
like to comment on, either to agree or to disagree. Choose points
Mott's Arguments from each author or from just one. State those points here.
Most convincing Why?
Invention
Least convincing Why?
Explore your ideas by discussing your subject with classmates
and other friends. They may give you some ideas you had not
thought of before. Before you begin your first draft, do some kind
of written invention activity. Try looking at each point you listed
above and writing down whatever ideas come to your mind ei-
ther in agreement or disagreement. If you disagree with an idea,
answer or object to the point by offering contradictory
examples phrase, or summarize from the original. At the end of the paper,
insights on a separate sheet, include a bibliography.
In academic writing, your tone should remain calm and logi-
expIanations cal. If you attack another piece of writing too viciously or if you
information attack another writer personally, you wiU discredit your own
writing and lose the support of most members of an academic
that the writer chd not consider, know about, or incIude. In addi- audience. Keep in mind that a convincing argument also dis-
tion, you may want to list, brainstorm, outline, loop, or cube to plays the writer's ability t o understand the other side of an ar-
explore your ideas. gument and to concede or admit the persuasiveness of any op-
Your audience is your classmates, who have also read both posing points that are valid.
essays. Your purpose is a combination of informing and c o n ~ n c - When you have finished your first draR, answr the follow-
ing in order to provide your classmates with new perspectives on ing questions.
or insights into the ideas discussed on this subject.
Journal Suggestions
What assumptions do people in your country make about a
young couple who has just gotten married? What do their
parents and society expect of them? What do they expect of
each other?
Are girls brought up differently from boys in your culture?
At what age do people seem to start treating them differ-
ently? What differences are there in their behavior? At what
age can you see these differences? Think back to your expe-
riences in elementary school, for example. How do the differ-
ences in upbringing become apparent in the adult male and
the adult female?
When did you first consciously realize that you were a boy or
a girl? Is there an incident connected with that realization?
How did life change for you after that point? How did your
attitudes about yourself and others change? Have you ever
wanted to be the other sex? W h y or why not?
How does your culture view men and women who never get
married? Who never have children? Is there much pressure
When you finish reading, spend 10 minutes freewriting Compare your senfiencewith those o f your cIassmates and try to
about your general reaction to what you have just read. This come to an agreement. Now list important supporting points and
freewriting will help you put together the next Writing your reactions.
hsignment.
Supporting points Your reaction
EXERCISE 1: ANALYZING ARGUMENTS
When you have finished writing your first reaction to the arti-
cles, analyze each one objectively. Each essay makes an argu-
ment. Summarize Linton's argument (in "Primate Studies and
Sex Differences," page 353)in one sentence.
Linton argues that Finally, what is the main point of the Van Leeuwen article
('A View from Other Cultures: Must Men Fear Women's Work?"
page 389)? The article summarizes three explanations for the
were you ever bored? Do you think your boredom was only a 3. food additives
symptom of anxiety? Tf your pers~nalexperience contradicts 4. AIDS
Bettelheim's statement, you probably did not believe him. W h y
ia Betteiheirn's statement a t least worth considering? For many 5. druglgenetic abnormality testing
readers, the mere fact that this statement appears in print is not
6. women in managerial positions
enough to convince them, especially if their personal experience
contradicts it. On the other hand, Bettelheim is a well-known 7. surrogate mothering
child psychologist who has studied and written on child psychol-
ogy for many years. Because of this fact, most readers would not 8. nudear power plants
immediately dismiss his statement, even if they were quite sur-
prised by it. Bettelheim has credibility because of his education 9. censorship
and professional experience. In persuasive writing, it is particu- 10. arranged marriages
larly important to establish your credibility, that is, to convince w
your reader that you know what you are talhng about. You can
establish your credibility by showing that your knowledge of the Your credibility as a writer on any subject is strengthened if
subject is based on: you show that you are familiar with and have seriously consid-
ered opinions that do not agree with your own.
Education, training, or both
Extensive personal experience or obsewation
Reading or other contact with authorities on the subject
Tone
Because writer credibility ia sa important, ask yourself as
you write or prepare to write what makes you enough of an au- Academic arguments are characterized more by logical appeaI
thority on the subject to convince an audience to believe you. than emotional or ethical appeaIs. Students sometimes become
What in your experience or education makes you an expert on very involved with their subjects and make the mistake of using
this subject? too many emotional or ethcal appeals. As a result, their writing
If your expertise comes from reading, you must consider the sounds more Iike political speechmaking than academic argu-
source of your information. Who can be considered an authority ments. Be especially cautious about using rhetorical questions in
on a given issue? A legitimate authority has education, training, argumentation. This is the type of question to which the person
or experience in the subject. Also, a legitimate authority's point aslung believes there is only one reasonable answer; politicians
of view is objective, not biased by self-interest. For example, if a regularly w e such questions in speeches.
fast-food restaurant claims to senre the best hamburgers in
town, self-interest in promoting its hamburgers makes this Is this the h n d of attitude we want to develop in our chil-
claim biased and not objective. Therefore, the restaurant is not a dren?
good source of information. Finally, a legitimate authority must What kind of a society i s this that allows . . .?
be reliable, not known to distort the truth.
Will we never understand that . . . ?
EXERCISE 2 CONCROVERSLAL ISSUES These kinds of questions can be very effective because they ap-
What kind of person would you consider an authofity on the peal to emotions and ethics. Before you ask such a question,
following subjects? however, you must be very sure that your audience already
agrees with you about the answer. In general, these questions
1. animal rights are more appropriate in impassioned speeches than in academic
essays. Concentrate on keeping your tone objective.
2. sustaining life
As you read earlier, some of your professors may be more inter- Be careful not to oversimplify your own position or the opposing
ested in how you develop your argument than in what position position.
you take,but both are important. In order to construct a strong
and logical argument, avoid these common flaws. OversimpEification:The reason so many people receive welfare
is that they would rather not have to work for a living.
Exaggeration and unsubstantiated generalizations
Oversimplification of your argument or of the opposing argu- There are many reasons why people need public assistance. A
ment statement such as this reveals ignorance of the subject and
Logical flaws makes the writer seem incapable of dealing with Eomplex causes
Appeals to inappropriate authorities
and results.
Emotionally charged words F d s e Dilemma. A false dilemma is a form of oversimplifi-
Out-of-date facts cation. The writer seems to claim that there are only a limited
number of ways of looking at a situation.
i 2,
Exaggeration and 'Unsubstantiated Generalizations The United States will have to choose between increased mili-
tary spending or the very real possibility of foreign invasion.
The ability to generalize from facts or examples i s important in
academic writing and particularly important in argumentation.
With this kind of reasoning, the writer seems to be trying to
If you use a generalization to support a position or an opinion, it
trick the reader into believing that these two possibilities are
must be a valid generalization, not a sweeping, unsubstantiated
the only anes that exist. An intelligent discussion would attempt
generalization. In other words, you must be careful not to exag-
gerate the meaning of a fact or an example. For example, if you
to explore other options. W l e predicting the consequences of an
action is a good technique for supporting your position, do not
observe middle-class North American families and compare
exaggerate the consequences.
them with middle-class families in Latin America, you may come
to the conclusion that Latin Americans spend more time with
members of their extended families than North Americans do.
Fabe Analogy. In a false analogy, the writer compares two
situations and insists that they are alike or that what happened
This is probably a valid generalization; it can be directly sup-
in one case will happen in the other.
ported with statistics showing the amounts af time each group
spends. If you use that information to generalize that North
American family members do not love one another, you are mak- Being a surrogate mother is like being a prostitute; you let an-
ing a sweeping, unsubstantiated generalization or jumping to an other person use your body for money.
unwarranted conclusion. These kinds of generalizations weaken
your argument. You can correct the problem by substantiating or When you use an analogy, be careful that the two cases
by limiting or qualifying the generalization. realIy are similar. In fact, analogies do not prove anything;
rather they are mainly usefuI in helping the reader to under-
Sweeping generalization: International students study all stand your explanation or position.
the time; Americans go out and have fun.
Substantiation: Of the students at the library on Saturday
night, 60 percent are international students even though they
make up only 1 percent of the student population.
Logical FallacylFlaw:Arguing in a Circle
Qualificationllimitatio~ Many international students
study very hard. International students seem to study harder Be careful not to use what you are trying to prove as your evi-
than Americans do. dence.
Women say they want economic equality, but they still want men W h e n you refer to an authority, make sure that it is a legitimate
to carry packages for them and give up their seats to let a authority (see page 256). Also, determine whether your audience
woman sit down. This shows that women do not really want is likely to accept the authority you mention. A valid academic
equality with men. They want the benefits of equality but not argument about the secular world would not use the Bible, for
the disadvantages. example, or the Qur'an as an authority. Celebrities are also not
good authorities unless they are k n o w n to be knowledgeable or
In this case, the writer is discussing economic equality. Canying experienced in the area you are discussing.
packages and giving up seats are social issues and have nothing
to do with economic equality. Therefore, it is illogical to use
these examples to argue about economic equality. Bandwagon
Occasionally, writers urge readers to believe something or do
Logical FdacylFlaw: Non sequitur something because others believe it or do it. The simple fact that
others do something is not sufficient support for an argument,
A non sequitur is a conclusion that does net 1ogicalIy follow the although this approach is kidely used in advertising.
evidence.
Drink New York Seltzer. Everyone else does.
International students criticize United States foreign policy and
the ignorance of the American public about world issues. It is ob-
vious from their behavior that these students are not grateful Charged Words
for the education they are receiving here.
Certain words produce irrational emotional reactions in readers,
There is no logical connection between these two sentences. and in an academic argument you do not want to arouse emo-
Opinions that international students m a y have about the United tional reactions but to appeal to logic. Therefore, avoid depend-
States or about Americans have nothng to do with their grati- ing on positively or negatively charged words to %upportor make
tude one way or the other. your argument for you. Here are some typical examples of words
that are charged for many people in t h s country.
LogieaI FallacyJFIaw:After, therefore, because
Positively charged words Negatively charged words
Be careful not to say that one event caused another merely be- motherly love communism
cause it happened before the other. patriotic drugs
ORGANIZING YOUR ARGUMENT: -and then to rebut (argue against)a more important comterar-
INDUCTnsEIDEDiTCTTW gument by showing that it is weak, superficial, incomplete, or
unproven.
Continuation of You can arrange your argument in several ways. One way is to b p your tone controlled and reasonable. %y to sound as
Writing state your opinion and then explain your defense of that point of though you have carefully considered all sides and have formed
Assignment 14.2
view step by step. That is a deductive approach. You might also an opinion on the issue but are open to change if the other side
use an inductive arrangement, in which you review the reasons can produce better arguments.
step by step that lead to a conclusion. You present the conclusion Finally, make copies of the pages of any publicationa you use
after giving the reasons that led you to it. to support your position. Underline the sections of those pages
that you quoted or paraphrased.
General organization of a deductive argument: When you have finished a draft of your paper, answer these
Ifeel this because ofthis, this, this. questions.
Revision PART 3
Use the feedback you g e t from your classmates to revise your pa- APPLYING WRITING PROCESSES FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES:
per. + ANALYZING, EVALUATING, ARGUING
Sequenced Writing Perhaps as you were gathering and analyzing material for your
pro~ect Sequenced Writing Project, you developed strong opinions about Unit 5 Academic Writing Tasks
the topic. If you choose to, you can use the material you gathered Chapter 12 Analyzing Issues
to make an academic argument. Follow the same instructions as Chapter 13 Responding to Written Arguments
me Strat1~ g i e s
iring for ;an Essay Exam
,
. . - . . - -
Zhapter 16 Practicing Taking Essay Exams
Preparing for an
Essay Exam
* tions are less important in essay exams and in fact may not be
present at all. On the other hand, you rarely have enough time
on an essay exam to re,,, what you write. Furthermore, be-
cause you will not be writing a first draft and a revision, you
cannot use your first drafl as a discovery draft. En an exam situ-
ation, you need to know the material quite well before you write.
Finally, because of the lack of time to rewrite, planning and
preparing quickly what you want to incIude in your answer be-
Writing an essay for an exam is a little different from writing a come more important than usual. This chapter will help you de-
regular essay, composition, or article. You can probably guess velop strategies for taking essay exams.
most o f those differences yourself.
EXERCISE 1: EXAMS
EXAMINING T I E EXAM QUESTIONS
Audience
When you receive an exam, first look it over to determine
1. Who i s your audience for an essay exam? whether you are being asked to write an essay or simply a short
answer of a sentence or two. A short-answer exam usually tests
knowledge of facts. An essay exam tests your ability to relate
2. What does this audience already know about the subject of facts or show the significance of facts. In an essay exam, you are
your essay? expected to select and organize information. The wording of the
exam will indicate if you need to answer in a few sentences or in
an essay.
3, Why is this reader reading this essay?
Is the question complicated? If so, you are probably expected
to write an essay to answer the question.
Is the answer complicated? If so, you probably need to write
Purpose a long answer.
Does the question suggest a brief or a long response? If the
1. W h y are you writing about this subject? question says discuss, explain, define, you probably will be
writing an essay. If the question says list or briefly iden-
tify, you probably need to write only a sentence or two.
2. What are you trying to show or prove?
How much time have you been given? If you have 50 min-
utes to answer two questions, you are probably expected
3. What do you want the reader to know after reading your to write essay answers. If you have 50 minutes to answer
25 questions, you obviously cannot write much on each
essay exam answer? one.
w
If you cannot decide how detailed your answer is supposed to be,
In some ways, writing an essay exam is easier than writing ask your professor. An answer that is adequate for a short-
a regular essay because you do not have to decide on your audi- answer test is not adequate for an essay exam.
ence or purpose. The professor already knows the answer to the For an essay exam, the first step is to be sure that you un-
derstand exactly what the question is aslung by loolung at the What is meant by . . .
way your professor has worded the question. The question will How does . . . define . . .
tell you what the professor expects and may suggest how to
arrange your materid. Look for words like discuss, explain, and (Here you are being asked t o give a definition.)
any of the following:
How does . . . work
Give examples to show that ... Explain the process by which .
Illustrate . . . Trace the development of . . .
(Here the professor wants you to prove or support a point by giv- (Here you are to describe a process step by step or explain how
ing examples of specific instances in which a generalization something functions or develops chronologically.) :
proves to be true.) Sometimes students do not do well on essay e x a m because
they misread the question. If the question asks for a definition of
Compare . . . to . . . management in business and you write about the effects of good
management on profits, you will not get credit even though you
Contrast . . . with . . .
may have known the answer.
What are the major differences between . . . and ..
Discuss the advantages of . . . over . . . EXERCISE 2: EXAMS
Look at the following sample exam questions and circle the key
(Here you are being asked to show how two or more concepts, ob- words, the ones that indicate what type of answer the professor
jects, events, or procedures are alike or different.) is asking for. How would you go about answering each question?
What a d w e r e the causes of ... 1. We have discussed several types of astronomical phenom-
What ardwere the resuIts/effects of . . . ena this term. Write a short essay in which you describe
Why...
the distinguishing characteristics of a supernova.
What factors contributed to . . .
What is the effect of . . . 2, Discuss the formation of had.
What has been the result of . . . 3. The five major world religions have many features in
Discuss the reasons for . . . common but also differ from one another in significant
ways. What basic differences distinguish Islam from
(These questions are asking about the relationship between
events or situations, either what led to the event or situation or Christianity?
what resulted from the event or situation.) 4, What is meant by constitutional monarchy? In your an-
what typea ofkinds of ... swer, give examples in the world today and discuss how
Classify . . . each example matches or varies from the classical defini-
Discuss the most impodant features of ... tion of constitutional monarchy.
5. Classify the forms of nonverbal comrn~lnicationused by
(This kind of question is asking you to conaider a number of
items and to arrange them in categories or to analyze what human beings.
something is made up of.) 6. Current popular music has its roots in a number of musi-
Define . . . cal forms. Illustrate the influence of soul and blues music
What does . . . mean on current popular music.
EXERCISE 4: EXAMS
Row would you begin the first sentence of an essay to answer
each question on page 269-270?
Practicing Taking
Essay Exams
As you write, check the wording of the question several In this chapter, you will practice writing essay answers to the
times to make sure that you have not accidentally drifted away different types of questions. Note that some questions will re-
from the subject. quire you to use a combination of strategies to answer the ques-
When you are writing an essay exam, look carefully a t the tion completely. To imitate the exam situation, your answers
prompt, or the question you are to answer, to see if your profes- should be written in class with a fixed time limit.
sor is calling for specific examples or instances of general ideas.
In an essay, these specifics allow the professor b see that you
have not simply memorized some general ideas on a subject.
Instead, you have comprehended the general idea fully enough ORGANIZING AN ESSAY EXAM D S I O N
so that you can apply it and show how the idea works in a par- AN;D CLASSIFICATION
ticular instance. In most situations in which you are writing an
essay exam at all, less value is placed on the ability to memorize Classifying items into categories is a way h u n a n beings deal
material than on the ability to apply and/or evaluate that mate- with the profusion of separate items surrounding us; it is a way
rial. Thus, read the prompt carefully; if it calls for examples, be of organizing and making sense of the worId. We try to organize
sure to include them. the world by dividing the huge whole into parts and!or classify-
Most essay exams are written under the pressure of a time ing the many parts into types. Then we c a n look a t each division
limit, and such a limit sometimes makes students nervous. If or classification in a more organized way, one at a time. To help
you feel nervous about an exam, read through the entire exam you think in terms of divisions or classifications, consider writ-
before you begin to write and answer the question you fee1 most ing on one or more of these suggestions.
secure about first. Starting from strength may help you to calm
down by the time you get to the next question. Write as much in-
formation as you can, but be sure to pace yourself. That is, keep
an eye on the clock so that you do not spend too much time on
Journal Suggestions
any one question. What types of problems is your country facing right now?
Finally, although most teachers understand that time pres- Social, political, economic? Can any of these categories of
sure may cause you to make errors you wodd be able to catch if problems be subdivided? mnhich are the most difficult to
you had more time,try to save a few minutes at the end of the solve? Why?
exam to read over what you have written. If you have the oppor-
In your field of study, how is knowledge divided? That ig,
tunity to read your answer several times, read first for your
ideas and then for grammatical and mechanical correctness. what types of experts are there in your field? (For example,
Furthermore, although you will be trying to write fast, be care- among engineers, there are mechanical engineers, civil engi-
fulnot to write so quickly that your writing becomes illegible. neers, nuclear engineers, and so on.) What are the charac-
teristics of each division or type?
Your professor may not be able to understand what you have
written and may even become irritated at having to struggle to
figure out your words.
Which position would you rather have? Can you see certain 2. According to the selection, the fact that girls are physi-
personality similarities among all the oldest chldren you cally more developed than boys when they start school
know? The youngest? Only chldren? How are the children in gives girls an advantage in the early grades. Explain both
these categories similar? W h y do you think they have devel- the immediate and long-term effects of that initial advan-
oped the particular traits you identified? tage.
Should children receive a well-rounded education, studying
even things they don't want to study? Has this ever hap- Choose one of these questions to answer in a short essay.
pened to you? Were you later grateful for that education, or First do some invention writing to get your ideas down on paper.
was it wasted on you? Should children be allowed to study
On another sheet of paper, answer the question as though it
what they want, going with their inclinations and talents, o r were part of an essay exam. Do not look back to the selection.
even against their talents? Few reasonable people would ar- Write your essay in class in 20 minutes. Be sure to leave time to
gue for either extreme, but where should we draw the line reread and edit your answer.
and why? What are the effects of allowing children to choose When you have finished, analyze your answer.
what they want to study? What are the effects of forcing
children to study sometlung they are not interested in?
Self-Analysis
When discussing cause and effect, be sure to think in terms of 1. Did you have enough time to include all the ideas you in-
both immediate and long-term causes and effects. Also keep in tended t o include?
mind that the fact that one event occurs before another does not 2. Did you have any time left to edit?
necessarily mean that the first event caused the second. Finally, 3. How many causes or effects does your paper discuss?
in an essay exam you will probably have to do more than simply 4. Do any sections seem too short to you? If so, what hd you
list causes and effects. Try to make the logical connection be- leave out?
tween a cause and an effect explicit. That is, explain why or how
a given cause produces a particular effect. Now ask a classmate to analyze your answer.
1. Some men seem unwilling to do what they consider Now look back at the selection. Are there any important points
women's work. Explain possible reasons for this unwill- you forgot to mention? Decide where you would put them, and
ingness. mark your paper with asterisks a t those points.
Self-Analysis
Journal Suggestions
1. Did you have enough time to include all the ideas you in-
tended to include? What changes have occurred in your country in your life-
2. Did you have any time left t o edit? time? Compare what Eife was like before with what life is
3. Did you begin your definition by placing what you were like now.
going to define in a category? What changes have occurred recently in your field of study?
4. Did you use any negative definitions? Have there been major breakthroughs in the past several
5 , Do any sections seem too short to you? If so, what did you years? What differences are there between the way experts
leave out? regard your field now and the way they did in the past?
Can you think of two or more political points of view, or po-
Now ask a classmate to analyze your answer. litical parties, that are important in your country at the mo-
ment? What are the Merences between these points of
view?
Peer Response Ttunk of an ethnic, religious, or political minority in your
country. Compare that p u p with the dominant culture
1. Did your classmate" definition place the term in a cate- from as many points of view as you can.
gory and show what distinguished this item from others
in the same category? If not, what is missing?
2. Compare the statement of the main idea in the answer There are two traditional ways to present comparisons. You can
with the wor&ng of the question. Is it clear from the discuss item A in the first part of your paper, use a transition to
statement of the main idea that the essay will address move to the next section, and then discuss item B in the second
the question directly? half of the paper. Or you can alternate between item A and item
3. Are there any grammatical or mechanical errors? B, discussing the first feature of A then the first feature of B,
Main Idea, Item A l . Item A2. Item A3. Item A4. Transition. Item
El. Item B2. Item B3. Item B4. Conclusion. Self-Analysis
Or: I. Did you have enough time to include all the ideas you in-
tended to include?
Main Idea. Item A l . Item 31.Item A2. Item B2. Item A3. Item 2. Did you have m y time leR to edit?
B3. Item A4. Item B4. Conclusion.
3. Which pattern of organization did you use?
Thinking in terms of these patterns when you are writing an
answer of comparison will help you to remember points you Now ask a classmate to analyze your answer.
might otherwise have forgotten. In other words, you may re-
member to make point 3 about item A but forget to mention that
point about item B. This framework will help you remember. You
Peer Response
may decide that point 3 about item B is insignificant and does
1. Did your classmate include all the important points to be
not need to be mentioned. But at least you will not have failed to
mention it just because you forgot. compared? If not, what is missing?
2. Is there a clear statement of the main idea at the begin-
Revision
Now look back a t the selection. Are there any important points
you forgot t a mention? Decide where you would put them, and
Now look at the following question. Did you ask h s one? mark your paper with asterisks at those points.
Revise your answer, including any additional points a t the
1. According to the selection, mothers treat their boy and asterisks and correcting any e m r s your classmates noticed. 4
girl babies differently. Explain what the differences are
and compare the results of these different ways of treat-
ing young children.
Before you read, consider these questions: It began with Christopher Columbus, who gave the people the
name Indios. Those Europeans, the white men, spoke in differ-
1. What images of American Indians or Native Americans do ent dialects, and some pronounced the word Indien, or lndianes,
you have now or did you have as a child? or Indian. Peaux-rouges, or redshns, came later. As was the cus-
2. What images do you associate with Native Americans? Bows tom o f the people when receiving strangers, the Tainos on the is-
and arrows? Buffalo? Where did you learn about Native land of San Salvador generously presented CoIumbua and his
Americans? men with gifts and treated them with honor. '
3. What do you know about the history of the arrival of "So tractable, so peaceable, are these people," Columbus
Europeans on the American continent? wrote to the King and Queen of Spain, "that I swear to your
The following text is the beginning of the first chapter of a book Majesties there is not in the world a better nation. They love
called Bury My Heart a t Wounded Knee. Wounded Knee is the their neighbors as themselves, and their discourse i s ever sweet
site of a massacre of I50 to 350 American Indian men, women, and gentle, and accompanied with a smile; and though it is.true
and children by American soldiers in 1890. This book presents that they are naked, yet their manners are decorous and praise-
the history of the American continent from the point of view o f worthyVn
the millions of people already living here before the Europeans All this, of course, was taken as a sign of weakness, if not
arrived. It is a bloody and horrifying history, one that is not heathenism, and Columbus being a righteous European was con-
usually taught in schools. Instead, most children learn about vinced the people should be "made to work, sow and da all that
the bravery of the Europeans who Left their homes i n Europe to is necessary and to adopt our ways." Over the next four cen-
take over this new land. In fact, because they didn't know how to turies I1492 -1890)several million Europeans and their descen-
survive in this new land, many of these European invaders dants undertook to enforce their ways upon the people of the
would have died without the help they receiued from the native New World.
peoples, who took pity on them. But in many instances, once Columbus kidnapped ten of his friendly Taino hosts and car-
the Europeans had established themselves, they often repaid ried them off to Spain, where they could be introduced to the
the kindness of the native peoples with horrors: The native white man's ways. One of them died soon after arriving there,
people were lied to, tricked, made into slaves, and forced to but not before he was baptized a Christian. The Spaniards were
accept and adopt the white man's way of Life. If they did not ac- so pleased that they had made it possible for the first Indian to
cept the white man's ways, or i f they resisted, they were &- enter heaven that they hastened to spread the good news
strayed. The Europeans called them savages and blamed the throughout the West Indies.
Indians themselves for the white man's massacre of the men, The Tainos and other Arawak people did not resist conver-
women, and children of these Indian tribes. It is a history to be sion to the Europeans' religion, but they did resist strongly when
ashamed of. hordes of these bearded strangers began scouring their islands
in search of gold and precious stones. The Spaniards looted and
Where today are the Pequot? Where are the Narragansett, the burned villages; they kidnapped hundreds of men, women, and
Mohican, the Pokanoket, and many other once powerful chlldren and shipped them to Europe to be sold as slaves.
tribes of our people? They have uanished before the avarice Arawak resistance brought on the use of guns and sabers, and
and the oppression of the White M a n , as snow before a whole tribes were destroyed, hundreds of thousands of people in
summer sun. less than a decade after Columbus set foot on the beach of San
Will we let ourselves be destroyed in our turn without a Salvador, October 12, 1492.
struggle, give up our homes, our country bequeathed to us by Communications between the tribes of the New World were
the Great Spirit, the graves of our dead and everything that slow, and news of the Europeans' barbarities rarely overtook the
15 years after 1492. The entire population of nine million was Do Not Disturb
virtually wiped out within 40 years.
.*..a.m. ..a. '.. Before you read, consider the following questions:
Contrary to grade-school mythology, Columbus did not un-
dertake his voyages out of curiosity or to prove the world was 1. Do you know any traditional beliefs about how the earth was
round; rather, he had promised his investors huge returns on formed or how different races of human beings came about?
their capital, and had to find gold, spices, or slaves to make good. Exchange your information with your classmates.
On Hispaniola, each Indian over 14 was obliged to bring in a cer- 2. What do you know about the aboriBnes in Australia? Share
tain quota of gold every three months. Indians failing to meet your information with your classmates.
their quotas were punished by having both hands cut off, and
usually then bled to death. Since there was very little gold on the This reading describes the confZict surrounding the Australian
island, most either fled or were killed. When the spices looked government's plan to build a pipeline under a stream the aborig-
unpromising and the gold didn't materialize fast enough, ines of Australia consider sacred.
Columbus shipped the Arawaks themselves to Spain to be sold in Bob Bropho returned to Bennett Brook Iast week, to the banks of
the slave markets of Seville, thus inaugurating an Atlantic slave the shallow stream that winds through the suburb of Lockridge
trade that became one of the worst crimes in human history. . . . on the northeastern side of Perth, capital of the state of Western
Columbus himself returned te Europe in disgrace, and ap- Australia. With his grandchildren beside him, he stood in silence
pears to have died without understanding that he had not for several minutes. To Bropho and many of Australia'~170,000
landed in the Orient. But . . . [the] winners get to write the other aborigines, Bennett Brook is the sacred resting place of
histories, and a gala Columbus anniversary extravaganza repre- Wagyl, the mythical rainbow snake with multiple legs and a
sents a serious perversion of what really happened. horse's mane. Wagyl plays an imporhnt role in that part of abo-
Charles Sugnet riginal folklore known as dreamtime, the period of creation. In
Joanna O'Caranell the days when the world was still unformed, legend has it, the
p a n t serpent slithered across the coastal plains of Western
1. According to this article, why was Columbus traveling around Australia, carving out its hills and valleys.
the world? According to aboriginal,belief, Wagyl lies asleep, its memory
2. What is meant by the statement "the winners get to write the revered and its presence deeply respected, beneath Bennett
histories"? Brook. Now the great snake's slumber is threatened by a
3. What do you think the authors of this article were trying to pipeline bringing natural gas to Perth and the populous south-
show by mentioning that Columbus "appears to have died west corner of the state from the underwater reservoirs of the
without understanhng that he had not landed in the Orient"? Indian Ocean, 1,000 miles to the north. The plans call for one
segment of the line, a twelve-mile spur to a gas plant in East
Perth, to be buried in the ground under Bennett Brook. Many
aborigines are outraged. Says Bropho: "Imagine the hurt we felt
Journal Suggestions when they said they were going to dig a big hole and open our
mother's guts and put a gas pipe in there."
Think of any instance you can of the winners writing the The aborigines warn that if Wagyl is disturbed, the river
history. What would the same history look like if the losers system will dry up, the water will turn bad, and there will be
wrote the history? sickness and death among their people. They want the pipeline
m n k of the last time you had a disagreement with sorne- to be built over the brook. The State Energy Commission argues
one. Try to write out the position of the other person as you that burying the pipeline is the safest option; besides, another
think they would describe it. In other words, try t o put your- gas line already runs under Bennett Brook, along with a water
self in the other person's shoes. Do you feel more sympa- main and telephone lines. Responds Bropho: "In those days, abo-
thetic now to their position than you did before? riginal people were left in the dark. They were powerless. But
now we have learned what to do to make the white man listen."
Indeed they have. The aborigines won an injunction in the Sacred Places
state supreme court last November to prevent further work on
the pipeline until the matter is settled. As a result, the uncom- Five Hundred Years after Columbus More Than Sixty Native American
pleted spur now stops on one side of Bennett Brook and resumes Spiritual Sites across the Country Face Their Greatest Thread Ever
on the other bank. The injunction was continued last week. Said
Justice Barry Rowland: "I cannot leave this matter without ex- Before you read, consider the folIowing questions:
pressing the hope that it is not beyond the wit or resolve of all
1. Do you know of any situation in which one group" spiritual
parties to get together quickly to see if they can accommodate
needs conff ict with another group's desires? Describe the situ-
the aspirations of all."
ation.
While the commission and state government pondered their
2. Why do you think most religions have sacred places? Do you
next move, the aborigines declared that they had no intention of
have places in your culture that are considered sacred or
giving in. Said Bropho: "It's no good white society saying Wagyl
holy?
is dead. People could say that about Jesus Christ. We are not
deaIing with beliefs of 200 years or 2,000 years ago. We are deal- Nearly all human groups consider certain places special, even sa-
ing with beliefs from the beginning of time." cred. For many Native Americans, the land where they haue
lived, where their ancestors are buried, and where they continue
to honor nature is sacred. But these same places are now U.S.
territory, and most white peopk in the United States do not con-
I. What are the issues involved in this case? How does each side sider these places sacred. Instead they may, for example, see this
defend its position?
land as rich in mineral wealth and want to dig up the land to
2. How valid are the arguments of each side?
reach this wealth. In many places in the country Native
3. At what point does the advance of "progress" or moderniza-
Americans are fighting legal battles to prevent the destruction of
tion have to stop, if ever, when it conflicts with what humans
places that they consider holy. This article describes some of this
hold sacred?
battle.
4. Which side should win this case? Can you think of any way to
resolve the problem? The canyon wakes a t twilight. As the rocks lose their heat, the
5. Do you know of any other case where traditional beliefs and wind kicks up in all directions, and, for a moment, its fitful
modernization clashed head on? Which side won? What was whistling sounds like chanting voices. But the power of sugges-
the result? tion is strong in t h s deep tributary of the Grand Canyon, where
the Havasupai Indians have been living for more generations
than anyone can count. It only takes a few days down here to
start seeing spirits in the shadows, and ghosts in the rocks, . . .
Journal Suggestions
- Axe there any remnants in your culture of strong traditional
beliefs like those of the aborigines? Describe them.
Rex Wousi, one of the Havasupai's most venerated spiritual el-
ders, [has just made] a long trip home from the U.S. Court of
Appeals in San Francisco, He has spent the week arguing, as he
has For years, that the government's plan to allow a uranium
In your culture, are there any creatures like Wagyl that peo- mine at a sacred site north of the Havasupai's holy Red Butte
ple believe in or used to believe in? Describe what the crea- would wreak an irrevocable spiritual and physical catastrophe
ture looks like and what it does. What significance does the upon his people.
creature have in traditional beliefs? .-am... *.a .am.
mobile-based societies is proving to be an awesome task. The Japanese Funeral Ceremony and the Spiritual World
Developing countries can learn from the West" mistakes.
after Death
Mary Morse
Before you read, consider the following questions:
1. What are some of the problems this article says are created
by the use of cars as the primary means of transportation? I. What are the most important occasions when people get to-
2. Despite all the problems caused by cars, why do the "tiny but gether in your culture? Weddings? Births? Young people's
affluent elite" groups mentioned in this article insist on con- corning-of-age parties?
tinuing to drive cars? 2. What are some of the special things that people in your cul-
3. What are some of the advantages of using bikes mentioned in ture do on these occasions?
the article? Are there other advantages not mentioned?
In this article the student author describes what funeral cere-
4. What reasons do people described in this adicle give for re-
monies are like in Japan.
sisting the use of bikes? Can you think of other disadvantages
of using bikes? The Japanese funeral ceremony seems to be very different from
the western funeral ceremony. It is rather complicated but is re-
ally interesting because the Japanese way of thinking after
death can be observed through this funeral custom, which is
Journal Suggestions based on Buddhism. The spirit of the dead person is supposed to
stay in his house with his family for forty-nine days aRer he
Do you own and ride a bike either in your home country or
dies, so his family have several ceremonies to comfort his spirit
where you are now studying? Are you pleased with this situ-
during this period. Among those ceremonies, especially three
ation? Why or why not?
seem to be regarded as the most important ones. They are ( I )
What is your reaction to an article written in the United "Otsuya," which is held on the first evening after his death or on
States that promotes the use of bicycles in other parts of the the next evening after his dying; (2) "Osoushiki," held the day af-
world but does not mention the advantages of using bikes in ter Otsuya; 13) "Shijukunichi-no-Houpu," held on the forty-
the United States? ninth day after his death. This essay will focus on the concept of
What is your reaction to the idea that the rest of the world the world of death in Japan.
can or should learn from the mistakes of the West? Do you Otsuya is held to say "Good-bye" te the deceased from the
agree or do you feel that people learn best from their own early evening through the late time of the night. The word
mistakes? "Otsuya" is explained as Through the night" in kanji, our
Nearly all of us have had bad experiences with one type of Chinese characters. His family immediately prepares a specially
transportation or another. What is the worst means of travel decorative altar for him, and his coffin is put on the shelf in the
you have ever experienced? Describe other funny or bad middle of the altar. The family ornaments it with several flower
transportation experiences. What can be done to make trav- baskets and some fruit [email protected] addition, they never forget to
eling easier on people? put his picture on the altar. He is smiling in it to visitors. His
Does the use of cars cause particular problems in your coun- body is also surrounded by many chrysanthemums in the coffin.
try? What are they? How can governments encourage the Thus,he is beautifully ornamented before he leaves for Heaven.
use of bikes among people who do not want to give up cars? Many people come on this night. The relatives, his friends,
his co-workers, neighbors and friends of his family members
visit for Otsuya. On this night his soul is supposed to remain in
his dead body, so all the visitors say good-bye to him in their
minds while looking a t his picture on the altar. Every visitor
steps up to the altar one by one, burns incense, and makes a bow
in Front of it. (At this time they tell him the last good-bye.) This
ritual is exactly the same one we use when we pray to Buddha
in a temple. The dead person is supposed to become one of the "Shijukunichi-no-Houyou,"and this word means "The ritual on
Buddhas, not a real Buddha but a sort of Buddha at the moment the forty-ninth day" in Japanese.
of his death. This thought comes from the doctrine of Buddhism, The concept after his leaving for Heaven from this world is
which says all people can be absolved of all sins after death. interesting. His spirit flies into the sky and arrives a t the river-
There is one more important event in this ceremony, Otsuya. side where this physical world is separated from the dead spiri-
A Buddhlst priest chants sutra for the peace of his spirit in Front tual world. When he reaches this shore, he can find a boat which
-
of his altar and hves him a new name which he should be called will carry him to the other side of the river in which there i s a
world of dead people. Once he crosses this river, he can't come
by in Heaven. This new name is given as a result of considering
his character and his achievement in his work; therefore, it is back to this side again. He must become a dweller of the death
very meaningful. At the same time he gets a new birthday. From world and will wait for the day o f rebirth in this world.
that time the day of his death called "Mehichi" is regarded as Thus, the series of funeral services is carried;out through a
his birthday and is commemorated as such each year. "Meinichi* long period. His family can be gradually set free from anguish
means "The Day of Life" in kanji. after he dies through this long period, so Japanese funerals
On the next day of Otsuya, the family has a real funeral, seem to be held to comfort not only the spirit of the dead people
"Osoushilu." This time, usually only his family and the reIatives but also their families. His family keeps going to his grave on his
participate in it. Osoushiki is never held in the evening because Meinichi every year and constantly keeps having ceremonies on
it is supposed to be very bad to have an Osoushiki after it gets the particuIar years until fifiy years have passed. Japanese live
dark. Osoushiki seems to be more formal than Otsuya, even closely with the spirits of dead people like this. Some people say
though it is carried out by his family and the relatives. A11 the that they can feel that the spirits of their ancestors or spirih of
visitors who participate in it should be dressed in black formal their ex-family members always protect them. It's a really mys-
wear; women don't wear any accessory except pearls. Bright jew- terious world.
elry like diamonds and gold is completely avoided to express Masako Imlmmiyu [Japan)
their deep sorrow at Losing him. Everybody never laughs be-
cause laughing is regarded as impolite to him and is supposed ta 1. How are Japanese funeral ceremonies divided, accordrng to
be indiscreet in this sad situation. Otsura is a rather colorful this article?
and merry ceremony; on the contrary, Osoushiki is a serious and 2. Who is involved in the funeral ceremony in Japan besides the
grand ceremony. All the people seem to give reverence to his immediate family?
spirit. 3. What is the significance of the forty-nine-day period?
While a priest dressed in his most splendid clothes showing
his high position among Buddhsts is chanting a long sutra in
the main hall of the temple, everybody keeps silent and droops
h i h e r head deeply as if meditating. In the middle of the sutra, JournaE Suggestion
the priest asks them to pray to Buddha for his spirit. His family
and the reIatives step up to the small table set up at the back of In some cultures funerals are extremely solemn. In other
the priests; then they burn incense and pray with their palms countries, perhaps where people believe in an aRerEife, fu-
together.
- nerals include a great deal of eating and drinlung, almost
After this rather long ceremony finishes, some of them see like celebrations. How do people organize funerals in your
him off a t a crematory, and others wait for the coming back country?
home of his remains. At this time family members and the close
relatives go to a crematory with his body.
The family has ceremonies on every seventh day until the
forty-ninth day comes finally. On this day his spirit is supposed
ta leave for Heaven, departing from his family after staying with
his family for forty-eight days. The family has a big ceremony
like a Osoushiki again in a temple. This big ceremony is called
Taking the Bungee Plunge and commit to a long-term relationship tomorrow; dive out of a
plane now, realize your dream of becoming the next Ella
Are High-Bisk Sports an Iaexperwiwe Form of Therapy? Fitzgesald later-or so the logic goes. As Bensimhon points out,
experts who have studied risk taking say it deveIops character
Before you read, consider the following questions: and courage, extends creativity, and helps establish a sense of
possibility.
I. Are people in your country interested in sports? What is the There's no denying that success a t something new and chal-
most popular sport a t home? W h y do you think it is so popu- lenging is an invaluable experience. But what are you really suc-
lar? ceeding at when you parachute out of two-seater aircraft? With a
2. Have you ever done something for fun that you h e w would bit of luck, you touch ground intact and sigh blissfully. Perhaps
be dangerous? W h y did you do it? Descrihe the experience. you become a conversation piece among friends fck a nanosecond
3. Have you ever watched a dangerous sport? Why do people or two. But ultimately the only thing you've truly accomplished
like dangerous sports? is not dying. Bruce Ogilvie, a pioneer in the field of sports psy-
The title of this article refers to a fad called hungee jumping. chology, believes that, for suicide-sport fanatics, "the immediate
Belieue it or not, in this activity, a person is attached to an elastic high is enough in and of itself. Risk taking isn't likely t o transfer
c o r d and jumps off a high place head first. Although the person into other areas of life." To suggest that a confirmed bachelor
falls freely for some time, the elastic cord is designed to prevent will bungee jump his way into love, marriage, and 2.5 children
the person from hitting the graund and being killed The article "is at best a tenuous leap," he argues.
here discusses the reasons people may have far engaging in such What the popularity of potentially fatal sports reveals is
a strange and potentially dangerous form of fun. that in an I-want-it-now microwave culture, quick exercises in
temerity become a stand-in for the time-consuming process of
. . . For many in the growing crowd attracted to bungee jump- mastering a skill. Many of the thrill sports merely require you to
ing, rock climbing, skydiving, and other high-risk weekend fun, say, "I want to take a chance. Where do I sign up?" We build sus-
these breathtaking activities have become a form of budget ther- tainable confidence not by taking life-threatening risks but by
apy. Life-imperiling sports that some would argue reflect a death gradually working at things we never thought we could achieve.
wish are for them a life-affirming challenge. "The best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind
Humans are inherently risk-taking creatures, contends Dan is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish
Bensimhon in Men's Health (April 1992). Most of our prehistoric something difficult and worthwhile," says University of Chicago
past was filled with danger and uncertainty. The people who sur- psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in the San
vived were those who thrived on risks. But today, adventure for Francisco monthly magazine The City (Oct. 1991).The sensation
the average person usually amounts to nothing more than deR of completing a bungee jump will probably come up short
negotiation of a jam-packed freeway. Thus, bungee jurnping- against the satisfaction gained from learning to speak a new
the non-ark of flinging yourself into mid-air with an ankle language afZer months of study and practice. Nor could it com-
strapped to elastic-can be an exhilarating thrill in an other- pare-especially for those who grew up believing that the con-
wise dreary nine-to-five existence. cept of hand-eye coordination was a vicious myth-to learning
But for many enthusiasts the expectations are more discon- how t o play tennis, row a boat, or knit a sweater. In the end, it's
certingly far reaching. "Bungee jumping may be seen as a hard to believe that risking death is a meaningful way ta em-
metaphor for life," claims enthusiast Cathy Hanesworth in an brace life.
interview in East Bay Express (Dec. 13, 1991)."If you can prove
to yourself that you can do something that is very scary, you can Ginia Bellafante
carry that confidence with you into any situation . . . because
you have pushed your physical and mental limits farther than 1. What reasons does the article give for people's interest in
your comfort zone." such dangerous sports as bungee jumping?
Some psychologists agree. Dangerous sport, they believe, 2. According to the article, why are these sports especially at-
boosts personal growth. Suspend yourself from a bridge today tractive in modern times?
Journal Suggestions
Sometimes common sense deceives us. What seems obvi-
ously to be true may not be true. An obvious example of this
is that the earth looks flat, but very few people believe this
now. Can you think of other examples where something that
looks true is not and where our common sense deceives us?
If you are interested in the study of t h e universe, what is the
most interesting aspect of this field for you? What is the
most interesting idea you have heard about the nature of
the universe? What do you know, far example, about black
- Optional Writing Assignment and which teachers will be hired? Are these national or local
decisions?
Savage Inequalities is a shocking account o f the differences be-
Rita Williams in the previous essay recounts her story of a terri-
tween rich and poor schools in this country. The author,
fying encounter with a gang. Stephen Jay Gould tries to argue
Jonathan KozoL, visited school districts around the country and
that although the effects of violence are far reaching, violence is
talked with administrators, teachers, students, and parents
rare among humans compared with the many acts of lundness
humans perform for one ano,ther. Choose one of the following about their schools. Because schools in this country receive their
money from local, not national, taxes, rich neighborhoods have
questions to write on.
much more money to spend on schools than poor neighborhoods
haue. Some people, particularly those whose schools have a great
1. Use Godd's ideas about violence and kindness to explain
the behavior of Williams, of the members of the gang, and deal o f money, haue argued that money is not really what makes
a school good or bad. Instead, they blame bad schools on the bad
of the policewoman whom Williams speaks to on the tele-
phone. Do you think Gould is right in the case of attitudes of students, who don't really want b Learn, and parent.s>
Williams's experiences? who don't really care about their children's education. Yet Kazol
provides a great deal of evidence that less money prevents school
2. Think about your own experiences with or information officials from buying books for the library, hiring more teachers
about violence. How does the discussion in either of these to reduce the number of children in each classroom, and hiring
two texts fit with your own experience and knowledge? more quaiifid, more dedicated teachers.
4.
In this excerpt, Kozol takes us into three schools: Goudy, a
poor elenaentary school in Chicago's inner city; New Pier, a rich
high school in the suburbs of Chtcago; and Du Sable, a poor high
school in the inner city of Chicago. His descriptions are based on
his visits to each of these schools and his discussions with the
people he found there.
Far from the worst school in Chicago, Goudy's building is
nonetheless depressing. There is no playground. There are no
swings.There is no jungle gym.
According to Bonita Brodt, a writer for the Chicngo Dibune
who spent several months at Gaudy during 1988, teachers use
materials in class long since thrown out in most suburban
schools. SIow readers in an eighth grade history class are taught
from 15-year-old textbooks in which Richard Nixon is still presi-
mayor of New York City. Listening to their guesses and observ- The focus in this book is on the inner-city schools; inevitably,
ing their confusion, I am thinking of the students a t New Trier therefore, I a m describing classso~rnsin which almost all the
High. These children live in truIy separate worlds. What do they children are black or Latino. But there are also poor and mainly
have in common? And yet the kids before me seem so innocent white suburban districts and, of course, some desperately poor
and spiritually clean and also-most of all-so vulnerable. It's and very isolated rural districts. Children in the rural districts
as if they have been stripped of all the armament-the words, of Kentucky, northern Maine, and Arkansas, for instance, face a
the reference points, the facts, the reasoning, the elemental number of the problems we have seen in East St. Louis and
weapons-that suburban children take for granted. Chicago, though the nature of the poverty in ruraI schools is of-
ten somewhat different. The most important difference in the
"It took an extraordinary combination of greed, racism, polit- urban systems, 1 believe, is that they are often just adjacent to
ical cowardice and public apathy," writes James D. Squires, the the nation's richest districts, and this ever-present contrast adds
former editor of the Chicago fiibutae, "to let the public schools in a heightened bitterness t o the experience of children. The ugli-
Chicago get so bad." Re speaks of the schools as a costly result of ness of racial segregation adds its special injuries as well. I t is
"the political orphaning of the urban poor . . . daytime ware- this kifling combination, I believe, that renders life within these
houses for inferior students . . . a bottomless pit," urban schools not merely grim but also desperate and often
The results of these conditions are observed in thousands of pathological.
low-income children in Chcago who are virtually disjoined from
the entire worldview, even from the basic reference points, of the Jonathan Kozol
American experience. A 16-year-old girl who has dropped out of
school discusses her economic prospects with a TV interviewer. I. What strikes you the most about each of these three schools:
"How much money would you like to make in a year?" asks Goudy, New Trier, and Du Sable?
the reporter. 2. What are the most striking differences to you between the
"About $2,000," she replies. rich school, on the one hand, and the two poor schools, on the
Nonverbal Communication ted by words. Apparently, we express our emotions and attitudes
more nonverbally than verbally.
Eefore you read, consider the following questions:
Cultural Differences i n Nolaverbal Communication.
I. What do you suppose nonoerba! communication means? Nonverbal communication expresses meaning or feeling without
2. Look at the subtitles in this selection. Now write down four words. IjniversaI emotions, such as happiness, fear, and sad-
questions you expect to find answered in this selection. ness, are expressed in a similar nonverbal way throughout the
3. Read the three short statements at the beginning of the read- world, There are, however, nonverbal differences across cultures
ing by the teacher, the college student, and the customer. that may be a source of confusion for foreigners. For exampIe,
What is each statement meant to show? feelings of friendship exist everywhere but their expression
varies. It may be acceptable in some countries for men to em-
This selection discusses how we human beings communicate a
brace each other and far women to hold hands; in other coun-
great deal of information to one another without using words and tries these displays of affection may be shocking.
sometimes without consciously realizing how we are comrnuni-
What is acceptable in one culture may be completely unac-
cating. For this communication, we use our faces, our bodies, and
ceptable in another. One culture may determine that snapping
our sense of personal space. In addition, the reading points out
fingers to call a waiter is appropriate; another may consider this
that these means of communication vary from one culture to an-
gesture rude. We are often not aware of how gestures, facial ex-
other, just as verbal languages vary.
pressions, eye contact, and the use of space affect communica-
Teacher: Sve been a teacher for ten years and I can always tion. En order to correctly interpret another culture's style of
tell when students don't know an answer in class discussion. communication, it is necessary to study the "silent language" of
They either look down at their notes, stare out the window, or fix that culture.
their shoelaces-but they never look me in the eye.
College Student: Mary says she likes me, but I don't know Gestures. Gestures refer to specific body movements that
how she really feels about me. We've gone out three times and carry meaning. Hands can form shapes that convey many mean-
she rarely laughs a t my jokes or smiles a t me. She always looks ings: "That" expensive," "Come here," "Go away," and "It's OK"
bored when I talk to her. can be expressed nonverbally using only hands. The gestures for
Customer: Jane was a t the store trying t o decide which tele- these phrases may differ among languages. As children we imi-
vision set to buy. A loud, overeager salesman approached her, tate and learn these nonverbal movements and often use them
waved his hands in her face, and nearly stood on her feet. She to accompany or replace words. When traveling to another coun-
became so uncomfortable that she left the shop. try, foreign visitors soon learn that not all gestures are univer-
sal. The "OK" gesture in the American culture is a symbol for
Language studies traditionally have emphasized verbal and money in Japan. The same gesture is obscene in some Latin
written language, but recently have begun to consider communi- American countries. (Thisi s why the editors of a Latin American
cation that takes place without words. In some types of cornmu- newspaper enjoyed publishing a picture of former President
nication people express more nonverbally than verbally. If you Nixon giving the OK symbol with both hands!)
ask an obviously depressed person, What's wrong?", and he an-
swers, "Nothing. I'm fine,"you probably won't believe him. When Fucial Expressions. Facial expressions carry meaning de-
an angry person says, "Let's forget this subject, I don't want to termined by contexts and relationships. For instance, the smile,
talk about it any more!" you know that he hasn't stopped com- which is typically an expression of pleasure, has many functions.
municating. His silence and withdrawal continue to convey emo- A man's smile at a policeman who is about to give him a ticket
tional meaning. does not carry the satme meaning as the smile he gives to a
One study done in the United States showed that in the young child. A smile may show affection, convey politeness, or
communication of attitudes, 93 percent of the message was disguise true feelings. Pain is conveyed by a grimace, which also
transmitted by the tone of the voice and by facial expressions, signifies disgust or disapproval. Surprise, shock, or disbelief can
whereas only 7 percent of the speaker's attitude was transmit- be shown by raising the eyebrows. A wink given to a friend may
interactions. The females show more interest in infants, try to any "normal" primate mother cares for her infant. What has
hold them, care for them, etc. From this sort of observation some never been suggested in this context is that the nurturing fe-
researchers have concluded that aggressiveness and nurturance male role is socially !earned, and that without this social learn-
are biologically-based characteristics of males and females re- ing it is perfeckly natural for the female primate to fail t o care
spectively, in all primates both human and nonhuman. This is for her infant. It is not natural (instinctive) for her, any more
an extremely poor use of the evidence; it is both anthropomor- than for a human female, to be nurturing unless she has been
phic and ethnocentric. The major factor which is being over- taught this behavior by her social group.
looked is that these primates under observation live in a social In sum, the observation of primate behavior in the wild
group. Animal behaviorists have been emphasizing for years the which has been done so far gives us no sort of argument for the
importance of the social group, and the extent to which most pri- "instinctive" or biological nature of observed differences in
mate behavior is learned. It is inexcusable to emphasize the im- male/female sex-role behavior.
portance of this learned behavior in all other contexts, and to ig- The second sort of "biological" evidence comes from experi-
nore it when considering sex-role behavior. Monkey and ape ments where the balance of sex hormones was tampered with. It
socialization must begin as early as it does in humans. Has any was observed, for instance, that when female monkeys were shot
observer of primate behavior in the wild investigated the follow- full of male hormones they became more aggressive. This has
ing questions: How soon does the mother recognize the sex of her been taken as evidence to "prove" that males are naturally (in-
newborn infant? How does she recognize it-by smell, by the stinctively) more aggressive and females more passive. All it ac-
sight of genital organs? Does she treat male and female infants tually proves is that females with an overabundance of male
differently once she has recognized their sex? How soon do other hormones act more aggressively. . . . We might hypothesize
members of the troop recognize the infant's sex? Do they react that the hormone balance affects smell, so that the injected fe-
differently to males and females? . . . males begin to smell more like males. If this is the case, then
Surely monkeys and apes can tell a male from a female at a their social p u p would treat them as males, and they would ac-
fairly early age. To the human observer the animals all look cordingly be differentially socialized. This has never been inves-
alike a t first, but familiarity soon brings recognition of each ani- tigated. When looked at closely this biological "proof" of sex dif-
mal as an individual, and as male or female. If a human is able ferences also withers away.
to make observations such as more aggressiveness in the males, It seems to me that all these rather desperate attempts to
more nurtusance in the females, we must assume that the pri- prove from biology that human maIes are naturally aggressive,
mates under observation can distinguish between the sexes a t while human females are naturally passive and nurturing, are
least as well! At some point the primate social group begins to ethnocentric strivings designed to find scientific support for a
train its members for their adult roles, including their sexual status quo which is now being threatened. It is obvious that if
roles. To my knowledge, no researcher has ever raised any of the any large number of females in our culture reject the submis-
above questions. They have simply observed maldfemale differ- sive, dependent, nurturing role they have traditionally played,
ences in behavior, in a sooctal group, and gone on to make com- massive social upheaval wiII follow. That i s beginning to happen
pletely unwarranted assumptions about biology. already, and many members of our culture (both male and fe-
There is evidence (fmm the Japanese studies) that the off- male) do not wish to face the implications or the consequences of
spring of less dominant animals are much less likely to grow up this sort of social change. So attempts are made to prove "scien-
to be dominant themselves. In other words, they begin to learn tifically" and dialogically" that females are naturally destined to
submisszueness a t an early age. If this is true, there is a very be passive and dependent. To approach any topic with such mas-
strong basis for inferring that they also learn their sex roles a t sive preconception and bias contradicts the ideals (though not al-
an early age. . . . It has often been observed that female pri- ways the practice) of scientific investigation. On a subject such
mates who did not receive the proper socialization, ar who are as maleJfemale differences, which is both scientifically and hu-
isolated from others of their kind, make very poor mothers. They manly important, every effort should be made to recognize and
tend to reject the infant, fail to care for it properly, sometimes eliminate our cultural biases from the research design and From
deliberately kill it when it does not simply die from neglect. This the interpretation of results.
has usually been taken as a sign of pathology, because of course Even if it could be demonstrated that there is a biological pre-
Journal Suggestions
What is your reaction to the information in this article? DO
you agree with the author that primate behavior must be
studied in its natural social context, or are you convinced by
the arguments that gender differences are innate in pri-
mates?
Do you feel that we can learn about human beings by ob-
serving animal behavior, or do you believe that humans are
different enough from animals that nothng really rneaning-
ful can be concluded about humans by observing animals?
Why do you feel this way?
* If you have ever spent time close to a n animal, such as a pet
dog or cat, have you ever noticed that the animal sometimes
Abraham Lincoln Indians, not in battle, but by stealth, when he was laboring to
open a farm in the forest. His ancestors, who were Quakers,
went to Virginia from Berks County, Pennsylvania. . . .
Before you read, consider the following questions: My father, at the death of hls father was but six years of age,
and he grew up literally without education. He removed from
1. Who was Abraham Lincoln? Think of everythng you know Kentucky to what is now Spencer County, Indiana, in my eighth
about him. Where did you get this information? year. We reached our new home about the time the state came
2. Lincoln was elected president of the United States in the into the Union. It was a wild region, with many bears and other
mid-nineteenth century. What kind of image do people who wild animaIs still in the woods. There I grew up. There were
run for president want to project of themselves to convince some schools, so called, but no qualification was ever required of
the public to vote for them? Do you think the desirable image a teacher beyond "readin', writin', and cipherin'" to the rule of
today is hfferent from the desirable image in the nineteenth three. If a straggler supposed to understand Latin happened to
century? sojourn in the neighborhood, he was looked upon as a wizard.
Abraham Lincoln (1809-651 was the U.S. president who signed There was absolutely nothing to excite ambition for education.
the Emancipation Proclamation, which led the way to the even- Of course, when I came of age I did not know much. Still, some-
tual abolition of slavery irn the United States. The Southern how, I could read, write, and cipher to the rule of three, but that
states so opposed Lincoln's election to ofice that they threatened was all. I have not been to school since, The little advance I now
to break off from the rest of the United States and become a sepa- have upon this store of education, I have picked up from time to
rate country. When Lincoln was elected, the Southern states did time under the pressure of necessity.
in fact secede, beginning the U.S.Civil War (1860-65). Lincoln I was raised to farm work, which I continued till I was
has Become legendary for his simplicity, integrity, and compas- twenty-two. At twenty-one I came to Illinois, Macon County.
sion, particularly since he held office during the bloody and Then I got to New Salem, at that time in Sangamon, now in
painful Ciuil War. Lincoln was eventual/y assassinated, shot to Menard County, where 1 remained a year as a sort of clerk in a
death as he sat watching a theater performance. store. Then came the Black Hawk War; and I was elected a cap-
The following short autobiographical sketch was wrktten just tain of volunteers, a success which gave me more pleasure than
before Lincoln was elected president, in 1859. In it, Lincoln talks any I have had since. I went the campaign, was elated, ran for
about his parents and grandparents and their simple back- the legislature the same year [1832),and was beaten-the only
ground. He descrtbes his own boyhood on the farm, his educa- time I ever have been beaten by the people. The next and three
tion, and the history of his political life from being a lawyer to succeeding biennial elections I was elected to the legislature. I
sunning for office to Josing interest i n politics. Then he mentions was not a candidate afterward. During this legislative period I
the Missouri Compromise r1820-211, which was the resolution of had studied law, and removed to Springfield to practice it. In
a conflict between Southern slaue states, which wanted Missouri 1846 I was once elected to the lower House of Congress,but was
to allow slavery,and Northern nonslave states, which wanted no not a candidate for reelection. From 1849 to 1854,both inclusive,
more new states to allow slavery. The publtc debate on this issue I practiced law more assiduously than ever before, always a
drew Lincoln back into political life and eventually to the presi- Whig in politics, and generally on the Whig electoral tickets,
dency. malung active canvasses. I was losing interest in politics when
the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again. What
I was born February 12, 1809, in Hardin County, Kentucky. My I have done since then is pretty well known.
parents were both born in Virginia, of undistinguished fami- If any personal description of me is thought desirable, it may
lies-second families, perhaps I should say. My mother, who be said I am, in height, six feet four inches, nearly; lean in flesh,
died in my tenth year, was of a family of the name of Hanks, weighing on an average one hundred and eighty pounds; dark
some of whom now reside in Adams, and others in Macon complexion, with coarse black hair and gray eyes. No other
County, Illinois. My paternal grandfather, Abraham Lincoln, em- marks or brands recollected.
igrated from Rockingham County, Virginia, to Kentucky about
1781 or 1782, where a year or two later he was killed by the Abmharn Lincoln
1. What general impression do you get of Lincoln, hs personal- From TZvlo Years in the Melting Pot
ity and his background? Keep in mind that the man who
wrote this was running for president of a country. What im- Before, you read, consider the following questions:
age of himseif do you think Lincoln meant to convey?
2. What character traita does Lincoln seem to value? 1. What is your current living arrangement? Are you living
3. What might people admire about the man from this descrip- alone, with roommates, with a host family? With relatives?
tion? What might people find negative or undesirable about Bow has this arrangement worked out for you?
this man? 2. Are there many people where you are now who speak your
4. Do you thi& that Lincoln's life as he describes it was difficult native language? Do you try to avoid spealung your native
or easy? What gives you that impression? language and spending time with people from your country,
5. How much formal education did Lincoln receive? At what two or do you spend a good deal of your time with fhern? Which do
places in this autobiographical sketch does he mention educa- you think is better?
tion beyond his initial training? What kind of tone does he This excerpt comes from a book by Liu Zongren, a Chinese jour-
use to refer to his education? nalist who spent two years liuing and studying in Chicago. His
6. What other things might you want to h o w about this man if account is very honest, and often critical of the United States and
you were deciding whether or not b vote for hm? of U.S. cdture. His account is also full of insight, ofien funny,
and sometimes painful. At the time that this excerpt takes place
Liu is lkvilag in a suburb just north of Chicago with an American
Journa2 Suggestions family, t h McKnights, and he is hauing a dificult time. He
misses his wife and child, he feels depressed, and he dws not feel
If this autobiographical sketch by Abraham Lincoln inter- comfortable in the household where he is Living. There are simply
ested you, comment, react, or note interesting parts in a too many cultural differences between himself and his hosts. He
journal entry, is clearly experiencing culture shock. At one point he almost gives
What hnds of qualities do you consider important for the up and goes back to China. But he decdes to stay. In this excerpt
leader of a country? List these qualities as they come to your we see Liu trying other strategies to make himself feet less alone
mind, then rank them according to the order of their impor- in the United States; he transfers to another school and moves in
tance. with other Chinese.
Meanwhile more and more areas of my life were becoming
meaningless. Two months had passed and I did not seem to be
able to adjust very well to living in the McKnights' house. I
wasn't sure whether I could survive for two years under these
conditions. I began to wonder if it might be better for me to live
with other Chinese. Before leaving China, I had decided not to
speak Chinese at all in the United States. in order to make
faster progress with English. And in these two months I had spo-
ken more English than I had in all the fourteen years since I
had been studying the language. Nevertheless, I now began to
yearn to speak my own language again.
Professor McKnight kindly gave me the telephone number of
a Chinese student at Northwestern, who gave me another num-
ber of a group of five Chinese living in an apartment west of the
campus. They asked me to visit them on Saturday night. I knew
none of them, but they looked, acted, thought, and spoke
Chinese, and I felt comfortable and warm just being among my
those occasions when I thought you had let me a little further lively English; Evanston was too quiet and too upper-middle
class.
into your life that my general state of gloominess was tempotar-
ily dispelled."
.*.*.*.*.* ....
After a lot of mental struggle, I decided to transfer to the To a certain extent I was pleased that I was finally learning
University of Illinois a t Chicago Circle. . . . to be more aggressive, to make my own choices, and t o overcome
- In thinking about what to do with my future here, I had the Chinese reluctance to say no to other people. . . . But be-
come to the conclusion that what I needed was a bridge person, fore I had told the McKnights that I had decided to leave, I hesi-
one who could close the gap for me between the culture of China tated for several days. I worried that I would be letting them
and the United States. There were a thousand things I was ea- down if I left their house. And in the end, I didn't give them a
ger ta know. The rest of my time in the United States would straightforward reason; I only stressed the dullness of the
hardly be long enough t o learn about the culture. I didn't want school.
to be confined just to a classroom. I could take a hundred books On a Saturday morning, Zheng Zhenyi came to Evanston to
back to read in my own country, but I couldn't take people with help me move. I can't put into words how I felt then. Bitter, mis-
me. I had to know them here. erable, regretful?-I didn't know.The McKnights probably were
It hadn't taken long for me to realize that my language was relieved that I was leaving. I must have become a bore to
not as much of an obstacle to learning as was my cultural her- them-a depressed character hanging around their otherwise
itage. Even if I could have understood all the words people were complacent life. They saw me off, without the many polite words
using in their conversations, I often had no idea what they were that Chinese usually use when saying goodby to a guest. The
talking about. I could follow a conversation but could not take white house stood quietly against the gray sky;the grass beside
the sidewalks was turning tenderly green.
part in it because I knew so little about the subject. The gap was
often so great that I thought we must be using different forms of
.**..**.* ....
**.
4. What impression do you have of the McKnights from this de- Who Are Smarter- Boys or Girls?
scription?
Scientists Probe the Roots ofAbiEities That Seem Linked to Sex
2. Recount Kagan's experiment conducted with the babies and Are Men Born with Power?
mothers. --
3. Why don't little girls do better in the real world if they do bet-
ter in school than little boys? Before you read, consider the following questions:
4. Do you agree with the conclusions reached in this selection? 1. What do you think accounts for the fact that males seem to
dominate most human societies?
2. Can you name any situations you are aware of in which
Journal Suggestions males are subordinate to females? What accounts for this sit-
uation?
If this reading interested you, respond to it in a journal en- In the following essay tke author, a research antlyopoIogist, dis-
try. Comment, react, or note any interesting information. cusses biological explanations for males' historical dominance
Would you rather be a male o r a female in your society? over females. Her approach focuses mainly on brain chemistry.
Whose life is better? What are the advantages and disadvan- Why did ancient agricultural societies become patriarchies in-
tages of each one? Do you think more men would want to be stead of matriarchies? W h y didn't women seize the rule? The
women or to Iive women's lives or more women would want brute force necessary to drive the plow and the strength re-
to be men or lead men's lives? Why? quired in warfare both suffice to answer this question. But I
think at least one more primary factor was involved in the flo-
rescence of patriarchy and the decline of women's worlds-biol-
ow.
In every single society where ranks are prevalent. men hold
the majority of the authoritative roles. In fact, in 88 percent of
93 societies canvassed, all local and intermediate political lead-
ers are men; in 84 percent of these cultures men hold all the top
leadership positions in the kin group too. This is not because
women are barred from these positions. In many of these
cultures-such as the United States-women are permitted to
seek influential positions in government. Today greater numbers
of women are indeed running for office. Eut even now women do
not seek political positions with anything near the regularity
that men do.
...,..,.
**.***..*
[As] one who takes science seriously, I cannot ignore the pos-
sibility that biology plays a role in the acquisition of rank. In
fact, several lines of reasoning support this conclusion.
The brain is indeed sexed before birth by fetal hormones.
There is a clear link between testosterone and aggressive behav-
ior in animals and people. High rank is also associated with high
levels of male hormones in men and monkeys. Also, women in
many cultures assume more leadershp positions after their
childbearing years are over. There certainly are cultural reasons
for this. Released from the constant chores of rearing young,
postmenopausal women are certainly liberated to pursue activi-
ties outside the home. But there may be a biological reason for
their assertiveness as well. Levels of estrogen decline with
menopause, unmashng levels of testosterone. Nature has con- If you were to assume that brain chemistry is, in fact, the
cocted a chemical that possibly contributes to the drive for rank. major cause of the kind of behavior that creates leaders,
There may be another chemical in the cocktail too-sero- would this fact make you feel less impressed with leadership
tonin, another of the brain's molecules. The highest-ranking qualities? In other words, if people become leaders because
male vervet monkey in a troop, scientists have established, has of natural chemical gifts instead of effort or wisdom, would
consistently higher levels of serotonin in his blood. Even when this make you think less highly of leaders?
male monkeys are artificially administered serotonin, their rank
goes up; and male monkeys given drugs that inhlbit the secre-
tion of serotonin experience a drop in rank.
Among human males the same correlations prevail. Officers Optional Wrif ing Assignment
in college student groups show higher levels of serotonin in their
blood than do nonofficers, as do leaders of college sports teams. In 'Who Are Smarter-Boys or Girls'!" and "Are Men Born with
These simple correlations seem not to be exhibited in women. Power?" two different explanations for differences in male/
And scientists preliminarily conclude that women and female female behavior are given. The first article gives an explanation
nonhuman primates exhibit a more complex behavioral and based partly on biological differences but mostly on the way boys
physiological system of dominance. and girls are treated. The second article concIudes that biochem-
Nevertheless, there seems to be a rather direct correlation ical differences have the most impact on the way dominance (in-
between testosterone and rank-as well as some evidence that cluding male dominance over females) creates hierarchies
other brain substances contribute to the biology of hierarchy. among primates. Which position seems most convincing to you?
Use summaries, paraphrases, and quotations from the articles
Helen Fisher to support or explain your position. Be sure to cite the articles as
necessary in your text and prepare a bibliography. 4
1. The author gives several pieces of evidence to suggest that
the dominance of males in society is caused by testosterone.
What are they?
2. 'What does the presence of serohnin correlate with in mon-
keys and humans?
3. Because the same correlations do not occur in women,what
conclusions do researchers ,draw about women and brain
chemistry?
Journal Suggestions
What is your reaction to the information in this essay? Are
you convinced or do you feel that the situation might be
more complex than simple issues of chemistry? Comment on
any aspect of ths essay that you find interesting.
If the conclusions that the author draws from brain chem-
istry are correct, what does that suggest about how human
beings should live? Should we try to do something to reduce
the testosterone in excessively aggressive men? How much
aggression is excessive? Should women try to increase the
amount of testosterone in their bodies?
From Savage Inequalifies ployment. Emphasis in the suburban schools, they add, should
necessarily be more expansive, with a focus upon college prepa-
Chapter 2: Other P e o p k f Children ration.
Investment strategies, according to this logic, should be
matched to the potential economic value of each person. Future
Before you read, consider the following questions:
service workers need a different and, presumably, a lower order
1. When you started school, did you expect to study at a univer- of investment than the children destined to be corporate execu-
sity or college some day? Did your family expect you to con- tives, physicians, lawyers, engineers. Future plumbers and fu-
tinue your education beyond high school? What kind of pro- ture scientists require different schooling-maybe different
fession did they expect you to enter? schools. Segregated education is not necessarily so unattractive
2. How do young people in your country decide what they will by this reasoning.
study in elementary and secondary school? Axe there exams Early testing to assign each child to a "realistic" course of
that put children on a particular educational track that they study, the tracking of children by ability determined by the tests,
must follow, or are children free to select any courses they and the expansion of a parallel system for the children who ap-
like? pear to show the greatest promise (gifted classes and selective
schools) are also favored from this vantage point. In terms of
In thrs section of Savage Inequalities KozoE discusses the kinds of
sheer eficiency and of cost-benefit considerations, it is a sensible
limitations placed on children who must attend poorly funded,
approach to education. If children are seen primarily as raw ma-
educationally inferior schools. First he describes the practical ar-
terial for industry, a greater investment in the better raw mate-
gument that because children in inner-city schools are not
rial makes sense. Market values do not favor much investment
trained well enough to go to college, they should be trained in
in the poorest children.
schools for the jobs they will eventually hold, even though these
One cannot dispute the fact that giving poor black adoles-
jabs are the least prestigious, lowest-level jobs in society. Wealthy
cents job skills, if it is self-evident that they do not possess the
suburban children can get the education that they will need to fill
academic skills to go to college, is a good thing in itself. But the
the jobs of lawyer and doctor. Kozol then responds to this argu-
business leaders who put emphasis on filling entry-level job slots
ment by pointing out that those who make this type of argument
are the same people who reject the idea of spending mow money
are too frequently the people who, by prior lobbying and voting
patterns and their impact upon social policy, have made it all
on educating inner-city schoolchildsen enough so chat they will
but certain that few of these urban kids would get the education
be qualified to go to college. He says that i f society expects little
in their early years that would have made them look like college
from the children in poor schools, then the children themselves
prospects by their secondary years. First we circumscribe their
and their parents will also expect little from them and, as a re-
destinies and then we look at the &minished product and we
sult, are likely to get little. The wealthy parents and their priui-
say, "Let's be pragmatic and do with them what we can."
leged children, on the other hand, expect to get the best education
The evolution of two parallel curricula, one for urban and
and later the best jobs and will accept nothing less.
one for suburban schools, has also underlined the differences in
A recent emphasis of certain business-minded authors writing what is felt to be appropriate to different kinds of children and
about children in the kinds of schools we have examined in to socially distinct communities. 'This school is right for this
Chicago urges us to settle for "realistic" goals, by which these community," says a former director of student services a t New
authors mean the kinds of limited career objectives that seem Trier High. But, he goes on, "it certainly wouldn't be right for
Iogical or fitting for low-income children. Many corporate leaders every community." What is considered right for children a t Du
have resisted this idea, and there are some who hold out high Sable and their counterparts in other inner-city schools becomes
ideals and truly democratic hopes for these low-income children; self-evident to anyone who sees the course of study in such
but other business leaders speak quite openly of "training" kids schools. Many urban high school students do not study math but
like these for nothing better than the entry-level jobs their cor- "business mathn-essentially, a very elemental Ievel of book-
porations have available. Urban schools, they argue, should dis- keeping. Job-specific courses such as 'cosmeto1ogy" (hairdress-
pense with "frills" and focus on the "the basicsn needed for em- ing, manicures), which would be viewed as insults by suburban
1. What does Kozol think about the idea that high schools
should train poor children in low-leveljob skills?
2. What is Kozol's reaction t o the idea that low-level jobs must
be done by someone and so it is logical for these poor children
to eventually take these jobs?
3. Why was the course in office education eventuaIly dropped
from the curriculum at New Trier High School?
Journal Suggestions
What is your reaction to the argument in this text? Do you
agree with Kozol that limiting our expectations of certain
people in society and limiting their opportunities is unfair?
Or do you agree with the argument that someone must even-
Is There a Doctor in the Classroom? teaching or communicating with students. Course work is con-
centrated in a single discipline or subdiscipline, and the cap-
New Questians about the Necessity of a Ph.D. for College Teachers stone of the degree- the doctoral dissertation-is an intense ex-
ercise in independent study within a carefully delimited area of
knowIedge.
Before you read, consider the following questions:
Yet despite the emphasis on research, most American acade-
1. What is a Ph,D. or a doctorate? mics with Ph.D.s essentially do none. 'The American academic
2. Do any of your teachers now have Ph.D.s? profession is largely a teaching profession," write Lewis and
3. What advantage do you think having a Ph.D.would be for a Altbach. "And in any case, the overwhelming majority of
teacher? American Faculty work in institutions that cannot provide them
4. What advantage do you think it would be for a student to be with scientific equipment, library facilities, and &her resources
taught by a teacher with a Ph.D.? t o carry on pathbreaking research."
Getting a Ph.D. is the highest academic achievement in the Contrary to the ','publishor perish' myth that helps to Iegiti-
mate the importance of Ph.D.s, even those few academics who do
United States. In most cuses only professors with Ph.D.s use
hired by universities. However, the Ph.D. is a research degree, not conduct original research seldom publish, report Lewis and
Altbach. According to a 1989 study of faculty a t two- and four-
a teaching degree. This means that many ofthe professors in col-
year colleges by the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement
Ieges and un~uersktieshave been trained to do research but kavp
of Teaching cited by Lewis and Altbach, 28 percent of faculty had
not been trained to teach, h fact, research is considered much
more prestigious than teaching, as is shown by the differences in
never published an article, and 47 percent had published noth-
salaries paid to researchers and teachers. This article discusses ing in the past two years. Fifty-seven percent had never pub-
the question of whether or not it is a good idea to hire people with lished a book o r monograph, while close to half identified them-
a Ph.D. for institutions in which the marn responsibility is not re- selves primarily as teachers and 27 percent leaned toward
search but teaching. teaching. Only 6 percent focused primarily on research.
Despite findings such as these, the century-long dominance
We're all familiar with the stereotypical absent-minded profes- of the Ph.D, in higher education has made it difficult, if not im-
sor so distracted by his research that he (and it is usually a he1 possible, for new models of doctoral training ta succeed. Decades
cannot function in daily life-let alone relate to his students. ego an effort was made to institute a broader-based doctor of
The stereotype m a y be funny, but the assumption at its heart arts degree as an alternative to the increasingly specialized
suggests a serious question that could affect the future of higher Ph.D., but the reform failed when students continued t o arefer
education: Is the traditional doctoral program, with its emphasis the more prestigious doctorate and colleges and universities con-
on specialization and research, necessarily the best or only way tinued to require it.
to train college professors? In the 1990s, academia may have no choice but to recon-
Sociology professor Lionel S. Lewis of the State University of sider.
New York (SUNY)at Buffalo and Philip G. Altbach, professor .**.**.*..**.*.".
and director of SUNY Buffalo's Comparative Education Center, News of a long-anticipated faculty shodage fills professional
are among the minority of educators who say no. In a controver- journals. As Minnesota, the University of Minnesota Alumni
sial critique of doctoral education in the American Association of Association magazine (March 19901, reports, Howard Boen and
University Professors' magazine, Academe (MayIJune 19921, Jack Schuster, authors of American Prof~ssors:A National
they argue that the esteemed Ph.D. degree-that long-estab- Resource Imperiled, predict that 500,000 of the nation's 700,000
lished rite of passage to professorship-may be ideal for a ca- faculty members will retire within the next two decades, and
reer in research but is superfluous and even inappropriate for most af them will have to be replaced.
the majority of academics, who are primarily teachers. Even if the faculty shortage doesn't materialize, tuition
Their argument is logical- and convincing. Consider, for in- hikes are prompting students to question the research emphasis
stance, that the Ph.D. regimen offers very little instruction in a t large universities, and some colleges are responding by begin-
1. What is the main reason that the Ph.D. degree may not be an
appropriate requirement for most college professors?
2. The article cites a number of statistics about professors' pub-
lishing. What are these statistics intended to show?
3. Why did the more teaching-oriented doctor of arts degree not
replace the Ph.D. as a requirement for college teaching, ac-
cording to this article?
4. What evidence is there that schools may have to reconsider
dropping the Ph.D. as a requirement for teaching?
Journal Suggestions
What is your reaction to this article? Have you studied in
many classrooms taught by someone with a Ph.D., either at
home or where you are now studying? Did you consider
these people to be good teachers?
What do you think are the most important things a profes-
sor should know in order t o be ,a good teacher? Can these
things be taught in teacher-training classes?
Are you planning to get a Ph.D.? If so, do you plan to teach
or mainly to do research? If you are planning to teach, do
Voices from the College Front my family, my person, my Iife even, do not carry the same
weight or have the same value as those of other students,
M a k e s N o Difference If It's Blmk or White, College b a Different World. White students, on this campus.
Here's What Some Students Have to Say About Life on Campus Today In the narratives that follow, Black college students at
oarious Bhck and White institutions across the country
speak openly and honestly about their schools, their
Before you read, consider the f o l l o ~ n g
questions: experiences, their relationships with their peers and, most
1. Are there schoola in your country attended only by certain important, the issues that concern them as members of a
racial or ethnic groups or socioeconomic classes? How does generation with the potential and the responsibility to make
this system work? substantial changes in the lives of Black people.
2. Would you feel comfortable being the only person of your
Mukemi Adewole, 1993 graduate, Northwestern University,
racial or ethnic group or social class in college? Euanston, Illtnois, theater major
This article is a series of short statements by African American I chose Northwestern because of its theater department
college students discussing their reasons for choosing to attend primarily and its location. I attended a racially mixed high
college in predominantly black or predominantly white sshoois school, although I didn't have very many African-American
and their experiences there. These students raise issues of extreme friends. When I got to Northwestern, I was determined to
importance to African American young people, Most white people integrate myself into the Black community. Before
in the United States are aware of the problems o f racism, but matriculating I visited the school during a weekend when
many are completely unaware of other problems young African there weren't too many other "prefreshmen"on campus, so I
Americans face, such as the importance to young black people o f was able to get more of a sense of how the Black community
acting black sa that they will not be accused by other black people really was. There were a lot of activities going on, and it felt
of trying to be white; the fact that young hblck people have often really positive.
learned to hate themselves for being btack; the difficulty of study- I would say most of the Black students that come here
ing in a culture that does not value and therefore does not teach have gone to predominantly White schools and may not have
their cultural values, history, ao literature; the difficulty of cross- lived around other Black people or have had very many
racial tensions and misunderstandings. Black friends, which was my situation. So you make a
decision that you want to be really involved in the Black
In the spring of my sophomore year at Harvard University, I community.
was almost arrested in m y own dormitory for attempting to But one of the problems some people have with that is
take my computer to my nearby home. My younger brother feeling that you have to prove yourself or your Blackness by
had come in with me to help me carry it, and on our way out wearing this or that, or talking like this or that. This creates
the door the security guard stopped us. He told us not to a pressure to conform to those outward expressions of
moue, that we weren't going anywhere. My brother was able *BIackness"in order to show that you're "down." People who
to motion for my mother and younger sister, who were wait- don't fit into this mold or who don't do these things feel
ing i n the car, to come in. My mother tsied to talk to the looked down upon or excluded. I'm not saying that only stu-
guard, but to no avail. He called for backup. At least four dents who gsew up in predominantly W t e environments
squad cars arrived on the scene inamdiately. At that point it act in certain ways. It can't be as cut-and-dried as that. It's
didn't matter that we were a family, that I was a Haruard just the way different people choose to do it [express their
student, that my mother-herself a Harvard graduate -was identities]. However, I think things have been getting better
a parent dressed in a sophisticated business suit, that m y in that respect over the past year and a half.
sister was only in seventh grade or that m y brother was a I think the main advantage of being at this institution is
sophomore in high school. None of this made a difference. ALL the exposure it has given me t o reality in terms of the kinds
that mattered was that we were Black. I relay this incident of people I11 be dealing with and the real situations I might
because I karned from it a painful lesson: that m y education, find myself in. College in itself is a fantasy. But I think, for
example, at a predominantly Black school you're more race or color, and in that way I feel relieved. If I've grown
sheltered to an extent. I mean, when ynu get out there in the any, I think it would be from that relief. I've been able to be
world, you're going to be dealing with White people. I just more outspoken. I used to be shy, and it's been easier for
think attending a predominantly White school has helped me to make friends here with people I feel are going to be
me t a be a little bit more realistic, and I stress a little bit important to me even after I leave this place.
more realistic. Cornell Womack, 2993 graduate, Georgetown University,
Washington,D.C., history and drama major
Sushama Austin, sophomore, E ~ s kUniversity, Nashuille, English Where I ended up going to school was very much influenced
major
by the fact that 1come fmm a familial structure that really
I chose to come to Fisk because my dad is a Fisk alumnus, had no understanding of what it meant to go to college.
but, more important, because I wanted to have a Black Nobody in my family had gone to college. Nobody had any
college experience. I knew i t was a good school academically, real knowledge of how to apply So schools, what schools to
but I chose Fisk more for social reasons. I attended apply to, what i t meant to go to certain schools. So I wound
predominantly White Catholic schools in Washington, D.C., up applying to names that I had heard of. I applied to
and Michigan during high school. I had the hardest Princeton, Yale, West Point and Georgetown, and I got inta
eleventh- and twelfth-grade years. The people: at my school all of them. I wound up at Georgetown, where I found an
were really prejudiced, and the kids were not very nice to environment that was elitist and socially segregated. There
me. I had a difficult time proving myself and malung friends was dialogue and talk of inclusiveness, but for all intents
there. I t was so frustrating. I was ready for a change.I was and purposes, socially, Blacks and Whites didn't really mix.
ready to be around more people who looked like me. E told There is an undeniable Black community a t Georgetown,
m y parents last year that I never thought what color I was which is formed as much through necessity as it is through
would actually be that big of a problem in my life -at least threat. The threat is of exclusion from the Black community,
not to the extent that it was. I know I can't run away from and the necessity comes from the fear of being lost in
racism, but at least ROW I know how it feels to be in an Whiteness. It's a support system,in the absence of an
.................
environment with mostly people of color. academic or administrative support structure, where we can
I think Fisk i s a really good school academically. The go to one another and socialize and not have to operate that
"other part" of our consciousness that Du Bois [W.E.B.] talks
expectations are high, and there's a lot of competition. You
about. bell hooks asks the question, "Does anybody question
really do have to work. One of the things that makes it so
the fact that White people hang out together most of the
nice, though, is that the school incorporates an
time?" We always put things in these oppositional terms to
African-American perspective. I love English- that's my
see a deviance, and not what is a naturally occurring pattern
major-but I've never enjoyed it as much as I have this
year. So many Black writers were brought to my attention
in other ethnic groups. It" always hfficult when you have a
that I didn't even know about. I knew about the famous
Black community on a predominantly White campus,
ones like James Baldwin and Toni Morrison, but there are
because it then tends to become more defensive and more
writers I don't think 1would ever have had the chance to concerned with issues of getting the White structure to
experience in any other institution.
accept it. That may be energy wasted, and energy that
probably would not have been spent, a t least, not in the same
For me, it's a real experience to be here because I get to
see the Black race a t its best and celebrating its best. I've way, on a predominantly Black campus.
In terms of the processes of development I've gone
never been in an atmosphere, academically speaking,where
through, I had to admit at some point in my life, as I think
you celebrate your best, and the best are these Black people
all Black people have t o admit, that I have been taught to
who are just as bright and intelligent a s everybody else.
hate myself. It took a hell of a long time for me t o be able to
I find it refreshing that if youye smart, you're smart
say that, yes, I have internalized my oppression. I have
because of who you are. You're not highlighted as "Oh, she's
taken personal and emotional time to heal from the process
a smart Black student" or "She's doing so well for a Black
student." I'm in a place where I'm not judged as much on
of coming to this knowledge.
understand that we have something in common and want to I spoke to several civil-rights activists who fought during the
be around one another. I think one thing I learned at Vassar sixties, and they said that they were fighting for an equal
i s to be more tolerant of differences. But I also learned to chance and an equal opportunity, I'm fighting for all that,
recognize when I'm being put down and to speak up when 1 but I'm fighting for the truth this time-for my history to
find that something is wrong. I don't think I would have be taught. We can't live together in America, unified, unless
done anything like that before I came here. we first understand where we all come from and learn to
................
* respect and appreciate one another's cultures. If you can't
learn to appreciate someone's culture, then you can't learn
Nicole Tarpley, senior, Brandeis Uniuersity, Welthum, to appreciate that person as a person.
Massachasetts, African-American studies and sociology major
Brandeis is a predominantly Jewish institution. The Nutasha Tarpley
academic calendar is set up around Jewish holidays. There
are Jewish dorms. There is a kosher cafeteria. As a Black 1. What lesson did Natasha Tarpley, the author of the first sec-
person here it is difficultto feel at home both academically tion of this article, learn from the experience with her com-
and socially. There are about 300 to 150 Black people, and puter at Harvard?
we pretty much stick together. I don't really socialize with 2. What are some of the reasone these students gave for attend-
the White students, so this is an important outlet for me. ing predominantly black schools?
There are some people, however, who would say that it is 3. What are some of the reasons these students gave for attend-
not really a cohesive community. But I think that's because ing predominantly white schools?
people have their own agendas and social priorities. I 4. What do you think Cornell Womack meant by the statement
happen to get along with most of the Black students, so I that all black people have been taught to hate themselves?
don't think it's a problem. 5. What do you think it means to act black?
It seems at times, though, that the presence of a 6. What does it mezsl to act white according to these students?
Black community presents a threat to the wider campus 7. Why does it seem so important to these students to study
population, based on their perception that we're separating black literature and history?
ourselves. I remember one event during Black History
Month when we invited a brother from the Nation of Islam
to speak at the Intercultural Center on campus. His topic Journal Suggestions
was the African-American male. But earlier that day some
Jewish students were distributing flyers, saying that this When people speak of American culture, they really mean
event should be boycotted because the Nation of Islam is the culture of white Americans. Were you surprised by any-
anti-Semitic. A group of them, outnumbering the Black thing you read in these students' statements? Were you
Journal Suggestions
* What is your reaction to the content of this essay? Are you
convinced by the three explanations given for the fact that
women's work is considered not as valuable as men's work?
Comment on any aspect of this essay that you found inter-
esting.
How does your culture fit inb the descriptions here? Is
women's work considered inferior and undesirable for a man
to do? Are women paid as much as men for the kind of work
they do? Are there jobs in your d t u r e that used to be
strictly men's work that are now done by women as well? DO
men in your culture care for children, or is that usually
women's work? How old are children when they start doing
work that is considered either strictly women's or stsictly
men's work?
* The division of labor between the two sexes is made some-
what differently in different cultures. Think about the way
ALTERNATIVE WRITING A S S I I G m N T FOR ClWlTER 1 tra-modern form like Roller Blades or skateboards? What
are its advantages and disadvantages?
The popular culture, the economy, and sometimes the politi-
; Writing Assignment 1.2: Technological Changes cal ideas of the United States have had an effect on many
other parts of the world. Have you seen this influence in
Writing Imagine that you are talung a history class called Problems of your own country? How has this influence affected the tastes
b s i ~ ~ e 1-2
n t Industrialization. In, this class you are studying the negative ef- or the opinions of people in your country?
fects of technology as industrialization occurs around the world.
First discuss with your class any changes you have noticed in
your lifetime in which the introduction of modern technoEogy has Again, follow the directions for Writing Assignment 1.2 in
resulted in negative side effects. Chapter 1. When you are ready to start your first draft, you
Now read the text on page 303. should have several important items in front of you:
Reading
the text of the article "Auto-cracy Is Being Exported to Third
"Auto-craw Is Being Exported to Third World," page 303
World,"
Here is a writing assignment you might get in this history the directions for the assignment,
class: your invention lists,
your responses to the Journal Suggestions, if you wrote
Based on the article called "Auto-cracy Is Being Exported to them,
Third World," write a short paper on the following topic: your first draR,
your ideas about who will read this paper and why,and
your classmates' reactions to your writing.
Modern technology has brought many positive changes in our lives,
but with these advances have aiso come losses. Describe a change
of this type that has occurred in your country. Compare the past
If you find that you are having problems with this assignment,
situation with the present situation. What was the situation like return to any of the parts of the process you have just gene
before? What is it like now? What problems have these changes through and try again. Different people approach the solution to
created? their problems with a piece of writing in diflerent ways. You may
want to do one or more of the following:
Readings
Journal Suggestions "Do Not Disturb," page 297
'Sacred Places," page 299
Chapter 2 willget What is the most unusual mode of transportation in your
you 6d
- keeping country? Who uses this type of transportation? Is it an old, discuss the text with someone
a writingjournal. create a new list of ideas
traditional form like riding on a mule or horse, or is it an ul-
New parents will be interesting in a recent discovery discussed sponsibilities. Second, none of this women wished they were
in a well-known medical journal. As hospital personnel work in boys when they were youngs. They were all quite happy to be
maternity wards are aware for a long time now, infants crying in girls, except when people told them they were doing things girls
the nursery have quite an effect on calm babies. When the calm shouldn't do. These girls were ignored people who told them to
infants hear the sound of other infant crying, they too begin to wear dresses, to be passive, not to engage in sports, or to be in-
sob. In reported experiment, psychologists were making record- terest in cook instead of in building things. But the most impor-
ings of newborns crying; then have let the infants listen to the tant element in this picture was their relationship with their fa-
sound of their own cries. Amazing, most of infants stopped c r y - thers. In each case their fathers encouraged them to do as they
ing as soon as they heard themselves on tape. Furthermore, if pleased regardless of what did society say. This does not mean
the infants had not been crying,listen to their own cries did not their fathers treated them like boys or wished they were boys.
make them begin. Other observations had shown that the cries On the other hand, their fathers adrmred their feminine while
of older babies will not cause the newborns to start crying. Thus, never assuming that their femininity should avoid them from
resear~hershave conclude that newborns are capable of making
striving for experience and freedom. All these fathers also spent
distinction between their own crying and that of other babies,
time with these girls, playing sports with them, going for walks,
furthermore, they react differently depending who the baby's
or just talk. Furthermore, whereas boys may become rivals for
crying they hear, their own, that of another infant, or that of a n
their fathers, these girls were apparently never threat to their
older baby. The exact mechanism by which this discrimination
fathers. Therefore, these fathers prouded very much when their
has been occurred, however, remains a mystery.
girls were competitive successful in any area. It seems clear that
11 errors
the combination of the close comradeship and continual encour-
Information taken from Le Progres Egypt~en,Saturday 26 duly 1986,p. 2, agement of their fathers gave these women the strong and She
sense of self-worth that allowed them to succeed where a few The Successes of Debi Thomas
women do. Debi Thomas is the first Black ice skater to win a senior na-
20 errom tional championship. Her interest in skating has begun when
she was only three years old and her mother took her to the Ice
Idormation taken fmm Gail Sheehy, Passages (New York: Duttan, 1976).
Capades. She became very excited during the show that she
begged her mother for a pair of skates. Although she became an
excellent skater as a child, but she didn't win any competitions
until she was 12. Because she was deteminated to become a
great skater, she quit school in the 8th grade in order to be able
to spend all her time training. But in her next competition, she
had only taken 4th place. Disappointing in her performance, she
decided to go back to school, If she couldn't success as a skater,
at least could still work hard for a good education. For four years
in high school she studied hard all. day and then every day aRer
school spent hours to train Tor figure skating competitions. Her
big chance came in 1985-86. First she accepted at Stanford
University as a medical microbiology major, one of the most &ffi-
cult major at the university. Next her hard work in the skating
rink was finally reward when in 1986 she won the U.S.Senior
Ladies' Figure Skating Championship. As she pursues her study
in biochemistry, microbiology, and immunology in order te be-
come an orthopedic surgeon specialize in sports medicine, Debi
remains confidence that she can do anything she sets her mind
to do.
15 errors
Information taken fmm Sports Illusrra& 117 March 1986, vo1. 64, no. 11,
pp. 54-61,
Musical Faces sing. Thus, this researchers' findings fit in with these theories.
Artists have right brain, therefore Ieft face, dominance.
Everyone knows that some people are left handed and the rest
Next time you smile at yourself in the mirror, check to see
are right handed, but not everyone realizes that their faces also
which side of your mouth moves first. Tf the left side appears
display left or right dominance, Been left or right handed does
dominant, you may had discovered the sign of a hidden taYent
not seem ta correlate to any other psychological characteristics,
for the music.
but researches seem t o show that lelt-faced people have a special
talent for music. 15 errors
By studying computerized images of lip and jaw movements, Information taken from T h e Sign ofMus~cRead in the Face," R. d. Trotter,
Psychology Today, March 1985,p. 28.
psychologist Karl U. Smith had been able to determinate that
everyone shows a preference for one or other side of the face and
that this preference is probably with us from birth. As with
handedness, most people are right faced. But then Smith ana-
lyzed his findings by professions and found that, amazing as
m a y seem, 98 percent of the opera singers he observed were left
faced. In addition, he watched video tapes of current well-known
musicians performing and look a t paintings of famous musicians
of the past, like Beethoven, Wagner, Liszt, Brahms, and once
again his investigation showed that this musicians were pre-
dominantly left faced.
Smith explains that facedness is related to brain hemisphere
dominance, with the left side of the brain controls the right side
of the body and the right side of the brain controlling the left
side of the body. Current theories of brain dominance hold that
the right side of the brain controls holistic, creative, artistic
functions. Whereas the left side of the brain is appeared to han-
dle linguistic and analytical functions. Furthermore, the right
side of brain controls total performance such as the ability to
mal schooling does to children. Schools are accuse of discourag- Information taken from The Home-SchoolingAlternative," Eileen Garred,
USAir September 1985, pp. 10-13.
ing independence thinking, of dampening motivation, and put
too much pressure on children while they encourage competition
and the desire to get good grades rather than to learn. Educator
John Holt, an advocate of home schooling, has tried to reform
education in this country from within for years until he finally
gave up on a system that he says crush creativity and the desire
to learn by forcing young students into molds that they accom-
modate the system rather than the individual learner. He says
schools creating fear and anxiety in children which paralyze
them intellectually just as laboratory rats paralyze by
rewardlpunishment Bysterns. Instead of teach children to think
independently, schools had turned children into 'praise junkies"
interested mainly in getting good grades, not in learning.
Parents are happy with the home-schooling system maintain
that their children often move faster through the curriculum
I APPENDIX C
%
POSSIBLE ANSWERS TO '"POSTOR
PHENOZ\IZENON," CHAP'ITR 9
I Answers t o Exercises Do you ever secretly feel that your academic success is the result
of luck rather than the result of your o w n intelligence? If so, you
may be suffering from the "impostor phenomenon." People SUE-
fering from this psychological condition do not believe that they
are really intelligent despite their academic successes a t school.
Moreover, these people feel guilty because they believe that they
have deceived their teachers into thinking they, are intelligent,
while they themselves feel deep down that they Sre not.
The impostor phenomenon occurs mostly among young
women, especially among beginning graduate students, women
who are obviously intelligent. These women usually grew up in
one of two types of families. In the first type of family, some
other family member was designated "the smart one" in the fam-
ily and the girl with the impostor feeEings was designated as
something else. Thus, whenever that girl was successful aca-
demically she felt as though she were tricking people. She felt
sure she wasnt the intelligent one in the family. After all, that's
what her family had always told her.
The second type of family is the high achiever type that be-
lieves success or achievement comea easily and naturally for su-
perior people. As a result of this attitude in the family, children
may become afraid to admit that their achievements have come
from hard work. For example, one young woman who suffered
from impostor feelings never let her family see her studying be-
cause they had told her that really smart people don't need to
study. Consequently, she felt that if she studied and got good
grades, she was tricking people into thinking she was intelli-
gent. She knew she couldn't really be intelligent, because she
had to study and she had been told that intelligent people don't
have to study.
Even though their academic achievements prove their intel-
ligence, these women cannot think of themselves as intelligent.
Instead they think of themselves as cheaters, hiding from the
world the truth that they are not as good as they seem, that they
are only impostors.
LOGICAL CONNECTORS,CHAPTER 9
These logical connectors are grouped into general categories by
meaning. However, the meanings of the words in the same cate-
gory are not necessarily interchangeable. Check with your in-
Corrected Version of Editing Test, Chapter 9 Being very mature and very responsible forces you to miss this free-
dom that you still need.
When I left my home and parents to begin my studies abroad, I All people should be given the chance to live their awn ages fully.
was told that going abroad was going to be the most thrilling experi- Right now I would prefer being a teenager to being a mature adult.
ence of my life. Studying in a foreign country was going to build my For a fruit ripened too quickly loses its flavor.
character, enhance my sense of responsibility, and give me new Karen Moukheiber (Lebanon)
honzons to look fonvard to. I have been living here only since
September, but I see that what living abroad also does is to take
away that period of carelessness, that spirit of freedom that is so
special to teenagers. ANSWERS TO EDITING mST, CHAFITR 9
Leaving home and parents to study abroad was a striking experi- --
.... ..
ence. It was not only my famrly I was leaving but also my friends and Part l
the places 1 knew: a whole part of my life. Once in the U.S., 1 had to
face the problems of a new language, new friends, in short, a new 1 . fhrill thrilling. Use the adjective form to describe the
way of life. Even though a beginning is always difficult, all these noun. The experience thrills me becomes The experience
changes are very enriching. 3 have been told many times that after is thrilling or It is a thrilling experience.
overcoming all these obstacles, people feel much better, much
2. in the foreign country -+ in a fore& country. Use the in-
stronger than they did before they faced these difficulties. My answer
to these claims is that as a result of my experiences here I will cer-
definite article when t h e noun has not previously been
identified. The definite article is usually used once the
tainly have more confidence. The problem is, however, that the tim-
reader knows w h c h specific country is being referred to.
ing was wrong for me. It would have been better for me to wait until
I'm older. Trying to make new fnends, to speak a new language, and 3. characteristics -. character. Usage error. Chamcteristics
to face all the problems of a new culture when you have no one to means features that distinguish or define. Character
confide in makes you grow-not stronger-but older than you realty means personality ar moral strength.
are. You realize this when you talk to people who are your own age. 4. see offer/give me. Parallelism. Studying was going to
-+
You see that their concerns are quite different from yours. What they build, enhance, and offer . . . The subject of see new
have to worry about is what fraternrty they will jorn or what they will horizons is I , not Studying.
do on Friday night. There are not enough similarities between them 5. am living -- have been living. Use present perfect with
and you. A gap has formed between you and your own generation. since in the time clause.
Moreover, it is not only a new culture that you now have to face 6. needs -. needed. Past participle reduced f m passive
but also new responsibilities. There is no one but yourself to take form. A teenager needs freedom, but freedom is needed by
care of you. You Rave to be sure that your phone bill is paid on time a teenager. Therefore: spirit of freedom [which is]
and that your money has been spent conscientioudy. You cannot needed.
bring your dirty ciothes home during the weekend to your mother's 7. for studying to study. To show purpose, the infinitive
-+
house and ask her to wash them for you because your studies are is preferred unless there i s a noun (not a noun derived
consuming most of your time or just because you do not feel like from a verb) that might be used after the preposition: for
washing them yourself, Although you don't want to wony about all an education.
these details yourself, you must. M you feel sick, you cannot just call
8. whole part of my life a whole part of my life. Part is a
your mother and ask her what to do. You yourself will have to search
+
need to expend that "youthful energy" which is HiH boiling in you. ginning is always difficult.Euen is not a clause marker;
In addition to the answers given here, there may also be other 13. feminine femininity
ways to correct the errors. 14. avoid prevent or keep or stop
-
2. work worhng or who work
-+
-
+
-
7. crying; then crying and then o r crying; then they
8. have let let
4 2. very so
+
9. Amazing Amazingly
-+
-
4. determinated determined
5. had only taken took only
-
11. listen -. listening
12. had shown have shown or show
6. Disappointing Disappointed
7. success -. succeed
-+
14. distinction -
13. have condude -+ have concluded
a distinction
15. babies, furthermore, that babies, and furthermore
-
8. at least could at least she could
9. to train training
10. accepted was accepted
+
-+
that 11. one of the most difficult major one of the most difficult
+
-
14. specialize specialzing
15. confidence -* confident
2. apparent apparently
+
Musical Faces
3. fascinate + fascinating
1. Been + Being
4. feature features
+
-
5. a position gave a position that gave o r a position giv-
ing
2. researches seem research seems
3. had been able -t was able
+
9. controls + controlling
10. functions. Whereas 4 functions whereas
Page 126, Excerpt from "DeveEoplng Unity Among Women of Color: Crossing the
11. is appeared + appears Bamers of Internalized Racism and Cross-Raclal Kostillty" by Virgnia R.
12. side of brain side of the brain Harris and 'Ihnity A. Ordona from Muktng Face. Making Soul: Hac~endo
13. this researchers' + this researcher's Curas (Aunt Lute Books). Reprinted by permission of Virginia R. Hams and
Trin~tyA. Ordona.
14. you may had discovered you may have discovered
+
Page 187, T h e Dangers of Cramming,*Keith Ablow from Newsweek, May 1985,
15. for the music + for music O 1985, Newsweek, Inc. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permiasion.
Page 218, Kenneth Eskey, 'School System a Key to Japan's Succesa." Q Scripps
Iloward News Service. Reprinted by permiss~on.
Going to School at Home
-
1. have decide have decided
2. educating + to educate
Page 234, "Grouping the Giked:Pro," reprinted by perm;ssion o f National
Education Association.
Page 251, "Grouping the Gitted: Con,* reprinted by permission o f National
Education hsociat~on.
3. the youngs the children
+ Page 290, Revised text of 'Their Manners are Decorous & Praiseworthy" from
Bury My Heart at Wounded Kw: An Indian History of the Amerzcan West by
4. daily, in other cases + daily. In other cases Dee Brown. Q 1970 Dee Brown. Repnnted by permiss~onof Sterling Lord
5. uncomfort uncomfortable
-+
Litenstic, Inc. and Henry Holt and Company, Inc.
6. with send with sending
-+
Page 296, "Discovering the l h t h about Colurnbus"by Charlea Sugnet and
Joanna O'Connell. Fhpnnted by permission of Charles Sugnet and Joanna
7. however, home-schooling movement + however, the O'ConneIl.
-
home-schooling movement
8. are accuse are accused
9. independence thinking independent thinking
Page 297, *Do Not Disturb" Copyright B 1986 Time Inc. Reprinted by permls-
s10n.
Page 299, 'Sacred Plnces"by Dan Baum. Repnnted by p e n s s i o n of Dan Baum.
Page 303, "Auto-wacy 1s being exported to the third world" by ,Mary Morse.
10. and put and of putting
+
Reprinbd by permlaslon o f Mary Morse.
Page 312, Talung the Bungee Plunge'by Ginia Bellafante. Repnnted by per-
11. has tried tried
4
mission of Ginla Bellafante.
12. crush crushes Page 315, "Darwin Rev~sited"by James Marti. Copyright Q 1992 by James
13. that they accommodate that accommodate
+
Marti. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permlssfon.
Page $18, Excerpt from Black Holes and Baby Universes and Other Essays by
14. creating create Stephen W. Hawking. Copyright O 1993 by Stephen W.Hawking. Used by per-
15. laboratory rats paralyze 3laboratory rats are paralyzed rnlsslon of Bantam Books, a diws~onof Bantam Doubleday Dell Publiahlng
16. Instead of teach Instead of teaching
-+
Group,Inc. and Stephen Hawking d o Writer's House, 1nc. aa agent For the pro-
pnetor.
17. had turned + turn Page 322, The Quality of Mercfhy Rita Williams. Reprinted by permlsslon of
18. Parents are happy -+ Parents happy Rita Williams.
Page 327, Reprinted from Etghb Ltltle PEggtes: Refictions in Natural History by
19. than would than they would
-+
Stephen Jay Gould, with the permission of W. W. Norton &Company, Inc.
20. are cover cover
-+ Copyright O 1993 by Stephen Jay Ctould.
Psge 331, From Savage Inequal~tlesby Jonathan Kozol. Copyright Q 1491 by
22. all case -r all cases Jnnarhan Kozol. Repnnted by permiamon of Crown Publishers, Inc.
22. While . . . , but for some While . . ., for some
4 Page 337, "History Pmves It: Other Systems of Naming Work," excerpted wth
permlssron from the book Nammng Ourselue*, Mumrw Our Children: Resolutng
the Last Natne Dtlernma, by Shamn Lebell. Copyright Q 1988 by Sharon
Lebell.
Page 344, Deena R. LevinelMara B. Adelman, Beyond Lnnguage: Cross-Cultural
Communmtwn, 2nd ed. Q 1993, pp. 101-110. Repnnted by permission of
Prentice Hall, Inc.
Page 349, *How to Spot a Liarnby Benedict Carey. Reprinted from In Health 6
1990. Repr~ntedby permisaon.
Page 353, "Piirnate Studies and Sex Differencesnby Sally Linton. Reprinted by
permission of Sophi Sm~thCollection, Smith College.